COWCORNER ZAMI ARMY GLOSSY CRCKET MAGAZINE
2010 EDITION
CRICTATOR’S MESSAGE SEASON ROUND UP MATCH REPORTS FRIENDLIES CROCODYLIDAE DERBY TOUR
ZAMI 2 BEAT ZAMI 1
Photo discovered without Floris in it 1. Welsh Sheep scores 1100 runs 9. STRAWBERRY FIELDS AWARD 46. Page 1
CONTENTS 5. E G SA S E M 6. R O P T U A D T C N I U O R . C 3 R 1 N S O T S R A O E P S E R 9. 3 H S C IE L MAT D EN 6. I 4 R E F A D I L . DY 2 O 6 C O UR CR O T Y . B 8 6 R E 1 D I M A Z T A BE 2 I ZAM Kindly Sponsored by Theo Lindemann & Nick Fowler
Special thanks to all the photographers: especially Toon Hintzen, Paul McPhillimy, Lucs Evans and Phil Yisreal Page
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COWCORNER
2010: Mad Cow or Damp Squid? Magazine created by John Richardson and Nick Fowler Page 3
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VRA ZAMI 2010 PREFACE By Sir Isaac Kappelle!
A
s the spiritual leader and president of the VRA Zami’s, it gives me great pleasure writing preliminaries for another wonderful specimen of Cow Corner, the annual retrospection of the VRA ZAMI season, so cunningly put together by Messrs. Fowler and Richardson. In cricket, there are two things: great friendships and stats. Friendship with the Greatest Pastime of All. Friendship with your club. Friendship with old and new cricket friends alike. Friendship with yourself. The groundsman. Your Captain. The Committee. The Tea Ladies. The Umpires? And stats: your own, your team’s, your buddy’s, your club’s. About both quantities non-negligible this season’s incunabula displays an array of fine examples. Playing for the VRA Zami’s since 1979 (indeed: 31 years, a milestone and a fine stat), I have just once come across a cricketer who keeps improving every season while nearing the milestone of 60. That is not runs but years in age: Mike George, who will turn 60 this December scored more than 1000 runs in the 2010 season. Indeed, for several teams in many an innings. However, this is a Major Achievement. Chapeau bas, Mike! And now we’d like to know: how did Mike do it? He never practises! So, any youngsters paying attention: do not follow this poor example. Just ask Mike: how did you do it? Mike, on behalf of all of us at Zami HQ: Van Harte Gefeliciteerd! Looking over my shoulder, we see a season with Zami 2 coming second and Zami 1 fourth. A temporary end to our league domination? Well, what goes up must come down, as Sir Isaac so cleverly found out watching us from above. Congratulations to Captains Anthony Lynch and Willem van Mierlo: you both did a spiffing job inspiring the troops to high spirits and creating many unforgettable moments. Especially when one considers the healthy state of the Zami’s with excellent participation: 43 players across both teams. 31 of them were allowed to bowl showing that we continue to ensure that everyone gets a game. Top wicket taker Paul McPhillimy: very well done, McPhillers! Many thanks to all match reporters who contributed so much of the written content of the book. All but three people delivered this year (names known with crickator; brief chat after the clubhouse to follow soon). Excuses like the dog ate the homework are acceptable, but the chap who asked them should be punished in the first place. Thanks to all who did the things some of us take for granted behind the scenes: running the bar, the kitchen, the club, maintaining the pitch, preparing for international games, managing funds, coaching players, cleaning up, throwing parties, umpiring, scoring, supporting other VRA teams, supporting Zami teams, listening to endless speeches, putting up boarding, etc. Thanks to Sanne and His Men for organizing the marvellous 9-day Tour to Devon. Thanks to our opponents, without whom Saturdays wouldn’t be nearly so much fun. With pain in our hearts we saw Rood & Wit’s Last Hooray at the National Zami Stage. On the other hand we are happy to welcome 10 new, ex-R&W, members at VRA. We will do everything to make you feel at home in the Amsterdamse Bos. Congratulations to VRA 1 and their awesome Captain Peter Borren who did great things with many of us during net practise, together with club coach Tim Muir. And very clever to cameo a secret weapon: Zami 1 Captain Mr Anthony Lynch, who was very much involved in winning the National Double. Nobby, you Legend! Now suffering from another horrible cricket-less period, we soon may find remorse and ourselves at Coco’s Outback to watch a bit of Ashes; during the traditional Driekoningen Dinner in January at the club, and start boozing in at next year’s Season Opening Party in April, Chez Jackie & Nick, in their most hospitable townhouse on Noordermarkt. Third time, what legendary hosts! Many thanks, mint Zami spirit. Now let me bless this book with bliss, another magnum opus ipse fecit by Sir Richo the Bookmaker with kind assistance of Nick Fowler and Theo Lindemann. Finally, wishing you all strength on our way towards another glorious Zami season in 2011 with just one last word of advice: always secure avoidance of an awkward late afternoon stamina crisis before batting on for a big hundred in the evening. § Vivat, floreat, crickat! Page 5
“So, how was the
Sir Richo wins the Cementy Boots award 2009. And then falls in the canal and drowns Page
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Zami Army 2009 Season
2010 Season?”
by Nick ‘Howler’ Fowler Page 7
THE ZAMI ARMY 2009 CRICKET SEASON DIGEST
As always, we had as much fun off the pitch as on it, thanks to the teas, the dinners, the barbecues, the parties and the nights-on-the-town, not least at VRA’s Zami unofficial in-town pavilion Coco’s Outback. Indeed, while we may have temporarily lost our cricketing edge in 2010, VRA Zami Gezelligheid remains at an all time high. Talking of which: I hope to see you next April for 2011’s season opening drinks! Page
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The Howler Residance On April 9th 2010 over 40 Zami’s crawled out of
hibernation to celebrate the beginning of the new season at Nick Fowler’s house. The spring bunny Zamis had barely recovered from celebrating their 2008 and 2009 league domination, but this didn’t stop them from all giving themselves the first hangover of the season as the opening season drinks party ran well past 5am. Youth Beats Experience Two weeks later, however, the first match was a clear sign that Zami’s two year run of success was about to come to a crashing end. On April 24th a Zami combination team was bowled out for 63 by the under 18s who themselves had scored a comfortable 176 for the loss of only 5 wickets. 2010, it seemed, was going to be different. The Kampong King Kongs Indeed, it was different. Four months later both VRA Zami teams had been dethroned by Kampong who had spent the winter recruiting very tall and very quick bowlers who could also bat. In August, Zami 2 managed to defeat Zami 1 for the first time since May 2008, thereby winning second place. Zami 1 were nudged out of 3rd place by VCC, and had to settle for 4th place above Rood and Wit, GroenGeel and HCC. It’s all NIel Bowning’s Fault What accounts for this change in fortunes? A glance at this season’s statistics shows that loss of key players was the driving factor. Three of last year’s top five run scorers weren’t available to play more than one game between them: Neil Browning and Rohan Liyanage having moved to Scotland and Australia respectively, while Paul Michaelides found himself having to travel to Paris for work too frequently to be able to play. Similarly, on the bowling front we missed key talent: Neil was last year’s top wicket taker, but managed only one game in 2010. Marnix was last year’s 5th highest wicket taker, but bowled a mere seven overs in 2010. Finally, 2008 Kappelle Boots Award winner Volken Akkerman was able to play only one game in 2010. The Shining The space made by former stars, however, created room for others to shine. Veteran batsman Mike George had a horrible season in 2009, ranking number 15 by runs scored but turned that completely around this year and ended the season as VRA Zami’s most prolific batsman with 306 runs. Paul McPhilimy, who was only the 14th highest wicket taker in 2008, but ended the 2010 season with 16 wickets making him the leading wicket taker of
the VRA Zami squad. Paul also scored 130 runs, making him one of the leading all-rounders too, along with Anthony Lynch (13 wickets, 109 runs), Joost Dekkers (12 wickets, 89 runs), Nick Fowler (10 wickets, 140 runs), SoS Mulder (9 wickets, 104 runs), Phil Yisrael (6 wickets, 265 runs), Louis Collignon (6 wickets, 186 runs), and Willem van Mierlo (6 wickets, 149 runs). Finding Form Mike wasn’t the only veteran Zami to find his form. Toon Hintzen found his batting touch again, scoring 130 runs to become the 7th highest scorer in 2010 (vs. ranking 21 in 2008 with 63 runs, and 21 in 2009 with 52 runs.) Floris scored a fine half century. Finally, Theo Lindemann managed to get his pink gloves working, taking 7 catches and 3 stumpings over the season (vs. 2/3 in 2008 and 3/0 in 2009). Friendly Fun In addition to the league, we played the usual friendlies. On July 9th a combi team beat the Crocs, a game that resulted in easily the most surreal match report of the season thanks to Sanne, the letters of whose name are also Nsane. The quirky and fiercely independent Sanne also lead the season’s annual tour to Devon in July which was a great success. Fresh Blood Again we saw a healthy influx of new blood. Rens Mulder returned from a self-imposed fallow period as a Rensational all-rounder for Zami 2, bowling with Nobby-like pace and smashing sixes as if he was swatting mosquitoes against Zami 1. Louis Rimmington joined Zami 2 from the UK to become the 9th highest scorer of the VRA Zami squad (129 runs, average 21.5). Luke Brown swapped the Zimbabwe bush for the Amsterdamse Bos to become the VRA Zami’s fourth highest wicket taker (12 wickets) with his swing and seam. Paul Baecke from South Africa took 6 wickets with his teasing spin to put him on a par with established players like Tommy Spits and John Richardson. Performances Meanwhile the new blood of 2008 and 2009 began to congeal. Michiel Blokland increased his batting average to 17 (vs. 3 in 2008 and 14 in 2009). Gentle giant Sander Kempen memorably smashed his way to 41 against GroenGeel thereby increasing his average to 13 (vs. 0 in 2009).§ by Nick Fowler Page 9
THE SEASON OF ALL STARS
The first thing I’d like to do is congratulate some very notable performances this year:- Firstly Phil Yisrael for getting his maiden 100 for VRA. Not before time of course -you lazy non-training git! Well done Phil. Secondly, Willem and Joost for their maiden captaincy this season. Well done Willem, just make sure you keep the rottweiler Phil in his place next season. And Joost, when you’re under pressure
by Mike George
make sure you’ve got your cap on. Batsmen are complaining they can’t see the ball for the round red thing glowing just above your forehead. Luke (and Susanne) - thanks for everything you brought to the club and there was so much that you did bring. Good luck in Darkest Africa. If you don’t get eaten out there (sexual preferences not withstanding of course) then please come back to us next year. Also a huge thanks to Spoon and Ruurt who
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despite very limited batting and bowling (for different reasons) still worked tirelessly in organising the teams and transport which we all too easily take for granted every week. Also Theo, because of his near anonymous generosity, and the fact that I love him dearly. And of course Floris whose remarkable delegation skills off the pitch now even stretch to delegating his lesser duties on the pitch as well. Big thanks to Sanne for organising such a great tour; John and Nick for their very hard work in preparing this wonderful publication; and Toon for the huge amount of unpaid effort he has put into the club all season. Penultimately, a small word of praise, and source of pride for myself. 1000 runs for VRA this year – in a lot of matches of course but far less than my age (and Floris’ waist measurement). And finally Nobby, who is living proof that ZAMI cricket is the natural breeding ground for middle-aged double (T/20 and 50 overs) Topklasse champions. Great stuff Nobby. Must have been all the gym-work, early nights and AA meetings! Very well done indeed.
But enough individual smugness. What happened to our teams this season?
Well, no titles nor champagne for VRA ZAMI in 2010. But when I looked through the statistics one thing became very clear, and very comforting, Unlike previous seasons, when our excellent results had been (all too) heavily influenced by a few particular players having to play up to their full strengths every week, this season the workload was much more evenly spread. This year, a lot more people stepped up to the mark. In the batting area for instance their were half-centuries for no less than 13 individuals namely:- Phil (100 n.o.), Louis C. (86! great stuff Louis, get the 100 next year), Volken (77 – in his only innings. Look after your fingers next season – you are a fucking doctor after all!), Leon (76 – many centuries ahead for that exceptionally talented young man), plus Ed, Willem, Nobby, Bob-Jan, Mike Rier, SOS, Luke, Floris and myself. In addition there were 5 more players:- Nick, Louis R., Paul, Maarten and Sander (well done Sander!!) who fell only just short of the magic half-number. I don’t have the statistics anymore for previous seasons but I don’t believe we’ve had a season with anything like 13 different half-centurians and 5 jug-avoiders. And in the bowling department the spoils could also hardly have been more equally divided. We had 6 bowlers Nobby, SOS, Paul, Joost, Luke, and Louis C. all of whom bowled 33 or more overs and all of whom managed an economy rate of under 5.00 - with Nobby and SOS’s under 4.00. So why do I find this comforting when we didn’t win a title? The answer is obvious of course. The potential is there, and it’s no longer reliant upon the few. Now it’s reliant upon us all to do well, because this season so many of us proved we can. If we add a pinch more consistency, together with some of our good friends from R&W next year, I think Kampong’s grip on “our” title will be prised loose in 2011 not by a few stars but by the VRA ZAMI ALL STARS. Success!§
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ZAMI MATCH REPORTS 2010
Big Zami thanks to everyone who volunteered to write match reports this year. And those unsung heros, the scorers. Love your work. (And a special treat follows for all you match reporters whose dog ate your homework) Page 13
The ZAMI ARMY All but three people wrote match reports as requested this year. However, apparently the dog ate the homework of Toon, Louis, and Tommy, and we are still awaiting their reports. But of course they do lots else for the club, so they are forgiven and I am the one who should be punished for having asked them in the first place. Here’s how the conversations went for the three reports that we’re still missing: 1. Missing report #1 (Zami 2 v HCC, May 1, 2010. Appointed match reporter: Toon Hintzen) Nick: Toon, when do you think you’ll be able to send the match report? Toon: Didn’t Sanne send it to you yet?! I sent it to him on Wednesday I think or was it Thursday and he said he’d send it to you but he added some really weird and inappropriate comments to it about so-and-so being buried under the main VRA pitch so I told him to remove it before posting it to How’s That and he said he would. I can’t believe he hasn’t sent it to you yet! Son of a b****! Nick: Uh huh. If you sent it to Sanne, can you send it to me too please. Toon: Sure. Definitely. I’ll send it to you on Monday.” Nick: [two weeks later] Toon, I still didn’t get it Toon: Sorry mate. I’ll send it to you on Monday. Definitely. Repeat ad nauseam until September 2. Missing report #2 (Appointed match reporter: Louis Collignon) Nick: Louis, when do you think you’ll be able to send the match report? Louis: Sorry mate. I’ll do it this weekend. You’ll have it on Monday. Sorry about that. Nick: [One week later] Louis, when do you think you’ll be able to send the match report? Louis: Sorry mate. I’ll do it this weekend. You’ll have it on Monday. Sorry about that. Nick: [One week later] Louis, when do you think you’ll be able to send the match report?
Winter Training Camp Page
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For all those who promised to write match reports, but whose dog ate thier homework, boy have we got a special treat for you:
A ONE WAY TICKET TO OUR NEW SIBERIAN TRAINING FACILITIES Louis: Sorry mate. I’ll do it this weekend. You’ll have it on Monday. Sorry about that. Repeat ad nauseam until September 3. Missing report #3 (Zami 2 v Kampong, August 14th 2010. Appointed match reporter: Tommy Spits) Nick: Tommy, when do you think you’ll be able to send the match report? Tommy: I already sent it to you! Nick: Really, sorry I didn’t get it yet. Which e-mail address did you send it to? Tommy: the same one you always use. Nick: That’s really weird. OK, in that case please can you e-mail it to me again? Tommy: sure, no problem Nick: [one week later, sends Tommy a reminder message to ensure he has the right e-mail address] No response Nick: [one week later, sends Tommy a reminder message to ensure he has the right e-mail address and asks “are you getting my e-mails?”] No response
Repeat ad nauseam until September
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ZAMI Mixed Team REPORT, Saturday April 24th 2010
VRA ZAMI – VRA U-18 Zami 63 a.o. - U18 176 for 5
“Youth beats experience...” by Joost Dekkers
Finally the long Dutch off-season has ended.
Traditionally the cricketseason for The VRA ZAMI`s starts with a friendly match against The VRA U-18`s. Also this year both teams were able to form two quite fit and evenly balanced sides (at least on paper...) to play this yearly great exhibition match on the second field of VRA on a very clear and sunny Saturday. ZAMI-Captain Louis Collignon agreed with Vinoo Tewarie to field first. The ZAMI`s had been practicing in the nets twice a week sinds about a month and were feeling fit and confident. Paul McPhillimy (0-15-8) and Luke Brown (1-33-8), new ZAMI-star from Zimbabwe, were entrusted with the new ball and Volken Akkerman was posted behind the stumps. The U-18`s openend with ZAMI-mercenary Mike “I feel 18 again after my knee surgery.” George (27 runs) and Pargat Singh (6), who was beautifully caught in the slips by Joost Dekkers to his own and mostly his teammates` surprise.... Paul and Luke bowled a spell of consistent mediumpace >>
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ZAMI Mixed Team REPORT, Saturday April 24th 2010
bowling before Filip Deelen (0-15-5) and Maarten Slagter (1-20-4) took over. Vinoo Tewarie (33 with a few great boundaryshots) formed a steady partnership with Leon Turmaine (32), who was caught and-bowled by Louis Collignon (1-15-4). The U-18`s were doing well closely watched and analized by the new coach Tim Muir (thanks for umpiring) and kept scoring 4 to 5 runs an over, although getting a little frustrated by the accurate slowbowling and proper fielding by The ZAMI`s. Tom Swann added a solid 41 runs before he was caught by Filip Deelen on bowling by Joost Dekkers (2-6-23). Thijs van Nierop, back in business after a few years, and Paul Baecke, new Southafrican-Belgium (?) overseasplayer, both also bowled 2 decent overs. Only dissonant was Tim Ellerton, who was struggling a little bit to control his notorious and fierce legspin bowling in this openinggame after a long and inactive winter of drinking Heinekens....After 40 overs The U-18`s set a target of 176 for 5 with Bilal Dhmad (21*) and Kirendiep Singh (4*) not out. The ZAMI`s were quite sure that they would succeed in chasing this total.... After a great lunch served by Jessie Volken Akkerman (2) opened with Maarten Slagter (0), who got out LBW on the first magic ball of the second innings beautifully bowled by Dhruv Sarma (4-15-5). Dhruv and partner Khanzadah Wazeri (5-14-5) got off to a rocketing start and the youngsters demolished the ZAMI-battingsite dismissing one batsmen after another with pace and swing. The ZAMI`s were hopelessly struggling with this youthful bravura from the start and never got into the game. Sarah Turmaine had a busy job scoring and writing down the one-by-one outgoing batsmen... Filip Spiering and Kirendiep Singh (1-12-3; VRA U-13!) finished the misery of The ZAMI`s in style. After less than 16 overs The ZAMI`s were all out on 63. There were ducks for Maarten Slagter, Martijn Groenewegen, Filip Deelen and Thijs van Nierop. Tim Ellerton (8), Joost Dekkers (5), Paul Baecke (1), Louis Collignon (1) and Ruurt Schreuder (1) got at least of the mark and/or hit a few. Only Paul McPhillimy (12) and Luke Brown (16*) were able to score double figures... Resume: A poor (batting-) performance for The ZAMI`s at the start of the season and therefor some work to do in the nets the coming weeks. A victory for Vinoo and his teammates (that makes three in a row in this classical clash); congratulations. And –last but not least- another fine edition of this traditionally demonstration match of cricket in the right spirit between two VRA-teams! §
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ZAMI 1 REPORT, Saturday 8 May 2010
VRA Zami 1 - VCC Zami 1
Match aborted after light drizzle. by Michiel Blokland The VRA Zami a team consisted of Paul McPhillimy, Phil Ysrael, Jeroen “SOS” Mulder, Jeroen “Agent Mulder, Mike George, Michael Blokland, Niek Bertholet, Nick Fowler, Kempen Sander, Maarten Slagter and Willem van Mierlo (captain). Everyone was sharp and had all winter looked forward to this game, where the first blow would be half the battle. The trip went well to Voorburg despite the Giro d’Italia battered Amsterdam. The dark clouds, heavy little good, but given the fact that the light rain, meant that the match could go through. Captain Willem van Mierlo lost the toss and VRA was sentenced to the field. VRA opened with Paul McPhillimy on one side and Jeroen “SOS” Mulder on the other side. That the first game of the season was demonstrated by the sharpness of some VRAers. The eye is very simple trapping opportunities were a number of fielders (names not listed) properly ruined.
Result, VCC lost more runs on the boards managed to get. After 7 overs was the counter at about 50 runs for 0 wickets. The turnaround in the race would soon emerge in the form of a successful catch by Jeroen “SOS” Mulder after pressure from the batsmen, bowlers VRA not handle. A gruesome inswinger Maarten “The Slayer” Slagter was soon an end to the illusions of the third batter of VCC. VCC was already hanging on the ropes when it was decided that the grass wicket of VCC was not further affected by the brutal field of VRA. The game was stopped after 9 overs and not resumed. VRA chose not got all day to enjoy the hospitality of VCC and moved to Utrecht to Zami 2 to encourage and to brush their own skills in the nets of Kampong. §
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ZAMI ARMY REPORT, Saturday 15 May 2010
VRA Zami 1 - VRA Zami 2
VRA Zami 1 won by 5 wickets by Nick Fowler Nothing gets Zami blood racing more than a Zami Derby. E-mail servers were abuzz with sledges for the preceding week initiated, as is traditional, by the Sydney Sledger Phil Yisrael. Amidst all the posturing, this match reporter reminded everyone of the facts: Zami 1 has beaten Zami 2 in all three of our last encounters. Richo Richardson chimed in that Zami 2 did beat Zami 1 on May 3 2008. Indeed, that is true. While on the topic of ancient history we should note that England also won the World Cup in 1966 and therefore it is possible that they will do so again in 2010. The question was, could Zami 2 restore its honour against its nemesis Zami 1, or is it too destined for 40+ years of misery reflecting on its single moment of glory like the England football team? On the big match day VRA looked like an oasis of serenity while the rest of Amsterdam looked like an apocalyptic war zone from a Sci-Fi movie due to the ubiquitous sky-high rubbish heaps caused by the garbage collectors’ strike. The weather was almost springlike as the sun broke through the haze causing the mercury to strain above twelve degrees Celsius for the first time this May. Bob-Jan Spits and Floris Kappelle opened for Zami 2 to face the demon duo of Jeroen ‘Son-ofSieb’ Mulder and Paul McPhillimy. Runs came slower than a Toon Hintzen match report, but unlike Toon’s match report they did eventually materialise. Floris fell first for just one run caught by new Zami 1 captain Willem van Mierlo off the bowling of Paul McPhillimy. Bob-Jan was dropped a couple of times as he flexed his muscles driving in the V, and Niek Bertholet had to leave the field to ice his thumb which met less than cleanly with a Bob-Jan bullet at mid on. However, just as BJ was starting to look dangerous he was competently caught on 24 off Phil’s bowling by Jeroen ‘Agent’ >> Mulder stretching both arms at full length to take the catch over his head in the gully.
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VRA Zami 1 - VCC Zami 1 (Cont) That left a new pair of batsmen to contend with a new pair of bowlers as John Reardon and Huib Bier faced Rens Mulder and Phil Yisrael. Zami 2’s scoring went from sluggish to slower. Rens Mulder bowled a truly Rens-sational spell in which John Reardon watched the ball pass his outside edge over and over again to the delight of the Sydney Sledger at square leg. John Reardon was sorely in need of a spoonful of batting laxative to loosen up the constipated scoring rate. He thought this had come in the form of loopy Louis Collignon and just as he was opening up he squeezed out a straightforward catch to Rens at mid on. Shortly after, Nick Fowler’s first ball of the season pinned Huib Heineken LBW. Louis then took two more wickets in one over (Otto Storm, Filip Deelen) and together with an uncharacteristically Howler-free Fowler continued to keep Zami 2 from scoring fluidly. Willem van Mierlo and Niek Bertolet showed the depth of Zami 1 bowling by coming in as fifth and sixth change respectively with Willem taking out Toon Hintzen who made a handy 15. JJ Sobti (35 not out) and Nobby Lynch finally managed to get the Zami 2 scorecard flowing in the final overs. One hit across the line too many saw Nobby’s middle stump fall to SoS-age on 20, bringing Joost Double Dekkers and his trademark red helmet to the crease. Alas, Joost fell quickly for 2, leaving Zami 2 with 154 after 40 overs. Far from prompting complacency, the target of 3.9 runs per over prompted a pre-tea on-field huddle initiated by Willem van Mierlo but completed by Mikey George who emphasized that what would surely lose Zami 1 the match would be ‘not batting sensibly.’ Resisting all urges to be not sensible, Zami 1 took tea with Zami 2. Zami 1 opened sensibly with Mike George and former captain Collignon. Mikey put his bat where his mouth was and showed himself to be a pupil of the Reardon school of run-rates with the key difference being that Mike did actually put bat on ball. But not often enough. Joost, who was clearly put on to open in an effort to tempt Zami 1 not to be sensible, found his way past Mikey’s bat and nailed him LBW with just 7 runs. Unfortunately Joost’s opening bowling partner Fast Eddy re-earned his name by fast injuring himself as he pulled a stomach muscle straining to find his former pace. >>
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ZAMI ARMY REPORT, Saturday 15 May 2010
Louis was looking in good form but in a non-sensible moment found himself out LBW for 12 to JJ Sobti who was brought on as first bowling change. However, JJ fast went the way of Fast Eddy and also had to retire hurt as a knee injury from batting came home to roost. With the opening batsmen uprooted, Agent Mulder and Volken Akerman took up the charge for Zami 1. Agent’s unique baseball style usually has one of two outcomes: he is out swinging within an over or two, or he swings and connects with awesome power. Fortunately for Zami 1 he was the latter batter today, and he connected cleanly with the increasingly hostile bowling attack now led by Nobby Lynch. However, Agent and Volken stood up well building a partnership of 61 runs before Agent finally lost his middle stump to Nobby with 21 runs. The sight of the helmeted Sydney Sledger coming to the crease combined with the loss of two key bowlers was like a red rag to a bull to the usually affable Nobster. We all know about Nobby’s bowling talent but perhaps none of us has witnessed it so vividly as during the four superb deliveries unleashed on Phil, the last of which destroyed his stumps as convincingly as it raised Zami’s 2’s spirits. An uncharacteristically quiet Phil left the field with a duck four balls after he arrived to the background of joyful giggling and jeering from Zami 2. Martin Slagter arrived to take Phil’s place. Knowing that Nobby still had five more overs to go, and seeing the form he was on, the prospect of a Zami 1 team Lynching was still entirely feasible. If they were contemplating possible defeat, however, Martin and Volken didn’t show it and both calmly managed to keep Nobby at bay while scoring from the bowler at the other end. That is until Thijs van Nierop bowled Martin Slagter for 3 runs. Nick Fowler was up next and had a clear mission: keep Nobby from causing a Zami 1 collapse, and allow Volken to keep scoring. Notwithstanding a couple of vigorous but declined LBW appeals, some tenacious blocking from Fowler complemented by increasingly fluid scoring from Volken saw Zami 1 steadily accumulate runs. Volken effortlessly passed fifty around the 27th over. After Fowler (5 not out) blocked out Nobby’s eighth and final over Zami 1 were home and dry. Four balls from John Reardon led to two boundaries by Volken in the 33rd over and with them the winning runs for Zami 1. Volken deservedly earned man of the match for his flawless 77 not out. So, of the five times we’ve ever met that makes it 4:1 to Zami 1.
Bring on the August Derby! §
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ZAMI 1 REPORT, Saturday 22 May 2010
VRA Zami 1 - HCC Zami 1
VRA Zami 1 won by 88 runs Location – VRA - ABN AMRO Pitch
by Paul McPhillimy
On a glorious warm and sunny day at VRA, with Willem Van Mierlo not available stand in
Captain Phil Yisrael won the toss and decided to have a bat. With the temperatures the highest of the year the Zami I team were quite happy with the decision. Louis Collignon and Mike George opened the innings each with his own style of batting. Louis was fluent and in very good nick reaching his 50 in relative ease, Mike on the other hand must have either been rewatching the John Reardon innings of the week before or deciding it would be more charitable to slow the run rate down to make it more interesting. Due to the slow run rate from Mike he was retired not out on 28 to give the others a chance and push the run rate on. Louis continued to score fluently as he saw Theo, Sander and Agent come and go before he himself was trapped LBW ending an excellent innings on 86. With only a handful of overs left the remaining batsmen came in and tried to give it the “long handle” to push the score up to the 250 mark with Paul McPhillimy smashing a quick fire 24 at more than a run a ball. Ending the innings on 246-6 off 35 overs. It was then HCC’s turn to bat. Jeroen “SOS” Mulder and Swaroop Bantwal opened up for VRA and initially found it hard going, not able to consistently find a good line and length and at times unable to control the swinging cherry. HCC lost their first wicket through a combination of good fielding from Paul Baecke and a suicide call from Jonathon Westbury off the bowling of SOS. With the opening bowlers struggling, Skipper Yisrael decided to change things up bringing himself and Paul McPhillimy on, it was Paul who managed to find his line and length early on finding the outside edge of Napier and Theo taking a nice catch behind the sticks. Paul continued to bowl well picking up 2 more wickets finishing up with 5-1-13-3 even at times surprising himself with a couple of bouncers! Phil also bowled well finishing up with 7-1-26-1. Nick took over duties and continuing from last weeks impressive spell put the ball in the right place with great flight and control, the “Fowler Howler’s” seemingly a thing of the past! Ending with 6-0-22-2. Sander Kempen then took the ball and bowled Lamekar on 12. The only real resistance in the HCC batting came from Paul Bennett who batted very well scoring 43 before a brilliant piece of fielding form Jeroen “SOS” Mulder with a direct hit ran him out. Paul Baecke then wrapped up a good all round performance scoring 2no., making a run out, taking a catch and then a wicket. The only downside to a great all round team performance were the 51 extras conceded, but so far this season is 2 wins from 2 (completed) games. §
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ZAMI 2 REPORT, Saturday 29 May 2010
VRA Zami 2 - Groen Geel
VRA Zami 2 lost by 6 wickets VRA Zami 2 174/7 - Groen Geel 175/5
by Tim Ellerton
A
nother early meet at Wildshcut only for us to hang around eating toasties and drinking coffee before the short(ish) journey to Groen & Geel. On arrival we were met by some familiar faces including captain Peter Smulders and the somewhat eccentric but cricket loving Bastian Stapel.
Joost Dekkers promptly won the toss although the ICC are still reviewing the credibility of the “why don’t you have a bat” as a legitimate way of deciding who is put in first. As the sun shone and as the rest of the team gathered under the gazebo’s to watch Filip Deelen and Mike George open the innings there was quite some debate as to what a PAR score would be against the often erratic (and often woeful) Groen & Geel attack. The slow, bouncy (yes I know that sounds strange but its true) wicket made for difficult batting conditions and concentration by the batsman was never going to be easy especially when it seemed every other ball was a wide. After a solid start the partnership was broken as Filip smashed a ball high into the sky but sadly for him into the waiting arms of the bowler. Mike George continue to frustrate the bowlers and Toon Hintzen took his time to settle but once in looked comfortable and moved the score on nicely. Mike George soon departed for 17 patient runs and the baby faced assassin, Rens Mulder, joined Toon at the crease. Rens took it upon himself to move the run rate along and wheras previous batsman (and those to come) struggled to make the most of some wayward bowling on this tricky pitch, he showed excellent feet movement and turned long hops into full tosses and sent the ball to all corners of the G&G ground. A huge six which nearly ended up in the hole of a golf green over long-on and some fine drives for 4 ensured that he acquired a healthy total of 35 runs at a time when VRZ needed it most. >> Page 27
ZAMI 2 REPORT, Saturday 29 May 2010
Zami 2 v Groen & Geel A huge six over long on landed up in the hole of the nearby golf green. Then boy did it rain. And I’d forgotten my bikini. Tim Ellerton joined Toon Hintzen at the crease and in an effort to emulate Mr. Mulder’s quick scoring and intelligent batting tried to hit everything out of the ground from ball one! The importance of playing oneself in, no matter what stage the innings is at, was all too evident and despite good bat speed the ball either just missed the stumps or went through to the wicket keeper. You could feel the frustration in the gazebo-pavilion as the waiting batsman looked on as Hintzen and Ellerton failed to maintain a healthy run rate. Eventually both started to score with more freedom and some nice placing of the ball away from fielders by Toon and some big swipes from Ellerton for 6 meant both ended up with respectable scores of 39 & 24 respectively. The innings ended with VRA on 174 from their 35 overs and although below the expected 200+ total we all felt this would be more than enough against a rather weak and in some areas of the game inexperienced G&G attack. Tea was taken and the less said about that the better. Note to anyone playing G&G this season – bring your own sandwiches next time. VRA took the field and Edzard Koole and Swaroop Bantwal opened the innings. Some tight bowling (bar the odd wide of course – standard for Zami cricket) ensured VRA got off to a relatively solid start albeit the break through came a little later than expected. First change saw Filip Deelen come into the attack and although some balls totally foxed the batsman sadly a few full tosses were treated with the contempt they deserved and were dispatched to the boundary. Suddenly VRA were in a game. Something none of them had probably experienced against G&G – widely known as the weakest team in the Zami 2 League. Even more suddenly the rain came down. And boy did it rain. Being the sporting legends we are the VRA boys stayed out there despite the fact that swimwear would have been more appropriate. Sensibly someone, not sure who, decided enough was enough and we retired to the pavilion with G&G on 120 odd – 3 and looking very comfortable to reach their target within the allocated 35 overs. >>
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ZAMI 2 REPORT, Saturday 29 May 2010
Sometimes youthful exhuberance can overtake rational thought.
And this was one of those moments. Rather than call it a draw and retire to the pavilion for some warming beers the VRA boys took the field again and were made to pay. The run rate did not come down. The bowling did not get better and the fielding was scratchy. Before we knew it but G&G were on the brink of an easy win and had it not been for some tight bowling from Rens Mulder then the game would have been more of a beating than it was already. A lesson to us all I feel – given the opportunity then get off and take the draw! However, credit where credit is due – Groen & Geel rarely win (their words not mine) and they had every right to enjoy this victory. They beat us in every capacity of the game – fielding, batting, bowling and patience. We must learn from this loss against a team with far less talent than ourselves but on the day they were worthy winners. It doesn’tmake the loss any easier to take (against a team where we normally win comfortably) but its not how you lose – its how you come back. Starting this Saturday. Against VCC. Against Marc Notta. Do you need any more inspiration to put it right and get back to winning ways?? I thought not. §
Timtastic
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ZAMI 1 REPORT, Saturday 5 June 2010
VRA Zami 1 - Groen Geel VRA Zami 1 lost by 5 wickets
by Jeroen “SOS” Mulder
O
n one of the hottest Saturday’s so far this ‘summer’ VRA Zami 1 was scheduled to play Groen Geel. Zami 2 still being in a state of disbelief after having lost to Groen Geel the week before, Zami 1 was looking to get ahead in the league and seek revenge for Zami 2. A 12 man squad gathered at Wildschut, jumped into three cars of which only two made it to Groen Geel in Wassenaar. Nick Fowler’s rental car decided it much preferred to just not work leaving three players stranded at a sketchy parking lot. Nonetheless, they all made it safe and sound with Nick following an hour or so later. Before going into the details of this game, one must know that in the season of 2009 VRA Zami 1 played Groen Geel before. And they tied. A tie that resulted in Zami 1 being one single point behind Zami 2 in the league, eventually giving Zami 2 the championship. However, this year’s team was without skipper Louis Collignon, sledger Phil Yisrael and all-rounder Neil Browning. We gained little giant Sander Kempen, “I haven’t played for 13 years but you wouldn’t have guessed if I hadn’t told you so” Julian Molenaar, and Zomi veteran Maarten Slagter. Different, but still strong. Groen Geel won the toss and elected to field. Paul McPhilimy and Maarten Slagter opened the batting, but the unreliable bounce on the pitch surprised Paul leaving him caught with only 5 runs. Making matters worse, Sander Kempen went in to bat and was also surprised by the bounce, top edging it on the first ball. Caught and no runs. Jeroen “SOS” Mulder joined Maarten in the middle and agreed to build the opening partnership they needed. Short balls were dispatched for six by Jeroen, while Maarten kept on finding boundaries with the occasional singles. Yet Groen Geel’s tidy and deceptive bowling prevent both batsmen from really taking off. After a change of bowling to medium-pacer Peter Smulders, Jeroen was caught behind on the second ball of his over, leaving the pitch with having added 20 runs to the total. Captain Willem van Mierlo went in to bat and loved playing the short ones easily finding fours and sixes in almost all corners of the field. Maarten and Willem were the ones that managed to keep the score going, before Willem was stumped. But not before having scored a half-century with a total of 61 runs. It was a hot day and Maarten was feeling the pain. In a moment of losing his concentration he tried to play a wide ball, hesitated and was caught and bowled. 40 runs to the total. What followed was good bowling by Groen Geel ensuring Zami 1’s remaining batsmen were in all kinds of trouble. Julian Molenaar (7) was given LBW early on, Sanne Salomons (5) stumped on a near-wide, Michiel Blokland didn’t enjoy Sanne’s call for a quick single when he was run out without facing. Nick Fowler (1), Niek Bertholet (1) and Theo Lindemann (1) were all caught, leaving Jacob Ekkers not out with 6 runs. The total was 191 all out from 35 overs.
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It was a hot day and Maarten was feeling the pain
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ZAMI 1 REPORT, Saturday 5 June 2010
VRA Zami 1 - Groen Geel (cont)
Having seen Groen Geel’s plan of attack on an incredibly bouncy pitch, it was decided to attack Groen Geel’s batsmen with a mix of medium-pace and spin bowling. Paul McPhilimy (2/29/6.2) opened with Nick Fowler (0/55/5). After a great start with Paul and Theo sending the opening batsman back for 0 runs, it became clear that the other openings batsman knew how to handle the bounce much better and added a large number of runs to Nick’s opening overs.
But Paul was up for it and again decided to send the number three batsmen back for 0 runs. Things were looking hopeful, but Groen Geel thought differently and send in five batsmen whom all 20 to 30 runs each. We attacked with Julian Molenaar (2/27/4), Jeroen “SOS” Mulder (1/21/7), and spinners Willem van Mierlo (1/33/5) and Maarten Slagter (1/24/5), but one or two lose balls an over was enough for Groen Geel to keep the run rate on their side. Even a screamer of a catch by Niek Bertholet on long mid off followed by Sander Kempen taking a high one on mid on wasn’t enough to prevent Groen Geel from making 195 for 7 with plenty of overs left. In great Zami spirit Groen Geel hosted a splendid BBQ where we were joined by some of Groen Geel’s ladies and later on Zami 2 themselves (who had just beaten VCC). Despite having lost this one, it looks like playing Groen Geel away in Wassenaar is a guarantee for a great day with great people. §
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ZAMI 2 REPORT, Saturday 5 June 2010
VRA Zami 2 - VCC Zami 1 VRA Zami 2 won by 4 wickets
We lost the toss and decided to field first. by Johnny Richardson
T
he game started with a one minute silence for senior VCC cricketer Clemens Nota. We wish family and friends strength in working with this great loss. Many close to him had gathered at the club to watch his two sons and cousin play in the game against us. So out of respect we decided not to celebrate any wickets with our usual gusto. It was a sobering moment and weighed heavy on our minds as we wandered on to the field to start the game. Most of the team were also struggling under a sun that felt exactly like being attacked by a vindictive flame thrower. So for the first ten overs in this deep fried atmosphere we behaved like sleepwalking slugs. Joost Dekkers was becoming particularly agitated at the lackluster fielding performance. Bantwal Swaroop (0 for 34 off 7 overs) bowled well and kept it low off the grass wicket. New boy Louis Rimmington opened his Zami test career at the other end with a promising performance (0 for 21 off 4 overs). Yet the soporific ZAMI 2 fielders let ball and opportunity pass them by like goldfish gasping for air on a sushi chef’s slab. Half wiggling our apathetic fins at the passing balls. We looked confused, spineless and flaccid. Then a supernatural transformation took place. And proved once again that there truly is something very special about Zami 2. After the very welcome 10th over water break, Bob Jan Spits gave us a rousing, kick in the pants pep talk. It somehow managed to turn this hungover shambles into a lean, mean fighting machine. The turning point came in the 15th over when Johnny Richardson caught M. Nota on 43 runs (bowler Thijs van Nierop). The celebration was muted to a whisper, but we had found the light switch. Spin and flight are a lethal combination in the right hands. While he normally bowls like a mermaid in a spin dryer, Joost Dekkers (0 for 37 off 7 overs) kept VCC’s run rate down to a respectable dribble. Mr Heineken himself, the prince of the all-nighter, Tim Ellerton entered the fray with a respectable 0 for 15 off 2 overs. A bowler’s best weapon is confusion. Thijs Van Nierop (2 for 55 off 6 overs) has no idea how he does what he does, which is precisely why it’s so effective. Yet we dropped more catches than Toon Hintzen kept dropping the fact that he scored the winning 4 runs. They say a scary run up is also an effective bowler’s ploy. When Mike George came steaming down the track towards the popping crease all the horses in the far field ran for their lives behind the screen. Here they found about 100 quivering sheep. So they stood in front of them behind the screen to give deep extra cover (the extra cover joke was supplied by Toon Hintzen... did I tell you he got the winning runs? If I didn’t, he scored the winning runs). >> Page 33
VRA Zami 2 - VCC Zami 1 (cont)
ZAMI 2 REPORT, Saturday 5 June 2010
Johnny Richarson was an ace on the field. It was a terrific fielding and bowling performance (1 for 50 off 6 overs) and deservedly picked up a Kappelle Boot point. And there is one final unsung performance off the field. Thank you Ruurt Schreuder for organising the cars and getting all these freaks to Cafe Wildschut.
And now for the batting department. Mike George (47) struck at least six fours and opened with Joost Dekkers (21). By the time Joost had his bails taken off by Malik they produced a sold foundation partnership of 76 runs. Looking more comfortable with the bat than the ball, left hand bat Louis ‘The Grim Sweeper’ Rimmington (29) came in to partner with Mike George and produced a healthy partnership of 23. Malik bowled Mike George, but it looked decidedly like a no ball. Quite rightly Mike did not walk immediately. Tim Ellerton (15) came in and produced a quick yet important partnership of 33 with ‘The Rim Sweeper’. And now we hand you over to Cow Corner radio with live coverage of the final three overs with Sir Richo. “I say...marvellous...welcome back...and what a typically stinking *##¡¡* hot day it is here at the VCC ground. It’s the 31st over, VRA are five wickets down and there’s 203 runs on the board. Huib Bier is on five and Bob Jan Spits is on 40 runs. With a target of 229 runs we need just over seven an over to win.... we now hand you over to a news flash about Toon Hinzen taking the winning runs... Welcome back and it’s the 32nd over, we have 206 runs on the board and Bob Jan Spits is on 41. Huib Bier is on seven.... and we hand you over to a news flash update about Toon Hinzen taking the winning runs... Welcome back and it’s the first ball of the 33nd over and Bob Jan Spits hits a massive six. 213 runs on the board and we need 229 to win. Second ball and Huib Bier gets caught. Disaster. But...hang on....in walks Toon Hintzen (7) to join Bob Jan Spits at the crease. Toon gets off to a promising start with a ball that, much like his jokes, stops just short of the boundary, and gets three runs. 216 runs on the board. M. Nota bowls to Bob Jan Spits and he honky tonks it for a lovely six. And Bob Jan gets his 50 (including four sixes and five fours). We’re now on 222 runs. BJ (58) goes for a single, taking us to 223 and we need six to win. Another single. 224 runs now. Toon faces and gets a single from a bye and a run, making it two points on the board. 226 now. Three to win! Toon to face and... he sweeps it down leg, between fine leg and deep square, and reaches the boundary making it 230. We win by two runs on the 34th over... we now hand you over to a news flash update about Toon Hintzen taking the winning runs...” §
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But...hang on....in walks Toon Hintzen (7) to join Bob Jan Spits at the crease. Toon gets off to a promising start with a ball that, much like his jokes, stops just short of the boundary, and gets three runs. M. Nota bowls to Bob Jan and he honky tonks it for a lovely six. And BJ gets his 50 (including four sixes and five fours). Three to win! Toon to face and... Page 35
ZAMI 1 REPORT, Saturday 12 June 2010
VRA Zami 1 - HCC Zami 1 VRA Zami 1 won by 76 runs
ZAMI 1 173 v 8 in 35 overs — HCC 97 all out by Maarten Slagter ‘We made them in with butter and sugar’ On a Saturday with typical Dutch weather, a bit of sun, high white clouds and a nice gust of wind ZAMI 1 made the familiar way to HCC. We had to bat first and initially that didn’t go so well because of two exceptional dismissals. First Mike George received a ball which clearly pitched on a length outside off stump and took (wind, maybe?) an enormous inswing to break his wicket. I stood astonished at the bowlers end not knowing what would happen to me soon. Next over I got a short ball, which sat up nicely and I unleashed a cut shot from the heart of the bat. It went at an enormous speed through the air and the fielder at cover stuck out his left hand. The ball popped up out the hand and after two juggles he held on to it. He looked as surprised as me and the spontanous thing I did was walk over to him and congratulate him on the catch. Jeroen Mulder and Phil Ysrael now had to rebuild and quickly they picked up the pace and set a nice platform at 55 for 2. Jeroen clubbed a full toss on the clubhouse and then got out caught behind. Willem van Mierlo took his place and he and Phil formed the core of the innings by putting together 76 for the 3rd wicket. Willem (30) and Phil (71) stayed together until about the 28th over and with the contributions of Nick Fowler, Julian Molenaar, Jacob Ekkers, Sanne Salomons and Paul Baecke the final total was 173 after 35 overs. Julian unfortunately injured himself while diving to the crease after a sharp single. He fell on the top of the handle of his bat and a muscle in his thigh didn’t like that at all. Of course a cricketer can take a couple of bruises and after lunch he took the field with us. 173 was a par total and we knew that we couldn’t bowl or field like we did last week against Groen Geel, because then we would lose. Our bowling and fielding was today much better, apart from the one catch dropped in the 2nd over there were excellent performances by everybody. Jeroen Mulder and Maarten Slagter started with a solid opening attack and helped by sharp fielding inside the circle by Jacob Ekkers and outside the circle by Sanne (“Dwight Schrute”) Salomons who patrolled most of the on side boundary with excellent return throws their run rate was only a bit more then 2 an over when Phil and Willem took over. The pressure told on the HCC batsmen who tried to attack but it was a fantastic one hand caught and bowled by Phil, who took 3 wickets, that was the highlight of our fielding performance and sums up the focus with which we went on about our tasks. Sander Kempen and Sanne also took excellent catches and HCC was reeling at 50 for 5 after 15 overs. Nick Fowler came on and bowled two very good overs before he in his third over was struck with what we can know call the Steve Harmison virus what meant that as told by himself later he somehow lost completely control and couldn’t understand why. It will pass, Nick, no worries. Sander bowled and took a wicket and it was Paul Baecke who finished of the tail by taking three wickets, one of them a swift stumping by Theo Lindemann. At 97 HCC was all done and dusted and had to accept that we were much better on the day, which they did gracefully. All in all a pleasant trip to Den Haag and it felt good, as always, to return back home at VRA. §
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ZAMI 2 REPORT, Saturday 12 June 2010
VRA Zami 2 - VCC Zami 1 VRA Zami 2 lost by 4 runs
VCC 201(35 overs) v Zami 2 197 (35 overs) by Louis Rimmington Following last week’s remarkable run-chase of 230 at VCC last week, it was with eager anticipation that the Zami 2s welcomed the same opponents to VRA this Saturday. The intervening week had drizzled and rained and gen-erally oppressed the collective Amsterdam spirit, so it was with joyous pathetic fallacy that the illusive sun broke through the diminishing clouds, like the most glorious cover-drive beating a fielder’s futile sprawl. Skipper Anthony Lynch lost the toss, and once again VCC elected to bat first, backing their strongest suit to bludg-eon the VRA side into submission. However, as the game got under way, VCC soon found the going much more difficult, as opening pair Anthony “Nobby” Lynch and Luke “the Zimbi Zami” Brown bowled with good pace and exceptional control. Their hostile opening spell blew away the VCC top order, with Nobby skittling two and Brown, having showed great control of the away-swinging ball, out-foxed VCCs number three with a canny in-ducker. The opening pair’s control of line and length was ably supported by English legspinner Ed Jameson, who despite having less neck than Gladstone Small, more than made up for that deficiency with an abundance of flight and guile. However, trouble soon loomed for the VRA boys, as the imbalance of their attack was soon called into question. Whilst the efforts of the three front line bowlers, Nobby (3-17-7), Zimbi (2-17-7) and Gladstone (1-30-7), managed to limit their combined 21 overs to a paltry 60 runs, the remaining support bowlers were collectively unable to keep their run rates below 10 (apart for Richo and Ellerton)!! Tommy Spits (0-50-5), Johnny Richardson (0-29-3), Tim Ellerton(1-38-5) L. Rimmington (0-16-1), and your faithful reporter were dispatched to all parts of the VRA’s second ground as the VCC batsmen dutifully made hay while the sun shined. However, despite the proliferation of boundaries, still it seemed that Lady Luck was wearing grey that day, as the VCC innings was haunted by ill-fortune! Johnny Richo launched another delivery towards the heavens, where - gathering snow and endangering low-flying aircraft - it seemed to pause for hours as the determined VCC batsman waited below, coiled to strike. Some time later, the ball descended, the batsman unwound like a spring - SMASH - willow on leather - straight and true, destined to follow its predecessors to the promised land beyond the boundary line! But wait! Richo, spry and catlike as ever, drops on the ball with grace and élan! A crucial fingertip and on to the stumps! The destructive Molenbuur - VCC’s colossus at number four, wielder of willow and breaker of bowlers - is run out at the non-strikers end! Disaster for VCC and the VRA Zamis are ecstatic. This poor run of luck for VCC continued as your respectful reporter - known in Albion for having bigger holes in his hands than Jesus himself - caught not once but twice! Celestial order was soon restored however, as the destructive Mark Nota found Rimmington again at long-off - only to be spilled - it seems the Apocalypse is not yet upon us! The drop proved expensive as Nota went on to score another 20 runs in the closing overs to finish on 49 and guide his team to a re-spectable 201. Once again the Zami 2s had a chase on their hands. Despite much talk about the need for a solid base, both the Great Cricktator - Floris Kappelle, and Tim “lets get a move on lads, I’ve got to get to the footy” Ellerton soon found the eager hands of the point fieldsman to depart for less than either would have hoped. >> Page
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This prompted a rebuilding period, as myself at three and Huib ‘Heineken’ Bier at four sought to establish some position from which the following big-hitters could push for glory. Huib was undone for 18 by a decent delivery, bringing the destroyer Bobby Jan Spits, to the crease. Stood at the none-strikers end, your reporter witnessed the VCC bowlers visibly quaking as they relived the devastation of Bobby’s previous innings… one fielder at square leg was heard to scream “You don’t know! You weren’t there!”, in response to a perfectly reasonable inquiry from a neighbouring player. So overcome was I personally with the inevitability of Bobby repeating his heroics, that I clumsily pushed a ball back to the bowler, who obligingly swallowed a good catch to send me on my way for 25. Tragedy really struck when Bobby soon followed me back to the shed for just 4... leaving Zami 2s on the ropes, bruised and dazed. The counter punch inevitably came in the form of Mr Lynch. Nobby has long claimed the “Long and Hard in the V” was his motto, but was a great pleasure for me personally to see him actually apply it on the cricket field! A blistering 65, ably supported by Toon Hintzen with an intelligent 19 (partnership of 86), brought VRA back into contention. Even after attempting one lusty blow too many, Nobby left the field with the required run rate below six per over. The tail wagged its very hardest, but the run outs of Hintzen and Brown left it to numbers ten and eleven to go into the last over requiring ten runs for victory. Ed and Richo capably put bat on ball and ran their hearts out, but unfortunately were unable to find the boundary and left Ed facing the last ball needing five. Ed struck with vigour, but a top edge sent the ball straight up, to be caught by the circling vultures of VCC. VRA ended 197 all out from the last ball, and VCC took a victory which they probably deserved. A large number of the Zami 2 side then departed to watch the England vs. USA game that night, but somehow my memory completely escapes me as to what happened in that particular fixture…. §
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FRIENDLIES 2010
MANCHESTER UNI
Friday June 18, 2010
by Johnny Richardson
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The Boat Race
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MANCHESTER UNI, Friday 18 June 2010
MU 200 / VRA 201 What a great day for touring cricket. And toy megaphones. Tim Ellerton has finally found his true bliss in life with some marvelous 12th Man-esque commentary. And what a great bunch of lads to take the mickey out of. Manchester University CC are certainly going to remember this one. Let’s start with the biggest memory of a fine day’s cricket, Peter Borren’s five sixes in a row from the bowling off their captain and certifiably good egg, the young Mr S. Hillman. For his sixth ball he bizarrely decided to throw a left-handed, googly spinney thingy, which Borren failed to make contact with. The reaction from their scorer Mr Brookman just about summed it up:
“Oh my God I think I’ve just wet myself...” or something like that.
The Manchester Uni to VRA Boat Race.
Another amusing incident in a day full of them, was when a dog came on to the pitch and stole the ball from bowler Johnny ‘Richo’ Richardson and ran around the ground for a good 10 minutes, taking bite marks and pouring saliva over the trembling ball.
Eventually Toon “the dog whisperer” Hintzen calmed the beast down Eventually Toon “the dog whisperer” Hintzen calmed the beast down with a fake but effective attempt at pretending to be dog food. Despite three early wickets from both Peter Borren and Anthony Lynch, and tidy bowling support from Johnny Richardson, Sebastiaan Capel, Keith Ferrett and Steven Lubbers the visiting side posted a spirited 200 runs in 30 overs. VRA had a secret weapon up their sleeve, however, in the name of Huib ‘Heineken’ Beir. Like a grinning Cheshire cat, he unsheathed his new feather-like Excalibur and went to the stumps like a man who had previously had a bat carved Page
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Borren hits five sixes in a row out of railway sleeper. Wielding his new toy he whacked a number of fours. In the end we all decided to have a bat and with the help of numerous sixes from Tim Ellerton and Peter Borren (including his five in a row) we managed to squeeze past the young ones with 201 runs. Organiser extraordinaire Matt McKeogh took the Manchester Uni club tie as a memento and then you would think that was that. But no. Out came a highly powered green water pistol full of Absinthe or some such lethal liquid. Without batting an eyelid Tim Ellerton pushed his way to the front of the queue and was rewarded with a gob full of French rocket fuel. Then some bright spark suggested the two lethal words ‘Boat Race’. Briefly, five lines of five beer drinkers have to take it in turns to down a pint. Then put the empty vessel on their head and sit down. Then it’s the turn of the person behind them. The first team to sit down wins. I believe this was Mr S. Hillman’s team. So well done chaps. We’re not sure what happened next, but the words run, streak, red and light are involved I do believe. The cricket day ended with a T20 game on the main ground and a handsome win for VRA 1 against United. Then the evening started with a fine BBQ from the Cigar Man. The extra flavouring of Havana on my rare rump steak made my eyes water with joy as it hit me that the good old days are back with a culinary vengeance. Then England tried to play football. A brilliant headline from the Sun newspaper the next day: Roo-Boo-Zela. That’s it, I’m supporting North Korea from now on.§
By Johnny Richardson
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ZAMI 1 REPORT, Saturday 19 June 2010
VRA Zami 1 - Kampong Zami 1 VRA Zami 1 lost by 39 runs
VRA Zami 1 129 ao - Kampong 166 ao by Paul Baecke The weather gods decided that last week’s match report was a bit flippant about ‘typical Dutch weather’ and decided to unleash a typical Dutch day on Utrecht. Wind and light rain were briefly interrupted by short spells of sunshine, but this did not dampen spirits much, even though we had to meet at Wildschut at the crack dawn so ‘Oranje’ could fit in a game of football. The Zamis fielded first, minus Maarten Slagter who decided to save his energy to open the batting (although this might also have been due to the effects of spending quality time with a couple of bottles of rosé). Jeroen SOS Mulder and Bantwal Swaroop, wearing fetching green pull-over in honour of England holding the mighty Les Fennecs (the Algerian national football team) to an unexpected draw, opened the bowling, keeping the run-rate in check and taking wickets at regular intervals. Luke Brown (4-16), who was the pick of the bowlers, and Paul McPhillimy impressed as the first-change bowlers. After 19 overs Kampong were reeling at 77/7. Nick Fowler, Julian Molenaar and Paul Baecke all contributed with decent spells, each taking a wicket. However, Kampong managed to fight back and ended up with a respectable total of 166.We went into a splendid lunch with pancakes, burgers and scrambled eggs and watched Holland grind to victory against Japan (no sushi was served or made).
After a 2 hour break we headed back to the field, feeling confident that the total would be achievable.Maarten Slagter, having sufficiently recovered, and Louis Collignon opened the batting against Kampong’s opening bowlers, who bowled spectacular opening spells, consistently bowling on or just outside off, while swinging it about. Maarten and Louis managed to hang on for an opening partnership of 26 off 9 overs. However, three wickets fell in quick succession before Nick Fowler and Michiel Blokland came to the crease and managed to consolidate the innings, picking up runs where they could. In the 19th Nick was bowled, and after this Kampong managed to pick up wickets at regular intervals. Even a cameo innings by Paul McPhillimy, top scorer with a quick 29, could not rescue the runchase and the Zamis eventually folded for 127, never having looked like being able to reach the total against a spirited and disciplined Kampong bowling attack. Special credit must go to the Kampong keeper, who managed four catches and a stumping on his keeping debut. § Page
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ZAMI 2 REPORT, Saturday 3 July 2010
VRA Zami 2 - HCC Zami 1 Rained off
by Huib Bier Saturday the third of July wasn’t exactly a day our Zami player’s will remember as a unforgettable Zami experience. It actually started and finished in a manner most of us quickly want to forget. We started our day at café Wildschut were most of us arrived with a nice little hangover from the celebrations the day before (Were the Dutch soccer team reached the semi-finals), and very quietly with a nice cup of coffee captain Bob-Jan Spits came to the conclusion we actually were player’s short. To be precise we were two players short for the game against HCC, a rival who you would like to play your strongest eleven. After a lot of phone calls eventually Toon could join us towards The Hague, many thanks to Peter van Gullik and Paul Polak who now had to deal with the ground at VRA without Toon. When we got to the ground it had already started to get cloudy and a quick look at buienradar revealed we had an unfortunate chance we might not be able to finish the game. The captains tossed, and the HCC captain won and decided to field first. Floris and Rimmo (Louis) opened our batting and the game started well with a nice first over going for 16 (were Rimmo scored two nice fours, pulling of the back foot). Rimmo was dismissed within about ten overs by an English fast bowling pro The Hague flew in for this important Zami match. Before Floris had already been caught after hitting a hard straight-one by the Midd-off. The dismissal of Floris brought Huib Heineken to the crease, who after
scoring an very nice four, was the next victim of this vicious English professional. Bob-Jan as a number 5 bat also didn’t last long out there and in the mean time Paul Mc Phillimy our substitute player from the Zami one’s was building on his score. Accompanied by Toon Hintzen we finally were looking at a partnership. It already started to drizzle, and after a couple overs in the rain we decided we had to go off. After a nice early lunch it was time to get in again, however unfortunately the time on the field didn’t last long. HCC did manage to get the wicket of Toon, who scored an excellent 20, which gave a couple of balls to Ruud Gullit (A.k.a. Tim “Mister Heineken” Ellerton), but unfortunate it wasn’t enough time for Tim to show his real talent. Paul was set to score a big one, and unfortunately for him the game was cancelled when he was already 39 no. Hopefully next time we well have a complete team playing HCC and a more beautiful day. §
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ZAMI 1 REPORT, Saturday 3 July 2010
VRA Zami 1 - Rood en Wit Zami 1 VRA Zami 1 lost by 7 wickets
“WE WERE RUBBISH” by Theo Lindemann
I
could sum it up in a short sentence: WE WERE RUBBISH! Apologies to the Haarlem boys. But that won’t fill a How’s That and our annual books so let’s go into the more unfortunate happenings of what seemed a fairly average Saturday early July when we drove to Haarlem. We arrived on a fairly sunny ground on that fairly average Saturday for a nice match against R&W. A fairly good team and with whom we normally have fairly exciting matches. But today was different. It started out with the strange sensation of showing up with just 10 able men. It appeared that Swaroop Bantwal was indisposed by an unknown strain of virus which is already labeled the quarterfinalorange-pneumonia. So 10 we were and still full of enthusiasm, inspired by our dear, brave and fresh behind the ears captain Willem van Mierlo. Who after reaching chapter five of his how to be a captain book finally won a toss and elected to bat. A wise thing to do considering the late afternoon shower predictions. Rain with some nice thunder&lightning would have been the only that could have saved us from humiliation. What is there to say; 3 ducks of Luke, Julian and Agent. 2,4,5,6 and an 8 by Niek, Michiel, myself, Maarten and Willem in that order are hardly worth mentioning. But at least we had to reach double figures. Our two masters of composure and determination were there to lead us the way to …. Total Collapse. Louis and fellow opener Mike reach double figures with 10 runs. There was a little hope at the end of the innings when we were able to enlist a fine gentleman astray in the Harlem area, our dear friend Benno van Nierop, who was willing to give up his fatherly duty of seeing his son playing a champions match of tennis at the neighbouring tennis club and padded up to be our #11. And so he was with 0 n.o. facing, I think, no more than 3 balls. In less than 1 hour we were having tea. After some serious pep talking, whipping and psychic torture by Willem we were ready to display some first class bowling&fielding and I must say that was much better than the batting. We lacked our
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ZAMI 1 REPORT, Saturday 3 July 2010
Guys, sometimes you need a wider perspective on a when writing the report than the Sunday morning. So don’t see this as a feeble excuse for just being late.
main attack through some dodgy car deals and holiday obligations and we knew we therefore lacked some serious pace bowling and warnelike spinning. Luke started well and we bowled out their openers encouragingly quick, but we were not able to force a total collapse on them as had done to us. Even our most experienced player Mike got a wicket. All clean bowled so nothing really worth mentioning of the fielding party, but that we much more focused than with batting. There is hope for the return match. Within 14 overs they reached our abysmal total and we were finished off and ready to see germany vs argentina (two of our most favorite football nations since ’74 and ’78). Oh what a fine day of cricket this was. We were quite impressed by the Harlem bowling attack. A fine set of young and younger pace bowling which baffled our off day lads totally. And even if the relationship between Harlem and Amsterdam, which had its difficult moments since the Golden Age due to the jealousy of the success of Amsterdam, have never been so good as today. Knowing the R&W boys they will appear at the Amsterdam gates fully armed and charged. We therefore appeal to our selectors to do some really serious reverse cars swaps on a Morgan Stanley level. And guys I think we need an obligatory batting practice before our next match on 17th of July. They will be fully charged let’s not be surprised again.. §
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d r a Aw
he t f ng ro i e t n por Win e r ket c i cr c i en g o n uci
F y rr
e b w ra
Stor Hall
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Queens College Crocodiles by In-Sanne Solamons
A hot Saturday, a nest of crocodylidae was drawing heat from
the sun in the grass of the second pitch. Like other archosaurs, crocodilians are diapsid, although their post-temporal fenestrae are reduced. The walls of the braincase are bony but they lack supratemporal and postfrontal bones this will not influence their intelligence ratio to brain-weight. Their tongues are not free, but held in place by a membrane which limits movement; as a result, crocodiles will not stick out Page
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Cricket Club
VRA Zami 2 - Crocs VRA Zami 2 won 9 July 2010
their tongues. Although they sometimes should. The night before, Zamigos thought to seek game with these crocodilian and sought to win or draw but had to accept a well orchestrated tie. And since crocodiles have a palatal flap, a rigid tissue at the back of the mouth that blocks the entry of liquids other then lager, the quaffing was good with the previous dusk. So the QCCCC were well fed and fully rehydrated for the coming herd crossing their path.>> Page 49
CROCS 1
A
nthony Lynch was set to win this day. As captain of many a British team and gameseeker of reptilians Nobby chose to lead the Mokum-men to bat. A total of around 200 was needed to lure the sharp-toothed crocodilian sun-baskers. Crocodiles are very fast over short distances, even out of water. But do prefer an easy catch when moving. >>
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ZAMI 2
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THE CROCS REPORT, Saturday 15 Aug 2009
crocodylidae
Huib Bier was a gnarly tough chew for the late cretaceous animals and was cast out with the tea to keep speed and concentration for younger flesh to be minced.
Batting of the Zami Daktari-squad was stale at first, Crocodiles are ambush hunters, waiting for fish or land animals to come close, then rushing out to attack. As cold-blooded predators, they have a very slow metabolism, and thus can survive long periods without food. Yet heat humidity and time were no friend to the Striking Zami team. Despite their appearance of being slow, crocodiles are top predators in their environment, and various species have been observed attacking
and killing even great white sharks. The grey batsmen fell to the iron grip of the the reptilian bite with ease. Only a few managed to fail the notice of these ancient predators. Such were Esther de Lange, who as Queen of Dots remained alive by not putting any attention to her. And Luke Brown (African) who was refrained by typical colonial envy of his Senior to achieve a fifty in good health. Crocodilians can produce sounds in aggressive displays. Louis Rimmington,
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Joost Dekkers and Tim Ellerton are still plagued by nightmares since falling to the 340 atmosphere bite per inch, preceded by their growl. When Zami II fled in declaration to the pavilion the Crocodiles were given a chance to stray from the sun and await their prey in the shrub and brook besides the pitch. Huib Bier was a gnarly tough chew for the late cretaceous animals and was cast out with the tea to keep speed and concentration for younger flesh to be minced. Zami II tried audible taunts first when returning to the site just vacated by the crocodrillus. Prudently expecting the non-lizards to be still in the vicinity, be it less visually detectable. Crocodilian scales have pores that are believed to be sensory, analogous to the lateral line in fishes. They are particularly seen on their upper and lower jaws. Another possibility is that they are secretory, as they produce an oily substance that appears to flush sledgings and bullshit off. An opening for the Alpha Crocs was whisked with the big meaty tails through the shrub and savanna like grass, followed by the oldest then migratory types accepted to this particular group, it seemed organized to some extend, the youngest of them last to come into the open. Being deviated from their goal the camouflage spotted handbags frantically lashed out with their beaks* (ie Crocodiles are more closely related to birds and dinosaurs than to most animals classified as reptiles) to the decoy red leather balls and failed to asses their untimely and now inevitable demise. The Zami II triumphed over the Crocodiles. Few of the Shark defying reptiles are thought to have survived but will most certainly not be spotted near these pools this season. Crocodiles may possess a form of homing instinct and are likely to be back at their nests and conservation farms.§ Chaussure à Talon By In-Sanne Salamada
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ZAMI 1 REPORT, Saturday 17 July 2010
VRA Zami 1 - Rood en Wit Zami 1 VRA Zami 1 won by 0 runs by Mike Rier
S
aturday July 17 I played my first ZAMI game of the season and have duly been presented with the duty/honour of writing the match report. I don’t have any scores here, so it will be off the top of my head, but that shouldn’t spoil the fun. Arriving late myself due to early morning hospital work, I found we had started batting when I got there. Each of my teammates and also Floris Kapelle had informed me about 23 times each about how we got bowled out for 66 against R&W in the away game, so it was important to put up a good showing. Mike George opened the batting with Louis Collignon and answered the call, hitting hard when given width and defending stoutly when the stumps were attacked. After a pretty solid opening Louis was the first to go, and I then joined Mike. We solidly continued, and I think we must have been at around 75/1 after about 18 overs when I hang my bat out to be caught in the gully. Mike George unfortunately got out soon after, narrowly missing out on a well-deserved 50. The middle-order had a few hiccups; SOS was run-out after a not so well judged call from Maarten Slagter and Jan-Philip Korthals Altes, returning to the game after quite a while, went LBW early on as well. However, Nick Fowler came in and middled it from the start and Maarten made up for his bad call with a well-paced 30-odd, including an effortless six over mid wicket. Their partnership was key in making sure the effort from the top order wasn’t wasted. The lower order then swung at the end, sometimes missing and sometimes connecting. Eventually we finished our 35 overs at 177. Both our opening bowlers then wanted to prove a point. Jeroen SOS Mulder wanted to make up for getting out early, so he clean bowled their opening batsman in the first over with a beautiful late inswinger. Mike George opened up from the other end with a 5-over spell. I would like to joke that his point to prove was something age-related, but he proved a wicket-taking option as well, as the other opener swung at a wide one and Theo Lindeman behind the stumps took a blinder. The slow bowlers then came into operation (it seemed like we had about 5 off-spinners) and all kept it relatively tight, Jan-Philip Korthals Altes doing the best job finishing with 1/19 of his 7 overs and Niek Bertholet also bowling well taking 1/9 of 3. However, once they were 4 down the two batsmen that were in knuckled down, picking off the runs where they could and making sure not to lose anymore wickets while inching towards the target. The required rate hovered around 6-7 an over and captain Willem van Mierlo, having taken a pretty good catch in the field, now also had to put his mind into gear with some shrewd field-placings, as not only saving boundaries but also stopping ones from being turned into twos became essential. To his credit he did this really well, as the boundaries were hard to come by with the likes of Sanne Salomons enthusiastically running around the boundary and, also maybe due to a bit of fatigue from the batsmen, just running wasn’t enough for them. The run-rate crept up as we tightened the screws and R&W, try as they might, couldn’t make it. SOS finally took the 5th wicket in the last over of the innings, finishing with 2/41 of his 7 overs. The two R&W batsmen had both played well and made fifties, but eventually their innings ended at 160 after 35 overs and we had our revenge after the 66 all out thing. Beers, bitterballen and Kapelle points were good afterwards at the terrace as usual, and another good ZAMI night ended at 1890 for the diehards among us. §
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ZAMI 1 REPORT, Saturday 17 July 2010
VRA Zami 2 - Groen Geel VRA Zami 2 won by 0 runs by Louis Rimmington
V
RA welcomed Groen Geel to the second pitch as strong but fitful winds drove patchy clouds and the hint of drizzle that threatened to stamp their unwelcome mark upon the day’s play. Fortunately, early concerns were mere paranoia and the game went off without a hitch.
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ZAMI 2 REPORT, Saturday 13 June 2010
Zami 2 captain, Nobby Lynch, won the toss and elected to bat, espousing his masterplan to smash 300 and bowl them out for nothing. As opening pair Joost “Double” Dekkers and Floris “Great Cricktator” Kappelle got into their stride, it appeared Nobby would not be far from the mark. In the face of an infuriating lack of pace from the Groen Geel bowlers, Dekkers and Kappelle wielded their blades like the most expert of swordsmen; deftly piercing gaps with precision and grace, and hewing with great strength when the opportunity presented itself. When Joost fell in the 13th over for 24, VRA were well placed at 86-1, whilst his partner (and lover?) Floris was 46* and going strongly. Joined by Louis Rimmington, Floris abandoned his previously imperious strokeplay and scampered the four remaining singles to take him to a well deserved half century.
It was around this stage, as the VRA innings rumbled along apace, that the wheels came well and truly off!
There was a dreadful clatter of wickets as Kappelle (52), Rimmington (14) and Lynch (7) all found themselves in the shed, forlornly contemplating a succession of rash shots and general ineptitude. Salvation soon arrived in the form of the Queen of the Desert, Luke “Priscilla” Brown. Fresh from hunting elephant on the African savannah, the Zimbabwean’s eye was well and truly in! Ably supported by Huib Bier (15) and Marnix Hazeweijer (15) (and less-than-ably so by Julian Molenaar (2) and Thijs van Nierop (1), whose brief partnership resembled a Benny Hill sketch), Luke’s combination of full-blooded drives and merciless treatment of the short ball guided VRA to a decent total of 227-7, and Luke himself to his VRA-maiden half-century (52). Special attention deserves to be drawn to two Groen Geel performances, first that of J. Wissik (5-33), who managed to take four catches in the innings (three of them off his own bowling!); and also seventy year old J. ter Marsch, who contrived to bowl so slowly that a total of 9 (NINE!) deliveries – part of one 16-ball over – were declared no-balls for failing to reach the batsman’s end! Tea was gratefully received by all, and VRA took the field determined to defend their total and avenge this season’s earlier defeat at Groen Geel’s hands. The hostile twosome of Lynch and Brown (4-1-7-0) opened the attack and bowled with their usual aggression, but were unable to break the deadlock until Dekkers, at square leg, and reluctant keeper Rimmington combined for a sharp run-out in the 9th over. However, this presented VRA with more of a problem than a solution, as it brought N. ter Marsch to the crease at number three. Ter Marsch struck three mighty sixes in a belligerently counter-attacking 65, and for a time threatened to put Groen Geel firmly back into the game. However, with leg-spinner Edward Jameson (7-0-47-2) firmly in his sights he attempted to heave yet another ball well beyond the ropes… but a lonely figure took flight… Anthony “Nobby” Lynch, captain and inspiration, ran fully 25 metres to his right and took a blinding catch even as the ball seemed destined to nestle amongst the surrounding hedgerows. The celebrations were long and joyful. With the main danger man removed, VRA’s victory was all but assured. Useful overs from van Nierop (4-0-25-0) and Richardson (1-0-14-1) accompanied a superbly controlled spell from Hazeweijer (7-0-20-0), and there remained only the formality of putting the game to bed. A two over burst from Nobby (4-0-14-3) brought three wickets, and Joost (3-0-11-4) rattled through the rest… including eight year old D. Smulders, who Joost vehemently insisted still counted as a scalp! Groen Geel were all out for 143, giving Zami 2 a winning margin of 84 runs. As we left the field we witnessed the Zami 1s also triumphing on the main pitch, and so a good night culminating much later at Café 1890 - was had by all. §
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ZAMI 2 REPORT, Saturday 13 June 2010
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ZAMI 1 REPORT, Saturday 24 June 2010
VRA Zami 1 - VCC Zami 1 VRA Zami 1 won by 0 runs
by Nick Fowler
B
usiness was not quite as usual this week as many Zamis had departed for the Devon tour. No one seemed to know who was actually on tour and who was just sleeping in as we tried to figure out why we only had seven players by 1pm. After much player list examination, discussion, phone calling and texting, we cobbled together a mélange of Zami 1s, Zami 2s, and even called Ed van Nierop out of retirement to make up a team of ten. Captain Phil Yisrael won the toss and put Zami 1 into bat. VCC had a quick fielding warm up that was enthusiastically joined by one VCC member’s ever-present dog that resembled a small and excessively salivating shire horse. New daddies Louis Collignon and Jeroen Agent Mulder opened for Zami 1 as the sun shone brilliantly, which it continued to do all day. All aglow from the birth of Lauren two weeks ago, Agent hit a nice boundary but was then bowled for four. Paul McPhillimy scored a single before falling LBW minutes later. Paul later said that he thought LBFL would be a better descriptor (Leg Before Fine Leg). Moments later Louis C. was also out for three as he tried to hook a short ball. He completed his shot a good two seconds before the ball came through to hit his stumps. This left Zami 1 in a less than optimal situation in the third over. Fortunately the game then took a different turn as Phil Yisrael and Nick Fowler built a partnership that became the bedrock of the Zami 1 innings. We all know that Phil likes to talk, and this is particularly the case when you’re batting with him. Coaching, match analysis and encouraging comments always flow freely whether you want them to or not, not just after every over but pretty much every time you cross for a run. I knew things were going well when the encouraging (‘be positive Nicky… be in the right frame of mind’) gave way to the complimentary (‘I wish I could hook a ball like that…You’re batting like Don Bradman today…’). After adding ten runs an over for eleven consecutive overs the partnership was broken as Fowler (48) was bowled by a perfect Mark Nota off break. Things were looking better for Zami 1 at 130-something for 4 after 15 overs. Ed van Nierop continued where Fowler had left off. By his standards he got off to a slow start, understandable as he hadn’t played cricket for two years. But inevitably, the cautious singles soon gave way to the swashbuckling boundary-hitting that we come to expect from Ed. One minute he was in single figures, next minute he was on fifty. By the time he was out for 62 VCC was using their third ball of the innings, the other two having been lost in the neighboring Amsterdamse Bos thanks to Ed’s sixes. Meanwhile, Phil just kept going and going and in the thirty second over he reached a hundred for the first time in his VRA career. Congratulations Phil, it was a masterful innings from a masterful batsman. Phil retired the minute he made his century. Louis Rimmington swung and missed as he tried to add quick runs in the last remaining few balls. Mike George (5 not out) and Thijs van Nierop (3 not out) added useful runs in the last two overs. Zami 1’s total was 275 after 35
Five hundred and twenty eight runs. Not bad for an afternoon’s cricket!
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ZAMI 1 REPORT, Saturday 24 June 2010
overs. Tea was notable for two reasons: first for the many cakes courtesy of the Agent Mulders (thanks!) in celebration of their new daughter; second, for the ever present mini-shire horse dog that slobbered around every player in the hope of getting some of those cakes. With a vast mountain of runs to climb, VCC wasted no time. A purposeful mix of quick running and punishing boundaries from loose balls delivered a run rate of eight an over. Luke Brown, called up at the last minute to substitute for Tim No-Show Ellerton, bowled well but without reward in his opening spell, and at least a couple of catches were dropped off his bowling. Paul McPhillimy’s opened at the other end, but also without reward. The first wicket came from a classic Fowler Howler as VCC’s opener top-edged a horrible full toss that was heading for deep fine leg. A second wicket also came from Fowler in the following over: the batsman was so surprised to see the ball pitch that he failed to play it and was out LBW. Phil was much tighter at the other end and while VCC runs kept coming, he managed to keep the pressure on. Louis Collignon took over from the grenade lobbing Fowler, and then Thijs van Nierop came on at the other end to clean bowl Mark Nota (59) who was looking increasingly dangerous. Thijs almost caught and bowled the equally dangerous Molenbuur twice in consecutive balls, but the force of the straight drives was a little too much. Consequently Molenbuur supported by Cousins continued to score roughly 8 an over through a combination of efficient running and impressive boundary hitting. Phil rotated the bowling partners more frequently than mid-Western square dancers. Paul McPhillimy achieved the critical breakthrough as Molenbuur was superbly caught by Phil running full speed at deep long off. Despite capable batsmen down the VCC order, none looked quite as likely to get the required ten or so per over as those that had now been dispatched. As the 35 over mark approached, the target slipped steadily out of VCC’s reach, and despite persistent scoring and a well earned wicket from Luke and another from Paul, VCC finished 22 runs short of the target, albeit with a very impressive total of 253. Five hundred and twenty eight runs – not bad for an afternoon’s cricket! §
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ZAMI 2 REPORT, Saturday 7 Aug 2010
VRA Zami 2 - Rood en Wit Zami 1 VVRA Zami 2 won by 6 wickets
VRA Zami Two and the Red and White Phoenix by Ruurt Schreuder
D
uring the car-journey to the Amsterdam Woods, accompanied by messieurs Bier and Dekkers, the weather looked to be more and more English. Arriving at VRA it turned out to be cloudy and sometimes drizzly, again proving August to be the wettest month of the year. Our opponent Rood and Wit Zami were already at the pavilion in big numbers because it was going to be their last two matches, the last matches for this team that had been playing cricket together for almost twenty years. Matches? Yes, because of something that happened earlier in the season, something to do with some e-mails, we were planning to play two twenty-twenties. Eventually, because of the weather, it only would be one fiercely fought battle of these two ZAMI Classic teams. The First Innings: The Rood and Wit Batting innings revolved mainly around their Batsman from the Sky, T. Crowlesmith scoring 76 runs before being dismissed by Our Bowler from Outer Space, Anthony Lynch aka Knobby the Lubester, also captaining. The only other Rood and Wit batsmen hitting double figures was, ... wait for it ... another Crowlesmith, J. scoring 16 runs. And of course extras again scored twentysomething, making a total for Rood and Wit of 144 for 7 in 20. Of the VRA bowlers Anthony Lynch - 2 for 28 in 4, Luke Brown - 1 for 17 in 4 did well. Thijs van Nierop had a lot of bad luck being smashed around a bit by T. Crowlesmith, but succeeded bowling their Real Danger Man A. Loeb for 2, ergo 1 for 28 in 2. Leon Turmaine - 2 for 16 in 2, earned a - VRA Space Administration - Silver Snoopy Award Sticker. Catches were made, by Luke Brown, Piotr Pasierowski - the Polish Pastry, and Huib Bier. The second innings: During the Rood and Wit bowling innings, their bowlers, made a lot of fuss about their last deliveries of their careers, or so they thought...Bowling well were A. Barents - 2 for 23 in 3, S. Hazevoet - 1 for 18 in 2 and J.H. Klimbie 1 for 34 in 4. The VRA batsmen were not impressed though, steadily scoring runs. Leon Turmaine, again did very well as opening bat, scoring 76 not out, earning again a - VRASA - Silver Snoopy Award Sticker. Leon the Lion was more or less supported by Louis Rimmington - 11, Thomas Spits - 19, Huib Bier - 4, Joost Dekkers - 5 and The Goose, Philip Deelen - 15 not out. They all propelled VRA to the close win it - eventually - was: 147 for 4 in 19.5.
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ZAMI 2 REPORT, Saturday 7 Aug 2010
And not to forget The Third Innings: A lot of beers, Speeches, lovely Rood and Wit women, Speeches, adorable Rood and Wit children, Speeches, excellent dinner prepared by Jessie and Otto ‘Risotto’ Storm van ‘s Gravesande, Speeches, at least five Crowlesmiths spread over three generations, Speeches, Sanne ‘my other job is in Security’ Salomons as our broad grinning barkeeper, Speeches, Floris Kappelle saying something, Speeches, Toon Hintzen, ‘ik ben een uurtje later, ... maar ook weer een uurtje eerder weg’, singing yet another VRA Anthem, trying to persuade some Rood and Wit Gentlemen to come and play for VRA, captained by him, and him only, not LZFK. Speeches, Lord Treasurer Theo Lindemann, making an offer for the Rood and Wit estate, Speeches, ... and of course one corny and one indescribable joke from our own Joker, Smoker, Huib ‘Heineken’ Bier. But Martini - Any Time, Any Place, Anywhere - during all this commotion it was decided that this Rood and Wit team will resurrect from its own ashes once a year to play VRA Zami in the Woods for the Frans Hals Cup. Why Frans Hals? Who knows, probably something to do with a bad wager. §
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ZAMI 1 REPORT, Saturday 14 Aug 2010
VRA Zami 1 - Groen Geel VRA Zami 1 won by 5 wickets
by Leon Turmaine
I
t was set to be a good day of cricket at VRA. Both ZAMI teams were playing at home and (once again) ZAMI 1 was playing on the second ground. Captain Louis Collignon strode over the wet field to the wicket where he unfortunetly lost the toss and ZAMI 1 were put in to bowl. Opening up the bowling for us, were Jeroen Mulder (6-1-15-1) and Paul Mcphilimy (7- 1-32-3). With Jeroen bowling straight and very accurately and Paul bowling bananas past the outside edge. We were off to a good start, Theo Lindemann had already taken one of their batsman caught behind off Jeroen and they didn’t have many runs on the board. Then came on the containing spinners, Leon Turmaine (7-0-17-1) and Willem van Mierlo (4-0-21-1). The other bowlers then also chipped in with some very usefull overs to leave GroenGeel on 171-6 after 35 overs. A job well done! After lunch, Louis Collignon and Mike George opened the batting facing bowling which required a degree of patience. Which they had. All was going very well at 65-0 untill Louis got given out LBW on 20. Leon was in next. After two overs he managed to run Mike (30 runs) out and give his own wicket away cheaply. Suddenly we were 75-3 and slightly more nervous. There was no need to worry though, Phil Yisrael and Sander Kempen were on the case and batted beautifuly with Sander hitting three huge sixes over the sloot. With about thirty runs to go Phil (29) retired so the others could finish it off, after which Sander got a top edge which landed straight in points lap. Nine short of his first fifty, but definetly a match winning innings. Then Michiel Blokland and Julian Molenaar finished the job off very professionaly and calmly with Michiel scoring 13 NO and Julian 10 NO. A great day of cricket. Well batted Sander. §
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DEBBY |
A beautiful hotel on the sea-front in Torquay. Sunshine, a 9th century promenade, and a glorious sandy beach. Tranquillity itself. And then our rabble arrived. So to give you a flavour of what happened I thought I’d publish just a few of the many crimes / fines perpetrated by the most criminal of the bunch. Can’t publish the names of course. Well not the surnames anyway. If you do manage to work out who they are purely from their forenames then that’s just guesswork. I can’t be blamed for that. And anyway, if they can’t do the time, don’t do the crime:-
by Mike George
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DOES DEVON
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For taking us all I’ve not been as moved by an historic m
ENGLISH RIVERIA (Devon, UK) July 24 - Aug 1, 2010 Totters Castle
Luc. Going to a gay bar – and enjoying it!
Piotr. Losing to a woman in a drinking contest. Well it was in the gay bar, so I guess perhaps she wasn’t 100% female. Nevertheless……Willem. Squealing that the bowling was too fast. Mike. Sending a woman off to Floris’ room so she could gain “official” permission to join the tour - at 4 o’clock in the morning. He won’t mind! Sanne. Hiring a driver who only knew how to get anywhere by following the bus route – indeed often only by following the bus itself! >> Page
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to Totters Castle monument since I entered my first Febo
S E N I F E H T Page 67
Jacob. For taking us all to Totters Castle. I’ve not been as moved by an historic monument since I entered my first Febo. Floris. Claiming to be an English history buff who knew that the nickname of King Edward I was Scissorhands. It’s actually Longshanks. I guess he got confused with Great King Freddy I. Maarten. Failing to thank, or even acknowledge, the dear hotel guest whose incredible psychic powers managed to
locate his missing black kit bag (which admittedly did somewhat more than resemble the bin-liner the barman had just put out for collection). I think from the above you can probably guess that English heritage and drink (often one and the same thing) once again played their significant parts on our tour. There was some cricket as well though. Needless to say in this respect the Devon tour closely mirrored all our previous escapades.
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6 matches. 6 losses. We even managed to lose one match when the opposition only turned up with 5 men. Unfortunately we lent them 4 of our most traitorous players, so at least some of our party managed to taste the sweet success of victory. The rest of us - who of course didn’t speak to the 4 traitors for the remainder of the week – tried as best we were able to drown our sorrows in the evening. It certainly helped to wipe out the memory of the previous day’s drubbing, plus the memory of the evening, and in many cases most of the morning as well. It helped a lot though, since we could then come to the next match with no recollection of anything. No hang-ups about defeats. No morale problems. No form of thought at all. And that way of course
we were once again able to repeat exactly the same miserable mistakes we’d made the previous day. For VRA it was Groundhog Day. All Week. And I suspect All Years. And long may it continue! A really very enjoyable tour indeed. Thanks Sanne and Floris and Jacob and everyone else who helped make it happen.§
s six matche six losses by Mike George ( in the absence of Sander)
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Superb ZAMI 2 ‘Captain Deck Hand’ steers good ship ZAMI 2 to a decisive victory on the 2nd VRA ground.
VRA Zami 2 - VRA Zami 1 VRA Zami 2 won by 13 runs by Johnny Richardson
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Shock ZAMI 1 fect storm
ort of a per ffy cloud sh
One flu
One shrimp short of a full catch
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Memorable Moments from Zami Season, June 5, 2009
Hello sailors, it’s potato peeler Richo here and it’s Sail 2010, so I
thought I would tell you about the only two things in life that smell like fish. Before that, I just want to say that we beat them. Yes, we actually beat Zami 1. If you don’t include our first encounter when we were called Zami Lube and Zami Goose— and Mike George assures me that this was a friendly— this was our sixth and, finally, our most successful attempt at snatching victory from the ‘Jaws’ of defeat.
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It was Paul McPhilimy’s birthday and Phil Yisrael’s wife was about to give birth to number two at any moment, so perhaps their attention was not fully on the game. Lashed to the wheel of the good ship Zami 2, and barking orders at his trembling crew, our new leader ‘Captain Deck Hand’ decided to bat first. Not one to mess about, he sent out our whale hunting crew, Spits and Kappella into the calm green seas for a 40-over thriller under a grey and threatening motheaten canvas sky.
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VRA Zami 2 - VRA Zami 1 Date: 21 Aug 2010 (Sat) Format: 35 overs Location: VRA 2nd Ground Result: VRA Zami 2 won by 13 runs
T
he ‘Great Crictator’ (9 runs) stood proudly at the non-strikers end—glaring with contempt at his old enemy while his teeth swam inside their plastic protector bowl— he joined Tommy Spits (30 Runs) in blocking so many balls between them that the game started to resemble the first day in a 25-day test match. There were so many dot balls that it made the cricket book look like it had caught a rather nasty case of pirate measles. Eventually The Kap was caught and bowled by the Horizontal One, Sanne Salomons. This sent in Rimo Man, the great shark hunter himself, Louis Rimmington (46). Watched at the shore’s edge by his nervous parents as he almost reached his 50, until Zami 1 fished out their weapon of mass destruction, ‘The Howler’. Who soon made whale blubber out of the trembling young Rimo and sent him back to the shore to play with his sand castle. Then Captain Joost Deck Hand decided to release the terrible sea beast at his command, none other that Rens ‘The Kraken’ Mulder (39), who unleashed his full fury and cracked a torrent of sixes in every direction in his short but effective few overs.
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Eventually caught and bowled by The Howler. Then a strange calm beset the green waters as JJ (21) floated out like a sea mist. Could he be the one to free our souls from eternal loss to Zami 1? Suddenly the waves broke and up from the murky depths— where even Davy Jones dare not venture— and up rose the frightening, giant Octopussy arms of Paul ‘B’day Boy’ McPhilimy. And what a sight: a beer in one hand and a fag in the other, amusing tubular alcohol equipment in one hand and a tripod in the other, a camera in one hand and a Kookaburra in the other and sent Zen Master JJ (21) home with LBW tattooed on his knee caps. You would think Tim Ellerton(18), having seen this, would run a mile. But he’s made of sterner stuff and went out and hid in plain sight dressed as a mermaid wearing a silly white hat. And very effective it was too, until he was also bowled by Octopussy. Marnix ‘Master Bates’ Hazeweijer (3) would like to know why he was sent out to bat in these dangerous conditions when it was obvious to anyone watching that Theo ‘the pink handed giant shrimp’ Lindemann would whip off his bails the first opportunity he got from the bowling off Captain Mierlo? Which he did.
Captain Joost Deck Hand(8) and Toon ‘The Statue Fish’ Hintzen(6) took the Not Out award and were given 10 lashes each for showing off. Thanks to a generous donation of 40 extras from the enemy, we surfed home with a very defendable 221 runs. There are some who think he’s one shrimp short of a full catch, who think his sails do not quite fly at full mast, who think he’s one fluffy cloud short of a perfect storm, and true to character Captain Joost Deck Hand (6,1,37,0) decided to risk it all and bowl himself first. The crazy bald seagull decided
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to prove years of cricket experience and wisdom wrong and start with his loopy semi-spin canon ball attack, which was knocked for fours around the green pond with ease and abandon. But the risk
rfect storm
pe d short of a u lo c y ff u fl One
One shrimp short of a full catch paid off because he captained and steered his side to victory. Therefore he was right. Which captains always are. So there. After years of training by the Zimbabwe Navy to bounce pebbles across his private lake, this pointless exercise has eventually paid dividends because boy can Luke Brown (8,1,29,2) bowl. His first scaly monster to be gutted was Mike ‘batfish’ George(40) followed soon after by the Lucy Fish (21), which was caught at deeply silly Collignon by Tim ‘white shark’ Ellerton. Octopussy was then run out and Toon ‘The Statue Fish’ Hintzen sang happy birthday as he swam lifelessly ashore. Much to his unamusement. Suddenly we caught him. The prize catch of the day. Phil ‘Sledger Fish’ Yisrael is a cunning
beast, so he was surprised to suddenly find himself flapping his tiny fins on the deck of the good ship Zami 2, caught by Luke Brown off JJ’s bowling, mouth opening and shutting involuntary and emitting no sound; the Sledger Fish had been silenced at last. The largest known living sea organism is the Blue Kempen. Spotted off the starboard bow, Captain Deck Hand brought out his secret weapon, The Rich Fish (3,0, 22,1). After a couple of warm up tosses, Johnny ‘Richo’ Richardson bowled the magic ball, and reduced the Blue One to a crumpled jellied heap on the popping crease, while The Rimo Man stumped him with effortless glee. Now expertly stuffed, with eyes replaced with bright blue marbles, The Kempen now hangs majestically in its glass case in pride of place on Captain Deck Hand’s cabin wall. Then the Howler was controversially run out, so less about this later, and Captain Mierlo was also stumped by the Rimo Man off the spinning Tommy Spit Fish (4,0,27,1). Fish Mold Mouler(6) was run out and the Pink Handed Giant Theo Shrimp(1) remained alone on the deck, not out with a total of 208 team runs behind him. Bye the way, one of them is fish an the other is Hull. § by Johnny Richardson
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ZAMI 2 REPORT, Saturday 30 Aug 2010
VRA Zami 2 - HCC Zami 1 VRA Zami 2 won by 7 wickets
by Huib Bier
Na wat gesteggel of de captain van de dag nu uit
zami 1 of 2 moest komen, hakt om 3 uur s’nachts cricktator Floris de knoop door, het betrof immers een zami 2 match, hoewel zami 2, er waren welgeteld 4 zami 2 spelers, ( shame, shame), 5 spelers uit zami 1 en Mike Rier en Leon Turmaine voor het echte batten zoals later zou blijken. Op papier om 10 uur s’ochtends 14 man, bij verzamelpunt Wildschut om 12 uur bleken dit er nog slechts 11 te zijn. Schijnt genoeg te te zijn. Aangekomen op HCC wist de captain van de dag Huib Bier de toss te winnen en besloot te batten. Overigens bestond het team van HCC uit een mix van zami 1, 2 en het zondagse 2e en 3e. Op een uitermate traag veld wist het openings paar, onze goold old Mr M. George (17), en Louis Rimmington (24)toch een goede basis te leggen voor het verdere verloop van de innings, een schitterende 57 n.o. van Mike Rier en bang om 50 te maken, Leon Turmaine met 48 mooie runs en dat op een stevige goede bowlerij van HCC. Volgens captain Bier was het mogelijk om HCC onder de 150 te houden, echter HCC begon bijzonder voortvarend met Willem Kempenaar op 1 stonden ze binnen 3 overs op 32 runs! We moesten het hoofd koel houden. Gelukkig werd er naarmate de innings vorderde steeds acurater gebowled. HCC via 98 v 5 in 19 naar 150 oa in 31 overs. Door goed bowlen van Louis C 43 v 3 in 7 en Willem van Mierlo 11v 3 in 6 overs met ook nog een fantastische running and jumping catch op de boundry op het bowlen van sir Richo (24 v 2). Ook de changes waren perfect gepland, Leon en Jeroen SOS beiden een wicket. De meeste vangen werden dit keer wel vastgehouden, oa 2 van Mike Rier. To quote sir Richo: “The captain is not only a great tactician but also a visionair considering they did not score more than 150”. The proof of the pudding is by eating it. How not a team became a team after all, zami 2 and 1, they were a team. HCC 1,2,3, were not. §
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Ranked by number of wickets
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ZAMI Fielding Statistics 2009 CLUB
LAST NAME
INITIALS
CAUGHT
STUMPED
TOTAL
VRA
Spits
BJ
7
7
14
VRA
Geenson
D
7
0
7
VRA
McPhilimy
P
6
0
6
VRA
Browning
N
5
0
5
VRA
Michaelides
P
4
0
4
VRA
Lynch
A
4
0
4
VRA
Mulder
SPJ
3
0
3
VRA
Fowler
N
3
0
3
VRA
Sobti
J
3
0
3
VRA
Lindemann
3
0
3
VRA
Yisrael
2
1
3
VRA
Kempen
2
0
2
VRA
Collignon
2
0
2
VRA
Mierlo
2
0
2
VRA
George
M
2
0
2
VRA
Dekkers
J
2
0
2
VRA
Hazeweijer
M
2
0
2
VRA
Bier
H
1
0
1
VRA
Deelen
1
0
1
VRA
Schreuder
1
0
1
VRA
Akkerman
1
0
1
VRA
Ekkers
1
0
1
VRA
Hintzen
T
1
0
1
VRA
Liyanage
R
1
0
1
P L
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0
50
100
150
200
250
300
350
ZAMI BATTING — TOTAL RUNS PER BATSMAN
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10
12
14
16
18
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ZAMI BOWLING — TOTAL WICKERS PER BOWLER
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Bertholet
Browning
Richardson
Bantwal
T. Spits Slagter
Collignon
Lynch
Salomons Deelen Kempen Ellerton
Agent Mulder
Baecke
Brown
Dekkers
George
Van Mierlo
SOS Mulder
Fowler
McPhilimy
Rens Mulder
Yisrael
Sobti
Turmaine
ZAMI ALL ROUND PERFORMANCE: WICKETS v BATTING AVERAGE
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