Challenging the proposed school time

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COMMENTARY BY DILAN DENHAM 15 opinion Spotlight, moonlight, uh [REDACTDED], why you trippin’? Get your mood right Shawty look good in the moonlight, Segment from “Moonlight” XXX Tentacion. “ “ X X X

T CAN EASILY BE INFERRED that the epitome of all great meme culture stems from none other than our vro and savior, Jasheh Onfroy. Also known by his pen name, XXXTentacion, short for unknown temptations, Onfroy became without a doubt, the single most influential figure in the modern decade - specifically in the world of meme culture. Remembered for his deep lyricism within masterpieces such as “Moonlight” and “Look at Me!”, he single handedly created a new genre of emotional music known as Sad Bart Simpsonism. He was a prodigy. The world is indebted to him for the contribution he made to society, through his music and influence on the development of memes. With the historical context of the current decade, memes emerged online with the invention of the social networking website Facebook in early 2004. However, they did not become an explosively large phenomena until the early 2010s with the invention of rage comics and Pingu. As new meme formats where explored, old ones were quickly forgotten and memes started to lose all shape and form. Memes that lost all sense of formatting changed into an archaic field of nihilistic humor popularized by prank shows such as the Dobre Brothers who capitalize on this schema. A few examples to describe this archaic schema include: “The simp has fallen in love with the E-girl” or the infamous “Every female born after 1993 can’t cook. All they know is [Redacted], charge they phone, be [Redacted], eat hot chips, and lie” meme. It was not until the quick rise of XXXtentacion in early 2016 that realism was brought back to the archaism of meme culture. XXXtentacion became a unifying figure, he brought the masses together, and cured my depression. Memes finally came back to life, regaining their reality. “I do not think there is a single conceivable option other than Jahseh Onfroy’s work as an example for catalysing the reunification between logical humor and meme culture,” said physics teacher Roberto Del Valle. “Not only did his music move us with his deep lyricism, I

but the words he shared with us over Instagram live videos will never be forgotten.” It is not entirely known to this date how XXXtentacion was able to capture an entire generation throughout the 2010s, however his effect on the general populous can not be undermined. He made one of the most endearing changes to the overall meme culture, as it lost a great sense of reality in early 2016 due to the hysteria caused by Harambe’s influence. The year of 2016 would be plagued by nonsensical nihilistic humor seen in popular trends such as deep fried memes and dobre brother videos. It would only be through the grace of the most undoubtedly talented musician of the decade to bring humor back to its rightful origins. “To me, he was much more than an icon, he was this sort of essence. He just captivated me. He made us weep, laugh, and everything in between. A real Will Smith type,” senior Aidan Tamargo said. “On the rough days and nights where I needed something to look up to, he was there smiling with me. He truly became the most influential person in not only my life, but the lives of our generation. In meme culture, he was all the hype, everything we could have wanted.” When Forbes posted their unprejudiced list of the decades richest self-made American women in 2019, many were quick to point out how harshly they messed up. Not only did they fail to give XXXTentacion the number one spot for his incredible economic feats, but they falsely placed the rapper’s son Gekyume in second place behind Stormi Webster for most influential babies. However, XXXTentacion’s career as a catalyst for all things funny was unwavered. Sadly, meme culture is facing another attack on its foundations as new social media website, TikTok, has funelled archaism back into meme culture. Currently, meme hubs such as Instagram and Reddit are resisting against the surge of “normie” content — a prevalent threat that could have the power to destroy what Jahseh Onfroy created. However, his embodiment of what he stood up for can never be forgotten. Never before in our digital age has someone been able to change the face of a single generation. Onfroy became the father of new age humor. He made the masses laugh and will forever be remembered as the 2010s greatest meme. Now, we look towards the second coming of the Jah— the one and only Gekyume Onfroy. Comparing the greatness of Gekyume to his predecessor is like comparing the 2019 Honda Civic Type R to the 1999 Honda Civic two door hatchback. The differences are outlandishly clear. Gekyume has overtaken his father’s groundbreaking social influence in the short time of a few years, reaching the likes of Will Smith and Moses. The young advocate for Girls Who Code has already prestiged twice on code.org, surpassing every other user in just two years. He now spends the majority of his time in the back seat of his mom’s Chevy Tahoe with the air on listening to his favorite music. He spends this time by setting online conference calls with world leaders such as Mitt Romney, the Dobre Brothers and even my personal favorite, Michelle Obama. While on the call, he single handedly manages some of the hardest world dilemmas imaginable.

Attention Gables! To settle the debate once and for all, vote on who deserves the tite of meme of the decade using this QR code!

h Just last fall, he reasoned out that getting the high ground in Fortnite, led to higher win to loss ratios. Gekyume has become, like his father, the definition of positive social change. The world will forever be in their debt for the revolutionary changes they made to the comedic scene. Gone are the days of normie viners, gone are the days of private posts appearing in your group chat and finally, gone are the days of Timothy Chalamet. We now wait patiently, for the bright future in meme culture to thrive and create new trends to fill our incessant souls.

The problem with college admissions As students face stress and high expectations, the college admissions process only worsens the school experience

COMMENTARY BY ESTELLE ERWICH

Statistics, this is especially prevalent for those looking to apply to an Ivy League university or other upper-tier college. Between 2007 and 2018, Cornell University saw a 17 percent decline in applicants, the University of Pennsylvania saw an 11 percent decline, and Harvard University dropped four percent, leaving them at an infinitesimal 5.9 percent acceptance rate. This increasingly small chance at admission has created a manic culture among applicants, transforming into an often four-year-long race between classmates to create the profiles which will result in acceptance letters. This panic does not only apply to the three percent of 18-yearolds who seek acceptance to these schools, but to the greater population as a whole. Even for students who might previously only apply to one or two in-state schools, the increased competition among students vying for admittance leads many to feel the need to apply to many more universities than they actually deem necessary. The competitive aspect also bleeds into the mind of the student who wishes to stay in-state, as some universities become labelled and known as being “better” or “worse” than others. The TTENTIONgrabbing i n t r o d u c t o r y s e n t e n c e . Hilarious, relatable anecdote. Explanation of hardship or proof of ability to change the world. General humblebragging. Callback to original anecdote. This is the formula my mind seems to currently be trained to write in, as I leave the months-long supplementary purgatory that is the college application process. It is the formula for success as seen on CollegeVine and PrepScholar, accompanied by stories hailing from previous applicants who ensure that if you write just one more essay, score one more point, achieve one more hour of community service, you too can be admitted to the college of your dreams. This acceptance does not stand alone, of course - it entails the feelings of validation and achievement that the college admissions process has come to represent. Yet as these attitudes increase, and students apply to growing amounts of universities, the facts remain: college acceptance rates are plummeting, the admissions process is a deeply subjective and random system, and the idea that university acceptance will lead to success and validation is a farce, one which only leads to stress, unrealistic expectations, and a misconstrued sense of the purpose of our education. The reality is that college admissions rates are plummeting, due both to their selectivity and an ever-growing applicant pool. According to a report by Ivy Coach increasing pressure placed on students to attend elite colleges can often lead to those who choose to remain close to home and attend community college to feel inadequate or that their life path is less legitimate than others. Whether a student aspires towards a community college, state university or an Ivy League institution, the pressure - in the form of hordes of competitors, dwindling acceptance rates, increased levels of stress, high expectations and a desire to feel achievement - is on. This pressure, which leads students to endure four years of nights spent doing homework, countless hours spent in sports and clubs and nail-biting minutes sat at standardized testing desks, stems from the sense of importance that the educational system has placed upon attending a reputable university. The desire to attend a high ranking school is not only rooted in dreams of grandeur and success, but also in the raw statistics of an increasingly competitive time. Studies have found that as careers in the past decade have evolved, employers no longer view job applicants through the simple dichotomy of college educated or not college educated. According to economics professor and researcher Caroline Huxby, a degree is no longer a guarantee of securing a job, with differing levels of occupational opportunity and success available to college graduates based on the prestige of the university they attended, with an advantage to those with a name brand degree. Students are willing to pay the price to ensure this, one which the educational system has taught them comes in the form of a gruelling high school and college experience, a prestigious degree and most likely, one hundred thousand dollars in student debt. And while it is fair to say that a desire for success which could entail Did you know? 19.9 million students attended colleges and universities in 2019. Source: National Center for Education Statistics A

opposable thumbs

Cats

“It was a sensual experience.”

-Sara Ebrahimi, Staff Writer

World War 3

“Road trip to Iran with the homies? say less”

HP laserjet 2035

“Name a better printer I dare you”

such extremes is self-inflicted, it is equally valid to recognize the role which our current educational, and college admissions system plays in influencing us towards these goals. The importance, exclusivity, and prestige of which these institutions brag, coupled with a growing emphasis on the ‘necessity’ of attending college and a generation of type-A overachievers, has enshrined college acceptance as something it should not be. Instead of marking the beginning of a new chapter, it now must be an end to that of one’s highschool years, indicative of the worth of a student’s previous efforts and overall intelligence. As Alia Wong, reporter for the Atlantic, writes, the current stigmas regarding the importance of college acceptance is “...Convincing [students] that attending a prestigious school is paramount. And critics say that mania has even spread into and shaped American culture, often distorting kids’ (and parents’) values, perpetuating economic inequality, and perverting the role of higher education in society as a whole.” Some argue that college acceptances are not unhealthy to students’ morale or mental health, as they are an accurate reflection of the time and effort devoted to success in high school and beyond. Students should suck it up, accepting however acceptances and denials play into their self-confidence, as they are receiving a result that is indicative of what their work deserves. Yet while students wait upon envelopes and emails to find out if their dedication, work ethic, and energy has paid off, the actual process behind college admissions is much less wholesome, holistic or fair - in fact, it is extremely subjective, and much of it is up to chance. Watching the Bloomberg produced Youtube video entitled “College Admissions: Inside the Decision Room,” is like watching a college applicant’s worst nightmare unfold. The 2013 video details the application decision process for students wishing to attend Amherst College, a prominent liberal arts college in Massachusetts. In the video, the school’s admissions officers deliberate over which students to accept and which to waitlist, spending minutes on each profile and making choices out of their own subjective judgement. When speaking on the flaws of the subjectivity of the process, Dean of Admissions Tom Parker admits, “there are times, honestly, where I don’t know why I put my hand up or fail to put my hand up… I’m kind of going with my gut here.” Unfortunately, for many students, their years of hard work and sleepless nights, will come down to some faceless deliberator’s gut feeling, their mood that day or their own assumptions and predispositions towards different types of students. So

while this admissions process is touted as and believed to be a rite of passage of those who are, by any judgement, great, it is in reality unreliable and susceptible to personal bias, snap decision making, or even, in the case of the Varsity Blues scandal, wads of cash. The stress and expectations which students nationwide are subjected to is one dependent on an unreliable, five minute review. This dependence on college admissions for a sense of success or self worth is significantly harming students as well, leading to increased rates of stress, depression, and other health issues. With mounting pressure and intense expectations - from others and oneself - students submit themselves to a process of evaluation which often leads them to feeling inadequate or less than. Our generation is increasingly vocal about feeling lost, depressed, and scared — perhaps this is because before our educational system encourages us to be people, they encourage us to be machines that evolve from perfect applicant, to perfect student, to perfect worker. We begin to equate our self-worth to a 4.0 scale or a number of check marks on a to-do list. But beyond this, the self-centered attitude which is required to succeed in this intense process is changing our values as a whole. As we play to win in a system that requires us to be competitive and inherently egotistical, it is shown that our generation is losing its sense of compassion and community-based prioritization of others. The Making Caring Common Project is a set of research studies done by the Harvard Graduate School of Education which report on the content of the current generation’s moral values, as well as that which influence it. The study found that 60 percent of youth surveyed valued achievement over caring for others, with a larger percent of students valuing achievement even over their general happiness. This has been influenced by strong generational trends, as students were three times more likely to agree than disagree with the statement that their parents were more concerned about them getting good grades than with them being a caring community member. The pressure to succeed, oftentimes culminating in chasing college acceptance, is not only debilitating students with stress, but interfering in their values and sense of self. The current exclusivity and overinflated sense of prestige built into the college admissions process is disrupting the lives of students, as well as interfering in the overall goals of our educational system. h

Kevin’s Korner Build your own Korner!: (Your title)

For generations, (noun; plural) have (verb; past tense) our society. My solution? (noun; plural). No longer will we endure the (adjective) (noun; plural), we will be free. Why do I seek to (verb) the (place)? It’s simple: it all started when I met (name). When (pronoun) introduced me to the (adjective) (noun), I instantly (verb; past tense) my (noun; plural). After (pronoun) (verb; past tense) me for the second time, I (verb; past tense) (pronoun). Now we had a plan to (verb) the (occuapation; plural). To combat the (noun), who would only ever tell us “You can’t (verb) thats too (adjective)!” We had to stay on top of the game. Having covered our (noun; plural) we now moved on to phase two of the (adjective) plan. We began constructing the (invention). This (invention) would (verb) all of (noun), making (place) a utopia. Speaking of (Favorite item of cutlery), how (adjective) is it? It has so many uses, such as (verb) or (verb) or even (verb)! In my utopia, the only way to eat food will be using (favorite cutlery). Goodbye (inferior cutlery), there is a new (authority position) in town. Good luck eating (food) with a (favorite cutlery) idiot, (food) sucks anyway. After we rid the (place) of (noun; plural), we will move onto our next quest: (noun). We must restructure, and it starts with (noun; plural). (Teacher) will be installed as the head of (place) government, with a strict policy of (verb ending in -ing) (group). Finally (fictional oppressed group) will rise to the top of the hierarchy, with (favorite cutlery; plural) in hand. Mad Libs are hard to write. h COMMENTARY BY (YOUR NAME)