EVERYDAY...A STORY OF ALZHEIMER’S

BY MELISSA ELLIS

Everyday seems like a great thing when you think of dessert or vacations. Some dread working out every day or going to work and some love it. With Alzheimer’s, everyday’s an adventure. Three years ago, my mother was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. It was mostly the topic of cute little jokes and making light of funny recollections. But as things progressed, funny is not really a word I would use to describe the “everyday”.

Alzheimer’s disease affects patients differently. My mother has always had the gift of gab and tells interesting stories. That is still the case...One of the biggest adjustments has been “Joining her in her reality”.

Like most Americans, our everyday life consists of tasks and routines. We are tasked with taking medication, activities of daily living and meals. Now we spend some time every day on car rides. My mom since being diagnosed has not been able to drive. She cannot stand that we do not allow her to drive. She often makes threats of buying a new car so she can go and do what she wants. Or going walking up I-75. Unfortunately, this is not a reality. So EVERYDAY, we make it a point to take my mom out. Sometimes just for a ride to run errands, shopping, or out to eat. She always loved to shop so we have had to learn how to window shop, but still shop nonetheless.

Alzheimer’s disease affects patients differently. My mother has always had the gift of gab and tells interesting stories. That is still the case. Now the details that were once intricate are muddled with other memories and sometimes delusions of things that never happened. Still makes for an interesting story. One of the biggest adjustments has been “Joining her in her reality”. In reading on the disease, they advise caregivers to join their loved one in the reality that they present instead of correcting them. It was really hard at first. It just did not seem right letting her believe the things she was making up or was getting mixed up. But I did begin to notice how it made her feel when she was corrected. You could see the disappointment and worry in her face. It was like she did not understand at times. So, I began just agreeing with her on things if it wasn’t anything serious or harmful. I remember going to CVS on one of our daily outings. When we got in the car, she immediately cut in talking about how rude the cashier was. I agreed and added some mmmhmmms. In reality, that cashier was perfectly appropriate. She was not rude and helped us just as she would anyone else. But instead of correcting, I agreed and laughed as we dogged the lady out for being rude. The cashier never knew a thing, my mom was supported.

We are believing in God for total restoration of my mother’s mental faculties. And everyday we confess His will and divine healing. For those who are caregivers, continue to be encouraged. Find resources and support and most importantly take care of yourselves. I am encouraged that we have everyday together until God says otherwise. So, wave when you see us out and about… everyday.