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MAT-SU VALLEY
TM
*** VOLUME 1 , EDITION # 0 LOOSE PARTS
by DAVE BLAZEK
2013-2014 RATE GUIDE *** HAVE A LAUGH ON US! OFF THE MARK
by MARK PARISI
SPECTICKLES
by BILL ABBOTT
©2012 Bill Abbott / Distributed by InkBottleSyndicate.com
AD 1 FRONT-COVER* 10M OPEN RATE: $360 9.85” X 3.25” = 32.01 Sq. In. FULL-COLOR PREPAID RATES: 4X-$275 8X-$259 12X-$243 *PREMIUM PLACEMENT AD
(Front-Cover, Inside Front-Cover, Center-Page, Inside Back-Cover & Back-Page)
Mat-Su Valley’s Monthly Humor Paper! Your Local Source for Comics, Word Games, Puzzles, Humor Columns and More! To Advertise, email: funnies.matsu@gmail.com
CHUCKLE BROS by BRIAN & RON BOYCHUK
by BRAD DILLER © Copyright B&L Capital / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
FUNDAYMORNING.com
CAPTION CONTEST
Send your best caption to: submissions@funnies-extra.com and type “Caption Contest” in the subject line. The winning captions will be published online with the winner’s name, age, city and state with permission. (Void where prohibited.)
“everything was going great... then my better half walked out.”
DON’T FORGET TO INCLUDE YOUR NAME AND INFO!
Winners Posted Online at: www.funnies-extra.com/contests
AD 2 FULL-SIZE AD* 1 AD 10M OPEN RATE: $514 9.85” X 5.75” = 56.64 Sq. In. FULL-COLOR PREPAID RATES: 4X-$393 8X-$370 12X-$347
AD 2A, 2B 1/2 SIZE AD* 2 ADS 10M OPEN RATE: $260 4.85” X 5.75” = 27.89 Sq. In. FULL-COLOR PREPAID RATES: 4X-$199 8X-$187 12X-$176
AD 2A, 2B, 2C 1/3 SIZE AD* 3 ADS 10M OPEN RATE: $175 3.15” X 5.75” = 18.11 Sq. In. FULL-COLOR PREPAID RATES: 4X-$134 8X-$126 12X-$118
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WIZARD OF ID
AD 3 10M OPEN RATE: $105 3.15” X 4.15” = 13.07 Sq. In. FULL-COLOR PREPAID RATES: 4X-$ 80 8X-$ 76 12X-$ 70
by PARKER, MASTROIANNI AND HART
TUNDRA
by CHAD CARPENTER
*Fewer divorces occur in families where the children wake the parents before 6:00 am on Saturdays. *The Rhesus monkey is the only animal other than man, that can be taught to hum a tune. TM
EEK!
by Drahcir Ssorc
by SCOTT NICKEL
Zack Lanphier - Publisher funnies.matsu@gmail.com
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EDITION #20 CAPTION CONTEST WINNER! IT’S SO COLD, EVEN MOSQUITOS WON’T BITE!
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MOTHER GOOSE AND GRIMM
by MIKE PETERS
Mike Tereshchenko, 20, Wasilla, Alaska RATE GUIDE 2013-2014 ǁ www.funnies-extra-matsu.com ǁ FUNNIES EXTRA! MAT-SU ǁ 3
IMAGINE THAT
by BRIAN MARTIN
STRANGER THINGS by TIM THOMSON
by LECTRR
©2011 Lectrr / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
©2011 Brian Martin /Dist. by www.InkBottleSyndicate.com
©2011 Tom Williams / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC - North America Only
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ANSWERS AT: www.funnies-extra-scottsdale.com
By Jim Bumgardner
SUDOKU
Fill in the blank squares so that each row, each column and each 3-by-3 block contain all of the digits 1 thru 9 using logic. Last Month’s Solution:
WORD GAMES 4 ǁ FUNNIES EXTRA! MAT-SU
HARA KIWI
RATE GUIDE 2013-2014
AD 4 10M OPEN RATE: $210 4.75” X 5.75” = 27.31 Sq. In. FULL-COLOR PREPAID RATES: 4X-$160 8X-$151 12X-$141
FRANK AND STEINWAY
by WIL PANGANIBAN ©2011 Wil Panganiban / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
AD 5A 10M OPEN RATE: $114 3.15” X 5.00” = 15.75 Sq. In. FULL-COLOR PREPAID RATES: 4X-$ 86 8X-$ 82 12X-$ 77
by TOM GAMMILL
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THE DOOZIES
*In an average lifetime, a person will walk a distance equivalent to walking around the earth 5 times. by Drahcir Ssorc
by DANIEL COLLINS ©2011 Daniel Collins / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
FUNNY PAPER
by RON THERIEN ©2011 Ron Therien / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
AGAINST THE GRAIN
AD 5B 10M OPEN RATE: $114 3.15” X 5.00” = 15.75 Sq. In. FULL-COLOR PREPAID RATES: 4X-$ 86 8X-$ 82 12X-$ 77
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WORD FIND BY MIA VONNE
COMPOSERS
AD 6A 10M OPEN RATE: $150 3.75” X 5.25” = 19.69 Sq. In. FULL-COLOR PREPAID RATES: 4X-$114 8X-$108 12X-$101
©2011 Mia Vonne / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
by CRYSTAL JONES
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CRANKY GIRL
by BRIDGETT SPICER
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SQUID ROW
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AD 6B 10M OPEN RATE: $109 3.60” X 4.15” = 14.94 Sq. In. FULL-COLOR PREPAID RATES: 4X-$ 83 8X-$ 78 12X-$ 73
AD 7A - 10M OPEN RATE: $ 36 3.15” X 1.50” = 4.73 Sq. In. FULL-COLOR PREPAID RATES: 4X-$ 28 8X-$ 25 12X-$ 24 DINGERS
FUTURE SHOCK
by JIM & PAT McGREAL
Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
by CAMPBELL & SCHOTSCH
Join Funnies Extra! on FaceBook and Twitter!
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FACEBOOK: /FunniesExtra ~ TWITTER: /funniesextra THAT MONKEY TUNE
by MICHAEL KANDALAFT
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©2011 Campbell & Schotsch / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
AD 7B - FULL-SIZE - 1 AD (To Split Into 2 Ads, Multiply The Rates Immediately Below By .525 Rate Factor) 10M OPEN RATE: $325 9.85” X 4.38” = 43.09 Sq. In.
FULL-COLOR PREPAID RATES: 4X-$249 8X-$234 12X-$219 ------------------
AD 7B-1 / AD 7B-2 / AD 7B-3 (1/3 SIZE ADS) - 3 ADS --- 10M OPEN RATE: $115 Ea. 3.15” X 4.38” = 13.79 Sq. In. FULL-COLOR PREPAID RATES: 4X-$ 88 Ea. 8X-$ 83 Ea. 12X-$ 78 Ea. RATE GUIDE 2013-2014 ǁ www.funnies-extra-matsu.com ǁ FUNNIES EXTRA! MAT-SU ǁ 7
DOGS OF C-KENNEL
by MICK & MASON MASTROIANNI
HOLY MOLÉ
KARMA CAFÉ
by RICK HOTTON
by RICHARD CROSS & BILL ABBOTT
HALF BAKED
by RICK ELLIS
AD 8-9 FULL-CENTER-PAGE AD* DOUBLE TRUCK 1 AD 10M OPEN RATE: $525 6.25” X 8.825” = 55.16 Sq. In. FULL-COLOR PREPAID RATES: 4X-$402 8X-$378 12X-$354
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AD 8-9 A,B,C,D QUARTER CENTER-PAGE AD* 4 ADS 10M OPEN RATE: $150 3.10” X 4.35” = 13.49 Sq. In. FULL-COLOR PREPAID RATES: 4X-$115 8X-$108 12X-$101
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THE OTHER COAST
AD 8-9 A & B HALF-CENTER-PAGE AD* DOUBLE TRUCK 2 ADS 10M OPEN RATE: $280 6.25” X 4.35” = 26.97 Sq. In. FULL-COLOR PREPAID RATES: 4X-$214 8X-$202 12X-$189
by ADRIAN RAESIDE
RALF THE DESTROYER
by SCOTT LINCOLN
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SUNSHINE STATE
by GRAHAM NOLAN
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THIS SPACE LEFT BLANK INTENTIONALLY
PICKLES
by BRIAN CRANE
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OPEN MOUTH...INSERT FOOT
Brought to you by:
Jim Lein writes about adventure, life, music, and parenthood and has learned that most good stories don’t begin with, “and then I decided to keep my mouth shut.” His home in the Colorado Rockies serves both as an office and as a base camp for a variety of outdoor and musical activities. He has been published in numerous trade journals, business publications, and lifestyle magazines and is now a weekly contributor to Funnies Extra!.
5 Reasons Why Funnies Extra! Is The Best Place ForYour Ad By Jim Lein
P
rint advertising has been effective for centuries. In 1609, an ad appeared in a British newspaper promoting migration opportunities to America. The Brits wanted American stuff but needed selfsufficient, adventurous souls to go get it for them. I guess that kind of backfired on them. But you have to admit, the ads worked. They still do. Internet advertising is still in its infancy and it shows. The challenge with online ads is to get your message heard above the noise. Remember the days when a Pop-Up was a toaster pastry and Spam was something you’d be happy to see float on to the beach if you were starving on a desert island. Shouldn’t Spyware refer to the latest fashions favored by secret agents?
Why advertise in Funnies Extra!? Funnies Extra! Speaks the Univer- want—everyone wants to laugh. Here’s why! 51% of newspaper readers over 65 sal Language of Humor! Funnies Extra! requires no Net- English is the language of business. read the comics. But so do 44% in work Connection. French the language of Love. Fun- the 18-24 range. 43% of newspaper readers just have a high school Funnies Extra! ads are easier to nies Extra! speaks the universal lan- degree, but 38% have a Masters deaccess and read than internet ads. guage of humor. Everybody loves to gree. I could lay more stats on you Funnies Extra!’s is always at its op- laugh at their favorite comic strip but then I’d sound like I was trying timal screen resolution. Its battery even when the ad next to it is for to prove which of us is smarter and never goes dead. Readers don’t need sedation dentistry or 2-for-1 crema- I don’t want to see Guido knocking at least 3 bars of network coverage tion services. And you won’t see any at my door. or a strong WiFi signal. Funnies Ex- of that high-brow British humor or tra! will never give you a virus that subtle humor. We want readers to Funnies Extra! Is Never Outdated. will cause you to lose valuable doc- always ‘get it’—and respond with People are dropping subscriptions uments and data. And nothing will a smile, a laugh, and occasionally to big circulation newspapers beever pop up out of Funnies Extra! to snort when they guffaw. Our comic cause the news is old before it leaves strip artists are forbidden by law to the printing press. 10 years from tell you your boss is calling. make readers wonder who is smartFunnies Extra! Won’t Push Any- er—the artist or the reader. If you now you could pick up the very first edition of Funnies Extra! and it body’s Buttons. don’t understand a Funnies Extra! would be just as funny as the day it These days it easy to find some- comic strip let us know and we will came out. Comic strips are timeless. thing to get mad about. And plenty send Guido to the artist’s house to Think about it—B.C. is still one of of people are more than happy to give them a nuclear wedgie. the most popular strips and it was oblige with provocative statements Many Of The Other Free Papers written thousands of years ago by and actions intended to push some- Seek to Divide Us. Johnny Hartrock. one’s button. In contrast, Bleeding Heart Liberals, the Religious Right, Every free paper is looking for a I hope this unbiased and fact-based Tea Partiers, and Libertarians will niche but I think that can backfire. column has reinforced some things all love Funnies Extra!. So will Young professionals don’t want you already know; place your fullChristians, Muslims, Buddhists, to read a paper with “Senior” in color display ad in Funnies Extra! and Crystal Worshipers. I’ll stop the title. Calorically challenged and folks in your community will there before I push anyone’s button people don’t want to read a paper be talking about your bujsiness because I think you get the picture. with “Healthy” in the title. Funnies while they’re having a laugh on us. Extra! gives everyone what they AD 10B 10M OPEN RATE: $ 95 9.85” X 1.25” = 12.31 Sq. In. FULL-COLOR PREPAID RATES: 4X-$ 72 8X-$ 68 12X-$ 64
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AD 10A 10M OPEN RATE: $ 25 1.75” X 1.50” = 2.63 Sq. In. FULL-COLOR PREPAID RATES: 4X-$ 19 8X-$ 18 12X-$ 17
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BIZ
by DAVE BLAZEK
AD 11A 10M OPEN RATE: $225 6.50” X 4.15” = 26.98 Sq. In. FULL-COLOR PREPAID RATES: 4X-$172 8X-$162 12X-$151 Distributed by ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
“Actually, neither of them is connected to anything. But it’s sure made it a heck of a lot quieter around here.”
by DANIEL BORIS
Distributed by ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
HOXWINDER HALL
*Lucy and Linus van Pelt of “Peanuts” fame, were brother and sister, but did you know that they had a little brother named Rerun? He sometimes played left-field on Charlie Brown’s baseball team. 15 MINUTES
by Drahcir Ssorc
by ROBERT DUCKETT
AD 11B 10M OPEN RATE: $120 3.15” X 5.25” = 16.54 Sq. In. FULL-COLOR PREPAID RATES: 4X-$ 92 8X-$ 86 12X-$ 81
©2011 Robert Duckett / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
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CRIME-QUIZ
by WERNER WEJP-OLSEN
THIN LINES by Randy Glasbergen
©2011 Werner Wejp-Olsen / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
AD 12 10M OPEN RATE: $120 3.35” X 5.00” = 16.75 Sq. In. FULL-COLOR PREPAID RATES: 4X-$ 92 8X-$ 86 12X-$ 81 FUNNIES EXTRA, LLC
Kim Kellogg - Editor ~ editor@funnies-extra.com
CORPORATE OFFICE: 6822 22nd Avenue North, #134, St. Petersburg, FL 33710 (office) 727-343-1243 (fax) 727-343-4477 www.funnies-extra.com ~ info@funnies-extra.com 12 ǁ FUNNIES EXTRA! MAT-SU
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Bill Kellogg - VP Sales & Marketing sales@funnies-extra.com ~ 907-441-6882 Richard Cross - Executive Publisher publisher@funnies-extra.com ~ Tel. 727-343-1243
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© 2011 wordgames.co.uk wordgames.co.uk
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AMAZING MAZES
by Sheila Anderson
AD 13 10M OPEN RATE: $230 5.25” X 5.85” = 30.71 Sq. In. FULL-COLOR PREPAID RATES: 4X-$176 8X-$166 12X-$155
TASTES LIKE CHICKEN by JOSH ALVES
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WEEKLY ANSWERS AT: www.funnies-extra.com/puzzles
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Cartoonist Sp tlight Funnies Extra! will shine the Spotlight on ‘toons from aspiring cartoonists and pay them too! Comic strips and panels will be published from cartoonists of any age along with a pic and short bio. Send each strip as a PDF file, 300 dpi, CMYK, along with your name, age, address and phone number. Send 10 color submissions to: submissions@funnies-extra.com and type “Spotlight” in the subject line. Good luck! (Participation void where prohibited.)
POKEWEED
Pokeweed! A small town with big fun. It’s the anywhere and everywhere town on the map, but just south of nowhere. Living in Pokeweed anything can happen, but always with loads of fun. A simple life poke’n at ya from Drew Pocza. www.pokeweedcomics.com
FORTUNE STREET by RANDY McILWAINE
AD 14b 10M OPEN RATE: $175 6.50” X 3.60” = 23.40 Sq. In. FULL-COLOR PREPAID RATES: 4X-$134 8X-$126 12X-$118 © Copyright 2013 Randy McIwaine / dist. by www.InkBottleSyndicate,.com
14 ǁ FUNNIES EXTRA! MAT-SU
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by DREW POCZA
Distributed by www.InkBottleSyndicate.com
AD 14A 10M OPEN RATE: $155 3.25” X 5.85” = 19.01 Sq. In. FULL-COLOR PREPAID RATES: 4X-$119 8X-$112 12X-$105
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CROSSWORD
by MIRROR EYES
AD 15 INSIDE BACK-COVER*
(To Split Into 2 Ads, Multiply The Rates Below By .525 Rate Factor)
ACROSS 1. Daisy like bloom 6. Bygone era 10. Doing nothing 14. Rental agreement 15. Matured 16. Mangle 17. Collection of maps 18. Formally surrender 19. Rumple 20. Shield 22. Initial wager 23. Bran source 24. Shabby 26. In a forward direction 30. Sudden burst 32. Crystal-lined rock 33. A guest cabin 37. Space 38. Without company 39. Hawkeye State 40. Gift 42. Stares 43. Poverty-stricken 44. Assault sexually 45. Extraterrestrial 47. Average 48. Blockhead 49. Astounded 56. Hindu princess 57. Razzes 58. France’s longest river 59. Chocolate cookie 60. Stringed instrument 61. Move forward suddenly 62. Small slender gull 63. Hearing organs 64. Eagerness DOWN 1. Wings 2. Collections 3. After-bath powder 4. Brother of Jacob 5. Repair 6. Luxury boat 7. Curved molding 8. Start over
9. Without teeth 10. Extraneous 11. Intimidate 12. Vigorously passionate 13. If not 21. Knave 25. Consumed food 26. Monster 27. A noble gas 28. Comes from trees 29. Rebuke 30. Obdurate 31. Breathe hard 33. Sleigh 34. Exude 35. Is endebted to 36. Spar 38. Willing to comply 41. Tiny 42. Big ape 44. Adult male 45. Cognizant 46. A protective covering 47. Models 48. Gait faster than a walk 50. Kind of bean 51. Unit of pressure 52. Not sweet 53. Posterior 54. Therefore 55. Bambi was one
10 OPEN RATE: $350 6.50” X 5.75” = 37.38 Sq. In. FULL-COLOR PREPAID RATES: 4X-$267 8X-$252 12X-$236 *PREMIUM PLACEMENT AD
SPEED BUMP
by DAVE COVERLY
THE DEEP END
by TYSON COLE
Answers to Last Month’s Crossword:
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BC
AD 16 FULL-SIZE BACK-PAGE - 1 AD* 10M OPEN RATE: $680 9.85” X 6.75” = 66.48 Sq. In. FULL-COLOR PREPAID RATES: 4X-$520 8X-$490 12X-$459 *PREMIUM PLACEMENT ADS
by MASTROIANNI AND HART
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