The ignored abuse of men

In a society that expects men to be incapable of being abused, stories of abuse remain unheard

*Trigger warning: this commentary contains mention of sexual assault and abuse

COMMENTARY BY PENELOPE ACEVEDO, STAFF WRITER

Abuse against men has been overlooked for decades due to a societal stigma that men are only perpetrators of such crimes, not victims. The double standard that exists when it comes to male victims is detrimental to survivors as it often jeopardizes their mental health and selfimage.

The idea that men are incapable of being victims of abuse creates a barrier where men feel they cannot speak about their stories, in turn, often pressuring them to stay in abusive situtions. For example, men may fear being seen as weak or feel concerned about how others will view them.

According to the 2017 “Man Box Study,” out of 1,328 men within the ages of 18 and 30, 72% said they have been told that “a real man behaves a certain way.” The same survey found that 59% of men agreed with the following statement:“Guys should act strong even if they feel scared or nervous inside.”

DID YOU KNOW? About one in 10 men in the U.S. have experienced sexual and physical violence by an intimate parner.

Source: CDC

Men’s mental health and how they view their masculinity is a major problem that American society often fails to recognize. The notion that masculinity is men’s most important attribute is often inscribed into their minds as children.

According to The Know, a child is most impressionable during the first five years of their life. Therefore, when caretakers encourage being emotionally reserved, the male child will likely do what he is told.

Given that many men try to display their masculinity to their friends and family, when men are abused or sexually assaulted, they may feel as if other people will view them as less masculine. This should never be the case because assault is wrong regardless of whether or not the victim is a man or a woman.

“The stigma makes men feel like no matter what happens, they will always be considered guilty if the other side of the story is being told by a woman,” freshman Gerald Escobar said. “It makes most men feel like they have to keep their mouth closed about everything that happens because if not, they will be judged or things will be turned against them.”

The workplace can also be a location where people face abuse. The “Me Too” movement, which shined a light on the abuse women face in the workplace, resulted in several highprofile cases. According to Bloomsberg, at least 425 prominent people have been publicly accused of sexual misconduct due to this movement.

Along with many other men, Actor Terry Crews shared his story during the movement. The actor received substantial backlash for speaking out. According to NPR, in interviews Crews has said people have called him a coward, weak and nothing for telling his story. This demonstrates the lack of empathy that exists when it comes to male abuse.

Further, the goal of creating a world where men can speak up about their abuse should never be done in attempts of silencing women. In some cases men will bring up male abuse by saying “well, it happens to men too” when women speak on assault and abuse, yet fail to bring up the issue any other time.

This can send the message that male abuse should only be acknowledged to silence female survivors. This back and forth motion of trying to place onegender’s struggles above the other’s is not conducive to growth for either men or women. Instead, trying to compare abuse between both genders creates an environment in which neither feel comfortable speaking up.

“People fall victim to these ideologies because they — especially men — are taught that the foundation of masculinity is the ability to suppress emotions. Thus, overtime it becomes the norm in society for a man to assert dominance over his emotional sphere, making abuse towards a man seem like an absurd concept,” senior Leandro Sierra said.

Society has recognized that male abuse is extremely disregarded, whether it be emotional or physical. Yet, just knowing about the fact does not change anything. Instead, a collective effort must be made to not discourage conversation and reject the experiences male victims, but instead do better at recognizing when we ourselves are seeing or displaying toxic masculinity.