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HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS - LIVING WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER
Home Is Where The Heart Is:
t is an inevitability whilst being at university that you will either know someone or be someone who has committed “flatcest”, perhaps the most common of first-year faux pas. Despite the chorus of friends saying, “don’t shit where you eat”, there are a few reasons why dating your flatmate can be a fun and convenient choice. Being forced to share so much early on, from weird kitchen habits to bedhead appearances, allows your lives to blend effortlessly. Furthermore, you don’t have to feel bad for kicking them out late at night -they can just pop back to their room! So, how do you make living in such close quarters work? 1) Try not to skip the honeymoon phase just because your living situation makes you feel married already! It can become easy to fall into a routine of date nights becoming nights spent in front of Netflix. Schedule intentional time to see each other and plan dates out of the house! 2) With living together, the temptation to spend every minute side by side is even stronger, yet don’t feel like you can’t spend a night apart. Relationships don’t need to consume you! University is an amazing opportunity to make friends and explore different versions of yourself, so remember to see other people and have some alone time.
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3) Lastly, try not to rub the relationship in your flatmates’ faces or drag them into your drama. Try to keep arguments discreet and PDA to a minimum. It can feel cramped and lonely to share a residence with a loved-up couple and even worse to share with a fighting one. So, try not to snog or shout at the breakfast table… And the best tip for dating someone you already live with? Don’t. Maybe consider going a little further afield… perhaps next door?
Words by Francesca Manenti
“Home is wherever I am with the right person.” Everyone, including myself at first, must have unrealistic romantic expectations about living with their loved one. The joy of cooking together, having movie times before bed and waking up to your love every morning is genuine, but some incompatibilities are inevitable. Despite living far apart from my boyfriend, we still stay together during long holidays like Christmas and Easter, sometimes in his place and sometimes in mine. Spending time together every single day makes us both realise the subtle differences in our lives, such as our food habits and how we arrange things. I love spicy food, while he doesn’t; I like things to be organised and neat, but he has a spontaneous personality; sometimes I’m clingy, yet he occasionally needs to be alone. These tiny things have made our cohabitation somewhat more difficult than I expected. Fortunately, we accommodated each other quite well and didn’t fight much.
Home Is Where The Heart Is: Living With Your Significant Other
I know how cliché it sounds but giving yourself and your partner enough time and space is the key to living together without huge fights. Try to make every moment you spend together quality time instead of complaining. Living together doesn’t mean blindly sacrificing principles or boundaries to accommodate one another. Having your own life is vital. You cannot stay together 24/7. If your partner wants some private time, leave them alone for a few hours and do your own thing. The proper break will make your time together more precious and meaningful as you get to share more little but intriguing things they don’t know. Personally, making space is how I keep the relationship, especially cohabitation, fresh and harmonious.
Words by Laura Schjoett
I moved in with my partner about eight months into our relationship. After spending nearly every day together since the moment we’d met, we wanted nothing more than to have a place all to ourselves. In the beginning, everything seemed perfect but after the initial excitement wore off, we both found ourselves arguing more over issues we’d never encountered before – from little things such as whether we should or shouldn’t rinse dishes after soaping them (you should) to more serious problems like failing to respect each other’s personal space. After some time, we realised that the real issue was our lack of communication. It’s cliché, but communication is key. When entering this argumentative stage, it’s easy to frighten yourself into thinking that you made the wrong decision and that you and your S/O aren’t so compatible after all. But often what you really need is a long, honest conversation about your living situation. Discuss what you expect from each other, making compromises where needed. Set boundaries, and establish your personal spaces. Simultaneously: make room for quality time. Whilst living together means being in each other’s company almost 24/7, consciously choosing to spend quality time together will strengthen your relationship as you are not only acknowledging your partner’s presence but actively appreciating it. Remember to keep an open mind; you and your partner will never see eye to eye on everything but it’s important to always be open to each other’s ideas, from new routines to unusual home décor. And if things go smoothly, they may even start to rinse the dishes after soaping them.
Words by Nicole Wong
Design by Ananya Ranjit
