LIMITATIONS

As I sit down to write this, on the eve of my 28th birthday, I feel like I finally have a strong sense of direction for where my life is heading—without limitations.

Growing up in a small country town there are limitations to what you can do, where you can go, even where you can shop. You’ve got to be creative and make your own fun. I knew from early on in my life that I would be met with many limitations, but maybe not as many as my sister, cousins, aunty or uncles. You see, I am a 28-year-old Aboriginal woman living in Moree, New South Wales. That single sentence spells out many limitations. And the older I became, the more aware I was of the limitations around me. Because I am fair-skinned, with green eyes, dark hair and freckles, you could easily mistake me for someone who’s not of Aboriginal descent. I didn’t endure the watchful looks of shopkeepers or have to take my hat or hood off to enter a store as my sister and many of our family members have had to. I didn’t have to ‘dress up’ to go into the local real estate agency to apply for a house, just to be completely overlooked by the receptionist and then watch my white husband receive the information I had been asking for just a minute before he walked in.

I am very aware that because of my fair skin, my limitations don’t match those of my sister, who is BLESSED with the most gorgeous caramel skin. My sister’s limitations in life are greater than my own simply because of her skin, so I take up the baton for her every single day of my life.

I am the manager of the Yaama Ganu Centre gallery and café. I love my job. I get to wake up every morning and work with an awesome café crew; train staff to make great coffee; and educate people about our art and culture. I oversee operations on both sides of the business. In terms of business growth, I’d like to believe that it’s limitless. I’d like to believe that with the right team, a bit of guidance and steady minds, we can achieve our business goals. I do believe in working hard and making the most of what you are given in this life.

Nevetheless, there are many aspects of my life when, at times, I feel limited or feel like it’s a struggle to break through creative barriers. As a working mother of two little girls, I feel like I don’t spend enough time with my babies. On the other hand, I don’t commit enough time to my work.

But I don’t stay with those thoughts—I don’t sit in front of these barriers—I try my best to break away and find new ways to move forward. Because if I don’t do it, who will? I push through for my family and my community. Just by me accepting my current position, it has driven a lot of change within my workplace. The way I see it is: if I’m going, we are all going. If I’m making a success of things, then my family and community is sharing that success.

So, yes, I acknowledge that I have met with limitations and barriers across all areas of my life as a young 28-year-old Aboriginal woman from Moree. It gives you thick skin; it gives you grit. I choose, every day, to wake up, overcome, drive change and be better. I don’t want my limitations to define me. I am more than a statistic; I am more than a ticked box. I feel that with every success, small or large, I want us all to gain from it, because if I’m going, we’re all going. n

Words Leah Carr Photograph Hugh Stewart Opposite page Leah Carr with her daughters Aria, three, and Ella, four.