Fun Nihilist Magazine, Issue 1, The Angel Issue by Emma DiMaggio

Fun Nihilist.

The Angel Issue, Vol 1 .

Letter from the Editor I would like to sincerely thank every person who has been involved with this endeavor of mine. To the photographers, Willow, Jorge, and Andre, who I’ve watched get better and better every day. Jorge, you will always be good. I look forward to the day that you become one of the greats. Willow, my day one, thank you for coming to every single show and believing in everything the mag has become. André, thank you for tolerating my (exceptionally good) lip syncing and driving us around the entire city for coverage. To John, who has been my InDesign angel, for creating the master pages and helping me render the entire layout. To Mistuko, for being so eager to produce video content and for hitting the nail on the head every time. To Cameron, for sharing your photos with me without any hesitation. To Yiwei, for being in charge of some of the best nights of my life. To Gabby and Jarrod, for giving 100 percent at every show and never wavering. To Chloe, for an interview full of laughter and for serving notable looks, all day every day. To Engracia, for showing others all the

beauty you see in the world. To Jenebrith, who makes me want to be the best version of myself, who challenges me to think critically and explore my own opinions. To Walker, for being so passionate about his trade, for being incredibly kind, and for being such a genuine person. To Raquel, for dumping the entire contents of her bag into the backseat of her car for the sake of a spread. To Madonna, for being an amazing dancer and an even better artist. To Cole, for sharing his bangers with the world. And to Model/Actriz, for some of the best I’ve ever seen. To Kaiya, for the soul music I never knew I needed. To Taylor, for emotional support, for moral support, for standing up what you believe in, for being unapologetic, for singing with me in the kitchen, and for being the sitcom roommate I always wanted. To everyone who has given me ideas and transformed my vision. To the City of Angels, and all the ethereal beings that inhabit it, many of whom I’ve had the pleasure of meeting, and who have been featured in this issue. Enjoy.

THE

Angel Issue

Carl Sagan once wrote, “The Cosmos is all that is or ever was or ever will be. Our feeblest contemplations of the Cosmos stir us -- there is a tingling in the spine, a catch in the voice, a faintest sensation, as if a distant memory, of falling from a height. We know we are approching the greatest of mysteries.” Heavy, but not unbearably so. We have every resource to think critically, to be informed, and to consequentially think philosophically about problems posed to us. However, when left to run off on a tangent, existentialism morphs into nihilism. The question shifts from “Why?” to “Why the fuck do I care?” The realization of life as an illusion, to identify that nothing has truly intrinsic value, of feeling like an infinitesimal blip on a sheet of spacetime, can be earth-shaking. The entire concept of a “fun nihilist” is paradoxical. To identify meaninglessness and accept its premises, and yet to make the conscious decision to have a good time. Not occasionally, but consistently, and with vigor. Los Angeles is easily one of the most difficult places to be a nihilist. Not because of some cultural pressure to be otherwise, or because of

some dissociation from metaphysical doctrines, but because of the inherent spirit of this city. To be surrounded by a melting pot of different experiences, of different consciousnesses sharing Los Angeles as their ecosystem, makes it distinctly challenging to decline all meaning. There’s something beautiful and undeniably unique about this city. A place where creatives spread like wildfire, each contributing a spark of their own. Where teeenagers can slam bodies with other sentient beings, and then trade a cigarette for a smile just moments later. Where people use “fuck it” as a mantra for life, but will still spend 30 minutes trying to open a bottle of wine by unconventional means. This city is full of quintessential absurdism. Los Angeles, the City of Angels, is home of some of the most celestial and unbelievably wonderful characters I’ve experienced in my own personal blip of sentience. Alan Moore once said, “Life’s so fragile, a successful virus clinging to a speck of mud, suspended in endless nothing.” So let’s stick with the “fuck it” mantra, be fun nihilists, and have a good ass time.

Credits: Emma DiMaggio.............................Editor in Chief Jorge Villa..........................Editorial Photographer Willow Sando-McCall............Event Photographer John Portis..................................Graphic Designer Andre Bianic...........................Event Photographer Mistuko Orismekusa........................Videographer Cameron Pagett.........Contributing Photographer 4

TABLE OF CONTENTS ART -Photography: Engracia Abeyta...........................................10 -Illustration: Walker DuBois................................................14 -Film: Chloe Feller................................................................40 -Comics: Madonna Murphy.................................................52 MUSIC -Band: Girl Pusher................................................................20 -Booking: Yiwei Meng..........................................................32 -Album Watch......................................................................38 -Curated Playlists.................................................................48 LIFESTYLE -Sociology: Jenebrith Pastran...............................................6 -Collage................................................................................46 -Weekend Essentials: Raquel Makler.................................50 -Absurdist Horoscopes........................................................53

Jenebrith Pastran Coffee with a Sociology Major, A Q&A Interview Q: What aspects of sociology stand learned is more so what my personal experiences have already out most to you? informed me of, but was knowing A: For me, specifically, because the actual kind of institutional there are macro and micro level implications that allowed things to studies of sociology, it’s kind of a combination of both. It’s a perspec- work. I would say mostly education. We all know that education in this tive that analyzes society through country isn’t the best, obviously, but a lens of conflict, I think is what when you really read about how mostly I am interested in. You’re kind of looking through the lens of, education varies from community to community, it doesn’t stand “What is it that’s not functioning out to the individual when you’re and why?” and, “Let’s try to posit within that kind of context. That’s some kind of way to amend that.” It’s not just like, “Oh this is fucked.” your environment. Reading how education in Chicago and inner Let’s try to figure out the elements that are not functioning and how we cities are so messed up. How there’s the school to prison pipeline. What can amend that in a proactive way. In a realistic way. I really enjoy that feeds into that, what informs that kind of phenomenon, things like aspect of sociology. that really affect me and interest me. Q: What have you learned in sociology that’s stood out to you? It’s not that it’s a broken system, it’s just the way it’s set up. There are just A: Something that I’ve recently

ous. Let’s say for example, we live in the West Coast and our experiences, just sitting here today, are going to be completely different from, let’s say, some community college student in Oklahoma or in the Midwest. Their experience is going to be remarkably different and sociology is going to say, “Hey, let’s listen to this kid over here. This is a student right now but, statistically speaking, that student can just drop out of school and get a job and be economically depressed for a very long time, because theres no means there.” But us being on the West Coast, we don’t see that and we don’t address that. Sociology is trying to balance, to just really analyze everything on an equal basis and not trying to just read into bias. There’s bias everywhere, but it’s trying to say, “Hey this is your America, but that’s an America too.” I think we live in a time when it’s pretty easy to point out that we live in two remarkably different worlds. We need to acknowledge them and then see what needs to be addressed there. There’s a reason why Donald Trump is in office and it’s bigger than just his rhetoric. There are a lot of institutional things that were set in place that allowed for that to happen. Sociology is a discipline that allows for people to really explore why. Like why is this going on? Then just trying to figure out how one experience differs from another. Society is a big complex network,

so many systems of disadvantage within that. We don’t teach people that our world is something that needs to be perceived holistically. There are different elements. I think sociology is really a discipline that tries to understand all these different elements: the economy, this institution, the health, what it contributes, education, and how that affects things, age and race and all of that. It’s balancing all these different elements. I think that if we actually educated people that there are all these elements that inform your experience as an individual within the larger context of society, that would probably do everyone a lot more good. Q: How do you think this relates to education specifically? A: That is something that I’m really interested in; seeing what’s broken about our education system, and what is, and why, that we can try to fix it. It’s a really big task. Education in general is one foundation, one root of a larger problem. If that was kind of addressed, it could help fix a lot of things later. Q: Why do you think sociology is important in contemporary society? Especially with the current political climate. A: I think sociology is analyzing what’s going on in the world today without giving so much air time to the politics of it all. We’re not going to listen to a politician banter about something that’s absolutely ridicu-

“Nothing is an accident or a coincidence and there are absolutely institutional implications for how things are.” from Columbus era to the present. Take an ethnics studies class. Just do yourself that favor to open up your eyes to how complex the world is. How nothing is an accident or a coincidence and that there absolutely are institutional implications for how things are. Whoever you are, your experience will somehow relate to that. Out to straight white men, that’s kind of like the funny area of the spectrum. People always bash on cis white males like “Oh they can’t relate to whatever.” I hear you, but we shouldn’t exclude them, because, sadly, they’re the ones that hold a lot of the cards. Instead of demonizing their existence, we should really just encourage them to still explore this. Maybe this isn’t your quote on quote “history” but just acknowledge it and try to figure out, “What is it that’s not functioning? How can I as an individual within this larger context contribute to making this a little better? I think just being an informed individual is doing that already.

and it’s just really trying to understand things within these different perspectives and trying to put it all together. It’s trying to analyze a huge puzzle that’s maybe not quite fitting together, but really taking the time to look at each puzzle piece and seeing how to make it fit into this larger picture. Q: What suggestions do you have for someone trying to become more generally informed on these topics? A: I think it’s just a matter of being conscious of knowing there’s a wealth of resources just on the internet, that you just kind of have to find. I didn’t explicitly Google these things, right? I think it’s things, right? I think it’s more of this kind of self discovery process that I think is completely available to everybody, but it’s just within your own time. “A People’s History of the United States” is a great read. It’s just giving people a real history. A historian has compiled the histories of marginalized groups within the United States

Engracia Abeyta

A young teen, head tressed in thick brown curls, meticulously organizes elaborate miniature scenes in her bedroom. These scenes are not the beginnings of a mock stage, but rather the backdrop of a photoshoot. Her subjects? Miniature animal-shaped erasers. Engracia Abeyta, known as the misnomer “Vilicity” on social media, has come a long way from her amateur photography days. Her new muses include sparkling oceans, richly colored fruits, and dark, hazy landscapes. “It’s interesting how you can make photos look like paintings and make your own meaning in them,” Abeyta says.

Abeyta, though born in Colorado Springs, has lived in California her entire life. With an immediate family of painters, photographers, and installation artists, it’s not surprising Abeyta herself has made a reputation for her photography. However, her portfolio of work is not limited to photography. At some point in her early days of experimenting with Polaroid film, Abeyta began creating collages on top of film blanks. “I was growing increasingly frustrated with the polaroids that would come out overexposed or underexposed,” Abeyta says. “I wanted to repurpose them and incorporate them into something new.”

Her writing, which she superimposes onto these shots via glue and paper, centers around a philosophical and feminine narrative. This narrative has become a trend in much of her work. “I’m trying to incorporate feminine energy, so to speak. Whatever that mean. I’m a huge Simone de Beauvoir fan, so I don’t know what woman is or her condition,” Abeyta explains. Although she is featured in much of her work, she tries to distill an air of anonymity into her photos. “I never wanted to be the center of anything. I’ve always wanted to be

separate from what I’m making and not really have my life or people in my life as known,” Abeyta says. “I want them to be there, but leaving that kind of air of mystery where people can make up their own interpretations.” Though she used to try to develop a set meaning in her work, she’s since become more objective in her work, and encourages others to do the same. “I was just reading something by Andrei Tarkovsky, a Russian filmmaker,” Abeyta says. “He’s said something about how you should never try to get someone to under-

stand what you’re trying to make. I found words that were so true to how I felt about what I’ve been trying to do.” Most recently, she has drawn inspiration from films by David Lynch, Jean Luc Godard, and Quentin Tarantino. Though most of her photos are not staged, she enjoys the idea of making each item in a composition look purposeful. “I’ve always had this fascination with light. For whatever reason, I’ve always been obsessed with light, and lighting, and good lighting,” Abeyta says. This fascination is evident in her

work. Many of her photos feature the shadowed outlines of lace, window panes, and arboreal figures. After a profound experience in Mill Valley, she’s been trying to reflect her appreciation for nature in her work. “I’m noticing I can do all it all. I can go to school and be a STEM major, and also at the same time create and use those two things together to raise awareness and help people,” Abeyta says. “I feel like that’s something that’s meaningful to me, something bigger than myself as well, and that’s all I really want out of life.”

Walker DuBois DuBois has come a long way from this wide-eyed six year old, flipping through graphic novels in his elementary school library. He recently completed his first, original 22 page comic, which is centered around a post-apocalyptic punk band. “I have to say it’s the greatest feeling in the world,” DuBois says. “It’s a big milestone for me.” He draws inspiration from artists like Jamie Hewlett, who is responsible for the creation of Tank Girl and the co-creation of the virtual eletronica band Gorillaz. Hewlett’s work is categorized by anarchism, absurdist, surrealistic imagery, and punk visual art. “The entire aesthetic of punk is a huge influence to me, and just subversiveness. I hate to use the term “shock value,” but shocking

Fencing by day, drawing until the early hours of the morning; sleep is merely a hobby when you have an eight-panel to work on. Currently studying at the Rhode Island School of Design, Walker DuBois, illustrator and animator, has been interested in art ever since picking up Mouse, a Holocaust-themed anthropomorphic graphic novel, in the first grade. His exposure to the graphic novel, illustrated by Art Spiegelman, was a formative moment in his path to becoming an artist. “I just remember reading it and just loving it. That feeling of subverting someone by looking at this comic that I wasn’t supposed to [be looking at],” DuBois recounts. “But at the same time it was very powerful.”

imagery is something that I think is relevant in my work. It’s not to get a reaction, but to evoke something,” DuBois says. Despite completing his recent project, DuBois isn’t disillusioned from the struggles he will likely face with a career as an illustrator. “Illustration is really a dying art. Back in the ‘60s there was a huge demand for magazine illustration, which just doesn’t exist anymore,” DuBois explains. “I’m caught between the two worlds of graphic design and animation.” Though he would love to maneuver his way into a career in illustration, he’s focusing on his art for the moment. Attending RISD has given him the opportunity to grasp an understanding on art, especially in terms of color and composition. “Before art school, I just had no idea what color was,” DuBois says. “At the start of my art education I was really overwhelmed with all you can do.” One of his biggest struggles is discovering how to simplify his work in a sea of mediums, composition styles, and color tones. The process of finding his niche can be daunting, but he has dedicated his time at RISD to figuring it out. “Photoshop and working digitally is an interesting point because it’s good and bad. You can change [colors] really easily, but you also have access to every color in the human spectrum,” DuBois says. “People

tend to keep adding on, because it’s limitless. You can have as much color as you want.” With this in mind, DuBois has set limitations for himself. Intending to simplify his work and hone in on his technique, his new work only includes primary colors, if any color at all. Though it feels as if he is toiling through the process, he feels lucky to be able to pursue his passion. “I think it’s going to be worth it. I would definitely not want to do anything else. It’s just satisfying for me to make comics, make art, see other people make art, be inspired,” DuBois says. DuBois’s work is centered around narrative storytelling, though he has trouble bridging the dichotomy of being both an animator and comic artist. “Comics and animation are the same idea, a selection of sequential images to show you a story, but they way they operate is incredibly different,” DuBois says. “[In comics] it’s two drawing that show a length of time, and you decide how long that length of time was… But animation is the opposite. In animation, I’m showing you exactly how long something takes. I’m showing you exactly what something looks like.” It’s this kind of variety, and challenge, that intrigues DuBois when it comes to creation. “I love the idea of multimedia for art, having your art exist in multiple

different forms, may it be music, animation, drawing,” DuBois says. “It’s really cool that you can have and experience art through the different mediums. It’s really interesting to see.” Despite the obvious evolution of an artist through university, DuBois attributes much of his growth to the city of Los Angeles. “You go outside in LA and you walk down the street and you can see 50 things that no one else would see anywhere else, because it’s such a conglomeration of different things coming together,” DuBois says. This conglomeration has given perspective to DuBois’s work. Being surrounded by a thriving art community, paired with a city with a distinctly diverse population, has helped his art mature.

Though he’s an active member of the Providence art scene, and admires the feeling of a local, contained environemnt for art, he looks forward to his return to the Los Angeles scene. Though he sees the benefit of thriving in a smaller arena, he looks forward to the interconnectedness of the Los Angeles art scene, and how it relates to other creative endeavors burgeoning in Los Angeles. “I think that even outside of the art scene, I couldn’t live anywhere else than Los Angeles,” DuBois says. “While I think it applies to art, it transcends. Everything here is so diverse. I think it has a huge affect on your outlook on life and the way you experience things. There’s no going back for me now, I’m invested in this city.”

â&#x20AC;&#x153;While I think it applies to art, it transcends. Everything here is so diverse. It has a huge affect on your outlook on life.â&#x20AC;? 19

GIRL PUSHER The PA thunders, shaking the very foundation of the floor you’re standing on. A blonde girl, silhouette by red, seizure-inducing strobe lights, jumps on stage. Her face is smudged with clown makeup and blood, though she doesn’t seem to notice either. When the drums come in, the entire crowd pulsates with the bass. In a moment, as if by some unseen queue, the entire crowd screams “I’m so fat, I’m so ugly” at the top of their lungs, in unison with the clown-faced femme. Though she commands the stage, the drummer commands the room, banging drums with hands covered in blood blisters, with the full intention of creating more. Self destructive masochists in a sea of self destructive masochists, what could be better?

Gabby Guiliano and Jarrod Hine have made this a lifestyle, but they never intended on the techno punk band becoming anything more than another homie side project. After a mutual friend had taken too much Xanax and ditched plans to hang out, Guiliano and Hine sat down on New Year’s 2015 and put forth the foundation of the band now known as Girl Pusher. Giuliano broke straight edge, had her first beer, and the two sat down and wrote the entire JAN. 1 EP in a single night. “We recorded that free album on Bandcamp that night and busted it. Two weeks later somebody book us and we’ve been playing shows ever since,” Hine says. After initially acquainting with each other through mutual friends on Tumblr, circa 2012, the two met

up in the flesh while Hine was on a way to an Odd Future concert in San Francisco. Though Guiliano had to opt out of going due to parental restraints and her school schedule, they shared pancakes with white chocolate chips at a local Denny’s with another mutual friend. Ever since the meeting, the two have been best friends and confidants. “I think Jarrod is my longest lasting friend,” Guiliano says, but this meeting never alluded to anything more than continued shit-talking Skype calls, which were already the norm. Though they were mildly involved in other creative endeavors at the time, and attended rap and hardcore shows together in Bakersfield, they never anticipated that they’d be driving to their own shows together in a couple years time. Flash forward to Guiliano and Hine banging the Suicideyears Remix of Hard in the Paint by Wakka Flocka Flame, hyping themselves up for a performance. “Because holy shit, if there’s a song that gets you ready to play a show, it’s that song,” Hine proclaims. The two cannot stress enough how accidental the creation and eventual rise of the Girl Pusher was. Giuliano, a self proclaimed “marching band stoner” never had the desire to be in a band. Born and raised in Bakersfield, California, Guiliano graduated with her degree from

Cal State Bakersfield with a degree in English language and literature with a minor in studio art in 2016. The only allusion to her future involvement in any sort of band was her consistent fascination with noise music. “I’ve always listened to a lot of noise. I’ve been that bitch,” Guiliano says. Hine, on the other hand, had an itch to join a band ever since high school, if for no other reason than for the opportunity to drum. He received his first drum set when he was 13 years old, but problematic neighbors prevented him from playing for months at a time. After receiving an electric drum set as a gift from his family, his dry spell ended. “[Receiving the electric drum set] is definitely the reason I make electronic music at all. Once you learn what you can do with one of those things, it’s like, ‘Oh shit.’” He drummed in Witch King, a hardcore band, for three years posthigh school. Raised on industrial music, his upbringing and parents’ music influence affected the band in more ways than one. “There’s a band called ‘My Life With the Thrill Kill Cult’ and they’re from the early 90’s, 80’s. It’s super sexually charged dark dance music,” Hine says. “In one of the songs, it’s called ‘A Daisy Chain for Satan,” it’s just over and over a lady saying, “I live for drugs, it’s great.’”

The familiar line, sampled in “A Lot of Boys Like Me Though,” is a clip from an audio interview with a young runaway who speaks about her experience with drugs, abortions, and her life disillusioned from society. Characteristically, she’s high and disoriented for the entire interview, making the audio both depressing and intriguing. It took Hine years of scouring through search pages, forums, and multiple Woodstock documentaries to finally find the clip. As for how it contributes to Girl Pusher, Hine states, “I just take all the darkest parts from it and anything that will make people feel shitty or feel anything and throw that in the song.” The pair are no strangers to sampling. The runaway may as well be the third member of the band, as she is featured in about a third of all Girl Pusher songs. Other features include audio tapes from Decline, which Hine proclaims is, “One of the most horrible Youtube videos you can ever watch.” The creators of Decline were also involved in the

creation of Bum Fights, a prank show centered around abusing disoriented homeless people, if that gives any context to the genre of video. The audio from “Thanks Bitch” features a homeless woman manically screaming from an audio piece of Decline. She takes her place as one of the many characters that stand center stage in some of Girl Pusher’s most demented clips. Guiliano and Jarrod try to parallel this absurd and manic energy in their own sets. “I only drum when I play a show,” Hine says. “Even with some of our mellow songs, I try to drum as hard as I can, just to scare people. I just want you to be like, ‘Why the fuck are you hitting them that hard?’” Despite this impression, Girl Pusher sets don’t consist solely of blood, sweat, and screaming like some would otherwise believe. One song, or rather cover, that stands out amongst the rest is Guiliano’s rendition of “Better Off Alone” by Alice Deejay. “I think it’s important that we play that cover, just because it’s fun,”

“I’m going to give them something to laugh about.” 26

Guiliano says. “A lot of people go to shows to make an appearance and be a piece of shit and like, that song gets everyone to let go for a moment and be a fucking idiot and sing along.” The song, which always bursts from the PA with an uncharacteristic array of high electronic notes, never fails to turn heads, pique interests, and reveal who amongst the crowd have secretly never stopped listening to 2000s electronic music. “There’s power in doing that, in making everyone happy,” Guiliano says. Despite fan requests for more covers, including a personal Fun Nihilist request for a cover of “Believe” by Cher, it took months for Guiliano to convince Jarrod to cover the iconic Alice Deejay club kid anthem. Giuliano states that the first time they ever played the song was during a last-minute show, promptly after Hine had been bit in the face by Guiliano’s dog while Guiliano was singing the song in her living room. Sometimes things just work out. But this dog bite was not the first, and is certainly not the last example of Girl Pusher-related bloodshed. The violence seems to increase proportionally with the lifespan of the band. “I would say if anything it gets angrier and sadder, because the world is just going downhill and it’s this domino effect of shitty things

happening to both me and Jarrod,” Guiliano explains. “ A lot of shit happens because of the band and then goes wrong,” Hine elaborates. “So we just sit there and get pissed about it while we play, which is tight. When I play the drums I fucking freak out. I’m not even mad that day and then I’m just pissed off after the show. People are like, ‘You did good,” and I’m like, “AHH fuck you I don’t give a fuck!’” This high energy enthusiasm for violence and anger promotes, in the best and worst ways, a sufficient, if not sustainable, level of self destruction at the shows. On more than one occasion Guiliano has walked off the stage dripping with blood. Whether it be from a rowdy mosh, repeatedly hitting her head on the mic, or just exterior forces of nature willing her to be injured, her clown paint usually transforms into a concoction of red blood cells, smeared face makeup, and sweat. (And we like it that way.) “It’s on purpose. I’m going to beat myself up,” Hine admits. “I’m a masochist, I’ll admit to that,” Guiliano adds. “I can go to a really good show and it can leave me shocked and awed and in a really good mental place, and that’ll inspire me. I’ll be like, ‘I want to go fucking apeshit.’” Even the band name “Girl Pusher” came to fruition through a mild and unintentional act of violence. At the time, Guiliano was straight-

tedge, hanging out with friends in downtown Bakersfield. “I was with my friend Val and he’s like two times bigger than Jarrod, and for the record Jarrod is 6’3. Almost 6’4. But Jarrod is lanky, Val is thick and a little bit taller,” Guiliano explains. “Anyways, he cracked a joke and is a little drunk and I’m straightedge. He punches my arm like the laugh kind of way, and he did it way too hard because I’m tiny. I fell into the street, almost get hit by a car, and I cuss him out. In the slew of all the shit I’m calling him, I call him a “Girl Pusher” and he starts laughing at me.” “I always carry a pen and paper and he’s like, ‘Don’t fucking write that down on your list of band names, I know you’re going to write it,’ and I did, especially since he said not to,” Guiliano explains. Later, when Hine and Giuliano wrote the first EP on New Year’s 2015 and decided to share it online, it was obvious to the two of them that “Girl Pusher” was the most appropriate misnomer for their project. The infamous clown makeup, how ever, didn’t come into the picture until much later. The makeup made its debut at a show at Table 87, after Guiliano had recently gone through a breakup and was feeling particularly uncomfortable at the venue. “I like the anonymity of clown makeup. [People] are going to be

laughing or snickering, I’m going to give them something to laugh at,” Guiliano says. “A lot of people think we’re juggalos and we’re like, ‘No, we’re just clowns,’” Jarrod explains. The two aren’t dressing up to serve any branding purpose, they’re just in it for the ride. If they’re going to go crazy on stage, they might as well go fucking insane. “I’m a fucking clown, straight up. I’m an idiot. I almost got arrested at the hospital with my clown makeup on. I’ve gone through the TacoBell drive-through with the clown makeup on and had the workers taking pictures of my face. I just forget,” Guiliano says.

Fans of the band love the makeup so much that they wear their own renditions of clownface to Girl Pusher shows. Forget beating their faces with foundation and bronzer, juggalo chic is full force ahead. Though not all patrons of their shows don full costumes and theatrical makeup, there is absolutely no lack of crowd at Girl Pusher shows.

If anything, the band has experienced a rapid increase in fans, especially after Guiliano’s move to Los Angeles this past November, 2016. “It’s weird. I use headphones when I play and I’ll hear the vocals all crazy and I’ll look up and realize that it’s because the whole fucking crowd is screaming the lyrics,” Hine explains. “That was not a thing a year ago.” Despite this popularity, the duo don’t plan on taking their music mainstream anytime soon. If anything, they’re trying to do the exact opposite. Jarrod is confident in their ability to maintain anonymity, remain mysterious, and avoid becoming another contrived Los Angeles punk band. Things like making shows inclusive and staying genuine to themselves are a part of this goal. “I want every show to be a safe space. If you’re giving me the time of day, I’m going to give you the time of day,” Guiliano says. “We’ve had someone call into the radio station and ask Jarrod if they could come to a show, but they were uncomfortable because they called themselves a crossdresser. They were like, ‘Is it okay? Am I like okay to come to this environment?” Jarrod’s response was simple, “We’re the perfect show for you to come to. We’ve got your back.” In the current political climate, safe spaces are an invaluable resource for Los Angeles youths, whether or not they opt to utilise

them or acknowledge their purpose. In the current political climate, safe spaces are an invaluable resource for Los Angeles youths, whether or not they opt to utilise them or acknowledge their purpose. As for how Guiliano and Hine have reacted to their unassuming Bandcamp project taking off, they have mixed feelings. “This shit has ruined my life dude. It’s made it really good. I’ve met some of the most important people in my fucking life because of this. I tell everyone that the only celebrities I want to know are my friends,”Guiliano says. “It’s ruined my life and fixed my life for the better.” The long-term plan for Girl Pusher is short, sweet, and to the point. “I’m going to die, and Jarrod will use all of the voicemails I’ve ever left him of me getting dumped, crying, being high on drugs,” Gabby begins. “And I’ll just chop up her existing songs and make the vocals different. I’ll continue it, and no one will know she’s dead. We just won’t play shows. Everyone will think she’s alive.” If that plan doesn’t seem viable, they have a backup. Guiliano sums up an alternate ending to the Girl Pusher saga. “If we could stay in the underground and play in alleyways and piss gutters forever, I would be down.”

Yiwei Meng You step out of the car. You’re in the middle of the warehouse district. Though each building is virtually indistinct from the other, you look left to right and wave your friends in one direction. They follow you, pacing quickly towards a metal-plated industrial elevator. You push the button for “4,” and a little ring of light surrounds the number. The slow, metal moan of the cords indicates your arrival, and the muffled sound of a far off crowd welcomes you. Your destination is The Factory, or one of the many other rooms in the warehouse that have been transformed into venue space in the past year. Warehouse ownership and warrants are ever-changing, so

maneuvering the tagged halls of the building can seem labyrinthine at times, but wholly worth the impending night. One you arrive, a crumpled up five dollar bill is exchanged for an iridescent wristband with “Minty Boi Presents” printed on the side. Music booms. People smash bodies in the pit. Strangers share smiles. Cigarettes are exchanged for words of kindness. A community forms, and Minty Boi sits at the center. From Beijing, China to La Cañada Flintridge, California, Yiwei Meng has spent the past year making a name for himself in the Los Angeles DIY scene. Since his first show in April 2016, the well-loved music collective

known as Minty Boi has gathered a dedicated following of Los Angeles youths. The collective, named after a love of menthol and Camel Crush cigarettes, never had the intention of throwing more shows. “I thought it was a one-time thing. Everyone thought it was a one time thing,” Meng explains. After his initial turn out, Meng continued his booking spree. “We didn’t actually start blooming, starting to get the name out, until I consistently had house shows,” Meng says. “I had hundreds and hundreds of people coming to my house. We had warehouse shows in the summer. That shit was when we first started blowing up.” At his summer warehouse residency, Meng continued to pull notable crowds. The owner of the ware-

house was just as new to the DIY scene as Meng was, which meant that shows were completely devoid of rules. “We both didn’t know,” Meng says. “Kids would bring alcohol, tag the walls. They’d be like, ‘This is punk. This is edgy.’” With his growing reputation for warehouse shows, Meng began to branch out. He threw party bus shows, the most memorable of which was “Minty Boi and Best Friends.” The show, which took place under a since demolished bridge, featured twenty-two bands and was the quintessential DIY festival. Though Meng has continued to book warehouse shows, he’s graduated into throwing shows at reputable venues like The Smell and The Airliner.

Despite his rise in booking success, Meng’s message has remained the same. “A Minty Boi show is not a show, it’s a party,” Meng says. To guarantee that each show meets this goal, Meng goes above and beyond, booking six to eight bands a night, rather than the traditional three to four bands that is typical of DIY shows. Meng wasn’t always the up-andcoming booker he is today. His journey into the Los Angeles music scene started on Tumblr in his early high school years. “Before I came to America I listened to stuff like Katy Perry, a little bit of Eminem, that kind of stuff. Rap music, hip hop music,” Meng says. “I wouldn’t understand what they said, but I’d fuck with it.” After discovering Mac DeMarco on Tumblr, he began his journey into Los Angeles shoegaze essentials. The first real concert he ever went to was Mac DeMarco, but a show at The Smell was his first real exposure to the DIY scene. “Sean Nicholas Savage has a show at The Smell. I went there super early, an hour early, just to chill out,” Meng says. “I met him. Took a picture with him. I still have that picture on his phone.” Meng went on his first date at The Smell, and had his first ever makeout sesh. (Ooh, risque.) He’s continued to look back on that night at The Smell fondly, and has been

overjoyed to continue his involvement at The Smell. “I love The Smell. Everything is so regulated and Jim is just a great person,” Meng says. The Smell was a pivotal landmark in Meng’s youth, especially when he first moved to the United States and struggled with learning English. “I was bullied in school because I was Chinese and didn’t speak English. I was weird. I was looking really feminine. I was just not looking basic, and that was my problem,” Meng states. “I had a problem and I went to The Smell and no one gives a fuck if you speak this language or not, they’ll fuck with you.” Under this premise, Meng has made a family of the LA music scene. When asked who has supported Minty Boi, Meng has a long list. He shouts out Penniback, KXLU, Dirty Laundry, Celebrity Crush, Jim, owner of The Smell, Pauline, the owner of Pehrspace, Mike from Pehrspace, Nina and Max from Basic Flowers. Zyren and Garrett, his brothers in arms. Spencer, and the rest of his homies who have been beside him since day one. He touchingly, and sincerely, describes them as his family. However, Meng doesn’t forget his fans, “Nevermind. Forget that. Everyone. Shout out to every motherfucker who came to my shows. You’re supportive as fuck. Thank you everyone.”

With the intention of providing for his fans, he has made sure that his shows remain a safe space for anyone and everyone. In reference to his shows being safe spaces, he has one thing to say; “It’s really simple. Don’t do something stupid. Don’t do something wrong.” Meng has big plans for the future of Minty Boi, but he’s starting small. He recently organized an East Coast tour, and has high hopes for its success. “We’re going to do shows because we love music. See some bands we want to see and play with them. That’s honestly it. Make it really

simple,” Meng says. “I just want to test it out, see if I’m capable of doing this, of booking a tour.” Meng already has his sights set on post-tour goals. “The current goal right now is either Hi-Hat or Echoplex or Teragram. Three goals. Or Zebulon Cafe, that’s four,” Meng says. He thinks landing a show at a wellknown venue will take Minty Boi to the next level. Beyond that, Meng strives to solidify the Minty Boi name on a larger scale. “Be at FYF. I don’t want to sound too ambitious, but that’s it,” Meng says. “Be a bigger thing.”

“Shout out to every motherfucker who came to my shows. You’re supportive as fuck. Thank you everyone.” 37

ALBUM WATCH No by Model/Actriz

Genre: Punk/Techno Favorite Track: New Face Soundtrack to: Breaking bottles on the sidewalk. Ditching your homework because your teachers suck. Air drumming in your car. Getting road rage.

Golden Days (B-Sides) by BOYO Genre: Lo-fi Psych Dreampop Favorite Track: Mantra

Soundtrack to: Waking up and making the best breakfast you’ve ever made. Knowing that today will be amazing.

Funny by Kaiya Crawford Genre: R&B/Soul Favorite Track: Funny

Soundtrack to: Feeling yourself for the first time in weeks. New beginnings. Eating chocolate strawberries and taking bubble baths.

Fringe by Fringe, EP

Genre: Indie Rock/ Dreampop Favorite Track: Dancing Soundtrack to: Running down the street at 2 a.m. Drinking champagne in a public park. Falling in love for the first time.

I’M UUGLY by Duckwrth

Genre: Hip-hop/Rap Favorite Track: BEACH HOUSE Soundtrack to: Smoking a cigarette to yourself in the middle of the night. Watching waves crash. Those “figure out what you’re doing” moments.

Chloe Feller Feller has more to boast about than her Instagram presence. This former party princess by trade organized the first SlutWalk in Orange County, started a feminist nonprofit in high school, and was nominated for the Feminist Majority Foundation’s “Feminists You Should Know in 2013” campaign. She’s worked on music videos, worked on her own short films, and talked politics with Nadezhda Tolokonnikova from Pussy Riot. And here we were thinking she just looked remarkably good in cow print. Immediately after graduating high school, Feller moved to Los Angeles, California, which had always been part of the master scheme for her life. Her intention was to pursue a career in a profession she describes as her biggest

passion, acting. Though she never expected the transition to be easy, her move to Los Angeles brought with it a myriad of struggles. “When you grow up in acting school,” Feller says, “Something that teachers really impart on you is, ‘This can be your only thing.’ They have a very monolithic idea.” With this idea in mind, Feller arrived in Los Angeles with the intention of doing absolutely nothing besides acting. There was no way that she would sacrifice her reputation as an actor to pursue other endeavors. Ironically, Feller has branched out farther into the film industry than she ever thought she would. “I’m producing, I’m directing, I’m doing filmmaking in general,” Feller says.

“That’s the overarching thing. I’ve been able to diversify and grow with it and expand my skillset.” Her most notable accomplishment has been co-founding Red Lighter Films, a production company focused on inclusivity and showcasing underrepresented groups within film. “It’s all about producing intersectional content,” Feller explains. “We hire all diverse teams. It’s usually all, pretty much, all women and queer people and femme-presenting people and people of color. We really try to keep things as diverse as possible.” Besides just creating quality content, Red Lighter Films is a departure from the typical heteronormative, misogynistic context that dominates the world of cinema. “People who are just marginalized in the film industry, we want to uplift those voices and focus our collaborative efforts on getting the right kinds of stories, that don’t get the same screen time,” Feller explains. She attributes part of her success in the industry to her proximity to Los Angeles. “There’s no way I could do anything film related if I weren’t in LA,” Feller says. “To be 100% honest, here, because of where the industry is located, there’s so much access, just educationally and resource wise.” There’s also a certain level of com-

fort that Feller feels in being so close to Los Angeles. “I’ve always been in California in general, and always been at least closely Los Angeles adjacent,” Feller says. “That makes me feel like I’m able to create more, to create better.” Feller has a strong sense of intention when it comes to her work. This aspect of her personality branches over into her social media life, particularly on Instagram. “I definitely have the purpose of being vulnerable and being like, visibly mentally ill,” Feller says. “Being emotionally vulnerable. Being visibly queer is something very important to me. Being visible in all of my identities that are marginalized, because I think visibility is a form of resistance.” Though she believes that Instagram as a whole is insidious, she makes the conscious decision to take the good with the bad. “The greatest thing for me was being able to see people who I identify with, and people who have the courage to be visible and vulnerable in the ways that they are,”Feller says. “I want to be able to emulate that.” Despite this purpose, Feller still sees Instagram as too contrived to be taken seriously. “I am constantly, 100% of the time, gently parodying myself,” Feller admits. “I’m playing this game. It’s like Farmville, where you just get

sucked into it. You know it’s dumb, but you’ve got to water your crops.” Fortunately for Feller, her “crops” are other like-minded females. She promotes body positivity, political activism, and the stigmatization of mental illness on her account. Regardless, it can’t be denied that a portion of her followers follow Feller for a completely different reason: her wardrobe. “I really like the concept of being trailer trash. I like being like Erin Brockovich, where she’s kind of trashy, but she’s also a lawyer,” Feller says. “She’s going to wear the cheetah print and she’s taking care of business.” Feller’s inspiration doesn’t end with trailer chic. Her muses bounce around, from 80’s and 90’s porn stars to what she describes as “minimalist honey and juice cleanse lesbian.” (We can’t explain it, but we know you know.)

To those who may be hesitant about switching up their look, Feller has a few wise words to share. “Do what makes you comfortable. Just because you wear something once doesn’t mean it’s going to define you forever. Even if you take a risk and even if you’re criticized for it, nobody remembers that much,” Feller says. “Nobody is Claire from Lizzy McGuire, calling you an ‘outfit repeater’ at your graduation, I promise. No one is going to remember.” As for her future, Feller hopes to take Red Lighter Films to the next level in the near future. “We’re in the process of developing our first feature, which is fucking crazy,” Feller says. “I want to get it made and start that part of my career. And, as expected, “Being recognized as an actor. Because that is the ultimate goal.”

â&#x20AC;&#x153;I think visibility is a form of resistance.â&#x20AC;? 44

curated playlists Cole Haden

Lead singer of Model/Actriz •I’m caught up (in one night love affair)- Inner Life •Residents- Randomer •???- Migel Alvarino •Renne Falconetti of Orleans- Jenny Hval •The Hustle- Van Mccoy •Wondering- Xiu Xiu •Disconnect- Girl Pusher •Lady Love- w00dy •Just- Bicep •Good Times- Marie Davidson •Jetdentist- Lauer •Build a Fire- Young Electra •Snow- Current Joys •Queen Anna- Brennan

Kaiya Crawford Singer/Songwriter

•Star- Brock Hampton •I Can’t Speak- La Luz •Tell Me- Sabrina Claudio •The Weekend- SZA •New Face- Model/Actriz •Wednesday- Kingergardeners •Head.Cars.Bending- The 1975 •Woman- Harry Styles •Constant Headache- Joyce Manor •House of Cards- Radiohead •Fine- Fringe •Kokopelli Face Tattoo- AJJ •No Good Al Joad- Hop Along •Gone Tomorrow- The Staves •Neptune- Negro Galacticus

Personal selections from band members and Fun Nihilist staff members, for all of your listening needs. Find all these playlists and more on FunNihilist.com.

Mitsuko Orismekusa Staff Videographer

•Burzum- Dunkelheit •Crim35-Drawn •Come As You Are- Nirvana •Skin Peeler- Mortician •Folk Implosion- Jenny’s Time •Pink Flower- Daisy Chainsaw •Portishead- Glory Box •Sleep- Dopesmoker •Bauhaus- Bela Lugosi’s Dead •King Krule- Octopus •Antischism- Freedom at Last •Death- Denial of Life •Electric Wizard- Legalise Drugs and Murder •The Spooky Kids- Insect Pins

Jorge Villa

Staff Photographer

•Chanel- Frank Ocean •Big Fish- Vince Staples •39 by Design- Drab Majesty •Reverie- Arca •Trash- Death Grips •Blood on Me- Sampha •Doves In The Wind- SZA, Kendrick Lamar •T-Shirt- Migos •STAR- BROCKHAMPTON •P. Sherman (PS42WW$)- Divine Council, $ilk Money •Utopia- Austra •Panic- Forest Swords •Well ad Spring- Crying • Firing Squad- Power Trip

Weekend Essentials with Raquel Makler

Wallet: “It just has all my coins and cards and whatever the hell. My iLok for Protools. It’s got all your licenses. Protools is like a DAW, a digital audio workspace. You can record stuff into it.”

Tazer: “I used to have nunchucks under my bed for a long time but I can’t bring that with me all the time.”

Pomade: “This guy with frosted tips in a barber shop told me it was really good and he had super spiked hair, so I’ve been using it ever since.”

COMIC BY MADONNA MURPHY

Absurdist Horoscopes Absurdist Horoscopes Aquarius Jan 20- Feb 18 Nonchalant gaiety is the end goal. Pisces Feb 19-March 20 The planet is trashed and so are you. Keep it that way.

Leo July 23-August 22 The best way to make money is to disguise it as a public saftey measure. Virgo August 23- Sept 22 Spend all your grocery money on Otter Pops and regret nothing.

Aries March 21-April 19 There is no moral dilemma here. Eat the second bag of Hot Cheetos.

Libra Sept 23-Oct 22 Sleep in ramen noodle crumbs. Find a handmaiden.

Taurus April 20-May 20 Have ice cream cake at your intervention.

Scorpio Oct 23-Nov 21 Write a message in a bottle and then fill it up with vodka and burn it.

Gemini May 21-June 10 Chug some kombucha so hard and wake the fuck up.

Sagittarius Nov 22-Dec 21 Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cold when youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re having fun?

Cancer June 21, July 22 The Earth is flat. Make it known, through song.

Capricorn Dec 22-Jan 19 Watch light refract from your broken iPhone.

Check out more exclusive content, including playlists, event coverage, and full Q&A interviews on

FunNihilist.com

Instagram: @FunNihillist Twitter: @FunNihilist Spotify: funnihilist Email: edimaggio@funnihilist.com Facebook: /Funnihilist

SUPPORT AMATEUR JOURNALISM AT ITS FINEST. Credits: Emma DiMaggio: All articles and writing. Cover Image, Credit and Table of Contents Images, Jenebrith Pastran portrait, last Girl Pusher standing portrait, Yiwei Meng crowd background photo, Sold Out Show Smell photo. Jorge Villa: Film portrait of Gabby and Jarrod on first spread, first spread main portrait of Chloe, back cover portrait of Chloe. Willow Sando-McCall: Singular portraits of Gabby and Jarrod on second spread, full spread photo of Gabby performing, film photo of Gabby spitting blood, miscellaneous photos on collage page, portait of Kaiya on playlist page. Andre Bianic: Portrait of Yiwei talking on trap phone on first page. Miscellaneous photos on collage page. John Portis: Overall assistance with InDesign rendering. Created horoscope graphics. Mitsuko Orismekusa: Self portrait on playlist page. Walker DuBois: All illustrations on his spread. Illustration of items on Weekend Essentials spread. Madonna Murphy: Illustration on comic spread. Engracia Abeyta: All photos on her spread. Cameron Pagett: Portait of Cole on Album Watch page, black and white photo of Yiwei and Cole on second page Yiwei feature.

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