The expectation of life in your 20's

Shaniece O'Keeffe

Advice Editor

People tend to describe your 20’s as the ‘best time of your life’. This for some is true, but for a lot of people life can be overwhelming when trying to keep up to the narrative that this is the most exciting and happiest time. How many people when they were children said they wanted to have a partner by 18 and be married with a house at 25? This narrative needs to change. It can be so unhealthy and damaging, and can often leave people with a lack of self- confidence in how they are doing as a young person and it creates a negative outlook on how you see yourself and others.

Life doesn't work on a schedule. People go to universities at different times of their lives, people get parttime jobs and graduate jobs at different times of their life. Just because your life doesn’t match up or your path looks a little different it isn't something to dwell on. Perhaps your life consists of being in bed by 10pm, focusing more on having a routine over preferring to go out drinking and having fun with friends. Remember whatever you are doing and however you decide to spend your life, it is ok that it's different to others. Personally, at the age of 22 I can't party 3 times a week like I did during my first few years of university. I don't think that makes me boring. I have conversations with myself that I could have been going out drinking more and enjoying myself and why has that changed? Why have I changed?

I’ve come to the conclusion that the things that make me happy and have a positive impact on my mental health look a little different. Having a part-time job, focusing on my master's course, finding a healthy morning routine and enjoying exploring new places has taken over that priority. For me, going out a few times al mindset, is the prize that comes with feeling the burn and is worth all the pain the Stairmaster may put you through. Once you get into any form of fitness, over the course of the year you will find yourself slowly, but surely getting addicted to the feeling your brain rewards you with after. This in itself is enough to create a long-standing relationship with exercise that overall improves your mental wellbeing and state of mind.

life to others'

If going to the gym is not your thing then perhaps a park run is the one for you, and if the prospect of a park run seems like your worst nightmare then perhaps Pilates is more up your street. Your yearly fitness goals are YOUR yearly fitness goals and so they shouldn’t mirror that of an international body builder if you have never lifted weights before. The basis of exercise is that it gets your body moving, and however you may express this doesn’t matter, as long as you find the best way for you.

a month is all I need at this stage. That's not to say my life will always be like that, but the main focus is understanding that life changes, we change and that's not a bad thing and it shouldn't affect the way you see your life.

Set yourself goals because they are attainable to you and not because they're socially accepted by society. It's hard with social media being so

It can be so unhealthy and damaging, and can often leave people with a lack of selfconfidence" important in most young people's lives as it encourages you to compare yourself to others, which can often cause negative feelings towards yourself. Social media highlights only the best parts, we all struggle. Remember not everyone is securing their dream job, not everyone is living with a perfect healthy lifestyle every day. We all have our off days, and most people won't be living their dream life right now. Remember that's okay and whether you struggle with your mental health, your confidence or this idea that you aren't doing enough, life changes day to day and its ok if you aren't where you thought you would be. With enough motivation and perseverance in life, things will fall into place. Life will make sense once you let go of this supposed universal timeline of what you should be doing in your 20s.

Set yourself goals because they are attainable to you and not because they're socially accepted by society"