Gair Rhydd - Issue 827

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ISSUE 827 NOVEMBER 13 2006

CARDIFF’S STUDENT WEEKLY free word - EST. 1972

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Crank up the wireless, it’s Xpress radio!

Media page 13

on, a x o C m a h a r G PLUS: l and ia c e p s l a iv t s film fe Psychic Dave

UP IN ARMS

Do Cardiff University invest in arms manufacturers?

They say no, but key information suggests otherwise Katie Kennedy News Editor SHOCKING new figures showing the number of British universities that hold investments in arms manufacturers, including Cardiff University, have been released to gair rhydd.

As of August 10 Cardiff University owned almost £170,000

shares in two of Britain’s top ten arms companies. Over half of this was invested in BAE systems, which describes itself on it’s website as the “largest European defence company’ and a ‘top 10 US defence company.” £83,880 was invested in the Smiths Group, which manufactures aircraft and engines for the US and UK’s military.

The anti-arms group, the Campaign Against the Arms Trade (CAAT), gained access to the information using the Freedom of Information Act. However, despite releasing this information to CAAT, the University deny that they have any shares in BAE systems and the Smiths Group.

A spokesman said: “The

University does not hold shares in the companies listed. These are pooled funds managed indirectly.”

The University claims that, because the shares are managed by an external company, this does not contravene their ethical practices.

“The University employs external managers to invest its assets and these managers have discretionary powers to invest in shares,” added

the spokesman.

“The University has ethical practices; and its main bank accounts are held with the Co-operative Bank which is known for its policy of ethical investment.”

However, critics may point to the fact that the “external managers’ who make such investments are still employed by the University.

Despite attempts by student campaigns to stop universities investing in arms companies, 45 universities still hold shares in the UK top ten arms companies as of August, totalling £15million between them.

Three universities own shares in the top ten worth over £1million each.

University College London owns the most worth £1,591,627, closely followed by Trinity Hall, Cambridge worth £1,252,000 and Liverpool £1,215,000.

CAAT hopes that its university campaign will ensure universities sell their shares in arms investments and that they adopt ethical investment policies.

CAAT spokesman, Symon Hill, said: “CAAT is supporting student campaigns at universities throughout Britain. We believe that campaigns are most successful when led by students themselves.

“We are very happy to give advice and practical support to students at Cardiff campaigning on this issue.

“The arms trade fuels war and perpetuates poverty. It is not something that a reputable place of learning should be supporting.

“Last year students in Bangor, London and St Andrews persuaded their universities to get rid of their arms shares.

“They took on the arms companies and won. I'm confident that students at Cardiff can win too.”

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Oxford: open to the highest bidder?

At

a glance

EDITOR Perri Lewis DEPUTY EDITOR Sophie Robehmed ASSISTANT TO THE EDITOR Elaine Morgan CREATIVE EDITOR Graeme Porteous NEWS Adam Millward, Helen Thompson, Jo Dingle, Katie Kennedy POLITICS Andy Rennison EDITORIAL AND OPINION Ed Vanstone, Georgie SPORT Dave Menon, George Pawley LISTINGS Jenna Harris, Rosaria Sgueglia TELEVISION TV Gareth, TV Jane, TV John, TV Neil, TV Ellen, TV Ryan LETTERS Rachel Clare GRAB Kayleigh Excell, Lisa Hocken TAF-OD Huw Pritchard SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT Ceri Morgan MEDIA Aline Ungewiss, Nadia Bonjour HEALTH Liz Stauber JOBS AND MONEY Gill Roberts PROBLEM PAGE Grace De Ville FIVE MIN FUN Lara Bell PICTURE EDITOR James Perou SUB EDITORS Cathal McMahon, Andrew Styles PROOF READERS Kieran Harwood, Andy Rennison, Jenna Weeks, Rachel Greenwood, Lorna Hull, Lucy Neal, Phillip Jones, Bryony Tallack CONTRIBUTORS Tom Williams, Corinne Rhoades, William Taylor, Emma Jones, Samantha Shillabeer, Lucy Higgins, Katie Stuart, Charlie Nicholls, Huw Thomas, Natalie Parkinson, Lee MaCaulay, James Stileman, Jennifer Colgan, Abigail Whittaker, Steve Myerscough, Matthew Horwood, Richard Williams, Victoria Lane, Huw Davies, Lucy Apampa, Chris Croissant, Ed Pitchforth, Han Windsor, Rachel McWhinney, Nicki Menage, James Wheeler, Marianne Fisher, Jon-Paul Phillips, Adam Tudor, Alex Joannides, James Clifford, Scott d’Arcy, Lizzie Hawes, Matt Chamberlain, Alex Marflow ADDRESS University Union, Park Place Cardiff, CF10 3QN ADVERTISING 02920 781 474 EMAIL gairrhydd@gairrhydd.com WEB www.gairrhydd.com LOCATION 4th Floor Students’ Union

OXFORD UNI: Under new management? INSET: John Hood

Corinne Rhoades Reporter ONE OF Britain’s leading universities has found itself in conflict this week after controversial plans to modernise the institution.

Oxford’s 900-year-old tradition as a self-governed university is under threat as vice-chancellor John Hood proposed to change the way it is managed.

A bid to allow businessmen and politicians to take responsibility for the university has come under fire from academics who believe Oxford should not be left in the hands of non-university employees.

Colin Thompson, a fellow at St. Catherine’s College expressed concern that Oxford would be too heavily influenced by the outsiders’ financial advantage.

He said: “The council will ultimately hold the purse strings – whoever

controls the purse strings, controls the show.”

John Hood, however, maintained that the changes were “essential”, and that without the financial aid, Oxford could not compete with the world’s top universities.

Supporters of the proposals have criticised its opponents for being too “nostalgic”, insisting: “Nobody wants to run Oxford like a business.”

However, these claims come after the university’s £2million gift arrangement with the Saudi Arabian defence minister to help speed up the application process for ten of the country’s scholarship students.

The deal, made between Oxford and Saudi’s Prince Sultan University (PSU), agrees that 10 of PSU’s finest students would be ensured a place at suitable colleges in the University and is said to be not legally binding.

Nevertheless, fresh fears about favouritism in the institution have been

raised by senior academics who worry the gift will “blur fundraising and academic objectives at the university” as well as forcing Oxford to accept less students in future. Similar agreements have also been made with other international universities.

Oxford undergraduate Sarah Hewerdine was angry that students would be able to get into the university “irrespective of their academic merit when there are thousands of students who have earned the right to Oxford entrance through sheer hard work and without any help”.

University sources insisted, however, that students participating in the arrangement would have to meet the admissions requirements “in the same way as any other student”.

Cardiff considers changing popular journalism degree Samantha Shillabeer Reporter

PHOTO: SARAH DAY

November 13 2006 1 News Editorial & Opinion 9 12 Letters 13 Media 17 Interviews 18 Health 19 Jobs & Money 21 Politics Science/Environment 22 25 Television 33 Problem Page 35 Five Minute Fun 37 Grab 38 Listings 40 Sport

BUTE: No more NCTJ?

STUDENTS hoping to study for a postgraduate degree in Journalism could face a dilemma due to a decline in the number of universities offering courses accredited by The National Council for the Training of Journalists (NCTJ).

City University in London, one of the most respected universities for budding journalists, has recently chosen to disassociate itself from the NCTJ, and now Cardiff University and the University of Central Lancashire are considering the same move.

This could cause problems for graduates hoping to enter the media industry as NCTJ accredited courses

are highly valued by employers, who can be certain that graduates have passed exams in key areas of journalism.

The NCTJ exams cover topics such as journalism law and ensures that students are taught short-hand.

City University claim that these exams are too limited, and have chosen to set their own syllabus for students.

Cardiff’s Postgraduate Diploma in Newspaper Journalism is currently accredited by the NCTJ, and there are fears that the course could lose applicants if it chooses to take the same path as City. One Cardiff student said: “I was planning on applying to do the Cardiff course, but if it’s not going to be NCTJ accredited I’d have to seriously consider whether it’s worth bothering.”

Operation: Hospital William Taylor Reporter WALES’ BIGGEST hospital is running an emergency simulation exercise to see how well it would cope in the event of an industrial or terrorist incident.

The exercise, which was carried out in October, tested the emergency responses at the University Hospital of Wales, where staff were made to wear full body suits and protective clothing.

Hospital staff, police and the fire services were required to deal with ‘casualties’ from chemical, biological or nuclear contamination.

Clayton Blight from the Welsh Ambulance Service Trust said: “The idea is that six people will present themselves at the hospital suffering from the effects of an unknown contamination at a city centre paint shop, complaining of coughing, sneezing and feeling unwell.”

Blight reassured that: “It won’t affect the running of the hospital but we don’t want to frighten anyone either.”

HOSPITAL: Ready for action

Lecturers in need Emma Jones Reporter A NEW CHARITY has been set up to support stressed lecturers in Welsh Universities.

The charity Teacher Support Network has teamed up with the University and College Union to form the College and University Support Network.

The group will provide a number of free services, including: 24/7 telephone counselling, online coaching and fact sheets, and money advice on grants and loans.

This comes as UCU claims 62% of lecturers are thinking about moving to work abroad, citing bureaucracy, an overwhelming workload, poor management and external interference as the main reasons for emigrating.

Patrick Nash, chief executive of the network, said CUSN “can really meet the needs of the Further Education/Higher Education workforce in tackling issues such as stress, and difficult relationships”.

Sally Hunt, UCU general secretary, added: “Universities must take the lead on this issue of excessive workloads or we risk losing a generation of talented academics to the private sector or abroad.”

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Binfire night Lucy Higgins Reporter

ABLAZE: Damage and danger

THREE WHEELIE BINS were set alight in Roath in the early hours of Friday November 3, causing hundreds of pounds worth of damage, and putting numerous residents in danger.

The fires, in Mackintosh Place, were started deliberately but as yet it is unknown as to who is responsible.

Chris Lloyd, a fourth-year engineering student was awoken at 3am to hear someone banging on the door of the house he shares with four other students. Believing the person to be a drunk student, he waited until they’d left, then noticed a flickering orange light outside.

Lloyd assumed that it was coming from the pedestrian crossing outside the house, but when he went to investigate, found a four-foot fire blazing from his wheelie bin.

The bin was against the wall of their house next to a bedroom, so primary concern was

for the student sleeping in that room.

Lloyd said: “Within the minute it took to bang his door and get him up, the fire was even bigger and his window had cracked.”

They then called the fire brigade, but learnt that a passing taxi driver had already alerted them, and the fire brigade arrived shortly after to extinguish the flames.

It was at this point that Lloyd and his housemates learnt that theirs’ was not the only wheelie bin targeted. The contents of an industrial metal bin were also set alight, and rubbish bags on the same road were found burnt the following morning.

The incident was one of several dangerous pranks carried out over the last week, coinciding with Bonfire Night. On the same night, numerous wing mirrors were damaged on the road, despite the existence of the ‘Mackintosh Place Community Group’, which is aimed to keep the area trouble-free.

BINFIRE: What a load of rubbish

Keeping Cardiff tidy Students urged to tidy up and make a difference

GETTING INVOLVED: Councillor Elgan Morgan, Executive Member for Environment and Transport, James Woodroof, Athletic Union President and Des Mason, South Wales Fire and Rescue Service.

CARDIFF IS in the top 10 in this year’s Clean Britain awards.

Students’ Union Vice President, Ed Jones said: “The fact that Cardiff has made the top ten is a great achievement, and our students will lead the way to ensure victory.

We are proud of our involvement in this project with the Council and look forward to seeing everyone playing their part and working together with us in this community-

Hollywood stars come to Wales

Lohan and Knightly set to star in film about Welsh poet Katie Stuart Reporter HOLLYWOOD stars Lindsay Lohan and Keira Knightley are set to star in film about Welsh poet Dylan Thomas.

Thomas, who was born in Swansea in 1914, is probably most famous for his work ‘Milk Under Wood’, but he also published short stories, film scripts and conducted radio broadcasts in his lifetime.

Lohan is to play the role of Thomas’ wife Caitlin, while Knightley will portray his childhood friend Vera Phillips.

‘The Best Time of Our Lives’ is the title given to the film which is set in New Quay, Wales, in 1945.

The story centres around a dramatic real-life attack on Thomas by Phillip’s husband William Killick. After an argument in a pub over Thomas’ friendship with his wife, Killick opened fire on Thomas’ home with a machine gun and grenades.

The film explores the events that led up to the incident and its effect on the Thomas family, who soon after moved from their home in Wales.

The film is reportedly being written by Knightley’s mother, playwright Sharman Macdonald and will be directed by John Maybury, who directed the 2005 film ‘The Jacket’.

The roles of Thomas and Killick are yet to be cast, but it is reported that filming will start in Wales in April next year.

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BEST TIME OF OUR LIVES: Stars come to Wales

wide effort to improve the cleanliness of Cardiff.

Everyone can make a difference by joining in litter-picks and, of course, at home by using the litter bins provided and putting their waste out on the kerb-side on the correct collection day.”

People interested in helping with such campaigns should contact Ed Jones, or visit him on the third floor of the Students’ Union.

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NUS Wales president resigns Jo Dingle News Editor

BAR: Battling mice infestation

Mouse run

THE PRESIDENT of NUS Wales has resigned unexpectedly.

In a statement by NUS Wales released last week, Jamie McIndo cited ‘personal and family commitments’ as the reasons for his resignation.

The resignation follows the abrupt departure of James Knight from the same office this time last year on the grounds of ill health.

Preparations are being made for the election of a new president, however as the resignation has come a month into the first semester, it may be difficult for traditional candidates to stand.

Sabbatcial officers in Students’ Unions around Wales are already tied

Matt Horwood Reporter

RODENTS were spotted scurrying through a busy City pub on Thursday evening.

Customers at The Central bar left horrified after seeing mice darting beneath chairs and tables.

Members of the Cardiff Castle Garrison society were enjoying a social evening at the Wetherspoons pub when they heard screams from other customers.

“There was a mouse scurrying across the floor…We stood up to look, not screaming and just chatting quietly.

“The manager told us to sit down and if we didn’t like it that we could leave as the problem was under control.”

The society has said that they were disappointed by the abrupt attitude of staff and has said that they will now be looking for a new venue to hold their meetings.

“We will not be going to that particular Wetherspoons again and I would urge others to consider boycotting it for the bad attitude,” said the society secretary.

Customers were asked to move downstairs as staff sealed off the upper floor to investigate the problem.

One customer, who wanted to remain anonymous, said: “I was horrified. A lot of people eating there had seen them.”

In a separate incident the following Saturday, another student drinking in the Central Bar claims to have seen one of the bar staff walking down the stairs from the first floor, with yet another mouse, held between his hand and a pint glass.

Eddie Gershon, spokesman for the Wetherspoons pub in Windsor Place has acknowledged the problem.

He said: “We’ve had a problem with rodents in recent months.

“We’ve tried to solve it by contacting pest control and we’re not certain where they’re coming from.

“Environmental Health is fully aware of that but there’s no problem with the kitchen.”

Last month gair rhydd reported on rodents at city cinema, Cineworld, where mice were reportedly feeding on popcorn dropped by customers.

SENTENCED TO UWIC

UWIC opens its doors to help rehabilitate prisoners Charlie Nicholls Reporter

PRISONERS ON THE road to rehabilitation are being given the opportunity to have a fresh start in society through university.

The University of Wales institute (UWIC), alongside the prison service, is running a scheme whereby appropriate candidates have been given work placements within various departments.

The Cardiff school of sport at Uwic is currently working with Mr Jarvis, 39, of Blaenavon who was jailed for wounding with intent.

As a former professional rugby

player his skills have been put to good use.

Lecturer and gym manager, Dai Watts, said: “Paul Jarvis is completing an eight-week work placement with us. He has a range of responsibilities, going through programmes with people in the gym and shadowing other staff members.”

Mr Jarvis was full of praise for the scheme, stating: “I’ve been to the bottom end – this is my way out.”

However not everyone is as enthusiastic about the scheme.

Abby Redley, a speech and language student, expressed concerns about the types of offenders who might find a placement.

She said: “If it was a man who had beaten up his girlfriend, then on a personal level I could feel more vulnerable.”

Other students have even more pressing concerns about the criminals.

Charlotte Mian, 23, a sociology student said: “The only problem I can see is if there were any paedophiles working here, as there are children who come to UWIC with their mothers.”

For the time being though, the project appears to have had a positive impact and helped to raise aspirations. As one participant said: “I see this as an opportunity and a doorway to the next phase of my life.”

to their position until the summer and so could not stand unless they also resign from their positions. Students enrolled in degrees may also find it hard to get a year off from their course when they have already completed almost two months of study.

The same situation was faced this time last year after Knight’s departure.

NUS Wales is now considering what to do next and liaising with the members of the NUS Executive as well as NUS UK. The statement continues: “NUS Wales continues to represent the concerns and interests of students in Higher and Further Education across Wales and until a replacement is elected, Mr McIndo’s responsibilities will be carried out by other Officers within NUS Wales.”

Nottingham halls president cleared of rape Huw Thomas Reporter A FORMER STUDENT president has walked free from court, after a jury cleared him of raping a drunk fresher.

Jonathan Hagan, a 22-year-old former Maths undergraduate at Nottingham University, was president of his accuser’s hall of residence when the incident was alleged to have taken place.

Since the trial, the 20-year-old woman has warned other students about having sex when they are intoxicated.

During the case it emerged she was so drunk, she could barely walk.

She claimed she remembered nothing of the attack, but woke the following morning to find his mobile phone number and the slogan ‘I pulled the president’ written on her stomach in red ink.

In court, Hagan admitted he had been ‘morally wrong’ to have sex with a woman while he held a trusted position on campus.

The verdict comes as the Government prepares to rewrite rape laws, giving greater protection to women who are drunk. Consent could be redefined to mean a woman who is completely intoxicated cannot be deemed to have agreed to intercourse.

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KEY-LET OFF Protest called off as last minute talks are a success

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WHAT WAS supposed to be a ‘peaceful’ protest outside Keylet last Wednesday turned out to be a rather somewhat non-existent one.

However, it was far from uninteresting.

After emergency talks on Monday night between Greg Clark and the executive of Keylet, Peter Vidler, lasting a lengthy one and a half hours, they were able to come to an ‘amicable agreement’. This caused a cancellation of Tuesday’s protest.

Posters have been installed in their window about the return of bonds, particularly for the benefit of first years considering houses for the upcoming year.

A group of students who missed out on the email did make the protest and

were able to talk to Greg Clarke themselves, who said: “There have been errors from both parties regarding my specific case. Keylet have agreed to change its policies and have phoned everybody who finished in June about why they had not got their bond back.

“Normally, if people are owed a bond, Keylet do not go round chasing people, but now if 21 days has expired they have agreed to call up to tell you the information you are missing from the checklist.

“The bond will now be immediate when you leave. If anybody has outstanding issues with them, now is the time to go in.

“We have done everything we have set out to do; we have got our bond back, got press coverage; we are all very happy.”

Greg Clarke insisted that if improvements do not occur, tenants should feel free “to make a stand”.

CARDIFF’S STUDENT WEEKLY free word - EST. 1972

Politics joins Science and Environment for one week only to investigate the politics of climate change

BORAT! iew The interv

ISSUE 826 NOVEMBER 06 2006

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e 17 page

A BIG G LET DOWN? Student to hold public protest against letting agency Helen Thompson News Editor A CARDIFF student has gone to extreme measures to express his dissatisfaction with his letting agency.

Greg Clark, a 23-year-old UWIC student, is planning to stage a protest outside the Keylet offices on Wednesday, November 4 at 4pm.

The postgraduate has been rallying support from the student body by wearing an ‘I hate Keylet tshirt’ on nights out.

Clark claims that his bond was withheld for five months after he moved out of the flat he rented, which was situated directly above Keylet’s offices.

Although a percentage of his bond was returned to him on November 2 while gair rhydd was taking photographs of him in his

campaign gear, his intends to go ahead with the peaceful protest.

He expects to be joined by other students who feel discontented with the service provided to them by the letting agency.

Since deciding to take action he has been handing out leaflets to local residents and asking for accounts of their renting experiences.

He said: “I’m overwhelmed by the response. There’s a lot of interest in the protest, with people even leaving their details under the windscreen wipers of my car, and pulling me aside in pubs to tell me their stories.”

The UWIC student claims that him and his housemates’ bonds, which amounted to over £1,000, were not repaid promptly, as Clark had not provided proof that his council tax had been paid in full.

He claims that Keylet did not tell them about this until he sent

them a letter of action drafted by his lawyer.

He added: “They didn’t bother to get in touch with me to let me know why I hadn’t received my bond back. I had to chase them, and the people responsible never returned one of my calls in the entire five months, so as a last resort I sent a letter of action.”

“Even though I received some of my bond back this week I think I am still owed money. Keylet have charged me £100 for cleaning bills because our flat was left apparently messier than when we moved in.

This wasn’t the case so we should not have to foot the bill.”

Peter Vidler, Director of Keylet, said: “We returned Clark’s bond to him within the terms of his contract - once we had been provided with evidence that all bills had Story Continues on Page 5

GREG: Before the talks. INSET: How we reported it last week

Taking its toll

Church gates cause dispute Welsh star Charlotte is forced to get restrospective planning for her grand design CHARLOTTE CHURCH is involved in a dispute with Cardiff City Council after erecting a 16ft high fence without planning permission.

The singer turned television star erected an extra wooden fence on top of the 10ft high metal gates at her house in Llandaff which she shares with Welsh rugby international Gavin Henson.

“The fence is over two metres high so it needs planning permission,” said a Cardiff Council spokesman.

GUARDIAN STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE YEAR

PHOTO: SARAH DAY

Natalie Parkinson Reporter

Charlotte has now lodged a retrospective planning application in an attempt to keep the fences intact.

Officials are now expected to inspect the construction and gather views from local residents on the structure before Church will find out whether it can stay.

One neighbour, Louise Pletcher, said: “I generally don’t mind. She presumably wants her privacy and it doesn’t bother me.”

Another local, who asked not to be named, added: “I really don’t mind at all.”

Adam Millward News Editor REGULAR COMMUTERS between England and Wales are up in arms over the proposed new cost to cross the Severn Bridge.

From January 2007, the cost for cars will rise from £4.90 to £5.10, sparking claims that the toll has turned into an “anti-Welsh tax’ which is unfairly penalising Welsh businesses.

Under the new price system, set out by the Severn River Crossing (SRC) last week, the cost for vans will increase to £10 and for lorries, to £15.

Brynle Williams, Conservative AM, described the toll rises as a tax

on the “motorist”, on the “economy” and on “Wales”.

He said: “This is an anti-Welsh tax. It’s discouraging people from coming here.

“People will say it’s only a fiver [but if a business] uses the bridge every day, we could be talking about thousands of pounds a year.”

John McGoldrick, of the National Alliance Against Tolls, said the fee should be abolished.

“Earlier this year it was the 40th anniversary of the first bridge, and the tolls. It is time this tax was removed.”

The toll increases are based on inflation, and are linked to the Retail Price Index (RPI). Last January, the price for cars rose from £4.80 to

£4.90, meaning that this year’s overall rise is 30 pence.

The company which manages the bridges is obligated to end the tax, once the construction costs have been repaid. This is forecasted to happen around 2014.

Defending the increases, general manager of the operating company, Jim Clune, said: “SRC amends the tolls at the start of each year in strict compliance with the Severn Bridges Act 1992 and upon order from the Secretary of State.

“The Act sets down the precise method and base prices for setting toll levels.

“The adjustment to next year’s tolls levels, like this year, is in accordance with RPI.”

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Cardiff University mourns

KATHERINE: She sings songs

Kathrine’s not singled out

Staff and students mourn the loss of Hadyn Ellis, the deputy Vice-Chancellor William Taylor Reporter

THE DEPUTY vice-chancellor of Wales’ top university has died of cancer, aged 61. Professor Hadyn Ellis had held the post at Cardiff University for five years.

Ellis died on Thursday November 2, 2006.

Cardiff University’s vice-chancellor Dr. David Grant commented: “It is impossible to express my sorrow.

Everyone who knew Haydn will be deeply saddened by his untimely death.”

His leadership roles in Cardiff University included a long and successful period as Pro Vice-Chancellor

for Research; Ellis managed to boost the institution’s rating from thirty-fifth in the country to seventh in a space of less than 10 years.

He also served for many years as Head of the School of Psychology.

A psychologist by specialism, Professor Ellis developed an internationally acknowledged reputation for his pioneering research into the psychology of face recognition. His work led to around 160 publications.

Ellis was educated at St Julian’s High School in Newport, from which he went on to study at the University of Reading. There, he studied for a BA and then a PhD in psychology.

His first lecturing post was in the University of Aberdeen, where he worked until 1986, when he moved on

Jennifer Colgan Reporter

to become Professor of Applied Psychology at what was then the University of Wales Institute of Science and Technology at Cardiff.

Having been appointed to the Economic and Social Research Council and the Board of the Quality Assurance Agency, he was made a CBE for his contribution to higher education.

In spite of extreme discomfort, Ellis worked his last months, fully engaged in his role as Deputy Vice-Chancellor, in addition to publishing further research.

Dr. David Grant added: “Hadyn’s contribution to the University over the years is incalculable. Our sincere condolences go to his wife Diane and all his family.”

More January start dates introduced at universites Abigail Whittaker Reporter GIVEN THAT the UK’s higher education population is no longer just 18-year-olds straight out of school, the September start date for universities has lost much of its meaning.

Universities are now responding to a demand from students who want to embark on their higher education career when it suits them.

January start dates are popular with overseas students. They attract international postgraduates, and undergraduates from southern hemisphere countries that often follow a different academic cycle to the UK. For people who have been working or out of education there’s nothing special about September so students who are not locked into the school exam cycle contribute to the January intake.

Mike Dawney of Middlesex University commented: “We’re

seeing UK students who have taken a gap semester rather than a full gap year. They may work over the summer, travel for three months, but don’t want to hang around for the best part of a year.”

Oxford Brookes, Middlesex and London Metropolitan universities are just some of those who have started to adopt the additional January intake.

media wins five awards Andy Rennison Politics Editor

STUDENTS: Studying in the cold

CARDIFF UNION’S MEDIA had yet another successful year at the Guardian Student Media and Student Radio Awards last week.

Quench retained its title of Best Student Magazine, while Andrew Mickel won best columnist for his Mickelodeon page of last year, as well as coming runner-up in the Best Critic category.

Cardiff’s Students’ Union’s own radio station, Xpress, also got two awards, with Jen Long, last year’s Xpress manager winning best inter-

PHOTO: ADAM GASSON

Frosty freshers Union

KATHERINE JENKINS recorded her new single at Cardiff’s Millennium Stadium this weekend with the help of a 74,000 strong audience.

Giant screens showing the lyrics to ‘Green Green Grass of Home’ were displayed all around the stadium, allowing the fans to join in the singsong. Her new single, which features the vocals of thousands of rugby supporters, will be released to raise money for cancer charities.

Another version of the classic single, originally recorded by Tom Jones, features on her new album Serenade, which was released this Monday.

The game between Wales and Australia, which was the first of the Autumn Internationals, ended in a nailbiting 29-29 draw.

Keeping up with the Joneses Lee McCaulay Reporter

ST. LUKES: Award ceremony view. Xpress’ technical team also got a silver medal award. gair rhydd missed out on Best Newspaper at the star-studded event in London, with Imperial College’s Felix, a science based university, emerging as the surprise winners.

Last year’s Quench editor Will Dean was delighted with the magazine’s success. He said: “This is bonkers. It was a bit weird to win especially as we did so well last year, I thought it might work against us.

“I’d like to say a huge thank you to everyone who did anything for the magazine. I was gutted the paper didn’t win but you can’t have ‘em all.”

MORE THAN a thousand Joneses gathered at the Millennium Centre in Cardiff last Friday, breaking the record for the largest meeting of people with the same surname.

1,224 Joneses attended the event organised by Welsh channel S4C in an attempt to break the previous record attempt set in Sweden two years ago by 583 Norburgs.

Everyone who made it past the strict referees on the door were treated to a night of entertainment from famous Joneses, including songs from Grace Jones and a special message from Sir Tom Jones.

Other Joneses in attendance included Aled Jones from BBC Radio 1 and the Jones Family from Pobol y Cwm. Correction: In the last edition of gair rhydd, an article was published about the Jones convention. It said that it was held in the Millenium Stadium, it was actually held in the Millenium Centre.

gairrhydd

7

WORLD NEWS

NOVEMBER.13.2006 NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

World News in brief Victoria Lane Reporter

PELOSI: Big hugs

What an escape

BUSH/RUMSFELD: Mid-election losers

Casualties of war Steve Myerscough Reporter GEORGE W. BUSH has suffered a big blow in this week’s mid-term elections in America after his party lost control of Congress.

In the fallout from the election defeat, Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld has also stepped down.

Bush said that a “fresh perspective” was needed on Iraq.

It was America’s policy on the war in Iraq that many voters cited as the reason for voting against Bush’s Republican administration.

The elections, seen by many as a referendum on the President, decide who sits in Congress. This is where

American legislation is decided and is made up of two houses, the House of Representatives and the Senate.

Having previously both been held by Bush’s Republican Party, the Democrats have now won control of the House of Representatives and possibly also The Senate.

All 435 members of the House of Representatives were up for election, with the Democrats overturning a 28seat deficit to gain control of the house for the first time in 12 years.

In the Senate, only a third of the 100 seats were up for voting, but it would seem that the Democrats have still taken enough seats to take control away from the incumbent Republicans.

ARNIE: Back - as he promised

Control of the Senate hinges on the result from Virginia where a recount is likely after just a few thousand votes split the two rival candidates.

Assuming the first count is proved correct, then it would seem the Democrats will also win this seat and in so doing take control of the Senate.

If Virginia is retained by the Republican’s however then the parties will be dead level. This would mean Republican Vice-President Dick Cheney would be required to decide who controls the Senate, meaning the Democrats would miss out on control of the more powerful of the two chambers of Congress.

With a Democrat controlled Congress, George W. Bush would face

a battle to get his own way on legislation rulings. Issues that he may face serious opposition on include stem cell research and abortion.

Around the country there were a number of big results. In Minnesota, the first Muslim Congressman, Keith Ellison was voted into the House of Representatives.

In California, Arnold Schwarzenegger retained his position as Governor, stating: “I love doing sequels.”

Former First Lady, Hilary Clinton, retained her seat in the Senate while another leading female Democrat, Nancy Pelosi is now the first female leader of the House of Representatives.

Ewe have got to be kidding...

Matthew Horwood Reporter

Lovely bubbly Richard Williams Reporter A NEW CHAMPAGNE on the verge of release will set a new world record for the most expensive bubbly.

Previously, French beverage group Krug held the record for the most costly bubbly, a bottle of Clos du Mesnil 1995 costing $750 (£393), when it was sold at auction.

But that is all set to change, with Krug’s fellow nationals Pernod Ricard’s new Belle Epoque champagne, which is expected to retail at a cost of $1000 (£670).

Champagne is widely viewed as a luxury drink, and this new brand will further lend itself to this image.

As their chairman, Patrick Ricard explained: “Consumers all over the world want to identify with brands that represent themselves and this has to be brands with quality which are exclu-

sive.”

It is unknown if the champagne will reach Britain. Pernod Ricard has yet to release information on where they will market the drink, though it will not be sold in France.

“We won’t do many cases and won’t be offering it in France,” said Ricard.

The decision not to sell Belle Epoque, French for ‘beautiful time’, in France may seem strange, but it is likely to be part of Pernot Ricard’s strategy to go upmarket, by targeting external markets.

The most sought after champagnes in the market are Klug, Möet and Cristal, the brand of champagne which is famous amongst the hip-hop masses, with frequent mentions in songs and on backstage riders.

The company will hope that this new exclusive release will positively rub off on other brands in its portfolio, including Perrier-Jouët, Malibu, Beefeater, Mumm and Jacob’s Creek.

AN ASYLUM SEEKER from Iraq has been jailed for having sex with a sheep.

Hidyat Amin, a 30-year-old Kurdish factory worker, used the cover of darkness to conceal his farmyard fun, but made the mistake of leaving his pants and socks at the scene.

Commenting on the barnyard bestiality, farmer Frank Davidson said: “The ewe was not very well and not very happy.” Davidson told police he suspected “something funny” was up and became concerned for his sheep and Shetland ponies.

Underpants and socks were found near the farm at Preston, East Yorks on

three separate occasions, suggesting that Amin was a regular visitor. Judge Michael Mettyear said: “The suspicion is that your offending was not limited to this one offence.” Breadcrumbs found at the scene were apparently used to entice the animals.

The court heard how a man was often seen acting suspiciously at the farm and on one occasion, smoked a cigarette before driving off into the night.

Despite being sentenced to six months in prison, Amin, who is now facing deportation, could be free after less than a week due to time already served behind bars.

Caroline Wigin, prosecuting, said DNA evidence suggested that there was a billion to one chance of Amin not being guilty.

E-bones confiscated A WOMAN in Michigan, USA, has attempted to sell a mummified human skeleton on Internet auction site, eBay. The seller, Lynn Sterling, told police she’d acquired the bones 30 years ago from a friend who demolished a school.

A Michigan State University anthropologist believed that the remains dated from the early nine-

teenth Century and were part of an anatomical-specimen collection formely owned by the anatomist, Allen Burns. eBay stated: “The listing was removed from eBay on October 11 because it violated a policy against selling human remains.

“The website does allow the sale of skeletons for medical use, but not mummified remains.”

A CONVICT in Austria posted himself to freedom after wrapping himself up as a parcel.

Bosnian, Muradif Hasanbegovic, aged 36, was loaded into the back of a lorry by fellow prisoners where he helped package and post parts for lampposts.

Prison warden, Franz Hochstrasser called the lorry driver asking if he had “noticed anything funny as they were missing a prisoner”.

Hasanbegovic, who was serving a 7-year sentence for robbery, is still on the run.

What a cock A 72-YEAR-OLD Romanian man is in trouble with the police after locking his unfaithful wife in his chicken coop for a week.

Neighbours rescued the 70-year old woman after they heard strange noises coming from the coop one evening.

The husband is being investigated for false imprisonment and beatings,.

He told a local paper: “I knew she was cheating on me and I locked her there in the coop so she wouldn’t be tempted to do bad things.”

What a Whopper TWO POLICE officers in New Mexico are suing Burger King claiming they were served burgers sprinkled with marijuana.

The officers were in uniform and riding in a marked patrol car when they purchased the burgers in Los Lunas. Half the burgers were eaten before the discovery was made by using a field test kit.

Three employees have been arrested for possession and aggravated battery of an officer.

Their lawyer said: “It gives a whole new meaning to the word Whopper.”

gairrhydd

EDITORIAL & OPINION

NOVEMBER.13.2006 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

freewords the voice of gairrhydd

Est. 1972

At arm’s length CARDIFF UNIVERSITY seem to have washed their hands of the uproar over shares held in arms companies under our name. It seems however that the technicalities behind their cries of innocence are patchy at best.

The money invested is the university’s, but because it has been given to “external” parties to use as they will: Cardiff University is apparently absolved of all responsibility.

The implication that the university’s own ethical code doesn’t apply to external bodies seems farcical considering that the institution is employing these bodies and handing them university cash.

This apparent loophole in Cardiff’s ethical policy needs examination, as if it remains unchecked then our university will continue playing this card to get out of jail free.

If we as a campus can take a moral stand against Nestle, stemming maybe £50 of the Union Shop’s daily turnover, then surely we need to apply the same attitude to our university ‘indirectly’ fuelling arms production with tens of thousands of pounds.

The issue should be as much about the moral concern of funding defence contractors as the moral absolution by a well-respected institution.

Respons-ibility here should be based on common sense, not small print.

If students don’t raise their voices over this issue, we’ll be as guilty as our peers of running from liability.

Recurring Knightmare ANOTHER NUS Wales President has been consigned to history and it is saddening to hear that Jamie McIndo’s personal life has forced him to quit his role.

Many have noted the similarities to James Knight’s abdication last year, which also came abruptly as the autumn semester kicked in.

McIndo’s resignation will damage the positive functioning and democratic credentials of the NUS, reducing still further the power of unionised students. This is due, once again, to how early into the academic year the position has fallen vacant.

Because of this the new race for the Presidency may fall victim to the problems which were encountered last year: The most obvious candidates, the sabbatical officers from around Wales, are already shacked up in jobs until next summer, and any student who wishes to run will have to decide whether taking a time out of a course they have already been studying for for two months is worth it.

Consequently students in Wales could face being represented by a second-rate, second-best president if the NUS do not organise this election well enough.

Let’s hope that they do: NUS and NUS Wales cannot survive without a good leader at the helm.

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Reid between the lines Another tabloid headline, another knee-jerk policy. Huw Davies laments the birth of an unfair and unworkable law

H

ear that? It’s the sound of nine million gypsies entering the country on horseback. Or so you would think, anyway, if you paid too much attention to the disconcertingly-powerful far-right media. When another eight Eastern European nations joined the European Union in 2004, there was enough talk about illegal immigration and financial collapse to force WW2 vets into their underground bunkers. The word ‘invasion’ was muttered in hushed whispers. Even mild-mannered taxi drivers began to form fairly strong opinions on foreigners. Now, with two more countries invited to join the EU party, the immigration hysteria is rising again.

And the Government has reacted, as it always does, by Making A Policy.

New Labour’s unique style of making laws in reaction to Daily Mail cover stories continues, with Home Secretary John Reid taking a break from appearing in Gordon Brown’s nightmares to outline legislation limiting work opportunities for immigrants.

Sort of. In fact, Bulgarians and Romanians are the only European citizens who will be affected. This may sound a bit arbitrary, but the reason Bulgaria and Romania have been singled out is because they are the two aforementioned EU newbies. From New Year’s Day, their citizens can enjoy freedom of movement between all EU countries and better job opportunities as well. But not in the UK. Low-skilled migrants will only be allowed to seek employment in agriculture and food processing – nothing else. Not even factory work, through which over a third of migrant workers make a living. Only 20,000 places will be made available, despite Bulgarian Minister Meglena Kuneva predicting that about 36,000 Bulgarians, not to mention how many Romanians, would want to move to Britain when the time came. Any workers or employers found to be acting illegally face onthe-spot fines, or heavier penalties for repeat offenders.

Sounds firm enough, doesn’t it?

Particularly the stroke of genius that lies in restricting potentially unskilled immigrants to jobs where they can do no real harm, such as farming and food production. But, on the whole, this is news that will surely boost the hopes of all those immigration-phobes quoting figures of overcrowding. Or at least it would be, were it not for a number of loopholes that undermine the entire policy.

For one, this law applies only to low-skilled and unskilled workers.

Fortunately, this means there are no barriers preventing highly capable Bulgarian and Romanian workers (and students) working in the UK. Unfortunately, ‘self-employed’ immigrants – and the inverted commas are

New Labour’s unique style of making laws in reaction to Daily Mail stories continues there for a reason – are also excepted from the law. This is where the loopholes come into play. Firstly, there is no legal definition of self-employment, which makes it extremely difficult to prosecute illegal workers. The Government claims it will ensure these self-employed migrants are all legitimately skilled and self-employed for a reason, but this is a task not too dissimilar to finding a needle in a haystack and then performing open-heart surgery with it. Secondly, it is often the case that migrant workers claiming to be self-employed end up being exploited by their real employers, who pay them cash-in-hand, avoiding taxation, at a rate below the minimum wage.

And thirdly, to generalise: of all the plumbers, electricians, freelance builders and the like in the world, most of the dodgy ones are self-employed.

Just watch Rogue Traders.

Most problematically of all, this new law will make immigration enforcement itself even more difficult, especially as any Romanian or Bulgarian immigrants who are found

to be working illegally cannot be deported, only fined. So we have here a policy that will not stop employers exploiting immigrants, will not prevent “undesirables” (David Davis’s word, not mine) from working in the UK and will not significantly stem the tide of immigration. Nice.

But for all the legal, economical and political problems with Reid’s new policy, there is one very simple ethical problem. It’s not fair. As of next year, there will be 27 nations making up the European Union, and only citizens from Romania and Bulgaria will not have complete freedom to work in the UK. Oddly, the reactions of emissaries from the two persecuted countries have been nonplussed at best:

Most problematically of all, this new law will make immigration enforcement even more difficult Bulgarian Minister Meglena Kuneva called her country’s exclusion “a little bit strange”, while the Romanian ambassador said most Romanians are more likely to look for work elsewhere anyway. Nevertheless, the principle remains: the Government has to decide

http://freewords.gairrhydd.com

whether to extend the new employment laws to all EU countries, and make the required amendments, or drop the scheme altogether. Otherwise, a dangerous precedent is being set.

Still, most people’s reasoning will probably be that worse laws have been passed. At least nothing is changing for the worse except Anglo-Bulgarian relations. And what did they ever do for us anyway, except knock Germany out of the 1994 World Cup? More worrying are the Government’s reasons for creating the policy: out of fear of another public backlash after their miscalculation when the EU was enlarged in 2004 (15,000 migrant workers expected every year; 600,000 the total thus far).

The Government seems to think that it has to be seen as acting ‘in Britain’s interests’ – i.e. against immigration.

But at the same time, any overly controversial measures will be unpopular.

This is why Britain is now lacking either an open door or a closed door immigration policy. It’s a sort of ‘on the latch’ policy, or one that is locked but with the key shoved conspicuously under the mat.

If the Government persists with this law, the loopholes allowing foreigners to work illegally must be resolved, otherwise nothing will change. Until then, immigrants will arrive in this country, but we can probably count out the possibility of a full-scale gypsy invasion. Someone should tell the press.

The online blog for Cardiff students

10 gairrhydd

EDITORIAL & OPINION

NOVEMBER.13.2006 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

Have you gotta have faith?

Will faith schools prove an effective way of raising a generation of tolerant, intelligent children? Lucie Apampa thinks not

T

here has been uproar over the past week as it was announced that the Education Secretary, Alan Johnson, had backed down over plans for faith schools to have a 25% quota of pupils with a different faith to that of the school. But within all of this, I think that everybody is completely missing the point: the existence of faith schools per se.

What with all the recent worry over the growth of ghettos and ‘sleepwalking into segregation’ you’d have thought – or, at least, I’d have thought - that it was perhaps not the best idea to actively separate kids of different backgrounds as soon as they hit school-age. But, then, what do I know?

Beyond the misguided fear that Muslim primary schools could become terrorist training camps, there doesn’t seem to be much concern with the notion of laying down lines of separation in what is perhaps (excluding here your villages and backwaters), the most multi-cultural institution that children will ever be a part of. It is not a difficult concept to grasp - that if five year olds mix with other children from different backgrounds and cultures at a young age, they are more likely to grow into adults who are tolerant of other faiths and cultures.

We hear enough about the dangers of ghettoisation to know that religious segregation is not the angle that the Government is going for. So why is it that they are allowing this to happen in around 3000 schools throughout the country?

And what about the non-believers?

Should atheists be offered the opportu-

about their own cultural perspectives and religions, they will learn that it isn’t completely weird to see somebody wearing a turban or a headscarf, or even a sari. Without actively doing so, such schools create a pluralist and diverse environment where children can hopefully learn not to see issues along colour or class-lines. I’m not saying that the odd one won’t produce a neo-Nazi or a suicide-bomber, but I do believe that it’s less of a problem than it could be, as a result of colourful and varied classrooms.

Why isn’t it enough to simply learn about faith at home? Schools now

Why should young people be denied the access to alternative viewpoints?

FAITH SCHOOLS: Indoctrination? nity to be schooled away from faithfollowers?

Yes, I’m probably being a little over-dramatic – we’re not talking about total or enforced segregation.

But it’s segregation all the same, and the associations are not favourable. I don’t believe that faith schools will become breeding grounds for terrorists and Catholic Priests, or that either will

teach intolerance of the other. There’s no conspiracy here, it’s just the natural consequence of separation from different perspectives that worries me: ignorance.

Obviously, with the odd exceptions, what we have now in the UK – particularly in urban environments – is many multi-cultural schools where, although children may not teach each other

Chris Croissant heralds the arrival of the male contraceptive, but warns that getting men to use it might not be as easy as you’d think

I

t seems as though the long awaited and much talked about male contraceptive has finally arrived and will be on the open market in a matter of years.

Scientists in Australia have recently developed a male contraceptive that was 100% effective and free of side-effects in trials.

So is this the future? Men and women sharing equal responsibility for the conception of children, and the prevention of it if they so wish. No longer will it be just women who have to face the brunt of such responsible decision making, but men also. But perhaps it is not so simple.

The treatment itself is fairly straightforward. The hormonal treatment is a combination of an implant under the skin and injections that temporarily block the production of sperm - without interfering with testosterone levels. The female hormone progesterone inhibits the formation of sperm, while the male hormone testosterone is

added to counter the adverse effects of progesterone. Once the treatment is stopped, normal fertility levels return.

However, the very mention of introducing a female hormone is enough to send most men shrinking back into their shell of masculinity. As much as I endorse sharing responsibility when it comes to sex, I certainly wouldn’t want to grow man-boobs, and end up with a chest as a cushion for my friends to lean on, as in Chuck Palahniuk’s Fight Club.

Yet in a society where patriarchy is still very much embedded in our culture, it is time that we accepted an equal consideration of interests for women. When the female contraceptive pill was introduced in the 1960s it revolutionised life for women, and is now used by millions around the world.

Women were for the first time able to protect themselves further from the risks of unprotected sex. As much as I would encourage anyone to use con-

doms, we have to be honest about the difficulty of suddenly stopping what you are doing and saying: “Hang on a minute while I put this on.”

Yet this leads us to a very serious issue. If both males and females are using contraception to prevent pregnancy, it seems that the risks of catching sexually transmitted diseases will increase enormously.

As much as STDs are a concern when having sex, the paramount anxiety regards whether or not the female will become pregnant. With this problem almost nullified due to male contraception, the ‘I’ll risk it just this once’ attitude certainly seems to rise.

And after a few drinks on a night out, the use of condoms may become even more remote.

But this is all from a male perspective. Perhaps I’m making excuses for not using a male contraceptive.

Perhaps I simply don’t want to take responsibility for my actions and believe that women can deal with it.

teach children about a great range of different religions, and why should young people be denied the access to alternative viewpoints? Of course, many children grow up with a certain religion completely ingrained in them from year dot, but perhaps little Tommy, or Rakesh, or whoever, will be happier as the believer of a different faith – perhaps they will be happier with no faith.

Aside from the barriers the children face, are the barriers that faith schools impose on teachers. Although there is no law to say that only those who share the beliefs of the faith school can be employed there, an amendment has

Mary Boyle, a clinical psychologist at the University of East London, thinks there would have to be a major shift in male attitudes to contraception for it ever to be successful. However, Toni Belfield of the Family Planning Association believes, “We haven’t encouraged men to share responsibility”.

The results would seem to prove the sceptics right. Trials in the UK have started but scientists are having trouble recruiting men to take part. This could be due to a general fear of loss of manhood: doubts of developing breasts and having to face ‘firing blanks’ for a certain amount of time.

Yet there seems to be more funda-

It is enough to send most men shrinking back into their shell of masculinity mental problems at large here. As Mary Boyle suggests, “Women can avoid pregnancy by being on the pill, but that argument doesn’t wash with men”. Ultimately, it is women who can

been brought forward to allow members of the same faith to be favoured for jobs at schools that share their religion. Not only does this qualify as discrimination on religious grounds, but it causes some worry over the curriculum of faith schools – are they to be so religion-based that it would be detrimental to have teachers of different faiths teaching them?

I think that another key point here is the geographical locations of children and faith schools. I can understand if parents whose religion is different to that of everybody else in their local catchment area would prefer to send their son/daughter to a school where they know that their child will mix with children from the same religious background. Nobody wants their child to be singled out as different, and nobody wants their child to be bullied.

But, presumably, neither does anybody want their child to leave school with a cultural viewpoint that hasn’t yet had to face a challenge or difference.

Nobody is suggesting that religious children be forced to consider being atheist or believing in another God – just that they have the choice and the opportunity to do so.

Maybe the Government could pay an impartial expert to launch a highly comprehensive, highly expensive study into the origins of racism, intolerance and ignorance; or maybe they could simply consider the rationale and practice what they preach. Ban faith schools and promote tolerance by encouraging ‘multi-faith’ schools where there is real-life diversity.

become pregnant. But this attitude is incredibly unfair and plays upon power relations that should have long been subverted in our society.

After all, sex is the fusion of two bodies, of male and female, and thus an equal partnership and shared responsibility.

Male contraceptives are very promising for the future. For couples in a relationship, they lift the burden from the female. With new contraceptives available without female hormones, their potential looks very encouraging.

It will allow women to return to their natural cycles and come off of the pill, placing trust in their partners to use the contraception properly. It will also shift male attitudes towards sex.

As Toni Belfield says, “We should encourage men to feel part of sexual activity and the repercussions of sex”.

As long as it does not distort attitudes towards casual sex and people always use condoms, however unappealing they may be, male contraceptives offer women greater liberation from sexual responsibility and in the greater scheme of things, move towards a more cohesive equality between the sexes.

gairrhydd

EDITORIAL & OPINION

NOVEMBER.13.2006 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

Big bother There is now a CCTV camera for every 14 people in Britain. Han Windsor explores the growth of the surveillance society

I

hate to admit it, but I think Facebook and MySpace are taking over my life. No longer am I able to simply browse the internet, engaging in simple Google searches. Oh no. Instead, the small, shallow but incredibly strong strings in the back of my mind redirect my fingers and away I go. Another hour wasted browsing various peoples’ photos and attempting to acquire more friends so that I look more popular. Pathetic, I know.

But, we’re all doing it.

Over Britain there are 4.2 million active CCTV cameras On the surface this whole obsession seems rather frivolous, and most definitely mindless (oh god, my middleaged self is already emerging), but it’s also dangerous. Amidst media headlines that Britain is now a “surveillance society,” people being watched is on the increase, and that includes on the internet. More so than anywhere else, the web is the largest source of peoples’ personal details, whether it be through internet banking, personal web pages or route finding websites that record your exact residence.

Putting up photos and videos on your MySpace may seem harmless, but due to the culture we live in, anyone can see them, from stalkers to future employers to government officials.

It’s not just through the internet that we are being observed, however. Over Britain there are 4.2 million active CCTV cameras, which record your every move. There are registration plate recognition cameras, personal video recordings, hidden cameras, bugging devices and mobile phone cameras. (Granted, the majority of the above are only normally applicable to those being stalked, but the fact remains that on average we make three hundred CCTV appearances a day.)

The ‘nanny state’ is out of control.

The government is not satisfied with preventing smokers from smoking in all public places (apparently designated smoking areas just aren’t zealous enough). Nor is it content to allow its citizens to express views that may spill very slightly over the ridiculously tight confines of political correctness. And now it’s insisting that our every move should be recorded.

New plans have been made for the implementation of an electronic surveillance system of all British roads.

In brief, every car on every road in the country will be taped and the records kept for up to two years.

In terms of tracking criminals, this

11

CCTV: It’s watching you

I maintain that surveillance levels of this intensity are important in terms of preventing terrorism vision does not particularly offend me (unless I dramatically fall off the rails in the next few weeks and become Britain’s most wanted car thief - an unlikely scenario). What does annoy me is this country’s legal system.

ASBOs are being handed out left, right and centre but even these are ineffectual now; yobbish youths, instead of avoiding them at all costs, are actually going out of their way to get them, because they boost their street cred.

According to officials there’s not enough room in prisons for criminals

anymore so ASBOs will have to do.

Wow, I’ll sleep soundly at night. And as for the proposed ID cards, are they not merely a sign of the government’s legal incompetence? A way of dealing with a situation that seems to be snowballing out of control? Not only will we have to pay fifty pounds for them, but our personal details, right from our home address to our fingerprints, will be stored on them. Wham. There goes your individuality and sense of humanity in one swish of the laminating machine.

I maintain that surveillance levels of this intensity are important in terms of preventing terrorism, identity fraud and organised crime. Hell, without CCTV cameras Crimewatch wouldn’t be nearly as effective or fun to watch.

But at the same time I am not a criminal so why should I be treated like one?

Surely, it’s up to the government to vastly improve this country’s legal system before it starts imposing its watchful eye on us all.

As the second Jackass movie heads towards cinemas, Ed Pitchforth considers the wider effects of the stunts

I

n recent years stunt shows such as Dirty Sanchez and Jackass have become incredibly popular, successfully making the transition to the big screen and selling vast numbers of DVDs. The stars of such shows demonstrate a complete disregard for their personal safety, and an egotistical obsession with outdoing their mates/co-stars by damaging their bodies in bizarre and innovative ways.

A rational person would rightly ask what the appeal is of watching idiots injure themselves. Surely it only appeals to sado-masochists trying to get their kicks?

Now I certainly would not describe myself in such a way, but I am also not a hypocrite and will have to admit to enjoying watching the early episodes of both series.

In their nascent days the shows essentially captured a group of mates larking around after a boozy night out.

In my view this is the key to the show’s appeal among students as, let’s face it, we have far too much time on our hands, and have a healthy appetite for booze. I personally still sport two faint scars on my back after I chose a particularly spiky bush to hedge jump over after a night in my local.

However, I feel there is a distinction to be made between the pointless buffoonery that the early stages of such shows captured, and the dangerous behaviour which can now be witnessed. I haven’t seen the Dirty Sanchez film yet, and after being informed by a friend that Pritchard cuts the tip of his finger off with a cigar cutter, I can categorically state that I have no desire to.

The problem stunt shows face is that to ensure continuing success, they are forced to up the stakes by performing more dangerous stunts than before.

Die hard fans become desensitised to the injuries on display, clamouring for blood and broken bones. To justify a large film budget the stars of the shows have to commit to repeatedly putting their bodies on the line.

As the stunts become increasingly dangerous, I feel the risk of copycat antics becomes a serious issue. While each show is preceded by the warning, “please do not attempt to recreate any of the stunts seen on the show,” in my view this is a futile exercise, as it is inevitable impressionable teens will do so. When the stunts consist of seeing who can slap each other round the face hardest, this is not particularly worrying. However, when the stars are seen giving themselves deep paper cuts between their fingers and toes and firing fireworks out of their arses, I feel there is cause for concern.

Supporters of the genre would probably argue that viewers know where to draw the line. This may well be true of older fans, but in an era where the notion of post-watershed TV and controlled viewing is virtually non-existent, this argument carries little weight. It is well documented that parents no longer stringently monitor their children’s viewing, meaning

many children who lack the necessary common sense will be able to watch the shows.

Reassurance is supposedly provided by the fact that all stunts are supervised by health and safety professionals, but the only time I have witnessed such an individual is when the stunt involved rattlesnakes. At any rate, what use is a ‘professional’ when the stunt consists of crashing a car at 30mph into your mate who is standing on a ladder?

A great deal of the footage is improvised as the stars attempt to surprise each other, giving the ‘professionals’ no time to intervene. In a recent episode of Dirty Sanchez the cast were filming a stunt with a dangerous cactus, which burrows into your skin.

Pritchard then smuggled one onto the bus and threw it at co-star Pancho, missing his eye by a centimetre.

Pancho was rightly enraged, exclaiming, “you could have blinded me”.

And yet half an hour later they were back performing.

As the stunts become more dangerous, the risk of copycat antics becomes a serious issue In my view, these professionals are probably just medical staff, which at least means that instant treatment can be provided. However, a 13 year old who has imitated one of the stunts will be punished for his stupidity by being forced to wait for several painful hours at Accident and Emergency.

I worry about the long-term effect on the stars, as while many of them are talented skateboarders, the majority have only become famous for being show-offs. While they are currently enjoying the celebrity lifestyle, as their notoriety fades I can envisage desperate attempts to re-launch their careers. Just imagine the adverts: “Tonight and for one night only the stars of Dirty Sanchez set themselves on fire and throw themselves off your very own students’ union!”

12 gairrhydd

LETTERS

NOVEMBER.13.2006 LETTERS@gairrhydd.COM

letters@gairrhydd.com The gair rhydd letters page is the place for students to have their say about the things that they care about. We welcome any opinion on any topic.

Election debarkle I THOUGHT I’D TAKE a moment to make a comment about student elections. I know it's a few months before the attention seekers walk around prostituting themselves and their friends in the annual debarkle. Alongside impending dread I have several questions.

My first is to the people who read this paper and it's simply, what is the point in it at all and why are you voting? I know the logistics of the exercise, but seriously, when do the people in these roles actually do things that help the average student? If you are buddy-buddy with them in their society so they can aim money your way then it's great, but if you aren't then you probably aren't important enough to them for them to even know your name, let alone care about you. So why are most people voting?

My second set of questions are to the people who are considering candidacy. What is most important to the ongoing life of the university in a candidate? Can you stand for something greater than the opinion of your mates, than your own sense of self-importance? Have you any idea what it takes to make this university a better place for the future?

Most average students out there doubt it...

Ken Ed Jones, the vice-president, says: It is extremely disappointing to see that students have so little idea about what their elected officers do. This year will see a DVD produced in time for the elections which shows what we all get up to. I would like to invite Ken to join me for a day to see exactly what the Exec does and find out first hand all of the ways in which we make a difference to the lives of our students, who I can honestly say all officers work tirelessly to serve. For example, we are currently leading the project to design a new £25m Students’ Union building.

We also represent all of our members, arguing to protect students’ interests at the very highest level of the university.

Running an organisation with over 22,000 members, a turnover of £7.3m and over 100 permanent staff is an extremely demanding role, no matter how frivolous the elections may appear.

Furthermore, the suggestion that elected officers give undue handouts to their friends and supporters is extremely serious and something that I am convinced does not happen. That would be quite illegal and I would ask that Ken come forward with the details if he genuinely believes this takes place.

Get your kit on WHEN I TURNED to last week’s page 3 in Gair Rhydd I was a bit stunned to find the Netball team in their underwear.

I’m not a prude and I have no quarms with women expressing their

freedom and showing off their body if they choose too.

However, in a world (and a university) that still favours men and male sports, why do the netball team feel that to be noticed they must strip off and degrade themselves for publicity?

They claimed it was to raise money for breast cancer, but is it just me or is there nothing more inappropriate than parading your breasts in this situation?!

And for God’s sake, at least have the decency to wear matching underwear!

Third year.

Response: The calendar is out this week, and I'm sure gair rhydd readers will appreciate that it is by no means degrading, but rather empowering – it took the girls a lot of courage to take part. They should be respected for having the confidence to get involved, and yes, strip off for such a good cause.

100% of the proceeds raised will be going to Cancer Research UK. In selling at least 1000 calendars as hoped, we will be raising thousands of pounds for an unbelievably worthwhile charity. I challenge you to find a better, more accessible and fun way to raise as much money and awareness.

The shoot was conducted professionally, and the whole project fully supported by Cancer Research - we were under stringent rules as to what was acceptable to represent their brand. It was by no means a case of feeling "that to be noticed [we] must strip off and degrade [ourselves] for publicity".

Yes, sex sells. But if you take a look at our creation, Mr or Miss third year, it's far from an overtly sexual calendar. It's fun, tasteful, and has universal appeal – not at all tacky or breast-parading.

I would like to congratulate the netball girls who took part in and supported the calendar and wish them best of luck in their selling efforts. Likewise I encourage everyone who reads this to go out there and buy one. See for yourself.

Together we can raise a really significant sum for Cancer Research.

And, really, who cares if the girls aren't in matching underwear? – there are more important things in life.

Netball girl

‘I do’ on Park Place WALKING HOME FROM the excellent new coffee bar in the Taf the other day I was faced with a common Cardiff student’s experience, having to push my way through a wedding party who were mingling outside the Park Place registry office.

As always the same thought crossed my mind, namely ‘who’d get married here?’

As big a fan as I am of our Union it is possibly one of the ugliest buildings in the world and there is nothing about Park Place that would make me want to marry the love of my life in those surroundings.

As always the answer popped into my head, ‘because they’re chavs’.

Closer inspection of the male members of the wedding party with their skinheads, earrings and white shoes with their tuxedos confirmed this.

But then another thought occurred to me, has the relatively recent invention of the word ‘chav’ now made it ok for us to be snobs or perhaps provided a way of avoiding being accused of snobbishness?

Think about it…the people we all see on Jeremy Kyle we dismiss as ‘chavs’, those lovely loud drunk people we try to avoid fights with on St Mary’s Street – ‘chavs’, and those unfortunate people who have to endure students getting in between them and their stretch limos and messing up the pictures of their ‘special day’ – ‘chavs.’

Before the word ‘chav’ came into our lives the words we would have used to describe all these people, had we felt the urge to describe them, would have been ‘common’, or ‘lower class’ or perhaps some would have even stooped to ‘poor’, all of which have undeniably snobby connotations, so now that we can dismiss these people as ‘chavs’ does that make it any better? I actually have to admit it doesn’t.

Although not being a big fan of political correctness, that doesn’t bother me, I’m still perfectly happy to describe all these people as ‘chavs’ and face the onslaught of the ‘political correctness police’. Actually, don’t print those last few words; we wouldn’t want the Government or the Daily Mail getting ideas.

A fourth year snob The debate continues...

I JUST WANTED to write and congratulate the union on the new friday night...it’s fucking awesome!

I read a letter you printed last week by some baphead saying it was crap and he wanted Fat Friday back. What a loser! Granted the name is a bit shit but the music is as good as Mondays and the beer is cheap! Also, anyone who says that Monday’s Fun Factory’s main appeal is that it is free has no business commenting on what makes a good club night.

I queued for an hour to get Fun Factory tickets when they sold them in advance at the beginning of this term as did anyone who wanted a good night out! and there were no surprises when it sold out!

Mondays are the best night in Cardiff and Fridays being more like Mondays can only be a good thing. If you'd rather stay in knitting than go to Access All Areas then I think you should stick to your knit-one pearl-one mate and leave the drinking, dancing and having a good time to the people who know how to have one!

I love coming to gigs in the Union and it feels like they've finally got a weekend club night for people who love their music too. Well done guys!

Wee Man

letter of the week Self-harm article AFTER READING the article on the issue of self-harm in last week’s gair rhydd, I felt it necessary to write in. I am a second year student and I have been a secret self-harmer for many years.

It is quite honestly one of the loneliest and most embarrassing things a person can do as it is isolating, and I think gair rhydd have done well in bringing this to people's attention as it is something that is scrutinized heavily and looked down upon. Only the other week, a few of my close friends were talking in disgust of how someone could do it and

The Ridler DAN RIDDLER'S article last week regarding the Admission Impossible Demo was at best poorly researched, and at worst, the typical view of many students around the country. I would like to take this opportunity therefore to address some of the most concerning areas of his article: Ok, student numbers weren't great.

However it was never going to be as large as the 2003 demo which saw 31,000 people on the streets of London. The aim of Admission Impossible was to say No to lifting the cap on fees, and therefore No to variable fees of up to £15000 a year. It was part of the publicity for a campaign called Coalition 2010 that will reach its height when the cap on fees is reviewed in 2009. The alternative to a demo is inside lobbying of politicians and decision makers, and consultation with stakeholders. I can assure you this is happening, and that Coalition 2010 has multi-angled approach to meeting its objectives, that includes today's and tomorrow's students.

Furthermore, I am concerned that students think NUS has failed them.

Although the 2003 Stop Fees Now Campaign did not reach its ultimate

how pathetic they thought it was.

It's not a mental problem. A person who self-harms is fully aware of what they are doing as it is simply logical. A simple matter of control or balance. The article mentioned that self-harm was the result of a lack of control which is not entirely the case.

Also, the article tried to instruct people how to talk to those who selfharm, and it seemed as if it was telling people to be very careful. In reality, all people who self-harm want to do is to have someone to talk to, instead of hiding away. I know I would, but it is increasingly difficult with how it is looked upon.

Male self-harmer, Second Year objective of preventing top up fees, it still had some huge successes. The Higher Education Bill scraped through by on 5 votes, the smallest majority of the House at that time. The original proposal was for students to pay £5000 a year in fees with no bursaries or grants. NUS saw to it that the fee was reduced to £3000, that grants would indeed be available for the poorest students, and that each University would have to provide a minimum amount in bursaries. NUS saw to it that fees were deferred; that the student loan was increased to cover the real living costs to prevent students from having to take commercial loans; and they ensured that after a certain numbers years of employment, no student would have to pay back the remainder of their loan.

Ironically however, the said article accuses NUS of 'moving away form it members'. NUS works by mandate alone. Its policies and daily working activities are governed by the National student body itself. If it were to stop fighting against top-up fees (as The Riddler calls for), it really would be failing its members today, and no doubt its members for generations to come.

Gemma Long NUS Wales Higher Education Officer

gairrhydd

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MEDIA

NOVEMBER 13.2006 MEDIA@gairrhydd.COM

xpress goes on FM Cardiff’s student radio station takes to the airwaves 10 years of Xpression

F

or the next fortnight, Xpress radio will be riding the airwaves on 87.9 FM. This is its 10th year of FM broadcasting and as always will be an event to be in tune with. Since 1996 Xpress radio has had regular slots on FM, during which the high quality student shows are transmitted to a potential audience of 450,000.

Every year a Restricted Service License is obtained by Xpress, so listeners can roll their dial past Radio One and listen to a station, which is run by students for students. Over the last decade Xpress has been a prominent part of the student Media:

Monday, September 23 1996:

Xpress is launched for the very first time onto FM. gair rhydd runs the “Best moments of Xpress’ first week On Air.” An exciting visitor: “Wednesday lunchtime - Guest from Residential Caterers complaining how all the new students without accommodation were too upset to eat his pies.”

Monday, August 17 1998:

Xpress Radio broadcasts on a full time basis within the Students’ Union. Also, an Xpress makeover, “Situated on the fourth floor of the Union, Xpress has been expanded and refurbished this summer and now has two adjoining studios, a production office, an engineering office and a station manager’s office, contrasting dramatically with the small makeshift studio and office used previously.”

Monday, March 19 2001:

The Xpress Road Show: the Xpress team of the year 2001 took Xpress to the center of Cardiff. In an event intended to promote the station local bands and even the local dance school performed.

September 2003:

Xpress radio’s longest running soap Woodville Rd, begins. It was centered on the rampant life of students and ran for three years.

December 6 2004:

An “Airtime Phill-er,” in the shape of Phil Jupitus. The comedian broadcasts live from Xpress. Xpress has had many guest DJs such as DJ Marsha from X FM and, more recently, Steve Lamaqc.

Kate Warren

Plans for 2006

After 10 years of success, the most popular student radio is back with a new schedule and many new exciting shows and DJs Rachel McWhinney Media Correspondent

X

press Radio, Cardiff’s award-winning student radio station is back and it’s better than ever. With new playlists, fresh young DJs and a revamped website, this year is shaping up to be the best yet.

Xpress has always prided itself on keeping up with the dynamic and ever-changing indie scene and this year is no exception. The music team are working harder than ever to bring you the best in new music and provide the mainstream DJs with a vibrant and eclectic playlist with which to entertain our listeners. Extensive research into local bands and the Cardiff music scene means that Xpress offers relevant and topical entertainment and supplies you with all you need to know to stay in the loop. ‘The Exhibition’, a weekly show hosted by members of the music team talks you through the latest releases and bands you should be looking out for. With Xpress, you’re one step ahead.

The mainstream DJs keep you entertained throughout the day, seven days a week and this year Xpress are bringing you the best of new

student talent. Due to an abundance of hopefuls wanting to exercise their vocal chords, every single DJ, whether specialist or mainstream, has been auditioned. This means that Xpress has a jam-packed schedule brimming with top quality shows that are sure to keep you occupied for hours. Xpress is becoming increasingly diverse and this year’s schedule demonstrates this. With travel shows to music quizzes and everything in between, you are bound to find something that’s music to your ears.

From 6pm to 2am every weekday and from 2pm to 2am on Saturday and Sunday, specialist DJs command the airwaves and offer an alternative to indie music. These shows provide the DJs with an opportunity to share their passion for the music they play and adds another dimension to the diversity of Xpress. From punk and funk to old school hip-hop and jazz, Xpress has it covered. Specialist DJs form an essential part of Xpress and give listeners the opportunity to hear music that is just as important as mainstream indie tunes. You can also catch specialist DJs spinning tracks in X-Factory in the Taf on Monday nights before Fun Factory.

With mainstream and specialist shows ready

Inside glimpse into the Xpress studios

to titillate, Xpress News is here to educate. On the hour, every hour, from 10am to 6pm Monday to Friday, Xpress News brings you breaking stories. Earlier this year, prospective Xpress newsreaders were treated to motivational talks from Red Dragon’s News Editor, David Grundy and BBC Wales’s Kayley Thomas. And that’s not all – an exclusive interview with David Cameron is due to be broadcast on Xpress and marks the first in a flurry of big-name interviews that will feature in Xpress Radio news bulletins. They will also appear on the flagship news programme ‘7-Days’ broadcast on Sundays at 2pm. Also featured on the programme are great stories and interesting guests, all of which can be listened to again via the ‘Listen Again’ facility on the website.

Xpress Radio is broadcast all year round on www.xpressradio.co.uk through the ‘Listen Online’ feature. Following the website’s complete overhaul over the summer, listeners can now listen to any show, any time using the innovative ‘Listen Again’ feature, inspired by leading radio stations such as the BBC and Xfm. Although this feature was introduced at the end of last year, Xpress are taking full advantage of it this year to ensure that no-one misses out. The website also boasts an interview section where listeners can hear top artists talk about their latest releases and future plans. In addition, the site has a regular newsfeed that keeps you up-to-date with political and local news, and Xpress events.

The aim of the new website is to be fun and easy-to-use and with the quick messaging facility designed to enable listeners to contact the studio and the webcam beaming images of DJs’ antics, it’s nothing but a success.

With this year shaping up to the best Xpress has seen, you’d be a fool to miss it.

Tune in to 87.9 FM for the most popular student radio by students for students!

14 gairrhydd

MEDIA

NOVEMBER.13.2006 MEDIA@gairrhydd.COM

Beating on the airwaves:

An award-winning student radio stati frequencies, and Media prepares you picks for the ultimate Xpress experien

Ooooh X .....

That sounds good

Better Travel than Dead

press Radio’s new travel show ‘Better Travel than Dead’ is an exciting addition to the mainstream schedule this year.

With presenters James Hotham and Jimmy Hoyle offering practical advice to listeners based on personal experience, ‘Better Travel than Dead’ is definitely worth a listen. Each week one country is discussed in detail with additional input from a guest on the show and includes advice on food, accommodation, language, culture and costs.

Features of the show are a ‘Best and Worst’ topic where listeners are encouraged to share their own experi-

ences and a competition between two guests to sell a place of their choice within the country in 60 seconds.

With such entertaining and comprehensive guidance on the unknown, there’s no escaping the travelling bug.

Tune in to 87.9FM or www.xpressradio.co.uk on Tuesdays from 1-2pm to broaden your horizons.

Rachel McWhinney

Barry Island Discs

stranded on Barry Island and was inspired by BBC Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs. Each band or artist is asked to choose five tracks to entertain them during their entrapment on Barry Island – three of their choice, one track of their own which gives listeners an insight into what the band perceives their best track to be, and one future track that they feel would inspire them.

This gives them an opportunity to promote an up-and-coming band from their local scene and widens listeners’ access to new music. In addition they are asked to choose a luxury item, a musical instrument, and a book or film of their choice.

Tune in to Xpress Radio on Wednesday from 7-8.30pm to hear Barry Island Discs with British Sea

B

arry Island Discs is the exciting new feature on ‘The Exhibition’, a weekly show hosted by members of Xpress Radio’s music team.

The concept of the show revolves around the idea that an artist or band is

Power, Jamie T, The Walkmen and more.

Rachel McWhinney

The Soundtrack to the Best Days of your Life

A

ward winning mainstream DJ Rhiannon Fitz-Gerald celebrates the years past. Her show ‘Back in the Salad Days’ takes a nostalgic look at the tunes of our times from before university to the early student years.

The Soundtrack to the Best Days of your Life is an exciting new feature in which listeners get to choose the songs that take them back. Each week Rhiannon plays three songs that related to a particular student past time,

Xpress listener’s top five STUDENT

PICK 1

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William Richard

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PICK 5

d, and culture entertainedNews. It is broade b to t an ures If you w rther than Xpress e news feat look no fu from 10am-6pm. Thestigations and cast daily orts, interviews, invurite celebs! special reppdates on your favo Uni team essential u got everything from iership football Xpress hasreakthroughs, to premouring an sporting b et involved with hon The Week’ slot, games. G o in our ‘Person Of oices of the unsung her to hear the future v g news and inand tune inpress. With breakinsets the student news on X age, Xpress News depth coverda for south Wales. news agenon Jade Wats

NEWS

gairrhydd 15

MEDIA

NOVEMBER.13.2006 MEDIA@gairrhydd.COM

Xpress Radio on 87.9FM

ion, Xpress takes on the FM with timetables and top student nce. such as drinking or sleeping, and it is down to the listeners to pick the best one.

All the tracks that are chosen will go together to make an exclusive compilation that will be played on her last show on Xpress.

To contribute to The Soundtrack to the Best Days of your Life reminisce with Rhiannon, on xpressradio.co.uk and 87.9FM, from 11-1pm on Wednesdays Kate Warren

Xpressing yourself

U

niversity is all about diversity, which is why it’s important that our student radio reflects this.

FAQ: XPRESS

The Speech Team at Cardiff is the best way of letting you quite literally express yourself. With six speech shows currently on the airwaves you get a fill of travel, politics, sport, science, current affairs, a dash of comedy, and everything in between!

We even have our own music quiz, Upbeat, which recently saw station manager Syd take on Head of News’ Huw. The ‘friendly’ rivalry means that plans are now in the making to play-off the Xpress execs against each other.

Will the best team win? Tune in on Monday evenings to find out, or check out the schedule to see what else you’re missing out on!

Wendy Woodhead

Why isn’t Xpress radio on FM all year round?

The regulatory body Ofcom will only give a Restricted Service Licence (RSL) which allows us two broadcasts a year.

Is that usual with student radio?

Actually, Xpress Radio is lucky to be able to get an RSL at all. Lots of student radio stations broadcast on long wave or just on the internet.

So I can only listen for a couple of weeks a year?

No! You can listen on FM until Friday December 1 but we’re online at www.xpressradio.co.uk every single day of the year and also broadcast

throughout the union.

Where are you!?

The Media Centre on the fourth floor of the union Is it too late to get involved?

Nope, there’s still loads of opportunities to join the various Xpress radio teams. Just come up to the station and talk to someone.

What do you do when you’re not broadcasting?

Loads! We host acoustic nights and events. A lot of the time we’re planning the next broadcast and making sure everyone knows as much as possible about Xpress radio.

What’s the frequency again?

87.9FM from now until Friday December 1!

Spooney Xpressing support

What’s on the wireless:

Friday

Thursday

Wednesday

Tuesday

Monday

9:00

Saturday

13:00

14:00

14:30

17:30

18:00

18:30

20:30

22:00

23:30

1:00

Brunch Sara and Shamina

Better The Show With No Travel Than Name Dead

Pam and Steph in the Afternoon

Snooze Lucy

Back in the Salad Days Rhiannon

The Ben and Rach Show

In the Chair Daisy and Kate

Syd and The Carrott You Never Should Ben in the and The Afternoon Rocket

The Exhibition

Snap Crackle

Innervisions Richard

Off Their Rockers

The Absolutely Amazing Andrew Savage Ladies Wot Lunch Hannah and Joc

Faces for Radio Tom and Craig

A date with Hannah and Gail

Reggae Show

Urban Hymns

Napoleon Solos

Twilight Digla Mushroom Mazzika Sessions

Fiona and Tom

Moog Zone

Weekend Warm-Up

Mash Up

Pandoras Box

Kein Bock Mehr

11:00

12:30

Broken Bones Comedy Show

Bring on the Weekend The Lowdown Ross+Lara Amira and James

14:00

15:00

16:00

17:00

Sports Show

18:00

Snooze Emma B.

The Fresh Sat Nav Princes with James

Iconic

Local Eyes Under the Quench Reasons covers Film Show to be with cheerful Tasha

Snooze Dom and Nick

The Fresh Culture Princes Shock Fog

Pulse Extra

Jazz Society Show

Cheese Toasties and Jazz

Off the record Tom & Ciaran

Andrew’s Allsorts

20:00

Snooze Catherine

Tha Hannah and Rhiannon Show Snooze Anything Anwen and But Sahmaira Silence Alice+Kate

Philippa, UpBeat Methu Dawnsio Lammy and Music Quiz Kate in the Afternoon

19:00

Good Value Riffing It Up Rich and Rys, Amy and James Shaz

Snooze Rich D.

The Lara and Nev Show

16:00

Snooze Emma W.

9:00

Sunday

11:00

To Emo and Beyond

19:00

19:30

Catfish Cafe

Roffer’s and Sim’s Country Pie

Oz and Nick

House Revival

Synaesthesia Trnasmission

Thrift Store

Rock Bureau

Jelous Again

20:30

21:00

Jamie Bowles

Freaky Folk Experiment

Dig!

Cross

22:00

23:00

Pandoras Box

12:30

Andrew Wave of Mutilation and Chris

Hang the Melodica DJ!

Sneakers are Better Dirty

1:00 Dirty Mac Mixtape

gairrhydd

17

INTERVIEWS

NOVEMBER.13.2006 INTERVIEWS@gairrhydd.COM

She helped develop and produce Rob Reiner’s This is Spinal Tap, worked closely with Emma Thompson on multiple awardwinning Sense and Sensibility, and then again on Nanny McPhee; these are just a handful of the achievements of LAborn producer Lindsay Doran.

Nicki Menage spoke to Lindsay at the Premiere of her latest film, Stranger than Fiction.

The direct approach T

he BFI Times 50th London Film Festival. 30 or so cramped journalists line the entrance to the Odeon in Leicester Square, craning their necks in anticipation, as the likes of Emma Thompson, Will Ferrel and Dustin Hoffman shimmer and muscle-flex their way onto the red carpet for the premiere of Stranger than Fiction.

The film stars Will Ferrel, wellknown for his improvisational style of acting in roles such as Ron Burgendy in Anchorman. He was, however, more restricted in this film: “There was no improvisation,” says Lindsay. “The director insisted that every one of these actors say the script word for word.”

The story follows Harold Crick (Will Ferell), an archetypal taxman who starts to hear a woman’s voice narrating his every move: “Zack [Helm] had the inspiration for the film. He came up to me five years ago and said: ‘I want to do a movie where the guy hears a narrator and the narrator starts telling him things about his own life and then one day he tells him he’s gonna die. I thought that was a great idea for a movie! It seemed so funny and yet it seemed also an opportunity to explore why we don’t do the things we want to do before it’s too late.”

“There’s a beautiful scene in the movie where he says to his friend: ‘What would you do if you knew you were going to die?’ And the guy says: ‘I’d go to space camp.’ Well why isn’t he already going to space camp?! The character talks about how he’s so busy - but we’re all too busy!”

“A lot of people have come out of this movie and said: ‘I should tell that girl I love her!’ or ‘I should learn to play the guitar;’ ‘I should jump out of an aeroplane;’ ‘I should do all these things that I’ve always wanted to do what am I waiting for?!’ That’s a

great message.”

But jumping out of aeroplanes or extreme sports are not for Lindsay, who likes to live life to the fullest in a more conservative way: “Actually, you know, I’ve kinda done a lot of things I’ve wanted to do.

But I try to say thankyou to people.

Every week I say: ‘Who am I really grateful to this week?’ and I call them up. If I’m out of touch with a friend I call them right away to make sure they know how much I care about them.

“I would like to feel that if I died

“How many people can say they’ve done the thing they’ve always wanted to do as a child?” suddenly everybody that I loved knows that I love them. That’s really important to me; more important than anything else. Expressing my emotions is my extreme sports!”

Lindsay speaks loudly and energetically, partly because of her obvious passion for her subject, and partly to get heard over the steadily increasing crowds that have gathered around her.

Her accent is distinctly American, and yet she expresses a strong connection with England: London, in particular: “I love to come to London. I’ve spent a great deal of time over here. It sounds corny but my favorite part of London is Westminster Abbey.

“I came here just before Christmas with my husband and there were children singing and there was a little concert with people playing individual hand bells. It was so beautiful and romantic and I love the buildings and the architecture here. It’s just a great

city.”

But does she ever miss home?

“I do. But I’m always very happy when I’m here. Even before I came to London, as a child, I always felt that somehow I belonged here.

As I got older my big dream in life was to make movies in England. Way before I ever got here! So now I’m here! I mean this movie wasn’t made in England but I’ve made two others here, and we’re going to make a sequal to Nanny Mcfee.

“How many people can say they’ve done the thing they’ve always wanted to do as a child?”

She has reason to feel satisfied, for her film repertoire is certainly impressive, working on widely accredited films such as This is Spinal Tap in 1984, as vice president of creative affairs at Avco Embassy Pictures in L.A. Then, after moving to Paramount and hitting the glass ceiling there, Doran was lured away in 1989 by Sydney Pollack; she later joined Mirage as president and was one of the few women to hold that position at a major company.

There she worked on Sense and Sensibilty with Emma Thompson, a film widely praised for its comic yet touching adaptation of Jane Austen’s novel, which also received four ‘best picture’ awards.

Since then she’s worked on many films and T.V series including the Blockbuster hit Nanny Mcfee and her most recent film, Stranger than Fiction.

Her success may have much to do with her non-stop passion for films, plus her attention to detail when it comes to film making: “I’ve never stopped loving going to the movies.” She says, laughing.

“For a lot of people in the movie business, going to the movies just feels like work to them; they just sit there analysing it. And I do. I do sit

and analyse but in a fun way. I say, ‘What a good way to get a piece of information across,’ or ‘Isn’t it smart that they’re able to get this exposition across in a way that is so effortless.’ I learn from every movie that I see but it never prevents me from loving the movie that I see.”

She also considers her approach to film-making somewhat unorthadox, especially with regards to her methods of finding the right actors and directors to work with: “I ask lots of questions; even silly

“For a lot of people in the business, going to the movies just feels like work; they just sit there analysing it. I do, but in a fun way.” questions! A silly question to ask a film maker is, ‘If you imagine the movie in your head what will it be like? What other movies will it be like?’

And it sounds stupid. But, say, with a script like Stranger than Fiction a lot of people may say: ‘Well I imagine it to be like Last Tango in Paris.’ And you’ll say, ‘Well I love Last Tango in Paris but that’s nothing to do with this movie and we’re not talking about the same film!’

When I met Ang Lee on Sense and Sensibility, for example, many of the directors I met on that movie didn’t even talk about how funny the script was; they didn’t even know how funny the script was! And I wanted it to be a very funny movie that was also extremely emotional.

And Ang talked for the first ten

minutes about how funny it was and then he said: ‘I want this movie to break people’s hearts so badly they’ll still be recovering from it six months later.’ And I said: you have a job! You know what this movie is about. It doesn’t matter if you can barely speak English or you’ve never read a word of Jane Austen in your life. That’s what matters. We’ll deal with the rest.

We want someone who can make us a hilarious, heart breaking movie, and just about every movie I work on I want it to be both of those things.”

So have there been any real differences of opinion with regards to films?

“Well, one of the directors who wanted to direct Stranger than Fiction said it was a movie about rage. Maybe to that director it was but it wasn’t to me and it wasn’t to the writer and that just made it the wrong director. It would have been very interesting to see that movie but it wasn’t the movie that I wanted to make.”

So what does she look for in a film?

“I love movies that make you laugh and make you cry. And any movie that doesn’t do both of those things I think is falling short of what it needs to be.

“My favorite movie of all time, for example, is Seven Samuri, a Japanese movie. Makes me laugh, makes me cry. It’s a great action movie and its very emotional; its trying to do a lot of thing at once.”

Does she have any advice for budding producers?

“Persistence is the key. Nanny Mcfee took nine years to get made; this film took five. And it was the easiest film to get made that I’ve ever made! It took two years to get the script right and then we waited for exactly the right director. and then exactly the right cast.”

“So it’s really a matter of having the patience and a specific vision in mind and try to only attach people who share that vision.”

18 gairrhydd

HEALTH

NOVEMBER.13.2006 HEALTH@gairrhydd.COM

Just say no to weed Health takes a look at the effects of one of the most common drugs used by students

Brain drain C

Liz Stauber Health Editor

Liz Stauber Health Editor

A

TV ADVERTISEMENT which warns young people of the damage cannabis can do to the brain will be screened as part of a new drugs awareness campaign.

The advert, by drugs helpline Frank, is set in a brain shop in the future where customers can buy new brains when their own has become too “addled.”

It aims to show that prolonged use of cannabis can lead to mood swings, poor motivation, paranoia and vomiting.

But mental health charity Rethink said it did not outline all the risks.

The commercial, to be aired from Monday, features a spooky shop assistant who advises spaced-out customers how best to choose a new brain.

The so-called Brain Store is stocked with more than 20 different brains, cerebral fluid and memory stalks, all catering for the symptoms of cannabis use.

A spokesman for Frank declared that although cannabis was being produced to be stronger than ever before, it was clear from its helpline and case studies that the class C drug was growing in popularity.

“We know more and more that cannabis is the drug of choice of young people," he said.

“The aim is to drive home that cannabis is harmful."

But Paul Corry, the director of public affairs for Rethink, said the commercial did not go far enough.

“Rethink believes these adverts fall far short of the commitment given by the then Home Secretary Charles Clarke for a 'massive' health education campaign highlighting mental health risks.

“Government must honour its promises so that young people are aware of the true risks of cannabis.”

Frank was launched three years ago by the government and gives drugs advice over the phone, online and face to face.

See www.talktofrank.com for more details.

ANNABIS is illegal, it's a class C drug. Over 18s caught with the drug may be arrested, or given a warning.

The drug will be confiscated.

The maximum penalty is a two-year prison sentence. For less serious cases you are likely to get a warning which will go on record, and if caught again, you could end up in court.

You can be arrested even if you are only carrying a very small amount.

Drug-driving is as illegal as drinkdriving. You could go to prison, get a heavy fine or be disqualified.

People who grow cannabis in their homes will be arrested and prosecuted and might be charged with 'intent to supply' which has the same penalties as dealing.

Allowing people to take cannabis in your house or any other premises is illegal. If the police catch someone smoking cannabis in a club they can prosecute the landlord, club owner or person holding the party.

A drug conviction could mess up your chances of getting your ideal job.

If you are caught dealing cannabis, the police will consider this a much more serious offence than possession.

It's a maximum penalty of 14 years in prison.

Cannabis often gives sedative-like effects that make some people feel chilled out and happy and others have one puff and feel sick.

Others get the giggles until the muscles in their face hurt.

Hunger-pangs are common and are known as 'getting the munchies’.

Even hardcore smokers can get anxious, panicky and suspicious.

It affects your coordination, which is why drug-driving is just as illegal as drink-driving.

Some people think that because cannabis is a plant it is harmless, but that's not true.

Cannabis, like tobacco, contains a chemical which can cause lung disease and cancer with long-term or heavy use. Cannabis can make asthma worse.

It also increases blood pressure so it is bad for anyone with heart problems.

There is also increasing evidence of a link between cannabis and mentalhealth problems such as schizophrenia.

It's estimated that about 10% of users are hooked on cannabis.

If you smoke it with tobacco you can get hooked on the tobacco as well.

Frequent use of cannabis can cut a man's sperm count and suppress ovulation in women. If you are pregnant, smoking cannabis may harm the baby.

Regular, heavy use makes it harder to learn and concentrate and some people begin to feel tired all the time and can't seem to get motivated.

There is a minimal risk of physical dependence. Psychological dependency occurs in about 10% of users.

Users are more likely to get addicted to nicotine if they roll their spliffs

with tobacco. There are no physical withdrawal symptoms if you've only been using for a short while and there should be no problem stopping (unless you get addicted to the tobacco).

Skunk 'Skunk' is a term that is often used to describe herbal cannabis grown from selected seeds by intensive indoor methods (e.g. using hydroponic methods, artificial lighting etc.). The term originally related to the strong smell of these particular strains.

Purity The method of selection and cultivation of 'home-grown' or 'skunk' tends to produce cannabis with greater aver-

age strength than 'imported herbal cannabis' or 'imported cannabis resin’.

It is around twice as strong on average.

It is not actually possible to tell whether a particular sample of 'skunk' will be any higher potency than an equal amount of 'imported herbal cannabis' - because the potencies over-

lap substantially.

In addition the potency decreases over time in storage and is affected by what parts of the plant have been included in the product, so a user has little guarantee about the strength. The strength of the skunk smell appears to be no guide to actual potency either.

gairrhydd

NOVEMBER.13.2006 JOBS@gairrhydd.COM

Wage wars

19

JOBS & MONEY

As the pay race between men and women continues, Jobs & Money look at the situation at the moment.

Gillian Roberts Jobs & Money Editor

N

ew figures have shown that in the first eight years of their careers women are earning more than men.

According to the Equal Opportunities Commission, women between the ages of 22 and 29 are earning 0.1 percent more than men on average.

This has been thought to be held responsible by the high female intake at University, as 57% of students are now women, and graduates are paid at least £150,000 more than non-graduates over their lifetimes.

Yet, as many young women are enjoying the benefits of having equal pay to men. Research has shown that it is a different ball game for older women. In the past year the overall gap between men and women has risen from 17.1% to 17.2%.

It has been stated in The Times that it is women of child-bearing age that

suffer the most discrimination when it comes to pay. It has been reported that women at 39 are paid 6.6 percent less than men, and women in their 40s have a gap of 18.3% in comparison to men.

In response, the chair of the Equal Opportunity Commission, Jenny Watson said: “The remaining pay gap suggests that our three-decades-old laws, which rely heavily on women bringing costly individual legal cases to challenge inequality, have reached the limits of their usefulness.

“We need a new generation of laws placing a more active responsibility on employers to deliver equality for tomorrow’s generation before they too miss out on much-needed income.”

Other recent statistics by the Office for National Statistics (ONS) have reported that salaries on average have risen by 3 percent this year to £23,600.

In April the average weekly pay for men had increased by 3.5 percent from the previous year to £487.

Women’s average weekly pay increasing more by 4.2 percent but only totally to £387, £100 below men.

The ONS survey of 171,000 people excluding the self-employed have claimed that for men the annual salary is £25,800 while for women £20,100.

The results also said that women’s pay had increased faster than men’s across 80% of the income scale.

Figures have also shown that the proportion of female graduates reaching the highest levels of senior management is as low as 30%, and to 15% in executive roles despite the fact that half of graduates are female.

Professor Lynda Gratton has decided to lead research and respond to the figures. She has argued that “The government has never been very innovative. I would look to the world’s most innovative companies. I’ve never looked to the government to be innovative about this.”

But for now as the wage war continues, many women can enjoy having an equality in their pay during their younger years while older women can hope that total equal pay will be occurring in the near future.

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Online applications know-how As online applications are becoming more common and students are having to email employer’s CV’s, applications and requests for work experience, Jobs & Money discover the new set of skills students need to apply online...

1. No slang gang.

‘Hi’ or ‘Yo Mofo’ is not a good way to get a possible employers attention.

Remember to avoid odd symbols and no smileys : -(. If emailing a CV and covering letter make it short and sweet with careful wording. In the title box of the email explain the application and job title. Write it like a formal letter, but there is no need for your address details. Simply start it with ‘Dear…’ and end with the formal ‘yours sincerely’ if you know the name of the recruiter or ‘yours faithfully’ if you don’t.

Prize’ in Year 8. Build your CV at www.jobszoo.com/cv_builder.asp.

2. Sign up. If doing an online form you may have to register first. Make sure you are ready to answer some basic questions.

7. Whizz Kids. Just by using the emailing system demonstrates your internet and computer skills. But avoid using attachments or confusing programmes which employers may have difficulty using.

3. Make a difference. Don’t use the same standard email for all your applications. Customise for each employer. Personalise within their field, but do not fill with unnecessary jargon.

4. Put yourself in their shoes.

They may smell but think about how the employer may be reading your application. Does it sound professional and fluent? Think age. This person looking at your email will probably be older. Take care with spelling and wording.

5. Pimp your CV. Check and update your CV as regularly as you can. Cut out things which would also impress your Mam. Employers do not need to know you won the ‘Best Volcano

6. Handwriting versus online.

Online applications are much less effort on your part, as there is no need searching for a stamp (or probably pen). Employers also won’t be judging you on your neatness. A click of a button is easy yet, employers will expect well-written emails.

Impress them in the first two sentences and get them interested in you. Make it detailed, attractive but brief.

8. Time out. Don’t rush your applications and take extra care to type in everything correctly. Don’t send it last minute thinking an email is all instant. Send it one or two days early just in case your internet goes wrong (and you know it will).

9. Check Mate. Save a draft in word and print it out and get someone with a good eye for detail to check your application. Get them to be honest and be open to suggestions.

10. Saved and Sound. Finally press save and keep a hand copy safe. You may have to refer back to your application at a later date.

gairrhydd

21

POLITICS

NOVEMBER.13.2006 POLITICS@gairrhydd.COM

When Bush comes to shove Andy Rennison Political Editor

B

efore a boisterous audience of hungry Democrats, Hilary Clinton celebrated her reelection to the US Senate by issuing a warning to the Bush administration: “Not so fast.”

At home and abroad, the tsunami of Democratic success at these mid-term elections has raised the spirits of those seeking a fundamental shift in American politics.

Having helped on the night to reclaim a power in Congress, every successful Democratic candidate pointed to a ‘new direction’, promising to check the incumbent regime and oversee a liberal renovation of Washington.

These ambitions overlook President Bush, suddenly labelled a lame duck in the face of a newly hostile Congress.

With two years of his administration left to run, many Democrats are now looking forward to laying the policy groundwork towards a blue White House in 2008.

But with the settled dust of the New Year may come a blow to those lusting for liberal change. Perhaps the issue obstructing change is not so much the future, but the past.

Despite a favourable Congress for almost every chapter of his Presidency, Bush has so far failed to pass through major domestic policies – policies that the majority of mid-term voters cited as particularly important.

Standing out like New Coke at a failures’ convention is the President’s heralded Social Security reform, strongly set out following the “mandate” of his 2004 re-election. Two years on and the proposals are on the shelf, having floundered in Congress.

Hilary may wag a finger with “Not so fast”, but, with the exception of foreign policy, the White House has hard-

ly managed a brisk stroll since 2000.

Surely then, given this unproductive record, Bush will be a beached whale for the rest of his tenure, faced with the fresh sand banks of Democratic power.

Not necessarily. The problems to come are not insurmountable, as history shows us. A Republican White House facing a Democratic Washington is nothing revolutionary, and has been overcome by many a President before Bush jnr.

Clinton, for example, spent much of his eight years facing partisan roadblocks, yet managed to get heavyweight legislation, such as welfare reform, through Congress regardless.

Indeed, biographers of Bill have claimed that Republican opposition in fact shaped a stronger President.

So Bush should not necessarily resign all ambition simply due to the loss of legislative power.

The bottom line is that, contrary to victorious Democratic rhetoric, only two paths are likely in Washington over the next two years, and neither of them involve a liberal revolution.

One possible outcome of these midterms is that the Bush administration is forced to compromise the degree of conservatism in its policies, working with the Democrats to produce moderate agendas regarding the minimum wage, broader healthcare and, of course, the future of Iraq. But Bush still holds the power to veto new bills.

The other, perhaps more likely, and certainly far worse, result would be total political gridlock. Despite this month’s electoral rebuttal, Republicans may fight their corner and wrangle with their opponents as bitterly as is feasible.

This scenario is not helped by the quiet disunity of the Democrats. On Iraq for example, Democratic big-hitters such as Clinton, Kerry and Lieberman all disagree on the way forward, agreeing only on the failure of

HEADACHE: Bush now has to work around the Democrats

the Bush administration. Without strong unifying leadership, this month’s victors will become next month’s bickerers.

Until now, the fractured nature of the opposition has been eclipsed by the self-destruction of the Republicans, but their newfound power may expose the cracks in the Democrats’ paintwork. Any such entrenched division will condemn Washington to the minimal of progress.

The US and the world must therefore not expect any dramatic shift from Washington in the immediate aftermath of these elections. There can be no doubt, however, that a Democratic President-elect in two year’s time would signal the true turn of the tide.

Bring on Hilary.

visit www.thereddragoncentre.co.uk

The Red Dragon Centre, Cardiff Bay, Hemingway Road CF10 4JY Tel: 02920 256261

SaDamned

James Wheeler Political Correspondent

S

o, Saddam Hussein has finally been sentenced to death by hanging. The Dujail case was the first of two trials against him; the second, regarding the Anfal campaign, is now underway.

Iraqi law states he must be executed within 30 days of the verdict, which may well be before the second trial reaches its conclusion, though official sources state he will appeal against the verdict. It’s even possible further trials will take place over different charges.

Incredibly, it’s over 1050 days since Saddam’s capture back in December 2003. Some political analysts and many Iraqi civilians believe little has changed in Iraq, and the country is less stable than it’s been for many years.

Turning Saddam into a martyr, these people say, is the last thing Iraq needs.

Nevertheless, in an unprecedented statement, Saddam said in court: “I call on all Iraqis, Arabs and Kurds to forgive, reconcile and shake hands.”

Hmm. The first trial was held for the Dujail massacre of 1982, an attack in revenge for his attempted assassination, where 148 civilians were killed. Saddam is now well into his second trial which holds the charges of Genocide, War Crimes, and Crimes against Humanity.

He stands alongside six other top Iraqi leaders, including Saddam’s infamous cousin, Chemical Ali. The trial, which started in August, is based on the events of ‘Operation Anfal’ of 1988, where 180,000 Kurds were killed. There have been numerous questions from the defence as to the court’s legitimacy, and speculation about the credibility of the prosecution’s witnesses. These witnesses have appeared sometimes masked by a curtain and sometimes by videolink.

When the prosecution have finished

their questioning and the defence start to question them, there have been numerous “technical problems” meaning no sound is available in the courtroom. Furthermore, there have been many changes of judge, undermining the authority of the court.

But opinions from the Iraqi people have been mixed. Shia Muslims have been in the streets dancing and burning effigies of Saddam, even in predominantly Sunni areas. Yet in Saddam’s hometown of Tikrit, and in Sunni cities home to loyalists such as Fallujah, there have been protests and demonstrations against the verdict. The sentence has only served to strengthen the divisions within the country.

The question being debated around the world is why did Iraq choose capital punishment for Hussein? While it’s tempting for the judges to hold some moral high ground, a prison sentence as opposed to a death sentence would have looked like a weak option in Iraq, where capital punishment occurs as the norm. A common argument against capital punishment is that a ‘real’ life sentence is harsher punishment than providing the ‘easy way out’, yet many supporters of the war are keen that ‘an eye for an eye’ is taken.

Europe has been less divided in opinion. Finland, France and Italy have all condemned the verdict, alongside Blair who has spoken out against the death penalty, “whether it is Saddam or anybody else.”

Critics have commented on the fact that the verdict was announced just two days before the US mid-term elections. Many would like to know why such an easy ‘speech-cow’ was given to Bush at such a convenient time, not that it seems to have mattered.

Although the President will pronounce the verdict as a victory, the world expects the instability and insurgency to further escalate over the coming weeks and months.

22 gairrhydd

SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT 1 million Journeys every day

16 million Cubic metres of water every year

3 million

Tonnes of CO2 released into the atmosphere annually

9%

Of all UK office space

£3 billion Spent annually on goods and services

0

Number of universities in Wales signed up to the Go Green campaign

2 million students and 300,000 staff

The real price of university

NOVEMBER.13.2006 SCIENCE@gairrhydd.COM

Case study 1 Sheffield Hallam University: water efficiency

As Go Green week begins in Cardiff and around the UK, Science and Environment look at how universities affect the environment Marianne Fisher Environmental Correspondent

T

his is the impact of the Higher Education Sector in the UK. Can you imagine three million tonnes of gas? You could fill a lot of balloons. Despite being at the forefront of environmental research, the two government studies conducted into the environmental performance of the HE sector (Toyne Report 1993 and Khan Review 1997) concluded that institutions were showing ‘considerable indifference’ to their own behaviour.

To remedy this, the Khan Review stated that, by 1999, all universities should be certified to a recognised environmental standard; however, by 2005 only four institutions had actually achieved IS14001 status (the internationally acknowledged certificate).

It is like a smoker being told how bad smoking is, researching and adding to the evidence themselves, being diagnosed with lung cancer and then continuing to smoke. Such behaviour seems illogical in an individual and it is just as contradictory in a sec-

tor supposed to be at the forefront of knowledge and intellectualism.

One review showed that the HE sector was even being out-done by the exploitative big businesses.

In 2003, a national student-led organisation called People and Planet decided to try to do something about the environmental standards of the institutions claiming to support their views. The organisers discovered that only five universities could be said to have high environmental performance, out of over 200 in the country.

Cardiff has no member of staff whose role is 100% dedicated to the environment After interviews with environmental staff of these institutions, and consulting three independent academic studies (‘Keniry’ 1995, ‘Herremans and Allwright’ 2000 and ‘Sharp’ 2002), a distinct pattern became clear.

All the high performance universities shared four key factors. They all had full-time environmental staff, a publicly available environmental policy, regular audits to monitor impacts and, crucially, the active support of the VC. Peter Downey, Sustainable Strategy Manager at Sheffield Hallam said: “without the support of the VC you are banging your head against a brick wall.”

The result of this in-depth research was the national ‘Go Green Campaign’. This aims to get all universities to sign up to the four points and it is supported by the Higher Education Environmental Improvement body, the Environmental Association of Universities and Colleges, Ecocampus and The Carbon Trust.

So far over 30 universities have signed up, including Bristol, Edinburgh and LSE. None in Wales have done so.

Interestingly, when interviewed, the environmental staff said that, though a large budget helps, it is not as important as the four key principles of the Go Green Campaign.

The principles work by setting up mechanisms which give the environment permanent and prominent consideration within the university, ensuring that other schemes like energy and waste reduction don’t fizzle out.

What is striking is how much money institutions have saved having signed up, by reducing the resources used (especially paper) and cutting down on utility bills. Maybe they should have thought of that before they collared us with top-up fees.

So where does Cardiff come in all this? Well, we are lagging behind universities in the capitals of England, Scotland and Northern Ireland.

It is hard to know exactly what impact the university is having on the environment, because it has consistently failed to carry out an audit.

Their sheer reluctance to do so speaks for itself to a certain degree though. Cardiff has no member of staff whose role is 100% dedicated to the environment, compared with six in Edinburgh.

We do have an environmental policy online (if you can find it on the website), but it does not come up to scratch when compared with universities who have already ‘gone green’. It is littered with get-out phrases such as ‘wherever possible’ and, though it acknowledges the need for ‘setting clear environmental targets’, there is no mention of what the targets actually are. Nor is it signed by the VC. All is not lost however. The university does have sustainable evergy pur-

Without any major investment in new metering or other capital equipment, Sheffield Hallam has reduced its water usage by 15% across all its sites in the last three years. The environmental management team was able to achieve savings of 24% across its top five targeted sites through careful monitoring of water usage. Washbasins and toilets were fitted with cheap and simple flow restrictors resulting in huge financial savings which more than offset recent water price rises. Energy Manager Charles Morse said: “We think that our experience could be applied at many other institutions”. Sheffield Hallam was awarded a Green Gown Award in 2006 for excellence in Energy and Water Efficiency.

Initial cost: ‘a few pounds’ Savings: over £35,000 a year chasing policies and is extending its recycling and sustainable transport facilities. However, without the key mechanisms in place, progress seems doomed to being sporadic and slow.

This simply isn’t good enough. We have paid our fees, it is time the university stopped trashing the planet we will have to live on. It is our right, plain and simple.

Cardiff People and Planet, in conjunction with many other societies, is running a Go Green Week, starting on November 13, to try to push Cardiff the final few yards towards a full-time, ground-breaking environmental commitment for the Welsh HE sector.

There will be stalls outside the union, with petitions to the VC to sign, Art Attacks around campus and Green Men visiting lectures.

There is also going to be a peaceful demonstration, with people lying down to spell the words ‘Go Green’ at the front of the Main Building at 1pm on Tuesday November 21. Everybody is welcome to join in, although the lying down bit won’t happen if the floor’s wet.

Climate change is going to affect everyone and Cardiff University should be recognising that.

gairrhydd

NOVEMBER.13.2006 SCIENCE@gairrhydd.COM

What can you do to help?

SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT

Case study 2 Leeds University: waste As the UK’s second largest university, Leeds produced vast amounts of waste going to landfill. A new recycling strategy has massively reduced its environmental impacts by: • Removal of 5000 office waste bins • Introduction of 2000 recycling bins across campus • Installing recycling bins in student accommodation • Setting and reaching 25% recycling target • Purchasing policy favours recycled paper products

Total cost of recycling scheme: ÂŁ92,000 Savings: First 10 months ÂŁ14,000 2006 ÂŁ47,000

Show your commitment to the Go Green campaign by supporting this open letter to Dr David Grant, Cardiff University’s Vice-Chancellor. Fill in the details and post in the petition box in the reception of the Students’ Union.

Dear Vice-Chancellor Dr. Grant, We, the Cardiff People and Planet Group, are writing to you on behalf of the Cardiff University student body regarding the University and its environmental performance. We commend your noting, in the Cardiff University website's 'Global Questions, Global Answers' feature, that Britain's universities have a huge environmental impact that could be massively reduced.

In particular we applaud your commitment to renewable energy purchasing, encouragement of greener transport and local food and drink purchasing. As we all know sustainability is now the name of the game, both environmentally and economically. Although your website feature shows excellent progress and that we are heading in the right direction, there are still many areas in which we can improve. For example, recycling is still direly unavailable to students and technology such as doublesided printing could halve paper consumption as well as save money.

The public and students in particular are increasingly aware that Climate Change is emerging as one of the most pressing issues of our time. It is crucial that our University shows that it is

firmly committed to tackling this issue.

Progressively more universities are recognising the Go Green strategy as the best strategy to move towards sustainable environmental development. Thirty British universities, including Warwick, Bristol, LSE, Oxford and Edinburgh have already signed up.

Cardiff could be the first Welsh university to join this prestigious group. For details of how Cardiff University compares with other universities, visit http://peopleandplanet.org/gogreen/goinggreentable.

The Go Green strategy revolves around four key objectives.

Specifically we believe that our University should: 1. Employ full-time staff dedicated to environmental management developing objectives, setting priorities and significant, time-bound targets to fulfil them.

2. Conduct a comprehensive review of all the University's environmental impacts - so that current impacts are measured, potential improvements identified, and performance monitored.

3. Produce a publicly available environmental policy - to provide a formal demonstration of intent regarding environmental performance improvement, and against

which to compare practice. A good example would be Bristol's policy available at http://www.bris.ac.uk/environment/policy.

4. Finally we believe that your support for high environmental standards is particularly important.

Experience shows that no program to make a university green will work without the active, public support of senior management.

We appreciate your continued interest in the University's environmental progress and look forward to working with you and the University on this issue.

I support the Go Green campaign and the open letter to Dr David Grant written by Cardiff’s People and Planet Name:

Student/ staff number:

Department:

7*398 +742

Â&#x2020; 5*7 <**0

7*398 +742

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47 &551> &9 8*;*73 54.39

23

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6 8 A CO W B R I D G E R OA D E A S T, C A N TO N , C A R D I F F C F 1 1 9 D N 6 C C A E M E I L L I O N , Y S T R A D C W R T R AW L I N , C A E R P H I L LY, C F 8 3 1 S N

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gairrhydd

25

TELEVISION

NOVEMBER.13.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

This Week’s Child In Need among the Children In Need: November 13th-19th

TV Desk In Need Woe-gan Is Us As Children Are Still Needy

HOT The Weather - Bloody cold isn’t it? Yes, and it’s marvellous. Obscure your face with a scarf, hat and hood and no longer are you accused of being a hoodlum, but instead you are just being PRACTICAL.

Soaps OH MY GOD, it’s soap armageddon this week as Coronation Street spirals completely out of control.

Basically, you know Jamie right, and you know how Frankie is his stepMILF, and how she and his dad are getting it back on, but he professed his love for her, and she didn’t know how she felt, but then they kissed and she thought she might love him or sumfink. Well, this week...they SHAG! I don’t have any details about it as yet, but there is definite full sex and that can only be a bad thing in their situation surely. And there’s yet more shagging in Hollyoaks, as Justin hops into bed with that Sasha girl.

Actually, I’ll give a general romance round up. Eastenders: Phil and Stella, Neighbours: Katya and Max Emmerdale: Edna and Marlon. And that’s pretty much it. Oh to live in a soap.

O

h you lucky people. This Friday comes the poor man’s Red Nose Day; Children In Need.

I’m sure that the weak among you will see lots of good things in the existence of this fund-raising extravaganza, but you must bear in mind that it involves lots of idiots being on the telly at once.

1900 hours: I’d have thought they’d ease us in gently, but the start is as blunt as an Aidan Moffat come on wheeling out Terry Wogan again and Fearne Cotton.

She once interviewed Busted whilst wearing a Black Rebel Motorcycle Club tee, I can only assume for indie cred, so she clearly doesn’t realise that Busted were a million times better than BRMC have ever been.

2000 hours: REVEALED. The winner of the BBC’s search to find the new voice of the speaking clock. If it’s not Stephen Hawking they’ve missed a trick, ‘cause there’s this program on my laptop where you can type in words and it speaks them back in his voice, so it’d work out well cheap.

2030 hours: Connie Fisher (I thought she used to present Blue Peter) is apparently the voice of Maria off of the Sound Of Music.

Actually, I remember when Connie off of Blue Peter was on Celebrity Fame Academy, she was rubbish.

2100 hours: “Queens of Clean” Kim and Aggie hit the road

Fudge Tunnel 271

NOT

Macs - Or if not Macs then at least our inability to use them properly, as for the second week in a row a page of TV Ellen’s has found itself lost in the Apple Ether, and has found her cursing “oh no, I am an hour behind schedule now”, or something with more asterixes in it maybe.

Film

with Staus Quo in “How Clean Is Your Gig?”. I mean seriously, no matter how much money’s raised tonight , is it really worth going through this crap for?

2130 hours: Emma Bunton and the stars of Strictly Come Dancing

perform the official CIN single ‘Downtown’ and then Keane play a song, and then you realise “Hang on, the taf is still open for a few hours yet and they won’t have this on in there, ‘cause they always have wrestling or cop shows on, and if I get drunk enough I might be able to blot out the last 4 hours of my life”. And to be honest, it’s worth a try isn’t it? love x

DVDS TO RENT/BUY What? Hard Candy? Much as I loathe to like any film that shares it's name with a Counting Crows album, Hard Candy was actually pretty good. Anyway, it stars a paedophile photographer who of course(!) wears glasses (because paedophiles don't SEE life the same way as you and me) and a not-very-attractive minx, seducer teenage girl called Haley. The basic plot (and yo, it is pretty basic) is that femme-fetale gets Paedophile hot and honky over the Internet in about five seconds by calling herself 'thong girl' and talking about Goldfrapp. This man is clearly not hard to please. Anyway, they hook up in a cafe named after an Edward Hopper painting, which has never been done before, and then she effectively drags him by his ogling weiner

back to his house, they chat, and share a few drinks. Then she drugs him, tortures him, threatens to castrate him and then breaks into his safe, finds his paedophilia stash and then invites his ex girlfriend whom he still adores, round to join in the frolics. Given most of my experiences with going round girl’s houses, especially... (continued in ‘Radio’)

Battle Royal II: Requiem is on this week (C4, Thursday, 11.15pm).

Now, naturally I know nothing about it, but I do know that I very much agree with the concept of ‘let’s kill everyone’. I have always wanted to watch the first installment of this film, but it has subtitles, and I have no attention span, so it was never gonna work out.

Sport Wednesday, 6.50pm on BBC1 sees Holland v England go down.

It’s one of those pointless international friendlies that will only matter if England lose embarassingly. And on Friday comes the temptation to actually like rugby, as clashing with Children In Need at 7.00pm is Wales v Canada in our city’s own Millenium Stadium.

Brilliant.

Radio ...ones met on the Internet, I think he got off lightly. To cut it short, and not reveal its many but not especially varied or indeed surprising twists, it's not as vile as people would have you believe, but racks up those all important claustrophobia brownie points, and I think by making Haley pig-ugly, snobbish and barking mad (possibly based on Elizabeth Wurtzel), means you don't really sympathise with either character. Because regardless of the photographer’s actions, she's as much of a fucker as he is. The lack of characters (5 in total, 3 of which only appear in about 5% of the movie) is an audacious move, which pays off. (7) TV John.

26 gairrhydd

MONDAY

NOVEMBER.13.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

BBC2 9pm

Testament: Bible In Animation BBC 11.20am

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Animal 24/7 10:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am Car Booty 12:00pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Murder, She Wrote 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:Chucklevision 3:40pm Arthur 3:55pm What's New Scooby Doo? 4:15pm The Story of Tracy Beaker 4:45pm Keep Your Hair On 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Holiday 2006 7:30pm X-Ray 8:00pm EastEnders 8:30pm Trauma Has just been caused to me by Plan B magazine choosing to put a track by Trencher in the middle of this generally quite quiet compilation that I am listening to. I literally (nearly) jumped out of my shoes.

9:00pm Spooks 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Graham Norton's Bigger Picture 11:15pm Film 2006 with Jonathan Ross 11:55pm Celebrity Scissorhands 12:25am North Star 1:55am Sign Zone:Panorama 2:55am Sign Zone:Johnny Kingdom: A Year On Exmoor 3:25am Sign Zone:The State Within 4:25am Sign Zone:York Minster 4:55am Joins BBC News 24

7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:15am Trollz 7:40am Fergus McPhail 8:05am Serious Jungle 8:30am CBeebies:The Koala Brothers 8:40am Underground Ernie 8:55am Brum 9:05am Balamory 9:30am Doodle Do 9:50am Step Inside 10:00am Barnaby Bear 10:15am Our Planet 10:30am Numbertime 10:45am Let's Write a Story 11:00am Look and Read 11:20am Testament: The Bible in Animation 11:50am Focus 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:00pm Aiming for Excellence 1:30pm One Minute to Zero 3:15pm Castle in the Country 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Sudo-Q 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm Beyonce Live at the BBC 7:30pm It's Not Easy Being Green NB. this excludes the Jolly Green Giant, because his life was a breeze. He barely needed tip-toes.

8:00pm Mastermind 9:00pm Lock Them Up or Let Them Out 10:00pm Have I Got News for You 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm This Life 12:00am This Life 1:00am BBC Learning Zone: Languages and Travel:Deutsch Plus 2 2:00am Make German Your Business 1 and 2 4:00am Working with the Germans 4:30am Eurografters: Germany 5:00am Cityscapes 5:20am Talk the Talk: Compilation

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:00pm This Morning: I'm a Celebrity Special 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm The Price Is Right 2:30pm Dickinson's Real Deal 3:30pm Pocoyo 3:35pm Mr Bean: The Animated Series 3:55pm Tricky Quickies 4:00pm King Arthur's Disasters 4:30pm My Parents are Aliens 5:00pm The Price Is Right 6:00pm ITV Wales News and Weather 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Wales This Week 8:30pm Coronation Street 9:00pm I'm A Celebrity - Get Me Out Of Here! I didn’t know this was back aready. Here are some rumoured stars.

Calum Best, Lee Ryan, Rachel Stevens, Rachel Hunter, Nancy Dell’Olio, Myleene Klass, Dickie Davis and David Gest. It makes me feel old that some of these has beens were ‘am beings’ in my recentish memories. I quite like Myleene Klass, I think she’s above this.

Lee Ryan however, is a class A knob sack.

10:30pm ITV News 11:00pm Karaoke Queen 11:30pm Wales World of Rugby 12:00am Drivers Uncovered: Tonight 12:25am ITV Play: The Mint 4:35am I Want That House 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:25am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am Will and Grace 8:55am Frasier 9:30am Power to the People 10:00am Preachers to Be 11:00am Young Black Farmers 11:50am Designers Under Pressure 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Headland 1:25pm Eye of the Needle 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Youthdance 2006 8:00pm 100% English 9:00pm Monarchy by David Starkey I wish all program titles were followed by the name of who they are by. This would leave me having to write far less.

10:00pm Without a Trace 11:00pm Extraordinary Breastfeeding I really don’t see where they can go with this program. Unless they got a woman to breastfeed out of her elbow.

That’d be worth seeing.

12:00am Partypoker.com Late Night Poker Masters 1:05am World Cup Skiing 2:05am Mysterious Skin 3:55am Final Communique 4:00am Tudor Times 4:20am Tudor Times 4:40am Tudor Times 5:00am Jamaica 5:15am Jamaica 5:30am Making It 5:35am Making It 5:40am That's My Life 5:45am That's My Life 5:50am That's My Life 5:55am That's My Life

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:15am Bear in the Big Blue House 6:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 6:50am Hi-5 7:20am Rupert Bear 7:40am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:20am Thomas & Friends 8:40am Bird Bath 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:30pm Hart to Hart: Two Harts in 3/4 Time I’m sure they could have thought of a synonym to use for ‘Hart’ amongst this? 3:35pm five news update 3:40pm Moonlight Becomes You 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm In the Grid 7:00pm five news 7:15pm The Gadget Show 8:00pm Fifth Gear 9:00pm Middle Child Syndrome Most common symptom of this is having both older and younger siblings.

10:00pm Tripping Over 11:05pm A Girl's Guide to 21st Century Sex Quite frankly I think that Girl Guides are far too young to be up this late, let alone considering swotting up on modern sex.

11:50pm Swinging I can only assume this is a preview of what’s to come at 12.45am. 12:20am NBA Action 12:45am Golf - The Challenge Is presumably to not fall asleep watching golf at this time.1:35am NFL Live: The Monday Night Game 5:10am French Football - Le Championnat

7:00pm Brand New Honey We're Killing the Kids 8:00pm Celebrity Scissorhands 9:00pm New Dog Borstal 10:00pm EastEnders 10:30pm Tittybangbang 11:00pm Little Britain 11:30pm Family Guy 11:50pm Family Guy 12:15am Three's Outtakes 12:25am Celebrity Scissorhands Uncut 2:25am Tittybangbang 2:55am New Dog Borstal Tired of yout life drudging along at a snail’s pace? Do the hours drag? Want to get the hell out of this soul destroying degree you’re currently attempting to study?

The best advice I can give you is to join gair rhydd. Because here at gr towers each week skips by as though it is no longer than seven days. In fact, it goes far quicker. It seems like only yesterday I was sat here writing about TV. In fact, that’s because it was, ‘cause I had to do that Tunnel Vision bollocks for Quench, but that’s besides the point. I almost wish I was writing an essay. And that is a low.

7:00pm Sounds of the Seventies Shorts 7:10pm Doctor Who 8:00pm The World 8:30pm The Day of the Triffids I know that you guys, the loyal readership of TV Desk, hold my opinion in such high esteem, so this week I am compelling you to purchase a copy of Plan B magazine. For the cover-mounted CD is really something quite special. It’s a compilation of bands that are all members of the Southern Records roster and includes a song by Battle Of Mice, who sound very much like Joanna Newsom fronting Slint.

Which I’m sure you all agree is an awesome prospect. Other than that, I have mostly been listening to Black Flag and Minor Threat. Not because I like them, but because I really want to.9:00pm The Martians and Us 10:00pm A for Andromeda 11:25pm H G Wells 12:55am H G Wells and Me 1:25am Forty Minutes On 2:25am A for Andromeda

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am Biker Mice from Mars 8:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:50am Emmerdale 10:20am Emmerdale 10:50am The Montel Williams Show 11:35am Judge Judy 12:00pm Coronation Street 12:30pm Emmerdale 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm A Load Of Different Chat Shows 5:15pm Airline 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm Superman 8:00pm Trinny and Susannah Undress 9:00pm Teenage Tourettes Camp 10:30pm I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11:30pm Coronation Street 12:30am I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here Now Live 1:30am ITV Play: Playdate

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with... Magic Numbers 8:00am Wake Up with...

Magic Numbers 8:30am Whatever...

You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Whatever... You Want 11:00am Nothing but... Rod Stewart 12:00pm E4 Music: Uninterrupted 1:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 2:00pm The OC 3:00pm Beauty and the Geek 4:00pm Scrubs 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm The OC 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Scrubs 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Hollyoaks: In the City 10:00pm Save the Last Dance 12:10am Russell Brand's Got Issues 12:40am Invasion 1:30am Hollyoaks: In the City 2:30am Russell Brand's Got Issues 2:55am Queer as Folk 3:45am Beauty and the Geek 4:35am Switched 4:50am Switched 5:10am Switched

6:10am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:25am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am Will and Grace 8:55am Frasier 9:30am Power to the People 10:00am Preachers to Be 11:00am Young Black Farmers 11:50am Designers Under Pressure 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder 1:20pm Wild Thing I Love You 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Rownd a Rownd 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Ffermio 9:00pm Gwyl Cerdd Dant Rhosllannerchrugog A'r Cylch 10:00pm Sgorio 11:05pm Y Clwb Rygbi 11:35pm Monarchy by David Starkey 12:35am The War at Home 1:05am 100 Percent English 2:05am Beyond the Valley of the Dolls 4:00am Tudor Times 5:00am Jamaica 5:30am Making It

Lock Them Up

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gairrhydd

27

TUESDAY

NOVEMBER.13.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Blue Peter

Dad’s Army

Extinct

Natural Born Killers

In the Grid

BBC1 5.00pm

BBC2 7.00pm

ITV1 11.00pm

C4 12.00am

five 6.30pm

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Animal 24/7 10:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am Car Booty 12:00pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Murder, She Wrote 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:Chucklevision 3:40pm Arthur 3:55pm What's New Scooby-Doo? 4:15pm The Story of Tracy Beaker 4:45pm Keep Your Hair On 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Watchdog 7:30pm EastEnders 8:00pm Holby City 9:00pm A Child Against All Odds 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm The Welsh in London Lost and confused 11:15pm Imagine... Who Cares About Art? I don’t give a flying fuck about art.

Not right now anyway. I’ve got too much to do. When I’m not busy I do like Goya. I saw his work in Madrid. I even did my A-Level Spanish coursework on his life and his art. Other people wrote about really obvious crap like paella and bull-fighting. Not me. I was a model student. 12:05am Celebrity Scissorhands 12:35am Thief 2:40am Sign Zone:Coast 3:40am Sign Zone:Lost Cities of the Ancients 4:40am Joins BBC News 24

7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:15am Trollz 7:40am Fergus McPhail 8:05am Serious Jungle 8:30am CBeebies:The Koala Brothers 8:40am Underground Ernie 8:55am Brum 9:05am Balamory 9:30am Doodle Do 9:50am Step Inside 10:00am Barnaby Bear 10:15am Our Planet 10:30am Primary History 10:50am Primary Geography 11:10am Horizon 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:00pm Bobinogs 1:10pm Science Clips 1:20pm Science Clips Investigates 1:30pm A Year at Kew 2:00pm am.pm 3:05pm Wild Scotland 3:15pm Castle in the Country 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Sudo-Q 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm Dad's Army 7:30pm Jamie Owen’s Welsh Journeys 8:00pm Heston Blumenthal: In Search of Perfection 8:30pm Digging Deep 9:00pm Horizon 9:50pm This World: Japan - Retired Husband Syndrome 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm This Life 12:00am This Life 12:45am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Schools:Keystage 3 Bitesize Revision - Science 1 4:00am Keystage 3 Bitesize Revision Science 2 I remember at a parents evening before my A-Level, the head of Spanish told me and my mum I was going to get a C because I didn’t ...

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:00pm This Morning: I'm a Celebrity Special 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm The Price Is Right 2:30pm Dickinson's Real Deal 3:30pm Pocoyo 3:35pm Mr Bean: The Animated Series 3:55pm Tricky Quickies 4:00pm King Arthur's Disasters 4:30pm My Parents are Aliens 5:00pm The Price Is Right 5:30pm I'm A Celebrity - Get Me Out Of Here! Exclusive 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm My Trust in Wales 8:00pm Trinny and Susannah Undress 9:00pm I'm A Celebrity - Get Me Out of Here!

10:00pm Dating The Enemy 10:30pm ITV News 11:00pm Extinct 11:30pm Tarrant on TV 12:05am Motorsport UK 12:40am ITV Play: The Mint 3:45am Mum's On Strike 4:20am Date My Daughter 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News ... do any work. I explained that this was because I was bored of filling in the gaps on sheets and that it was just easy. I got an A for Spanish, obviously, and on results day my teacher said, “Well done, Neil. You proved me wrong.” I replied, “I don’t know why you doubted me. Spanish is easy.” Now who’s the fool?

6:00am The Cubeez 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Power to the People 10:00am Preachers to Be 11:00am Young Black Farmers 11:50am Designers Under Pressure 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Headland 1:25pm Proud Parents 1:40pm Above Us the Waves 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Youthdance 2006 8:00pm It's Me or the Dog 8:30pm Cooking It 9:00pm Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares 10:00pm Monster 12:00am Natural Born Killers 2:20am Room to Rent 4:00am Jamaica 4:15am Making It 4:20am Making It 4:25am Count Me In 4:55am Count Me In 5:25am That's My Life 5:30am War Game I had a book called this when I was younger. It was about the football match that was meant to have taken place between England and the Germans on Christmas Day during World War One. I won’t watch this but I want to ‘cos I want to find out if it’s a programme about the book. It was well good and quite sad at the end. I really want to know but I never will.

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:15am Bear in the Big Blue House 6:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 6:50am Hi-5 7:20am Rupert Bear 7:40am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:20am Thomas & Friends 8:40am Bird Bath 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:30pm Beyond the Prairie: the True Story of Laura Ingalls Wilder 3:35pm five news update 3:40pm Diamond Girl 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm In the Grid 7:00pm five news 7:15pm Tim Marlow on... Highlights of the New Tate Modern Like anyone who watches channel five will give a shit about this. I don’t watch a lot of channel five and I don’t even care about this.

8:00pm Make Me a Supermodel 9:00pm CSI: Miami 10:00pm CSI:NY I haven’t watched CSI for ages. It is so good though. I remember watching one about snakes or something and plants that smelt like dead bodies maybe. I can’t remember but I do remember that it was really good.

11:00pm The Body Farm 12:00am The FBI Files 1:00am NASCAR - Chase for the Nextel Cup 1:50am NBA Basketball 4:20am V8 Supercars 5:10am Race and Rally UK 5:35am Motorsport Mundial

7:00pm The Apprentice USA 7:45pm The Real Hustle 8:00pm Celebrity Scissorhands 9:00pm Little Britain 9:30pm The Catherine Tate Show 10:00pm EastEnders 10:30pm Torchwood 11:20pm Tittybangbang 11:55pm Celebrity Scissorhands Uncut 1:55am Torchwood 2:45am The Ferocious Mr Fix It I’m coming into your town. Night is falling to the ground, but I can still see where you loved yourself before he tore it all down. April 12th, with nobody else around; you were outside the house, where’s your mother? When he put you in the car. When he took you down the road. And I can still see where it was open, the door he slammed closed. It was open, the door he slammed closed. It was open, long ago. But don’t lose me now, don’t lose me now.

Though I know that I’m not useful anyhow. Just let me stick around, while I tell you like before, you should say his name the way that he said yours.

7:00pm Sounds of the Seventies Shorts 7:10pm Adam Adamant Lives 8:00pm The World 8:30pm The Cult of... Adam Adamant Lives! 9:00pm The Crow Road 10:00pm The Crow Road 10:55pm Mark Lawson Talks to Iain Banks 11:55pm Nation on Film: Women's Football 12:25am The Cult of... Adam Adamant Lives! 12:55am Masters and Commanders: No 10 and the Generals 1:55am Mark Lawson Talks to Iain Banks 2:55am Nation on Film: Women's Football 3:25am The Cult of... Adam Adamant Lives! Baby daughter on the road, you’re wrapped up warm in daddy’s coat. And I can still see the cigarette’s heat. I can’t believe all that you're telling me, what is cutting like the smoke through your teeth as you’re telling me “forget it.” But if I could tear his throat, and spill his blood between my jaws, and erase his name out for good, don’t you know that I would?

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am ATOM 8:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:25am The Montel Williams Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:00pm Queen Mania 9:00pm Britain's Oldest Mums and Dads 10:30pm I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11:30pm Entourage 12:00am The Office: An American Workplace Damn, I ran out of space.

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with... Girls Aloud 8:00am Wake Up with... Girls Aloud 8:30am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Whatever... You Want 11:00am Nothing but... Bon Jovi 12:00pm E4 Music: Uninterrupted 1:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 2:00pm The OC 3:00pm Beauty and the Geek 4:00pm Scrubs 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm The OC 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Scrubs 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Ghost Whisperer 10:00pm Stop Treating Me Like a Kid 11:00pm Unanimous 12:05am Unanimous: The Fallout 12:35am Shameless 1:45am Stop Treating Me Like a Kid 2:45am One Tree Hill 3:25am Shameless 4:25am Beauty and the Geek 5:05am Switched 5:30am Switched Switched I didn’t even want to use that song.

6:10am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Power to the People 10:00am Preachers to Be 11:00am The KNTV Show 11:30am Campyfan 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder 1:20pm Hitler's Holocaust 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Retro 7:00pm Wedi 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Y Byd ar Bedwar 9:00pm Y Werin Bobl 9:30pm Cowbois ac Injans 10:30pm Y Clwb Pel-Droed Rhyngwladol 12:45am Without a Trace 1:40am Cutting Edge 2:40am FIVB Beach Volleyball 4:00am Jamaica 4:15am Making It 4:20am Making It 4:25am Count Me In 4:55am Count Me In 5:25am That's My Life 5:30am War Game

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NOVEMBER.13.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Robins of Eden

Underground Ernie

BBC2 8.50pm

BBC2 8.40am

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Animal 24/7 10:00am Homes under the Hammer 10:30am The State Opening of Parliament 12:15pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Murder, She Wrote 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:Chucklevision 3:40pm Arthur 3:55pm What's New Scooby Doo? 4:15pm SMart 4:45pm Keep Your Hair On 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 6:50pm Match of the Day Yo. Holland versus England innit. 7 o clock KO. That’s ‘kick off’, not ‘knock out’. Knock out is at approximately 8.45pm.

9:00pm Herald of Free Enterprise: The True Story 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:30pm Queen's Speech Broadcast Word from my Gran is that the Queen’s got a bad back or something, so mightn’t be able to open parliament.

10:35pm The National Lottery Draws 10:45pm Frontline Iraq 11:15pm ONE Life 12:00am Celebrity Scissorhands 12:30am Blow Out 2:20am Sign Zone:Child of Our Time: the Children's Stories 2:50am Sign Zone:A Child Against All Odds 3:50am Sign Zone:Digging Deep 4:20am Joins BBC News 24

7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:15am Trollz 7:40am Fergus McPhail 8:05am Serious Jungle 8:30am CBeebies:The Koala Brothers 8:40am Underground Ernie 8:55am Brum 9:05am Balamory 9:30am Doodle Do 9:50am Step Inside 10:00am Barnaby Bear 10:15am Our Planet 10:30am What the Ancients Did for Us 11:30am Sealed Cargo 1:00pm Uncharted Territory 1:30pm Working Lunch 2:00pm Small Town Gardens 2:10pm Sun, Sea and Bargain Spotting 3:10pm Castle in the Country 3:40pm Flog It! 4:25pm Ready Steady Cook 5:10pm Weakest Link 5:55pm Queen's Speech Broadcast 6:00pm Sudo-Q 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm The Perils of the Motorway Pitstop 7:30pm Johnny Kingdom: A Year On Exmoor 8:00pm Natural World 8:50pm Robins of Eden 9:00pm Torchwood 9:50pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 10:20pm Look around You 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm This Life 12:05am This Life THIS LIFE IS BACK ON TELLY! OH MY FUCKING GOD THAT’S AMAZING!! DOUBLE BILL ME!!

12:50am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Schools:Key Stage 3 Bitesize Revision: Science 3 4:00am Go for It! Oh alright then, turn around...

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:00pm This Morning: I'm a Celebrity Special 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm The Price Is Right 2:30pm Dickinson's Real Deal 3:30pm Pocoyo 3:35pm Mr Bean: The Animated Series 3:55pm Tricky Quickies 4:00pm Horrid Henry 4:15pm Bel's Boys 4:30pm Jungle Run 5:00pm The Price Is Right Joe Pasquale got rubbish. I used to like him. My grampy took me to see him LIVE! I don’t mean ‘live’ as in ‘not die’.

5:30pm I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! Exclusive 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 6:55pm Queen's Speech Broadcast by the Labour Party 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm The Bill 9:00pm I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!

10:00pm Dating the Enemy Glamour model Daniela (obviously), spends three days with DJ Tony, who does his best to disprove her preconceptions about dating Northern men. I’m glad to see ITV is doing its best to show northerners are the enemy.

10:30pm ITV News 11:00pm Becoming Bond 11:30pm Entourage 12:00am ITV Play: The Mint 4:05am The Jeremy Kyle Show 5:00am ITV Nightscreen

6:00am The Cubeez 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Power to the People 10:00am Giving Up the Weed 11:00am Young Black Farmers 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Headland 1:30pm Proud Parents 1:40pm The Wackiest Ship in the Army 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show Surely it’s no longer new?

6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Youthdance 2006 8:00pm How Clean Is Your House?

8:30pm Your Money or Your Wife A solicitor who owes £30,000 gets advice. God help us all.

9:00pm My New Face “Documentary about surgeons...who help disfigured children”. I first read this as “documentary about surgeons...who help disfigure children” and thought I had finally found my calling. Sadly not to be.

10:30pm Goldplated 11:35pm John Peel's Record Box 12:45am UK Music Hall of Fame 1:55am Wild Side 3:35am Goalissimo!

Described by What’s On TV magazine only as being “Football Action”. You can’t say much fairer than that though, I am totally there, if it wasn’t on at stupid o clock. 4:30am Trans World Sport 5:25am Countdown

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:15am Bear in the Big Blue House 6:40am MechaNick 6:50am Hi-5 7:20am Rupert Bear 7:40am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:20am Thomas &#38; Friends 8:40am Bird Bath 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:30pm Seduced 3:30pm Columbo: By Dawn's Early Light 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm In the Grid 7:00pm five news 7:15pm Game Ranger Diaries 8:00pm ASBO Teen to Beauty Queen Because of course, all people with ASBOS are grotesquely ugly, and so this is well worth a program being made of it. Since when can you be ‘trained’ to be beautiful anyway. My parents attempted to home school me on the issue, and quite obviously failed miserably. But thankfully as a result I completely lack any social etiquette, which as a humourous aside has its benefits.

9:00pm Half Past Dead It’s got Steven Seagal in it, so TV John probably thinks it’s ace.

11:00pm Shock Docs: Paying for Love in Paradise Something about “luxury exotic holiday resorts’. BRILL! 12:00am PartyPoker.com World Series II 1:30am NHL Ice Hockey 4:00am NHRA Drag Racing 5:20am Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix

7:00pm Dog Borstal 8:00pm Celebrity Scissorhands 9:00pm The Real Hustle 9:30pm The Real Hustle 10:00pm Flashdance 11:30pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:00am Celebrity Scissorhands Uncut 2:00am The Real Hustle Yawn. So I’m at the stage where I’ve given myself 15 minutes to fill these two boxes and get all the pictures done, and realistically I know that’s not going to happen, but hey, I’m a romantic and I believe in Hollywood. Last night I went to see Arab Strap in Bristol and didn’t see any of you lot there. It’s quite depressing to think of really. Today I slept in and then our landlord came round and provided us with further evidence that he is in fact actually mental. I got a cheese salad baguette from the Embassy Cafe at Cathays Community Centre, which I whole-heartedly recommend for good and interesting food and premier service. 2:30am The Indestructibles 3:00am Dog Borstal

7:00pm The Martians and Us 8:00pm The World 8:30pm Valley of Song 9:00pm Lonesome Dove 10:30pm Don't Watch That Watch This!

11:00pm Never Mind the Full Stops 11:30pm Madonna Talks to Kirsty Wark 12:00am The Martians and Us 1:00am Mark Lawson Talks to Iain Banks 2:00am Don't Watch That Watch This! 2:30am Valley of Song 3:00am Never Mind the Full Stops 3:30am Don't Watch That Watch This!

Well, my plan to finish at three has gone to pot, because Music Will has just come into the office. This was quite nice though really, because I have been sat here with my discman for the last couple of hours generally ignoring people and not speaking. Will is interesting and talks about music rather than paginations, fonts and investigations into waterboards, which means he is my kind of person. Probably Barrymore’s too.

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am ATOM 8:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:25am The Montel Williams Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Becoming Bond 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:00pm Nanny 911 9:00pm Driving Mum and Dad Mad 10:00pm Coronation Street 10:30pm I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here Now! 1:00am ITV Play: Playdate

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with... Jack Black 8:00am Wake Up with... Jack Black 8:30am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Whatever... You Want 11:00am Nothing but... Hall of Fame: Robbie 12:00pm E4 Music: Uninterrupted 1:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 2:00pm The OC 3:00pm Beauty and the Geek: The Aftermath 4:00pm Scrubs 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm The OC 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Scrubs 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Desperate Housewives 10:00pm Bo in the USA 10:30pm Star Stories 11:05pm Scrubs 11:35pm Goldplated 12:35am Sex and the City 1:15am No Angels 2:15am Desperate Housewives 2:55am No Angels 3:55am Beauty and the Geek: The Aftermath 4:40am Switched For A While

6:10am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am Young Black Farmers 9:50am Designers Under Pressure 10:00am Power to the People 10:30am Giving Up the Weed 11:30am Bitesize Cymraeg Ail-Iaith 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder 1:20pm Your Money or Your Wife 1:55pm How Clean Is Your House? 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Rownd a Rownd 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:25pm Darllediad Araith Y Frenhines 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Cwpwrdd Dillad 9:00pm 04 Wal 9:30pm Sioe Gelf 10:00pm Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares 11:00pm Queen's Speech Broadcast By: The Labour Party 11:05pm Goldplated 12:05am Risky Business

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

Horrid Henry

My New Face

Shock Docs

ITV 4.00pm

C4 9.00pm

five 11.00pm

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff, CF24 4NN

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THURSDAY

NOVEMBER.13.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Trollz

The Ferret

Lets Write Fiction!

The Birthday

Brainteaser

BBC2 7.15am

itv1 7.30pm

BBC2 10.30am

Channel 4 4.55am

five 12.30pm

6:00am Breakfast I TV Ellen care so much about you readers, that I am in Gairr Rhydd at 10 am whilst some of you are still at home drooling onto your Sonic the Hedgehog bed sheets. Its kinda lonely in here, just me, Elaine and a curly wurly I bought earlier. She could kill me and no one would know....

Oh dear god i forgot to put deoderant on, im gonna smell soon and its gonna be awkward 9:15am Animal 24/7 10:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am Car Booty 12:00pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Murder, She Wrote 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:ChuckleVision 3:40pm Arthur 3:55pm What's New Scooby Doo? 4:15pm SMart 4:45pm Keep Your Hair On 5:00pm Young Dracula 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Super Vets 7:30pm EastEnders 8:00pm The Innocence Project 9:00pm The State Within 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Queen's Speech Response by Plaid Cymru - the Party of Wales 10:40pm Dragon's Eye 11:10pm Question Time 12:10am This Week 1:05am Celebrity Scissorhands 1:35am Sign Zone:Child of Our Time: the Children's Stories

Ive been thinking, what are jaffa cakes? Are they biscuits or cakes?

7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:15am Trollz 7:40am Fergus McPhail 8:05am Serious Jungle 8:30am CBeebies:The Koala Brothers 8:40am Underground Ernie 8:55am Brum 9:05am Balamory 9:30am Doodle Do 9:50am Step Inside 10:00am Barnaby Bear 10:15am Our Planet 10:30am Let's Write Fiction 10:50am Folk Dance 11:10am Around Scotland 11:30am Focus 11:50am Emotional Literacy 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:00pm Small Town Gardens 1:20pm Summer Magic 3:10pm Castle in the Country 3:40pm Flog It! 4:25pm Ready Steady Cook 5:10pm Weakest Link 5:55pm Queen's Speech Response by the Conservative Party 6:00pm Sudo-Q 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm The Trees That Made Britain 7:30pm A Pembrokeshire Farm 8:00pm Coast 9:00pm The Catherine Tate Show 9:30pm Lead Balloon 10:00pm Never Mind the Buzzcocks 10:30pm Newsnight: Inside Al Qaeda A Spy's Story 11:20pm Queen's Speech Response by Plaid Cymru the Party of Wales 11:25pm This Life 12:10am This Life 12:50am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Schools:GCSE Bitesize Revision: English 2 - Poetry 4:00am GCSE Bitesize Revision

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:00pm This Morning: I'm a Celebrity Special 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm The Price Is Right 2:30pm Dickinson's Real Deal 3:30pm Pocoyo 3:35pm Mr Bean: The Animated Series 3:55pm Tricky Quickies 4:00pm Horrid Henry 4:15pm Bel's Boys 4:30pm Jungle Run 5:00pm The Price Is Right 5:30pm I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!

Exclusive 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 6:55pm Queen's Speech Broadcast by the Conservative Party The Queen and David Cameron listen to Lethal Bizzle together.

7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm The Ferret 8:00pm I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!

9:00pm Strictly Confidential 10:00pm I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! 10:30pm ITV News 11:00pm Party Political Broadcast by Plaid Cymru, The Party of Wales 11:05pm D.I.Y. TV 11:35pm Waterfront 12:05am Free Ride 12:30am ITV Play: The Mint 3:40am Britain's Best Back Gardens 4:05am Driving Mum And Dad Mad This would be amazing if the goal was to have your parents insitutionalised! The first child who does it gets a million sweets

Elaine has left now I’m completely alone, I’m so lonely. I have to do three sodding pages this week due to hilarious random deletage of one of my pages last week, which TV Neil did so I am in debt to him. TV pages are like legal tender round here. 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Power to the People 10:00am The Big Drugs Debate 11:00am Crip on a Trip 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Headland 1:30pm The Man in the Iron Mask 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Youthdance 2006 8:00pm The River Cottage Treatment 9:00pm UK Music Hall of Fame 2006 11:15pm Battle Royale II: Requiem Apparently its not as good as the first one. According to some bloke I chatted to in the pub once. 1:50am Devdas 4:55am The Birthday 5:10am Countdown 5:55am Inuk According to the the fountain of all knowledge Wikipedia Jaffa Cakes “have to be called cakes for taxation purposes but are usually found in the biscuit section.” Jaffa Cakes can not be taxed as they’re not a luxury item, and biscuits are? Has the world gone mad? Cakes

Elaine is back and answering phones and stuff, its kinda depressing, she is doing something useful and im picking bits of curly wurly out of my teeth and writing about Jaffa Cakes. Where did my life go wrong eh?

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:15am Bear in the Big Blue House 6:40am MechaNick 6:50am Hi-5 7:20am Rupert Bear 7:40am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:20am Thomas &#38; Friends 8:40am Bird Bath 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:40pm September Gun 3:40pm Tidal Wave: No Escape 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm In the Grid 7:00pm five news 7:15pm Dream Holiday Home 7:30pm Killer Crocodile I think I have chocolate on my face but there is no one here to tell me if I do, apart from Elaine and I dont think were that close yet.

8:30pm Make Me a Supermodel 10:00pm Criminal Minds 11:00pm Middle Child Syndrome We never get to stay up as late and we never get as many hugs and sweets and stuff. We are also deemed “too old” for a photo with Santa at christmas. 12:00am John Barnes' Football Night 12:55am The Great Big British Quiz 4:00am Dutch Football 4:45am Major League Soccer

7:00pm The Real Hustle 7:30pm Runaways 8:00pm Honey We're Killing the Kids Revisited 9:00pm Celebrity Scissorhands 10:00pm EastEnders 10:30pm Tittybangbang 11:00pm Celebrity Scissorhands 12:00am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:30am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 1:00am Dog Borstal 1:55am Honey We're Killing the Kids Revisited 2:55am The Real Hustle 3:25am Runaways I must be having some quarter life crisis, I got a new and painful piercing the other day called a scafolding. It goes from one side of your ear to the other in a long bar, and I like it but the intense pain of lying on it when I’m asleep... owww. Also the “Why did you get that done???” and looks of slight disgust are nice too. Apparently you cant just get random holes put in your body for decoration purposes, and “because I wanted to” wont work either. I tend to either go

7:00pm Sounds of the Seventies Shorts 7:10pm The Avengers 8:00pm The World 8:30pm Up Pompeii 9:00pm Forty Minutes On 10:00pm The Cult of... Adam Adamant Lives! 10:30pm The Late Edition 11:00pm I, Claudius 11:55pm Togas on TV Gladiator, The Life of Brian, Carry On Caesar, Troy (that Eric Bana, I would) Spartacus, erm...

12:55am The Late Edition An actual TV recommendation, this show’s good.

1:25am Forty Minutes On 2:25am The Martians and Us 3:25am Mark Lawson Talks to Iain Banks a) “To annoy you” (and kinda point at them for a long time until they get scared) OR b) “because I never got a miniature drum kit for my tenth birthday.“(More pointing, some kind of “you got served”esque head movement. Then you kill them.)

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am ATOM 8:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:25am The Montel Williams Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm James Bond: For Real 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:00pm Xtra Factor: Aftermath 9:00pm The Lookey Likey Show 9:30pm The Lookey Likey Show 10:00pm Test Drive My Girlfriend 10:30pm I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11:30pm I'm A Celebrity

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with... P Diddy 8:00am Wake Up with... P Diddy 8:30am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Whatever... You Want 11:00am Nothing but... Hall of Fame 12:00pm E4 Music: Uninterrupted 1:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 2:00pm The OC 3:00pm Reunion 4:00pm Scrubs 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm The OC 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Scrubs 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Scrubs 9:30pm The War at Home 10:00pm The Sopranos 11:15pm Bo in the USA 11:45pm 8 Out of 10 Cats 12:20am Smack the Pony 12:50am Scrubs 1:20am The War at Home 1:45am The Sopranos 2:45am Bo in the USA 3:10am 8 Out of 10 Cats 3:35am Smack the Pony 4:05am Reunion 4:45am Switched

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am Young Black Farmers 9:50am Designers Under Pressure 10:00am Power to the People 10:25am Tate Modern 10:30am The Big Drugs Debate 11:30am Campyfan 12:00pm News 12:30pm Planed Plant 12:40pm Pingu 12:45pm Tomos A'i Ffrindiau 1:00pm Planed Plant 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder 1:20pm Time Team 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant 4:20pm Planed Plant 4:45pm Planed Plant 4:50pm Planed Plant 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 5:55pm Queen's Speech Broadcast 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm OFN 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:25pm Darllediad Araith es 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Darllediad Araith Y Frenhines 8:05pm Pobol y Cwm 8:30pm Chez Dudley 9:35pm Bandit 10:05pm My Face

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff, CF24 4NN

02920 229977

30 gairrhydd

FRIDAY

NOVEMBER.13.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Children in Need

Children in Need

BBC1 7pm

BBC1 7pm

Oh sweet jesus I just accidently deleted this page half way through it, I hate everyone.6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Animal 10:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am Car Booty 12:00pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Murder, She Wrote 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:ChuckleVision 3:40pm Arthur 3:55pm Pinky and the Brain 4:15pm The Basil Brush Show 4:45pm Keep Your Hair On 4:55pm The Slammer 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 6:55pm Queen's Speech Response by the Liberal Democrats 7:00pm Children in Need Fearne Cotton! Josie D’arby!

7:35pm Party for Pudsey Girls Aloud!

Sugababes! Heart Throb Richard Fleeshman!

7:55pm Children in Need Westlife! Its for Charity! Holby City Cast!

8:25pm Party for Pudsey Nelly Furtado! Its for charity!

8:50pm Children in Need Ronan Keating! Keane! He’s out of rehab!

9:15pm Party for Pudsey 9:45pm Children in Need 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Children in Need 11:00pm Party for Pudsey 11:20pm Children in Need 1:00am Children in Need 1:25am Joins BBC News

7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:15am Trollz 7:40am Fergus McPhail 8:05am Serious Jungle 8:30am CBeebies:The Koala Brothers 8:40am Underground Ernie 8:55am Brum 9:05am Balamory 9:30am Doodle Do 9:50am Step Inside 10:00am Barnaby Bear 10:15am Our Planet 10:30am Razzledazzle 10:50am Making Sense of Health 11:10am Primary History 11:30am Primary Geography: Using the Land 11:40am See You, See Me 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:30pm Coast: Northern Ireland - Whitehead 1:35pm 633 Squadron 3:10pm Castle in the Country 3:40pm Flog It! 4:25pm Ready Steady Cook 5:10pm Weakest Link 5:55pm Queen's Speech Response by the Liberal Democrats 6:00pm Sudo-Q 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm Scrum V Live 9:30pm Simon Schama's Power of Art 10:30pm Newsnight 11:00pm Newsnight Review 11:35pm Later with Jools Holland 12:35am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Open University and General Interest:Ever Wondered about Food? 2:30am Renaissance Secrets 3:00am Renaissance Secrets 3:30am Renaissance Secrets 4:00am What's Right for Children? Copius amounts of horse porn! 4:30am The Museum of Conflicting Histories Is this an American museum where they just won everything. 5:00am Words

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am Entertainment Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:00pm This Morning: I'm a Celebrity Special 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm The Price Is Right 2:30pm Dickinson's Real Deal 3:30pm Pocoyo 3:35pm Mr Bean: The Animated Series 3:55pm Tricky Quickies 4:00pm Horrid Henry 4:15pm Bel's Boys 4:30pm The New Worst Witch 5:00pm The Price Is Right 5:30pm I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! Exclusive 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 6:55pm Queen's Speech Broadcast by the Liberal Democrats 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Tonight 8:30pm Coronation Street 9:00pm I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! Former broom cupboard presenter? Former Hearsay member?

Former Kylie Minogue dueter? Former Busted Member? Former Liza Minelli husband? Any current celebrities? No. 10:00pm Dating the Enemy I fancy Dougie from McFly. 10:30pm ITV News 11:00pm It's My Shout Next week: We have a new mysterious TV editor coming next week. It may or may not be Cliff Richard.

11:30pm Its not Rio Ferdinand's Wind Ups 12:00am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:25am Too Many Cooks 5:00am Morning News

Another Top Five for you to fill space.

Top Five McFly Members 5. Tom - He’s pudgy of face 4. Harry - He’s sideburns are too long 3. Danny - He looks a bit like a naughty schoolboy 2. Dougie - He has a sexy tattoo but he is clearly retarded 1. Charlie - Errrr 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Power to the People 10:00am Guns Are Cool 11:00am Going Cold Turkey 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Headland 1:25pm King of Queens 1:50pm Bless This House 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:35pm Unreported World 8:00pm The War at Home 8:30pm The Simpsons 9:00pm Unanimous 10:00pm 8 Out of 10 Cats 10:35pm Bo in the USA 11:10pm Man to Man with Dean Learner 11:40pm My Name Is Earl 12:10am The Album Chart Show 12:35am Gumball 3000 1:15am Partypoker.com Late Night Poker Masters 2:15am The Real Goodfellas 3:15am The Death Squads 4:15am 100 Percent English 5:15am Countdown Karen O or Pete Doherty?

One poster, two sides...

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:15am Bear in the Big Blue House 6:40am MechaNick 6:50am Hi-5 7:20am Rupert Bear 7:40am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:25am Thomas &#38; Friends 8:40am Bird Bath 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news TV Ryan has left us, defected, he went to buy a pint of milk and never came back. 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:35pm Can't Be Heaven 3:40pm Children of Fortune 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away Matildas eating disorder gets worse or something.

6:30pm In the Grid 7:00pm five news 7:30pm Pimp My Ride UK 8:00pm Red Planet Some robot tries to kill Val Kilmer on Mars 10:05pm Alien ThreeI liked this film, I thought it was a slightly different direction to the other films i.e Ripley’s shaved head, and the fact she doesnt kick monster bottom but kinda dies.

But her name’s Ellen so good on her, making me proud. Better than “whats your name? Helen? No? Oh Ellen, like the lesbian?” and someone has recently taken to calling me “Eileen.” Please stop, I hate that name.

12:10am Private Parts - The Trouble With My Breasts Are there telekinetic powers 1:10am The Great Big British Quiz 5:35am Wildlife SOS “You say that I treat you like a book on a shelf, I dont take you out that often.”

7:00pm Celebrity Scissorhands 9:00pm Torchwood 9:50pm Celebrity Scissorhands 2:00am Torchwood 2:50am Torchwood: Declassified 3:00am Honey We're Killing the Kids Revisited Some Top Five Lists to fill space, coz I’m hungry and want to go for lunch and you cant stop me hahahahaha etc.

Top Five People in Neighbours who should die.

1. Lyn. Annoying. Multicoloured hair.

2. Ned. Won Australian Pop Idol. Cant act. Nipple piercing. Again bad hair.

3. Steph. What is the point of her existing.

4. Elle. Stopping the love of Dylan and Sky. 5. Rachel, but also Summer, who should come back just to be shot. Or perhaps her and Rachel could embrace on her return and then Summer spontaneously combusts, causing them both to die in a beautiful fiery inferno. Yeh! Speaking of fiery infernos I had

7:00pm BBC Four Sessions 8:00pm The World 8:30pm Nation on Film: Selling Cars 9:00pm Legends: Petula Clark - Blue Lady 10:00pm Sight and Sound In Concert: Procul Harum 10:30pm QI 11:00pm Don't Watch That Watch This! An attention seeking middle child tries to get her father’s attention. 11:30pm The Avengers 12:20am Legends: Petula Clark - Blue Lady 1:20am Nation on Film: Selling Cars 1:50am Don't Watch That Watch This! 2:20am BBC Four Sessions 3:20am Legends: Petula Clark - Blue Lady my fire alarm checked the other day, so I awoke to a stranger in my room (thought I got lucky for a second) who was trying to tempt the alarm to beep.

It didn’t and reassuringly he shouted “This one dont work either Barry,” to his colleague.

Yeah. So if a fire had taken place my flatmates and me would have died.

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am ATOM 8:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:25am The Montel Williams Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:25pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:10pm Judge Judy 6:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 7:00pm Xtra Factor: Aftermath 8:00pm Xtra Factor: Xcess All Areas 9:00pm David Walliams: My Life with James Bond 10:00pm Casino Royale: Royal World Premiere ITV Special 10:30pm I'm A Celebrity

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with... The Cast of The Prestige 8:00am Wake Up with...

The Cast of The Prestige 8:30am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Whatever... You Want 11:00am Nothing but... Hall of Fame 12:00pm E4 Music: Uninterrupted 1:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 2:00pm The OC 3:00pm Reunion 4:00pm Scrubs 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm The OC 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Scrubs 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Stop Treating Me Like a Kid 10:00pm Unanimous: The Fallout 10:30pm Save the Last Dance 12:40am Porn: A Family Business 1:15am Porn: A Family Business 1:50am Stop Treating Me Like a Kid 2:50am Reunion 3:30am Porn: A Family Business 3:55am Porn: A Family Business

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am Checking Into History 9:20am Designers Under Pressure 9:30am Power to the People 10:00am Guns Are Cool 11:00am Crip on a Trip 11:50am Designers Under Pressure 12:00pm News 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach 12:50pm Planed Plant Bach 1:00pm Tecwyn y Tractor 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder: Youthdance 2006 1:20pm It's Me or the Dog 1:55pm Cooking It 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant 4:50pm Planed Plant 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm Uned 5 6:50pm Pobol y Cwm 7:20pm Y Clwb 9:30pm Naw Tan Naw 10:00pm CNEX 10:15pm Darllediad Araith Y Frenhines 10:20pm Newyddion 10:35pm 8 Out of 10 Cats 11:05pm Queen's Speech 11:15pm Unanimous

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

Children in Need

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SATURDAY

NOVEMBER.13.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Casualty

The Ashes

The X-Factor

Selling Houses

Wildlife SOS

BBC1 8.45pm

BBC2 11.25pm

iTV 6.50pm

C4 3.55pm

five 5.35am

6:00am Breakfast 10:00am Saturday Kitchen 11:30am Rachel's Favourite Food at Home 12:00pm BBC News; Weather 12:10pm Football Focus 1:00pm Grandstand 1:05pm Racing from Ascot and Haydock 2:25pm International Rugby Union 4:30pm Wales on Saturday 5:15pm Outtake TV 5:45pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 6:05pm Strictly Come Dancing 7:15pm Robin Hood 8:00pm The National Lottery: 1 vs 100 8:45pm Casualty 9:35pm Strictly Come Dancing 10:05pm BBC News; Weather 10:25pm Match of the Day 11:45pm The French Connection 1:30am Joins BBC News 24 There’s actually fuck all on. This just makes my job difficult. I’ve got an essay due in on Monday. It’s on Chaucer. I’ve pretty much finished it now so I can’t be arsed to actually finish it. I keep forgetting that when I finish it, I’ll read it and realise that it’s actually a load of shite and I should re-write it. I won’t have time to do that so maybe I just won’t proof read it. Yeah that sounds stupid but there’s so many essays that I really should have proof read. Then I wonder why I don’t do as well as I should.

Being lazy is far better than working hard. University isn’t about working hard and getting good marks. It’s about doing fuck all work and going out and then getting average marks that are still acceptable in society.

6:00am CBeebies:Me Too! 6:20am Bob the Builder 6:30am Big Cook Little Cook 6:50am Bob's Mini Projects 7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:10am Astro Boy 7:30am Dennis the Menace 7:55am BB3B 8:15am Legend of the Dragon 8:40am What's New Scooby Doo? 9:00am TMi 11:45am Sportsround 12:00pm See Hear 12:45pm The Flying Gardener 1:15pm Film 2006 with Jonathan Ross 1:55pm Star Trek 2:45pm Star Trek: The Next Generation 3:30pm Star Trek: The Next Generation 4:15pm Monk 5:00pm What the Papers Say 5:10pm Gardeners' World Specials 5:40pm Hi-de-Hi! 6:10pm Planet Earth 7:10pm The Culture Show 8:00pm TOTP 2 8:25pm Coast 9:25pm Into the West 10:55pm QI 11:25pm The Ashes: Let the Battle Commence 11:50pm Performance 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Open University and General Interest:The Science of Climate 2:30am A Formidable Foe 3:00am A Thread of Quicksilver 3:30am Uncertain Principles 4:00am The Birth of Liquid Crystals 4:30am Open Advice: A Different Way of Learning 5:00am The Lapedo Child You might have noticed I like moaning. And the TV pages are the best place to moan. It’s so self indulgent it’s brilliant. I’m annoyed cos I’m in the office in the afternoon so I’m going to miss out on the pizza tonight.

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Mopatop's Shop 6:20am Pocoyo 6:30am Little Einsteins 6:55am Dora the Explorer 7:25am Lilo and Stitch 7:55am SpongeBob SquarePants 8:15am Biker Mice from Mars 8:50am Avatar 9:25am Spongebob Squarepants 9:40am The Amazing Adrenalini Brothers 9:50am Horrid Henry 10:00am Shuriken School 10:30am Drake and Josh 11:00am Skyland 11:30am The New Adventures of Superman 12:30pm ITV News; Weather 12:35pm ITV Wales News and Weather 12:40pm Casino Royale 3:05pm Agatha Christie's A Caribbean Mystery 4:50pm ITV Wales News and Weather 5:05pm ITV News; Sports Results; Weather 5:20pm All New You've Been Framed!

5:50pm Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

6:50pm The X Factor 8:00pm All Star Family Fortunes 8:50pm The X Factor - The Result 9:25pm I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! No. We’re going to leave you there to rot you stupid fuck brained cunt. I like Big Brother but I can’t stand the ITV reality shows. Real celebrities don’t have time to go on substandard TV programmes.

10:25pm Parkinson 11:25pm ITV News 11:40pm Tenacious D: The Movie - ITV World Premiere Special 12:15am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:35am Trading Treasures 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:00am Inuk 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Honda Formula 4 Powerboats 2006 7:30am Adrenalin Rush 8:00am The Morning Line 8:55am T4:Futurama 9:25am T4:Chancers 10:30am T4:Popworld 11:20am T4:Friends 11:55am T4:Friends 12:25pm T4:All Saints: T4 Special 1:00pm T4:Charmed 2:00pm Channel 4 Racing from Huntingdon and Lingfield Park 3:55pm Selling Houses 4:55pm The Return of the Pink Panther 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:25pm Hitler's Holocaust This is not cheerful tea-time tele. I watched some of it last week with Harriet whilst eating the lovely spag bol she had made. We were going to watch the fireworks. We had to turn it off cos it was putting us off our dinner.

8:25pm How Music Works with Howard Goodall 9:25pm James Bond's Greatest Hits 11:30pm Desperado 1:25am Partypoker.com Late Night Poker Masters 2:25am The Album Chart Show - The Charlatans Special No, don’t even bother. Just fuck off, yeah? One of the Charlatans used to live by my friend. Not that I care now, but I wish I’d cared then cos I would have let his tyres down or put dog shit through his letterbox. Or maybe both.

Probably both. 2:50am Rockfeedback 3:35am George and Mildred 5:15am Countdown There are some proper idiots in Cardiff. One day I think I’m going to snap and tell them.

6:00am Sunrise 6:55am Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 7:10am Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 7:25am Rupert Bear 7:40am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Franklin 8:30am Gerald McBoing Boing 9:00am Jane and the Dragon 9:30am Blue Water High 10:05am Hercules: Legendary Journeys 11:05am Harry and Cosh 11:30am Britain's Worst Pet 12:15pm Samson and Delilah 2:50pm Air Bud: World Pup 4:30pm Domino Day 5:30pm Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid 7:25pm five news and sport 7:45pm NCIS 8:40pm NCIS 9:35pm CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10:35pm Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 11:35pm 28 Days 1:30am The Great Big British Quiz 5:35am Wildlife SOS A black sheep boy revolves over canyons and waterfalls. A black sheep boy dissolves in syringe or in a shower stall.

He says “there’s plenty of time to make you mine tonight, there’s plenty of time to make you mine.” He says “there’s plenty of ways to know you’re not dying, all right. Hell, there’s plenty of light still left in your eyes.” A black sheep boy grows horns, breathing smoke through his microphone. The airwaves stretch and they groan, bleeding, birthing his black diapason. He says “there’s plenty of things to wear when you come to me, every colour of sleeve to be rolled.

There are millions of rolling eyes...

7:00pm International Rugby Union 8:00pm Top Gear 9:00pm The Real Hustle 9:30pm Hard Rain 11:00pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 11:30pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:00am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:30am Family Guy 12:50am Family Guy 1:15am The Real Hustle 1:45am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:15am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:45am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 3:15am The Real Hustle ... that still cling to me. Every language of king is concerned. So why did you bawl from the spell of some old holy song, that some liar laughed as he composed - some liar I loved to control?” A black sheep boy dissolves in hot cream, in sweet moans, in each dead bed and empty home, in each seething bacterium. Killing softly and serial, he lifts his head, handsome, horned, magisterial. He's the smell of the ...

7:00pm City of Islands 7:40pm Desert Music 8:30pm A for Andromeda 10:00pm British Documentary Awards 2006 11:00pm Life Is Beautiful 12:50am The Martians and Us 1:50am British Documentary Awards 2006 2:50am City of Islands 3:30am Desert Music ... moonlight wisteria.

He’s the thrill of the abecedarian.

See the muddy hoofprints where he carried you? And there’s plenty of ways to claim his crimes tonight, and there’s plenty of things to do on his dime. And there’s plenty of ways to wear his hide tonight. You’ve got yours and I’ve got mine. So why did you flee? Don’t you know you can’t leave his control, only call all his wild works your own? So come back and we’ll take them all on.

So come back to your life on the lam.

So come back to your old black sheep man. He says “I am waiting on hoof and on hand. I am waiting, all hated and damned. I am ...

6:00am Ni Ni's Treehouse 7:20am MacDonald's Farm 8:25am Mags and Mo 8:30am Bug Alert! 8:50am The Wheels on the Bus 9:00am Teleshopping 9:25am Emmerdale Omnibus 12:10pm Coronation Street Omnibus 3:00pm Holiday Showdown 4:00pm Tenacious D: The Movie - ITV World Premiere Special 4:30pm Planet's Funniest Animals 4:50pm The New Adventures of Superman 5:50pm Xtra Factor: Xcess All Areas 6:50pm Nanny 911 7:50pm Movies Now 8:00pm Xtra Factor 8:50pm Casino Royale: Royal World Premiere ITV Special 9:25pm Xtra Factor: Results 10:10pm Movies Now 10:25pm I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11:25pm The X Factor 12:40am The X Factor - The Result 1:15am ITV Play: Playdate 3:35am Emmerdale Omnibus

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 8:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 9:00am The All Star Wake Up Call 10:00am The All Star Wake Up Call 11:00am The All Star Wake Up Call 12:05pm Gwen Stefani: Live in Concert 1:10pm Vodafone TBA: Pussycat Dolls 2:00pm The Album Chart Show 2:30pm Hollyoaks Omnibus 5:00pm Friends 5:35pm Friends 6:05pm Wife Swap 7:05pm Invasion 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm The 100 Greatest TV Moments from Hell 12:20am Porn: A Family Business 12:55am Porn: A Family Business 1:35am Bo in the USA 2:05am Wife Swap 3:05am Porn: A Family Business 3:35am Invasion 4:15am The Album Chart Show 4:40am Switched 5:05am Switched 5:25am Switched ... I am waiting - I snort and I stamp. I am waiting, you know that I am, calmly waiting to make you my lamb.”

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Honda Formula 4 Powerboats 2006 7:30am Adrenalin Rush 8:00am The Morning Line 8:55am Futurama 9:20am Friends 9:50am Friends 10:15am Charmed 11:05am Slave to Fashion 12:05pm Baby Boom 2:00pm Channel 4 Racing from Huntingdon and Lingfield Park 3:55pm Small Railway Journeys 4:10pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm Newyddion 5:10pm Y Clwb Rygbi 7:25pm Newyddion a Chwaraeon 7:45pm Y Clwb Rygbi Rhyngwladol 10:00pm Y Clwb PelDroed 10:35pm CNEX 10:50pm Volcano 12:40am Get Carter 2:25am Frailty 4:10am Gumball 3000 4:35am KOTV I’m quite impressed that I’ve managed to do 2 pages in just over an hour. Normally it seems to take aaaaaaaaaaaagggggeeeeeeeesssssss.

The lyrics you have been treated to are ‘So Come Back, I Am Waiting’ by Okkervil River. The lyrics on Tuesday are also Okkervil River-Black.

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SUNDAY

NOVEMBER.13.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

The Album Chart Show C4 2.40am

Sandy and Mr Flapper five 7.35am

Plant Earth

The Accidental Angler

Heartbeat

BBC1 9.00pm

BBC2 8.00pm

ITV1 8.00pm

6:00am Breakfast 7:35am Match of the Day 9:00am Sunday AM 10:00am Heaven and Earth with Gloria Hunniford 11:00am Countryfile 12:00pm As BBC1 12:35pm The Politics Show 1:05pm 'Allo 'Allo!

1:35pm Keeping Up Appearances 2:05pm Cash in the Attic 2:35pm Murder, She Wrote 3:20pm EastEnders 4:45pm As Time Goes By 5:15pm Last of the Summer Wine 5:45pm Points of View 6:00pm Lifeline 6:10pm Songs of Praise 6:45pm Antiques Roadshow 7:35pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 8:00pm The Great British Summer 9:00pm Planet Earth This strikes me as the kinda show which unites flatmates and family alike, gathering around the TV to watch snow bears fall over.

10:00pm BBC News; Weather It’s such a sunny day and I have accidently made the most depressing mix cd ever, all the suicidal classics from Bright Eyes, Jason Mraz and Rufus Wainwright. To commemorate this occasion i have put song lyrics from said CD all over the page 10:15pm Panorama 10:55pm The BBC One Sessions 11:45pm Memoirs of an Invisible Man Dear memoir, today I felt up someone on the bus and they had no idea.

1:25am Sign Zone:Holby City 2:25am Sign Zone:The Great British Summer 3:25am Sign Zone

6:00am CBeebies:Me Too! 6:20am Bob the Builder 6:30am Big Cook Little Cook 6:50am Bob's Mini Projects 7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:10am Legend of the Dragon 7:30am Smile 10:00am Something for the Weekend 11:30am Malcolm in the Middle 11:50am Malcolm in the Middle 12:15pm Animal Park 12:45pm Sunday Grandstand 12:50pm Rugby League Tri-Nations 1:25pm Racing from Aintree 2:50pm International Rugby Union 3:40pm International Rugby Union 6:20pm Scrum V “I died on the carpet, now that is a scene! Volleys of angels, i spread them with wings overtouched... love is a number one of the lies, one of the looks, one of the times...”

7:00pm Strictly Come Dancing 8:00pm The Accidental Angler What kind of knob accidently finds himself fishing, he must be under gun point, because it’s not something you should do voluntarily.

9:00pm The Catherine Tate Show 9:30pm Never Mind the Buzzcocks I havent watched this yet but I am reassured that Simon Amstell is doing a good job by TV Gareth.

10:00pm Match of the Day 2 10:50pm Intermission 12:30am American Dad 12:55am American Dad 1:15am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: WorkSkills for Business The Complete Guide 3:00am Building Bridges 4:00am Bionic Buildings

6:00am The Sunday Programme 7:25am Power Rangers SPD 7:55am Totally Spies! 8:30am Emperor's New School 9:05am SpongeBob SquarePants 9:25am CITV:Art Attack 9:50am CITV:Planet Sketch 10:00am The Championship 11:00am The Sunday Edition with Andrew Rawnsley and Andrea Catherwood 12:00pm ITV Wales News and Weather 12:05pm The Way We Worshipped Satanist worshippers like using women as alters.

Fact. 12:35pm Wales Soccer Sunday 1:05pm Planet's Funniest Animals 1:25pm The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 2:25pm The X Factor 3:35pm The X Factor - The Result 4:10pm World Rally Championship Highlights 5:10pm All Star Family Fortunes 6:00pm The Food Show 6:25pm ITV Wales News and Weather 6:40pm ITV News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Heartbeat 9:00pm I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!

10:00pm Dating the Enemy 10:30pm ITV News 10:45pm The South Bank Show 11:45pm UEFA Champions League Weekly 12:10am Faith and Music Underoath are a Christian metal band let’s see what they have to say on the matter “Hey unfaithful I will teach you To be stronger, Jesus I’m coming” Right. 1:05am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:05am The Jeremy Kyle Show 5:00am Morning News

6:00am The Cubeez 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Trans World Sport 7:55am World Cup Skiing 8:55am T4:Popworld 9:40am T4:Friends 10:10am T4:Hollyoaks Omnibus 12:40pm T4:Chancers 1:40pm T4:Unanimous 2:50pm T4:Smallville: Superman the Early Years 3:50pm T4:Charmed 4:50pm Wild Thing I Love You 5:50pm Deal or No Deal 6:35pm Codex 7:40pm Channel 4 News 8:00pm Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King “It’s just three films about walking” 11:50pm Oasis: Lord Don't Slow Me Down You’re not relevant anymore and I saw Liam on the cover of Hello or some Ok wearing a pink pin stripe suit.

Liam, take Nicole and move to a place (some sort of cesspit?) where you can no longer keep reforming your bands.

The new All Saints song is appalling.

1:10am Oasis: Live from Manchester 2:40am The Album Chart Show I’ll save you watching it 1. Girls Aloud 2. Robbie Williams 2. Amy Winewhore 4. Meatloaf 5. My Chemical Romance 6. Razorlight.

7. Who. 8. Justin Timberlake. 3:05am FIVB Beach Volleyball 4:00am KOTV 4:25am South American Championship Football 5:15am Countdown

I’m seeing Muse on Sunday, who wants to touch me? 6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:10am Rolie Polie Olie 6:35am Sailor Sid 6:40am MechaNick 6:55am Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 7:10am Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 7:25am Rupert Bear 7:35am Make Way for Noddy 7:55am Sandy and Mr Flapper What the hell is wrong with you people at Channel Five you sick sick bastards. 8:00am Franklin 8:30am Gerald McBoing Boing 9:00am Jane and the Dragon He ate her, she died, the end. 9:30am The Secret of Eel Island There are no Eels on it. The end. 9:45am Demolition Dad His overwhelming love of demolition caused him to steam roll an orphanage. The end. 10:00am Round the Twist 10:30am Over the Sea to School Slightly choppy waters today, one kid drowned. The end. 11:00am Snobs Went to private school like me, although I dont like to call them snobs, I call them the elite, i.e. better than you. The end. 11:35am Michaela's Wild Challenge 12:05pm A Different Life 12:35pm Revelations 1:05pm five news update 1:10pm Columbo: Fade in to Murder 2:45pm Hell Boats Tour hades for under a fiver! 4:35pm five news and sport 4:50pm A Bridge Too Far 8:00pm Victoria Cross Heroes 9:00pm Windtalkers 11:30pm World's Wildest Police Videos 12:30am Adventure Triathlon 1:00am NFL Live 4:40am Football Argentina

“All I ever learnt from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you.”

7:00pm Robin Hood Although rugby lads are clearly retards, it would be nice to go out with someone who was yonks bigger then you, all I ever meet are skinny indie boys. 7:45pm AI: Artificial Intelligence Dont watch it, its rubbish, makes no sense and also kinda weird how much you end up caring about the child robot. 10:00pm Torchwood I’ve been here for four and a half hours, TV Neil and Gareth have both gone, and I find my self staring into a Yazoo strawberry milkshake, which doesnt taste as exciting as it looks. 10:50pm Hard Rain 12:20am Torchwood 1:10am Torchwood: Declassified 1:20am The Real Hustle 1:50am The Real Hustle 2:20am The Indestructibles 2:50am The Indestructibles 3:20am Grime Scene Investigation The thing with something like speed dating is how would you know what to say to impress some

7:00pm Planet Earth 8:00pm Legends: Petula Clark - Blue Lady 9:00pm The Real Casino Royale 10:00pm Ian Fleming: Bondmaker 11:00pm Tracey Emin Talks to Kirsty Wark 11:30pm The Late Edition 12:00am Machine Men 1:00am The Real Casino Royale 2:00am Tracey Emin Talks to Kirsty Wark 2:30am Legends: Petula Clark - Blue Lady 3:30am The Late Edition one of the opposite sex if you only have three minutes to talk to them eh? If I ever went speed dating I would just scare them off within ten seconds, due to the immense pressure I would blurt out “I have hairy toes! There’s loads of dry skin on my feet too... I can’t cook either... I used to think Glasgow was in Wales and I wet myself in a ballet class when I was eight.”

Like that, but I thought I would share that with the five people who read this instead.

6:00am Ni Ni's Treehouse 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Engie Benjy 6:45am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Mickey Mouse Clubhouse 7:25am Power Rangers Space Patrol Delta 7:55am Totally Spies! 8:30am Emperor's New School 9:05am SpongeBob SquarePants 9:25am Movies Now 9:35am Tenacious D: The Movie - ITV World Premiere Special 10:05am The New Adventures of Superman 11:05am Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? 12:10pm All Star Family Fortunes 1:00pm Emmerdale Omnibus 3:45pm Coronation Street Omnibus 6:30pm Celebrity Debut 7:30pm The X Factor 8:40pm The X Factor - The Result 9:15pm Xtra Factor: Results 10:00pm Entourage 10:30pm I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11:30pm The Office: An American Workplace 12:00am Coronation Street

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:10am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 8:10am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 9:10am The All Star Wake Up Call 10:10am The All Star Wake Up Call 11:10am The All Star Wake Up Call 12:15pm Sugababes: A Night at the Dominion 1:00pm (Moto) Red Square Featuring Scissor Sisters 2:10pm Popworld 3:00pm Young, Sexy and...

Busted 4:00pm Reunion 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Scrubs 6:30pm The War at Home 7:00pm One Tree Hill 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Ghost Whisperer 10:00pm The Sopranos 11:15pm Hollyoaks: In the City 12:20am Scrubs 12:50am The War at Home 1:15am Ghost Whisperer 2:10am The Sopranos 3:05am Hollyoaks: In the City 4:05am Reunion 4:45am Switched 5:30am Switched “Stop breathing, breathing for me now, write it on a postcard, dad they broke me”

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Trans World Sport 7:55am T4 Special: Sugababes They need to call it a day now the ugly one has left.

8:25am Charmed 9:25am Hollyoaks Omnibus 12:00pm Maniffesto 12:30pm Yr Wythnos 1:00pm Rownd a Rownd 1:30pm Rownd a Rownd 2:00pm Y Clwb Pel-Droed 4:00pm Cwpwrdd Dillad 4:30pm 04 Wal 5:00pm Chez Dudley 6:00pm Newyddion 6:05pm Pobol y Cwm Omnibws 8:00pm Dechrau Canu Dechrau Canmol 8:30pm Y Werin Bobl 9:00pm Cowbois ac Injans 10:00pm Newyddion 10:15pm Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King 2:05am Dracula 4:00am World Cup Skiing 4:50am Unreported World Why am I playing around on face book whilst I have been here for so long? Why do I care that Bob Smith is bored or John Smith has put a new profile pic, or that Sam Tam has exploded due to too much gas!! Why? I DON’T KNOW.

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff, CF24 4NN

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gairrhydd

33

PROBLEM PAGE

NOVEMBER.13.2006 PROBLEMPAGE@gairrhydd.COM

The de Ville’s Advocate This week: All I need is the air that I breathe. And a bib.

How did you do?

Tot up your scores and find the secrets to your inner soul.

Yellow to make the boys bellow

Pink to make the boys wink

Puce to make the boys loose

Black to make the boys cack

Mostly ‘a’s: You’re socially inept but at least your heart is in the right place. I hope. Your lucky colour this season is YELLOW. It complements your pallor and looks great with Shaker-style kitchen units and terracotta tiling. You will be unlucky in love until the age of 49. I’d recommend getting a dog.

Mostly ‘b’s: I wish that there was some help out there for people like you. Filing your nails is not, I repeat NOT, a hobby. It’d be more enthralling to talk to a flip-flop while sober. Your karma colour is the most horrifically foul shade of PINK this side of Barbara Cartland’s armpit, and you deserve it. If it was up to me, pink would be outlawed, along with netball and Dick and Dom. Unfortunately, for reasons unbeknownst to the decent citizens of this Fair Isle, I do not have any bearing on the weighty law of the land and have to sit and languish in my own luminosity while some men with shoulder pads talk about boring things. Fuck politics.

Mostly ‘c’s: You should leave the country RIGHT NOW. This climate is doing nothing for your fertility or street cred.

I’d probably cross the street to avoid you. PUCE is the colour most akin to your pathetic ruddy cheeks as you warble alone to the strains of Fernando at the karaoke night in your local old-man pub. The lining of your soul is like the dirty dandruff-encrusted carpet in an old people’s home and you only eat tuna. I pity you.

Mostly ‘d’s: You are vibrant and full of life, therefore the colour most suited to your psyche is BLACK. You probably use hair gel and listen to rock anthems in your estate car. I envy you already. The fashionists are already hailing black as THE colour to be seen in this season, so you fit the fashion bill from the inside out. Lucky you. You like to relax by lighting scented candles and would benefit greatly from a trip to visit the Dalai Lama.

I hope you are enlightened by my quiz. Look out for more life-changing questions soon.

What’s your karma colour?

This is a question that I’m sure each and every one of you ponders on a regular basis. With my handy quiz, the answer is only a few steps away! Just follow the questions and consult the reference guide to your left. once you’ve finished. All that remains is to start buying your party frocks and wallpapering your shed in the colour that matches your soul...

1. Your ideal evening’s entertainment consists of: a- Drinking angostura bitters alone and imagining that your hand belongs to David Dimbleby. b- Lying in bed counting the stars with an infinite number of sheep while Donell Jones performs a rare acoustic version of “What’s Up”, as featured on the latest “Panpipe Moods” CD compilation. c- Planning your next Ann Summers party and poncing around in a pink negligee to the hits of Dirty Dancing while ‘the girls’ prance around in a chorus of hairbrush microphone-mimicry.

d- Pegs, rope and an orange.

2. You have a hot date at TGI Fridays arranged with the office turtledove but your best friend has a rare and painful strain of measles known as “Far Prickle Prickle”. Do you: a- Buy your chum some Germoline, a packet of cake mix and some Matey bubble bath and then spike their tea with psychotropic drugs and skip off into the sunset to visit your paramour? b- Rush over to your buddy’s aid armed with Take a Break, New Statesman, and Chat. Then spend so much time talking about boys and shopping that you forget you were supposed to fulfill a promise in the first place? c- Lock yourself in the garage and eat so many Eccles Cakes that you eventually have to be lifted out with a crane. d- Hire a make-up artist to mask your friend’s face sores and force him/her/it to accompany you to your date and pepper the conversa-

tion with witty anecdotes about the time you saved a puppy from drowning or won the Tour de France.

3. You would describe yourself as: a- Abrasive b- Persuasive c- Cursive d- A sieve

4. You are in line to get a promotion at work, but the boss tells you that you’re too thick to work in middle management.

Do you:

a- Crawl out from under his desk and walk out with your dignity still in tact. b- Roll around in feathers and tar and wail for a chance to prove your occupational prowess. c- Consider a career change - you hated basket weaving anyway. d- Cry

My leg hurts. Ouch.

Dear Grace, Last week I tripped over a loose paving slab on a busy Cathays street. Aside from the obvious embarrassment (I exposed my faff to several hunks), I suffered severe bruising and what I thought was a sprained ankle.

Now it turns out that I’ve gone and bloody broke my foot! I have to spend six weeks in plaster and was due to go skiing next week. Life is so unfair.

The only pleasures in my life at the moment are Malted Milk biscuits and sex with strangers. I’m thinking of suing the council’s ass, what do you think I should do? I’ve seen an advert which claims to help

people in my situation claim money on a “no win, no fee” basis. I can’t lose, can I? Abby Woodville Road Dear Abby, You seem to have me confused with that Alice Beer from Watchdog, or some other consumer and human rights crusader such as The Ferret.

I am in no way affiliated with any advisory council/organisation and cannot help you. The Accident Group might come and bash my knees in with a baseball bat if I say anything negative about their company. Just try it, you tuskmunchers! I’ll file a suit faster than

you can say “Ambulance” AND I’ll get 100% of the compensation.

Where was I? These people are evil, but the only person to blame for your fall from grace is your bad self. The roads around the student ghetto may be a little rustic but if you persist in wearing heels resembling stilts then you get what you deserve.

I prefer to wear a sturdy orthopedic shoe in the cold weather. You can’t be too careful. Why is it that dry autumn leaves are so wonderful but the minute it rains they become slimy piles of fear?

Stay safe, drive a car.

Gracexxx

Send in problems to the address at the top of the page and I might even come round and attend to you personally. Don’t flatter yourself into thinking that I actually care; I’m unemployed and haven’t got anything better to do. Sweet dreams, Grace xxxx

gairrhydd

FIVE MINUTE FUN

NOVEMBER.13.2006 FIVEMINUTEFUN@gairrhydd.COM

SUDOKU 6 9

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HOW TO PLAY SUDOKU: Fill in the grid using only the numbers 1 through to 9. All the vertical and horizontal rows should contain the numbers 1 to 9. All the smaller 3 by 3 squares should contain the numbers 1-9. No row or 3 by 3 square should have the same number twice.

CROSSWORD 1

2

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Most lipstick contains fish scales.

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England, but only in tropical fish stores.

Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. It is 10 times more effective than valium!

Sandwich Wars Please sir, may I have some more?

Last night I spent half an hour trying to complete an essay (pointless), one hour convincing my drunkard mates that I hadn’t just been sitting around eating cheese and biscuits and nearly three hours lying in bed contemplating whether it was worth a trip to the kitchen to steal my mates Brussels pate and make a sandwich. (I would have had to have stolen the bread for it aswell). UNLEASH THE HOUNDS! ROUND 1 - Match 1 Cheese and Pickle vs Egg Cress Egg cress wafts in with a nostril searing, eggy fart. C+P leans back in bullet time to avoid an early knock out and comes back with some some classic sized pickle chunks to the kidneys.

Ref stops play in the second round. Cheese and Pickle wins by knock out!

MATCH 2 BLT vs Smoked Salmon and Cream Cheese East Coast vs West Coast, England vs France, Bush vs Osma (+ evolution) you can see why their calling this the ‘Battle in the Bakery 2’.

SS+CC keeps it clean and is working the jab from outside but BLT is going to win this any way he can. OH! hes in with an eye gauge and is that a nipple cripple? surely the ref saw that?!

SS and Cream Cheese can hndle the pace and swims awy with its tail between its legs. Victory for BL-‘bruiser’-T ROUND 2 - THE FINAL Cheese and Pickle vs BLT With C+P experience up against the vigour of youth its too close to call as we step into the (bagel) ring. Hecklers distract C+P with calls of “who sliced that bread, ya mum? U mild cheese pussy!” BLT goes straight for the jugular.

Tuna in next week for the result.

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In Bahrain, a male gynecologist can only examine a woman's private parts through a mirror.

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In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the world's nuclear weapons combined.

Although these pictures may look suspect, we can guarantee they are all Cardiff students...Text yours to:

10 10

silly nuggets of wisdom

Armadillos are able to contract leprosy.

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Top 7 1/2

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

Learn this not your lecture notes. Just remember: your with stupid.

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ACROSS

1. Artful (4) 4. Accurate (5) 7. Yugoslavia’s currency unit (5) 8. Soft and creamy sweet (5) 10. Gather together (10) 14. Unusual (6) 16. Compartment in a refridgerator (6) 17. Canadian Province (4,6) 22. Asian Country (5) 23. Slither (of glass) (5) 25. Attend to (5) 26. Large bird (5) 27. Long running battle (4)

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DOWN

1. Beaten (8) 2. Trend (3) 3. Lump in a tree (5) 4. Inconsistent (7) 5. Partly open (4) 6. Haul (4) 7. Regard (4) 11. Congealed lump of blood (4) 12. Insight by encouragement (4) 13. Increase in size (8) 15. Seclude (7) 18. Ancient Mexican? (5) 19. Throw (4) 20. Musical instrument (4) 21. Prison in a Navy ship (4) 24. Become old (3)

Definia

tely a R isa love r

f on ur hoo o y t e G

Madon

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gairrhydd

37

GRAB!

NOVEMBER.13.2006 COMPETITIONS@gairrhydd.COM

! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN

Young, gifted and unsigned?

J

ACK DANIEL’S has announced a contest for up and coming music talent. The search is now underway to find the best unsigned rock bands in universities around the UK. Think you’ve got what it takes? If so then read on...

Now in its third year, The JD Set Unsigned gives university bands the chance to come to a secret location in London for a series of master classes with leading industry experts, dedicated intensive rehearsal time culminating in a private showcase gig for invited guests and press. Taking place over an action-packed fortnight in February 2007, six bands will be selected from universities across the country this autumn, including Cardiff University.

There is a University Brand Manager working for Jack Daniel’s who is scouting for fresh and exciting talent at Cardiff University. They will be attending gigs and collecting demos to help choose the best bands to take part. Look out for events at your university, including Jack Daniel’s Battle of the Bands at TigerTiger on Tuesday 21st November 2006 at 7.30pm where Jack Daniel’s will be scouting for the next big thing.

Lucky bands chosen to take part in the JD Set Unsigned will get to share insider knowledge and develop a range of skills with key people in the music business, including everyone from music lawyers to agents, sound engineers to A&Rs and musicians in a signed band. A professional music photographer will capture the JD Set Unsigned experience with portfolio shots for each band’s future use. At the end of the two week programme, the panel of experts will select one band to play support at a JD Set event – a totally oncein-a-lifetime opportunity. Previous bands that have played at The JD Set include, among others: Maximo Park, Editors, Jet, Elbow, Turin Breaks, and British Sea Power.

The AutoDisko who took in the JD Set Unsigned last year said: “The JD Set Unsigned is without doubt the best thing The AutoDisko has been involved in. The people we met were fantastically helpful and really enthusiastic about our band. It isn't easy being in an unsigned band trying to get signed, so the advice from people who are genuinely "in the know" was absolutely invaluable to us. The JD Set Unsigned has given The AutoDisko a new sense of enthusiasm and determina-

tion.”

As well as submitting demos to the University Brand Manager bands can also enter demos by calling 0800 694 4200.

For more information visit www.thejdset.co.uk. For all press enquiries and additional information please contact Kirstie Harding, Jack Daniels Student Brand Manager Kirstie_harding@hotmail.com In conjunction with this contest, Jack Daniel’s are giving you guys the chance to win some cool Jack Daniel’s goodies! We have t-shirts, key-rings, and mini hip flasks to give away. So what are you waiting for, just answer this easy peasy question to win: Where in the USA is Jack Daniels made? Think you know the answer?

E-mail us at competitions@gairrhydd.com and you could be a winner.

Know when to unplug. Please drink Jack Daniel’s responsibly. For more information about Jack Daniel's log on to, www.jackdaniels.co.uk.

Hi guys! It’s that time of year again, the winter weather is setting in and the coursework is piling up after all the fun and frolics of the beginning of term. But fear not, we at competitions are here to cheer you up bringing you some more excellent prizes to win! This week’s selection includes Jack Daniels goodies, tickets to the hilariously good Comedy Club and Saks salon vouchers to get you looking and feeling fabulous something for everyone! So come on, you have got a better chance of winning than you think and all it takes is a quick email, it couldn’t be easier. Good Luck!

Funky cuts

F

A barrel of laughs

I

f you have never been to the Comedy Club on a Tuesday night then you don’t know what you are missing! Some of the finest British comedic talent has graced CF10 raising the roof with laughter. And now’s your chance to go as Cardiff Union Ents are giving away two pairs of tickets for this week’s Comedy Club to see the Hilarious Steve Hall with support from Holly Walsh.

Steve Hall is one of Britain’s young talents and will have you laughing until you cry! The Stage say that: “Steve Hall is currently performing as part of sketch trio We are Klang, nominated for Best Sketch, Variety or Character Act at the 2006 Chortle Awards, as well as having been commissioned to write for E4/C4’s new series ‘Party Pieces’.

“Steve Hall's intelligent discursive routine had solid sprightly material.”

The support act, Holly Walsh, has also had great reviews with her oddball comedy. Chorlte-

The UK Comedy Guide have praised her talents: “Sloaney Holly Walsh paints herself as an oddball one-liner merchant, much in the line of Milton Jones, and even wears a whacky scarf and outdoor coat to underline the image. But that's misleading: she's warm and has an appealing style to her that's quirkily offbeat rather than outand-out loony.

“She's got some good gags, too: puns that are in turns clever and silly, sometimes both at once, and a routine about her manic depressive mum that's very good indeed.”

Don’t forget that The Comedy Club is on every Tuesday night in CF10 and showcases great new talent every single week. Tickets are a mere £4 and are available from the Box Office.

For your chance to win one of two pairs of tickets to see Steve Hall and Holly Walsh this Tuesday, just e-mail us your best joke!

EELING a bit drab on these drizzly winter days? Don’t fret, you can afford to spruce up in time for that Christmas party with our Saks hair and beauty giveaway!

Saks salons offer award-winning hair services that you would expect from the biggest and best hair and beauty group in the UK. Cut, Colour, Hair-Up, Weddings… whatever your need, Saks can deliver.

All Saks stylists are trained to the same standards of excellence in hairdressing and customer care. What’s different about Saks is the consultation process which they use to give you the right cut and colour for every individual. You’ll leave Saks with a bespoke style, that takes into account your faceshape, skin tone, personality and lifestyle, achieving an instant, manageable result for the season ahead.

For decades, Saks signature haircuts and colours have graced the heads of beautiful women and been published in magazines around the world.

Each year Saks launches pioneering signature collections to inspire clients and hairdressers alike, making Saks the UK’s leading hair and beauty group, as well as now introducing their own brand of styling tools, Saksessories, and these, plus gift vouchers, all of which are available in salons and from

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For your chance to be one of the beautiful people, just get an email to us quick-sharp and you can win one of three £10 vouchers that we have to give away.

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38 gairrhydd

LISTINGS

NOVEMBER.13.2006 LISTINGS@gairrhydd.COM

This week in listings: The Magic Numbers, Juliette and the Licks, the Union’s

The Histor y Boys @ New Theatre Tues Nov 14 7.30pm/ £5

Listings Editor Rosaria Sgueglia recommends

T

oday, the multi-award winning production of Alan Bennett’s play ‘The History Boys’ will be at the New Theatre. As usual, I found some good reasons to go and watch it, and here they are: My first motivation is the plot. It is about a group of boys who, like ordi-

nary guys, have to face everyday problems such as the anxiety of getting a place at university.

Set in 1980, the action takes place in a fictional school in the North of England, where a group of history pupils are studying for the Oxbridge entrance examinations . Guided by two different teachers with two different and often contrasting styles, the intrigue is about whether these funny sixth-form boys succeed in passing the examinations.

My second reason for recommending it is the range of different themes and original elements. The play provides elements of comedy, drama, teaching methods, the teenage world, homosexuality and the English education system.

The last reason? It concerns Alan Bennett’s fame, not only as a playwright but also as the star and coauthor of the satirical reviews Beyond The Fridge of On The Margin and Fortunes of War.

He wrote and starred in television specials such as ‘My Father Knew Lloyd George’, ‘A Day Out’, ‘A Little Outing’ and many others. A true artist with interests in radio, films, television, books and much more.

What could a true artist create? Of course he can produce an amazing masterpiece and ‘The History Boys’ is that masterpiece, so don’t miss it and if I arrive late, then please save me a chair.

Magic Numbers @ SU Thurs Nov 16 7pm/ £16 Gillian Roberts recommends

B

ang in the middle of their biggest UK tour to date, The Magic Numbers are playing in the Students’ Union this week.

If you are not sure who this magical foursome are, then you may remember them as being very hairy and all interrelated.

The group caught the nation’s attention with the extremely catchy tune Love Me Like You back in the summer of 2005, yet the slightly over-played summer tune is still as popular now as ever.

The brother and sister partnerships of Romeo (guitar, lead vocals) and Michele Stodart (bass, vocals), and Angela (percussion, melodica, vocals) and Sean Gannon (drums) have had nothing but success in the last few years with their self-titled debut album released last June.

It was vote the Nationwide Mercury Music Prize Album Of The Year and has now reached platinum status in the UK.

Comedy Club Juliette and the Licks @ SU Tues Nov 14 7.30pm/ £10 Listings Editor Jenna Harris recommends

N

atural Born Killers actress Juliette Lewis has leapt into the realm of indie-punk rock. Many actresses have long attempted to sing (flop Neighbours star Holly Valance immediately comes to mind) but none have ventured far from the safe, lip glossed pop sphere. Until now.

Lewis and her band Juilette and the

Coming Up

Licks are defiantly alternative: working their way up from supporting shows at the Barfly to headlining at the Students' Union, instead of just riding on her acting fame like so many have done before.

Formed in 2003, the band earned support slots with acts such as Social Distortion and Courtney Love and two years later released their EP Like a Bolt of Lighting, followed just a few months after by first album You're Speaking My Language. The resulting tour saw them perform to a total of 500,000 people in 20 countries.

Juiliette and the Licks are now back with their second album Four on the Floor, featuring rent-a-drummer Dave Grohl, who not only lent his sticks to the CD but his recording studio as well. Four on the Floor develops and extends the raw, punk energy of their earlier material, channelling it into more sophisticated work, whilst still retaining the primal swagger that sets them apart from other bands.

Lewis's voice is the centrepiece of the album - a strong, powerful instru-

ment that can effortlessly flit from song to spoken word convincingly, and does far better than those from the Aguliera school of constant one volume yodelling. The album's lead single Hot Kiss is a piece of garage rock perfection, complete with atmospheric guitars that frame Lewis' low, husky voice, while on Sticky Honey her voice is sweet and understated.

On I Never Got to Tell You it swings from deceptively simple guitar riffs and husky, emotional vocals to 60s beat group harmonies with ease.

She may be a successful Hollywood actress but Lewis has always admitted that there is more to her than films: “I’d been doing movies for 15 years... as I’d been getting older, the necessity to do music was just getting stronger....music's a visceral experience to me.”

Juliette Lewis and the Licks are a band that blow away all the clichés associated with actor-turned-singers or Heat magazine celebrity adulation.

Instead, they just offer some good old- fashioned rock ‘n’ roll.

@ CF10 Tues Nov 14 8pm/ £4 Jon-Paul Phillips and Adam Tudor recommend

T

he Comedy Club at CF10 is a good opportunity to catch the best up and coming comic talents in an intimate venue before they make it big.

This week’s main act Steve Hall has recently cemented a runners-up spot in the New Comedy Awards. Exbank worker Hall burst onto the comedy scene in fine style in 2003, rubbing shoulders with some illustrious former winners of the BBC prize, namely Rhona Cameron.

Hall’s trademark dry wit is the perfect platform for him to express his cynical observations, and no taboo is too taboo for him as he plunges into discussion on topics ranging from

All their hits will be played at the Union, including Forever Lost and Love’s A Game, as well as new tracks from their current album Those The Brokes, which was out on the November 6.

The 13 tracks, including songs like You Never Had It and Undecided are set to be as successful as the first album.

The BBC electric proms last month had the delight of having The Magic Numbers perform, where they were the first band to play in the refurbished Roundhouse.

Even though The Magic Numbers’ chill out, happy music is the type to listen to on a hot summer’s day while going for a stroll in the park, it would be wrong to miss out on the concert during this most wintery of seasons.

STDs to religion.

Such is Hall’s writing prowess that he was commissioned by the BBC to write and perform on their late night Radio 1 comedy show ‘The Milk Run’, and in 2004 he returned to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, starring in the very prestigious Comedy Zone Showcase.

Hall’s slick delivery and snappy one-liners have done enough to warrant this self-confessed ‘Catholic in a Jews body’ being labelled by many an esteemed critic as “One to watch for the future.”

Support this week comes in the form of another relative newcomer to the comedy scene. A finalist in this year’s ‘So You Think You’re Funny’ and ‘Funny Women’ competitions; Holly Walsh is certainly more than capable of writing a decent gag. She admits that she “Abandoned her social life” in February 2006 in favour of stand-up, and is now reaping the rewards after being invited to write for Jo Caulfield’s radio show and BBC hit ‘Deadringers.’

Walsh paints herself as somewhat of an oddball, with quirky one-liners and offbeat gags aplenty - and be sure to look out for the routine storytelling about her manic depressant mum! Holly is certainly worth her spot alongside the very able Mr Hall and an entertaining night lies ahead.

The Charlatans - 25 Nov @ SU... The Heights - 27 Nov @ Barfly... Brakes - 28 Nov @ The Point... The Datsuns - 3 Dec @ Barfly ... The Damned 12 Dec @ The Point...Ralfe Band (as seen on The Mighty Boosh) - 13 Dec @ Barfly...Men Women and Children / Kill The Arcade - 14 Dec @ Barfly... Ga Ga - 15 Dec @ The Point...Bogiez - 16 Dec @ The Point...Blackfly - 18 Dec @ Barfly...The Sex Pistols Experience - 20 Dec @ Barfly...

Said Mike /Cornerstone / SKWAD - 22 Dec @ Barfly...

gairrhydd

39

LISTINGS

NOVEMBER.13.2006 LISTINGS@gairrhydd.COM

own Comedy Club and The History Boys

Monday 13/11 Fun Factory @ Solus, SU Cardiff’s own alternative sweat fest. 10pm2am. £3.

X Factory @ The Taf The University’s student radio station shows off its best DJs. 9pm-1am. Free with NUS. I-Candy @ Tiger Tiger Wales’ latest superclub. £3/4 NUS. Movie Monday @ Molokos DJs, new music, live bands. 7pm. Free.

Switches/ Prinzhorn Dance School/Liddington @Barfly You may have caught these Brit-pop tykes earlier this year when they supported The Rifles! Well since then they've been fine tuning their Blur, Elastica, Bowie influenced sound and touring with the likes of The Automatic and Graham Coxon. Now they return to headline in their own right.

7.30pm. £6.

Pick Of The Day Elaine Paige@St David’sHall Elaine Paige, hailed as 'The First Lady of Musical Theatre', will be appearing with a concert orchestra singing songs from the Nation's favourite musicals, including her own smash hits. 7.30pm.

High Treason@ChapterArtsCentre Griffith plays a cowardly, neurotic delinquent, ‘black sheep’ son to a hero in a politically intriguing anti-communist sabotage thriller. 2.30pm. £4.60.

Doctor Who @Chapter Arts Centre Julie Gardner (Executive Producer) chats to Edward Thomas (Production Designer), Will Cohen (VFX Producer - The Mill) and Neill Gorton (Millennium FX) to discover how the weird and wonderful special effects are created for this award-winning BBC Wales series. 6pm. £5.60.

Friday 17/11

..

Access all Areas @ SU New Look Friday. Another Union event, another way to make people drunk. It should be a good night. 10pm-2am. £3.50/£3 adv.

The Dudes Abide @ Clwb Ifor Bach Music for those who love music. An indie and retro night that takes in the heady landscape created by the likes of Hendrix, the Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin and Dusty Springfield.

10.00pm – 2.30am. £3.50/ £4.

Mad4It! @ Barfly DJ Mike TV compares an indietastic night of alternative music, from the Strokes to the Smiths and everything in between. 10.30pm2am. £5.

Pick of the Day Four Day Hombre/The Minatures/The Long Weekend @ Barfly "Scorching and Beautiful in all the right places" - Jo Whiley; "Like Elbow on speed … a real knack for plugging into your emotional cortex and up-ending body and mind in a hurricane of noise."-X Ray. So should be worth a look. 7.30pm. £5.

Chaos @ Metros The hard rock night. £2.50 before 10pm.

Bogiez @The Point Fortnightly rock tastic night at The Point.

Rock, Metal and Alternative, with DJs playing your favourite tunes. 9pm.www.bogiez.com Full Fat @ Moloko Cheeky bootlegs, heavy funk, old skool classics and jumped-up party breaks. Free entry before 11pm.

Someone Else’s Happiness@Chapter Arts Centre When Christine discovers a child’s body her whole life changes. The child has been killed in a hit-and-run accident and has been left for dead. The death of the child becomes an occasion for settling old scores and seeking one's own happiness, But, in the end, no one is innocent. 8.30pm. 5.10.

Tuesday

14/11

Forecast @ Buffalo Bar Something of a night of hidden treasures: Presenting under-represented music. www.weareforecast.com. 8pm-3am. £6.

Planet Rock@Clwb Ifor Bac Revamped rock night that promises “familiar classics from the fields of metal, hard rock and goth”. Drinks promotions and you can email song requests. Alternatively, myspace at www.myspace.com/planet_rock_club9pm2pm. £3.

Decade @Barfly DECADE brings you the very best Pop, Cheese, and crossover tracks from the eighties and nineties. Remember the likes of Care-Bears, dancing flowers, Sonic the Hedgehog and Where’s Wally? Well, so does Decade. They’ve raided every back issue of Smash Hits, and dug out all the ancient NOW compilations- you know you loved them- so you can now expect to hear New Kids on The Block, Madonna, Take That, Britney, Human League, Zig and Zag, Sonia, Blur, East 17, Nirvana, INXS, Deee-lite, Vanilla Ice, MC Hammer, Oasis, Steps, Suede, 2Unlimited, Pulp, Europe and the mighty Hanson. Don’t miss it. 10.30pm. £3/2.

FUBAR/Corporate Days/Virgin Summer @ Barfly Mmm, rock on! 7.30pm. £3.50.

Laughing Matters - Political Comedy Night @St. David’s Hall Comedy with a political edge. 8pm. £7/9.

Pick Of The Day Superhuman & P-wana@The Point Two bands and one night. Showcase of urban and rock music - Superhuman and PWana in front of record execs.

8.30pm.More information on h t t p : / / w w w. my s p a c e . c o m / s u p e r h u man666

Saturday 18/11

Live Music society presents The Strand / Fake Bad News / Planetman @ Clwb Ifor Bach Live music: wooo. 8.00pm £5 /£6.

Come Play @ Solus, SU Party tunes in the main room. Traffic (DJ and clubbing society) playing house music in the other. 10pm. £3.50.

Blueprint @ Moloko Retro disco, future house, disco roots, drinks promos. Latin in the Express lounge. Free before 10pm, £3.50 after.

Fly Swatter @ Barfly Indie party fest that mixes up the best music with the even better. 10.30pm. £5 NUS. Steve Brookstein Plus Special Guest Eileen Hunter @ St. David’s Hall You gotta go for the ironic cheese factor.

Steve Brookstein is joined, it says: “Live on stage with his 8 piece band for the first time since winning The X Factor. Steve debuts his singles Fighting Butterflies and Then There Were None, taken from his forthcoming new album of original songs, plus outstanding renditions of many classics. A truly amazing evening for both soul and jazz lovers!”

7.30pm. £15.50/£17.50.

CalonGaeth (Small Country) @ Chapter Arts Centre Spring 1914 - Tom Evans invites best friend Edward Turncliffe to leave his fiancée behind in Oxford and visit his parents estate farm in Carmarthenshire. Little does he know that his father has left his mother for the local teacher, who is pregnant with his child.

12.30pm. £5.60.

Pick Of The Day AMOA+ SoundStorm@ Barfly AMOA, formally known as Jetlag are a four piece rock band. Their sound is said to be rock/reggae/funk, crossed over with Jack Johnson/Counting Crows and mixed in with a bit of Hootie and the Blowfish. 7.30pm. £5.

Wednesday 15/11

Thursday 16/11

Popscene @ Clwb Ifor Bach Three floors, three different clubs. On one, classic funk and motown, another indie classics and brand new music, and on the final floor, cheese. 9.30pm. £3.

Kerrang Radio Wales Presents Fightstar, Skindred, The Cooper Temple Clause, The Blackout, Kids In Glass Houses @ The Point Wales has a history of great rock bands. In recent years, acts like Lostprophets, Bullet For My Valentine and Funeral For A Friend have come bursting out of the valleys and onto the pages of Kerrang. Perhaps that’s why the sister radio station of the UK’s greatest rock magazine is now planning to set up home in Cardiff. So get going, you’ve got absolutely nothing to lose. 7.30pm. Contact http://www.kerrangradiowales.co.uk/ InMe / Save Ourselves / Death For A Day@Barfly It seems many moons ago now that INME burst onto the scene as three teenage southerners with their raw, post grunge infected debut ‘Overgrown Eden’. Now, with a change of bassist and the joys of puberty out of the way they’re set to release their third album.

7.30. £10.

John Mayall & The Bluesbreakers and Chicken Shack with Stan Webb @ St. David’s Hall Since forming the now legendary Bluesbreakers in 1963, John Mayall has been regarded as one of the most influential UK Blues men ever, and has been awarded the accolade of the Godfather of British blues. Stan Webb joins John in a musical bill that promises to be blues at its finest.

7.30pm. £contact venue.

Revenge!@ChapterArtsCentre Ken gave everyone around him an acting lesson in this British thriller where he plays a tramp accused of rape and murder. 2.30pm. £4.60.

Pick of the Day Oddsoc Ball @ Callaghans Five bands spread over several hours of music-induced merriment. Elliot Smithinfluenced Phillip Barebones will be doing his solo acoustic thing. Also on the bill are Showing off to Thieves, a four piece signed to indie label Glasstone and Lockjaw Records, who have been compared to Biffy Clyro.

Next, Cardiff band A Thousand Suns who write hard-rocking acoustic music accompanied by gravely-voiced singing.

Also playing are alternative/drum and bass group Mr Maggs, who have already supported Skindred, Roni Size and Goldie Lookin' Chain.

Finally, Kids in Glass Houses who write melodic rock complete with catchy choruses and are inspired by sunshine and barbeques, are what a summer day bottled would sound like. If you’re looking for a free way to see some great new bands then this could be it. 7.30pm. Free.

Sunday 19/11

Open Mike (Upstairs) @ Buffalo Bar An intimate and relaxed atmosphere, along with your chance to experience live acoustic acts, songwriters, bands and performers.

8pm-3am. £1.00 No Wax @ Moloko Bring your MP3s and you can be a DJ. 7pm2am. Free.

Haddonfields - E.P Launch / The Story so Far / Scott and Chris (Midasuno) /SKWAD@ Clwb Ifor Bach.

Sounds like fun. 7.30pm £5 Pick of the Day Allegro @ Chapter Arts Centre Fiction and reality fuse together to exhilarating effect in the second feature from the director of Reconstruction. After a long absence, a famous concert pianist returns to his native Copenhagen for a gala recital. A perfectionist by nature, he has lost his memory. When a messenger from a mysterious off-limits "zone" in the middle of the city contacts him, he is forced to try and reconnect with what made him run away, and his love for the captivating Andrea. He hopes for a second chance, but the "zone" does not sell dreams... 6.30pm. £5.10.

Music for Vampires - Battant, Look Look Dancing Boys@ Buffalo Bar Vamptastic fun. Contact venue for more information.

Children of Men @ChapterArtsCentre Adapted from P.D. James’ novel by the director of Y Tu Mamá También, this is a dystopic vision of the future set in London. Following an infertility defect in the Earth’s population, the world has fallen into anarchy and humankind is facing the likelihood of its own extinction. The story follows disillusioned bureaucrat Theo, who is forced to face his own demons and become an unlikely champion of Earth’s survival. 8pm. £5.10.

The Sensational Alex Harvey Band @ The Point One of Scotland's most influential rock bands are back. After the death of Alex Harvey in 1982, the band reformed in 2002 as a tribute to him. They enjoyed playing together so much they stayed together.

Don’t miss them. 7.30pm. £10.

Hollywoodland @ ChapterArtsCentre An exploration of fame and identity inspired by one of Hollywood’s most infamous reallife mysteries. A 50s private detective investigates the mysterious death of "Superman" star George Reeves. 6pm. £4.60.

VENUES Students’ Union, Park Place 02920 387421 www.cardiffstudents.com Med Club, Neuadd Meirionydd, Heath Park 02920 744948 Clwb Ifor Bach (The Welsh Club), 11 Womanby Street 02920 232199 www.clwb.net Barfly, Kingsway Tickets: 08709070999 www.barflyclub.com/cardiff Metros, Bakers Row 02920 399939 www.clubmetropolitan.com Dempseys, Castle Street 02920 252024 Moloko, 7 Mill Lane 02920 225592 Incognito, Park Place 02920 412190 Liquid, St. Mary Street 02920645464 The Philharmonic, 76-77 St. Mary Street 02920 230678 Café Jazz, 21 St. Mary Street 02920 387026 www.cafejazzcardiff.com The Riverbank Hotel, Despenser Street www.riverbankjazz.co.uk St. David’s Hall, The Hayes 02920 878444 www.stdavidshallcardiff.co.uk Chapter Arts Centre, Market Road, Canton 02920 304400 www.chapter.org Wales Millennium Centre, Cardiff Bay 0870 0402000 www.wmc.org.uk The New Theatre, Park Place 02920 878889 www.newtheatrecardiff.co.uk The Sherman Theatre, Senghennydd Road 02920 646900 www.shermantheatre.co.uk The Glee Club, Mermaid Quay 0870 2415093 www.glee.co.uk Cardiff International Arena, Mary Ann Street 02920 224488 The Millennium Stadium Can’t miss it. www.millenniumstadium.com The Point, Cardiff Bay 029 2046 0873. www.thepointcardiffbay.com

40 gairrhydd

SPORT

NOVEMBER.13.2006 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

The Deloitte IMG Breakfast

Gym Gym cash in against Economics Economics 2 - 4 Gym Gym GYM GYM maintained their unbeaten record as two goals in each half helped them to a convincing win over rivals Economics.

Both sides initially struggled to find their rhythm but slowly Gym Gym began to dominate. They repeatedly utilised their pace up front to get in behind the Economics defence.

In the early stages, Gym Gym striker Alun Williams was given the chance to break the deadlock but he fired over with only the keeper to beat.

But shortly afterwards, Gym Gym took the lead when winger Matthew Phillips shot into an unguarded net after the ball broke loose in the box.

However, Economics were immediately gifted the chance to level the game when they were awarded a penalty - but their hopes were dashed when the spot-kick was scuffed wide.

Economics eventually equalised against the run of play when a fine cross from the right was volleyed

home by Jon Szehofner.

Buoyed by renewed confidence, Economics enjoyed their best spell of the half, but still found themselves 2-1 behind at half-time when Tomas Pritchards side footed home Gym Gym’s second.

After the interval both sides adopted direct tactics but Gym Gym were rarely threatened as their commanding centre back Healy led the line expertly.

Meanwhile their impressive strike partnership continued to look dangerous. The Economics keeper twice denied Williams but he eventually made it 3-1 when he skipped past a defender, before drilling home from a tight angle.

Economics began to move the ball well as they searched for a way back into the game but they committed to many men forward, and were punished when substitute Owen scored a fourth for Gym Gym on the counter-attack.

A late consolation goal was provided by Micheal Roots’ far-post header, but in truth the result was never in doubt. Following this impressive win, Gym Gym currently lie in second place of Group B on goal difference.

Bitter defeat for Real Ale Matt Chamberlain IMG Reporter

Pharm AC 8 - 1 Real Ale

RAMPANT PHARM AC raced away to a comprehensive victory against strugglers Real Ale Madrid in Group A. The game started slowly with both teams trying to find their feet. It took until the 15th minute for the first goal to be scored by Pharm AC’s Dave Muir.

Shortly afterwards, Pharm AC piled on the presure and kept the Real Ale goalkeper busy. But they finally grabbed a second in the 35th minute thanks to an Emyr Jones strike. Jones struck the ball sweetly from outside the box.

Pharm AC made a few changes at half-time and soon scored a third, thanks to a header from Greg Westley.

The Real Ale keeper once again kept his side in the game with some good saves throughout the second half.

However, Gelleh Askar soon increased Pharm AC’s lead to 4-0, shortly before Fran Johnson added a fifth.

IMG Football Results Wed 8 Nov

Japsoc MOMED Pharm AC TWNN

3 4 8 1

-

4 0 1 9

Law B Socsi Real Ale Zoology

And the prolific Askar took his goal tally for the year up to seven in three games,with a well taken sixth goal.

Real Ale almost lifted some of the gloom when they managed to win a penalty after some scrappy defending

by Pharm A.C. But Pharm AC goalkeeper Adam Marks saved the spot-kick by diving to his left, before the ball ws eventually cleared.

And things soon turned from bad to worse for Real Ale, when Jim Hall scored a seventh in what was proving to be a one-sided encounter.

But a spirited Real Ale refused to give up and they were soon rewarded with a consolation goal, scored by Chris Hough.

However, their joy was short-lived as Pharm AC subsequently completed the scoring. A scuffed shot from Pharm AC skipper Matt Chamberlain sneaked into the corner.

Bottom-of-the-table Real Ale Madrid have now conceded 32 goals in three games. Meanwhile, Pharm AC have now won two out of three games, and will be looking to continue their good form with a win against TWNN this week.

IMG Football Fixtures Wed 15 Nov

MOMED Pharm AC Zoology Japsoc

v v v v

Real Ale TWNN Law B Socsi

v v v v

Esplanyol Gym Gym Boca Seniors Tank Engin

Arse’Alona Economics Esplanyol Myg Myg

5 2 2 0

-

0 4 6 5

Boca Seniors Gym Gym JOMEC Tank Engin

Myg Myg JOMEC Economics Arse’Alona

AFC History CARBS English Soc Psycho Ath.

4 2 3 3

-

2 0 6 4

Butthead FC Law A J-Unit Uni Hallstars

AFC History Uni Hallstars English Soc Law A

v v v v

Psycho Ath. J-Unit CARBS Butthead FC

AFC Cathays Crusaders Chem Soc Havana Drag.

1 1 7 1

-

1 3 2 0

Thunderkatz Euros Park Rangers Inter Me-nan

Inter Me-nan Thunderkatz Crusaders Chemsoc

v v v v

AFC Cathays Euros Park Rangers Hav. Dragons

IMG Football

Group A P

W

D

L

Diff

1

Law B

3

3

0

0

10

9

2

Zoology*

3

3

0

0

18

8

3

Pharm AC

3

2

0

1

8

6

4

MOMED

3

2

0

1

5

6

5

Socsi

3

1

0

2

8

3

6

JapSoc

3

1

0

2

0

3

7

TWNN

3

0

0

3

-18

0

8

Real Ale Madrid

3

0

0

3

-31

0

P

W

IMG Football

PHOTO: ED SALTER

Ed Pitchforth Football Reporter

Football Tables

ACROBAT: IMG is bootiful

Both Cats share the spoils Alex Marflow IMG Reporter

Cathays 1 - 1 Thunderkatz SPARKS FLEW in a closely contested battle, as both sides grabbed a hard-fought point.

The teams started brightly with chances being created at both ends.

However, both defences stood steadfast - none more so than Tony Layden who played at the nucleus of the Cathays back four.

As the half progressed, AFC Cathays increased the pressure and inevitably took the lead.

Goalkeeping nightmares allowed a Ben Jones corner to fall onto the head of Dave Webb who finished with aplomb.

But a reslient Thunderkatz needed no encouragement - they imme-

diately elevated the tempo and manufactured a defensive error.

Chris Gale did not waver in his undying love for the beautiful game - lobbing the helpless Heggie to level the match within a minute.

The second half started slowly with Thunderkatz displaying an aggressive array of tackles. Max Wilkinson, the Cathays captain, fell victim to a wild tackle resulting in an immediate substitution.

With their role-model sidelined Cathays began to struggle.

Thunderkatz saw two penalty appeals denied by the referee and failed to capitalise on several hopeful efforts.

As the aggresion heightened, tempers frayed and the game hit a stalemate. As a result, both sides lie in mid-table. Cathays have now drawn three consecutive matches.

menon on the match

Pts

Group B D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Tank Engin

3

2

1

0

8

7

2

Gym Gym

3

2

1

0

5

7

3

JOMEC*

3

2

1

0

6

6

4

Economics

3

2

0

1

3

6

5

Arse’Alona*

3

1

1

1

2

3

6

Boca Seniors

3

0

2

1

-5

2

7

Myg Myg

3

0

0

3

-9

0

8

Esplanyol

3

0

0

3

-10

0

P

W

IMG Football

Group C D

L

Diff

Pts

1

AFC History

3

3

0

0

21

9

2

CARBS

3

2

0

1

4

6

3

Law A

3

1

1

1

16

4

4

J-Unit

3

1

1

1

-1

4

5

Psycho Ath.

3

1

0

2

-1

3

6

Butthead FC

3

1

0

2

-1

3

7

English

3

1

0

2

-9

3

8

Uni Hallstars

3

1

0

2

-29

3

P

W

IMG Football

Group D D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Chemsoc

3

2

1

0

6

7

2

H. Dragons

3

2

1

0

4

7

3

EUROS

3

1

2

0

2

5

4

C. Crusaders

3

1

1

1

1

4

5

Thunderkatz*

3

1

1

1

4

3

6

AFC Cathays

3

0

3

0

0

3

7

Park Rangers

3

0

1

2

-8

1

8

Inter Me-Nan

3

0

0

3

-9

0

* Team has been deducted 1 point

Netball Tables IMG Netball

Group A P

W

D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Socsi A

4

3

0

1

38

9

2

Cardiff A

4

3

0

1

37

9

3

CARBS B

3

3

0

0

12

9

0

2

-4

3

FOOTBALL

NETBALL

4

Dynamo Tigers

3

1

NUMBER OF GOALS: 94 goals, 5.875 goals per game WHIPPING BOYS: TWNN conceded 9 against Zoology SURPRISE PACKAGE: Uni Hallstars for an impressive victory over Psycho. Much better lads!

EPIC GAMES: Law B v Japsoc and Psycho v Uni Hallstars were close, 7-goal thrillers.

CONSISTENT PERFORMERS: Law B, History and Zoology have won all their matches so far. Good stuff.

TEAM OF THE WEEK: There’s only one winner this week. Uni Hallstars deserve the award for a much improved display. Well done.

NUMBER OF GOALS: 172 goals, 19.1 goals per game GOLDEN GIRLS: Cardiff A, for scoring 29 in two games SURPRISE PACKAGE: Christian Union won again and have improved considerably this year.

EPIC GAME: Cardiff A v Socsi A, a 19-goal thriller which could have gone either way.

CONSISTENT PERFORMERS: Economics A, CARBS A, CARBS B and Christian Union haven’t dropped points TEAM OF THE WEEK: Cardiff A get the gong this week for making up ground on rivals Socsi A, in what appears to be a tight Group A.

5

IWC A

3

0

0

3

-40

0

6

IWC B

3

0

0

3

-43

0

P

W

IMG Netball

Group B D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Christ. Union

4

4

0

0

40

12

2

Cardiff B

4

3

0

1

25

9

3

Economics B

4

3

0

1

18

9

4

Socsi B

4

1

0

3

-18

3

5

Optometry

4

1

0

3

-21

3

6

Automotive

4

0

0

4

-44

0

P

W

IMG Netball

IMG Netball Fixtures Sat 11 Nov

Gym Gym v

Medics

(10.00)

Pharmacy B v English A (10.40) IWC A v D. Tiger (11.20) Carbs B v IWC B (12.10) Wed 15 Nov Dynamo Tigers v Cardiff A (1.30) Socsi A v Carbs B (2.10) IWC B v IWC A (2.50) Econ B v Cardiff B (3.30) Engin Auto v C. Union (4.10) English B v Pharm A (5.30) Gym Gym v Loco (6.10) Eco A v Medics (2.50)

IMG Netball Results Sat 4 Nov

Pharmacy A P - P Medics Cardiff A 19 - 1 IWC A English B P - P Gym Gym Wed 8 Nov Cardiff A 10 - 9 Socsi A

Group C D

L

Diff

Pts

1

CARBS A

4

4

0

0

13

12

2

Law A

4

3

0

1

30

9

3

Law B

4

2

0

2

13

6

4

SAWSA

4

2

0

2

-5

6

5

Pharmacy B

3

0

0

3

-25

0

6

English A

3

0

0

3

-26

0

P

W

IMG Netball

Group D D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Economics A

4

4

0

0

49

12

2

Pharmacy A

2

1

0

1

0

6

CARBS A 10 - 7 Law A Law B 4 - 13 SAWSA

3

Locomotive

4

2

0

2

-2

6

4

Medics

2

1

0

1

-5

3

English B 8 - 14 Engin Loco Economics A 17 - 9 Pharmacy A

5

English B

3

0

0

3

-23

0

6

Gym Gym

2

0

0

2

-19

-3

Christ. Union 12 - 3 Optometry Cardiff B 18 - 2 Engin Auto Socsi B 3 - 13 Econ B

gairrhydd

41

SPORT

NOVEMBER.16.2006 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

The Deloitte IMG Breakfast

IMG shows racism the red card

JOMEC hit Esplanyol for six Esplanyol 2 - 6 JOMEC

IMG SPORT pledged its support for an anti-racism campaign at Pontcanna last Wednesday before matches began.

Representatives from Show Racism the Red Card gave out around 40 giant red cards, which players from two IMG football squads held aloft.

Moreover, all players from both teams wore t-shirts which displayed the words - “One Game For All, Without Racism.” Euros and MOMED took part in the campaign, which aims to eliminate all types of racism within football and society in general.

Dan Tennant-Ralphs, captain of Euros, organised the event and spoke highly of the cause.

He said: “IMG Sport is a big part of this university and I am glad it is standing up against racism.

“Racism is currently a big problem in football, particularly in Eastern Europe. I think it is imperative that IMG football is seen to send out this message.”

Tennant-Ralphs was keen to organise the event, as the Euros squad includes players from at least eight different countries.

The Euros skipper added: “The effort our lads put in was a great show of solidarity.

“It’s a shame only two teams took part, but we were a bit short on time.

But I am pleased MOMED offered to join us.

“There is still a lot of work to be done, and events like this will certainly enable people to be more aware of racism in the world.”

If you are interested in contributing to the cause, t-shirts can be seen and bought on http://geocities.com/tennantralphs/. Strictly Come Dancing

star, Roy Fearon, can be seen on the site modelling a t-shirt.

Show Racism the Red Card is a large organisation, which operates on a national level. The registered charity was established in January 1996 and is part of the FARE (For Anti-Racism in Europe) network.

An array of professional footballers, including Ryan Giggs and Thierry Henry, have issued their support for the charity.

The organisation also produces a large number of educational resources for children in schools.

JOMEC eventually cruised to victory after a shaky start in this fiery IMG encounter.

With JOMEC unbeaten and Esplanyol without a point prior to the match, it came as a surprise when the underdogs capitalised on a JOMEC defensive mix-up early in the game to make it 1-0.

Going behind seemed to spark JOMEC into life and they began to exert great pressure on what proved to be a resilient Esplanyol defence. The equaliser, when it came, was a scrappy goal with Stuart Swan getting the final touch after a goal-mouth scramble.

But there was nothing scrappy about JOMEC and Swan’s second goal however. After beating two men, the striker placed a lofted shot into the roof of the net from twenty-five yards out.

The goal was Swan’s sixth goal in just three games.

JOMEC picked up where they had left off after the half time break with midfielder Chris Singleton scoring two goals in quick succession, giving the favourites a commanding 4-1 lead.

However Esplanyol forced their way back into the match when a good delivery from a corner was neatly met by a right-footed volley which took a deflection on its way into the net.

Moments later, Esplanyol were incensed when what would have been their third goal was ruled out for offside by a late linesman call. This misery was compounded soon afterwards when a clever Jomec short corner routine resulted in an Esplanyol defender putting the ball into his own net.

In the closing stages, Chris Williams netted a sixth to seal victory.

IMG rugby corner Menon on the Match Title Contenders?

Dave Menon delivers his verdict on the fate of all 10 IMG Rugby teams

Two IMG Rugby teams rate their chances of success this season IMG Rugby Fixtures

TEAM CARBS A Engin Stoma Masts CARBS B Medics Pharmacy Law SAWSA Planning

ODDS 5-1 10-1 20-1 25-1 25-1 33-1 33-1 66-1 66-1 80-1

Wed 15 Nov or Sun 19 Nov CARBS A CARBS B Engin Planning Law

v v v v v

MASTS Medics Pharmacy SAWSA Stoma

To all rugby captains: THE LOCATION, TIME AND DATE OF THIS WEEK’S FIXTURES HAVE NOT BEEN ARRANGED YET. PLEASE SEE MARTYN FOWLER FOR CONFIRMATION OF THESE DETAILS. ALSO, CAN ALL CAPTAINS PLEASE EMAIL THEIR CONTACT PHONE NUMBERS TO: sport@gairrhydd.com FINALLY, FEEL FREE TO EMAIL IN MATCH REPORTS TO THE SAME ADDRESS. THANK YOU.

SAWSA We've got high hopes for this season.

The squad is twice the size it was last year and a lot of the new boys, such as Minge and JT, are showing quality in training and friendlies. We've got a strong pack and the backs are showing

MASTS After having finished in our best position last year for a fair few years, MASTS are looking to build on this in the forthcoming season. Many familiar faces are still present this year with the addition of some strong freshers

real promise with competition for every position. As usual we expect to have the best socials week in, week out and we fully expect to be challenging for the trophy come April. If wing Sam Miguel can score his first try in four years and we win a boat race, it could be a perfect season! Hopefully we will kick off with a win. throughout the team. Some people are stepping into new positions this year with ‘Jonny Wilkinson style’ Cagna at fly half. The aspiring Richardson could also prosper this season as hooker. And good looks in the back line are certainly not scarce. But the entire team is sure of one thing, see you in the finals!

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SPORT

NOVEMBER.13.2006

PHOTO: Tom Williams

SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

PRO POWER: Laying the Smacketh Down

It’ll be all fight on the night Tom Williams revisits his childhood as he watches Pro Power wrestling in Cathays

ARMED ONLY with the smattering of wrestling knowledge assembled during my 1991-1993 stint as a WWE fanatic, I arrived at Cathays Community Centre for the latest instalment of Pro Power Wrestling not entirely sure what to expect.

It was quickly apparent that most of the crowd – composed largely of alternatively styled teenagers, small children and commendably enthusiastic parents – were Pro Power Wrestling regulars.

No sooner had a wrestler stuck his head out of the dressing room door than the chorus of either boos or cheers that followed immediately established whether he was a goodie or a baddie.

The fights themselves followed a rather formulaic pattern that was repeated in only a cosmetically-altered form over the course of the evening: goodies start well, baddies gain the upper hand, goodies either come back into it and claim victory, or fall valiantly and/or unfairly at the last.

Having said that, in spite of the choreography, all of the wrestlers competing displayed tremendous levels of agility and athleticism, and bloodied noses and gashed torsos bore testament to the punishment their bodies were subjected to throughout.

The first fight, a tag-team match, ended in a well-received victory for

goodies Matt Vaughn and ‘Flying’ Mike Bird.

Bout two saw lean, lithe local favourite Tyler Brown triumph over the enormous, baby oil-slathered NK Knight. There followed an uncomfortably contrived monologue from Knight, who grabbed the microphone from the MC and launched into a humourless diatribe about how his opponent was merely a “puppet” being manipulated by the management for their own financial gain.

Those who complain about the lack of respect shown towards referees in football should take note Realising that the crowd was not remotely interested in his opinions, he raised the stakes by branding the venue a “craphole” and asserting that wrestlers receive better treatment when they’re in England because “the people there don’t stink”.

Whether or not Knight was truly off-message was difficult to tell, but his wilful disregard for the patience of

the audience gave the merest hint of a genuine underlying bitterness at the overblown pointlessness of it all.

An unpopular defeat for the enigmatic ‘Playboy’ Phil Bedwell at the hands of burly Wayne Rooney-alike Martin Stone brought us to the interval, which was followed by a puzzlingly mild-mannered contest between goatee-sporting Kade Carlos and athletic Cardiff man Nick Berretta.

A controversial refereeing decision gave Berretta the win, and Carlos responded by picking up the official and slamming him to the canvas.

Those who complain about the lack of respect shown towards referees in football should take note.

The penultimate fight was a raucous ‘grudge match’ between East London bad boys The Kartel and Barry Island good guys The Heatseekers.

The Kartel demonstrated just what rotters they were by pinching people’s chips and swigging their beer as they entered the ring.

The Heatseekers – two jean-clad pretty boys with immaculately sculpted hairstyles and suspiciously bright tans suggestive of time spent on an island somewhat more exotic than Barry – demonstrated their skill with some sleek early combination manoeuvres, and the crowd were captivated.

A frenetic finale culminated in vic-

tory for The Kartel, and as they milked the applause attention turned to The Heatseekers, who – lying side-by-side in the centre of the ring – consoled each other with a homoerotic tenderness that wouldn’t have been out of place in Brokeback Mountain.

And so to the finale: a no-holdsbarred ‘unification fight’ between Bristolian goodie-goodie Matt Damien and the genuinely quite unsettling Mad Dog Maxx.

With a homoerotic tenderness that wouldn’t have been out of place in Brokeback Mountain Maxx entered the ring to the sound of clanking chains and brandishing a bamboo stick, and I feared for the well-being of Damien, who stood uncomfortably in his corner, moving his baseball bat from hand to hand and probably trying not to think about the fact he was wearing a pair of unforgivingly tight red Y-fronts.

The bout was frantic and brutal, with both fighters making liberal use

of the discarded weapons handily cluttering the environs of the ring. The noholds-barred element did, however, introduce a slight element of farce to proceedings, and it was hard not to think of the Soccer AM wrestling spoof when Maxx knocked out the referee and then used his belt to whip Damien, who got his own back minutes later by whacking his opponent in the unmentionables with a snooker cue.

The MC had announced before the fight that falls would be accepted “anywhere in Cardiff”, but conveniently enough the pin took place in the ring, and it was Damien who finished on top. All in all it was an entertaining, unashamedly ridiculous evening of pomp and bombast, posturing and posing.

Event organiser Alan Ravenhill said he was very pleased by the turn-out, and promised “top action” from the next Pro Power event, which is scheduled to take place on December 9, and which will feature a juicy championship clash between new champion Matt Damien and Cardiff University bio-sciences student Ricky Hype.

Hype is apparently bitter at having been stripped of his Welsh title and claims that it still belongs to him, but I’m not entirely sure I should believe him.

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NOVEMBER.13.2006 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

Excellent Ladies beat Exeter Alex Joannides Football Reporter CARDIFF Ladies 1sts................4 EXETER Ladies.........................2 AFTER THEIR demoralising defeat last week against St Mark and St Johns, Cardiff bouced back with a much-needed victory over Exeter.

After a promising start, Jen Fildes opened the scoring for Cardiff with a wonderful shot into the top left hand corner of the goal, leaving the keeper stranded.

The second goal came from Fildes again, which was helped along by good work from midfielder Emma Jones.

In the second half, Cardiff started in a similar vein to the first half. More goals followed with a superb free-kick

from the impressive Jones.

Despite losing 3-0, Exeter did not make it easy for Cardiff. The visitors managed to salvage two goals, but Cardiff goalkeeper Ruth Smith was alert throughout.

And the best efforts of defender Harriet Sharp also made it difficult for Exeter to break the Cardiff defence, while Miki Burdusmade made a crucial clearance off the goal-line.

But the Cardiff fears were allayed when they grabbed a fourth. Sakura Fachiri completed the scoring and sealed the points for the hosts after finding the net in the penalty area.

There was some excellent passing and movement from both sets of players in what proved to be a tense encounter.

Promisingly, however, the Cardiff team began to gell together well, despite the inclusion of several new faces.

BANG: Have some of that

Men’s Hockey lose again Scott D’Arcy Sports Reporter

CARDIFF Mens 1sts.................0 EXETER Mens 1sts...................5 THE MEN’S Hockey Firsts lost their fourth consecutive game at home to Exeter, as the team’s struggle to settle into the BUSA Premier League continued.

Following three defeats in a row, Cardiff would have been hoping to take something from this game against last years’ champions.

However, their opponents started strongly and set a high tempo early on.

Cardiff seemed to be chasing the game from the outset as Exeter worked hard and bombarded the midfield, forcing Cardiff into their own half for much of the first ten minutes.

This sustained pressure led to a goal as the ball was lashed towards goal and

deflected accurately into the bottom right corner.

It was a clear signal of intent by the away team, whose strategy of not giving Cardiff time on the ball led to forced errors and dominance in terms of possession.

However, Cardiff’s efforts were not justly rewarded, as they fought valiantly even in the wind and rain. They started to spread the play and briefly looked like they could try and draw level. A series of penalty corners resulted in shots being fired wide.

And a vital intervention from Cardiff goalkeeper, Ian Ferguson, prevented the visitors getting a second just before half time.

In the second half Exeter came out with renewed intensity as they clearly felt frustrated at not being able to break Cardiff down, whose central defenders, Dai McGahan and Gareth Owen, did well on several occasions to prevent a clear sight of goal.

However, after several penalty corners, Exeter finally made the break-

through, with a shot rifled into the roof of the net from close range, and from there Cardiff heads dropped.

A free hit just outside the Cardiff area resulted in a deflected goal, as the ball was fired in at such a pace that the striker did well to get anything on it.

At 3-0, the score line was perhaps harsh on Cardiff, and when the fourth was sent crashing home it was a harsh reflection of their endeavour.

There was drama late on in the second half as three players collided in the Cardiff area resulting in a penalty flick for the visitors. It looked as if Cardiff were going to be further punished but after an incredible save by an outstretched Ferguson, heads lifted and they went at their opponents with nothing to lose.

This failed to produce a consolation goal, however, and Exeter scored again at the death after a nice one-two.

But despite the defeat, Alex Jones said afterwards: “We are still adapting to the new playing environment and the wins will come”.

SPACE: There’s not much of it

Football prove a point James Clifford Football Reporter

CARDIFF Mens 1sts.................0 UWIC Mens 1sts......................0 CARDIFF MEN’S Football Firsts grabbed their first point of the season and were unlucky not to take all three from a game which they heavily dominated.

Going into the game on the back of three straight defeats, Cardiff showed they can compete with the top teams in the league with a performance which had grit, determination and desire.

Cardiff started the brighter of the two teams with crisp passing through the midfield, leaving UWIC often chasing shadows. However, Cardiff were unable to turn the possession into any clear cut chances.

After some good work by Matt Jones in midfield, Eifion Roberts was presented with a chance in front of goal but the goalkeeper denied him a shooting opportunity.

In response, UWIC went close from a corner, where they almost scored with a header.

On 32 minutes, Cardiff were unlucky not to go one up, with Jack Jarvis seizing on a misplaced header from the UWIC defence. His 25-yard half volley clipped the woodwork with the goalkeeper reduced to being a mere spectator.

Cardiff continued to press with Tom Poole linking well with Andre Stairmand down the right, leaving the UWIC defence unable to cope.

After a cynical foul on Stairmand for which the defender was cautioned, Cardiff went close from the resulting free kick. Andy Wylde rose above the static defence but was unable to get enough power on the header and couldn’t direct the ball past the well placed goalkeeper.

The second half started in much the

same vein, as Cardiff played the game at their trademark high tempo. On 55 minutes, Jones seized on some indecision among the UWIC defenders and saw his shot from 15 yards go narrowly wide.

This seemed to wake UWIC up who appeared to be resting on their reputation far too much. They created two opportunities after some good wing play.

Their centre midfielder volleyed inches over from 6 yards and striker Chris Luke was disallowed a goal after a dubious offside decision.

Cardiff responded well with impressive playmaker Kwame Asare heading wide after good work by Roberts down the left. Shortly afterwards, Stairmand tested the goalkeeper with a 20-yard piledriver.

However, after a frantic last few minutes, the game ended with no goals despite the fact that both teams missed chances.

After the game, captain Andy Wylde commented: “The team showed superb strength today. After coming as underdogs we were unlucky not to go home with three points.”

Individually there were some superb performances. Centre backs Nick Bowker and Andy Wylde both excelled and helped the side to keep their first clean sheet of the season.

However the man-of-the-match award went to Kwame Asare, who caused the defence numerous problems and was inches away from capping his great performance with a goal late on.

The result leaves Cardiff at the foot of the table, but this good display will have given the team a much-needed confidence boost following recent defeats.

The side travel to Plymouth next week in urgent need of that elusive first win.

Meanwhile, the seconds beat Glamorgan 2-1, while the third and fourth teams both drew 1-1 against opposition from Swansea.

g a i rr h y d d

Sport

Double page IMG Breakfast special

PLUS: It’ll be all fight on the night

Seventh heaven Lizzie Hawes Hockey Reporter UWE Ladies 1sts........................3 CARDIFF Ladies 2nds.................7

RUGBY RELIEF Jon Berridge Chief Rugby Reporter CARDIFF SEALED their first BUSA win of the season with a determined display against Bristol University.

Bristol however, would return to England ruing a simple penalty miss and an appalling tactical decision, which ultimately cost them in a tight, physical match.

With a starting fifteen containing only five regulars from last season, Cardiff began positively with their early phases of play reeking of purpose. Full-back Jamie Roberts slotted a penalty over within the first five minutes to give the home side a 3 - 0 lead.

This lead was extended when standin skipper Jonathon Hill stole the ball

in a tackle and raced through the Bristol defence to score.

Roberts continued to impress with his long rage kicking and was successful with the difficult conversion.

Bristol began to exert pressure upon the Cardiff defence and won a penalty in front of the posts. Inexplicably, the Bristol kicker dragged his kick wide.

There was no respite for Cardiff however, as prop Aled Mason was sinbinned for killing the ball.

Bristol made the one-man advantage count as their centre crossed underneath the posts following a quick-tap penalty by the scrum-half.

This time, the Bristol kicker made no mistake and made the score 10-7.

On the brink of half-time, Bristol themselves were reduced to 14 men as their wing was given a yellow card for tackling Roberts in the air.

In the second half Bristol began to

Rugby First XV grab first win of the season with a tight 10 - 7 victory over Bristol

dominate in possession and territory.

Their attacks, though, were repelled by a resolute Cardiff defence.

Replacement full-back Nick Grant had a difficult opportunity to extend Cardiff’s lead with a penalty kick, but his effort narrowly missed.

Grant more than made up for this moments later with a try saving tackle to stop Bristol’s rampaging blind-side flanker in his tracks.

The Cardiff defence remained tenacious with Ed Hampson making an outstanding tackle in the corner when a try seemed to be beckoning for the away side.

With 15 minutes remaining, Cardiff surged into the Bristol twenty-two.

However, they failed to turn pressure into points following copious amounts of phase play. W ing Jon Walder posed a constant threat to the Bristol and frequently

found an extra yard of pace when called on in defence.

In the dying minutes of the match, Bristol won a penalty in front of the Cardiff posts. Unbelievably they opted not to go for goal and force a draw, and ran the penalty instead.

The Cardiff defence, as they had all match, stood firm and held on to secure their first victory this season.

Cardiff’s Head Coach Martyn Fowler commented: “That’s the worst we’ve played all year, yet we’ve won, and again we’ve shown we can compete in this league.”

With a win now secured, Cardiff can take much confidence from this match in the realisation that they belong among the BUSA elite.

The result leaves Bristol stranded at the foot of the BUSA Premier. Cardiff currently lie in sixth place of the league, with a total of three points.

CARDIFF LADIES Hockey 1sts swept past UWE 7 – 3, taking them joint top of BUSA 1A with next week’s opponents, Gloucestershire.

After a convincing win away to Southampton in their previous fixture, and a win against rivals UWIC in the second round of the Welsh Cup, Cardiff travelled away to play UWE brimming with confidence.

The match started slowly with both teams making numerous mistakes.

Cardiff capitalised on UWE’s errors early as Sophie Blair slotted in Cardiff’s opener.

The away team soon began to dominate; man of the match Amy McGowan and Tamara Fateh controlled the midfield, and UWE saw very little of the Cardiff half for the next fifteen minutes.

A foot on the line gave Cardiff the chance to go two ahead but Laura Ferguson’s penalty flick was well saved by the UWE 'keeper. Cardiff did not have to wait long before another opportunity came their way. Blair slotted home her second and Donna McCormick scored the third.

3 - 0 up, Cardiff refused to become complacent and continued to press; Ferguson found the back of the net, and, just after, Blair bagged her second hat-trick in as many games.

Cardiff pushed hard as half time fast approached but got caught at the back as the UWE forwards broke. Good composure saw UWE score their first of the game as the whistle blew to end the half.

The beginning of the second half saw Cardiff play some more good hockey. Their sixth goal came from captain Fateh, beating the ‘keeper in a one-on-one situation, demonstrating some great individual skills.

At 6 – 1, the visitors eased the barrage and became a little sloppy, quickly needing to regain their composure as UWE scored two goals in as many attacks. Cardiff replied, attacking in floods, and were rewarded with a goal scored by McCormick, who completed her brace.

After the match, vice-captain McGowan spoke to gair rhydd, saying: “We still have a lot to work to do, but we're where we want to be, at the top of the league.”

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