Quench - Issue 96

Los Campesinos!

Razor sharp fashion with Summer ball stars - Gay pride - The Welsh Baftas - Ripley and Ripley, photographers to the stars + Music

contents:

Issue 96 // June 7th - 21th

VOYEUR ROBBIE BLIND DATE FEATURES GAY FOOD INTERVIEWS p. 28 PHOTOS p. 33

TRAVEL FASHION INTERVIEWS PHOTOS BOOKS ARTS MUSIC FILM

Cover photo: Chris Griffiths Cover design: Simon Lucey

LISTINGS

04 06 07 08 12 14 17 21 28 33 39 45 48 63 71

Editor Simon Lucey Executive Editor Emma Jones Assistant to the Editors Elaine Morgan Arts Amelia Forsbrook, Natalie Stone, Blind Date Sarah Kilby, Caroline Baldwin Books Emma Pocklington Fashion Emily Cater, Kate Eaton, Oli Franklin, Liz Foggitt Features Ellie Woodward, Sarah George Film Lloyd Griffiths, Jody Tozer, Steve Wright Food Harriet Davies, Hayley Pyper Gay Lucas Owen Going Out Jack Doran Interviews Tom Rouse Listings Tom Rouse Music Sam Smith, Phil Guy, Si Roach Photos Jake Yorath, Liz Foggitt Travel Dom Kehat, Paul Stollery Proof Readers, Oli Franklin, Tom Rouse

voyeur

IN

OUT Soldiers: Pricey, whingey, and inefficient.

S

tyle is a difficult thing to quantify. Those that want it usually donʼt have it, those that donʼt care about it often come by it easily. King Louisʼ Collective and The School, two of Cardiffʼs ne bands set to light up the summer ball, definitely fall into the later category.

This week Quench HQ decided to hand the fashion-reins over to these fresh-faced style icons of tomorrow, giving them a free remit to do as they want.

Check the results out yourself, but these young radicals obviously have an eye for the new and creative, as is reflected in their distinct sounds.

A band further up the line to stardom, but also originally studying at this fair city and effortlessly cool, paid us a visit earlier in the week. Los Campesinos! tore up a packed out Solus crowd before letting us in on the best way to avoid paying off student loans - forming a band. Turn to page 29 for details.

Capturing style is often as difficult as creating it, something that the infamous Ripley & Ripley photography outfit know well. At the top of their field, Ripley & Ripley are responsible for some of the most iconic images of the Beckhams, Radiohead and Lewis Hamilton. We caught up with the photography gurus for a chat and shared some pretty pictures. Get involved.

SL Many thanks to the epic Quench team ʻ09-ʻ10 for an awesome year.

Itʼd be impossible without you all, and you are all stunning.

04 / voyeur@gairrhydd.com

Crazy killer cats: Cheap, no fuss, and fucking mental.

dom tish ba jolly humorous stuff An executive was in a quandary. He had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work. He finally decided that in the morning whichever one used the water cooler first would have to go. Debra came in the next morning, hugely hung-over after partying all night. She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin and the executive approached her and said: “Debra, I’ve never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off.”

Debra replied, “Could you jack off, I have a terrible headache.”

dictionary corner on the buzzer with student filth

Podestrian: A person who can be spotted with the iconic white standard iPod earbuds in their ears.

I nearly ran over a podestrian today.

Voyeur

voyeur

What would Beyoncé do?

Dear Beyoncé, is beautiful, clever and a fantastic new girlfriend. She I am fortunate enough to have hing problem for which I crus a e with her. However I hav funny and I enjoy every mommet need your advice. or water her garden so her fancy. I can’t wet her whistle For you see, I struggle to tickle wet. I feel impotent, powerhic but, well, this bitch can’t get to speak. I don’t want to be grap uty? to satisfy such a radiant bea less to her desires. How can I fail w what it feels like to as a woman who must surely kno é, onc Bey you So I am writing to s Jay-Z. Beyoncé mou macho, rugged husband - the infa be entirely satisfied given your hit the G-spot?

I do How an? wom how can I satisfy my please let me know his secret, Many Thanks, Gareth Dear Gareth, r who failed to cut the musare in. I remember one young love I know the predicament that you dable solution. I later took tard and we found a simple, affor my popular songin et secr our the time to share t you.

Single Ladies. Don’t say I don’t trea a ring on it put have ld shou If you liked it then you put a ring have ld shou you then it liked If you on it he want it Don’t be mad once you see that put a ring have ld If you liked it then you shou on it Regards, Beyoncé.

r Disclaimer: Cock rings have neve been proven to locate G-spots but dy in past experience they do a bloo good job of trying.

voyeur@gairrhydd.com / 05

robbie

ITs all gone to S**t Robbie Wells finishes the year off as he started, ranting, often illogically and unfoundedly at the world around him.

A

pologies to the loyal reader of this column (hi proofreader!) but I was on holiday last issue and couldn't find time to complain about something.

I went to Ibiza (not that you asked), but not quite the Ibiza that most of you will know. Where I went, there were more blue rinses than at a Smurf Roast. But it was a much needed rest from the hectic schedule of waking up at midday, lounging in the sun and drinking.

Sorry to those of you who still have exams; try a degree in Journalism.

But as it's the last issue, and indeed my last column, just one topic would be insufficient. So I'm going to scour the news and spout off opinions until I reach my word limit. Good journalism? I think so.

The latest thing to have furrowed the brows of right wingers/ wangers is social networking site, FitFinder. I say social networking, but it's more of a lonely hearts for the digital age, a way of declaring attraction without the awkward routine of actually speaking to them.

Personally I think it's beautiful. Put me in front of a girl and I'll look at the ground, mumble, pull her hair then run off shouting "Ew, girl cooties!". Give me the written word and I'm my own Cicero.

Eye to eye contact is way too overrated. You can now find a girl on FitFinder, add her on MSN, make her your Facebook bride

and then keep in touch on dates through BBM. The sooner we can transfer sperm files through a USB stick, the sooner we can get over this silly ritual of sex.

Next up is politics. Now, anyone who's read this column once will know I like the Tories as much as I like herpes; just when you think they're gone they come back twice as bad. (I'm going to clarify now, I don't actually have herpes, it is merely metaphor at its most sensationalist. Well, not its MOST sensationalist, I was going to do a gag about Hitler and Elliott Gould.

Probably a good job I steered clear of that).

"All we really need to care about is football."

Apparently big Dave Cam, as he probably likes to be called, wants to feel like a real human being, and doesn't want security guarding him every second. This seems in keeping with a man who has so little self awareness that he once declared himself a big fan of the Jam's 'Eton Rifles'. That he doesn't recognise how much of a target he is, is quite cute and almost ad-

06 / robbie@gairrhydd.com

mirable that he doesn't want to be seen as superior. It's definitely an attempt to be seen as everyman, and I like it. And if it does prove to be a mistake then we get Nick Clegg as PM. Win win!

In the sporting world, football is about to take over. 'Can England win the World Cup?', every tabloid questions. Of course they CAN, whether they will, who can say?

If you're going to do predictions on ability then England won't win, but if you're making a prediction on any possibilities, then New Zealand CAN also win it. The second England beat the USA, it'll be the greatest team since '66, but as soon as they lose to Slovakia there will be cries to deny the 23 players citizenry back into the country.

There's never more passion, more love and hatred in the country as there is for four weeks of a World Cup. That's why football is the beautiful game. That and because of the attractiveness of the players, such as James Milner; now there's a jaw worthy of a statue (on Easter Island).

The things that I’ve neglected to mention are that technology is taking away our humanity, terrorism and war are still a big concern and with financial meltdown at a mind boggling level and without a really stable government, all we really need to care about is football.

Just the way I like it.

blind date

Blind Date

Damian

1. What did you do to get ready?

Pot noodle and a wank. Standard.

2. What was the highlight of the date?

When she showed off her amazing ball skills.

Quite frankly I’ve never experienced anything like it.

“I’d fuck her, then marry her, then chuck her” 3. If they were an animal what would they be and why?

An aye-aye, they are lemurs with rodent like teeth and a long thin middle finger.

4. Most embarrassing moment?

Finding out we’d worn the same thing was a bit of a fashion nightmare!

5. So will you be meeting up again?

Maybe, but I wish she’d stop going on and on about sport all the time.

6. And as always, chuck, fuck or marry?

I’d fuck her, then marry her, then chuck her.

LuCy

1. What did you do to get ready?

I had a glass of wine to ease the nerves!

2. What was the highlight of the date?

Well I’ve definitely got a better understanding of the British political system.

3. If they were an animal what would they be and why?

Labrador - soft, cuddly, and I could walk all over him.

4. Most embarrassing moment?

When he asked me what my favourite type of fish was.

5. So will you be meeting up again?

Yes, but only if he could come up with some new conversation.

6. And as always, chuck, fuck or marry?

He wouldn’t stop talking about politics, which I hate, so I’m afraid I’d have to say chuck.

blinddate@gairrhydd.com / 07

features

I CAN'T GET NO SLEEP

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features

Have you ever wondered if your lack of sleep could be down to something more serious than the stress of student life? Claire Travers dicusses the condition insomnia and its lack of awareness.

I

suffer from Chronic Insomnia, a condition which has grown from a lifetime of violent nightmares and irregular sleep patterns. Just writing that in a public forum feels like I am admitting to a disease or addiction. It is a terrible and lonely situation to be in. There is a distinct feeling of being trapped in one’s own head. The concept of time becomes blurred, as days run into one another, so many sun rises and sun sets, and almost unbroken consciousness. The times I do sleep are brief and dominated by violent nightmares. I ache in places that do not even have a name and constantly feel on the brink of collapse. The result is both physiologically and psychologically draining.

I am writing this article because, after years of fighting with this disorder and the hopelessness it brings with it, I realise there is relatively little said about it.

Through the years, feeling trapped and alone, there seems to be no end, no light at the end of the tunnel and so one explaining how I can get through this problem. After coming to university, I am shocked that it is not talked about more, after all students seem to have the most sporadic sleeping patterns!

Insomnia can be merely restlessness during the night or an inability to get back to sleep after waking. The side effects are usually headaches, constant weariness and an inability to concentrate. A fellow insomniac claims that ‘everyday is a battle to stay focused on the tasks at hand, sometimes just finding the motivation to go to a lecture can be tough’. This might sound like an average problem for a student, maybe after a heavy night or early on a Monday morning. Indeed every student seems to go through periods of interrupted sleep, usually self-inflicted with the help of beer and vodka. But what if this was your usual state of

being? Chronic Insomnia is usually characterised by the complete lack of continuous or deep sleep for more than 4 weeks. It carries with it much more severe symptoms and side-effects, akin to those of ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and psychosis.

In some cases hallucinations or ‘waking dreams’, severe muscle aches, memory loss and hand tremors can be a day to day battle.

It makes studying incredibly hard.

One would think with all the hours I spend up when the rest of the campus sleeps, I would get more done than others, but in reality I can’t even look at a page of writing without having a migraine set in. It is not uncommon for this to develop into depression if nothing is done. So is there any support offered by the student body as a whole?

"There is little to no support available, probably because not much is known about the disorder itself " There is little to no support or information available, probably because not much is known about the disorder itself. Although sleeplessness can be a symptom of other problems, like recreational drugs, alcohol and stress, persistent insomnia is a disorder in itself.

Yet there is not as much research or media representation done on this problem as depression, anorexia and even narcolepsy; so is student insomnia a ‘back of the

closet’ issue, and is it being over looked as a serious disability?

Certainly Universities do not seem to view it as a disability. It is not covered by the DSA (Disabled Student Allowance) and the Student Support Centre is not equipped to assess sleep problems for students. There is no research or subject specific counselling available. In fact one could suggest this breaks the Disability Discrimination Act of 1995. In general this Act merely protects students from discrimination, but amendments made in 2005 means that the public authorities have a positive duty to promote equal opportunities.

This obligation would include, for example, a student in a wheelchair having access to disabled parking and entrance to all buildings on campus. It would mean that a dyslexic student could ask for extra time in exams to ‘level the playing field’. But no provisions are made for students seriously affected by insomnia, for example, use of a computer for serious hand tremors or special physiotherapy for severe muscle pains.

Perhaps more than helping with the side-effects, we might see more representation of the disorder itself. When you are dealing with Chronic Insomnia it feels like there is no end, no way to deal with it; but when the student body starts to recognise the disorder, students might feel less isolated.

An open discussion is an invaluable thing. I hope that this article can be the first step towards this.

The students feeling trapped in a sleepless world need not be alone. There is a way to live with Insomnia but it cannot be done in silence.

For more information regarding Insomnia, visit the NHS website, or if you would like to contact someone regarding your troubles with sleeping, contact Nightline on 02920 870555.

features@gairrhydd.com / 09

features

NoFit

State

Circus Lucy Trevallion takes the stage at the NoFit State Circus' masterclass day and explores a different option to the gym.

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features

W

ho needs the gym? For me, after ten minutes on the treadmill I'm bored, and already daydreaming of all the things I'd rather be doing. After 2010's gym sesh number two my stubborness kicked in: I refuse to be bored working out. If the gym has the same effect on you, grab some ridiculously large trainers and follow me to the circus.

Twenty three years ago Nofit State Circus started with five students who were determined not to don a suit and get a grown-up job. These friends had a passion for juggling that ended them up in trouble, as one recalls, “I was a physio student frequently getting told off for juggling oranges to cheer patients up”. So they decided to do something about it. The road to success was certainly muddy: “Each spring we'd rehearse in a muddy field in Bridgend, and be on the road from May to September, for exciting heady days of freedom.” But with a little help from their friends they won Welsh Community Business of the year' in 1987. “We were skint but we blagged, borrowed and improvised to create shows” says Executive Director Alison Woods. Now Nofit has performed in 37 cities in 10 countries to a whopping audience of over 181,000! Nofit State is now proud to be the UK's leading large-scale contemporary circus company, and offers us a chance to get involved.

Even though its called Nofit State Circus I figured I should arrive minus a Sunday morning hangover and headed out of a strangely barren Talybont South.

After accidently walking into two chapels mid-Sunday service in my jogging bottoms I found the Harry Potter-esque chapel and headed up the stairs feeling a little nervous. The huge hall, complete with stained glass windows, seemed the perfect set. However, seeing a mass of harnesses, unicycles and metal human hamster wheel, I felt more than a little daunted.

STATIC TRAPEZE

TIGHTWIRE

Our first exercise was the one I was most feared and was most excited about. After being put in a group with someone who did it before (good way to make us look bad right?) and hearing the position called a 'birds nest' my tension grew.

Not only does it increase upper body strength as you pull yourself up with your arms, it's also good for toning the abdominal muscles.

Recent polls found the body part women are most self-conscious about is their tums, so the trapeze could certainly be of use.

However it also uses muscles that are not accustomed to being used. One of our teachers and the education officer Lynn Carroll says, “Often learners have not been upside down since they were children and can become disorientated when they first try.” This happened to me as I landed back on earth, and the mat.

Everyone's seen highwire at the circus, when someone walks across the top of the circus from a ridiculous height. I was always the girl clinging on to her seat and gasping at every step. Tightwire is like highwire's less scary younger sister, exactly the same but not as high. “As with all circus skills, nothing is practiced 'at height' until the learner feels safe and totally competent.”

Lynn says 'it is good for core strength and posture, and of course balance.' We begun working out the technique on the floor: find the wire with your toes, foot down, other foot out to the side and repeat. By looking at a fixed point in front of you, your balance improves.

JUGGLING Our next exercise was juggling, and everyone can guess what we had to do for this class, right?

Chucking a few balls in a circle and catching them. Wrong. I was shocked when we were handed scarves not balls. I'm a huge fan of the winter accessory but didn't know how they would get me fit.

Juggling scarves can actually prevent diseases like multiple sclerosis in the long term, by improving brain power. After excessive student drinking, juggling may be the perfect remedy. It also improves hand/eye coordination, great for sports such as basketball, since 'it involves rhythm and timing... often appealing to musicians,' says Lynn.

Anyway, back to the scarves.

Using three scarves we learnt the basic cascade pattern of juggling.

As the scarves fall slower than balls it allows your co ordination to improve gradually.

ACRO BALANCE I admit I had never heard of acro balance before, but it is the exercise when you use your fellow learners' weight to balance in order to create shapes and pyramids.

We started by getting in pairs and using our partners weight to stand up and sit down, by turning back to back and focusing all our weight on our shoulders. We then learnt how to grip each other safely in a way that doesn't hurt. It was strange to see how just an inch difference in where you put your foot can mean the difference between a bruised back and a people pyramid.

I didn't feel like I was sweating away pounds but its great for trust, balance, and will gradually strengthen your muscles.

I left my own version of a Sunday morning cleansing feeling toned and refreshed; the entire group was grinning, planning our next classes. Unicycling hockey anyone?

To plan your class or for more information visit http://www.nofitstate.org

features@gairrhydd.com / 11

gay

SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS

Lectures are over, you’ve chosen your Dorothy and the sun has got his fabulous new Prada hat on. This means only one thing... Lucas Owen previews gay summer 2010.

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gay

B

ooze, beaches and boys with no tops on – it can only be the summer!

When our pens go down and the lecturers get packed away in storage until the autumn, it’s the best time of year for at-a-glance perving across hazy urban parks.

To help you achieve this, there are plenty of Mardi Gras and Gay Pride events dotted all over the U.K. for gay boys and girls to get out, get pissed and get it on with the locals.

Cardiff’s own annual Mardi Gras event is scheduled to take place over the first weekend of September, so if you’re back in town early get yourself down to Cooper’s Field and we’ll hopefully have as much sunshine as we did in 2009.

There’s a funfair, all-day dance tents, millions of stalls and a stage showcasing local performers, but if you’d rather sit on the grass getting drunk, there’s plenty of beer and naff wine available too.

Mardi Gras and Pride events are all about feeling like part of the community, so however you identify your sexuality you can guarantee a good day out. 2010’s event will be the eleventh held in Cardiff and about 40,000 people from all over the country are expected to be in attendance. Big events like these are always looking for volunteers so contact the organisers now to get involved.

This year’s celebrations will be preceded by a week of sporting events, performances and films to promote a special sporting theme to this year’s Mardi Gras. Nigel Owens and Gareth Thomas are both big names in Welsh rugby and, as out and proud sportsmen, are supporting the events. If you’re hoping to get a beach body but

can’t bear the thought of the gym, Cardiff’s gay and lesbian football and rugby clubs will be taking part in the weekend and are always looking for new players. Despite Cardiff City failing to move up to football’s Premier League this year, there’ll be plenty of worldclass talent on show in the city from August onwards!

If you’re planning on arriving back in Cardiff late enough to miss your first round of lectures you might instead want to check out a local Pride event. In the past these were the reserve of big cities like Manchester and London, but now take place all over the country in diverse places like Bradford, Plymouth and Norwich.

“There is plenty of cheap beer and naff wine available.”

A quick browse around the internet should tell you exactly where to go and when and events like these are normally free. If you get the chance to attend one of these events you should take it with both hands because it’s easy to take for granted that we live in a country where it’s okay to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, or whatever.

If you happen to be lucky and staying in the ‘Diff over the summer, perhaps it’s worth going on a little ride to the west and visit the lovely neighbouring Swansea on the 26th June? Happening in Lacrosse Field in Singleton Park, Swansea Pride offers a variety of bands and a number of DJs to get

your summer feet grooving, including those who call the capital’s venues their homes: Jamie H, Tom Logan, and Nigel T. There will also be performances by X Factor Finalists and the ever-popular Lady Gaga Experience. This seemingly tiny event should act as the perfect warm-up to set you right in the mood for more fun times to come both in Bristol and Cardiff!

Bristol is not short of LGBT happenings either, giving us a whole week of fun! Bristol’s wonderful Pride experience will stretch out from 14th to 22nd August; with the main event taking place on the 21st. This will include a parade walk across the city centre to Castle Park and a loud night out after guaranteed. There are more details to come, so make sure you keep up to date on if you’re planning on going. What you definitely can expect, apart from the usual party club nights schedule, are community events, talks, various performances and film showings during the week.

Talking about LGBT summer cinema offerings, keep an eye on what the good old Chapter Arts Centre is planning to present us with this summer because there is a lovely lot. They’ll be keeping us happy with a variety of films you absolutely cannot afford to miss, including Eyes Wide Open and Lion’s Den (both Cannes selections). There are also comedy nights - Sheri D Sutton’s hilarious Don’t Make Fun of Jesus about growing up as a white, gay Baptist Christian in the American South looks especially promising, amongst many others cultural must-sees. This all adds up to make Chapter the summer place to be if you fancy a quiet and chilled-out night out.

gay@gairrhydd.com / 13

food

WASTE NOT, WANT NOT! Got a random assortment of food cluttering your fridge at the end of the year? Don’t worry, Harriet Davies has come up with some recipe ideas to help you use up all that leftover cupboard food.

I

t’s the end of term, and (most) exams are over... your fridge space is probably prioritised by beer, and your cupboard leftovers uninspiring.

But, when it gets to move-out week, do not feel that you have to

throw away all those random bits of long-life food that you’ve shifted to the back of your cupboard or freezer all year... they could help to make something amazing. Based on some careful observations, I’ve come up with a few recipes that

may help to use up some of the standard leftover ‘cupboard food’ that students seem to collect over time. So have a browse around the kitchen, get your housemates involved, and get experimental...

ANYTHING-GOES RISOTTO · Any kind of rice · Any kind of stock cube · A splash of leftover wine/cider (optional) · Spoon of butter/margarine/oil · Any kind of chopped up root veg · Leftover sausage/ham/chicken/ beef 1. Make up a couple of stock cubes in a litre of boiling water

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2.Heat the oil/butter in a deep pan, add the rice (a handful per person) and stir for one minute.

3. If using, add a glug of booze and give it a couple of minutes to boil down.

4. Ladle-by-ladle, add the stock and allow the rice to soak it up each time you add more. When the rice looks creamy and is soft to eat, it’s ready.

5. Fry up some chopped up root vegetables in a pan until soft, add the bits of meat and heat through for a few minutes.

6. Stir the meat and veg into the rice, season with salt and pepper, sprinkle cheese on top if you like, and serve.

food

ANYTHING-GOES BATTER ·120g any kind of flour · 2 eggs · 200ml milk · Butter/oil for greasing or frying 1. Sift the flour into a bowl.

2. Crack the eggs into the middle of the flour and whisk them in, slowly incorporating the flour from the edges until it creates a stiff dough.

3. Add the milk a bit at a time and keep whisking as you go, until the mixture is thick enough to coat a wooden spoon.

4. For pancakes, fry in a pan.

5. For Yorkshire pudding, season the batter with salt and pepper, grease a baking tray and pour in mixture. Bake in the oven at 200 degrees for 15 minutes, or until golden and crispy on top.

6. For something different: chop up apples and put in a greased baking tray, pour over honey and the batter, bake in the oven at 180 degrees for 20 minutes. Serve with that leftover tin of custard.

7. Or... you could always try and batter your own sausage... (not recommended).

USEFUL WHITE SAUCE ·Flour ·Spoonful of Butter/Margarine ·Milk 1. Melt the butter in a saucepan, but don’t let it go brown.

2. Add a heaped spoonful of flour and whisk in with the butter to form a paste.

3. Immediately, add milk a splash at a time and keep whisking.

4. The sauce should thicken up quickly. Keep adding milk until the sauce reaches your desired thickness, and then take it off the heat.

If it’s too thin, let it boil and it will thicken immediately.

5. Meal idea: season with salt and pepper, mix with cooked chicken/ ham and sweetcorn. Serve with rice or pasta.

6. Meal idea: add a handful of cheese to the sauce, pour over cauliflower/broccoli in a baking tray and cook in the oven for 15 minutes for cauliflower cheese.

7. Meal idea: pour over pasta and tinned tuna and bake in the oven.

BRAISED VEGETABLES AND LETTUCE WITH BACON ·1 chopped onion ·2 rashers of bacon, chopped (optional, but important for flavour) ·All your leftover frozen vegetables – peas work especially well ·1 lettuce/bag of lettuce leaves ·Teaspoon of mustard ·Any stock cube 1. Fry the onion and the bacon bits with a little oil until the bacon is crispy.

2. Make up a stock with 300ml

boiling water and two stock cubes, add it to the saucepan.

3. Add all the frozen veggies and allow to boil for five minutes.

4. Tear off the lettuce leaves and add to the pan, then push them under the liquid with a spoon.

5. Allow to simmer on a low heat for ten minutes, then stir in the mustard.

6. Season with salt and pepper and serve! Great with parmesan on top if you have any.

food@gairrhydd.com / 15

food

SPICY MEXICAN BAKED BEAN SOUP ·1 tin of baked beans ·1 chopped onion ·2 potatoes ·Any kind of stock cube ·Cumin powder/chilli con carne cook-in powder ·Paprika/chilli powder (optional) ·Cooking oil/butter 1. Heat a spoon of oil/butter in a saucepan, add the onion and cook until soft.

Add a teaspoon of chilli powder/paprika here if desired.

2. Chop the potatoes and sauté with the onion for a few minutes.

3. Add 300ml boiled water to two stock cubes until dissolved, add to saucepan.

4. Add ¾ of the tin of beans and cook over a low heat for 15 minutes.

5. Add two teaspoons cumin/chilli con carne powder and stir.

6. Blitz the soup with a hand-held liquidiser or put it in a blender.

7. Season with salt and pepper to taste, and add the rest of the tin of beans to garnish.

BUBBLE AND SQUEAK ·2 potatoes, cooked and mashed (or leftover mashed potatoes/roast potatoes) ·Cabbage, chopped up ·1 onion, chopped ·Any leftover frozen/tinned vegetables ·Any leftover cooked meat/tinned meat or fish ·Butter/oil

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1. Cook cabbage in boiling salted water for ten minutes (add other frozen/ tinned veggies after five minutes).

2. Drain and mix in with the mash potato. Season with salt and pepper and a spoon of butter.

3. In a pan, heat the oil/butter and fry the onion until soft. Add any leftover meat, tinned meat, or fish and sauté for a few minutes.

4. Add the potato and veggie mixture and press down into the pan with the back of a wooden spoon to form a flat cake.

5. Cook for five minutes on a medium heat, then carefully flip over and cook the other side for a further five minutes.

6. Serve with an egg for an amazing hangover cure.

travel

IN F BRITA BEST O

Horribly stereotyped in the most negative way, Greg Rees dares to investigate what really lies just outside the safe confines of Cardiff.

A

h, the South Wales Valleys. Now having decided to study at Cardiff, you will have heard of these mystical, mysterious hills and dales.

Yet you may have been cautious about exploring the heartland of South Wales. Too steep to walk around, perhaps? Not enough thrills? Or maybe it’s the thought of the sheep that puts you off? Never fear, because whatever the stereotypes, there’s plenty to see and do in the Valleys.

The Valleys’ arguably describes everything between Swansea and Newport, with Merthyr in the north and Bridgend in the south and is undeniably beautiful area. Rugged, wild bits that would provide wonderful backdrops to Hollywood epics (if there weren’t strings of Redrow homes blocking some of the view) with pretty little villages.

If you can imagine South Wales as the invading Romans did (i.e. without all the man-made crap), then you’ll be seriously struck by the beauty of the place.

For the music fan, why not make a pilgrimage to the hometowns of your favourite stars? The

Manic Street Preachers, Lostprophets and Stereophonics are home-grown Valleyites, from (near) Blackwood, Pontypridd, and Aberdare respectively. Aberdare itself is a nice little town. You can get an ice-cream dead cheap there. Ideal.

Highlights to consider: Merthyr Tydfil - Ah, glorious Merthyr! It often gets a bad press in the nationals, but it’s not that bad. Honest. It has a fine selection of shops and cafes, some excellent rough pubs, and a cinema. Ooh, and Castle Bingo. . .

"It has a rugby club. . .. and a park" Treherbert - If you’ve ever caught a train from Central to Cathays, chances are its destination was Treherbert. It lies right at the end of the Rhondda Valley, quite near to both Aberdare and Merthyr.

It has a rugby club and a park. I went there once. An old man stole a sip of my can of pop. I soon went home again. But it’s quite a nice

place.

Cwmbran - arguably the finest shopping experience in the UK. Oxford Street? Fuck that! The Arndale? Bollocks to it. In Cwmbran, you get out of your car or a bus (both are parkable in the centre of town), and you’re right in the middle of the action. Within a seven-to-ten minute walk there is a cacophony of shops, restaurants, cafes, chippies, pubs, cinemas, and not just one but two huge town centre supermarkets.

The proximity of everything to everything means that even the most lardarsed layabout can have a good time in Cwmbran, and not even break a sweat.

The South Wales Valleys are a varied, wonderful place to spend time. For those of you who can’t quite understand the mellifluous tones of the local accents, or fear the onset of manic sheep in the streets, then stay in Cardiff, you lightweights! If you’ve got the balls, go forth and bask in the glory of the Valleys. Overhear a conversation between two old battleaxes on a bus. Chat to a beggar in fancy dress. Drink White Storm in a local park. Enjoy.

travel@gairrhydd.com / 17

travel

S

South America

outh America is a continent filled with diversity. With the lush rainforest of the Amazon Basin at its centre and the mountainous Andes which snake up its Eastern side, South America holds a world of possibility.

Peru’s modern cities are complimented by its natural abundance. The four day Inca trail is one of thirty possible trek routes which stretch across the Peruvian Mountains. This particularly famous hike leads to Machu Picchu, an Inca ruin built on the inside edge of a mountain. The trek exposes you to contemporary and ancient culture as it leads you from tropical farm filled valleys to bare craggy mountain tops, from cloud forests and into firefly filled ruins. Bolivia also provides this reverting back to basics, especially on Lake Titicaca. This huge and beautiful expanse of water sits at an altitude of almost 4000m. It stretches from Peru to Bolivia and some of its islands offer home stays with local tribes.

Overall South America has almost too much to offer for one trip, if you want cheap and basic head for Bolivia and Peru, if you want a cosmopolitan experience I would recommend the up and coming delights of Argentina. Clare Baranowski

B

Australia

ikini? Check. Havaianas? Check. Four bottles of Factor 20, and two (just in case you lose one) garish ‘I love Sydney’ T-shirts?

If you haven’t managed to squeeze the latter into your backpack, don’t worry, I’m pretty sure you’ll be able to pick them up when you’re Down Under.

The key thing is not to be over prepared. Oz is a backpacker’s hotspot, in nearly every hostel there is bound to be a traveller with a camper van and an extra space who will be going your way. So resist the temptation of planning your trip from A to B. If you’re worried about transport and cost; you’ll probably save money and make more memories by letting your hair down and seeing where the warm Australian wind takes you.

On the other hand, do plan to go to a few festivals or make the effort to see some local bands. Oz is home to an eclectic mix of music artists and you’d be mad to miss out. Grab a TNT, the free backpackers magazine which you’ll find in any good hostel. It lists a huge array of music events from the popular weekend festival ‘Womadelaide’ in Adelaide, to the more intimate gigs in culture rich Melbourne. Simone Miche

18 / travel@gairrhydd.com

Our top tips for first time travellers 1. Read in advance! Being prepared can really make life a lot easier. First Time Around the World; A Rough Guide is a really great book for travelling.

2. Get Skype, it’s a cheap easy way to stay in touch.

3. Don’t be a slave to plans. If you hear a good recommendation of a place to go, go! If you love a place so much you want to stay, stay! Travelling is in no way about fitting everything in one trip, but rather about enjoying your time to the full, so do it your way!

travel

First time travel

Thinking of seeing the world for the first time this summer? Travel takes you through some of the most popular options.

Europe

F

or getting around Europe, the Interrail Pass train ticket is great and allows you to fit in lots of countries and be really flexible with your route. Night-trains are a fun new experience and as long as you don’t mind slightly cramped sleeping conditions are a cost-effective alternative to youth hostels.

Camping is another cheap alternative (or free if you decide to risk pitching somewhere random!) and carrying a small tent is not a big deal. Eastern Europe could be seen as ‘the road less travelled’ by the masses of backpacking students, so I would recommend it for a culture that differs from our own more than the familiar Western European countries.

Every European country has its highlights, but here’s a quick taster; the Sacre Coeur is amazing and looks out over the whole of Paris. The Orthodox Church in Sofia, capital of Bulgaria, is impressive inside and out.

Zlaté Piesky camp site in Bratislava, Slovakia, has a lake, is a bargain and strangely very near a massive Tesco! Cinque Terra in northern Italy attracts lots of tourists but it’s obvious why – the tiny towns stacked on cliff edges sit above bright blue sea, it’s like living in a postcard photo for a couple of days! Europe has loads to offer for anyone. Martha Partridge

India

I

ndia is a rich, intense country, bursting with character. With the vast difference in culture to our own, some may believe it to be a brave first travelling experience. Although not for the fainthearted, I found arriving in Delhi on no sleep an exhilarating experience.

It is a country of epic contrasts, in six weeks I barely got a sense of the huge nation. Every area I visited had a distinct character, making it a great place to visit as your first trip. From the hectic throng of the capital city, you can easily escape the craziness on reasonably priced sleeper trains. I found the further north I travelled the more beautiful the country became. The Tibetan influence in Hamachal Pradesh proved a welcome change of pace, a wealth of friendly people to help and advise you. Further north still, the war-torn region of Kashmir, an incredible juxtaposition of social chaos and natural beauty.

I couldn’t recommend India enough, it is a beautiful and thought provoking place. Indeed, it’s also great for the traveller strapped for cash, flights can be booked for under £300 with some of the cheapest living expenses in the world. Chris Griffiths

travel@gairrhydd.com / 19

Introducing

fashion

It’s formal season, and with the Summer Ball fast approaching, Fashion presents the bands with the sound and style that will be setting the stage alight on June 11.

CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: Edd wears grey two button suit, £125.

Jake wears shirt, suspenders, and floral bowtie. Chloe wears one shouldered dress, £50.00, by Topshop. Tom wears grey three-piece suit, £125, all by Topman.

20 / fashion@gairrhydd.com

fashion

King Louis’ Collective I Photos and Words by Oli Franklin

f you haven’t heard King Louis’ Collective’s music, here’s all you need to know: they’re named after the monkey king in The Jungle Book.

And this summer, they will be funking up the Summer Ball, trombones in hand, dressed to kill.

If that isn’t enough, you can now check the Cardiff jazz/ska/funk/brilliance ensemble out on Spotify and iTunes – a testiment to the growing profile of Cardiff’s most exciting new talents. The aptly named Collective is led by the

sultry-voiced Chloe (vocals) and made up of Jake (guitar), Edd (trumpet), Tom (trombone), Ben (bass), Paul (keys), Phil (guitar), and Ben (drums) and, trust us, they are going to blow your summery minds come June 11.

So to get ready for Coopers Field, we dressed the group in the latest formal fashion (with a few little KLC inspired twists) to give you a few ideas of how to look your best on the night.

King Louis Collective’s ‘Tea and Toast demo’ is out now on iTunes.

fashion@gairrhydd.com / 21

fashion

TOP: From left to right, Paul, Edd, Jake, Ben S, Chloe, Tom, and Ben W: the inimitable King Lous’ Collective. ABOVE: Bassist Ben Wilde wears grey slim suit, £125, and accessories by Topman.

22 /fashion@gairrhydd.com

Photography by Oli Franklin Shot at the Vulcan Lounge

fashion

Tom wears silm grey three-piece suit, £125. Paul wears black skinny tux, £125. Ben S wears black two-button suit, £100. Shirts and ties, various, all

by Topman.

fashion@gairrhydd.com / 23

fashion

School

is out for summer.

fashion@gairrhydd.com / 25

fashion

Photos and Words: Liz Foggitt; Styling: Natalie John

26 / fashion@gairrhydd.com

fashion

The School K

ay and Ivan are the newest members of The School, a local eightpiece band that are playing at the Summer Ball. Their indiepop sound is primarily inspired by sixties girl bands as well as The Beatles and The Beach Boys; perfect for the summer, and their set will be a great start to the evening at the Ball.

They have an upcoming album, which is going to be available in Spillers Records, and they’re also

playing at several festivals over the summer.

‘Vintage’ is certainly a fashion buzzword at the moment, so for our photo-shoot with The School, we decided to go with a vintage theme. Looby Loo’s, a recently opened boutique in High Street Arcade, kindly provided some of the clothes. The shop specialises in classic items (clothes, bags, jewellery, etc.) from decades gone by, and is well worth a look. The striped dress Kay is wearing is

only £28 and, teemed with other statement pieces such as this fur cape, it makes a really dramatic outfit - which is perfect for formal occasions like the Ball.

All the rest of the clothes (as well as the hoards of trinkets on the table) were mainly charity shop finds. When looking for formal wear and a unique style, charity shops are a fantastic place to start.

They’re perfect for accessories to make the most high street and generic outfit look superb.

fashion@gairrhydd.com / 27

This is an interview with the band

interviews interviews

in which they reveal to Oli Franklin that fame isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Photo and design: Oli Franklin

Los Campesinos!

“Everyone in the band is aware that this isn’t going to last forever” interviews@gairrhydd.com / 29

interviews

C

ardiff is a special place for Los Campesinos!

There might be a tendency to throw around phrases like ‘home-grown’ when referring to local bands that hit the big time, but in their case it seems apt.

This city – and more specifically, this University – nourished the group in their formative years as students here, and since their establishment as global musicians has remained a spiritual home.

The word ‘global’ is also now apt. The band has just finished a lengthy US tour – a far cry from their low-key beginnings in and around our fair city in 2006. During the last few months they have criss-crossed the East and West coasts of America, performing to thousands of fans alongside bands such as Signals and Cymbals Eat Guitars and appearing on national late-night television show Last Call with Carson Daly. And now, lead vocalist Gareth is sitting across from me in the Taf, sipping tentatively on a cold pint of Brains while the Welsh sun shines outside.

“Solus is amazing now,” he says enthusiastically, peering over the rim of his glass. “Do they still have live bands in the side room during Fun Factory?” I nod and confirm that yes, they do. “That was pretty much my weekly night out, every Monday.” We are talking hours before their (I would later find out, astonishing) live performance in Solus, and Gareth Campesinos! (a surname shared by each of the band’s eight members) is keen to be filled in on Union life, caught up in an enthusiastic nostalgia for the place where it all started.

When the group released their first album, ‘Hold On Now, Youngster…’ in 2008, their ineffably catchy and unrelentingly upbeat singles like ‘You! Me! Dancing!’ and ‘Death to Los Campesinos!’ quickly established a die-hard fan-base at home and abroad, particularly in the US. “We play to more people in America than we do over here. We get TV coverage and everything,” says Gareth. “I don’t know why – for one, [US music website] Pitchfork is a lot more supportive of us than, say, the

“I chose to move back with my mum so that I have to pay less rent” 30 / interviews@gairrhydd.com

“We are

not hav pay our loans NME is. And the other thing is we are a lot more glamorous to people in the States than we are over here.”

Back home in the UK and two records later, the veneer of excitement has worn away and the eight band members have developed a maturity as audible in the music and lyrics of their latest album, Romance is Boring, as it is in Gareth’s voice as he explains the truth behind the fame. “When we got the record deal we didn’t take all the money and spend it on shit – we put it away, so we can get a wage from being in the band,” he explains. “When I’m around for a decent amount of time I work, just to get some pocket money.

The guys who live in Cardiff have enough money to pay rent, it’s just that I chose to move back with my mum so that I have to pay even less rent. We’re actually really lucky in that respect, because not many bands at our level are able to just be the band.”

It’s as far as you can imagine from the sex and drugs clichés.

Beneath the urgent strings and choppy guitar riffs there is a real fragility: even two albums and one ‘record’ (don’t ask) in, Los Campesinos! are still finding that ends are only just being met.

interviews

comfortably

ing to student back”

“We are comfortably not having to pay back our student loan at the moment. That’s why we can’t get famous – we don’t want to pay our loans back,” he quips, with a wry smile.

How long will it last? Behind the music, the energetic stage presence and vocal fanbase, the financial reality lingers, and the spectre of a life beyond the band casts an ever-present shadow in their minds. “Everyone in the band is aware that this isn’t going to last forever.” Gareth admits, solemn-faced and staring straight at me. “I reckon we’ve got maybe another 5 years. That would be breaking point. I would like to have had a hit by then – something that pays massive royalties, so then I can do a job that I enjoy and think about settling down.”

He laughs, takes a drink, and stares out the window.

Perhaps he is tired from the relentless touring, or just a little fatigued by the dayto-day. But then he starts up again: “When we were still at university, we were offered a 6-figure sum by a massive company for You! Me! Dancing!, and we said no.” Mindful not to become ‘that band from

that advert’, the band turned down the lucrative deal during a time when the income from the music was still minimal. If he had the choice, does he feel he would have made a different call? “Now I do. Now I feel like I could do that. But at the time I didn’t, and I stand by that.”

Living with parents, struggling to pay off debts: it’s seems strange hearing it from a guy who, hours earlier, I was listening to singing evocatively about life, love and happiness on Spotify, and who later this summer will be playing to tens of thousands at Reading and Leeds.

In the closing lines of the song ‘In Media Res’, Gareth sings “If you were given the option of dying painlessly in peace of forty-five / But with a lover at your side / After a full and happy life / Is that something you would be interested in?” I turn the question back on its author. “At the time, it would have been yes. But I dunno, perhaps I’m a little more level headed than I was, and I like to think there is a happy ending outside of that.”

And with the happy ending in mind, we call an end to our little chat. Well, after a little chat about politics (“David Dimbelby is a lesson to us all” Gareth insists) , Cardiff FC and the world cup (the band organised a day off for each of England’s potential games, right up to the final).A few hours later, the band step onto the Solus stage to raucous applause and within a few bars have the whole venue on their feet, hollering their lyrics back at them.

After a phenomenal set, Gareth addresses the room: “You know what, it feels a little weird up here, because of all the time we spent on this dancefloor… we should be down there.” And with that, the band scales the barriers and are swept into the adulating crowd, instruments in hand, security visibly furious. As the whole rooms sings and sways around them, I catch a glimpse of Gareth belting into the microphone, held aloft, eyes closed, sweating, smiling, home.

Happy ending indeed.

Romance is Boring is out now

“I reckon maybe we’ve got another 5 years.

That would be breaking point. ” interviews@gairrhydd.com / 31

MR RIPLEY

TALENTED

photos

THE

Jake Yorath talks photography, the Beckhams and the good old days with pro photographer David Ripley.

32 / quenchphotos@gairrhydd.com

All photos: Ripley and Ripley

photos

A

s one half of internationally renowned agency Ripley and Ripley, David Ripley (who shares his workload with Colette Ripley) has a fair amount of experience in the field of photographic art. He’s been personally requested by the Beckhams and has worked for a host of international clients including Adidas, Vodafone

and Nintendo. So how did it all start?

“I grew up in an arty family - musicians and actresses and stuff. I had all this pressure to be a musician but I ended up getting the bug for photography when I was about 13,” he recalls. “I had quite cool subjects to shoot, so I suppose it kept me inspired. There were musicians

obviously but they kept big cats as well, lynx and bobcats, so I ended up with all these cool things to shoot. I was sort of in between doing music and photography for a while and went off with those bands and took some pictures in Manchester with them.”

With the bug biting harder, he was encouraged to head south

quenchphotos@gairrhydd.com / 33

photos

“I grew up in Manchester, supported Man United; to get to shoot David Beckham was amazing.“

34 / quench photos@gairrhydd.com

and publicise himself a little.

“I’d never shown my work to anyone before; I guess I was 19 or 20. A friend of a friend knew a photographer who worked for a picture library and they reckoned I should show somebody my pictures and see what they thought,” he says. “So I went down there one day, met them and said ‘What do you think?’

The next week I was shooting Tina Turner and David Bowie at Wembley!”

It’s one piece of advice most photographers hold dear to heart - it’s often who you know, not what you know that bears most fruit in the business. Once you’re name is known, it gets much easier too. “We went from working in picture library, to being hired directly by Emap and that was because they kept putting my pictures in even if they sent other people along to gigs…”

Having honed my technique on Olympus film cameras when I was a teenager, I put it to him that it’s a good way for anyone learning their trade to do it on film just as most pros have done.

“You can learn the basics so much quicker these days. I remember as a kid, when I really got a bug for it, I shot on Kodachrome colour transparency film because it was hard to shoot on. I thought if ‘I can learn to shoot on that I can pretty much do anything’,” he grins.

“I remember every roll of film I shot I’d write down next to it exactly what the exposure was and what I did because I didn’t want to make mistakes because it’s too expensive! Now you can just press a button and it’s right there; you know what you’ve done wrong and change it right there.”

Experience is something David has in spades, thanks to years at the top of the game.

When asked what his highlight is, there seems to be only one answer. “Beckham,” he immediately replies. “I grew up in Manchester, supported Man

photos United, and to get to shoot David Beckham was amazing. It’s weird, I’m not a fan of people as such, I have a lot of respect for people, but I arrogantly think ‘if I’d been doing football from that age I’d be as good as you’ but I did two campaigns for him with Adidas and he’s a really sweet guy. We got on really well and had a nice time. I just thought ‘yeah, that’s quite nice’.”

And it doesn’t stop there, either. What about the Formula One stars, like World Champions Schumacher, Hamilton and Button? “I’m a big F1 fan, so I liked that!” he reflects.

We’re not finished with the honour roll yet, either. Music?

“Maybe some bands that I really got on with and sort of hung out with a lot in the 1990s. That would be Garbage (who I did a lot of work for), Beastie Boys, Chemical Brothers, and The Prodigy. Oh, and Ash. I did a lot of stuff with them as well!”

So how difficult is it, shooting all the famous faces? “It varies so much on personality, whether they become...difficult, or whether they’re very professional. David Beckham is hugely professional and yeah, they had done it loads. The reason I got the gig with him really was because when Victoria left the Spice Girls I did all her press shoots and PR stuff for quite a number of different things and she sort of recommended me.”

There’s always a catch, of course. “They’ll only have a small amount of time. They’re off to PR or dos or meetings or training or whatever. With Beckham I’ve got two hours, this afternoon, this time, everything’s gotta be there, set up, you know it’s a big production.

You have all the stylists and hair and make up. There’s a lot of pressure right there! Going back to the F1, that was insane.

To get something special out of that was hard. Time was so finite and you’d get off 18 shots and that was it. You’re flown out to Spain and they’ve set up a whole studio in a pit garage and

“I’d never shown my pictures to anyone; I was maybe 19 or 20.

The next week, I was shooting Tina Turner and David Bowie at Wembley.”

they only have to walk 20 feet or something. It’s a big production to get everything out there and they could only fit you in between this thing and that thing.

Even if it’s for the company!”

Looking for a new challenge, the two Ripleys moved towards automotive portraits and away from their people based roots.

“That was a whole learning curve, and you could say a bit of luck in other ways. Then the creative director for Top Gear Magazine saw a couple of the car shots we’d done and basically asked if we fancied a go at automotive. We took that as a great opportunity and we were basically learning on the job for the first 18 months.”

How did you set yourselves apart? “There’s the whole thing of bestowing a style on something. We didn’t just want to go into automotive and just get by.

If we did it, we wanted to go in there and justify the work we’d been given.”

The last question saw us inevitably turn towards advice. What gems can a global professional bestow upon humble students?

“It’s difficult when you’re in it, let alone trying to get in it! I mean especially these days with slashed budgets. What was quite a difficult business is now very difficult. Oh god, what would I suggest?” Deliberating for a moment, he pauses before summing up. “You almost have to regard it as a hobby. You can’t think it’s a be all and end all ‘if I don’t do this I’m not going to do anything’ situation.

Try and mix photography with design and Photoshop and 3d elements as well. It’s all conjusive. You could hire yourself out as a retoucher or an art worker for an agency and you can get into photography that way. It’s all the same field. But you then try and either convince them that you should be doing the photography as well.”

So there you have it. If you really want to make it in this game, bring luck, dedication and grit....

quenchphotos@gairrhydd.com / 35

Sam Smith - Self

Quench Photographer of the year:

Books

What’s hot at Hay? The biggest literature festival of the year is back and the line up is better than ever. Emma Pocklington finds out what the good people of Hay have in store.

T

hat’s right; it’s that time of year again and if you’re lounging around after the end of exams, what better way to fill your days than with a trip to the Hay Festival? Once again Hay-On-Wye will be packed full of book lovers who have come to see some of the country’s top authors talk about their trade.

Book talk isn’t all that is on offer however, some big name comedians and musicians will be joining the authors to entertain the crowds and there are loads of crafts and activities to get involved in.

Hay also offers live music and DJs from 10pm until 2am if you fancy a night out after a long day of culture.

The best part is that the Hay Festival loves students. From May 13 onwards, the generous people at Hay will be giving out free student tickets on a first come first served basis. For more information visiit the Hay Festival website or call the box office on 01497 822 629.

So what are you waiting for?

Ian McEwan

Bill Bryson

Zadie Smith

His latest book Solar is one of the first fictions to be inspired by the issue of climate change. Ian McEwan discusses his prizewinning satire.

Will be at Hay launching his new book called At Home, which documents his travels around his home and examines domestic life and human history.

The acclaimed author of On Beauty talks about her new collection of essays on literature.

Philip Pullman

Gillian Clarke

Stephen Fry

The much loved author of our chldhoods talks about his new book, an anti-parable in which he reworks the life of Jesus.

Will be hosting an evening explaining and illustrating a style used in traditional Welsh poetry called cynghanedd (harmony).

A world first in exploring one of the most sophisticated poetic systems.

Will be at the festival again discussing the latest volume of his memoirs which will be released in September.

books@gairrhydd.com / 39

Books

“Powerful and disconcerting.”

- Faith, Hope and Love A Reluctant Cinderella Alison Bond Pub: Michael Joseph

L

ooking at the front cover of A Reluctant Cinderlla, you could be forgiven for taking one look and putting it straight back down. However, despite looking like your average holiday trash, Alison Bond’s novel is, in fact, a gripping read.

The novel follows the life of Samantha Sharp as she struggles to the top of the career ladder, falls, then struggles up again, dealing with turbulent relationships and a dark past en route. Okay, so it does sound like your typical holiday trash but the writing is decent and the main character likeable and believable.

There are parts of this novel that are all high heels and feminism and you get the feeling Bond is

futilly attempting to attract a male audience with football banter and numerous sex scenes. In trying to appeal to everyone she almost makes the mistake of alientating her presumably predominantly female audience, but not quite.

“Parts of this novel are all high heels and feminism” Bond’s novel goes deeper than your average mainstream read.

The story maintains interest and the ending doesn’t leave the taste of cheap perfume in your mouth.

But maybe read it from inside a newspaper to avoid embarrassment.

Emma Pocklington

40 / Books@gairrhydd.com

Faith, Hope and Love Llywd Owen Pub: Y Lolfa

S

ex, drugs and – well maybe not rock and roll, but Faith, Hope and Love

by Llywd Owen certainly packs a punch. The story explores the complex dynamics of a family who struggle to see eye-to-eye.

Alun Brady is almost 30, still lives with his parents and seems to accept his side-lined position under the shadow of his bullying brother, Will. This apparently shy and retiring person has had his fair share of action though, which you find out as the story builds.

The chapters alternate rhythmically between past and present, slowly weaving the complicated web of Alun’s life. The story is presented from his perspective, so you feel involved in his experi-

Books

Photo: Chris Griffiths ences from the outset.

The simple, realistic language with which Alun spells out his thoughts is fresh and relaxed.

Colloquialisms and phoneticallywritten speech create a playful, down-to-earth tone, which is right at home with the setting of our very own beloved Cardiff. Local names like Cathays Terrace, City Road and Roath Park Lake pop up all over the place – Alun Brady’s world is our world and this makes you so much more involved with the plot.

“Local names pop up all over the place” As for the ending, it is powerful, disconcerting and is so unexpected that for this alone, you should read Llywd Owen’s book.

Martha Partridge

Bumping Tony Bianchi Pub: Alcemi

B

umping is a novel with three separate narratives: ‘Frank’, ‘Tom’ and ‘Nicky, Val, Barry’, which are all connected, for example: Tom is a resident in a nursing home together with Frank’s motherin-law.

Frank’s and Nicky’s stories are told in the first person, which, in my opinion, makes the characters easy to understand and empathise with. That’s not to say that Tom isn’t likeable: one easily empathises with him, and it’s also easy to sympathise with others in his story arc.

Tony Bianchi, a native of Tyneside, weaves brilliant stories around these characters. The narratives are none the worse for being set amongst the humdrum

events of everyday life. We see Frank doing the shopping with Jean, his wife, and attending his daughter’s engagement party.

Nicky’s mum, Val, searches for a new home on the internet. Elderly Tom considers birthday presents from his family, and travels in foreign climes.

Bianchi’s prose is always engaging and always beautifully descriptive, with plenty of the humour that daily life conjures up.

I particularly warmed to caring family man Frank, whose life Bianchi details admirably: there are lengthy descriptions of Frank’s work on a building project, yet this detailing is never boring.

Bumping has been praised by many people, and I’m more than happy to add my name to that list.

Bittersweet, emotive and captivating, Bumping is Bianchi’s first novel in English and, if this is the standard he has set himself, he should become a highly-respected English-language author in the years ahead.

Greg Rees

Books@gairrhydd.com / 41

Books

Pocket Notebook is the debut novel from police officer Mike Thomas. Greg Rees catches up with the author to talk about his novel, his Wales Book of the Year nomination and his upcoming series.

M

ike Thomas has been nominated for the Wales Book of the Year Award for his debut published novel, Pocket Notebook, which tells the story of Jacob Smith, a policeman who is unorthodox to say the least. The novel charts the ups and (mainly) downs of Jacob’s life, as he struggles with work, drugs, and relationships.

Greg: What made you decide to write Pocket Notebook?

Mike Thomas: Well the first idea, the kernel, was back in about 1995. I’d been a few years on [the police force] by then. I didn’t think I had the tools to do it justice, though. Since then, I’ve done short stories for magazines, and on the web, and I won a Rhys Davies short story prize. I’ve also written three novels, older ones, they’re crime genre novels. I doubt they’ll

see the light of day, I see them as me learning my craft. I finished Pocket Notebook in 2008 and then redrafted and redid bits.

G: And you’re up for Welsh Book of the Year!

“After a couple of years you get into it and you find out that it’s nothing like The Bill” MT: Yes. The shortlist is going to be announced in June. I’m just

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happy to be on the longlist, it’s a great achievement!

G: Did you have the entire story mapped out from day one, or did you have an idea and then build on it?

MT: The way I work is to take the spark of an idea, sit down and work it through. I didn’t think I could pull it off: the first person narrative, and the unlikeable character of Jacob. I did pretty much have points through the novel that I knew I wanted to get to. And I knew where I wanted it to end.

G: What made you join the police force?

MT: When I first joined, it was at the turn of the nineties. I knew people in the job and The Bill was at its zenith! It seemed more exciting than a civil service job and quite well paid. After a couple of years you get into it, though you find out that it’s nothing like The

Books

Lashings of the old ultraviolent Bill!

G: Did you find it easy or hard writing about a profession you know so well?

MT: Well, writing about the procedural stuff was a doddle, really.

I’ve made the novel as authentic as possible without giving too much away about procedure. Everything in there is how it happens!

G: Do you like the character of Jacob Smith? He’s not the easiest person to warm to!

MT: I can understand that, he’s a hateful character. He’s what I hate about the police force. It was quite cathartic writing about him. I hope that the readers can understand the way he acts. I think of him as a handsome, muscular, suave guy, who doesn’t realise he’s awful.

G: Is Jacob based on any particular person?

MT: He’s not based on any one particular individual. There are little bits of me in there. I’m a terrible people watcher: their little character traits and idiosyncrasies - I store them up and use them later!

With Jacob I had to store up all the bad bits and put them together.

G: The front cover alludes to A Clockwork Orange. Was that a conscious decision on your part?

MT: Actually, that was a guy from Heinemann. He contacted Willie Ryan, who’s done similar covers for Paul McCartney. It was a deliberate nod to an original A Clockwork Orange cover from the 1970s. It gives you a flavour of the book. I think the publishers liked the thought of a bunch of thugs roaming around society; those thugs just happened to be the police! It was a bit strange to see the cover at first, but within about five minutes I did laugh.

“When writing I kept picturing Gerard Butler” G: What are your plans for the novel? Would you like to see it filmed, or turned into a series?

MT: It’s already on its way! I sold

the rights a couple of months ago to Carnival Films. I’m working on the screenplay with Tony Saint, a well-respected screenwriter, who’s done some work for BBC3. I’m going to have a hand in it, as a consultant, something like that. You’re looking at six parts, and possibly another series of six parts.

G: Excellent! Who would you like to play Jacob?

MT: Well, when I was writing the book, I kept picturing Gerard Butler, like in 300. I don’t like the film really, but that sort of hairy, animalistic, psychotic, raving lunatic! A crazy sort of thing, a man-mountain, ‘roid-riddled, who can’t understand why people are turning against him.

G: Do you have any forthcoming projects you’d like people to know about?

MT: Well obviously the TV thing, I’ve got limited input on that anyway. I’m halfway through the next book, it’s due to go to the publishers at the end of the year.

It’s going to be called Ugly Bus, it’s about a vanload of coppers that are out of control!

Books@gairrhydd.com / 43

arts

I

love a good pavilion when I see one.

There’s something about a building built just for the purposes of overgrown conceptual art that really tickles my fancy.

The Shanghai Expo is for all intents and purposes a ‘my country is better than yours’ competition, with the Chinese set on making a strong impression by spending more than the Beijing Olympics on their entry. The British ‘seed cathedral’ is essentially just an overgrown dandelion clock, with each seed meant to represent the different ‘seeds’ of our culture. I wonder which one represents the irony over our country’s economic growth if we keep creating gigantic plant metaphors out of the national budget.

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h you’ve got to love the internet for the amount of rubbish it generates. Add to that the fact that Arts just love to help perpetuate a good bit of gossip when the mood is right. This week, we discovered that a protest group, frustrated with the fact Tate Modern accept sponsorship from BP, filled the Turbine Hall with dead birds and fish attached to big black balloons. Rumour had it that the Tate spent all day struggling as the balloons floated in the intricate nooks of the former power station. Riling against BP, the group behind this moment ‘took this action whilst Tate sponsor BP is creating the largest oil painting in the world’. Now that’s a slick protest if ever we saw one.

N

ow the best nights out always have a few very specific components. There will be as many mates as possible, the beer supply will be never-ending and the tunes will take you back to those most perfect years. But, most importantly, as all of us know, they should always incorporate a reliable and sexy mode of public transport. Well… that’s what the Underground would have us believe as it joins up with the London Transport Museum in an exhibition running from the end of the month until early 2011. Yet, being more of a Cardiff girl myself, I’ll stick to hitting Metros for my underground-transport-themed fun.

Arts

update

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arts

ARTS SEEN Artes Mundi Arts Exhibition

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ith a meaty £40,000 prize fund up for grabs it is hardly surprising that that this year’s Artes Mundi Art Exhibition and Prize attracted over 500 entrants from more than 80 countries. However, these have now been whittled down to just seven finalists, including Yael Bartana from Israel; Fernando Bryce from Peru; Bulgarian Ergin Çavuşoğlu; Chen Chieh-jen from Taiwan; Russian Olga Chernysheva; an arty Kyrgyzstani couple called Gulnara Kasmalieva and Muratbek Djumaliev; and Adrian Paci from Albania. An ethnically and culturally diverse bunch, eh? ‘What about representatives from Africa and Oceania?’ I hear you cry. Well, pipe down – they

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didn’t cut the mustard, so please deal with it and move on.

"Artes Mundi displays art that deals with consumerism.

Ironic considering they are sponsored by a bank" The exhibition is currently showing at the National Museum of Wales in Cardiff and displays contemporary art pieces that explore such pithy subject matters as the human condition,

globalis≠ation and consumerism (ironic considering the fact that this year’s competition is proudly sponsored by a major investment bank).

From Bryce’s intelligent newspaper replications that thrash out global political anxieties, to Kasmalieva and Djumaliev’s series of vivid photographs that portray the fall of Communism in Kyrgyzstan, there is something in the Artes Mundi to engage and captivate everyone, even the most critical art boff. The Artes Mundi may not hold the same prestige as its London-based cousin, The Turner Prize, but it provides a welcome platform for international artists seeking their place on the British commercial art scene. I would urge you all to take a trip to the National Museum in support of this fantastic exhibition and savour the wealth of culturally diverse art on offer. The winner will be announced on 19th May 2010.

Gavin Jewkes

arts

Spring Awakening Theatre RWCMD at Chapter Arts

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f there was ever a store which sold storylines for Hollyoaks, a review of Spring Awakening would look like a shopping list.

Abortion. Check. Short Skirts.

Check. Depression. Check.

Troublesome Parents. Hoop earrings. Sex. Check, check and check. Yet there is something {oh so right} about this adaption by acclaimed local playwright Gary Owen, making this an irresistible reworking of a thought-provoking piece perfect for the Misfits generation.

After just a few minutes of the play, the stage is already full of a repressed energy, discouraging us from reading the ‘spring’ of the title as a time of daffodils and lambs.

Instead, we are led to imagine the potential energy of coiled metal, prepared for forceful action.

And this work sure does pack a punch. The original was written for the Berlin stage in the late nineteenth century. Yet, deemed too controversial for the German theatres with its casual references to masturbation and premarital sex, it wasn’t until 2007 that Steven Sater breathed new life into it, turning it into a fully fuelled rock opera with a dark, magnetic pull for awards.

In Owen’s rewrite, the play is dragged into a completely modern setting. Yet although we believe ourselves more developed than our 1891 counterparts, the kids here are still disabled and traumatized by their own lack of knowledge. This is an ignorant world where vacuum cleaners provide the essential manly extensions which leave ladies ‘begging for more’ and ‘mushies can’t be bad for you because they’re natural’.

Yet such moments are balanced out with an unquestionable wisdom as the characters’ discussions aid the play’s self-conscious message:

fictional stories are always more complicated than a trip to the offlicense, because life is complicated too. Despite Spring Awakening being a short play which rushes through its content without an interval to provide a breather, a core of multidimensional characters are still able to emerge as fully believable beings.

Hidden behind the guise of an angsty hormone-fuelled comedy, subtle linguistic manoeuvres expose a deeper core to this presentation of identity. In one particularly intelligent moment, we witness characters admire each others’ new trainers to such an extent that ‘sole’ becomes ‘soul’, blurring the boundaries between the rapid consumerism and image obsessiveness of teen-culture with richer understandings of the young people shown.

Within its minimalistic inthe-round set, RWCMAD make one hell of a statement. Forget Shakespeare’s Globe or the Roman amphitheatre, the arrangement of the audience is as powerful as the pounding d ‘n’ b which kicks off the show.

Gary Owen brings his characters, outsiders usually confined to the peripherals of society, into the centre so that, through the reversal of theatrical conventions, alcoholic mothers, obsessive-compulsive neurotics and bimbos stand where we expect to see brave warriors and brutal kings.

Spring Awakening’s choice of representations may be specific, but its ideas are universal.

Owen has forged a multilayered script which exposes the power relations that exist between us all and which ebb and flow indiscriminately through centuries, genders, classes and age-groups.

Look beyond the frequent use of expletives and banal references to fake tan and you shall see a thorough excavation which skilfully uncovers the importance of communication and knowledge.

Amelia Forsbrook

arts@gairrhydd.com / 47

music

music albums:thenational

feature:festivals

live:loscampesinos

local:preview editorial

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or those of you who aren’t going to be indulging in the delights of being back at the old homestead, unless, that is, you hail from this fair city, there’s a positive multitude (sic) of things that will fill the period between waking and sleeping that is usually occupied by studying.

June 9th will see CAI accomadate the electro dance meanderings of Chew Lips closely followed on the 10th by Florence and the Machine at Coopers Field.

From across the pond, Jesse Malin will be bringing his bittersweet brand of heartbreak to Clwb on July 6th.

Come the 15th, Fucked Up will be turning Barfly into a hot-bed of hardcore mayhem.

As a fitting end to the summer, former Super Furry, Gruff Rhys will be joining forces with Tony DaGattora for a diad of dates in Clwb, the first of which is the 28th of July.

Jon Berry

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ou all knew it was coming. Arguably the most anticipated moment in every Quench year, it’s the 2010 festival preview, glossy-style.

Rather than concentrate solely on the big guns, we’ve opted to give a fair balance between small and large scale festivals of all shapes and sounds, whether folk, rock or dance.

Dance? But surely that’s - hold your proverbial horses. Going Out has joined forces with Music to create some kind of super-section that’s more powerful, more controversial, but no more productive than ever before. It is this dynamic duo that will aim to give you all the information you need to make any festival-related decisions this summer. Unless you want to go to Glastonbury, which, in an unprecidented turn of events, sold out some while back.

Although we won’t be giving them a full preview, here is a brief summary of some of the larger festivals to grace our wonderful

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country and their respective headline acts. Now everyone’s happy!

Reading/Leeds returns with a strange amalgamation of acts, including the world’s no. 1 Guns n’ Roses tribute act, the respectable Arcade Fire and the undeniably awesome blink-182. Pop’s favourite festival, V, features two of mainstream rock’s bands of the moment, Kasabian and Kings of Leon, as well as dance legends Faithless and the Stereophonics.

Turning to the heavier side of things, this year’s Download Festival lineup is nostalgic as fuck.

AC/DC will play a set of 20 nearidentical songs, Aerosmith may or may not have a frontman and Rage Against The Machine will be there to make some money from their Christmas no. 1 success.

So there you have it. A taste of what’s to come when you, dear reader, turn over that shiny page in front of you to revel in the majesty of the Quench 2010 festival preview. Enjoy your summers.

Michael Brown

music

Recommended

As part of the second most important coalition to take place in recent times, Quench Music and Going Out editor Jack Doran team up to look at the best events of the coming weeks....

Sebastian Leger

Tom Middleton

Hostage

Friday 11th June

Friday 18th June

Thursday 3rd June

Millenium Music Hall

Barfly

Clwb Ifor Bach

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nce you’ve finished getting your immaculate outfits muddy at the Summer Ball, taxi over to Millenium Music Hall for the awesome Sebastien Leger.

The French DJ has been producing for over ten years, earning him a deserved position at the height of the house and techno scene. When not mixing at venues all over the world, the DJ finds time to host a radio show on the Ministry of Sound’s website and run his own label Mistakes Music. Despite the enormity and longevity of his career, this will be Leger’s first visit to the city, an event to behold!

For many people, the Summer Ball will be the last big night out of the year. So, no excuses for stopping partying when the Cooper’s Field kicks out, head to MMH and stomp about ‘til the early hours.

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or those of us in our first or second years we are unlikely to be too aware of promotions group Sumo. The breakbeat night is in fact somewhat of an institution in our city, its success long standing.

Sumo’s next guest shall be the internationally renowned Tom Middleton. A DJ whose success has carried him worldwide, once holding a residency at the greatest of superclubs, Ibiza’s Manumission.

His sound has varied greatly over the years, his productions now of ambient inclination, with an uplifting house influence. Warming up before he sets off on a huge festival tour, this will be a chance to experience Mr. Middleton up close and personal. Tom Middleton’s appearance is undoubtedly a real treat for Cardiff, don’t miss it.

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cottish DJ Alan Hostage is bound to go down very well at CYNT, Clwb Ifor Bach’s premiere electronic music night.

His bass-driven, electro house sounds are quite simply synonymous with the most successful mid-week rave in Cardiff. While no one is alluding to subtlety or grace, jump-up, massive breaks and bass are a guarantee. Signed to label Nightshifters alongside the legendary AC Slater, whose recent CYNT set was met with considerable enthusiasm, the future is looking bright for the Edinburgh producer.

Room two duties will as ever be fulfilled by our university’s own One Mission, looking to satisfy all your dubstep and drum and bass needs. Get yourself down to Clwb Ifor Bach for some wobbly, fidgety fun.

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music

Festivals 2010

Spoilt for choice? Quench is here to preview the summer’s finest festivals...

Bestival 9th - 12th September

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ver the connoisseur of all things left-field, Rob da Bank returns with the oddity of the festival calendar, Bestival.

Now in its sixth year running, this widely revered ‘boutique festival’ looks set to have another spectacular year in 2010 – it boasted an attendance of 43,000 festival-goers last summer and with the likes of The Flaming Lips, Hot Chip, The Prodigy and Dizzee Rascal topping the bill this year, it’s no surprise that tickets have been snapped up this time around.

Propping up the headliners will be the likes of LCD Soundsystem, The xx, Chase & Status, Four Tet,

Flying Lotus, Skream – there’s a hefty list of acts that warrant your attention, and far too many to list here. Rest assured though, Bestival has one of the best UK line-ups on offer this year; those with tickets should gloat, and those without might want to avoid the full line-up online – it’ll only make you sad.

Aside from the stage-based activities, the hallmarks of Bestival’s social agenda return in 2010.

The notorious Big Love Inflatable Church is again on offer for those who want to get hitched, and the Saturday dressing-up protocol makes its return armed with a fantasy theme. For those who’ve perhaps over-indulged, there’s

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a Heavenly Healing area where there’s anything from pampering to sound-healing – everything you need to get back on your feet and into the spirit of things.

Bestival features a diversity, creativity and underlying character that some of the bigger festivals sorely lack. It’s the more interesting half of the Isle of Wight’s premium festivals, and offers far more than musical opportunities with an array of artistry and activities to satisfy all its visitors, no matter how weird. It’s a hot ticket this year, so hit up Ebay if you’ve been left straggling.

Phil Guy

music

Outlook 2nd - 5th September

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or the army of dubstep fans out there, Croatia’s Outlook festival is surely the one. Billed as the biggest soundsystem culture event in Europe, the city of Pula will play host to some of the biggest names in dub, dubstep, drum and bass, reggae and more.

Possibly the greatest pull of this festival is its location. Having burst into existence in a small fishing village in 2008, the festival moved to a beach-side superclub the following year. 2010 sees the event in a third home, an epic abandoned fort by the name of Punta Christo.

Within spitting distance of the sea, the promoters are keen to emphasize the beach and boat parties on offer to revellers.

The monstrous line-up includes Roots Manuva, Skream, Mala, Coki, Congo Natty, Hatcha, Plastician, Joker, Nero and many, many more. Tickets come at a very reasonable price of £89, with cheap flights or overland options, the total is likely to match that of many of the larger UK festivals. If you’re up for a mission, Outlook is bound to be a truly memorable experience.

Jack Doran

Exit 8th - 11th July

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nother festival for those willing to travel, this wellestablished event takes place in the Serbian city of Novi Sad. The dance music on offer seems to cater for a wide variety of tastes. Massive headliners include Chemical Brothers, Pendulum, Chromeo and LCD Soundsystem.

Digging deeper into the lengthy list of artists though and there’s a plethora of big names; London Electricity, Boys Noize, Erol Alkan and Foreign Beggars to name a few.

Much like Outlook, the four day festival boasts its site as one of the main attractions. The fun will all be contained in the mighty Petrovaradin Fortress, just big enough to contain the biggest fest in southeast Europe.

Tickets are priced at only £99 although it is worth noting this excludes accommodation and transport, possibly making Exit a more expensive option.

If funds will allow, there’s cheap transport arrangements laid on for those keen to explore Serbia before or after the event.

Jack Doran

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music

Glastonbury 23rd - 27th June

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or every festival goer Glastonbury will always be a ‘must’, regardless of its inevitable bad weather and occasionally controversial line-up.

Celebrating its 40th anniversary this year, it is set to be the festival of the summer.

As the biggest open-air festival in the world, located in 900 acres in the Vale of Avalon, Glastonbury is arguably more about taking in the experience than the bands which are headlining. Set over five days, it features an enormous array of talent and styles on seventeen stages with people travelling from all over the globe to attend its world-famous grounds.

This year sees an incredible line-up that fit its 40th anniversary perfectly. Festival organiser Michael Eavis has described the

line-up as ‘the most staggering’ to date. Many will be pleased to see that stadium superstars U2 have ducked out at the last minute, conveniently giving way for Damon Albarn’s Gorillaz - whether it’s the full band or just their VDJ set, it’s sure to be great.

Muse are then set to headline on Saturday night, hoping to reinforce the claims that they are one of the best live acts around today, while Sunday sees Stevie Wonder and guitar legend Slash perform.

There are still acts to be confirmed for the main stage, with murmurs of a high profile artist still to be announced.

Many other festival favourites are playing on the Other Stage and the John Peel Stage such as Florence and the Machine, Foals, The Temper Trap and We are

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Scientists, as well as newer bands such as Mumford and sons, The xx, Wild Beasts and Two Door Cinema Club.

Split into different geographical areas, there is an abundance of talent to see at Glasto. In the Field of Avalon there will be an eclectic array of folk and roots influenced artists, or if you are more inclined towards electronics then there’s always the Dance village. And for the more daring of you there’s also the Shangri-La, the Pleasure City.

Glastonbury is legendary, even to the point that its steep £185 price tag seems irrelevant. If you’re lucky enough to be going this year then don’t forget your wellies and expect a weekend of endless possibilities.

Emma Wilford

music

The Big Chill 5th - 8th August

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et in the gorgeous grounds of Eastnor Castle, Herefordshire, The Big Chill festival does exactly what it says on the tin.

The vast open spaces allowed by the sizeable site encourage a laid back approach to the festival experience. However, do not be fooled, come nightfall the masses of chillers are rudely awoken from their collective slumber by one of

the best line-ups the UK has to offer.

Dominating the festivals larger stages will be the likes of Massive Attack, M.I.A., Lily Allen, Plan B and the incredible Thom Yorke of Radiohead. However, the dance music will undoubtedly be a highlight, with artists including Hexstatic, DJ Derek, Magnetic Men, Norman Jay and a Hospital Records showcase.

If it all becomes a bit much then why not head to Mr. Scruff’s tea tent, or take a turn round the acclaimed art trail, featuring a mindbending array of multi sensory installations.

With idyllic surroundings, a cracking line-up, and much more, a Big Chill ticket is bound to be a serious contender for your Summer’s budget in 2010.

Jack Doran

event in 1997 to last year’s event which housed 20,000 of Europe’s hippest hipsters.

The small journey from the UK would be well worth your time as 2010 sees perhaps Melt!’s most eclectic programme yet, with Booka Shade, Dirty Projectors, A-track, Chromeo, Four Tet, The XX, Midlake and Fucked Up all in

attendance. It’s rare that you’ll find a festival with this many truly innovative acts across multiple genres all performing in the same place.

The relatively cheap booking fee of roughly £90 along with all this should make it a serious consideration in this year’s summer plans.

Simon Roach

Melt!

16th - 18th July

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orget Oktoberfest, Germany may have a new contender for its best alcoholfuelled weekend, and is this year showcasing some of the most pioneering acts around. Its impressive location of an openair museum and its constantly stellar line-up has enabled it to grow from a mere 2,000-strong

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music

Green Man 20th - 22nd August

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hile the charm of most festivals is getting rustic and enjoying your favourite bands in the comfort of the countryside, Green Man can rightfully claim to have some of the most aesthetically pleasing surroundings, both in sound and sight.

The main stage of the festival falls just the other side of the River Usk (perfect for dipping the skin) while the concave face of the Sugar Loaf Mountain is an idyllic backdrop and a lovely place to take a bird’s-eye view of the circus below. It’s more than just a postcard setting, though - it’s an integral part of the festival itself.

And these sort of lazy, sunny and cider filled days need a soundtrack to match, and California’s Girls should do nicely. Their San

Francisco drawls and unpolished instrumentation simultaneously creates a languid mood that also want you to participate in their wishes of finding summer love while drinking a shitload of wine.

No one needs telling of the Flaming Lips’ festival credo, and their hamster-balling acid-rock should find its eccentric appreciation here. Beirut are also set to pull a ‘Bon-Iver’ and steal Friday night from under Doves’ noses. Whether Zach Condon comes as Gallic Chanteuse, Baltic Bard or Mexican Troubadour, it’ll be difficult not to be carried upon the wave of poppy yet hair-raising inspiration Beirut will undoubtedly provide. I bet I cry like at Bon Iver.

Meanwhile, Joanna Newsom is headlining on Sunday, her first appearance at the festival since pro-

moting The Milk Eyed Mender in 2004. Two albums later, the harpvoice dichotomy is still integral but lush orchestration and a subtly warmer tone to her voice are the focus of the triple album spectacular Have One on Me. Beautiful and bound to melt your heart, this should be one of the highlights of the weekend. Further down, the line up is still rock-solid; Efterklang should provide beautifully crafted melancholia, The Besnard Lakes could well be this years Dirty Three post-rock-closed-eyes-noddinghead band and Buck Futtons’ set should at the very least scare the wildlife with their dirgy, warped electronic instrumentation. Bring it on.

Lloyd Griffiths & Natalie Copp

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music

Secret Garden Party 22nd - 25th July

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ecret Garden Party is a slight anomaly on the festival circuit. Whilst many of its peers gain popularity and recognition through the construction of an alluring lineup before proceeding around this core requirement, Secret Garden Party take an entirely different approach.

Like many others it is selfproclaimed as an arts and music festival, but where it differs from

the rest is its unique emphasis on participation and community. The music is important, but the question of who is playing is almost arbitrary when the atmosphere and enjoyment are based on so much more than just the paid performers. This concept is best seen in their guarantee that 50% of all programming money is given back to the festival-goers in the form of grants – anyone with an interesting idea is given the funding to setup

their own activity which could be anything from face painting to organised kiss-chases. All this goes on across beautiful fields which roll around a central lake to create a fairly magical scene. This level of creative freedom is seen in no other festival and contributes to Secret Garden Party’s reputation as the most fun and liberated festival around.

Simon Roach

End Of The Road 9th - 12th September

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fter a long and arduous festival season no doubt littered with many a sleepless night and varying degrees of chemical consumption, its toll will surely take over those who have whiled away the summer in various fields up and down the country. Hence, End of the Road will act as both a literal and allegorical end of the road for those wishing to hold on to the suspended reality of the halcyon summer festivities for as long as possible. But as often said, all good things must come to an end, and the British festival season is by no means

an exception.

Nestled in the picturesque Lamer Tree Gardens, Salisbury, EOTR boasts an impressive lineup of artists tending toward the more ‘relaxing’ side of things, and I use that particular adjective with a degree of apprehension. Headliners this year will include American Indie stalwarts Yo La Tengo, alt. country heavyweights Wilco and the deliciously understated Modest Mouse. Whilst all three can deliver music that is, in turns, far more abrasive and accented than it is ‘relaxing’, it seems true to say that this is a festival line-up catering to those with a predisposition away

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from the mainstream tastes in favour of something more timeless.

Even more suited to those who have had a tentful during the height of the festival season itself, a camping company called Tangerine Fields will be renting pre-pitched tents, tipis and Gypsy caravans as a way of minimising the stress associated with this relatively low key, happily sombre affair. So, for those of you attending the biggies such as Glastonbury, there’s little need to worry about leaving your tent where it is.

Jon Berry

albums-music

The National High Violet

4AD

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hile it may seem to the casual listener that The National’s 5th LP holds a weight of expectation in its carefully crafted hands, Berninger & Co fanatics like myself know to be patient, seeing as Alligator and 2007’s Boxer gradually revealed equal parts dark Romance and embattled euphoria.

And this is how High Violet begins, somewhat unusually with Berninger’s sexual baritone drawl fighting to make itself heard through the Buck Futtons-esque white noise on Terrible Love.

All the usual National constituent charms are evident however; Bloodbuzz Ohio surges forward with percussive persistence and Runaway is regretfully sentimental, urging ‘Go ahead, go ahead / Throw your arms in the air tonight’.

While Boxer was perfectly formed,

to date, its lush arrangement and hair-on-neck lyrics far away from Berninger tentatively ‘walking with spiders’ on Terrible Love. Despite this, both songs make you marvel at the band’s consistent brilliance in constructing the arc towards the epic, while still maintaining individual nuances within songs.

this is less so, with songs standing out from one another and as such it traverses Berninger’s melancholic extremes more regularly.

Anyone’s Ghost is obviously moody, brooding repetitively and echoing the cyclical irrationality of an ignored lover – ‘You said it was not inside my heart, it was’.

Contrastingly England is strangely warm, its ascending piano and Berninger’s position as melancholic bard spinning British rain into an aesthetically triumphant experience.

"All the usual charms are evident" It manages to be more than a collection of excellent songs however. Maybe it’s the subtle differences between it and previous work, but the urge to compare this to Boxer dissipates after 3 or 4 listens. Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks is the band’s most anthemic song

"The collection releases so many subtle nuances" While one more air-drummable Apartment Story-esque track wouldn’t go amiss, the collection releases so many subtle nuances and joys, it would be wrong to yearn for the Boxer that isn’t. Rather, High Violet astounds in how large and rich The National seem to have made their (superficially) limited melancholic musical space sound and undoubtedly further listens can only expand these boundaries.

Lloyd Griffiths

8.

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music-albums

The Black Keys Brothers

V2

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here are some bands who try to position themselves on the cutting edge, so keen to experiment that they run the risk of falling off. Other bands, on the other hand, are unashamedly retro and make no claims to be anything to the contrary. The Black Keys are most definitely the latter.

Brothers sees guitarist/vocalist Dan Auerbach and drummer Patrick Carney running the gamut of blues and psychedelica in their sixth studio release. After 2009’s hip-hop collaboration Blakroc saw the band exploring unfamiliar territory, Brothers is unmistakably back-to-basics and this is by no means a bad thing.

Combining a raw, gritty production with modern recording techniques and effects ensures that Brothers is never overly nostalgic but instead exploits the genre to its

limits. While Next Girl recalls the sound of early Led Zeppelin, The Go Getter’s use of spacious reverb creates a kind of futuristic, yet oldschool R&B with a whole lotta soul.

Indeed, Auerbach’s vocals have never sounded more expressive.

In terms of instrumentation, Brothers has a real live band feel, despite only featuring two members. Fuzzy, tremolo-drenched guitar is flanked by groove-laden basslines, weaving around Carney’s funk, and often hip-hop, influenced beats. Although the guitar work is given a clear focus in the album’s overall mix, any solos are never self-indulgent but play off the song’s rhythms, as in the Neil Young-esque instrumental Black Mud. It is this sense of, pardon the pun, musical brotherhood that lends the album’s instrumental and vocal delivery such authenticity and honesty. Brothers doesn’t sound like it’s aping those 60s and 70s albums that it so admires, but could be one of them, albeit in a highly different musical climate. Michael Brown

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7.

Pendulum Immersion

Warner Bros.

T

here is a lot riding on this album. Pendulum’s back catalogue has seen arguably the most amount of flak and conflict ever faced by a drum & bass act. Hold Your Colour was widely regarded as a seminal DnB record, whilst their followup, In Silico, was chastised for its emphasis on live instruments and focus on rock over electronica. So then, which way will Immersion tip the balance?

The album opens with Genesis as an intro track before plowing into Salt In The Wounds, a big noisy jump-up affair that makes a play to win the hearts back from those unsatisfied with the way Pendulum’s sound evolved.

Despite an interesting half-time section, its just too long though.

Just short of seven minutes, with no vocal hook, the synth lines be-

albums-music

come repetitive and uninteresting.

Singles Watercolour and Witchcraft are decent album filler; full of mainstream appeal and the odd flash of what made Pendulum so addictive in the first place.

For all the hate spewn at them by hardcore DnB elitists, I have to admire Pendulum for the fact that they don’t give a shit. Its clear that with this album they wanted to make the music they wanted, and the fans would fall into place accordingly. There’s no constant sound on the album; Set Me On Fire is the band’s take on the wobbly dubstep sound, whilst Self vs Self features death-metallers In Flames and takes no prisoners with its heavy sound. Porcupine Tree’s Steve Wilson also crops up on The Fountain, a track which could arguably be the pioneer of Prog N’ Bass.

It’s not Hold Your Colour, but it’s not In Silico either. Immersion then is the next step in Pendulum’s evolution, a well-needed blast of energy into a sometimes rather static genre. Perfect for summer.

Sam Smith

8.

The Dead Weather Sea of Cowards

Warner Bros.

W

ith Jack White you think you have heard it all before: another supergroup, another album with dark lyrics and White Stripes-esque chords. Some could say he is a bit predictable.

The latest album by The Dead Weather, however. is anything but predictable. The band seem to have discovered their own individual sound; an electric combination of blues and gothic rock which moves them above and beyond a mere ‘side project’ of Jack White’s.

After mixed reviews from their debut album, Horehound, it is suprising to learn that they have made a new album so soon. It is evident from the very first listen, however, that this album surpasses Horehound. Unlike the debut, this has more balls; the guitar riffs are powerful and the lyrics haunting. There is a distinct sense that

this a band that wants to be taken more seriously.

Fronted by a woman with possibly the sexiest voice in music, Alison Mosshart from The Kills, there is a definite musical chemistry between her and Jack White’s exchanges of gothic lyricism and it seems that this type of music is written specifically for Mosshart’s vocals.

Sea of Cowards opens with Blue Blood Blues, a funky interpretation on Jack White’s usual style.

Other stand-out tracks include new single Die by the Drop as well as No Horse and Jawbreaker.

Their music is gothic and grungy with a hint of southern drawl; think True Blood meets a Tim Burton film. You only have to watch the music video for Die by the Drop to realise that Jack White and co. are verging on the right side of crazy.

It is true that this is not the type of album all people will all love as it can get a little messy, yet The Dead Weather have proven that super groups can work really quite well.

Emma Wilford

8.

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music-live

Delays Clwb Ifor Bach

23rd May 2010

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weekend basking in the mid-May sunshine had rendered Clwb Ifor Bach a hot-house of unfathomable proportions.

Even after years of CYNTfuelled hedonism, never had I experienced such a degree (both literal and figurative) of heat within Clwb’s four walls and three stories.

There’s something oddly disconcerting about entering a venue with the sun still beating down, but Delays’ brand of polyphonic pop could not have been better suited to such a weekend.

After something of a wilderness period, having vagrantly flitted with the pop charts back in 2004, Delays have lost none of the charm and charisma that made them the darlings of the music press back when their breakthrough opus, Faded Seaside Glory, was released.

Delays’ approach their set with an almost scientific precision, playing material from both the aforementioned and their forthcoming LP Star Tiger, Star Ariel.

An encore encompassing their latest single Unsung and their highest charting release, Long Time Coming, proved an excellent choice. The vibrations within the room were palpable, and not merely by virtue of Clwb’s more than ample sound system. What Aaron and Greg Gilbert lack in stature they more than make up for in crowd coersion.

Even as a stone-cold danceophobe I found myself coerced into the occasional pop of the body and bob of the head. Just thinking about it in retrospect makes me realise how much I dance like my Dad and why I choose, point blank, never ever to dance. But alas, Delays chipped away at my sense of self-preservation with sardonic accuracy. As if this wasn’t a big enough achievement, it takes on a whole new on a whole new magnitude considering the heat.

Jon Berry

60 / music@gairrhydd.com

Johnny Flynn Thekla, Bristol

23rd May 2010

T

hekla would seem the perfect place for Johnny Flynn to perform. Set on the banks of the River Avon in the heart of Bristol, the atmosphere on the boat is fresh and quirky; words that often spring to mind when discussing Johnny Flynn’s music.

His light-hearted yet paradoxically dark first LP, A Larum, saw rave reviews from fans of the ‘nufolk’ scene nor did it go unnoticed by critics. Striding out with his band The Sussex Wit, dressed in a wrinkled old shirt, he appeared instantly humbled and cheery. A timid ‘Hello’ from a mouth carved

by Adonis himself, he broke into his first song Cold Bread, a raucous and bawdy folk song harking back to a by-gone age, with roaring trumpets and a mandolin riff that would get your granny footstomping.

live-music

Over the next few songs, including some from his new album Been Listening, it became apparent that this man, only 21, can play almost anything, especially when he whipped out a trumpet and had the crowd speechless as it echoed through the tiny boat.

To look at, he may be labelled as just another fresh face, but on inspection of his mature songwriting and sly witticisms, it becomes clear that the man has wisdom beyond his years. The Wrote and The Writ, an unnervingly insightful venture into his views on religion, has some absolute lyrical gems.

The final song, Leftovers, is a brilliant composition of American bluegrass with the soft and soulful melodies of an old British ditty.

Many have claimed Mr. Flynn is no more than a blushing young man musing on life, but his lyrical mastery implies much more. The soaring melodies and star-crossed lyrics transport you to a land of country girls, crooked priests and lowly tramps; and as for those who claim he is but a boy, they should really hear him play the trumpet.

Matt Tilling

Los Campesinos!

Solus

21st May 2010

L

os Campesinos marked their return to Solus with a typically lively set which saw frontman Gareth reminisce at length about his time at Cardiff university.

Slow Club provided more than able support. We had expected a stripped back set reminiscent of the tone of their debut album, but instead, the duo performed a highenergy race through selected highlights as well as previewing some new numbers. Considering the audience, this was undoubtedly a wise move, with the Los Campesinos fan base responding positively to this more upbeat sound.

The majority of the crowd were clearly long-term Los Campesinosdevotees and the band responded to this, drawing on their debut album far more than would be expected. Unsurprisingly, You Me Dancing! drew the biggest reaction

of the night, with the audience only too willing to follow its central tenet.

More recent songs were also in plentiful supply. Romance is Boring and We are Beautiful, We are Doomed showcasing the bands growing musical talents and also their characteristically perverse take on the “traditional love song.”

I had half expected the newer material to sit awkwardly amongst a set with one eye on the past, but the banter with the crowd in between songs provided a suitable bridge.

The defining moment of the night was undoubtedly the encore.

Fuelled by Gareth’s reminiscing about Monday nights spent at Fun Factory, the majority of the band, instruments included, proceeded to jump down onto the dance floor and perform a raucous version of Broken Heartbeats Sound Like Breakbeats. The audience responded in style with a mass sing-along and wildly over enthusiastic dancing to help round off an evening which was a special one for band and fans alike.

Tom Rouse

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film

film Upcoming Releases Out Now Sex and the City 2, Bad Lieutenant, Four Lions, Iron Man 2, Kites, Prince of Persia, Robin Hood, Street Dance 3D, The Back-Up Plan, The Losers, [Rec] 2, 4.3.2.1, Death at a Funeral, She’s Out Of My League, The Killer Inside Me. On at Chapter Vincere,The Red Shoes, Agora, Bad Lieutenant, I Am Love, Lebanon, Eyes Wide Open, The Killer Inside Me, Kick-Ass, Robin Hood, The Milk of Sorrow.

Sex and the City 2 Ha ha, it’s so funny, they’re all massive whores! Reversal of feminism is always a truck of laughs, but middle-aged female slaggery is even more fun! So yet again these massive, MASSIVE pricks are debasing our screens, similarly saying ‘Forbidden is fun’.

It all looks the same as before, harmless shagging abroad. For no particular reason the fearful foursome go to the Middle East, I don’t remember where, it was portrayed as a generic Middle Eastern country with camels and dancers and whatnot.

At its rotten heart isn’t only a scary neo-feminist sexual morality, but also a complete absence of any artistic merit or recognition of any character development, except along the vacuous, consumerist and self-centered persons they purport. Just as i said in the cinema: Fuck Off. LG

We Like...

- Ridley Scott might be acquiring a 3D company. If anyone will make 3 dimensions meaningful, it will be the man with the golden eye.

- Inception. The brilliantly ambiguous trailer only tells us that Leo will be flung around the ‘architecture of the mind’. All I do know is that the Dark Knight-esque visuals look brilliantly paranoid.

- Predators. While this initially invited cautioun, Adrien Brody stars not as an Arnie (c)lone ranger, but part of a bunch of army cast-offs.

The predators are hunting them as game, so it looks like the chase factor could be cranked up to ten.

- Topless Robots.com. Genius nerdy distraction.Top 14 incredibly disturbing moments in Kids films?Yes. Yes, I definitely need very much to see this...

Summer Preview...

As well as the aforementioned releases, this summer may well be baking hot for film fans, and not just of the blockbuster variety.

The long awaited Toy Story 3 is hoping 3D will push it beyond infinity. Either way, it’s likely to prove its endurance against the woeful Shrek series. Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World looks capable of far more than riding the Kick-Ass indie comic book wave, and women everywhere will undoubtedly be moist with anticipation at Twilight: Eclipse for some reason.

Possibly the most exciting event of early Summer is the return of the original Godfather, Francis Ford Coppola. Those who have seen the Little White Lies: Tetro issue will be equally excited at its monochrome delving into unfilled creativity.

Trailer

Trash

film@gairrhydd.com / 63

film

BAFTA CYMRU 2010 Steve Wright journeyed on down to Cardiff Bay’s Millennium Centre for the 2010 Welsh BAFTAs to examine the cream of Welsh film talent.

T

he Welsh BAFTAs, it has to be said, are a strange beast. On one hand, nominees are predominantly selected from programs nestled away in the confines of S4C, with the movies themselves often being unknown quantities to all but the most dedicated connoisseurs of Welsh cinema. Unlike some other awards ceremonies, substance wins out over style every time.

On the other hand, scroll through a list of past award winners and attendees, and you’ll be greeted with names who would generate interest at any awards ceremony: Sirs Anthony Hopkins and Richard Attenborough, Michael Sheen, Ioan Gruffudd, Mike Leigh, Ken Russell, the list goes on and on. If nothing else, the Welsh BAFTAs certainly casts a wide net. The message is clear: Wales has a lot to give to the world of film - and is not afraid to shout it from the rooftops.

This year, the list of nominees is similarly centered on Welsh programming. For a self-confessed S4C virgin, only Doctor Who (Best Drama and Design), Torchwood (Drama, Screenwriter and Actress) and Merlin (Design and Director) are recognisable, although the inclusion of Gruff Rhys’s documentary Separado! (Titles) is a welcome one.

''A Bit of Tom Jones. Yep, that bit."

In the Best Film category, the competition is particularly intense.

First up is the hot favourite, knock-

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about comedy A Bit of Tom Jones, which quite literally, is about a bit of Tom Jones. Yep, that bit. The aforementioned appendage is sold to a couple of none-too-bright buddies, who then proceed to enter the murky and downright weird world of celebrity body part trading.

Described on the website as ‘A Film For Anyone Who’s Ever Made a Dick of Themselves’, even if it’s not the best film ever, you can’t deny its originality.

Also up is Cwcw, which darkens proceedings somewhat with its tale of suburban woe. The protagonist, Jane Jones, is on the run from her alcoholic, abusive husband and from her hated job as a screenwriter, although things swiftly take a turn for the worse as her past gradually catches up with her. With actress Eiry Thomas competing with Torchwood’s Eve Myles for Best Actress, it looks like it could be in for an interesting night.

Finally, we have Ryan a Ronnie, the acclaimed biopic of legendary entertainers Ryan Davies and Ronnie Williams. Garnering a total of six nominations, including for Best Designer and Screenwriter, it has a lot to look forward to.

Rob Brydon, at the awards to be presented with the Sian Phillips Award (previously given to the likes of Ruth Jones, Russell T. Davies and Rhys Ifans), was quick to espouse the virtues of the Welsh BAFTAs: ‘It’s very important that we have the BAFTAs here.

Wales has its own TV industry, especially with S4C, and with shows like Torchwood and Doctor Who getting recognition there’s so much activity going on here. It’s right and proper that we have our own BAFTAs.’ Also in attendance is The Office actor Martin Freeman, pass-

ing through to present the Best Actress award whilst taking a break from filming the BBC serial drama Sherlock Holmes. As well as discussing being rumoured to appear in the Jonathan Newmandirected Swinging With the Finkels, Freeman jokingly claims to only be here for the “wheelbarrows of money,” although he also puts the appeal of Wales as a filming location down to “a combination of it not being London, and the Welsh being up for it.”

''It’s right and proper that Wales has its own Baftas."

In the event of the awards themselves, it was a succesful night particularly for Ryan a Ronnie, with Peter Thornton, Meic Povey, Rhys Powys and Aled Pugh scooping Best Director of Photography, Screenwriter, Director and Actor awards respectively. A Bit of Tom Jones won Best Film, and Cwcw’s Eiry Thomas pipped Eve Myles to Best Actress.

And so that was the 2010 Welsh BAFTAs. Although it doesn’t possess the same level of star appeal as other awards ceremonies do, it is nonetheless refreshing to see Welsh talent being given the kind of recognition it would otherwise not receive.

To view the CUTV coverage of the Welsh BAFTAs, please visit www.cardiffunion.tv.

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film@gairrhydd.com / 65

film

PARTING SHORTS

It may be the end of term soon, but filmsoc are excitedly showing their first collection of short films at Chapter.

Lloyd Griffiths investigates...

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Despite only being set up this year, Diff Films has already managed to organise this collection of shorts which are being shown in Chapter this week. They successfully dominated the Student Media Awards, with Robin Morgan and Calum Daly’s Cardiff, I Love You romping away with Best Short Film. All the shorts are based around the theme ‘Cardiff’, and the irreverent short begins with a fauxBrains ‘advert’ warning you of any anti-social behaviour.

The regularly surprising shouts of ‘DRINK’ from the Beer proprietor makes sure that the following romantic tale doesn’t slide into cliche. They luckily gained access

to film in and around the museum, and the film effectively balances grounding the romance of Cardiff without seeming like an advert for the council.

Among the other shorts on show are Dental, a surreal horror based in everyones favorite form of surgery, a Kitchen drink drama-cumthriller shot in the Main building.

While 5 or 6 films only barely add up to feature film length, the counterpoint that Diff Films provides to local films and CUTV means that they should find a niche in amateur student filming in and around Cardiff.

Reserve free tickets by calling +44(0)29 2030 4400

film

Dogtooth

Dir: Giorgos Lanthimos Cast: Christos Stergioglo, Michele Valley, Mary Tsoni

F

ollowing the surreal story of a highly dysfunctional Greek family, the latest work from director Giorgos Lanthimos is certainly a little on the quirky side. The film tracks the lives of three adult children living under the protective shield of their domineering father: a man who bans his offspring not only from the outside world, but even from leaving the house.

The result is a family portrait that is beyond weird. Trapped in the house without entertainment, the children resort to cutting the limbs off plastic dolls and running their hands under boiling water to pass the time. Occasionally they take part in more wholesome activities, such as knifing each

other or sleeping with prostitutes paid for by their parents. But the fun doesn’t stop there. You can also expect graphic scenes of incest, the murder of a kitten with some garden shears and a nice prolonged scene in which the eldest smashes her teeth out with a dumbbell. All good clean fun.

“Beyond the ideas surrounding protectiveness and innocence, it’s hard to see where all the weirdness is going”

Admittedly, Dogtooth does have some funny moments. The plotline of the mysterious escaped brother and the lies surrounding his fate (he’s been mauled to death by cats) is definitely worth a laugh. And let’s be honest, any film in which a daughter mounts her father, licks his face and asks ‘Papa, can I borrow the harpoon gun?’ has got to be worth a look.

But as for what Dogtooth is actually trying to say…well that bit kind of escaped me. Beyond the ideas surrounding protectiveness and innocence that it approaches, it’s hard to see where all the weirdness is actually going. However, if you’re looking for a tense black comedy with a somewhat disturbing edge then it’s definitely worth a try. If that’s not reason enough, check out the distressed faces of fellow cinema goers: they really made it for me.

Rosie Martin

5.

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film

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

Director: Mike Newell Cast: Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton, Sir Ben Kingsley, Alfred Molina

P

rince of Persia: Insert The Something of Something follows Prince Dastan (Jake Gyllenhaal) as he roguishly romps and rollicks with an enemy Princess Tamina (Gemma Arterton) to protect the world from a mystical dagger.

The film opens with a young urchin plucked off the streets and turned into a prince. Self-plagiarism surely crossed Disney’s mind when we see Dastan free running and falling into hareems. The loss of Abu was sorely felt.

Prince of Persia is based on the video game of the same name, and the transition to screen wasn’t difficult. Quick of pace and swift of

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action, its easy to see its gaming roots, and the at-times impressive CGI will please its demographic.

But if you aren’t an eight year-old boy, its painful to watch Gyllenhaal repeat everything that we just saw in case we didn’t understand it the first time round. The script is so thin it could have been lifted straight from the game itself.

Full of caricatures, as soon as we clap eyes on uncle Sir Ben, it becomes glaringly obvious where the story is going. Molina’s goldtoothed, turban-clad businessman is a stereotype shamelessly lifted straight from Indiana Jones, although in fairness he does provide the best line in the film.

The one redeeming feature is its leads, who between them possess much-needed chemistry. This may not be her best role, but we all know Arterton is going to be big, and Donnie Darko-got-buff Gyllenhaal carries the lead well and with enough talent to ensure that this excursion won’t affect his future choice of roles.

However, if this is an indication of the standard of Hollywood films this summer, I’ll be going into hibernation. Wake me up when Jake is skinny again.

Emily Kate Bater

4.

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans Dir: Werner Herzog Cast: Nicolas Cage, Eva Mendes, Val Kilmer

A

mong the plus points to take from 2010 thus far is the welcome return of Nicolas Cage’s ability to bring crazy back. Following on from his turn as the deranged, Adam West-channelling Big Daddy in Kick-Ass, Bad Lieutenant sees him assume the role of equallyinsane New Orleans police sergeant Terrence McDonagh, detailing his descent into depravity as he snorts, smokes, shags and smashes his way through the desecrated surrounds of the New Orleans criminal underworld in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, occasionally pausing to investigate the murder he has been assigned to.

Port of Call New Orleans shares the anarchic, frenetic feel of Abel Ferrara’s original, although it must

film

be noted that this is only a loose remake. Herzog once claimed that he’d never seen Ferrara’s version, but some of the similarities the two films share are far to coincidental to give this statement credence.

Keitel forcing a teenage girl to simulate oral sex while he masturbates over her car is replaced

by Cage engaging in intercourse with another adolescent while her boyfriend is forced to watch at gunpoint, and Keitel’s coked-up school run is superseded by Cage tripping over hallucinatory iguanas at a police briefing. Subtlety is not so much damned as it is cheerfully disregarded.

If nothing else, Port of Call New Orleans is the kind of exercise in glorious unrestraint that we’ve come to expect from Herzog, giving Cage the freedom to indulge the wild side that has for too long been confined by poor career choices like The Wicker Man and Ghost Rider. This is his show: the supporting cast, including prostitute-cum-love interest Frankie (Mendes), police partner Stevie (Kilmer) and mob boss Big Fate (Xzibit) are mere window dressing.

The plot is thin and the ending unbelievable, but with Cage in this type of form you’ll be too entranced to care.

Steve Wright

7.

Cop Out

Dir: Kevin Smith Cast: Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan, Seann William Scott

A

s a regular cinema-goer and film lover, I pride myself on never having walked out on a movie. However, I have never come so close to calling it quits than when I subjected myself to the near torture that is Cop Out. I didn’t have the highest of hopes to be perfectly honest, but as a 30 Rock fan, I thought a Tracy Morgan film directed by Kevin Smith might provide some light comic relief from the recent stress of exams.

''a waste of time and celluloid."

As it turns out, I was very, very wrong. Cop Out starts at a pace so slow it practically moves back-

wards, with a frankly bizarre interrogation scene in which Morgan’s character, Paul, attempts to force a perp to confess simply by shrieking lines from other movies at him.

“lazy so-called action.”

The movie then continues to meander tiredly along, jumping from toilet humour to lazy so-called ‘action’, all the while conforming to all the stale clichés of the buddycop genre. Bruce Willis brings absolutely nothing to the role of Paul’s partner Jimmy, and the plot is so boring and unnecessarily confused (and confusing) that it’s barely worth a mention.

When Seann William Scott (no disrespect to the guy) is the best part of a film, you know something has gone wrong, and even he fails to offer more than a couple halfhearted chuckles. It’s usually easy to find the charm in this brand of silly, inane comedy, but Cop Out is a waste of time and celluloid.

Emily Cottrell

2.

film@gairrhydd.com / 69

film

BEST FILM FOR... …establishing the bound-

Showing Quirky isn’t

aries of Man

always

Love

Humpday (2009) Two straight best friends, Ben (Mark Duplass) and Andrew (Joshua Leonard) agree to have sex on camera for an adult film festival. So far, so Judd Apatow?

Surprisingly not. With a premise that sounds like every Farrelly Brothers’ wet dream, it is testament to both the performances of the main cast and input of writer/ director/producer Lynn Shelton that the end result is a laugh-out-loud comedy that somehow belies its subject matter by being witty and charming, yet also sensitive and thoughtful. Above all, few films best illustrate the strength of the bond between two best friends, and the alienation that ensues as one half inevitably drifts away.

Having been released in the same week as Avatar, this was unsurprisingly overlooked. Rectify that by watching this. Now. Steve Wright

70 /film@gairrhydd.com

crappy

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs (2009) We’ve had a flood of crappy, kooky kids films in the past few years, with movie execs apparently thinking that kids only want to see their favorite toys (Robots, Cars) or animals (Shark Tale, Ice Age) in films.

Fortunately, every now and again a genuineky heartwarming and inventive story comes along, like Cloudy…Despite the ‘kooky’ food weather idea, at the heart of this film is the main character Flint’s love for invention and the many witty visual gags. Even a talking Monkey shouting ‘EXCITED!’ at the sight of food can’t spoil the storytelling confidence and character development. Seeing a giant fortune cookie hit the Great Wall of China and say ‘You are about to be hit by a giant corn’ is one of the film’s many surprising, endearing and quirky slapstick moments; it’s a properly laugh-out-loud family film.

Lloyd Griffiths

…showing the folly of

messing with

nature

Grizzly Man (2006) In the interests of balance, it must be pointed out that bear-enthusiast Timothy Treadwell managed to survive for 13 years living in close proximity to some of the most dangerous mammals on the planet, so to dismiss his actions merely as ‘folly’ may be a bit of a misnomer considering how he managed to defy the odds for so long. However, the fact this life-spanning fascination ended with the brutal deaths of himself and his girlfriend is not lost on director Werner Herzog, who for the most part resists passing judgement on a man who could simultaneously shock with his jaw-dropping recklessness while attracting grudging praise for his unbridled passion. While Grizzly Man certainly paints a fascinating portrait of a man who spent his life polarising opinions, it certainly won’t lead to a surge in wilderness camping excursions.

Steve Wright

listings

Monday 7th Wheatus: Barfly

Tuesday 15th The Woman in Black: New Theatre

Fun Factory: Students’ Union

Wednesday 16th Captain Accident: Barfly

Tuesday 8th Full Moon Party: Students’ Union Romeo and Juliet: New Theatre Wednesday 9th Chew Lips: Cardiff Arts Institute Jonah Matranga: Barfly

A^hi^c\h ,i]"'%i] ?jcZ

Thursday 17th Broken Vinyl Club: Clwb Ifor Bach Lucy Porter: Glee Club Friday 18th Mavron Quartet: The Gate Chick Habit: Ten Feet Tall

Thursday 10th Florence and the Machine: Cooper’s Field

Saturday 19th Sabbath Bloody Sabbath: Clwb Ifor Bach

Jim Tavare: The Glee Club

Miss Julie: Chapter Arts Theatre

Friday 11th Summer Ball: Cooper’s Field

Sunday 20th Also nothing, Sundays are a good day to go to the park

The Miserable Rich: Buffalo Bar Saturday 12th Murder by Death: Barfly Cakehole Presley: The Globe Sunday 13th nothing Monday 14th James Apollo: Ten Feet Tall

Listings Pick of the Fortnight: The Summer Ball is a great night, even if the bands are not your cup of tea, so it’s probably worth going to that, especially if it’s you’re final year. If not Wheatus could be quite entertaining, everyone loves A Little Respect and that other song they did, the one about Iron Maiden.

listings@gairrhydd.com / 71

music

singles round-up Crystal Castles Celestica

7.

Big Boi Shutterbugg

9.

A Place To Bury Strangers Ego Death

7.

Fiction Records

Def Jam

Mute

Don’t let the annoying nu-ravegone-badass exterior fool you – Crystal Castles actually make quite good music. The first single from their recently released second album - which is gaining considerable praise - shows a softer side of vocalist Alice Glass as she airily croons over the usual synths and bleeps as the duo offer a newfound ambience. SR

The latest track from this one half of OutKast is superb, simply put. There’s a lot going on here, from the memorable wobbly-voice synth, the catchy high-end hooks and Big Boi’s flawless delivery of his lyrics. There’s even a nod to En Vogue’s Back to Life, Back to Reality which, despite a complete lack of subtlety, fits really well. A perfect summer tune. SS

For those familiar with A Place to Bury Stranger’s signature fuzzheavy sound, this track does little to challenge the norm. Crashing drums and obnoxiously distorted guitars swirl around the listener, whilst Oliver Ackmann’s eerie, disconnected vocals spit venom at the listener in a deafening haze of discontentment. Good stuff. SS

Sleigh Bells Tell ‘Em

7.

Tinie Tempah Frisky

4.

Christina Aguilera Not Myself Tonight

5.

Mom + Pop Records

Parlophone

RCA

It may be the first time you’ve heard of Sleigh Bells, Brooklyn’s latest export of pioneering ooberhipsters and latest victim of the hype-monster, but it certainly won’t be the last. This single from their debut album shoves fuzzy riffs and thumping drums together with astonishing aggression – it’s noisepop at its most accessible, but still not for everyone. SR

Following on from the massive success that was Pass Out, Mr Tempah’s latest single is slightly less catchy. Other than that this single is essentially a carbon copy.

The lyrics are similarly awkward but self-aware; the synths and drum sounds are almost lifted entirely from the prevoius track.

There’s even a Drum N Bass breakdown at the end. Again. SS

After 2006’s soulful Back To Basics, Xtina’s latest single comes as somewhat of a disappointment.

Generic beats, coupled with angry, rebellious lyrics, don’t quite hit the mark. The vocal performance is stellar as always but this seems like a rather forced effort to keep up with Gaga and her contemporaries. Hopefully, Ms. Aguilera genuinely isn’t herself tonight. MB

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