Strike Three Kathy Polich

By Kathy Polich

Iadore watching my sons at whatever activity they are doing. As the boys have grown up and trickled off, the baby is all that remains. Now, please don’t tell my 16-year-old I called him a baby. He’s taller, faster, and stronger than his momma. Although, if you are at one of his baseball games this spring, you will hear me cheering for him, and sometimes I still call him Cookie. Over the weekend at a baseball tournament, I watched as his team struggled and lost three in a row. As the player’s and coaches’ frustration increased, so did the parents. I caught myself almost joining in with whining jeers instead of uplifting cheers. You know the ones. “What are you guys doing?” “Come on, wake up, you have to catch those!” or something along the lines of, “You have to be smarter at the plate!”

Now, humor me and go back and reread those. This time use the voice your perfectionist parent or mean teacher used when you were a kid. Or maybe the voice your spouse uses when they nag you. Sit in that for a second, and ask yourself, “How could that be beneficial?” If you can come up with any answers, please let me know! Because all I see when it happens is the collective team body language lose confidence. If you have the Gallup Journey App, you can read my article from March of 2019 titled: THERE’S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL! UNLESS YOU ARE THE PARENTS! I guess I better go back and reread that one myself!

I’m going to shift focus and speak to that player walking back to the dugout after striking out. If you are thinking, “I can’t hit!” or “I’m not good enough!” or, “What if people laugh at me?” Now consider what would happen if you changed your thoughts to, “I’m a hitter, next time, I’ll smash it!” or “I am good enough!” and “So what if people laugh at me!” You can control your thoughts and feelings and, in turn, your behavior. In my article from February of this year, I wrote about some of the rules of the mind. One of my favorites is that your mind believes anything you tell it, good or bad, true or false, right or wrong. So the takeaway is to say to yourself good things. If parents, coaches, or other fans are bringing you down. Become your own cheerleader! You know what you need to adjust. Drown out their negativity with your positive cheerleader! If you have the guts or at least an open line of communication with your folks, ask them to try the following. Instead of pointing out what is wrong, have them rephrase it positively if they have to cheer. For example, if you are lifting your head right when you swing, ask them not to yell that, but to say something like, “You’ve got this, keep your head down!”

Changing your words is super important, so you don’t get bogged down in a looping thought. If we are still using baseball as our example, this is where slumps can start. A negative looping thought goes like this:

Thought- My teammates don’t like me. I’m not pulling my weight batting. Not batting well makes me feel sad, scared, and upset.

Feeling- When I feel sad, scared, or upset, I lack confidence.

Action- When I go up to the plate without confidence, I strikeout.

Thought-When I strike out, I feel like I’m not good enough, and my teammates don’t like me.

See how this is a never-ending loop. Go back and reword each phrase to a positive spin and turn that into a positive looping thought. Does that mean you don’t have accountability for mistakes? Not at all, but it will allow you to focus on a task and skill-specific errors and not get demolished by self-deprecating talk. In the end, you can fix a lousy batting stance if you don’t believe you are lousy at batting! But if you think you can’t hit the ball, does your batting stance matter?

Well, wish me luck and say a prayer I can heed my advice. I am off to watch my baby, Cookie, play ball. Strike that last sentence. I will watch my very mature teenager, and his buddies try and overcome their negative looping thoughts. I hope the Gods of baseball don’t smite me if I lose it for a brief second and forget there is no crying in baseball!

If you are interested in getting to the root of your negative looping thoughts and getting rid of them for good, visit my website at: www.championride.org or email me at championride.kpolich@gmail.com

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