EVERYONE IS FIGHTING A BATTLE THAT THE OUTSIDE WORLD KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT’: NUIG student Conor Nolan talks about his new book which tackles the stigma of mental health

‘Everyone is fighting a battle that the outside world knows nothing about’

NUIG student Conor Nolan talks about his new book which tackles the stigma of mental health.

‘NORMAL’ is an open and honest book that I wrote aiming to tackle the negative stigma surrounding mental health in Ireland. Its title relates to society’s idea of what being “normal” entails. I started writing in 2019 and was lucky enough to have the final product published last September.

By Jade Tierney

They say that a picture is worth a thousand words, so a hologram, well... it’s worth the length of the bible and a dictionary combined. I’m sure the whole 191 million of you saw the Kardashian/Jenner clan celebrate Kim K’s 40th birthday last weekend. If a private plane, island, and celeb guest list doesn’t do it for you, maybe a hologram of the late Robert Kardashian will? In true Kanye fashion, the rapper gifted his wife with a message from the afterlife. In the hologram, Kim’s father addresses her directly. He reminisces over her childhood, successes and the family that she has built. Although the reality star praised her husband, taking to social media to thank him, saying, ‘’Thank you so much Kanye for this memory that will last a lifetime’’, many found it kind of creepy.

I’ll be honest, I was more so leaning on the creepy side. I find holograms of the dead a bit puppet like. We all know Kanye likes to be in control, (a bit of a puppeteer) and writing a script that included self - praise from a deceased person, didn’t sit well with me. The hologram glorifies Kanye, say-

In offering my own experiences with mental health, I want to help others who find themselves in similar situations. Through personal anecdotes and life lessons between the ages of ten and twenty, I want to assure my readers that they are not alone.

Two years ago, I found myself in a deep depression and I was in a very bad place. I was really struggling. Growing up in rural Ireland, I had always believed that mental health was a hush - hush topic. It was something we didn’t talk about and that’s the way it was.

However, I began to turn to friends of mine in a time of need and I soon noticed a pattern. It was like a domino effect – when I started to talk, somebody else would open up too. I realised that we all have our problems and that we all struggle with our mental health from time to time. This happens to everyone and it is okay to talk about it. We have to talk about it.

I am a big believer that inspiration can come from anywhere and my journey in becoming an author began in quite an unusual fashion. I was in Carbon Nightclub around Christmas time, almost two years ago now, having a heartfelt conversation with a good friend of mine. He told me some things from his past that really resonated with me.

It hit me then; we all bottle things up, particularly young men and we often take our problems to the grave. I knew that I would love to have a similar conversation with a million people. Of course, I knew this would be impossible. I did, however, realise that I could write about it instead.

That was where it all began. A double vodka in hand, I decided, ‘I’m going to write a book.’

A Gift from Heaven?

The book is set in the casual atmosphere of a ing that he is ‘’the most, most, most genius man in the world’’. Although there is a part of me that thought it was extremely heart-warming and caring, all the sentiment was cut short when Kanye narcissistically inflated his own ego. It reminded me of the Kanye mic grab back in ‘09, when the Yeezy owner stormed on stage and grabbed the mic from Taylor Swift. Except this time, it was from a hologram of his wife’s deceased father. Eliminate that aspect of the speech, I do believe Kanye’s main thought was to create this special moment for his wife and her family.

This does raise the question of whether holograms are right or wrong. Creating a hologram of a dead performer, with the sole purpose of profiting, is tacky and immoral. We all get nostalgic but I’m sure true fans can appreciate an artist’s legacy; enjoy the art they’ve given you and just let them be. My main objection is the fact that they can’t consent. Musicians like, Amy Winehouse, Michael Jackson and Tupac are among the stars that have been brought back to life for theatrical purposes. The person being projected is designed like a puphouse party with myself deep in conversation with a character whom I refer to as The Stranger. I meet this character who sits and listens to my story. He has no physical description and therefore, it is left up to the reader’s imagination. I call him The Stranger to give him a sense of open - minded anonymity.

I believe that help can come out of anywhere. You never know who will be there for you. Likewise, you never know when you might be there to help someone else. In this case, The Stranger helped me with my mental health struggles.

Throughout the book, I recollect my harrowing battle with anorexia and the impact it had on my life from the mere age of twelve. I got thrown in at the deep end with a mental health battle at such a young age. I speak about the counselling process and the mental toll it took on all aspects of my life. My journey to recovery at thirteen and fourteen sets a tone for the book going forward.

I also explore the concept of ‘being normal’, discussing the delicate nature of being yourself in an Irish society that pressures us to do the opposite. I had often heard this term called ‘the norm’. I quickly learned that rural Ireland in particular has a sort of teenage mould; you have to walk like this, talk like this and act like this. Straying away from these guidelines puts you in the crosshairs of judgement. I have learned of the difficulties of following your own goals and the art of ignoring people along the way in order to stay true to yourself. I am of the opinion that being yourself is the best investment anyone can make in themselves.

I associate every memory I’ve made over the last 21 years with a life lesson. I think I have gained some bit of wisdom along the way. My story goes pet. A sheer depiction set out by money hungry giants. I can only imagine how emotionally taxing it is seeing a passed loved one exploited like this. Again, these are real people, not Disney characters designed for theme parks.

Going back to the Kardashians. This was a gift, if you have the financial means to pull something beyond mental health. I discuss many elements of young life; bullying, academic pressure, the transition to college, break-ups, you name it. I talk about everything. Even if I can help one person, that’s enough. If I can put my whole life on paper, then hopefully someone else can open up to a friend, a relative, or a stranger as I did. I hope my book will encourage people not to bottle things up and recognise that talking about how you’re feeling can really help.

My book ‘NORMAL’ is available on Amazon in both eBook and paperback.

I would really appreciate support from my fellow NUI Galway students in sharing my story to help

others in the fighting the stigma of mental health. like this off, then what’s the harm? You can’t judge how other people decide to grieve. It wasn’t used as a money racket. This is what brought comfort to them, and other than the distasteful ‘I heart Kanye’ moment, who’s it really hurting? It was a moment shared between the family and their closest friends (and maybe Kim’s 191 million followers).