Quench - Issue 95

FOALS

Plump Djs - Dot to dot festival

contents: Issue 95 // May 24th - June 7th

8!

ARDIAN STUDENT MEDIA AWARDS 200 MAGAZINE OF THE YEAR AT THE GU

VOYEUR ROBBIE

BLIND DATE FEATURES BOOKS p. 30

GAY FOOD

INTERVIEWS p. 19

TRAVEL INTERVIEWS FASHION PHOTOS BOOKS ARTS GOING OUT MUSIC FILM LISTINGS

Cover Design: Simon Lucey

04 06 07 08 10 12 15 19 24 27 30 35 38 39 47 55

FILM p. 47

Editor Simon Lucey Executive Editor Emma Jones Assistant to the Editors Elaine Morgan Arts Amelia Forsbrook, Natalie Stone, Blind Date Sarah Kilby, Caroline Baldwin Books Emma Pocklington Fashion Emily Cater, Kate Eaton Features Ellie Woodward, Sarah George Film Lloyd Griffiths, Jody Tozer, Steve Wright Food Harriet Davies, Hayley Pyper Gay Lucas Owen Going Out Jack Doran Interviews Tom Rouse Listings Tom Rouse Music Sam Smith, Phil Guy, Si Roach Photos Jake Yorath, Liz Foggitt Travel Dom Kehat, Paul Stollery Proof Readers, Matt Wright, Greg Rees, Liz Foggit

printed on recycled paper. PLEASE RECYCLE.

voyeur

WIN 2 tickets to

T

here has been uproar within the university and students' union. Rights have been violated. Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela and Emily Pankhurst would be mortified at the injustice that has plagued the poor students of our fair city.

I am talking of course of the emergence of fitfinder.co.uk. For those of you unaware of the internet's latest attempt to promote sexism, paedophillia and sexually transmitted diseases fit finder allows anonymous users to "register a fitty," allowing other browsers to presumably seek them out and do unspeakable things to their person.

It seems the objectification of innocent student's bodies is common place, for example. "Bute (Side Room) Male, Brunette hair. blue jeans and yellow polo - looks greek. I'd love to have his meat in my kebab."

Obviously offering students the platform on which they can publicise a sentence or two of their own words is a ridiculous proposition, which the founders of fit finder should probably be flogged, hung, or at least slappedrepeatedly.

Hence following other universities such as Durham in banning fit finder on the university server seems like the most logical conclusion.

But is it? The internet has increasinly been used as a tool for free spam, free porn and free speech for the last ten years. While it is not my place to comment on the first two, it seems that fitfinder is simply a tool for us to express ourselves.

Fitfinder does not promote abuse, however, by not limiting the comments posted, it is subject to abuse. It is obvious that fit finder can be used in ways that we may find offensive, but does that mean that we should ban them? Maybe we should grow a sense of humour and grow the fuck up.

SL

04 / voyeur@gairrhydd.com

l 's premier student festiva For two tickets to the UK stion below to quench@ que send your answer to the friday the 28th of May. gairrhydd.com by kets to you won two free tic What would you do if break? beach

ba dom tish

jolly humorous stuff

I explained to the doctor, "Whenever I harvest our cornfields, I get a really bad headache."

"It's a migraine," he explained.

"No, it's not, it's mine - and why the fuck have you started speaking Italian?"

dictionary corner on the buzzer with student filth

To spiderman: Verb. To ejaculate on one's hand and to proceed to flick it towards the face of one's sexual partner.

After 15 pints I spidermanned all over this bird didn't I. Waaaa.

Voyeur

voyeur

e jive suckas over at Dear er, Mr. Mr. T 've heard the news yet, but thos iction? Paaiin. Nah, I'm Wassup bro? I don't know if you pred new A-Team movie! I know. My h acting before, so muc e Fox have cast me as you in the don ain't I . shit y craz racter, all that that's my job eve beli 't just playin - got to get into cha can a, (hah r acto out, give a fellow I was hoping you could help me 'll just tell me to 'get some nuts', right? Maybe hit me with you now! Sweet!) some tips? I bet on your legacy of kickin s? Super psyched to be carrying reckon? Could you pity ade gren awk moh e thos one of you do t wha So es. in on no plan ass, taking names, and not gett me? this fool and lay some facts on Quinton 'Rampage' Jackson (a.k.a. the new B.A. Baracus!)

Dear Quinton,

my advice prior to underfeel honoured that you would seek Thanks kindly for your letter. I do portrayal of me as both an ed slightly offended by your caricatur me as a person was the nd taking the role. However, I do feel arou e otyp stere the that ld be aware I have regretted it ever and actor and professional. You shou er, care my in er ly managed PR earli negative outcome of years of poor are merely a means of since. , you should understand that they As for mentioning my recent ad work er play World of Warcraft, nor, due to a life-threatening I neith funding my true work as a pastor. some death. And as for my I would surely perish a most grue allergy, eat Snickers bars. If I did, Personally, I was granted my role. a trait I developed for that e the hills of Virginia and paralysing fear of aviation, that was often spend weekends gliding abov private pilot's license in 1994, and photography. casting in the role. It indulging in my passion of nature but I do feel a little surprised at your nuanced method acty Quinton, I hope not to offend you, ough thor my s of this film care not for were scraping the seems to suggest that the producer 's TV years. I worry slightly that they , like Mark Wahlberg show the g durin cus Bara of l raya work ing port my of age herit the ruin may the film bottom of the barrel a little, and that Job. n r, and that God blesses defecated all over the original Italia you the best of luck in this endeavou new hairdo as soon as Having said that however, I wish a find My one bit of advice would be to you and your career in the future. will never get over it. ia med the in ons mor possible. The

Laurence Turead (Mr. T) Wishing you all the best,

voyeur@gairrhydd.com / 05

robbie

EDUCATION EDUCATION

POLITICS Bored of people ranting about politician's backgrounds? Greg Rees takes the unpopular decision of defending them for once...

N

ot your regular columnist this week. You’ve got me instead. Being a bum Literature student who just happened to finish last Monday (gloating, me?), I jumped at the chance to fill up my currently nothingy existence by getting some absolute drivel published on page 6 of Quench.

Until I realised that 600-odd words is an awkwardly middling amount to fill. Cue desperate panning of housemates for suitably succinct ideas. There were some top suggestions (not least of which concerned the mysterious nature of our regular columnist: with no credits on the team list, does that mean the column’s actually a sinister conglomeration of Robbie the Seal from Pingu and, erm, H.G. Wells?) Eventually, though, I decided to drone on about something that’s been pissing me off lately. Namely politics. Do I hear the sound of snoring? Keep with me a bit longer, it’s not complete bollocks. Honest.

The new Cabinet is being criticised over education. That is, not the education that the government is providing, but the education that its members received. Too privileged apparently. Too dyed-in-the-wool, virgin-sacrificing traditionally Tory.

Cameron went to Eton and Oxford.

Osborne, St. Pauls and Oxford.

Even those nicey-nicey Lib Dems are supposedly upper-middle-class scumbags: Clegg attended Westmin-

06 /robbie@gairrhydd.com

ster and Cambridge.

So, the honourable members have been to university. Ooh, scandalous!

Hasn’t it been government policy recently to send 50% of us to the halls of knowledge yearly? As for those posh schools, well, it’s surely outrageous that any parent would encourage future prospects for their child.

Is Eton really all that brilliant anyway? Prince Harry, third in line to the throne, attended Eton. His A-level grades? A not-so-princely B and D. Hardly Oxbridge material.

Hardly Cardiff material, and I doubt he would have got into the other Cardiff institutions either. Hell, those grades wouldn’t have been anywhere near the top of the class even at my comprehensive, and we were told it was a great year if the rate of five good GCSE passes exceeded 44%. Money may buy you a place at a decent school, but it doesn’t necessarily guarantee you brilliance and authoritative privilege at every turn.

You still need competence. (OK, OK; Harry’s a bad example with those follow-ups, but the point is still valid.)

Now, I’d like to think that prejudice is on its way out. Aneurin Bevan, the only great Welsh Labour MP, has been credited with saying (I’m paraphrasing here) ‘it’s not where you come from, it’s what you do’ (pity nobody told his party that over the last fifty years, mind.) I’d like to think that’s the case, but sadly it seems not. It’s seen as cool to cuss those

better off than you. David Cameron et al are from privileged backgrounds, so that means they must dine on lightly sautéed quail’s eggs, truffles and the bones of starved pensioners every night. No? Well, y’know, I grew up on a council estate and went to a comprehensive that no average Harriet Harman would send her kids to. By that standard, I should surely be out burning cars, robbing shops and impregnating 14-year-olds. And yet here I am at Cardiff, lazy as fuck but committed enough, and well on the way to scraping a 2:1 and ‘contributing to society’ at the end of it.

Perhaps it’s not brilliant that the Cabinet largely hails from that mystical race known by the media as the ‘ruling elite’. It doesn’t actually matter, though, because the state of the country depends on their competence, not their backgrounds. Posh boys like Cameron are accused of being out of touch, but MPs don’t simply base policy decisions on their own experiences. They consult, they poll, they procrastinate. And would the critics be any happier if the Cabinet consisted of Preston prostitutes or Durham dole hounds? Would they fuck. Let’s wait before judging this new government, and then judge them on what they do at their desks now (especially if it involves fellatio), not on what schoolroom desks they sat at thirty years ago.

blinddate

Blind Date This week we sent Jody and Liz out - will their date be as fiery as an Icelandic volcano?

"I was a bit surprised it was a girl - no one told me about that bit!"

Liz So what were your first impressions?

I liked her luscious lips and she had a winning smile!

The best bit?

Sat chatting over a few glasses of wine - it was really easy going, I enjoyed it all.

If she was an animal what animal would she be?

A fox - she seemed cunning, elusive and mysterious Were you nervous?

I was really nervous, I'd never done anything like this before!

What did you do after the date?

We went to a bar for another bottle of wine Jody in three words?

Fun, busty and flirtacious.

Will you be meeting up again?

Um, I'm not too sure. We definitely got on, I might keep my fingers crossed.

It has to be done - chuck, fuck or marry?

Well I don't like to kiss and tell.... ;)

Jody What were your first impressions?

She was very funky, but I was a bit surprised it was a girl - no one told me about that bit!

The best bit?

Deciding to just go with the flow, thinking, "What the hell - let's just see what happens!"

Learn anything interesting?

I learnt many things about myself that night...

What about embarrassing moments?

Well I actually had a bit too much to drink, and the majority of the night is a bit of a blur!

Do anything special to get ready?

I had my standard, glass of wine while watching EastEnders. I even wore my special bra!

If she was an animal what animal would she be?

Squirrel - she was timid, careful and a bit nuts!

Liz in three words?

Funky, cool and fashionable.

And finally, chuck, fuck or marry?

She was a nice girl - so I think I'll go with marry.

blinddate@gairrhydd.com / 07

features

The Good Life As students, we often feel hard-done by, constantly strapped for cash and nutritious food. But are we luckier than the generations of students before us?

Rachel Hulder dicusses the supposed 'champagne lifestyles' of students today 08 / features@gairrhydd.com

features

S

tudents and ‘the youth of today’ are continuously bombarded with clichés from the older generation with ‘you don’t know how lucky you are’, ‘in my day you wouldn’t have lasted five minutes’ and one of my favourites, ‘you don’t understand the value of money’. To the latter I argue that in the student union I experience value for money with a vodka cranberry juice costing under £2 in comparison with having to part with an extra £1 for the same drink in Buffalo Bar. Similarly, WHSmith pic’n’mix is far preferable with its fixed price per cup size, in contrast with Cineworld’s extortionate price per kilogram weighing system that is over £1 per 100g!

In all seriousness however, one such attack against the student’s understanding and appreciation of money came from Professor Kevin Sharpe from Queen Mary University. His particular gripe is student spending and hails students as ‘the champagne generation’ due to our apparent extravagant budgets and negative relationship with our bank balances. Another key concern for Sharpe is the £20,000 debt we shall be leaving university with. This he attributes mainly to our splashing out on laptops, Blackberries and designer clothing. There are two sides to every story of course and universities house students from all walks of life, some of whom do fritter their loans away and then rely on parent support, however to suggest this is the general rule is in my opinion incorrect.

Surely the main point to address here is Sharpe’s comparison of student life now is quite understandably going to be made against his own university experiences. The issue here is that he would not have paid tuition fees, a small factor that contributes to around half of our entire university spending. Without this £3225 a year going directly to the university the majority of us would not be anyway near to the £20,000 debt mark. When looking at our debts from this perspective the shock factor Sharpe has tried to create in his article is considerably dulled. Again there are obviously those students who may well achieve such a debt even without tuition fees: one of my flatmates

for example, when asked whether or not he thought students lived a champagne lifestyle answered, ‘Hell yeah of course! Fuck, I even bought champagne last week!’ This rather surprising statement was nicely balanced out however by the admittance that the reason for his newly bald head was that he preferred to shave his hair off rather than pay for a haircut.

"Why shouldn't we take advantage of interest free loans?"

The article, published in The Times provoked much discussion from readers. One gentleman who had been a student last in 1994 commented that when he had been at university student were an ‘elite bunch’, ‘the pursuit of knowledge was an ideal’ and ‘poverty was a rite of passage’. Another reader builds on this with a complaint about our living on borrowed money and spending it lavishly as if we would not have to repay it. The mention of borrowed money is a sore subject for students across the country for two reasons. Firstly 175,000 students are still awaiting their loans and grants from student finance, without those many are floundering and having to rely on parental support which cannot be guaranteed depending on their own financial situation.

Secondly and related to the latter, without this ‘borrowed money’ the majority of students would not be able to obtain the degree that is for many employers now a primary requirement. Without this ‘borrowed money’ students really would be ‘an elite bunch’ of young people from wealthy backgrounds living on mummy and daddy’s money. The world we live in today is apparently continually striving for equality; the loan system allows people whose parents cannot afford to send them to university the opportunity. This is in fact the majority of students. In 2004, ten years since our first letterwriter was a student, 43% of young

people are undergoing some form of higher education and 90% of these are receiving financial support from student finance agencies. This highlights further just how ‘elite’ students would be without our loans, the best minds may not have access to the best facilities or be able to further themselves and purely because of financial constraints.

The article attacks students for squandering their loans with frivolous spending and yes, this does of course happen with some students.

One friend, a primary example of such keen spending, in fresher’s week kitted his room out with a brand new widescreen television and went on a designer label shopping spree while another spent £120 in one afternoon on three items of clothing! But again I would say this isn’t the norm, the majority of people I know avoid going out into town at the weekends as it’s so expensive, buy Tesco economy wherever possible and are planning homemade Christmas presents...pasta picture frame anyone?

My final thoughts considering a few different perspectives are, we are young, and we should have fun.

Students work hard. Yes, we lie in 'til midday and talk about nonsense until four in the morning but when those essay deadlines come in we use those late nights to read and write and re-write. We stay in while everyone else is out and we consume copious amounts of cheap chocolate to help us on our way. For the most part we diligently attend lectures and take notes, speak up in seminars and feel a little bit more intelligent for this. So why should we not be able to relax and make the most of something we will never be able to take advantage of again, interest free loans!

There is plenty of time to talk, like Sharpe, about ‘not in my day’ and scrimp and save for a shiny car or the ultimate in kitsch wallpaper but for now we can and should relax with Family Guy box sets, maybe the odd splurge on chocolate puddings and water-down the potent taste of cheap vodka with equally cheap fruit juices – this does not make us sinners and I for one will certainly not be investing in champagne any time soon!

features@gairrhydd.com / 09

gay

FINALLY

EVICTED 10 /gay@gairrhydd.com

gay

Charlotte Palmer is here to tell you why gay boys and girls up and down the UK are delighted that one particular MP won't be anywhere near the new government.

S

o we've gone and got a new government. Nick chose Dave and the rest as they say is history. There has been a lot of opinion voiced on the result, however the loss of one MP has passed by the media relatively quietly.

This one lady definitely won't be taking forming part of any new government. If you're a Twitterer you might be forgiven for thinking we're talking about Phillippa Stroud, that Tory who tried to 'cure' gayness with chanting or whale music, or something like that. If you're not on Twitter, you probably don't know who she is - the BBC (that publically-owned body we all pay for) refuses to cover the story.

No, instead we are talking about someone else. Among the gay community, Iris Robinson is not a name that settles fondly on the ears, but fortunately her opinion now counts for nothing.

When researching the Irish First Ministers wife’s many homophobic rants, one stuck in my head rather more disturbingly than others; ‘there can be no viler act, apart from homosexuality and sodomy, than sexually abusing children.’

It’s pretty insulting to have been lumped in with paedophiles yet the words can be taken less seriously once it becomes clear they come merely from the adulterous, hypocritical mouth of Mrs Iris Robinson.

It cannot be doubted that her recent attempts to re-enact something like the film, ‘The Graduate’

question her morality and place her in a very weak position to cast judgement over us.

Being the wife of Irish first minster Peter Robinson, much to my dismay and most probably many others, Iris Robinson occupied a high standing position within Northern Ireland until her recent downfall.

Her smug moral preaching is

"It's pretty insulting to have been lumped in with paedophiles..." never far away from our unwanting ears and yet it was recently revealed she had indulged in an extramarital affair; pretty distinctly immoral especially in light of her superior attitude.

It doesn’t end there either; at an almost pensionable age of 59, her lover was in fact a mere 19 years of age-a boy she had known since he was nine-which to me gives a lot more ground towards a paedophilic nature than she may accuse us gays of. I wonder for how long she had been attracted to this young associate forty years her junior?

Film enthusiasts reading will al-

ready know where my reference to The Graduate comes in - a film in which a ‘30-something’ year old woman seduces a young university graduate. Its not just the name of the lead character that she shares; Iris Robinson’s case has a strange and canny resonance to the plot of the film.

Just to add to the already brimming bag of Iris Robinson’s misdemeanors, she also called upon two property developers to raise £50,000 start-up capital for the budding business of her toy boy lover, which she demanded back when the relationship went sour.

Unsurprisingly her downfall wasn’t far away and it came early this year as she was terminated from the Democratic Unionist Party. She resigned from office and it was revealed that both she and her husband were facing allegations of financial impropriety.

Gays everywhere may now sleep soundly knowing that she will no longer be allowed to spew forth her bigoted and outmoded opinions, and one more self righteous homophobe has lost their platform for ranting. It is safe to say that ultimately she suffered a much greater fall than any member of the gay community were caused by her words.

In the words of Simon & Garfunkel, as featured in the 1967 film; ‘God bless you please Mrs Robinson…..’

arts@gairrhydd.com gay@gairrhydd.com / 11 31

food

Laura Oliver teaches us the history and correct etiquette of a proper British Afternoon Tea Party. So don your Sunday best, fetch the scones, and maybe get Jeeves to bring the tea‌ 12 /food@gairrhydd.com

food

time for A

tea...

History

W

e will start, Ladies and Gentlemen, with a foray into the past, to the roots of the tea industry.

According to legend, in 2737 BC a servant was boiling drinking water beneath a tree for his master the Chinese emperor Shen Nung, when some of the tree’s leaves floated down into the water. The tree was a Camellia sinensis, and when the emperor tried and enjoyed this accidental concoction, tea was born.

A few hundred years later us wily Europeans started trading, and amongst the British upper classes tea became the beverage to drink in the 17th century when Charles II married Catherine of Braganza, a Portuguese tea-drinking addict.

So, as one can see the Tea Party is the realm of royalty, and us more common vulgar beings must respect its laws. This brings me on to the subject of etiquette.

lthough the idea of a ‘Mad Hatter’ or ‘Alice in Wonderland’ tea party may seem pleasant enough, my problem is that there is generally a fundamental flaw to these soirées; a distinct lack of actual tea. While some may prefer to sip their Strongbow out of a tea-cup, for me this is a profanity. Afternoon, or low tea is a superior practice based on a strict etiquette, therefore for you uncouth out there, here we have a lesson in the refinements of the classic tea party.

Manners, please!

I

feel that it is a waste of my precious time to address my attentions to the mannerisms of many of you, yet I have compiled a short list of rules and regulations that may prevent a devastating faux pas, just to help me sleep better at night: •One does not take tea. One drinks it. From a teacup. With fingers spread either side of the handle, and a pinkie slightly pointed for balance.

And yes, one does look rather posh.

•One does not stir tea. The clashing and bashing of porcelain is enough to make any sophisticated lady blush. Start at the 6 o clock position and fold the liquid towards 12 o clock. And for goodness sake, take the spoon out.

•Lemon or milk may be served with tea. Never mix the two or they will curdle and you will be serving

the tea-time equivalent of a cement mixer. This is neither attractive nor amusing. Well, it may well be a little amusing.

•While eating scones, one does not ram one in one’s gob and swallow it whole. Bits should be broken off and jam and/or cream delicately applied, you fat heffer.

So now to important matters. If one is hosting afternoon tea then, further to the tea, it is common practice to supply breadstuffs as refreshments for your (hopefully) charming guests. A variety of savouries and sweets is preferred. Over the page are some examples of the more traditional nibbles to compliment your party, given in the order that they should appear on your stand (top to bottom).

food@gairrhydd.com / 13

food

Scones

Toasted Tea Cakes

225g/8oz self raising flour pinch of salt 55g/2oz butter 25g/1oz caster sugar 150ml/5fl oz milk

5 cups self raising flour 1/2 teaspoon salt 4 tablespoons butter 3 tablespoons caster sugar 3 tablespoons sultanas 1 egg 1/4 pint water 1/4 pint milk

1. Heat the oven to 220C/425F/Gas Mark 7. Lightly grease a baking sheet.

2. Mix together the flour and salt and rub in the butter.

3. Stir in the sugar and then the milk to get a soft dough.

4. Turn on to a floured work surface and knead very lightly. Pat out to a round 2cm/¾in thick. Use a 5cm/2in cutter to stamp out rounds and place on a baking sheet.

5. Lightly knead together the rest of the dough and stamp out more scones to use it all up.

6. Brush the tops of the scones with a little milk. Bake for 12-15 minutes until well risen and golden.

7. Cool on a wire rack and serve.

Cucumber Sandwiches Or any sandwiches in fact. But there is something quintessentially British about this one, crust-less, paper thin and lightly buttered. If you need a recipe then please, don’t integrate yourself in society until you have asked ‘Mummy’ how to make them.

14/food@gairrhydd.com

1. Preheat the oven to 150 C/ 300F/ Gas Mark 2. Lightly grease a baking sheet.

2. Sieve the flour and salt into a large basin and rub in the butter until the mixture resembles breadcrumbs.

3. Mix in the sugar and fruit.

In a separate bowl, combine the milk and water and mix in the egg.

4. Add to the dry ingredients and mix until it becomes a soft dough.

5. Divide the mixture into eight balls and flatten each into a flat cake.

6. Place on a greased tray and bake at 150 degrees C for 30 minutes.

7. Remove and cool on a wire rack.

To serve, slice and spread with butter or condiment of your choice.

So there you have it Ladies and Gentlemen. I have done all I can to lure you out of your incivility and into the realm of the genteel. Some may say that it is all about having fun and entertaining friends, but no. One false step will lead to your social destruction. Enjoy, and good day to you.

This week's review

By Alex Gill Conveniently based on Whitchurch Road, next door to its sister restaurant Mint & Mustard, Chai Street cafe offers a whole new experience in Indian food. Last Thursday Chai Street offered something different to the Leaders Debate with their launch party. Food critics, local MP’s and investors were treated to a delicious selection of starters, mains and some very tasty desserts.

The concept of Chai Street is to bring popular traditional Indian street food to the table, mixing fine dining with Indian cuisine is something that Head Chef Anand George has been working on for years and Chai Street certainly offers you all of this for a very reasonable price.

Chai Street is open daily at 8am for early morning breakfasts, midday munchies and late afternoon treats as well as creating homemade chutneys and pickles including their own home-baked breads.

Try something fresh and exciting... experience a little bit of India right here in Cardiff for yourself.

travel IN F BRITA BEST O

Bath. . .

Whether it's soaking like a Roman, or walking a stranger's dog, Clare Baranowski talks us through the joys of this ancient city.

F

ancy a soak under the stars?

A cruise along the river? Or maybe just a picnic next to Johnny Depp’s house? If so Bath is the ultimate destination for you. It is located only an hour on the train from Cardiff and despite its status as a UNESCO World Heritage Site, it offers a variety of cheap activities for students.

Bath is a city best explored by day. ‘The Tub’, as it is referred to by locals, is best described as a buzzing city dropped amidst the rural countryside. Due to its Roman heritage Bath is a historically enchanting place, with long, cobbled streets and a whole host of eccentricities, such as rowdy street entertainment and quirky gift stalls, the centre is always buzzing. The city’s most obvious tourist hang out is the Roman Baths.

As popular as they may seem, there is an opportunity to escape the crowds by taking a dip at night! With student discount you could be gazing at the stars in the open top roof pool, followed by a mini spa session, for a mere twenty quid! As I always say, when in Rome...

Bath is a haven for those with a sweet tooth. ts numerous tradi-

tional tea rooms and authentic sweet shops can make deciding which to sample a tricky business. Yet, if you follow the mentality that older is better, I would recommend Sally Lunn’s Buns, the oldest tea shop in the world, and The Olde Sweet Shop, (the clue's in the name). If gorging on sugar isn’t your thing then there is the healthier option of walking around the city and surrounding area. Short strolls can be found around the centre, whereas longer

"Gaze at the stars in the open top roof pool" walks along the canal and city skyline can provide better views. If you would like to be accompanied you could always go to the dog home next to the University which allows volunteers to walk a dog for an hour!

Bath enjoys a large park at its centre, fully equipped with a mini golf course and a back stage pass to the crescent, a semi circle of Edwardian houses, owned by the likes of Johnny Depp and Bruce Willis.

There are loads of ball game and picnic opportunities and if you miss

Johnny at home you could always pop down to the Pig and Fiddle, his local. Another chance to stalk celebrities is on Bath University Campus.

Its amazing sports facilities includes an Olympic sized pool, high tech gym and is the training ground for many of the 2012 Olympic squad, occasionally including the England rugby team!

Despite advertising it as a sunlight city, there are clubbing opportunities at the underground clubs XL and Second Bridge, although, if I were you I’d stick to the local pubs and restaurants. The Walrus and the Carpenter is a small, low lit restaurant well known for its large portions and great jazz music, and The Victoria Works is recommended for its local ale. Opa, the shisha bar offers a relaxing smoke which may be compulsory after the frights from the walking ghost tour which traces the cities most haunted buildings.

All in all Bath is an interesting and versatile city. Its history draws people from around the globe, and as we live so close, I think it would be a shame not to give it a try, you won’t be disappointed.

travel@gairrhydd.com / 15

travel

Stockholm

16 /travel@gairrhydd.com

travel

With its immaculate streets and crisp architecture, this European capital lacks the girtty character other cities possess. Alexi Gunner explains how this seeming perfection has its flaws but makes for an interesting change.

A

city elegant to the eye and gentle to the touch, its architecture, art and culture is of the highest standard. Yet, in an attempt to make utopia, Stockholm is in many aspects a rather depressing place to live. It's a little like being repeatedly bashed over the head with a rainbow.

Pretty, but painful. The attempt to make a social idyll has left the people and the vibe feeling just a little melancholic.

Self-proclaiming itself as one of

the world's most beautiful capitals, it is true that its appearance is agonisingly perfect. There is no other city in Europe so immaculately clean. The moment something just slightly fades, or a dent appears, it is repainted and fixed. Even the medieval buildings are in such a pristine condition that it appears as if they have been professionally aged by experts. Although this consistent strive for perfection sounds like a dream, it is in fact one of Stockholm's vices. First of all, living in such a seamlessly clean and ideal place can easily rub away the identity of the city, as well as the people living inside it. For what is London without Banksy, New York without the Bronx or a slum free Rio de Janeiro? Sometimes it's the flaws, defects, the cracks in the pavements and walls that makes a place extraordinary and unique.

With constant restrictions and age limits on liquor and everything else that could possibly be non-virtuous, you will have to get through more masses of security and obstacles than anywhere else to get whatever it is you want. You will find it quite the challenge to buy drinks, but will yet comically see more fully grown adults acting as drunken teenagers here at night than any other place.

Things are evidently more enticing when forbidden.

During the dark trials of winter, Stockholmers unfortunately appear to be in general quite miserable and dull people. Writer and traveller A.A Gill may have only been partially correct when describing the Welsh as 'bigoted, dark, ugly pugnacious little trolls', but was however spot on when naming 'depression, drinking, loneliness, nihilism and busted families' as typical Scandinavian traits.

The few moments that the sun engulfs the city is when it can be enjoyed at its best. It is the time of year where everything seems to flourish and receive new life, be it the people, sights and atmosphere.

Take a trip to the vast archipelago,

an endless ocean of islands, where you can retreat and give in to the calm lethargy of small isolated towns and hidden beaches. Patios are opened, sea fronts are endlessly lined with sun worshippers and people seem to start enjoying life again.

It is a delightful change from winter and is the time when you are guaranteed to leave with fond memories.

In the stranglehold of regulation, going out in Stockholm, especially as a student, can be tricky. The reputation of its nightly culture is prestigious, and rightly so. Like many other metropolitan destinations, enjoying the authentic experience of night means a sky high budget, and an ability to 'fit into the crowd'.

But what makes Stockholm distinctive and interesting is how reflective it is on fashions around the world, with places being updated to the minute on current trends in London, New York or Paris. Swedes are after all globetrotters, and their culture mirrors their tendencies to pick up influences from their travels. There is central eastern Stureplan, bringing a preppy and sometimes pretentious crowd, striving to be a doppelgänger of London's or Manhattan's social elite. On the other hand there is southern SÜdermalm, an overseas tribute to Shoreditch and Dalston.

In the fear of misrepresentation, let me clarify that Stockholm is a friendly place, but only once you have broken the ice, which can often be as thick as the frozen winter water. If you appreciate urbane eye-candy and a social life that is all about membership, Stockholm is a classy city indeed. But for the majority of tourists it remains nothing but your typical tourist destination.

And that is exactly why when we were relaxing with drinks one lazy afternoon, surrounded by a breathtaking view and beautiful people, when my friend was eagerly asked by a local how he found Stockholm, he pondered for a moment, and decisively chose to reply with no more than an 'ok'.

travel@gairrhydd.com / 17

interviews going out

Fresh new foals Kayleigh Russant talks Sweden, stenches and vinyl with Foals bassist Walter Gervers

interviews@gairrhydd.com /19

interviews

T

he Foals are not your typical Oxford dropouts. Nor are they your trypical indie band. Opting for a life on the road instead of the monotony of English Literature at Oxford, the band have never looked back.

The band's debut album Antidotes attracted attention for being far more cerebral than the majority of contemporary offerings. This trend looks set to continue with new album Total Life Forever with the first track relreased Spanish Sahara attracting rave reviews.

I hear the new album Total Life Forever was recorded in Sweden.

What was that like?

"It was pretty awesome, it was in a handbuilt warehouse full of sound chambers the desk had David Bowies Heros recorded on it. It had

loads of cool instruments all over the place too, it was a bit like playing in a music museum."

"I still get that boyish excitement of holding the CD for the first time" Were you ever tempted to play with them and put them on the record?

"Well, we were experimenting with sounds, but we were trying to stop ourselves getting out of hand and making the record cluttered and messy. We were trying to make the

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ideas themselves the focus of the songs and not the production."

The album seems to have a theme through it. Did you purposely link the songs together?

"Yeah a little, some points on one song may influence another. Most songs we're quite open to change so as we were going along we found that certain songs would flow better next to each other on the record, fitting it together like a jigsaw."

How proud are you?

"Very! Its coming out in a few days time and its so great to have a phisical product to show for a year of hard work. I still get that boyish excitement of holding the CD for the first time thinking 'this is so awesome!' I think that's the best part of the album process."

So do you think that in a world

interviews

"I can't wait to go home and sleep"

where music industry is going digital, it's still important to have the physical product?

"Yeah, it's great to have something to keep. I'm a big lover of vinyl and 7" singles too and think that its really important to keep them going too. We had our single (Spanish Sahara) out on 7" limited release in support for Record Store Day. We were not planning on releasing it but we thought it was it was a good excuse to put it on vinyl."

You have been on tour for about a month now. Is tour as rock and roll as you expected?

It's great for a while, lots of drinking and messing around, but you quickly burn out and it turns into a bit of a routine; turn up at venue, sound check, drink, play, drink, sleep and it all happens again the next day.

The tour bus is starting to get a little smelly and cramped and it's full of old unwashed clothes.

Anything you miss about home?

"The tour bus is starting to get a little smelly and cramped" A decent cup of tea! And walking.

And a decent night’s sleep. We had a bit of a mental night in Nottingham and Ive only had a few hours sleep as the boys came back at 7am and starting chucking beer about the

bus. I blame Tinned (foals artwork designer) and Rich (guitar tech), they’re a bad influence on the rest of the band.

Anything you are looking forward to?

All the festivals, we’re doing the standard Reading/Leeds plus Fuji rock in Japan, they are crackers out there. We are also doing a UK tour towards the end of the year which is going to be awesome as this mini one has gone so fast. Oh, and going home. I can’t wait to go home and sleep.

New album Total Life Forever is out now and can be found at Spillers Records.

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interviews

In anticipation of their up-coming new single, Nick Otter tries Plump DJ's fat bass on for size.

P

lump DJ's were part of the dance music underground at the turn of the century and now ten years later they're going on in much the same vein. Having helped pioneer the breakbeat movement, they have diversified in recent years with their repertoire incoporating more influences from electro house and bass music. We managed to collar them for a few minutes ahead of their May Bank Holiday performance.

Plump DJs… how’s it going?

Yeh, not too bad.

First question concerns your label. You were on Finger Lickin’ Records and then you moved on and started your own label Grand Hotel. How has the transition been?

Well, it’s taken a long time. We left Finger Lickin’ about eighteen months ago and the first Grand Hotel release ‘Get A Grip’ was a couple

of months back. We’ve got the next one coming out in July so it’s been a very slow thing for us but we’re still learning.

Is it just you on the label?

We’ve got a couple of other acts on it at the moment and we’re going to branch out, probably next year. : Fantastic. So, what was the thought behind starting your own label, more control over what you are doing?

Well our ten year contract at Finger Lickin’ came to an end, we’ve had a really great tour of duty with them, and it’s just the way the world is at the moment. It’s easy to have a voice on your own and do your own thing your own way, so it just seemed natural for us to set up our own label and start doing things the way we like it.

What new releases can we expect from you guys, anything in the works at the moment?

Well the next release on Grand

22 / interviews@gairrhydd.com

Hotel called ‘Banzai Cat’, is out in July and the one after that will be a Plump release, hopefully in September.

Nice. So will this next release be along the same lines as your usual material?

Haha, well, watch this space.

We’re experimenting so much at the moment. There’s so much good music out there and we’ve always been inspired by our environment, ever since we got into break-beat initially, so yeh, watch this space.

When you produce your tracks is your main focus what it will sound like in a live environment or do you take it apart from that and see it as a work of art?

At the moment, it’s mainly about the club. About two years ago we did the ‘Headthrash’ album on Finger Lickin’ which was a good opportunity to experiment a bit but now it’s like dance-floor, dance-floor, dance-floor.

We try and make it as punchy as

interviews

HOW TO MAKE

PARTIES possible with drums and stuff so yeh, we’re definitely producing for the floor.

So, where do you guys see yourselves in 5 years?

A bit plumper.

We're experimenting so much at the moment...watch this space Haha, I wouldn’t dare comment…You’re looking pretty busy travelling all over the place, is that something you look forward to or do you just kind of take it in your stride?

Bits and bobs, we really look

Photos: Tom Armstrong

forward to the actual gigs; the actual travelling can be a bit boring.

Where’s the best place you’ve ever played?

Probably the first time we played in Sydney, we did a big festival with about eighteen thousand people; we didn’t expect it to be that big. We made a couple of tunes just for that event, one was a Donna Summer bootleg.

What country would you like to play in that you haven’t played in yet?

I’d like to do Exit Festival in Serbia, we turned it down years ago and I don’t think they’ve ever forgiven us. We’d like to do that because the programming on the event is always really music lead and it would be really nice for us to play our new music there. We’re playing Shambhala Festival for the first time this year in Canada, which is going to be quite mad, it’s right up in the pine forests.

What’s been the greatest mo-

ment in your music careers so far?

I think there are a lot of great moments along the way but, coming somewhere like this and you’re still being accepted in the environment you’ve been in for ten years, that is about as good as it gets. If you get anymore rejoicing in what’s happened then you sort of get lost, it’s all about what’s going on now.

What gives you the most satisfaction out of the music that you make?

Seeing other people get into it.

When you hear another DJ playing it, that’s when you know people are getting into it. Also when you’re in the studio, imagining yourself on the dance-floor when making a record and, when you play the record, seeing people doing just what you imagined yourself doing…That’s pretty nice.

interviews@gairrhydd.com / 23

fashion

Photos: Liz Foggit

24 /fashion@gairrhydd.com

fashion

Emily Cater met up with Elle's assistant stylist Natasha Wray and talk careers, menswear and inspiration.

L

ast week the Elle team embarked on a journey to Cardiff to scour the shops for inspiring Welsh talent. Quench fashion were lucky enough to catch up with Elle’s assistant stylist Natasha Wray to chat about the competition, as well as stealing some of her top style tips.

Perhaps what’s so refreshing about the idea behind the competition that Natasha is keen to make clear early on, is that there isn’t one route into a job as a stylist, and girls from all backgrounds can do it, “I think its important people know that there’s not just one route, and you don’t have to do unpaid work for years and years”.

Natasha believes it's all about a positive attitude and having the confidence in yourself to succeed, “If you know you want it and you believe you can have it and you're enthusiastic, you’ll probably get it”.

Natasha herself began her career as a shop assistant, before undertaking various work placements, eventually leading her to secure her job at Elle, which she’s been doing for five years. So what’s her advice for anyone trying to make it as a stylist? Naturally, be enthusiastic- “Its fierce, you have to really want it”.

Enthusiasm was certainly shown by the Cardiff winner of the “Shop

girl to stylist” competition, Newport design student Emma James.

Emma’s denim clad mannequin stole the show, displaying the effortlessly cool festival look, working this season’s double denim trend.

Natasha admitted she couldn’t help but love Emma’s look, denim being one of her favourite pieces- “I pretty much always wear denim; I love my denim shirts and jeans”. Given this, it comes as no surprise that denim is top of Natasha’s list for key pieces every girl should own this season- “Yeah denim’s definitely big for summer, but also starting to pare things down, less of the big and bold and more of the classics, or a classic piece like a watch or a gold chain”.

"The trick to pulling off menswear? It's all about the little details" Another key styling tip from Natasha; don’t be afraid of menswear- “I think you should always have menswear in your wardrobe, it’s always

Love fashion? Work in retail, but always dreamed of working for Elle magazine? Well now's your chance!

Its official, leading fashion magazine Elle has begun its nationwide “shop assistant to stylist” search and are on the hunt for the next big styling talent. The competition is open to any girl, or guy, who works in retail, loves fashion and dreams of being a stylist. In a competition dubbed “fashion’s X factor”, the winner will get the

really flattering and you always wanna have like a tailored jacket”.

The trick to pulling off menswear? Its all about the little details, as Natasha explains- “ I think just add a feminine touch to anything masculine you do wear, so like tuck it in, roll it up, button up or accessorise somehow”.

Natasha’s certainly a big fan of menswear herself, donning a chunky gold mans watch, and oversized man’s denim shirt, looking every inch the part of fashion stylist.

So where does Elle’s Natasha get her style inspiration? “Chloe Sevigny is just such a cool girl; she would be the ultimate sort of Elle girl! And having spent a day with Chloe Sevigny I can say she’d be a great girl to have a drink with” Natasha laughs.

The competition is the chance of a life time for one lucky shop assistant, so don't be afraid to enter if you think you've got what it takes, as Natasha says "if I had it when I was working in a shop, I would’ve dived at the opportunity. I think its amazing." So for all you budding stylists out there, what are you waiting for?

To enter the competition, visit elleuk.com/shopgirltostylist and follow the competition instructions, or join Elle on their journey in a city near you!

chance to style a shoot for Elle, and win a highly coveted internship at the magazine with expert mentoring from Elle’s internationally renowned fashion director AnneMarie Curtis.

The lucky winner will get the big break thousands of us fashion enthusiasts can only dream of, in a talent search that will last throughout the summer across the UK.

fashion@gairrhydd.com / 25

photos

photoshop Some hints and tips from Chris Griffiths & Tom Armstrong

Photo: Zak Grindle

O

ne of major benefits of digital camera technology is the ability to delete, edit and retake photographs that aren’t quite up to standard.

Deleting and retaking is simply a practical benefit, however, the digital editing process has brought a whole new dimension to photography - with a wide range of purposes. Ranging from the simple effects available on camera-phones to professional editing software like Adobe’s

Creative Suite 4 (if you have £1,500 to spare), photo editing has become an accessible and commonly used feature of camera technology.

Most will have cropped an ugly mate out of a photo, changed the hue/saturation to turn that drizzly BBQ into the summer of ‘69, or played with black and white to make St Mary’s on Friday night seem ‘melancholy’. What is often overlooked is the constant use of photo editing in all visual media, from advertising

and logo design to fashion shoots and art.

Here are some examples that illustrate how Adobe Photoshop can be used, not only to enhance your photos but also to create some surreal and imaginative images. Some of these aren’t as complex as they seem and the skills to transform your photos can be learnt with ease.

Starting with the basics, the image of the man on the boat (following page) shows the power of Photoshop to change average lookingi

quenchphotos@gairrhydd.com / 27

photos

Photo: Chris Griffiths & Tom Armstrong ‘clear’ setting was used on a picture of a globe set on a white background. This is then pasted onto the eye and resized to fit the iris.

To allow both the pattern of the eye and the detail on the globe to remain visible, the globe layer’s opacity was reduced to 30%. The map image, also with reduced opacity, was pasted over the whole image. Using the ‘magnetic lasso’ tool the section over the eye was selected and removed, allowing the eye to remain clear of the map’s detail. The ‘magnetic lasso’ tool is incredibly useful as it automatically selects defined lines in an image, meaning selecting parts of is simple and requires no painstaking freehand cropping.

Photoshop can also be used to create entirely new scenes, whether making a composite (the car opposite) or building a picture from scratch - like the swan on the previous page. There are numer-

Photo: Chris Griffiths & Tom Armstrong

photos into well-balanced and perfectly exposed images with very little effort. If a photo with great content is ruined by simple mistakes, like underexposure, it can easily be rescued. Even most basic programmes carry the tools needed for this kind of enhancement. Four steps change the original picture, into the more energetic version: * Increased contrast to define previously fuzzy edges. * Brightened slightly. * Increased saturation for more defined colours. * Blended using the ‘Vibrance and Luminosity’ tool (blends are optional – play around with them to find your preferred effect).

The image below shows the potential of Photoshop as a tool for design in advertising and promotion etc. Three images have been layered, with the eye as the main picture. The ‘paint bucket’ tool on a

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ous tutorials available online which provide step-by-step guides to construct these artistic images. These instructions provide a great start for experimenting with photo editing, manipulation and enhancements.

For activities like logo design and graphics work, slightly more advanced techniques are necessary to combine existing images into something completely innovative and eye-catching.

With a little bit of time and effort even the most everyday images can be altered and enhanced. So, whether you’re constructing a portfolio, promoting an event, making your fake tan look less orange, or just being creative, don’t be put off by seemingly complex methods. Give it a go, experiment a bit and see how far you can get – you can always hit ‘undo’.

photos

"You can create the surreal and the imaginative"

Photo: Zak Grindle

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books

"Call me old fashioned but it was all just a tad too The Mermaids Singing for my taste"

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books

Keinc

Rhys Trimble

pub. Cinnamon Press

K

einc is the new collection of poetry by Rhys Trimble, a Zambia-born poet who has spent most of his life living in various parts of Wales. Many of the poems in Keinc thus reflect the beautiful or dramatic imagery of nature in the Welsh countryside, though often in a disjointed, somewhat ‘experimental’ metre.

Trimble is bilingual, and many of the poems incorporate the Welsh language to great effect: it is an integral part of the poetic rhythm, and shouldn’t feel alien to readers who don’t know much Welsh (like myself), or even none at all.

The Merry Misogynist Colin Cotteril pub. Quercus

T

he sixth installment of the Dr Siri series sees the return of the unlikely detective in one of his most disturbing adventures.

The Merry Misogynist is the story of Dr Siri and his friends as they track a vicious serial killer. Set in communist Laos in the 1970s The Merry Misogynist explores the issues of a newly revolutionised country with a surprising amount of dry wit.

All the mismatched characters of this novel are likeabe and somehow merge together in a believable fash-

There are many nods to traditional Welsh tales such as those in the Mabinogion, and poems such as ‘dostoevsky lvs kerouac’ unsurprisingly contain more recent reference points. That poem is a favourite of mine, with its abstract descriptions of two lovers, and its wonderfully laconic, vivid descriptions of the mundane.

Other themes that are evoked in Keinc are the extraction of oil (‘the landwhales’), mountain journeys (‘afanc’), and a reflective Christmas Day (‘wen’) Much of the imagery here is striking and thought-provoking, although if you want to sit under a tree on a sunny spring day and bask in poetry that gently reflects your surroundings, I wouldn’t pick up Keinc, which doesn’t really make for a casual read. The collection’s strong point is undoubtedly its use of language, and it would be wonderfully suited to

ion. The plot takes many unexpected twists and turns but I must admit to being slightly unimpressed with the riduculousness of the final revelation.

Call me old fashioned but it was all just a tad too The Mermaids Singing for my taste.

I also struggled with the tone of this book. For a novel set in communist Laos some of the dialogue

"The supernatural element felt entirely out of place" just sounded so British. Author Colin Cotteril has spent so long living and

"If you want to sit under a tree on a sunny spring day and bask in poetry that gently reflects your surroundings, I wouldn't pick up Keinc" recitals in late-night cafés. Trimble is building a reputation not only as a poet, but as a performer too, and this collection clearly shows some promise.

Greg A. Rees

working in Thailand that it is disappointing that such errors are made. It was difficult to feel totally immersed in the plot when on occassions the setting just didn't feel real.

The supernatural element too felt entirely out of place, conveniently dropped in to explain away an impassable knot in one of the many subplots. I think had I read a previous Dr Siri mystery this theme may have been better explained but one of a series should really be capable of standing alone.

This book was a good read, it could be quickly perused in your spare time on a holiday, but I don't think I'd be tempted to read it again.

It was good entertainment but the setting distanced me and the closing revelation failed to impress. Close, Cotteril, but no cigar.

Emma Pocklington

books@gairrhydd.com/31

books

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books

Bound Parliament

Only one week after the general election the publishing house were already blocked with politicians eager to dish the dirt on their collegues. Emma Pocklington questions whether we should waste out limited student funds reading yet more political spin.

F

or the past few weeks every media form available has been jumping on the politics band-wagon. It’s been impossible to go online or to turn on your TV without seeing something about the elections. Let’s face it, it was only a matter of time before the literary world grabbed the horns of the exposé cash cow.

"The literary world has grabbed the horns of the exposé cash cow" The first of the expected influx of political works comes from Alastair Campbell, who published his edited journals The Blair Years three years ago. He is now bringing out his complete journals from his time with the Labour party totally unedited.

The first of four hefty volumes from the renowned doctor of spin will be launched at the Hay Festival at the beginning of June.

The diaries are being promised

by Random House to be ‘frank, open and revealing,’ but following such issues as the expenses scandal you’ve got to wonder how much more dirt there can be to drag out, or how much the British public are going to care. This first volume

will cover the period from 1994 to 1997 and boast 75% previously unpublished material. Who would have believed we only know a modest 25% of what the politicians have been up to already?

Campbell isn’t the only one cashing in on a literary work, in America Sarah Palin is bringing out her second book. I know what you're thinking, what could possibly top the memoirs she published last year?

But her latest book entitled America

by Heart describes itself as a celebration of US values. Brilliant.

Apparently this latest book was inspired by the ‘thousands of everyday Americans’ Palin met through the promotion of her memoirs and she aims to praise the values that have ‘made America what it is today.’

That’ll be cheeseburgers and guncrime then.

It is predicted that the book market will soon become clogged with sordid tales of back-hand dealings and selfrighteous propaganda.

Unfortunately the simple fact that our big name publishing houses are willing to take on these books is enough to show that someone somewhere must be reading them. And you’ve got to wonder why. Perhaps readers of Campbell’s diaries will be hoping to get some truthful explanation for issues like the war in Iraq?

I don’t think they should hold their breath.

"She praises the values that made America what it is today. That'll be cheeseburgers and gun-crime then" Personally during the stressful exam period I’m going to stick to some lighter reading. I can highly recommend Rick Riordan’s Percy Jackson series. As with Campbell's book you still feel the need to put a sleeve for Tolstoy over the cover, but Riordan's book provides better writing and more likeable characters.

books@gairrhydd.com/33

arts

F

rom May to July, the people of central London may start to notice a few large, colourful objects popping up around their city. Two hundred and fifty elephantshaped objects actually, decorated by famous artists as part of the Elephant Parade, a campaign to raise awareness and money for endangered elephants in Asia. Far from grey and leathery, these elephants are bejewelled in red (Andrew Logan), silver and psychedelic (Gordon Murray) or painted bright blue (Jonathan Yeo). The life-size models are expected to pull crowds of 25 million and will later be sold at auction to raise a predicted £2 million for the endangered animals.

A

ngela de la Cruz describes her work as ‘everyday paintings’.

Others may describe them as ‘not very good’, but that may be a very non-arty thing for me to admit. De la Cruz begins simply, layering oil paint onto canvas in one colour to create a very smooth surface. Then she goes a bit crazy – the canvases are ripped, smashed and crumpled then displayed in corners, on the floor and other unexpected places. They are ‘paintings about paintings’, apparently tackling the ‘death of painting’ that some recognise in today’s modern art. De la Cruz has been nominated for the Turner prize, so maybe her broken canvases deserve more insightful comments than ‘not very good’.

S

o the idea of a life-size bronze sculpture of two people doing it doggy style may be considered shocking, but it’s the 21st century, we can deal with it. Then you realise the woman with the giant breasts actually has a penis and it’s the guy who’s on all fours – I won’t go into the graphic detail. Mark Quinn’s sculptures focus on the human body and the concept of what is normal. The ‘Pregnant Man’ is a huge sculpture of Thomas Beatie in white marble - it makes an impression to say the very least.

Arts update arts@gairrhydd.com/35

arts

ARTS SEEN

The Devil Inside Him Theatre New Theatre

L

et’s cut to the chase with this one. The Devil Inside Him is, quite simply, brilliant. National Theatre Wales want to engage and involve Welsh audiences. During your time in Cardiff, please allow them to carry out their duty.

The Devil inside Him is a lost gem, written by British theatre’s original angry young man John Osborne and rediscovered by NTW after sixty years buried in the archives. Now set to re-launch, this 1950s murder plot will challenge 21st century audience’s views about religion, life and death when character Huw Prosser poses the piercing question, ‘Is it worse to kill a body or a soul?’

The performances are one knockout after another from a stellar Welsh cast. Iwan Rheon’s tortured soul Huw is at its best alongside

Win a free magazine. . . !

A

ren't we good to you? This fortnight, we’ve managed to get a couple of copies of Aesthetica magazine to give away. Essential reading for anyone who’s at all interested in visual art, music, film or

36 /arts@gairrhydd.com

theatre, Aesthetica provides the most up-to-date reviews, insightful features and creative competitions to get you involved.

Don't miss out. To be in with a chance to claim a copy, just send a cheeky email. Good luck!

John Cording’s persecuting minister in a gripping confrontation bringing Prosser to his knees to ‘get the devil out of his soul.’ Although a firm audience favourite was Rachel Lumberg’s Mrs Evans, each performance strikes the right balance, creating a character with good, evil and space in between.

This is good, honest, relatable theatre that anyone who loves being lost in a story can enjoy. Support this innovative company whilst you are here; let NTW make waves across Wales.

Kirsty Allen

arts

Giselle

Dance Wales Millennium Centre

associates, however, are capable of making the show go spectacularly on. Had there been just one person in the auditorium, this company would have worked its hardest to bring them to their feet.

fter the curtain falls on Act One of Ballet Nacional de Cuba’s Giselle, a wearied classical ballet connoisseur expresses her distaste to me at the Donald Gordon Theatre being approximately three quarters full.

Her reasoning behind a modest audience for Latin America’s finest is the ‘pull of the celebrity.’

The company’s first performance in Wales included guest artist Carlos Acosta, an A-list in the classical ballet world. Acosta performed for two nights only, making Friday evening a quieter affair. Acosta’s

"Giving an Romantic classical ballet a Cuban stamp is about passion and precision"

When Harry Met Sally

you. So what happened when this epic love saga of the screen translated on stage? In many senses, the biggest challenge here was to measure up to the 1989 film.

Voice-overs of several lovers describing how they met was used to mark the transition of years.

However, the make-up of the actors did not suggest a changeover of twelve years, which was slightly odd. The sets were minimal; the New York skyscraper background remained consistent. Of the performances, Jayne Dunn and Hill buttered up charming performances.

Kosha Engler, as Sally’s best mate Marie, was good too.

A

Theatre New Theatre

P

erhaps, in the last two decades, Hollywood has seldom delivered a love story that has been as endearing as When Harry Met Sally. Nora Ephron’s penned tale that talks about two idiosyncratic characters finding love in each other just cajoles you into believing in that there is somebody out there cut out for

classical ballet a Cuban stamp is about passion and precision.

Anette Delgado as Giselle led a charming, flower laden corps de ballet, around a set of delightful gingerbread houses, in a flourish of perfect footwork and rapturous turns.

This captured a traditional fairytale setting to allure the audience into the enchanting Dance of the Wileys.

A simply mesmerising performance, choreographed with soaring arabesques, feathery footwork and soft, sumptuous turns lead by the fantastically frosty Sadaise Arencibia, left spectators spellbound.

With or without the A List, Ballet Nacional de Cuba is simply a superstar. Let it work its magic on you.

Kirsty Allen

Giving an archetypal Romantic

Like it or not, the play was a scene-by-scene copy of the movie.

Even the utterly hilarious, ‘Sally’s faking the orgasm’, scene was retained. So were all the puns and the punch lines from the original story. With that regard, the play did not merit any originality. Yet, it succeeded.

Suffice to say, it was suitably casted, aptly adapted and deftly directed. And yes, the play accomplished in leaving me with the same lingering thought that the film did – true love is never left unfinished.

Reema Gehi

arts@gairrhydd.com / 37

going out

Recommended

TRAFFIC

Stanton Sessions

Milton Jackson

Friday 28th May

Sunday 30th May

Saturday 5th June

Cardiff Arts Institute

Millenium Music Hall

The Back Room

W

hat better way to celebrate the end of those exams than a messy TRAFFIC rinse-out!

It’s the last night the Cardiff Uni students are hosting this year, so expect big things. Imagine a fancy dress photo booth, interactive games, free give-aways, face painting and of course, a huge soundtrack.

Pirate Soundsystem will be the main attraction bringing their hectic brand of bassline house.

Signed to Coin Operated, their sound is a raw and visceral.

Joining the pirates will be Bristol based lunatic Ed Cox. The DJ’s unique sound blends traditional folk melodies with breakcore and IDM beats. All of this dressed as a clown, playing an accordion behind the decks.

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nother massive year for CYNT comes to a close, and certainly in style.

The evening’s entertainment shall be presided over by the ever-popular Stanton Warriers.

Having dominated the breakbeat scene for some time, the duo is sure to pull a massive crowd.

Check out their remix of ‘Good Vibrations’ and you’ll know exactly why.

Plastician makes an exciting return to Cardiff, his intelligent take on dubstep stands the DJ out from the crowd.

Switch completes the trio of headliners, an exciting artist, recently deviating from ‘straight’ electro house sounds, experimenting in dancehall. Three times every Thursday.

Get yourself down to MMH and get involved.

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n exciting prospect for all you house fans out there, the news of Milton Jackson coming our way.

A true favourite in the industry, the producer crosses deep, soulful house with the quirks associated with IDM. House being a somewhat underrepresented genre in our city, Jackson will be a popular booking.

If a world class DJ wasn’t enough to get you psyched, the event will be taking place in, wait for it, a disused bank vault.

Believe it or not, the ex-Natwest bank has been converted, allowing for serious volume and no complaints from neighbours.

Breach the thick steel vault doors and get immersed in Cardiff’s only underground rave!

music albums:thedrums

local:review

feature:dot-to-dot

music

live:lcdsoundsystem

editorial

barely regal launch, 30.04.10

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hanks to the awkward timing of last issue’s publishing dates, our Barely Regal feature was written before the launch event, and then published after. Thus, it worked neither as a promotion nor a review. Thanks, we’ve been Quench Music, we’ll see ourselves out.

Kicking off the night (for me, at least – I was regrettably late) over at Clwb Ifor Bach is one-man-mathrock machine, Theo. Armed with a drum-kit, loop pedal and the grittiest guitar you’ve ever heard, the guy sets off a half-hour assault of fingertapping, double kick-drumming mayhem. He doesn’t stop once, it’s incredible. It basically defies the physical restraints of man, no-one can play that hard and that fast for that long.

Following is Man Without Country, who are fast becoming a local favourite in Cardiff. Watch this space for bigger things to come too - let’s just say some rumours are going around. Tonight, they play through a brief set of swirling shoegaze and downbeat electronic pop, pausing to thank the Barely Regal team for having them, before breaking out the ever-popular Closet Addicts Anonymous. So ends a successful night and a very promising launch. Phil Guy

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reetings Comrades.

Higher education’s wonderfully angular timescale means the year is coming to a close, and as such the baton of Music Editor-ship has been passed to myself, Michael Brown and Emma Wilford. As a trio we will strive to ‘quench’, (pun most definitely intended), your collective musical thirsts bi-monthly.

Okay guys, hold the phones, Cate Le Bon is back in the country.

What? You live in Cardiff and you haven’t heard of Ms. Le Bon? Well, shame on you my friend.

I apologise for my vitriol taking over there, but for those of you who are unfamiliar with Cate Le Bon’s wonky-pop stylings, now is your chance to make amends, as she has successfully completed a coastto-coast tour of the US, including well received shows at the Mecca of musical creativity that is SXSW. With her debut available through Rough trade there is no good reason not to familiarise yourself with her prior to her appearances at many a major festival this year.

Former Mynci, of the Gorky’s Zygotic variety that is, Richard James is making psychedelic waves once again in South Wales.

Having recently curated the musical proceedings at the recent

Laugharne Literary Festival, Richard’s talents have been enlisted once again to recruit the up-coming ‘Birds’ event at Chapter. As the event’s title states, the theme of the night is ‘birds’. Richard has put together something of a co-op of local artists, musicians and filmmakers to create an item in their respective medium paying tribute to our feathered friends in all their winged glory. Details are currently being kept under rather tight wraps.

Keep an eye close to Chapter’s listings for further details on this event taking flight.

As we’re keeping it within the Welsh musical dynasty this week, it seems fair to turn some attention up North.

Particular attention must be payed to Welsh pop’s primary protagonists Race Horses who will be kicking off their festival campaign this month at Bangor’s BBC Big Weekend Fringe event. The Horses’ Technicolor bubble-pop will be the perfect accompaniment to the British summer time. Providing Mr. Sunshine decides to greet us with his presence in the interim.

Keep an eye out in the next issue for a full preview of the upcoming festival season in all its cider drenched glory.

Jon Berry

music@gairrhydd.com / 39

music-feature

Quench previews Dot to Dot festival with a summary of this year's big acts...

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ristol’s one-day city festival approaches, waiting politely on the other side of an exam period that just won’t budge. There’s no skirting the library blues for students this spring, but rest assured there’s a whole batch of musical frivolity waiting at the end of the line. Dot to Dot marks the beginning of the festival season, and a quick day trip over the Severn is a fine way of easing into the spirit of things this May Bank Holiday.

Last year’s festival boasted some impressive names – the likes of The xx, Friendly Fires, The Hold Steady, Patrick Wolf, Ladyhawke and Little Boots all featured in the line-up, as well as smaller acts including Future Of The Left, Girls and The Temper Trap. Not bad for a one day festival, I think we can all agree, and this year's set to continue that tradition, despite the event falling on the same weekend that many artists are heading out to join an exasperatingly impressive line-up at Primavera Sound in Barcelona.

Here’s a rundown of the big names on offer at this year Dot to Dot, and why that short trip to the country next door is going to seem like a mighty fine prospect come May 29.

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Ellie Goulding Whichever way you look at it, there’s no denying that Ellie Goulding has had a huge year - a gargantuan year, perhaps. Either is appropriate. After topping the BBC Sound of 2010 poll and winning Critics Choice at the Brit Awards, the Hereford-born singer-songwriter released debut album Lights to a heck-load of album sales and quiet critical success. Contributors for Quench magazine – pinnacles of Western thought and conjecture – offered strong single reviews, but a reserved score of 5 out of 10 for Lights. Love her or not, Ellie Goulding is the big name at this year’s Dot to Dot and is sure to attract a good few punters.

Los Campesinos!

Attendees of last year’s Swn festival here in Cardiff might recall Los Campesinos’ triumphant headlining set at The Gate on the closing Saturday night – this might be a scene to recall regarding Dot to Dot this year, seeing as they’ve been designated headliners of the Anson Rooms stage. Los Campesinos are certainly divisive, but chances are

they’ll meet a fond reception over in Bristol after a string of successful album releases including this year’s Romance Is Boring.

Wild Beasts Another band to have graced the Swn stage in 2009, Wild Beasts are an irresistable live force. With the twinned falsetto of Hayden Thorpe and Tom Fleming's masculine baritone, the four-piece from Kendal are pop oddities that sit far apart from the flood of British guitar bands currently swamping the airwaves.

2009's Two Dancers met substantial critical acclaim - and rightly so - topping The Fly's '50 Albums of 2009' list and gathering praise from the likes of Drowned In Sound and Pitchfork. Lyrical ingenuity, slick musicianship and two of Britain's finest vocalists; if you're heading to Bristol this Bank Holiday, it's in your interest to catch Wild Beasts.

Liars Catergorised by their dramatic reinventions, Liars are an enigmatic and unpredictable force. 2006's Drum's Not Dead album saw the

feature-music

three-piece delve deep into experimental soundscapes and drone in Berlin before re-emerging with two massively acclaimed albums. After touring with Radiohead and releasing a new self-titled album Liars, this year saw the release of Sisterworld - a compromise between the dense layers of effects and a more direct punk aesthetic stemming from the band's time spent in Los Angeles. A menacing live prospect, Liars are not to be missed in this rare appearance in the UK.

in 2008, where this Norwegian electro ensemble topped the bill for a memorable performance over at Buffalo. After a support slot with Hot Chip last winter, things are looking promising for the nine-strong collective - if it's some foot-tapping grooves you want from Dot to Dot this year, look no further.

Blood Red Shoes

Bound to entertain, if nothing else, Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster are a rugged outfit hailing from Brighton and deal in brutally heavy guitars and gritty vocals. Having supported the likes of Placebo, Klaxons and Queens Of The Stone Age, they're not shy of the lime-light and their live shows are characterised by a wild passion, swearing and the occasional fancy dress.

This Brightonian girl/boy duo strive for urgency and prickly rawness where others opt for glossiness and sheen. Searing guitars and muscular rhythms make for pop music that is very much in the punk aesthetic, Blood Red Shoes conduct their craft in the shadow of American couterparts, The Kills, but time should see them gain the success they deserve.

Casiokids Veteran readers will remember the launch of Quench Live back

Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster

Field Music After messing around in other outfits with members of Northern colleagues, The Futureheads and Maximo Park, Field Music have become hotly-tipped by many a music

pundit thanks to a distinctively mellow and disciplined sound. You can see why Field Music were miffed about being pigeon-holed as just another indie-pop outfit; their recent material is streets ahead of the jangly nonsense that constitutes that tag. Which is more than can be said for those Mystery Jets, who are also appearing in Bristol at some point.

As if you care, Quench reader.

Johnny Foreigner If you're going to see Los Campesinos, then chances are you're going to see Johnny Foreigner as well. The former's brand of angsty, diary-fuelled lyricism and aspirations to the lo-fi punk of yesteryear is repeated here, only with three members instead of seven. If you fancy a sweat-filled bump and grind with the kids, here's your best bet.

Lonelady Shacked up in a warehouse in Manchester, Julie Campbell recorded Nerve Up. A one-woman exploration of post-punk and all things minimal, her performance is a must for fans of cross-over darlings, The xx.

music@gairrhydd.com / 41

music-albums

Deftones Diamond Eyes

Warner Bros.

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iamond Eyes marks the fifth album from Deftones and the first without original bassist Chi Cheng, following his car crash-induced coma in late 2008. With Sergio Vega filling Cheng’s considerably large shoes, there were worries that the band’s trademark, yet indefinable, sonic template could be distorted. Thankfully, this is not the case.

From the album’s opening title track to sinister closer This Place Is Death, Diamond Eyes is a brutally beautiful piece of work, encompassing everything that has made Deftones so important throughout their 15-year recording career. Royal evokes the power and energy of Around The Fur era menace, while You’ve Seen The Butcher takes the band along more groove orientated lines. Although lacking the poignant balladry displayed by 2006’s diverse Saturday Night Wrist, this latest release is a far more focused collection of songs, indicating a band drawn together, rather than torn apart, by tragedy.

Avoiding the temptation to wallow in sadness, frontman Chino Moreno has produced some of the most optimistic lyrics of his career; Beauty School and Sextape convey the simple joys of sex and relationships without any sense of cliché or distaste. Indeed, it is these images of hope juxtaposed with the album’s formidable instrumental aspects that make Diamond Eyes such a crucial release. Crushing riffs encircle the listener and, augmented by haunting samples and thunderous drums, they create a wall of sound more unified than ever before.

At 41 minutes, Diamond Eyes is the shortest Deftones record and noticeably so; an extra couple of tracks wouldn’t have gone amiss here, although the sheer quality of the work could well be what leaves the listener yearning for more.

Nonetheless, Deftones continue to surpass all expectations and remain one of the few incomparable bands in modern music.

Michael Brown

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42 /music@gairrhydd.com

The Drums The Drums

Island Records

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magine if The Smiths had once made sweet, sweet love with The Beach Boys, produced a love child raised by Robert Smith of The Cure in a sun-drenched Florida beach house, who then ran away to find fame and fortune in NYC and you might get something a little like The Drums, but with cooler hair and less eyeliner.

Appearing in every conceivable Top Ten, opening NME’s Awards Tour and winning the 'Philip Hall Radar Award' at the NME awards, all without releasing an album, it would be easy to say don’t believe the hype - Beastie Boys stylie - but it's annoyingly well-deserved.

Don’t let the infectious little ditty Let's Go Surfing fool you; these boys have as yet un-plundered depths, and from the opening gasps of Best Friend, “You were my best friend but then you died, when I was 23 and you was 25”, a far more in-

telligent and pensive record unfurls itself. Down By The Water, with meandering melody and swooning swells that make you fall in love with the lyricist instantly, is a gorgeous gem, while closer The Future is a case in point that this is not the last we’ll see of these achingly cool chaps.

"One of the major contenders for soundtrack of the summer" When it's released in June this year, The Drums’ debut effort of the same name will be one of the major contenders for soundtrack of the summer. Close your eyes when you’re listening to Jonny Pierce and co. and you can practically feel the Barry beach sand between your toes and taste the cheap, delicious cider on your tongue. That’s how summery this record is.

Emily Kate Bater

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albums-music

65daysofstatic We Were Exploding Anyway

Hassle Records

The Drums

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Flying Lotus Cosmogramma

Warp Records

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lying Lotus' third album comes off the back of the phenomenally successful Los Angeles; a sprawling collection that reached wildly into realms of laptop experimentalism and psychedelia, while remaining grounded in bass-heavy instrumental hip hop. After a fine critical reception - including the BBC's Mary-Ann Hobbs citing him as 'the Hendrix of his generation' - Flying Lotus releases Cosmogramma with considerable expectation this spring.

The first few spins come across as nearly incomprehensible. The record's frantic pacing and irreverent treatment of genre mean that the listener is often left bemused - as soon as grooves or harmonies settle into place, they're whisked off in another direction entirely. It's only on repeated listens that the record's impenetrable density gives way to

reveal some remarkable ideas.

From the outset, Cosmogramma is gigantic in scale. Sweeping string sections and harp-led interludes garnish bleepy analog electronics, growling bass-lines and sub-heavy rhythms that crackle with static.

The thing's basically a space opera, concerned with guiding its listener through unchartered territories of musical hybridity; German Haircut is an exercise in free jazz, whereas Zodiac Shit and Drips sit somewhere between celestial ambience and eight-bit videogame soundtracks.

A collaboration with Thom Yorke confirms Flying Lotus' new highprofile status and allows a rare opportunity for vocals to make an appearance on Cosmogramma, albeit siphoned through Flying Lotus' arsenal of filters and brooding effects. Not even the world's most hailed frontman can show-up a producer on this kind of form.

Cosmogramma was weighed down with expectation, but deals with it conclusively. It rewards patience and concentration as only the best records can, and maintains Fly Lo's reputation as a true visionary in leftfield electronica. Phil Guy

9.

his latest release from 65daysofstatic, their fourth studio album, has me torn.

Besides some light flirting in my early teens with Godspeed You! Black Emperor, 65daysofstatic were probably my first real taste of post-rock, before the label got bandied about too much and lost relevance. I was blown away by the sounds that this band achieve with their instruments and the way they would evolve into an emotional closing reprise, or a driven, angular math-rock behemoth with ease. So why then, does this latest release see me struggling to reach a verdict?

A lot of it has to do with the aforementioned instruments used on We Were Exploding Anyway. Or indeed the lack thereof. On this record, the Sheffield-based group have shunned a lot of their conventional tools to focus on a more electronic sound, resulting in an increased prevalence of synthesizers. 65’s records have always had an element of dance music embedded in them - something that gave them an edge over competitors in their field. But this album takes it further, focusing more on the idea of an apocalyptic rave rather than a complex, guitar-driven sonic assault. Tracks such as Crash Tactics and Piano Fights do echo earlier releases, but the sheen given by a high level of production values somewhat affect their resonance in my mind.

To be honest though, even though one could level elitist complaints that the band have forgotten their hardcore post-rock fans for favouring a potentially more accessible electronic sound, I don’t think I mind.

It's still 65daysofstatic at heart – progressive, layered and it still sounds unlike anything else currently on the music scene.

Ultimately, I can say with assurance that We Were Exploding Anyway is still rife with 65daysofstatic’s signature sound – a colossal, ambitious soundtrack to the end of the world. Only this time it’s even easier to dance to.

Sam Smith

7.

music@gairrhydd.com /43

music-live

LCD Soundsystem Bristol O2 Academy 2nd May 2010

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ince 2002, LCD Soundsystem has provided the vehicle for James Murphy’s insurmountable understanding of post-punk, disco and – perhaps most prominently – all things New York. The release of debut 12” Losing My Edge first introduced Murphy’s characteristically self-conscious musings on what it means to be a musician working in the 21st century’s musical hotspot, and the pressures of fulfilling fickle scenester hype. Murphy’s 8-year dissection of hipster pretension culminates in the release of third album This Is Happening, and a spring tour gives the UK a chance to bid farewell to one of last decade’s most exciting dance-punk crossover acts.

LCD Soundsystem-sans-Murphy take to the stage and slip into an instrumental version of Us V. Them

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from 2007’s universally championed Sound of Silver, shortly before the more-than-a-little-rotund 40 year-old joins to lend his vocal duties. Clad in a dark suit and tie, Murphy leads an energised and immaculately tight performance, working through a set compromising new material with older favourites. Daft Punk Is Playing At My House appears in an infectiously fast-paced version of its former self, and fan favourites Get Innocuous and All My Friends provide firm highlights at opposite ends of the setlist.

"His energy and magnetism are far from depleted" The seven-piece are visibly fluent in all the workings of the LCD Soundsystem machine; they operate their jungle of electronics with the utmost ease and precision, all the while conducted by their swaggering maestro. Never afraid

to dabble in his musicians’ work, Murphy assists whenever required or wherever his will takes him.

One minute he’s beating hell out of a drum-kit, the next he’s doing his best Prince impression at front and centre. He may be aged for a touring musician of this kind, but his energy and magnetism seem far from depleted in his year of retirement, and despite a confessed illness and sore throat, he storms through unaffected.

As an appropriate closing statement, the encore concludes with New York I Love You, But You’re Bringing Me Down; Murphy’s simultaneous condemnation and heartfelt tribute to a city that provided the backdrop and flavour to an 8 yearlong performance. Before wishing Bristol a final farewell, the band performs a brief chorus of Empire State Of Mind accompanied on piano; a fitting and surprisingly poignant acknowledgment to the city that has shaped and characterised LCD Soundsystem’s career. We can only hope that This Is Happening provides an equally suitable swansong with its release this month.

Phil Guy

live-music

RJD2 Fiddlers, Bristol 15th May 2010

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onsidering this was one of only two UK dates for Ramble John “RJ” Krohn, the other being London’s Scala, Fiddlers’ general atmosphere seems to belie an event such as this. Instead of the vibes, and location, generally associated with the dance music idyll, Fiddlers is located in the middle of an ever so slightly out of town industrial estate surrounded by the brickwork of Britain’s Victorian industrial past. The only thing to distinguish Fiddlers on this particular night was a group of be-capped youngsters, smoking and merry-making outside the venue’s entrance, obviously in the throes of anticipatory delight at the prospect of RJD2’s first UK performance in some time.

Entering the venue itself did little to diminish the uneasy feeling that was welling inside; an odd mix

of excitement and bewilderment.

Fiddlers’ feels as if it would be better suited hosting the regional finals of a national darts tournament as opposed to what can only be described as pioneer and purveyor of some of the funkiest Hip-Hop this side of the Bronx.

Aside from the smoking group outside the working mans club-cumpremiere dance venue (apparently), remained rather empty, aside from the dedicated, until the latter ebbs of DJ Moneyshot’s opening set. Throwing out some extremely dance-worthy mixes, Moneyshot’s infectious penchant for old-school soul mash-ups proved popular, even for those who had not been witness to it in its entirety.

Following on from Moneyshot’s groove assault, Cheeba brought an underwhelming minimalism to the proceedings, intermittently dashed with over-zealous, underperformed forays into turntable acrobatics that failed to impress.

As Cheeba’s set lumbered towards it’s end the atmosphere had a palpable static to it; a sense that in the ensuing minutes the electricity in the air would ignite with white

heat and engulf us all. I’d all but forgotten about the darts tournament that may or may not be taking place there in the near future.

RJ held off from striking the match, for a short while at least, by beginning his set with some drawn-out material from his latest opus, The Colossus, displaying his ability to create soundscapes that are both wonderfully minimal and richly textured. It didn’t take long for RJ to steer the set from the ambient to the amorphous, weaving his original compositions with a choice selection of Hip-Hop/Soul/Funk/ Swing samples. The fire was lit, and there was no chance of it being dampened.

Whilst RJ’s set was littered with crest after crest of memorable moments, the night could have been distilled into a single moment; as the beat dropped for RJ’s 1976 every of the four hundred and fifty, sell-out crowd present were bouncing in perfect rhythm with the beats being laid down, RJ and his followers interacting in perfect symbiosis.

Quite simply, one of the finest.

Jon Berry

music@gairrhydd.com / 45

music-singles

Muse

singles round-up

The Gaslight Anthem

Kele

American Slang SideOneDummy Records

Tenderoni Polydor

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4.

The Gaslight Anthem were one of our finest American imports last year. They sounded a bit like Bruce Springsteen, but cooler, and most parents hadn’t heard of them. This year they’re back with more of the same: nostalgic, land of the free rock’n'roll. Nice, summery car-radio music, but past its sell-by date. And this year your Dad might catch on…

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Kele Okereke, frontman of jibberishspouting, Radiohead wannabe indie rockers Bloc Party, has embarked on a somewhat ill-advised solo career. In a track sounding remarkably similar to a certain Rolex-related tune, Kele tediously spells out the title of the single letter by letter, accompanied by a generic Calvin Harris backing track. That said, the chorus is quite catchy. MB

Jamie Lidell

Pendulum

The Ring Warp Records

8.

A refreshingly modern take on oldschool soul, partly thanks to input from an array of musicians including Grizzly Bear’s Dan Rossen and producer Beck. Backed by an eclectic selection of live and electronic instruments, Lidell’s voice sounds appropriately sultry for the song’s treasure huntin’ theme, evoking feelings both of lost love and missing bounty. Definitely one to look out for. MB

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LCD Soundsystem Drunk Girls DFA

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Not a song which is instantly likeable due to LCD Soundsystem's love of repetative lyrics and random sound effects, but after a few listens it becomes annoyingly catchy. The upbeat, care-free music coupled with lyrics which ring true to an alcohol fuelled night out make it surprisingly good. Although it's a grower, it has potential to be a hit this summer. EW

Muse

4.

Warner Music

Neutron Star Collision Warner Bros.

Unsurprisingly, the new Penduluum song sounds just like the previous Pendulum songs. If you like Pendulum this will be fine. If you dislike Pendulum than this song will do nothing to win you over The fundamental issue is one of progression and this single demonstrates that the band either do not have the ability to, or more likely do not have the drive to alter a formula which sees them sell out the likes of the CIA on a weekly basis. For fans only. TR

Further descending into the excessivly ridiculous, it's safe to say that Muse's latest single is still very much in the vein of 2009's 'political' self-parodying masterpiece The Resistance. Not just content with having one of the longest and most pretentious song titles in recent history, Neutron Star Collision (Love Is Forever) manages to cram all that flamboyance and grandeur into a four minute, bite-size chunk, especially for Twilight fans. Aw. MB

Watercolour

film

film Upcoming Releases Out Now Robin Hood, Nightmare on Elm Street, Furry Vengeance, Hot Tub Time Machine, Iron Man 2, Bad Lieutenant, Four Lions, The BackUp Plan, The Last Song, Kites, Cop Out, Prince of Persia, Street Dance 3D. 28th May - The Losers - Rec 2 - Sex and the City 2 @ Chapter This Week: The Naked Truth, Four Lions, Until the Light Takes Us, Psycho, Crude, Lavender Screen: And Then Came Lola, RWCMD: Spring Awakening, The Hurt Locker, No Greater Love, Revanche, Vincere, Lion's Den, The Kreutzer Sonata, Clash of the Titans.

Iron Sky 'In 1945 the Nazis Went to the Moon. In 2018 They Are Coming Back.' So the tagline goes, and really, what more can you want from a film? Due to funding issues, Iron Sky has been stuck in development hell for a few years (seeing the words, 'Send Us Your Money' appear at the end is definitely a first), but director Timo Vuorensola revealed in an interview with the good doctor Mark Kermode at Cannes that not only will this film be happening, but German demi-god Udo Kier, he of Blood For Dracula, Blade and Lars von Trier's Epidemic Trilogy fame, will be lending his thespian credentials to the project.

A release date of early 2011 has been tentatively set, and frankly we haven't been this excited since The Phantom Menace...yeah. S.W.

AL - QUENCH LIKES: CANNES FILM FESTIV In Competition:

Un Certain Regard:

Biutiful The new film from Alejandro González Iñárritu, he of Babel, Amores Perros and 21 Grams fame. Unsurprisingly thus, this is eagerly anticipated. And word from Cannes is that Javier Bardem is unbelievable.

Film Socialisme Details about Jean-Luc Godard's latest opus are sketchy at present, but what we do know is that it takes place on a cruise ship, has multiple narrative strands, and stars Patti Smith. So could be interesting.

On Tour French knockabout comedy, noted for being directed by native Mathieu Almaric, who was heralded for his role in the extraordinary The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, and more recently as the the latest Bond baddie in Quantum of Solace.

Chatroom Finally, MSN the movie is upon us, about five years too late. Two things to lift your spirits: firstly, directed by Hideo Nakata. Secondly, starring Aaron Johnson. Literally everything this boy touches turns to gold, so let's see if his Midas touch endures.

Trailer Trash

film@gairrhydd.com/47

film

A Kick-ass culture With violence and gore peppering films as the norm, are we becoming desensitised to it all?

Jody Tozer investigates our new kick-ass culture in cinema.

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ow, don't get me wrong, first of all I'd like to point out that I think Kick-Ass is a great movie. However...and here comes the debate, it was a film that I felt pushed the boundaries of cinematic depictions of violence and death, with a scene where a man gets microwaved, a guy getting crushed in a car, not to menttion a little girl getting the crap beat out of her, I just felt it deserved a higher age rating than 15.

I know there are a ton of films out there with far more graphic scenes than this film, and maybe it was

the shock factor that contributed to its success, but rarely do I go into a movie not expecting to see the hiding-behind-my-hands kind of scenes that I did. Now I understand the argument that when a film's age certificate is decided, the target audience is taken into consideration, and with Kick-Ass being a teen-turnssuper-hero film, teens are essentially the target audience. On the other side of the argument, a 15 certificate should not include scenes that could be easily imitated. I refer to this kid ordering a scuba suit off the internet and taking on a gang with nothing but some ebayed makeshift weap-

Cannibal Holocaust, 1980

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film constructed from flashbacks, Cannibal Holocaust tells the tale of a camera crew heading into the Amazon rain forest to make a documentary about cannibal tribes, where they surprisingly end up meeting their early deaths. Cannibalism in itself comes with a lot of shock value, but added with real animal slayings including that of a squirrel monkey having it's face cut off with a machete, combined with the belief that this was an actual snuff film makes for a sensational shock value film that has been banned in many countries. It caused mass controversy upon release as audiences questioned whether the actors had actually been killed for the film, as they had signed contracts saying that they would stay out of the media.. Director Ruggero Deodato had to eventually prove that the actors were still alive and demonstrate how the special effects were achieved in order to avoid a jail sentence.

48 /film@gairrhydd.com

ons. Now I'm not about to join the plenitude of religious groups calling for this film to be banned, it merely leads me onto reflect how desensitised we perhaps are becoming to violent cinema. Such shock films as Natural Born Killers and A Clockwork Orange have in the past been accused of creating copycat crimes and subsequently banned, but what other shockers have had to battle the backlash of human morality over the years? I look at films of the past, present and future, and see how cinema has and still tries to shock us.

"Foul enough to christen you a pervert for even bothering" Slant magazine

film

9 Songs, 2004

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modern love story revolving around a couple's love for live music, the film basically involves these two attend many a rock concert and have a lot of sex. Having been referred to as one of the most sexually explicit manistream films to date, 9 Songs includes graphic scenes of the two lead actors having actual sex. Scenes include masturbation, oral and penetrative sex; so essentially scenes that wouldn't be out of place in films such as In Diana Jones and the Temple of Poon. With questioning over whether the sex scenes added to the film's meaning or were purely pornography, this film faced battles over it's age rating and became the most explicit mainstream film to receive an 18 certificate in the Uk.

" I am pleased to report that the hardcore sex action is completely gratuitous" - Guardian

"This violent, stylish psychosexual thriller is imbued with all the amoral energy of it's genre" Sundance Film Festival

The Killer Inside Me, 2010

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ith several attempts at an adaptation of Jim Thompson's novel of the same name, this book has finally made it to the big screen, despite reservations over it's violent content. Having already premiered at the Sundance Film festival, this film is set to hit UK theatres this summer. It is a story about a psychotic serial killer sheriff in Texas - clearly the best kind. There are such scenes to look forward to as the mental sherrif punching a woman until her face caves in, and with Kate Hudson and Jessica Alba starring in this, you can be sure to see a fair bit of flesh, even if it does end up splattered all over the wall.

Having reviewed just a small collection of shockers, even though I am very much a self proclaimed wuss when it comes to violent scenes, there is something that draws me in and makes me want to watch more, with controversy comes intriguement. With films now such as Kick-ass facing mild backlash, escaping any hint of being banned and even gaining a 15 certificate - despite the insane amount of death conducted by a little girl. It seems the board of film classification has become desensitised to shock scenes, whether we have ourselves is another matter, all I know, is I will continue to watch them behind the safety of my hands.

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Four Lions Dir: Chris Morris Cast: Riz Ahmed, Kayvan Novak, Nigel Lindsay

F

our Lions is without doubt the must-see movie event of the year. Its portrait of five men from Doncaster intent on blowing themselves up in a bid for martyrdom in the name of Islam doesn’t seem to be the most likely movie to fit that bill. It more than makes up for its risque subject matter, however, by being hilarious from start to finish.

Inevitably, certain people are jumping to the conclusion up that this will be insensitive towards victims of terrorist atrocities, yet in reality it is a clever and complex concept that strips the portrayed of any credibility. This is best typified by the fact that the group’s leader Omar (Ahmed) is the sanest of the lot. Or as sane as you can be when you’re considering strapping a bomb to yourself during the London Marathon. Barry (Lindsay) is the convert intent on blowing up the

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mosque to make the people rise up, which leads to a hilarious scenario in which he punches himself in the face to prove a point.

There are also darker moments, like when you see Omar’s seemingly perfect family, which he is willing to leave behind for a cause that none of them seem to truly believe in or understand. It is very easy to find yourself laughing at parts that really shouldn’t be funny, but Chris Morris’ clever screenplay manages to make it work. The security services are equally as bumbling as the main characters. After all, a Wookie isn’t a type of bear, and when you have a sniper rifle in your hands, it isn’t the time for mistakes.

''The must-see movie event of the year."

Four Lions is unmissable, and you’ll learn how to disguise yourself using different voices when you go to the shop to bulk buy bleach.

Sarah Kilby

9.

Robin Hood Dir: Ridley Scott Cast: Russell Crowe, Cate Blanchett, Mark Strong

W

hilst the image of Disney’s charismatic, bow-wielding, greenclad fox comes to my mind when I hear the name of Robin Hood, Ridley Scott obviously isn’t one for skipping merrily through the forest with woodland creatures when it comes to depicting one of English folklore’s greatest heroes. Not that I was expecting singing chickens this time round – Robin Hood was tipped as one of the year’s most exhilarating action movies, and Scott isn't usually one to disappoint in such territory.

If the opening sequence is anything to go by, it seems we’re in for a treat. As a visceral Gladiatoresque battle erupts, some muchneeded context is established within the medieval setting. Long story short, the newly appointed King John (Oscar Isaac) is a bit of

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a twat. Just as Robin (Crowe) is making himself cosy in Nottingham with Maid Marian (Blanchett) and co., the King goes power crazy and starts blowing up peasant villages left, right and centre. Great. Violent, bloody, traditional English fun, right?

Well, not quite. Whilst the battle sequences are fantastic, particularly in a gut-wrenching bloodfest of a finale, much of the film deals with the less than riveting issue of community in the 12th century. Everyone’s on par performance-wise: Blanchett is a wonderfully stubborn Maid Marian, whilst Crowe does his trademark rugged-and-reckless jaunt, the King is an imbecile and the Merry Men are drunkards. However, this may as well have been called 'Robin Hood Origins’ – it’s less about stealing from the rich and giving to the poor, and more about living in thatched cottages, with the occasional rain of arrows thrown in for good measure.

No doubt there’s a sequel in our midst, as our hero is only declared ‘outlaw’ by the end of the film – there’s still much to be told, and potential for the legendary tales of squandering that this film lacked.

Matt Ayres

6.

Agora Dir: Alejandro Amenábar Cast: Rachel Weisz, Max Minghella, Rupert Evans

A

lejandro Amenábar, the proud father of both Thesis and Open Your Eyes (to all foreign-language-filmvirgins, Cameron Crowe’s Vanilla Sky basically boils down to a much commercialised American remake of the latter), presents us with a distinctive story of Hypatia of Alexandria (Weisz), a 4th Century female mathematician, philosopher and astronomer, upon founding of the new organised religion, patriarchy as a dominant social norm, mass conversion to Christianity and a preface to the doomed Middle ages.

Inducing an arguably unnecessary amount of controversy due to its apparently anti-Christian elements, Amenábar forces us to evaluate our society, its origins, false faces and artificial rules we so often blindly subscribe to. Agora can be seen as a strictly historic,

almost documental portrayal of the end of paganism as a mainstream religion, and the new era of the Church in European lead. It is also, or perhaps mostly, a metaphorical parabola which, ironically enough, could easily be applied to the 21st century.

''Amenábar forces us to evaluate our society."

Amenábar speaks through his liberated, female protagonist, urging us once again, perhaps much louder this time, to open our eyes.

Veiled with a slow-paced plot, classically depicted beauty of the ancient world and alluring acting of Rachel Weisz, this picture tactfully screams at its audience, trying to grasp, understand and find the solution, which, if we listen carefully, it successfully provides.

More astonishingly, it does so using a single sentence.

Anna Siemiaczko

8.

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Eyes Wide Open Dir: Haim Tabakman Cast: Zohar Strauss, Ran Danker, Tzahi Grad

D

u sollst nicht lieben – the straight-forward, German definition of Eyes Wide Open translates to a simple command: 'You should not love'. It may as well be a perfect summary of the attitudes and the reality the protagonists find themselves to face in this new, widely acclaimed Israeli drama.

''A whispered story of contrasts and conflicts."

Jerusalem, the haven of deeplyrooted tradition, an orthodox mentality, the very heart of the world’s two dominant religions and an excluded sanctuary of dogmatic

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mind-sets vividly stands out against the secular Western culture. It is the place where Aaron (Strauss), a middle-aged, married butcher and prominent figure in the local synagogue, meets a young stranger in town called Ezri (Danker), when he one day appears in his shop looking for employment. As the plot unravels, deeply concealed emotions flee free and both men succumb to a condemned affair.

Eyes Wide Open is not another romantic heart-rending melodrama; Haim Tabakman serves us no cheap tricks. The narrative is scarce, observational rather than judgemental or emotional, and in no way does it comment on any motives, beliefs and decisions, leaving this most important task to the viewers.

It is an almost whispered, personal story of contrasts and conflicts, those very artificial and those very intimate. As we await an inevitable peak in the course of the affair, scrutinized by the local guardians of morality, the story slowly untangles, leaving us with the question of choice. The choice that, in this case, not only is life changing, but even more so - life defining.

Anna Siemiaczko

9.

Iron Man 2 Dir: Jon Favreau Cast: Robert Downey Jr, Don Cheadle, Mickey Rourke

I

ron Man 2 begins where the last one left off, with Tony Stark's (Downey Jr) climatic pronouncement: 'I am Iron Man'.

Six months on, and Stark is facing a whole host of new challenges; namely Russian copycat with an axe to grind, Ivan Vanko (Rourke), rival weapons manufacturer Justin Hammer (Sam Rockwell) and ongoing attempts by the Supreme Court to reclaim his suit, using friend James Rhodes (Cheadle) as a go-between. All the while, the palladium battery that charges his ersatz pacemaker is simultaneously slowly poisoning him, with the subsequent trauma slowly taking its toll on his psyche.

It posesses the same amount of unadultered fun as the original, largely thanks to Downey's ability to somehow imbue an arrogant, multibillionaire playboy with surprising

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depth and hypnotic charm.

Conversely, free from the chore of introductory exposition that every first film is saddled with, here Favreau is able to run riot, with mixed success. Rourke is suitably sinister, but is criminally under-used, and the less said about his Darth Vaderesque anguished howl at the film's opening, the better. Rockwell is gleefully smarmy, but does little.

Cheadle is an improvement on Terrence Howard's performance in the last film, but his history with Stark is underplayed. After an explosive half hour, there is a ponderous middle followed by a rushed climax. For all the explosions, not once does Stark really feel in any danger.

Indeed, much of the film appears to have one eye on future sequels, as evidenced by the presence of the mysterious Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) and sultry spy Nastasha Romanova (Scarlett Johansson).

Despite not being the marked improvement that was hoped for, remember just how much the original exceeded expectations the first time around, and that this still does exactly what it says on the tin. If you don't mind all the not-so-subtle Marvel references, think of this as a 7.

Steve Wright

6.

StreetDance 3D Dir: Max Giwa Cast: Flawless, Diversity, George Sampson

S

treedance 3D is the UK’s first 3D film, and earns big points for services to attitude driven dance, eye candy and keeping former Britain's Got Talent stars in work. But unfortunately, while one hand gives the other takes away with an excess of cringworthy moments, a predictable storyline and terrible acting.

''The dancing is, in places, breath-taking" The film follows a struggling London streetdance crew when the main man, and other half of unbelievable lead character Carly (Nichola Burley) walks out, leaving

her choreographer and boyfriendless. Across town, dance teacher Helena (Charlotte Rampling) is struggling with a group of wooden ballet dancers, and longs to inject some fire into their performances.

A twist of sandwich-shaped fate throws Carly and Helena together and many tears, dance offs, fight, love triangles later (as well as a spot of inspiration from Diversity), a new ballet/streetdance crew, 'Breaking Point', is formed and are slated to compete at the UK championships against current champions 'The Surge' (Flawless).

Off course they must come a cropper somehow, but luckily that cheeky chappy George Sampson, sorry Eddie, is on hand to save the day.

The dancing is in places breathtaking, but the rest is far from it. I especially enjoy that it takes Carly two thirds of the way through to ask: 'What, combine street dance with ballet?' Yes, obviously. Have you not seen Save the Last Dance? Call yourself a street dance fan. Tut. Definitely no boundaries broken with this film, but bless 'em, they tried.

Amy Hall

5.

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BEST FILM FOR...

... making

you imagine

evil, disgusting things Se7en (1995) After a sour stint directing Alien 3, David Fincher brazenly declared that he would ‘rather have colon cancer than direct another picture.’

This might have been an exaggeration, but his rebuttal against the soulless domains of mainstream cinema was almost as sinister.

Se7en, a delightfully dark trudge through the underworld of homicide investigation, was the film that transformed Fincher from 'the guy that ruined the Alien franchise' to 'fearless auteur and heavyweight director'. Morgan Freeman and Brad Pitt play Somerset and Mills, a duo of detectives on the case of an exceptionally sadistic serial killer.

Basing his murders on the seven deadly sins, the murderer (callously depicted by Kevin Spacey) inflicts bowel-shattering acts of violence on his victims. But unlike later ‘tortureporn’ flicks like Saw and Hostel, we’re always just a little too late to watch the gore fly, arriving at each crime-scene only to witness an unmercifully mutilated body. It’s a testament to the director that this feels just as gruesome, and if you’re not reeling with repulsion as the endcredits roll, you should probably see a psychiatrist or something.

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…inspiring an '80s movieathon St. Elmo's Fire (1985) If, like me, you often find yourself wishing that you owned the DeLorean from Back To The Future in order to live in a time when Facebook didn’t govern your social life, this coming-of-age classic might be up your street. Featuring a giant cast of eighties all-stars – Demi Moore, Rob Lowe, Andie MacDowell, three fifths of The Breakfast Club and other Brat Pack regulars – this is an unnervingly relevant tale of university graduates meeting the real world. Although it’s a welcome change from the usual high-school setting that most films of this genre and period rely on, St. Elmo’s Fire still manages to capture that essential reluctant-to-grow-up vibe, as its protagonists struggle in coming to terms with things like small houses and crap day jobs, life without your parent’s bank account to fall back on and…you know, love and stuff.

It also happens to have a cracking soundtrack, perfectly capturing that synth-meets-sax sound of the era; this alone should have you scouring HMV for nostalgic ‘80s box sets and retro compilation CDs.

... justifying the crush you had on your teacher Rushmore (1998) This quirky little number stars Jason Schwartzman as the precocious, beret-wearing Max Fischer, by far the most troubling of Rushmore Elementary’s exceedingly intellectual studentship. Although his creative flair for playwriting and extensive extra-curricular pursuits make him a legend among his peers, Max struggles to cope with the pressures of academia, particularly with the distraction of eye-candy in the form of new teacher, Rosemary Cross (Olivia Williams). As he fights for her affection against the unlikely rival of Herman Blume, a depressed millionaire played by Bill Murray, it’s difficult to know whether to laugh or pull your eyes out – whether its feigning a car accident, building an aquarium or resuscitating the dying subject of Latin (which he hates…), Max will go to any length to get the girl. The whole thing is hilariously awkward and weird and you might not know what to make of it the first time you see it… but by the end, you’ll at least be able to conclude that ‘sic transit gloria, gloria fades.’

Whatever that means.

Matt Ayres

listings

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Listings Chapter Arts Institute 2nd June may Wednesday The Lash Summer Beach 24th- Party.

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