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Hell and back

Dante’s Inferno producer Jonathan Knight guides us through the nine circles of hell

Nintendo DSi

We examine the new system’s features and see how the portable compares to the DS Lite!

SOCOM: Confrontation / Empire: Total War / Wanted / Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars

april/may | 2009

gamefreaks PLAYSTATION 3 / PS2 / XBOX 360 / WII / WINDOWS / PSP / NINTENDO DS / HARDWARE / DVD

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80

Hell and back

Dante’s Inferno producer Jonathan Knight guides us through the nine circles of hell

nintendo dSi

We examine the new system’s features and see how the portable compares to the DS Lite!

SOCOM: CONfRONTATION / EMPIRE: TOTAL WAR / WANTED / GRAND THEfT AuTO: CHINATOWN WARS

editorial

contents coming soon

14 inFamous X-Men Origins: Wolverine 15 X-Blades Dynasty Warriors: Gundam 2 16 Guitar Hero: Metallica Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad 17 Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard Rock Revolution

reviews 20 MadWorld 22 SOCOM: Confrontation 23 Empire: Total War 24 Wanted 25 Resistance: Retribution 26 Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars 28 The Wheelman 29 Legends of Wrestlemania Peggle

featured 12 Interview:

10 New

Consoles Revealed

Zeebo and OnLive are trying to change the way we consume video games - we sent our own Matt Risley to investigate

08 Hands

Dante’s Inferno

Adrian Hatwell speaks with Executive Producer Jonathan Knight about the complicated process of adapting a famous piece of literature into a hit EA title.

On: Nintendo DSi

Adrian Hatwell get some hands-on time with Nintendo’s new portable. Find out how the new system compares to the DS Lite.

movies 32 Quantum of Solace In Bruges Saw V 33 First Snow RockNRolla Donkey Punch 34 Rain of the Children Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Hulk Vs. 36 The Transporter 3 Shark: Season One Shrooms 37 Young @ Heart Persepolis

I feel the need to address one of the biggest stories from the GDC, The OnLive ‘console’. It sounds wonderful - being able to play the latest games on that rag tag old laptop you’ve had collecting dust for the sheer fact that it runs like a three legged dog and has a graphics card that gasps when playing a movie.

It’s either one of the most awesome April Fools pranks played on us in years, or another Phantom like grab for investor money from tech investors.

I have no doubt that it does ‘technically’ work. However what hasn’t been looked at in the press is just how impossibly expensive the whole operation will be.

Look at it this way. A server is a computer. Yes it’s got some fancy features and extra plugs but in the end a computer it is. This means it runs with the same rules as a computer, to play a game it needs processing speeds, RAM and a 3D graphics card, especially to play something as demanding as Crysis.

I’m sure the servers that the OnLive chaps have can do this no problem.

Then picture the same server running two copies of Crysis at the same time, then five, ten, a hundred, a thousand (try it on your own computer with multiple games, I dare you). The result is everything running slowly. Ridiculously slowly. And these servers are supposed to project the game to your PC’s over what I pray are high speed internet connections. Yes it could be done but they would need a lot of servers.

Youtube is probably the most well known of streaming services and it’s a lot less demanding than running a game on your behalf - it’s only putting out low res videos that use a fraction of a server’s processing power. Last year Youtube lost Google close to half a billion USD. Most of this would have been from the sheer scale of keeping the whole damm system going.

So who’s going to tell me that a start up company without the financial muscle of the likes of Google or Microsoft is going to be able to go with that kind of loss as well as the setup cost?

Nigel Clark - Editor

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Tenth Planet Publishing Limited Phone: 09 625 2879 Email: mail@tenthplanet.co.nz

advertising Tenth Planet Publishing Limited Phone: 09 625 2879 Email: jon@tenthplanet.co.nz

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Publisher: Jon Minifie jon@tenthplanet.co.nz Editor: Nigel Clark nigel@tenthplanet.co.nz Design: Scott Judson scott@tenthplanet.co.nz Words: Lee Marrett, Adrian Hatwell, Stan McGuigan, Julie Gray, Caleb Judson, David Kelly, Damian Seeto

thanks Aaron, Adrian, Amanda, Angely, Annie, Ben, BNE, Bob, Bruce, Clare, Craig, Danny, Dave, David, Drew, Ewan, Gary, Haley, Ian, Isabella, Jacqui, Jemma, Jen, Jeremy, Julie, Justine, Kate, Katie, Keith, Keri, Leigh, Leroy, Luc, Mark, Matthew, Mike, Paul, Pip, Samantha, Scott, Simon, Teresa, Zeljana The contents of Gamefreaks are copyright and may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the consent of the publishers.

The views and opinions expressed in Gamefreaks are not necessarily those of the publisher.

SCEE selects a new President

Obsidian Games named to develop Fallout Vegas

Bethesda announce that Obsidian Entertainment are working on a Fallout spin-off game Fallout: Las Vegas.

The game, releasing next year, is being developed for the PS3, X360, and PC. Bethesda are stressing that Obsidian’s game is a brand new instalment to the Fallout series, not a spin-off or sequel to Fallout 3, and as such will have no impact on the follow up to the 2008 release.

At this time there is little known about the game, how it will be positioned within the Fallout universe, or how similar it will be to previous titles.

The news of Obsidian’s involvement with Fallout has excited long-time fans of the series due to the company’s connection with early Fallout games. Obsidian Entertainment formed from the rubble of Black Isle Studios, developers of the first two Fallout titles.

Many of Obsidian’s employees are former Black Isle developers, including current CEO, Feargus Urquhart, who helped found Black Isle and was instru-

mental in producing early Fallout games.

Apparently Bethesda first approached Obsidian about working on the new game, and both companies are reported to be enjoying working together.

As well as the incredibly successful postapocalyptic Role Playing Game, Fallout 3, Bethesda are best known for creating the popular RPG series The Elder Scrolls.

Obsidian Entertainment has also made a name for themselves in the RPG circuit, developing the acclaimed Knights of the Old Republic II and Neverwinter Nights 2.

In addition to Fallout, Black Isle Studios had worked on the Icewind Dale, Planetscape, and Baldur’s Gate series before their dissolution in 1998.

Sony Computer Entertainment Inc announced that Andrew House (pictured above right), Chief Marketing Officer and Group Executive of Sony Corporation, has been named President, Chief Executive Officer and Co-Chief Operating Officer of Sony Computer Entertainment Europe, replacing the retiring David Reeves.

“I’m very happy to welcome Andrew back to the PlayStation business and to work closely with him again” said Kazuo Hirai, President and Group CEO, Sony Computer Entertainment. “I’m confident that the skills and expertise Andy has gained over the years working as Sony’s CMO will contribute enormously in leading the PlayStation business in Europe/PAL countries and regions and to bring new initiatives in managing the business in the coming networked era.”

“I’m delighted to return to the PlayStation fold and excited to take on this new challenge,” said Andrew House, “I have strong ties to the interactive entertainment industry and I believe there is huge potential for further growth of our business in the Europe/PAL countries and regions, particularly in the area of networked entertainment.”

RockStar announce Max Payne 3 RockStar Vancouver is working on the next installment of Max Payne Rockstar Games has revealed that Max Payne 3 is currently in development and scheduled for a summer 2009 release on the Xbox 360, Playstation 3 and PC. Developed by Rockstar Vancouver, Max Payne 3 tells the story of a retired police detective embroiled in a world of corruption, turmoil and intense violence.

The award-winning Max Payne franchise put players in the role of Max Payne, a hard-boiled New York City detective with a penchant for violence, out to avenge the

death of his family. The latest installment delivers more of the classic elements and hyper-intense action that fans have come to love, while moving the story of Max in a new direction.

Since leaving the NYPD and New York itself behind, Max has drifted from bad to worse. Double-crossed and a long way from home, Max is now trapped in a city full of violence and bloodshed, using his weapons and instincts in a desperate search for the truth and a way out.

Islamic Conference removes online Faith Fighter game Videogame developer Molleindustria has issued a retraction of its internet-based Faith Fighter game. Faith Fighter, which allows players to pit religious figureheads (Muhammad against Jesus for example) against each other in a good ol’ round of fisticuffs, has been available online as a fairly basic flash beat-em-up for almost a year before London’s Metro newspaper flagged it out for specific sensationalist... we mean ‘valuable’ coverage. Unsurprisingly, many a Christian/Hindu/ Muslim/Scientologist spokesperson soon expressed ‘considerable outrage’ (is there any other kind?), and the game was taken down from the official site.

Hilariously, the developer soon posted a not-at-all sarcastic sequel, Faith Fighter 2. Essentially a fighting game without the fighting, it was accompanied by a statement that confirms Faith Fighter 2 is a “game about tolerance. Your goal is to give love and respect to all the religious entities on the screen.”

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New Ratchet & Clank title in the works Insomniac announce Ratchet & Clank: A Crack In Time for the PlayStation 3 Ever wanted to travel back in time? This Winter Ratchet and Clank are back on Playstation 3 like you’ve never seen them before – and they’re on a mission to save the future!! Get ready for another round of intergalactic chaos with Ratchet and Clank: A Crack In Time, the latest addition to Sony Computer Entertainment Europe’s multi-million selling Ratchet and Clank franchise.

Concluding the events that began in Ratchet & Clank: Tools of Destruction and Ratchet & Clank: Quest for Booty, Ratchet & Clank: A Crack in Time will answer

some of the franchise fans’ biggest questions. After discovering that lovable robot Clank’s disappearance was engineered

by Dr. Nefarious, the Wrench-swinging Ratchet races to save his best friend.

Along the way, both will finally uncover the hidden truth behind their origins, and discover their ultimate destinies. As the duo come closer to reuniting, they’ll have to ask themselves the biggest question of all: Do Ratchet and Clank’s destinies lie with each other? Or is it finally time for the universe’s greatest duo to separate for good?

Protesters arrested at antiarmy video game rally

Highly addictive Chimeran virus spreading fast

First Swine flu, now the Chimeran Virus – what’s next? Gamefreaks staffer Stan McGuigan takes the mercy pill The Sony PR think-tank went into overdrive in its efforts to promote the latest PSP title Resistance Retribution. Clad in World War II era bio-suits, virus testing special kits containing the game were carefully delivered to a select few. I was lucky enough to receive one of these kits, much to the surprise of all within my workplace.

After initially testing negative for the strain I was permitted to play the game, however within a few short hours I found myself both addicted and somewhat

strained. The medical team who were monitoring the situation deemed it necessary to again test my Resistance to the virus. Unfortunately for me I had been infected and this left me with the unfortunate choice of either calling the emergency hotline for advice; connecting the PSP to PS3 (to attempt to purge the system); or the ultimate sacrifice – take the mercy pill to end it all!

Of course I took the mercy pill but that Resistance plague has spread quickly – now you have the chance to win the

very test kit that was so carefully delivered to me (don’t worry all supplies have been restocked). Not only does the kit contain a copy of the PSP game, but also carefully hand crafted documentation and testing kits – all in an authentic military steel case. Believe me, these kits are rare as hens’ teeth and calling them limited edition doesn’t do them justice. To win this kit, simply visit the Gamefreaks website, watch the movie and answer this simple question – Which Super 14 Rugby team does Stan support?

Seven protesters were arrested earlier this month at a rally against the American Military’s new Army Experience Center, which uses video games as a tool for army recruitment. Activists wearing white masks were taken into custody at the conclusion of the peaceful protest after refusing to disperse.

The focus of the protest was Philidelphia’s new Army Experience Center (AEC), which is kitted out with sofas, gaming chairs, Xbxo 360s, PCs, and speakers blasting good keen Uncle Sam-approved rock.

The peaceful protest was arranged to highlight what anti-war activists believe to be abhorrent military recruitment practices that seduce impressionable youths through video games glorifying war.

The protest attracted an estimated 300 concerned citizens who marched to Franklin Mills mall to deliver a ‘criminal complaint’ to the US Army recruiters stationed there.

The arrests were not violent, with all seven anti-war protestors submitting to handcuffs and being lead away following their act of civil disobedience.

The games playable at the AEC include Halo 3, Madden NFL 09, Gears of War 2, World of Warcraft and America’s Army.

During the rally protesters could be heard chanting, “War is Not a Game, Shut Down the Army Experience Center” while carrying banners and placards of a similar nature.

An official at the AEC responded to the protest by trotting out the party line, “We don’t contact you unless you want to be contacted. You get to touch and feel about the Army here…plus we have 23 active duty soldiers here who can share their Army story with you.”

Downloadable content available now for Killzone 2

Bioshock movie budget blow out Budget concerns stop production of BioShock movie at Universal Uh-oh. We can smell another ‘Halo’ a-brewing. It turns out that the muchanticipated/fearfully dreaded (depending on your love of Pirates of the Caribbean) Gore Verbinski-directed movie adaptation of Bioshock has been officially ‘stalled’.

While the picture was officially in pre-production, Universal Pictures has announced that it has halted the process after the budget rose to a rather sphincter-tightening $160m (USD). In contrast to the videogame industry, which this year announced record profits, it seems that that the recession is well and truly hitting Hollywood hard and the studio also announced that a number of production staff have been let go.

“We were asked by Universal to move the film outside the U.S. to take advantage of a tax credit,” Verbinski said. “We

are evaluating whether this is something we want to do. In the meantime, the film is in a holding pattern.”

Far be it from us to demand CGI for the sake of it, but we at Gamefreaks are fairly unified in our belief that the Bioshock movie will become little more than another Street Fighter/Resident Evil/House of the Dead (we could go on) crappy videogame to film adaptation without a budget big enough to recreate Rapture – the game’s visually stunning underwater city - in all its spectacular, visionary glory.

While spokespeople (and Gore himself) have reiterated their determination to seeing this through, we can’t help but feel this sounds eerily similar to what happened to the live-action adaptation of Halo. Which was slated for a 2008 release.

The first downloadable content for Killzone 2 on the Playstation 3 is on its way in the form of the Steel & Titanium Pack: a download featuring two all-new maps for Warzone, Killzone 2’s online multiplayer mode where up to 32 players battle it out on PlayStation Network. New from Sony Computer Entertainment Europe, the Steel & Titanium pack will expand the Killzone 2 experience even further with the Wasteland Bullet map and the Vekta Cruiser map: two new crucibles of combat filled with danger and opportunities to dish out punishment for the opposition.

In the Wasteland Bullet map, the action will take place on the bullet train that links Pyrrhus and the Wasteland and transports much needed goods and troops between the two regions. The game is a frenzied firefight to wrestle complete control of the train away from the enemy and into the hands of your faction. With the train hurtling at full speed, you’ll need to remain aware of your immediate environment as well as your enemies – hitting an overhead obstacle at this speed will mean instant death. In the Vekta Cruiser map, ISA troops aboard a vast ship must repel a force of assaulting Helghast troops whilst also protecting the cruiser itself from heavy Helghan fire. The action

takes place entirely indoors in a hauntingly claustrophobic game where attackers lurk around every corner.

Released this February, the acclaimed Killzone 2 puts players at the forefront of a daring interplanetary invasion of the terrifying planet Helghan, pitting two fearsome forces – the ISA and the Helghast – against each other in an incredibly hostile warzone..

Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 coming November 10 Infinity Ward’s anticipated Call of Duty sequel Modern Warfare 2 will be released worldwide early November Hotly anticipated first-person shooter Modern Warfare 2 was given a release date of November 10 2009 via a teaser trailer released at the Game Developer Choice Awards.

The game is a sequel to the critically acclaimed Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, one of the most highly praised releases of 2007.

Developed by Infinity Ward, the team behind previous incarnations of the Call of Duty series, and published by Activision, Modern Warfare 2 will be the sixth title in the popular war series.

The game’s teaser trailer can currently be viewed at Infinity Ward’s website, or downloaded from both Xbox Live Marketplace and the PlayStation Network.

Interestingly the game’s title has been changed from the tentative Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, to the more concise Modern Warfare 2, though it is still officially part of the Call of Duty series.

Little specifics are known so far, the game’s plot is still a mystery and no similarities or divergences from the previous title have been announced so far.

It has been revealed that voice actor Ken Lally will be lending his talents to the game, though his actual role was not specified. Lally has previously provided the physical basis for Resident Evil character Albert Wesker.

The original Modern

Warfare title was praised for its high level of immersion and intensity unmatched in the genre, as well as its deeply absorbing multiplayer features.

Infinity Ward are responsible for developing a majority of the titles in the wildly successful Call of Duty series, including the original, Call of Duty 2, and Call

of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. They did not develop the series’ latest instalment, Call of Duty: World at War. Activision, who in 2008 merged with Vevendi Games to become Activision Blizzard, have published many of the industry’s biggest titles such as the Tony Hawk series, the Quake series, and later Guitar Hero titles.

Video Game Industry heavyweights battling it out in court -- again

Valve has filed a complaint against Activision over the underpayment of royalties awarded earlier this month, totalling just over USD $424,000. Activision has said that the amount was determined by previous overpayment of royalties to Valve, and that if the court awards the money to Valve, Activision will counter sue for its return.

According to a complaint issued April 28 to a district court in Washington, which was unearthed by GamePolitics, Activision paid only USD 1,967,796 million of the 2,391,932 amount a court arbitrator ordered on April 6, claiming that the remaining sum of USD 424,136 was a reclamation of previously overpaid royalties.

According to Valve’s complaint, this allegation of an overpayment “was not the subject of a Notice of Dispute as required by the Audit Agreement and was not discussed during the CFO conference between the parties, which the parties agreed in the Audit Agreement was intended to have the parties ‘confer and attempt to resolve the Dispute...’”

On April 22, Activision said to Valve that it would not pay the remaining sum, and that if the award was granted by the court, it would counter sue Valve seeking recovery on the overpayment claim. The April 28 complaint confirms that Valve is indeed seeking the fee, as well as further damages.

This legal battle began in 2002, when Valve brought suit against Sierra Entertainment for unpaid royalties resulting from its distribution of Valve titles that included the Half-Life franchise. The suit was inherited by Activision in 2008, after its purchase of Sierra-Vivendi.

The judgement in the amount of USD 2.4 million was finally granted earlier this month.

Fallout cancels Fallujah shooter

Konami decide against publishing game based on the 2004 battle in Iraq

Microsoft rolls out Sidewinder X3

Introducing the newest addition to the popular SideWinder Gaming range This eight-button, ambidextrous gaming mouse delivers comfort for either hand along with the performance features fans of SideWinder products know and love.

These include a 2,000 dots-per-inch (dpi) laser-tracking engine with on-the-fly dpi switching between high, medium and low sensitivity.

The SideWinder X3 is easy on the wallet without skimping on performance, offering gamers a set of featwures to help keep them ahead of the competition.

“In-game comfort continues to be a key consideration for PC gamers,” said Danica Aitken, ANZ Product Marketing Manager, Internet Communications Hardware for Microsoft. “With that in mind the SideWinder X3 has been designed to be ambidextrous and small in size. It’s ideal

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for gaming as well as everyday use.”

The SideWinder X3 Mouse joins a stable of powerful SideWinder gaming peripherals including the SideWinder X8 Mouse, the first mouse to offer best-in-class tracking with Microsoft BlueTrack Technology and the SideWinder X5 Mouse – a fast, powerful gaming mouse designed to help give mainstream gamers that competitive edge, the original Sidewinder Mouse and the revolutionary Sidewinder X6 Keyboard.

“We have designed a gaming range which gives mainstream and hardcore gamers alike, a choice of premium quality products across several price-points,” Ms Aitken said. “The SideWinder X3 is the latest addition offering versatility and value for money.”

Konami have announced that they will no longer be publishing the controversial third-person shooter Six Days in Fallujah.

Developed by Atomic Games, Six Days in Fallujah was to be the first video game to focus explicitly on the real events of Operation Iraqi Freedom, specifically the devastating Second Battle of Fallujah.

The game’s announcement was met with instant criticism from various war veterans and peace groups, who object to exploiting the events of a real, very recent battle for video game material, believing it to trivialise and disrespect those that were involved.

It is not yet known if Atomic Games will seek to have the game published at another company, Six Days in Fallujah was not due for release until 2010.

The game was put together with input from Marines who had been deployed during the battle; the first-hand accounts, journals, and photographs of more than 30 soldiers were used to create a sense

of authenticity.

Family members of slain soldiers have voiced concern over the game’s attempt to portray the problematic material, insisting that creating a game to glorify the enormous loss of life in Iraq is in poor judgement, and that offering it as entertainment trivialises the horrific events.

The UK peace group, Stop The War Coalition also condemned the idea of the game, calling the battle that killed an estimated 1,000 civilians a war crime, one that should not be glamorised and glossed over for entertainment as a video game.

Atomic Game’s president Peter Tamte continues to defend the game, insisting that the title handles the grave material with respect and authenticity.

Tamte was quoted as saying, “the debate about the politics, that is something for the politicians to worry about.

We’re focused now on what actually happened on the ground.”

OUT MARCH

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www.sega-australia.com

Hands On:

Nintendo DSi Early this month Nintendo launched the latest iteration in their phenomenally successful portable gaming line, the Nintendo DSi. Taking over from the DS Lite as premiere handheld gaming device, the DSi is more of an upgrade than an entirely new product although new functions will no doubt open the system’s appeal to an even broader audience.

Superficially the machine looks very similar to the previous model; both are slick clamshell designs which house dual screens, one of which is touch-sensitive. Upon closer inspection, however, the DSi is a fraction slimmed than the DS Lite (which was itself a lot slimmer than the original Nintendo DS model) and boasts larger, brighter screens. Perhaps most significantly, the model also contains two cameras - one facing inward at the user and the other pointing away at the outside world.

From a strictly gaming perspective the new system doesn’t immediately jump out as a ‘must have’ product, the DSi plays regular Nintendo DS games and there has yet to be released any software that makes specific use of the DSi’s new features. However, within a few minutes of toying around with the machine it becomes apparent that a gaming perspective is no longer the sole focus for Nintendo’s handheld.

In fact, as soon as one lays hands on the DSi it gives the sensation of being a very sleek and entirely broader piece of equipment. Its elegant matte finish is a much more appropriate texture for a machine intended to spend so much time in the company of fingerprints, furthermore it lends the DSi a more solid feel than the glossy casing of the DS Lite. Upon flicking open the device one is met with two beaming panels, if they don’t at once seem much bigger than the previous model there is no mistaking their brighter glow.

The DSi interface borrows heavily from that used by it’s parent console, the Nintendo Wii. Just as the Wii used a series of channels to differentiate its functions, the DSi divides its utilities amongst a row of squares, easily navigated with the flick of a stylus. On an initial tour its almost impossible not to dive straight into the twin camera function, it is seamlessly simple to use and within seconds you’ll be warping grinning mug shots like a eccentric professional.

The manipulation software allows a raft of basic preset alterations, such as warping a portrait into sad or happy faces, combining the features of two separate faces, throwing up kitty whiskers, puffy moustaches, and Super Mario hats, or simply editing colour settings. It’s not Photoshop but it’s easily as addictive as those arcade photo booths, any newcomer to the system with find at least a few minutes of unadulterated photo shenanigans hard to pass up.

The two cameras, the ability to save pictures to the DSi’s desktop, or share amongst friends via wireless internet connection or SD card, it is all part of the new machine’s tack as a more personal, versatile system; not just something used to play games. It’s the kind of strategy that has worked out unprecedentedly well for Nintendo in regards to the Wii, but it is also the kind of philosophy that may cause the more hardcore contingent to baulk knowing full well that their rather niche needs now make up a tiny sliver of Nintendo’s new, inclusive family of customers.

The removal of the ability to play Gameboy Advance titles on the DS might well be thought of as evidence of such a shift; all previous incarnations of Nintendo’s handheld included an extra slot for GBA cartridges, a feature jettisoned in the DSi in order to accommodate a slimmer

focus

build. While I doubt many will mourn the loss too heavily (we’ve all had plenty of time to get used to the GBA’s ailing health) forthcoming DSi-specific software will have to make a convincing argument that the sacrifice was necessary.

The DSi isn’t the first version of the machine to support Wi-Fi Internet connection, but early exposure to the service indicates it will likely be the best yet. That the new machine can connect to the Internet via a WAPencrypted signal where previous models could not shows that Nintendo have worked to ensure that the DSi’s online functions are as simple to use as possible.

Borrowing further from the Nintendo Wii’s success, the DSi’s new online component closely mimics the Wii Shop. Here gamers can purchase DSiware titles, small downloadable applications and games, in exchange for Nintendo points (previously known as Wii Points). Initially available is a free web browser that will allow your DSi to surf the net, along with a limited selection of DSiware games at various price points.

Amongst the downloadable games so far available are two Art Style titles, simple but addictive games designed to resemble vivid modern art styles. Aquite is a novel twist on Tetris in which coloured blocks must be aligned so that a diver can continue to explore deeper and deeper into the ocean. Code is a mathematical puzzle game in which a grid of numbers must be aligned so that neighbouring digits add to 10. Both games were quick, hassle free downloads and absorbing fun to play.

The Nintendo DSi is an undeniably lovely machine; it looks elegant and has the functionality to back it up.

The only real quandary is whether or not it is an essential upgrade, and that will entirely depend on your demands as a user. Those looking for a robust, easy to use device for both gaming and non-gaming purposes will not find the DSi wanting. Those with a strict gaming focus who already own a DS Lite might find the price point difficult to justify.

However, with its online functions and new hardware features it is likely that handheld game development will evolve to fit the DSi more snugly, making it all the more relevant as time goes by.

Within a few minutes of toying around it becomes apparent that a gaming perspective is no longer the sole focus for Nintendo’s handheld

The two cameras, the ability to save pictures or share amongst friends is all part of a more personal, versatile system

So many features, so little time…

If you’ve ever messed around with the iPhoto program on a Macbook, you’ll probably dig what Nintendo’s doing with the DSi’s dual cameras. You can stretch a photo, much like Mario’s face in Super Mario 64, as well as play with a bunch of cool picture modes.

The DSi also comes with a pretty snazzy audio player and recorder that has some bells and whistles your MP3 player probably doesn’t.

With Wi-Fi and a dedicated memory slot, Nintendo is finally allowing the DSi to enter the wonderful world of downloadable games. And with an SD storage slot, you can store music, movies and games, and, hopefully, can download firmware updates so that the DSi can keep up with the times.

Anyone who’s emerged from the bi-annual garage cleanout clutching the tattered, boxed remains of a Gizmondo, Virtual Boy or Nokia N-Gage will know all too well how fleeting the promise of a ‘new console’ can be.

This time though, it’s looking increasingly likely that the Next Big Thing might actually live up to the promise, with two contenders potentially wielding enough groundbreaking ingenuity to change the face of the console landscape forever.

Imagine that instead of buying the PS4, XBOX 2180 or the Poo (surely that’s Nintendo’s next logical naming choice?) in 5 years time, you just sit at home with the same technology you’ve got now. The same TV, the same console, the same control pad and more than likely wearing the same old pair of pants. But when you switch on your screen, you suddenly have the world’s most cutting-edge gaming being pumped through your broadband service straight onto your TV and entry-level PC or Mac. Welcome to OnLive.

The idea behind a Games On Demand service isn’t a new one, but it seems that the boffins behind OnLive have spent enough time (7 years), money and focused nerdy intelligence to actually make it a reality. From the sounds of it, it’s literally as easy as downloading a program to your Mac or PC, or hooking up an OnLive ‘micro-console’ to your TV, ensuring you’ve got a standard broadband service and then just streaming the game of your choice and playing it in real time.

If the games get more sophisticated, there’s no need to upgrade to a new console; OnLive just improves its servers instead.

Numerous gaming bigwigs are supporting the service, and the system will launch with the backing of 10 publishers – including Take-Two Interactive, Warner Bros, Atari Interactive, Electronic Arts and Ubisoft. OnLive’s boss Steve Perlman has admitted that pretty much every one of those companies thought it was too good to be true until they tried it.

10 focus

There is, of course, the potential for great disaster.

Anyone who’s ever played online will know the curse, irritant and downright infuriant that is ‘lag’. Just a split second’s lag can completely ruin the gaming experience, and for a service built on the foundations of a speedy streaming service, this could be a killer. Similarly, we can’t ever see Nintendo, Sony or Microsoft signing over their key gaming properties (Mario, Halo, Metal Gear Solid) to what is essentially a gaming iTunes.

So while you’ll be able to download and play a whole heap of third-party, quality software, you’ll still have to fork out for the individual consoles to play the big guns.

Another intriguing addition to the market is the Brazilian designed Zeebo console.

Similar in concept, users buy the system

with three games already installed and then more can be downloaded via wireless broadband. As opposed to a direct competitor to the current next gen systems, Zeebo is aimed at emerging markets as a more affordable alternative. That said, with backing such as EA, Activision, Namco, Capcom, id Software and Sega, it’s certainly striving to make its own impact on a videogame market currently booming against all the recession-odds.

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wii

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playstation

Game On @ ClearnetGames.co.nz

Dante’s Inferno has to be one of the coolest premises for a video game yet, in fact we’re surprised nobody has taken advantage of it before. It’s especially exciting when the team behind last year’s excellent survival horror Dead Space is taking the job of developing.

We were fortunate enough to get some more details on Dante’s Inferno from Executive Producer and Creative Director Jonathan Knight.

Can you please tell our readers who you are and what it is that you do.

Hi my name is Jonathan Knight, and I’m the Executive Producer and Creative Director on Dante’s Inferno.

We don’t see a lot of games based on medieval epic poetry, what was it about The Divine Comedy that jumped out as video game fodder?

Well, initially what jumped out at me was Dante’s sense of how Hell is ordered and structured. He describes it as nine circles, or rings, descending down to the center of the Earth. It actually lays out a lot like a level-based video game, and I thought it would be really cool to theme levels after sins.

While we haven’t seen much of the game at this point, small glimpses suggest the game diverges massively from the original narrative. Would you say the video game adaptation captures the spirit of Dante’s work?

Actually, we are being fairly true to the literature in many respects, although when it comes to the plot line, we are definitely taking some liberties to help adapt it into the videogame medium. Early on, it was obvious to me that the poem lacks a strong narrative throughline; very little actually happens, and there isn’t enough conflict and action to make for a great video game.

What we did was to update a few of the characters, introduce more depth to their pasts and their relationships, and create a new story that fits right into the framework of the poem. Keep in mind that the real Dante Alighieri once fought in the Italian civil wars, so we have built upon that and made him into a warrior. We’ve given both Beatrice and Lucifer bigger roles in the story, so that—together with Dante’s dark past—a really unique drama around the “triangle” of their relationship could be established.

The result is something that feels very much in line with the core narrative of the poem (Dante’s journey through the Afterlife to reach Beatrice), but amped up to make a stronger, more compelling story.

I’m not sure how great the overlap between Literature graduates and gamers is, why was it important that

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Dante’s Inferno be re-imagined, rather than starting with a wholly new premise?

Well the first direction I wanted to go in was a game that was very dark, set in the medieval notion of the Afterlife, and steeped in history and legend. So we started looking into those elements, and very early on in the research, it became obvious to me that one man had thought more about the topic than anyone else: Dante Alighieri. His vision for Hell is so detailed, so well thought-out, that it just started to make more and more sense that we should adapt his great work for the new medium, rather than try to come up with a take on the Afterlife that would be less sophisticated.

Dante’s character in the poem isn’t exactly a headbusting demon slayer; the Roman poet Vergil just leads him passively through hell. What is Dante doing in hell this time that makes him a more proactive lead?

Our story starts with Dante returning home from war to find his true love Beatrice murdered. Her spirit rises from her body, but is lured into Hell by the shadow form of Lucifer. With Virgil’s help, he chases them through the gates of Hell, determined to get Beatrice back. He fights for love, and spends most of the game killing his way through Hell to save her.

And that’s a crucifix stitched into the flesh of his chest, correct? What’s the deal there?

That’s a tapestry that Dante has stitched into his chest in the shape of a cross. The tapestry contains little scenes that are literally the sins of Dante’s past. They’re going to help tell the story of our hero as we find out he’s not just fighting for Beatrice, but also for his own redemption.

He’s a pretty big player in the text, does Virgil appear in the game?

Yes, of course!

One of the central conceits of Dante’s Inferno is that sinners in hell have their punishments dolled out with generous helpings of poetic irony, are we going to

see this aspect in the game?

We’re certainly going to represent the various punishments described in the poem, although I fully admit that some of the subtle ironies that come across when you read the original may get lost in the fast-paced action of the game. But hopefully the game will encourage people to learn more about the poem.

The supernatural beasties that appear in the teaser look more HR Giger than neoclassical engravings, what was the thinking behind the game’s visual design?

A tremendous amount of thought and energy has gone into the visual design. We’ve tapped some incredibly talented concept artists, like Wayne Barlowe, and have also spent a tremendous amount of time researching what’s been done in the past by artists attempting to bring Dante’s imagination to life on canvas, in sculpture, in film. We have definitely updated some of the characters, trying to ride that line between the familiar, the descriptions in the poem, and fresh new ideas.

We have seen Dante caving in skulls with a crucifix and felling demons with some kind of spine-scythe, can you give us more of an idea as to what Dante’s arsenal or powers will consist of?

Along with the Scythe, which Dante takes from Death himself after the game’s opening battle, you’ll have a Holy Cross that was given to Dante by Beatrice. Dante uses the Scythe and Cross in combination, and will also earn a bunch of additional powers throughout the game.

Teaser images of a mythological figure doing battle with gods and monsters begs obvious God of War comparisons, what features set Dante’s Inferno apart from other such action adventure games?

The biggest thing that sets it apart from God of War is the 1500 years or so between ancient mythology and the medieval Christian worldview that Dante captured so brilliantly in his poem. The source material informs the level design, the characters, the story, none of which have ever been done in a game before quite the way Dante imagined them. The various powers and mechanics of Dante’s cross give him abilities that are unique to the mythos.

All of that, plus some more surprises, and a consistent 60 frames per second throughout, we think will make the game a unique must have experience.

Most of what we have seen of the game focus on action, though it seems like contemplative exploration, as in ICO and Shadow of the Colossus, might be a good fit for Date’s work, will we see anything like that in the game?

We’re building a 3rd person action game that’s melee-

driven and has a strong cinematic through-line. We want the player to feel both exhilaration and accomplishment.

There is a spectacular mix of fighting, puzzle solving, dramatic timed sequences, platforming, huge set pieces, boss fights, enemy variety, and epic story telling. We set out to make a game that never gets old, is always offering fresh scenarios, and I think we’re going to deliver beyond people’s expectations.

What sort of music accompanies Dante’s descent through the nine circles?

We’ll have more announcements about the music later in the year, we’ve lined up some amazing talent to deliver a score worthy of the subject matter.

Are you at all worried that mixing video game violence with fundamental Christian imagery might stir up controversy of some kind?

No, we’re certainly not the first game to do that. What’s unique about what we are doing is that we are following the literature more closely than anyone has done, because we think the poem is an incredible platform for a game. It’s a work of fiction, and that’s how people should view it.

Inferno is just a third of Dante’s Divine Comedy, followed by Purgatorio and Paradiso - sounds like a convenient setup for a game trilogy. Are their already sequels planned or will that depend on Inferno’s success?

Personally I would love to deliver the whole trilogy, I’ve thought a bit about how to do it, and I know that EA would love to see a trilogy as well. For now, though, we just have to focus on making Part One as great as we can make it.

Universal Pictures have already snapped up the rights to make a film based on your game, even before the title has seen the light of day, what can you tell us about that?

The movie project is something that we are excited about, but it’s in a very early conceptual phase. Universal recently announced that Dan Harris, who wrote X-Men 2 and Superman Returns, will be taking a crack at the first script. We’ll see what happens!

I have an admission to make; back at University I was supposed to read The Divine Comedy as part of my English degree and never actually finished it. Honestly now, have you ever read the poem?

I’ve read it many times over, a couple of different translations. It’s definitely recommended reading… just make sure you set aside some quite time so you can concentrate. It takes commitment!

inFamous PlayStation 3 / SCE

inFamous is an upcoming third-person game set in a sandbox world created exclusively for the PS3. I was lucky enough to spend some hands on time with it and am delighted to say that it is looking very good indeed. Sucker Punch (the team behind Sly Cooper) has put together a game which plays similar to Star Wars: The Force Unleashed and the aforementioned Sly Raccoon. In fact anyone who has played a Sly game will instantly see the resemblance in all the moves from jumping to wall climbing.

The game follows the story of Cole McGrath who is a resident of the fictional Empire City. Cole is caught in a blast that destroys several city blocks and awakens with electricity based special powers. As Cole you must choose between playing the superhero or villain; of course I chose the villain and fried everyone who came near me. The actions you take will make an immediate impact in the game. Once I starting killing everyone, people began running on sight or throwing rocks. The side you take will also reflect in your powers; evil is more destructive and good allows for healing powers. inFamous is looking like a hot title, that will have you shooting sparks in no time flat.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine Multiplatform / Activision

Raven Software’s upcoming Origins title XMen Origins: Wolverine will let you explore Wolverine’s, um, origins, while he slices, dices, chops and mops his way through any number of sinister mercenary types to uncover his true identity. We’ve so far only seen a few of the multitude of levels that will eventually become available: Jungle, which sets the pace and shows you how to control the hairy laconic beast, Alkali, which sees Wolverine making his way out

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of a military installation (can’t think why), Spillway which is all about dodging a vast and unrelenting torrent of water and a fantastic skydiving level which has you leap from chopper to chopper like a, well, like a man-beast with huge claws. There’s loads of fun to be had here and we’re stoked that so far, X-Men Origins: Wolverine doesn’t look like it’s diluted the Wolverine franchise one little bit. Keep an eye out for this; it’s going to be clawsome.

X-Blade

PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, PC / UbiSoft

If you read about X-Blades you could easily be mistaken for thinking that you are about to explore a world created by Square Enix; it reeks of Final Fantasy. You are a scantily clad female fighter called Ayumi who is equipped with gun blades and spells. It’s a classic tale of good vs evil where two powerful beings representing light and dark battle it out using mankind as tools until the Enlightened finally traps the Dark One into an artefact, sealing away the essence of evil but at the same time losing his own powers. The game begins with the discovery of a map showing where the artefacts can be found.

Dynasty Warriors: Gundam 2 PlayStation 3, Xbox 360 / Konami

Koei’s Dynasty Warriors series have been going like the Energizer Bunny since 1997; the crazy mix of action and tactics has its fair share of both haters and fans but it’s fair to say the series had been running pretty stagnant of late. That is, until Koei had the bright idea of adding giant combat robots into the mix! OK, even that didn’t make a mediocre series great, but

hell at least there were robots! The newest addition to the series, Dynasty Warriors: Gundam 2 won’t make you feel any better about the series either, but the added bonus of boss battles, downloadable content and online multiplayer might just combine like Voltron to form a higher being and order you to buy a copy.

To be fair that’s as far as the comparisons (with FF) really go, the game is a hack,n,slash where monsters are both encountered in preset numbers and via ‘Monster Generators’ which spawn both standard and Boss baddies. You can acquire power-ups by collecting sets of coin fragments. These power-ups include combat techniques, magic, weapon enhancement and teleportation. More importantly you can choose to align yourself with either good or evil and your choice will dictate the ending of the game.

Guitar Hero: Metallica

PS3, Xbox 360, PC / Activision

No matter what the Spice Girls fans may say, there is simply no band greater suited to the Guitar Hero franchise than Metallica.

After tantalisingly teasing appearances on Legends of Rock and World Tour, Metallica have jumped in riff-neck deep with this metal-heavy collection that offers up over 45 tracks of killer tunes. With over half of that track-list ripped from the band’s own catalogue, fans are guaranteed to find at least a couple of tracks from the band’s first five albums and a scattering of stuff from their other four. You’ll get the full band whammy here with guitar, bass, drums and vocals all supported, and while it isn’t as thorough or progressive as a yearly update, there are a couple of notable changes. An unlockable mode called Drum Over allows aspiring Lars-ers to turn off the required notes for the drums and – brilliantly - just bash away at the drumpad to their own rhythm. Most importantly though, this is undoubtedly a fan-faithful version of the franchise and is stuffed to the rafters with extras that seem modified specifically for the fans – the presentation is immense and there’s a whole heap of fan-shot videos from tiny club gigs, galleries of photos and tour notes from past and present. Rock on!

Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad PS3, Xbox 360 / D3

Sometimes a situation is so heavy a single samurai isn’t enough, you need a whole squad. And sometimes that squad wears Bikinis. As I understand it that’s the basic premise behind Tamsoft’s Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad. And by ‘as I understand it’ I mean that’s what it says in the title.

Part of publisher D3’s ‘Simple series’ of budget-priced console games, Onechanbara looks as if it embraces the glorious tradition of low budget creativity with gusto. Not only are the vixens of this all-female samurai troupe scantily clad, they’re also dripping with the gore from a thousand eviscerated zombies. If there

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is one thing Onechanbara promises it is lascivious trash with no apologies.

The game is a straightforward hack and slash, combining multiple protagonists and the standard endless stream of disposable enemies. Expected modifiers to gameplay like a ‘rage meter’ mingle with slightly less traditional elements like the ‘gore meter’ that monitors the amount intestinal splatter on weapon; if it gets too high the blade dulls and risks getting stuck in the next enemy to be cleaved.

I’m not sure Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad has anything to offer beyond what’s in the title, but to be honest I’m not sure how much else it really needs.

Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard PlayStation 3, Xbox 360 / D3

Developed by Vicious Cycle Software Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard is a third person action shooter for the 360 and PS3. Taking on the role of Matt, you are a legendary gaming hero wanting to make a comeback after falling in popularity due to a few bad choices made. Matt is a self proclaimed hard-man with claims of heroic deeds such as the time he ‘nailed that English chick that raids catacombs (Lara)’.

Eat Lead is a third-person shooter imple-

menting an over the shoulder camera perspective with combat emphasizing a duck and cover system, using walls and other objects in the game’s environment. Matt can only carry two weapons, however there are upgrades available for temporary effects such as freezing enemies. What’s interesting in this game is the fact that it is a parody of many popular games, actors and hero’s. If Matt isn’t going around saving the world he is continually poking fun at any other gaming legend that crosses his path. You’ll see plenty of ‘somewhat familiar’ references and names in here including Master Chief, Mario Brothers, Bugs Bunny etc. An interesting tile that should pack as many laughs as punches.

Rock Revolution PS3, Xbox 360, Wii, DS / Konami

Missing the bandwagon by only a year or so, Konami decide to try their hand at the rock band simulation racket. If the marginal differences between Rock Band and Guitar Hero made two games dedicated to he same niche seem superfluous then get ready to explore new regions of the unnecessary with the wholly redundant Rock Revolution.

Aside from a new track list, comprised of high schooler favourites from a halfdecade ago such as Papa Roach, Avril Lavigne, and Blink 182, Rock Revolution looks to offer nothing that hasn’t already been explored thoroughly by the rock sims before it.

Wisely realising that they couldn’t reinvent the wheel, Rock Revolution doesn’t offer a new take on the guitar peripheral, instead being compatible with most versions already on the market. Oddly they didn’t make the same obvious leap when it came to the drum kit, delivering yet another living room obstacle for the rabid music game purveyor.

The timing on this is so far off it’s hard to imagine Rock Revolution being able to skim much off an already fairly played out trend at all, but if you’re really in the market for even more virtual rocking then Konami have your back, apparently.

MadWorld

Nintendo Wii owners get their second dose of ‘mature gaming’ in as many months with Sega’s MadWorld, an unrepentantly gruesome brawler with an eye-catching black and white aesthetic.

Coming on the heels of the blood- and profanity-laden House of the Dead: Overkill, MadWorld is another welcome change of tone from the traditional, family-friendly Wii atmosphere. Gamers not particularly interested in getting fit or taking part in waggle sports have long cried out to Nintendo in abandonment, and it looks like Sega are the first company to step up and take a stab at what must be a fairly sizable hardcore demographic.

And what a bloody, violent stab it is.

Like a cross between Escape from New York and Sin City, MadWorld sees a town locked down by terrorists who have turned the streets into a giant reality TV show called DeathWatch. Contestants, willing and otherwise, compete to see who can commit the most abhorrently brutal crimes against each other in order to score points, attract sponsors, and please the insatiable home viewers.

Players take control of Jack, a gravely mechanic with a retractable chainsaw

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strapped to his forearm, hell-bent on winning the contest for his own mysterious reasons. Looking like a slightly less demonic version of Hellboy, the stoic hardass cuts a swath of dismembered limbs as he progresses through the various regions of embattled Varrigan City.

The game is a brawler in the classic tradition, there’s very little else to the game but wading through streets, killing goon after worthless goon in the most imaginatively horrific manner possible. Jack can deliver a series of bunt punches before finishing his enemies with a fancy death animation, or cut right to the chase and unleash his chainsaw, cleaving bad guys in two for an instant death.

However, the game rewards a more artistic bent to genocide, awarding greater points for slower, more varied beatdowns that include various objects within the environments. Enemies can be impaled on sign posts, jammed into flaming barrels, cut in half by heavy dumpster

lids, even mashed up by oncoming traffic, and the more you can chain together the greater your score.

Upon earning enough points each level delivers a weapon of some kind to keep the flaying and gouging interesting.

Indeed, the streets run red with blood; MadWorld wades unflinchingly into mindless violence territory, forever goading players to cripple and eviscerate with more creative glee, watchdogs and parent groups be damned. One can’t help but admire the game’s enthusiasm, but unfortunately large stretches of the game lack the quality to back it up.

Like almost every brawler ever birthed, MadWorld suffers from gore fatigue; that wall a player hits when bending someone’s spine in two no longer holds any shock or appeal. A giddily excited attitude towards all things violent is well and good, but when the same excitement can’t be inspired within the player for the title’s duration the blood and guts start to seem gratuitous, repetitive, and even a little unnecessary. It’s a problem MadWorld succumbs to fairly early on in the game, but the developers have done their best to

shake things up from level to level.

Upon ploughing through an appropriate amount of chainsaw-fodder, monotonous brawling is punctuated by a level-specific minigame known as a BloodBath Challenge. These games take uninhibited violence to new, comic levels, tasking you with increasingly ridiculous ways of committing murder on a grand scale. One game sees the player whacking goons with a baseball bat into a giant dartboard, while another has Jack turning pesky ninjas into man-sized meat fireworks.

Simple and absurd though they may be,

MadWorld wades unflinchingly into mindless violence territory, always goading players to cripple and eviscerate with more creative glee

the BloodBath Challenges work as a welcome reprieve from the game’s often tedious brawling.

Another, less successful strategy to break up the game’s repetitive main thrust comes in the form of the ever-pervasive vehicle level. Like any badass worth his salt, Jack rides a hog. Every now and again he likes to hit the highway and commit vehicular homicide instead of garden-variety homicide. These levels are frustratingly undercooked, however, involving limited steering of the motorcycle and two basic attacks; grab left or

slash right. The result looks cool but just isn’t any fun at all.

After accruing enough points in each level by bashing omnipresent henchmen, Jack is able to battle a DeathWatch champion. These bosses are typically hulking monsters of some descript, although the occasional lithe femme fatale slips in, and each have their own unique fighting style (or rather an easily interpreted movement pattern). Despite the fairly routine nature of the battles, the character designs and cinematic bent of the game aesthetic usually lend an exciting theatricality to the cli-

mactic duals.

MadWorld isn’t exactly heavy on plot and the few twists and turns that have been shoehorned in strive for a level of seriousness that really isn’t very becoming of the title. The characters all take on aspects of a typical B-movie cast, but neither the humour nor testosterone of it all plays very well; so much so that I had to turn the aggressively lame commentators off in order to continue playing. Luckily its not something to get hung up on, as the exposition rarely intrudes upon action.

By far the game’s most striking aspect is its bold colour palate; rendered in stark black and white with only jets of bright red blood to colour the screen. The look is supposedly modelled after Frank Miller’s art style in Sin City, but that’s a bit of

a disservice to Mr. Miller. Where Sin City made fantastic use of strong negative space, MadWorld looks more like a clutter of undifferentiated detail; with only black and white to distinguish busy environments the world can become confusing and difficult to look at. The style works best when artfully controlled during noninteractive scenes.

While it’s certainly not a great game, it is difficult to begrudge MadWorld many of its flaws; despite gameplay being a tad mundane the game is still the most strikingly aggressive, and outright unfriendly game on the Wii in far too long. Variety is something the system desperately needs, and MadWorld is a confident step in that direction.

Summary

details

A nasty little brawler that isn’t afraid to corrupt the Wii’s core audience, MadWorld might not be the tightest game on the shelf but you would be hard pressed to find another so gleefully happy just to be bad.

Genre: Beat ‘em Up Publisher: SEGA Developer: Platinum Games Platform: Wii Released: 27th March Website: www.sega.com/madworld/ Players: 1+ Rating: R18 Price: $89.99 Reviewer: Adrian Hatwell

Did You Know?

If Jack’s husky voice sounds familiar that’s probably because it was provided by veteran voice acting tough guy Steven Blum, the tonsils behind X-Men’s Wolverine and Cowboy Bebop’s Spike Spiegel.

Experience thrilling 32-player online combat featuring stunning high-definition visuals, advanced physics, ballistics, impact and destruction modeling

SOCOM: Confrontation

It’s taken its sweet time getting here, having already been released in the US since last October, but now we can play Slant Six Games’ third-person online multiplayer shooter, do we really want to? We found that while it certainly has its merits, SOCOM Confrontation falls a bit short of a truly great tactical shooter.

The SOCOM series has been a solid performer for the PlayStation since way back in the heady days of the PS2. Countless hours have been spent stalking, sniping, sneaking and fighting through jungle, swamps and mountainous terrain; the joy of making your way across a map to take out specific objectives along the way is hard to describe. SOCOM has mostly always offered a nice mix of offline and online action but now, with SOCOM Confrontation, the action has moved completely online, taking away all option of a single player mode. We can’t say it was a terrible idea, mostly because it’s not a terrible idea, but somehow SOCOM Confrontation just doesn’t work as well as an online tactical multiplayer shooter should.

Naturally, since you can no longer use a

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squad of fake soldiers to do your bidding, you need to use actuall “teamwork” to get the job done. SOCOM Confrontation pits Mercenaries against Special Forces in a wide variety of game modes. Just to keep things fair you take turns playing each side. The modes available to date are Extraction, Escort, Suppression Elimination, Breach, Control and Demolition.

They’re all pretty self explanatory; Escort for example has your squad shifting someone important from one location to another while you get pelted from above by explosives and Demolition is almost like CounterStrike: plant bombs all around the map while you work feverishly at disarming your opponents’. There are only seven maps available for now (apparently more will be offered for download soon,

hopefully) and while they’re particularly impressive in both their size and their prettiness, we thought only offering seven maps for a game only playable online was a bit stingy.

Before you start each game, as is the SOCOM way you’re able to choose a weapons configuration; you can take a primary and a secondary weapon in with you along with various other specialised pieces of kit. Your character can also be modified; you can change their looks and increase or decrease their body armour, but believe us when we tell you that beefing your armour up to maximum makes you slow as hell -- all the kids will tease you for being a complete fatty.

Unfortunately, we found more things that annoyed us about SOCOM Confrontation than things we wanted to come back for, and ultimately that made the experience pretty short-lived. While we were playing the game was plagued with network issues; for every game we played there were several we were kicked from.

There were also more than the odd freezing problem, the only solution for which is total restartage.

It’s not a complete loss however; the game looks completely amazing and if the promised content updates and bug fixing patches can solve some of the issues we faced, then we’d start to see some real action happening.

Summary

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Beautifully presented tactical multiplayer action, marred by a long install process, long loading times, annoying bugs and a lack of content, SOCOM could be great but without a decent patch or two you’re better off spending your money on Rainbow Six.

Platform: PS3 Genre: Third-person Shooter Publisher: SCE Developer: Slant Six Games Players: 2-32 Website: www.socom.com Rating: R16 Release date: 19th March Writer: Lee Marrett

Did You Know?

The U.S Navy SEALS were founded in 1961. Many of it’s initial members were from the Navy’s Underwater Demolitions Team which saw amphibious covert operations in World War Two.

The detail on the ships is astonishing: you can zoom in to watch sailors taking pot-shots at nearby enemies, or see decks of guns frenziedly reloading

Empire: Total War

Set in the 18th century, Empire: Total War has eleven playable nations spread across the Europe, North American, and Indian continents.

You control one of these nations and build up armies, administer the economy, invade rival countries, and handle diplomatic relationships. When conflict arises on the land or sea you move into real-time battle mode to manage thousands of units deploying a wide range of tactics to (hopefully) crush your enemies. In the campaign view time moves in a turn based manner allowing you to take as long as needed to get your empire organised before progressing. Each country has a different set of conditions defining the territories and time they must be held for to achieve victory.

It quickly became apparent that this is a massive game high on detail and historical accuracy which will keep the serious war gamers happy. The four campaign tutorial adds the games complexities gradually as

you manage George Washington and his army along the road to independence and you acquire a few small towns to manage.

The interface is intuitive and presented me no problems following the usual point, select, and click style of many 3d strategy games. The campaign map is full of detail and is where you manage army deployments, diplomatic alliances, and trade agreements.

Land battles are amazing as you scramble to factor reload times and firing arcs into your strategy. Gunpowder smoke wafts over the battlefield as realistic yells of incredibly detailed men receive and carry out your orders or scream in agony as cannonballs rip through their ranks.

The thunder of cannon and musket fire

mingled with the battle cries of infantry or bayonet charges add to the realism.

Conducting naval battles was new to me and I was impressed by the level of detail as individual sailors fired muskets from the rigging or man cannons while cannonballs shatter masts and sails. In fact the naval battles are almost too realistic and managing multiple ships with differing rates of turn, and wind and weather changes can be tricky – while maneuvering to deliver the perfect broadside with a Ship of the line the rest of your fleet can ‘wander off’ if you are not paying attention.

The AI can be a bit dumb during diplomacy often continuing to make the same undervalued offer every round with no change in tactic or value. The AI also never used a naval invasion against me, even when set to the highest level of difficulty – I cannot see how this can be intentional so I hope it will be fixed in an upcoming patch. In the context of this incredible game these are minor problems and I would recommend it to anyone who wants to get lost in a visually amazing and strategically challenging war game.

Summary

The latest addition to the Total War series includes naval combat and poses a fair temptation to spend days on end lost in empire building.

Mind blowing graphics and sound suck you into detailed 3d strategy and empire management which could be daunting to inexperienced strategy gamers – be warned you will need a very powerful PC to enjoy all this game has to offer.

Did You Know?

George Washington was appointed as commander-in-chief of the American revolutionary forces in 1775, later serving the first American President from 1789 to 1797.

details Genre: Strategy Publisher: SEGA Developer: The Creative Assembly Platform: PC Released: 6th March Website: http://www.sega.com Players: 1+ Rating: M Price: $99.99 Reviewer: David Kelly

Wanted the movie featured some raw, violent, and jawdropping special effects in the film industry -- Weapons of Fate continues this tradition without pulling any punches

Wanted: Weapons of Fate

Wanted: Weapons of Fate is the latest in a stupendously long list of titles based on blockbuster films. The movie had a strong cast featuring James McAvoy, Angelina Jolie and Morgan Freeman as members of a super-powered assassin’s guild that took care of God’s bidding.

The game’s plot picks up after the events in the movie where Wesley seeks out the French chapter of The Fraternity, intent on hunting down The Immortal and finally discovering the truth about his family.

You have to admit it was rather strange that a such a high calibre movie wasn’t released with an accompanying game.

I mean come on. The story is perfect for gamers -- an average Joe suddenly discovers he has special powers and becomes part of an elite assassin squad!

Still, better late than never I guess. Perhaps the nine odd month wait was needed to make sure that they got it right, and I certainly applaud any developer or publisher willing to blow a deadline to ensure releasing a quality product.

What they’ve come up with is essentially a third person action shooter in a similar vein to Bourne Supremacy. The gun-

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play is nonstop and the action frenetic; you needn’t worry about friendly fire as everyone seems to be fair game. Your ‘super-powers’ come in the form of an adrenaline rush. Wesley is one of a special breed of humans who can harness the power of adrenaline to perform amazing feats such as moving incredibly fast and curving bullets around things. As you make kills, you’ll gain adrenaline which is shown in the upper right hand corner as silver bullets for empty, and red bullets for adrenaline. You gain one adrenaline point for gun kills, and two adrenaline points for knife kills. For one adrenaline point, the player can arc the trajectory of bullets (as depicted in the film) by adjusting the line of fire prior to pulling the trigger. The bullet can hit multiple targets in one curve.

The game will also reward you for taking advantage of cover. As well as providing

protection, you will be able to fire blindly to supress enemies, giving you time to quickly move and perform flanking manoevres. In the right spot you will be able to deal death most swiftly with both revolvers and the knife. I preferred the latter as it gave more adrenaline boosts and saved ammunition. In the right circumstances you can even grab enemies and use them as human shields.

There are three aptly named difficulty options in the game; the easiest being “Pussy”, progressing to “Assassin”, and the toughest being “The Killer”, the name of the main protagonist of the comic series. As you can imagine this game is not at all suitable for younger ones - there is plenty of colourful language and admi-

rably gratuitious violence.

The overall concept of the game is pretty good but there are issues with the execution. At times your enemies find flimsy cover that is hilariously inappropriate; ducking behind small cardboard boxes wouldn’t give me a great deal of confidence during any sort of gun battle - especially with my butt hanging out the side. The game does tend to get a bit repetitive as well, even with a mixture of sniper rifle or turret levels, the routine can become rather familiar. I still enjoyed the game’s fast paced action, solid graphics, bullet time action sequences and innovative bullet curving system. It’s a fairly fun romp for anyone who enjoyed the film.

Summary

details

Fast paced action and physics-defying bullet curving make this modern day assassins caper a fun filled affair. Repetitive gameplay and an at times ridiculous cover system hold this one back from an otherwise solid purchase.

Platform: PS3, Xbox 360, PC Genre: Third Person Action Publisher: Warner Brothers Developer: Grin Website: thewanted.warnerbros.com/ Players: 1 player Rating: M Price: $ 119.99 Writer: Stan McGuigan

Did You Know?

Award winning Scottish comic book writer Mark Millar was the creative genius behind Wanted. He was also heavily involved in the 2000AD series and won the Stan Lee award in 2007.

Resistance Retribution is a standalone title that stacks up favourably against its much bigger PS3 rivals in terms of action and gameplay.

Resistance Retribution

The Resistance universe comes to the handheld in this 3rd person shooter set only weeks after Resistance: Fall of Man. Retribution follows the story of former British Marine James Grayson who is set on a personal vendetta to destroy every conversion centre he can find. However, in Western Europe the Chimera have evolved and the European Resistance have requested aid, so Grayson is let loose once again in Operation Overstrike to retake the continent.

The first thing I noticed when I stated Retribution up was the fact that it was Bend Studio and not Insomniac who developed it. I wondered if Insomniac’s high standards would be compromised, but luckily my fears were alleviated with what turned out to be a solid addition to the platform.

As mentioned, this one follows on after the events of Fall of Man with a new hero ex-British Royal Marine Lieutenant James Grayson. James was forced to kill his own brother who had become infected at a

conversion centre. This pushed him over the edge and set him on a rampage of destruction, deserting the army to allow him to fuel his bloodlust at will. Upon capture Grayson is branded a deserter, where his only salvation is a request for help from the French Marquis.

The single player campaign will take you around 10 hours to complete and mostly involves finding cover and shooting between rounds of enemy fire. It has a great auto-aim facility making it easier

to play as a shooter, given the PSP’s button limitations. What this means is that although the game is a 3rd person shooter there is very little aiming involved. You can manually aim but this is only useful in situations where the enemy is not advancing on mass.

There are several different Multiplayer modes available in Retribution supporting up to eight players clan functionality, voice chat, and twelve ranks to unlock. It is quite incredible for a handheld and offers

more options than many current console titles. It’s easy to become addicted to the game, and the only limitations are in the less-than-perfect control schemes, and the competition on consoles. Graphically the game is sound and although some would argue that a handheld cannot truly support any shooter, Retribution holds its own. This one packs the same punch on the PSP that Killzone 2 has done for the PS3.

Summary

details

The best shooter to hit the PSP yet, with impressive multi-player support you’d expect from a console. Repetitive combat and somewhat awkward controls won’t stop this being a contender for handheld game of the year.

Platform: PSP Genre: 3rd Person Shooter Publisher: SCE Developer: Bend Studio Released: March 26 Website: www.us.playstation.com/ Players: 1-8 Rating: M Price: $79.95 Reviewer: Stan McGuigan

Did You Know?

Developers Sony Bend, formerly, was known as Eidetic, Inc. until their purchase by SCEA in 2000, is best known for producing the popular Syphon Filter series.

This is GTA on a smaller screen, but by no means a smaller scale. Liberty City is still massive and teeming with life -- all wonderfully rendered in surprising detail.

Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars

A match made in potential controversy heaven, the sweet and innocent Nintendo DS gets hitched to a series from the very wrongest side of the tracks. Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars does the kind of naughty things to your DS you only ever dared dream.

When it was first announced that an original Grand Theft Auto title was in development for the Nintendo DS it sounded like a perfect bit of cross-promotion, the world’s best selling game machine meets one of the most popular series of all time, however nobody could quite picture how it would all work out. As it happens, with Rockstar Leeds and Rockstar North working together to pull out all the stops, it would work out quite brilliantly indeed.

We all had a perfect right to be sceptical; the sprawling, intricate urban tapestry of Liberty City doesn’t exactly jump out as ideal fodder for a machine that is more often that not used as a dumping ground for shovelware, minigame collections, and movie tie-ins. But the artisans at Rockstar remembered what so many had until now forgotten; that rush of potential we all felt when the DS was first released, it was a

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unique piece of hardware ripe for innovation.

The game once again shows us the untamed Liberty City through fresh eyes, this time as a young Huang Lee, spoilt son of a recently murdered Triad leader. Liberty City is where Huang was born but he has spent recent years living the good life abroad on his father’s crooked dime. With the mysterious death of his father Huang is once again called home, to deliver a supposed heirloom sword to the family’s new number one. Needless to say, things don’t go well.

The game is presented in a way the melds the ground-level view of recent GTA titles with the top-down perspective of earlier entries to the series. The player can position a fully rotatable camera to observe a scene angled above the action.

This style allows the DS to overlook the

more minute details of Liberty City as presented in GTA 4 while still offering a familiar, easily navigated rendition of the iconic map. The visuals are rendered in a charming cel-shaded style, giving the title a solid, bold comic book-type aesthetic that remains knowingly hard-boiled.

The entire rhythm of the game has been remixed to a more appropriate tempo for handheld gaming. Gone are lengthy missions involving long drives, extended shoot-outs, and epic getaways. Instead the game delivers it’s mini-missions in a rapidly succeeded bursts; it’s easy enough to pick the game up and fly through a handful of story points in five minutes, but the machine-gun delivery of each job also makes Chinatown an absolute devil to put

down. If you can shake yourself free of the manically bounding grindhouse story, however, you’ll still likely be addicted to the game’s drug running element for days to come.

Rockstar have performed the seemingly impossible task of shrinking the incredibly busy Grand Theft Auto onto two tiny screens so well that they almost make it look easy. The game is bold, engaging, addictive, stylish, and just plain irresistible.

Easily one of the greatest games on the Nintendo DS (and if we take RPGs off the table it’s unequivocally first place), Chinatown Wars is a triumphant challenge to all other DS developers; handheld gaming is no longer an excuse for second-rate products.

Summary

details

Chinatown Great graphics, Warsaisswag exactly loadthe of kind new of tricks game and the features, Nintendo a decent DS hasmulbeen tiplayer offering gagging for, evidence and a that way handheld cool soundtrack gamingmore is worth thanthe make effort. up The for the slightly irritating game’s appeal crosses physicsthe andhardcore-casual the unfortunately divide clunky and off-board does more action. justice to the series than seemed possible.

Platform: PS3, DS Xbox 360 Genre: Sandbox Skating Publisher: Rockstar EA Black Games Box Developer: Rockstar ElectronicNorth Arts Players: 1+20th March Released: Website: www.rockstargames.com skate.ea.com Rating: M1 Players: RRP: $119.99 Rating: R16 Release Price: $69.99 date: Available now Wrtier: Adrian Writer: Lee Marrett Hatwell

Did You Know?

Did You In 2005, thenKnow?

Fallout publisher’s Interplay, once a power in the game

There are aworld publishing total of effectively 80 drug shut dealers its doors. skulking In around 2007 it’s Liberty gone City. through If you a rebirth can findofhalf sorts of through them you selling get the offgolden IP suchbinoculars as Falloutaward, and plans findto them resurall rect you and onceare long rewarded gone franchises with the Titanium such as Baldur’s BriefcaseGate, award.

Earthworm Jim and a Fallout MMORPG which is unrelated to the latest release.

Wheelman relishes in the fact that’s it’s a big, dumb action game and that’s precisely the reason that it’s kind of fun...

Wheelman

It’s not as though anybody is expecting great things from Vin Diesel, but getting digitized for Wheelman might just have been his worst choice of role yet. Think GTA in Barcelona but without any of the things that make GTA or Barcelona cool.

A cheesy action hero let lose in a sandbox world to commit heinous vehicular crimes and spectacularly stupid stunts; it might not be the stuff of literature but Wheelman certainly sounded like it would deliver on big dumb action. And in a way it does, the emphasis is just a little too heavy on dumb for the game to be any kind of pleasurable, guilty or otherwise.

The game revolves around Diesel’s undercover getaway driver, Milo, who has been sucked out of retirement and into a Spanish gang war. At least I think that’s what it is about; the game does such a horrible job at conveying its plot that I’m not entirely clear on many of the facts. For example I’m not really sure whom Milo has gone undercover for, why, and what any of it has to do with occasionally driving people around in a taxi.

Mere trifles, to be sure, but that’s the kind of obsessive detail I like to see in a story.

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As the Wheelman you are tasked with ingratiating yourself with the local ruffians, working with the three major gangs of the Barcelona area in order to track down some documents that are, apparently, very very important. The city of Barcelona then becomes your criminal jungle gym as you careen about the paved streets, crash through office blocks, and do flips over notable landmarks. The city itself is not so terribly exciting, however, it lacks the organic, breathing sensation that made the likes if Liberty City so iconic.

The driving, portion on the other hand, is exactly what you want in a game like this. All pretences of realism are thrown to the wind in exchange for some seriously ridiculous moves. When perused by antagonists, for example, you can actually make your car shunt violently to the left or right in shoulder barge fashion, somehow

moving on a 90 degree angle whist still travelling forwards at break-neck speed.

In another bit of John Woo-inspired insanity you can spin your car 180 degrees, slow the passage of time, pull out a gun, shoot your pursuers in the face through the windshield, spin another 180 degrees, and continue on your merry way.

As amazing as that little manoeuvre may be it doesn’t hold a flame to my all time favourite Wheelman ability - the highspeed, mid-air carjack. Speeding along behind another vehicle you can command Vin to lean out the window, somehow leap

forward through the air, land on the slower vehicle ahead, smash in through the side window, and take control of the car. I swear I’m not making that up; it’s pretty much the coolest thing ever.

Beyond the silly driving action, however, lies the husk of a game. With a shambolic attempt at plot, a lifeless open world, frustratingly crippled on-foot controls, and enemy AI that borders on a hate crime, Wheelman just isn’t the balls-to-thewall, brain-to-the-off extravaganza that it wishes so hard to be.

Summary

details

Aside from some ludicrously fun car-fu, there’s really nothing that this trite GTA knock-off gets right at all. If Vin Diesel had fans I would recommend it to only the most dedicated, but luckily that’s not an issue.

Genre: Sandbox (driving) Publisher: Ubisoft Developer: Tigon Studios Platform: PC, Xbox 360, PS3 Released: Website: wheelmangame.uk.ubi.com Players: 1 Rating: M Price: $119.99 Reviewer: Adrian Hatwell

Did You Know?

Milo burns through a lot of vehicles throughout the game, and if you watch closely you will see that one of them bears the license plate MRTL KM8T, a little self-congratulatory nod to Midway’s other, much better video game Mortal Kombat.

Legends of Wrestlemania April 5th 2009 marks the 25th anniversary of Wrestlemania, the biggest event on the sports-entertainment calendar. THQ helps celebrate the majesty that is Wrestlemania by releasing Legends of Wrestlemania, a game full of all your favourites ranging from Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant and more modern day superstars such as The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin.

There is also over 40 other legends and managers that old-skool fans will appreciate and recognize, however for new fans who are more familiar with the likes of John Cena and Jeff Hardy you won’t be disappointed either, as there’s the added feature of importing every superstar from Smackdown vs Raw 2009 directly into the game - boosting the roster count to well over 80 wrestlers!

Similarities between the two games are minimal as only the graphics were left relatively unchanged. The gameplay has had a major overhaul and is simplified to be more accessible to the casual gamer.

The only buttons that are used is the left stick and the four face buttons, allowing for more free flowing action compared to the slow paced grapple heavy mechanics of the Smackdown vs Raw series.

The main mode featured in the game

is Wrestlemania Tour where players can Relive, Rewrite or Redefine select classic matches throughout Wrestlemania history – all of which are introduced with actual video footage. There is also a create a legend gametype which you can use to play through the Legend Killer mode here it’s the players objective to beat the respective legends that appear in the game.

There’s no doubt that this game takes a different direction from its much bigger brother and it will appeal to a wide range of wrestling fans; as well as those who like a title that they can just pick up and play. Whether they will keep this type of gameplay for the release of Smackdown vs Raw 2010 we can’t be sure, however overall it’s a nice change and a great fun title to enjoy with your mates.

Summary A celebration of Wrestlemania featuring all the classic superstars and matches throughout its illustrious 25 year history coinciding with Wrestlemania 25 on April 5th 2009 in Houston Texas.

Did You Know?

Hulk Hogan could have faced John Cena at this year’s Wrestlemania but pulled out due to an injured back. This is why they had to cram Cena in the triple threat match with Edge and the Big Show.

details Genre: Wrestling Publisher: THQ Developer: Yuke’s Platform: PS3, Xbox 360 Released: 20th March Website: www.legendsofwrestlemania.com Rating: M Price: $129.99 Writer: Damian Seeto

Peggle

Not content with dominating the minds of casual PC and Mac gamers the globe over, the insidious addiction known as Peggle creeps its way onto Xbox Live, leaving a slew of unattended classes, neglected relationships, and falsified sick days in its wake.

Like any decent addiction, Peggle is stupidly simple on the face of things. Load it up, enjoy a quick hit, walk away, and get on with your life as regularly functioning member of society. We all know that the story doesn’t end there though. First people start to notice how tired you look all the time, then their stuff starts mysteriously going missing, next thing you know you’re on your knees in a vomit-slick alleyway behind a low-rent bordello ready to service the only client filthy enough to have been denied entry inside. Peggle gets under your skin.

A cousin to pinball, or the Japanese pachinko, Peggle is played across a bright board covered in colourful pins. The object of the game is to hit all the orange coloured pins with a certain number of balls.

At the top of the board is the player’s ball launcher, it can be rotated 180° and fired with minimal force; this is the sum total of the player’s input. The ball then falls down

the board, bouncing off any pegs it hits, scoring points.

That’s basically all there is to it, dropping a ball and watching it fall. But with its taunting puzzles, it’s last orange peg in that hard-to-reach place, it’s almost total reliance on luck mixed with the tiniest hint of skill, Peggle commands your attention to the last, bitter board.

Not helping matters is how embarrassing it is to be caught playing Peggle. Obviously knowing full well that their game was a class-A puzzler the developers have maliciously designed it to look like a toddler’s birthday party. Magic unicorns, rockin’ beavers, and happy dragons mock you with their unrelenting optimism with each passing level. Sure, they’ll lend you their powers if you hit that special green peg, but does that really make up for people walking in on you swearing in frustration at Peggle Master Warren, the adorable bunny rabbit?

Summary A basic puzzle game that could teach heroin a thing or two about being addictive, Peggle might not be the most robust download on Live Arcade, but there’s no doubt you’ll get your money’s worth.

Did You Know?

Peggle made MSNBC’s list of the top 5 most addictive computer games of all time, rubbing shoulders with such illustrious company as EverQuest and World of Warcraft. PC Gamer also placed it 40th on their 100 favourite computer games of all time.

details Genre: Puzzle Publisher: PopCap Games Developer: PopCap Games Platform: XBLA Released: 11th March Website: www.popcap.com Players: 1+ Rating: G Price: 800 Microsoft Points Writer: Adrian Hatwell

Monopoly

SingStar: Queen

Prince of Persia

Gameloft / N-Gage

SCEE / PlayStation 3

Gameloft /N-Gage

It’s the Monopoly you know and love, charging around a board, buying properties and charging rent for those who land on it and eventually upgrading them to include houses and finally hotels. The game is perfectly serviceable and quite lovely to look at, although unfortunately only the world board is available. We were disappointed with the lack of an online multiplayer option in the game – its turn based nature surely would have eliminated any lag issues. Still the game can be enjoyed with the family in a pass around mode with support for up to 4 players.

Famed classic Brit Rock band Queen finally makes an appearance on the console karaoke scene.

Super hits such as A Kind of Magic, Killer Queen, Bohemian Rhapsody and We Will Rock You are present in all their shining glory. In fact the whole package reads like a greatest hits list. Gameplay-wise SingStar: Queen is exactly the same as all the other zillions of SingStar games out there and naturally when push comes to shove, your liking it or not, will of course come down to your feelings about the band in question.

Last year’s reboot of the Prince of Persia series has made it’s way onto mobiles, albeit with it’s own little story and gameplay elements. Lacking the grunt to replicate the game in it’s entirety it’s instead transformed into a 2-D platforming title with 3-D graphics. The result is very pleasing with lush visuals and some great animation to enjoy. Alas the gameplay doesn’t exactly try to challenge you and quite literally points at everything you need to do.

Fight scenes whether against common foes or bosses are also disappointingly easy.

Scene It: Box Office Smash

Guitar Hero: On Tour Decades

Cabelas’s Dangerous Adventures

Microsoft / Xbox 360

Activision / DS

Activision / PS3, Xbox 360

There’s only so much you can say about this game really.

It’s sort of buzz for the Xbox 360, but Scene It: Box Office Smash concentrates solely on movie trivia. To play you’ll need the 4 controllers so owning the previous Scene It or picking them up for this latest version is a must. All in all it’s a great party game – up to 4 can play in a number of mini-games getting the best score possible to win the tournament. Curve balls can also be thrown in with bonus points provided for the likes of shortest time to answer a question, or most correct in a row after a round.

The Guitar Hero bememoth continues it’s quest to conquer the world with it’s second visit to Nintendo’s DS console. Using a finger cramping accessory you can jam on the move, mini style. Classic songs from the 70’s to the present day are on offer with the likes of Bon Jovi, Red Hot Chili Peppers and REM featured. Giving the game a little more oomph are the 3 different career paths you can dig into with Lead Guitar, Bass Guitar and Guitar Duel respectively. It’s pretty cool that you can play with friends via a local wireless network.

I played this one with trepidation; hunting rare and endangered animals with high powered rifles, pistols and an assortment of devices seems fundamentally wrong. However, environmental issues aside I would have thought a stalking game should emphasise those elements that make hunting so skilful; tracking, camouflage, planning and navigation are all key elements before a shot is fired.

All up this game not only let me down in concept but also in gameplay. Maybe if you’re an avid hunter…nah just avoid it.

Tom Clancy’s HAWX

Grand Ages: Rome

Uno

Gameloft / Mobile

Kalypso / PC

Gameloft / Mobile

A bit of a surprise this one, HAWX is Tom Clancy’s latest anti-terrorist affair, this time you take on the role of a fighter pilot. What’s interesting in the mobile iteration is that it is a side scrolling retro style shooter rather than a futuristic flight sim. Your plane auto-fires a continuous stream of destruction at the many waves of oncoming enemies, leaving you with the task of piloting left/right, up/down as well as releasing your special weapon in times of need. It’s a simple game that does work very well. Easy to play and well designed.

Way back when, Sierra used to create a game called Caesar. It was in most ways a SimCity clone set, as the name suggests during the days of Ancient Rome. The franchise has long since disappeared but its essence lives on in Grand Ages: Rome. Here you create a family dynasty and work your way up the hierarchy via grand construction projects. The overall graphics are decent and the end result is a solid addition to the city building genre. If you like these kinds of games then you’ll come away satisfied but not overawed.

What’s interesting in this mobile variation of the card game is the ability to play both as a single player and up to 4 players via ‘passing the handset’. If you haven’t played UNO before it’s very simple. You are given cards numbered 1 to 9 in 4 different colours. A card is placed down and must be followed by either the same colour or number. There are cards that allow you to change direction, miss turns or make players pick up cards. Whoever places down the last card wins. Gameloft have done an excellent job in translation to mobile.

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giveaways Madworld (Wii) With its irreverent humour and over-the-top violence MADWORLD delivers a visceral gaming experience that will be an instant classic on the Wii. SEGA has provided us with 3 copies to give away. So if you are over 18 and you own a Wii you’ll want to get those answers in today!

On this month’s cover, what is MadWorld star Jack holding in his hand?

NPPL Championship Paintball 2009 Activision Value / Multi

Paintball is a game about a bunch of guys running around playing at war with guns that shoot coloured gelatinous blobs. I’m wondering whats the point of making a video game about it? A game where you pretend to be a bunch of guys prentending to be a bunch of guys waging war – smooth move. Yes the game is faithful to the sport with proper tournament rules (and yes you can cheat), real physics and real players and teams. I’m sure the hardcore crowd will lap it up, the rest of us will be much happier with Call of Duty thanks.

a) baseball bat with a nail in it b) sharp pointed stick c) blood soaked chainsaw

Resistance retribution pack (PSP) We have a copy of Sony’s hot new PSP shooter Resistance Retribution to give away this month. It comes in a highly collectable military steel case with instructions, testing kits and mercy pills - handy indeed if you’ve been infected by the highly addictive Chimeran virus. To enter the draw all you have to do is go to www.gamefreaks.tv - find and watch the video (posted May 4th) that shows our reviewer Stan being tested for the virus and answer the following question…

Which Super 14 rugby side does Stan support? a) the blues b) the force c) the hurricanes

The hangover (movie passes) In theatres June 11th from the director of OLD SCHOOL comes a new comedy about a bachelor party gone horribly wrong. Roadshow has provided us with 10 doubles passes so get your answers in to us now and you’re in the draw.

Uno Rush Microsoft / XBLA

Uno was one of Xbox Live Arcade’s quintessential timewasters. A chilled and highly sociable online card game, and a brief haven from the “noobwad dicklicker” insults usually hollered on Live. Well find a new place to make friends, because this inevitable sequel brings the crazy to the card table and doesn’t let up. The main changes in the rules are: everybody can now see everyone else’s cards and each card play is against a timer. These simple alterations have changed the game into a manic, sporadically exhilarating, often maddening experience.

Which of the following actors did not appear in the 2003 film Old School? a) Will Ferrell b) Luke Wilson c) robert de niro

mega huge killzone 2 posters Killzone 2 fans are going to love this prize. We have 2 of these highly collectable, seriously massive wall-sized posters to giveaway. All you need to do to have a shot at winning it is to answering the following.

Who is the developer behind the successful Killzone series? a) orangutan computer entertainment b) Baboon interactive c) Guerrilla Games

The Dishwasher: Dead Samurai Microsoft /XBLA

Winner of a game design contest, Dead Samurai is one of Microsoft’s contributions to indie games, and odd game titles. It’s a side scrolling beat ‘em up and in the style of Alien Hominid. If you’re anything less than a hardcore gamer turn elsewhere. If you do fit in that category then you’ll find stylish graphics, an incredible amount of gore, ‘dish’ magic and an intriguing use for the guitar hero/ Rockband guitar peripheral should you happen to have one. Recommended to be played co-op with a friend; your odds of survival go from one percent to two.

how to enter

Write the correct answer, your name and contact details in an e-mail and send it in. All correct entries immediately go into the draw. This month’s winners will be drawn May 25th, 2009. No entries will be accepted after that date; please refrain from flooding our e-mail or you’ll be excluded from this and future draws.

Send e-mail entries to: competitions@tenthplanet.co.nz

Last Month’s Winners

Please keep all those entries coming: our congratulations go out to all the lucky winners from issue 79.

SOCOM: Confrontation Ben Elder, Auckland | Cathy Lim

, Christchurch

PATAPON 2 Geoff Pyne, Hamilton | Faye Curnow, Auckland HALO WARS Limited Edition Jason Moala, Wellington | Judi Stebbing, Hastings

Quantum of Solace STARRING: Daniel Craig, Olga Kurylenko, Mathieu Amalric, Judy Dench DIRECTOR: Marc Forster RATING: M RUNNING TIME: 106 min STUDIO: Sony Pictures RELEASE DATE: New to retail REVIEWER: Adrian Hatwell

Quantum of Solace slides even further down the slippery slope opened by the grim-and-gritty, real world Bond of Casino Royale, warping the beloved character even more awkwardly into a prototypical American action role.

Kicking off seconds after the previous film’s conclusion, Quantum of Solace opens with a big dumb car chase - Bond’s bread and butter - but the way it is handled instantly signals the uneasy direction the film will take.

Rather than a straight forward bit of exhilarating action we get a manically edited, heavily computer manipulated mess of a scene that’s more The Fast and The Furious than anything approaching standard issue MI6.

The story lurches unevenly between snappy action scenes across rooftops, oceans, and the like, and

In Bruges STARRING: Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, Ralph Fiennes, Thekla Reuten DIRECTOR: Martin McDonagh RATING: R16 RUNNING TIME: 106 min STUDIO: Focus Features RELEASE DATE: New to retail REVIEWER: Matthew Risley

An hour and a half of Colin Farrell. Colin ‘feckin’ Farrell, a hotel room and little else. And he’s wrestling with his feelings too; scrunching his punchably handsome face into a rugged Irish mess and blubbing big Guinessy tears.

On paper, In Bruges sounds like it could be used in Camp X-Ray as an interrogation weapon. In practice, it is a surprising, heartfelt comedy-drama which is excel-

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laboured plot development involving a host of the least interesting Bond characters to date. The Bond girl doesn’t have an inappropriate double entendre for a name, James barely seems interested in her naughty bits at all, the villain is as terrifying as your dad’s accountant, and the insidious plot in need of foiling is about as grand as a Beagle Boys heist.

In attempting to restart the stalled Bond franchise Casino Royale stripped down the super spy formula to it’s bare essentials. While this might make for a fine, streamlined action film the problem is that James Bond, in essence, is anything but stripped down. He’s over the top, cheeky, naughty, shaken, not stirred; he isn’t an action hero, he’s the world’s most ridiculously debonair intelligence agent. Blond or not, that’s not who Daniel Craig is playing.

I miss James Bond; I miss the gadgets, the girls, the Villains with dignity enough to commit to a theme. I miss Moneypenny, and Q, and henchmen with stupidly awesome gimmicks. I miss Bond being fun. The sooner the series gets over ‘growing up’ the better.

lently written, pleasingly shot and quite unlikely to cause a Taliban dissident to ‘fess up. No sir, not the metaphorical ‘genitals-wired-to-a-car-battery’ that it could so easily have been.

Set somewhat unsurprisingly in Bruges, In Bruges centres on wannabe hitman Ray (Farrell) who is forced to flee London and hole-up in Belgium after a bungled job. Here he struggles to get to grips with the culture, his conscience, and an enigmatic Belgian girl named Chloe.

He is joined by punchy-Irishman shaped sounding-board Ken (Brendan Gleeson) a fellow hitman, albeit a much more experienced and worldly one – and eventually confronted with their gangster boss (Ralph Fiennes) who is out to settle the score.

The crux of the film settles on the relationship between

Saw V STARRING: Tobin Bell, Costas Mandylor, Scott Patterson, Julie Benz, Meagan Good DIRECTOR: David Hackl RATING: R18 RUNNING TIME: 92 min STUDIO: Lions Gate Films RELEASE DATE: New to retail REVIEWER: Matthew Risley

When the man who directed Saw’s II, III and IV decides that he is too good to put his name to a movie, the warning signs and loud mental ‘awooga’ sirens start to flare.

There was always the chance that the departure of Darren Lynn Bousman would liberate the franchise, but maddeningly he appears to have been the last thing stopping it from completely imploding upon itself.

Now, I’m not saying the original Saw was any kind of deep, meta-commentary on the socio-political ramifications of loss, pain and sacrifice, but it was a bloody thrilling, unique and fresh take on the horror genre which had an (admittedly twisted) point and storyline.

The ‘plot’ (inverted commas now a pre-requisite for a Saw review) this time around flimsily connects the original’s main draw, Jigsaw, back into proceedings and offers a few nods back to its long suffering fans. Other than that though, it’s business as normal, and we’re forced to sit through yet another 90 minutes of insipid, tiresome and generic deaths in their surprisingly budget glory.

While there will undoubtedly be yet another Saw come next Halloween, the franchise has officially fallen into the tacky realms of the Jason and Freddy franchises – the law of diminishing sequels guaranteeing anything that was worth salvaging in the first place has now officially bled out to leave nothing but the bloody husk of a tired franchise; the production values have nosedived, the acting is completely defunct and the actual deaths are shockingly boring.

Here’s an idea for the monkey-at-typewriter scriptwriters currently behind the helm. You want a decent torture device for number six? How about strapping a victim in a chair, Clockwork Orange-style, and forcing them to watch this little number on repeat until their brain eventually and inevitably dribbles out of their ears.

Ray and Ken and the way that their extraordinary job has shaped their own world-view. Typically this is expressed over a few pints, a few lines or a loaded weapon. Farrell and Gleeson both excel as writer/director Martin McDonagh’s hilarious, ridiculous, yet strangely identifiable script unfolds.

The city deserves an honourable mention too, with a cameo performance showcasing its medieval nooks and crannies as the perfect spot for a weekend break or simply as a venue for some reckless gunplay.

All in all, In Bruges does well to confound expectations - Colin Farrell isn’t as much of an irritant as first thought, Ralph Fiennes is a surprisingly competent comic actor and Bruges itself has much more to offer than just chocolate and waterways.

First Snow STARRING: Guy Pearce, Steven Michael Quezada, JK Simmons, Piper Perabo DIRECTOR: Mark Fergus RATING: MA RUNNING TIME: 101 min STUDIO: Independent RELEASE DATE: New to retail REVIEWER: Adrian Hatwell

Stoking the slavish psychological thriller genre into existential territory, First Snow is a superbly crafted picture, as provocative as it is unsettling.

When his car breaks down in a dusty southwest USA township, rogue-cum-businessman Jimmy decides to take in the sights. The huge prairie sky frames a town of trailers and tourist traps, one of which catches the temporary visitor’s attention; Vacaro the fortune teller. Plonking down $10 for a quick palm reading he’s sure is fake, Jimmy gets the usual placation of good news before the so-called psychic suffers a violent seizure and refuses to tell his customer what he saw.

Thinking the experience nothing more than a clever performance, Jimmy races back to his life of flooring

Donkey Punch STARRING: Robert Boulter, Sian Breckin, Tom Burke, Julian Morris DIRECTOR: Oliver Blackburn RATING: R18 RUNNING TIME: 99 min STUDIO: Magnolia RELEASE DATE: New to retail REVIEWER: Adrian Hatwell

Watching healthy young Americans get brutally killed is usually a satisfying enough premise for a thriller as long as you know what you’re getting in to, but Donkey Punch packs in so much unjustifiable nastiness that it almost seems to exist in order to make you feel bad for watching.

The film plays it pretty straight with its ingredients; a remote locale, horny college-age youngsters, a handful of drugs, generous lashings of sex, and monsoon buckets of blood. But this recipe, which usually makes for a cheap kick at worst, here falls apart into an unlikable, absurd mess.

A trio of frisky female American tourists are lured aboard a luxurious yacht at the promise of high-sea European

sales and a longsuffering girlfriend. It’s not until the fortune-teller’s visions of financial prosperity begin to come true that the businessman suddenly becomes concerned about the final part of Vacaro’s act.

Ditching his responsibilities, Jimmy frantically seeks the nomadic mystic out once more, forcing him to reveal that when he looked into the man’s future he didn’t see much at all. The best he can do is promise that Jimmy will be fine until the season’s first snowfall.

Violently aware of his own mortality and desperate to cheat his fate, Jimmy begins to self-destruct as he revisits the secrets from his past that he is convinced will be responsible for his untimely death.

The increasing, nerve-wracking pace of the film builds to a zen-like crescendo before being shattered by tragic pathos. The film’s relentless obsession would have been a hard sell by anyone other than the wonderful Guy Peirce in the harrowing lead role, he brings the same intensity and humanity that made Memento such a coup.

A tight script, light directorial touch, and fine acting make First Snow a real showcase for the genre.

adventures by a group of guys who look, at best, like a pack of date-rapists. Heading out into the Mediterranean Sea the pills get popped, the clothes come off, and the rutting begins. It doesn’t take us very long to realise we don’t like any of these characters in the slightest, they’re either vapid morons or sleazy creeps, and the wanton murdering just can’t come soon enough.

If you don’t already know what a Donkey Punch is I do not recommend you look it up, it’s one of those things that ruins sex for everyone. It is here used, with unintentional hilarity, to provide a body over which our crew of horrible brats will freak out. Disagreements over how to handle the corpse amplifies guilt and spreads distrust to the point where it’s just easier for everyone to kill each other in increasingly ridiculous ways.

Aside from being centred on a particularly objectionable sex act, there’s nothing inherently wrong with the film’s premise. Cheap, exploitative schlock we can all agree on, but Donkey Punch’s aggressive campaign against characterisation, plot, and dialogue just make the film a miserable watch.

RockNRolla STARRING: Gerard Butler, Tom Wilkinson, Idris Elba, Thandie Newton, Mark Strong, Tom Hardy DIRECTOR: Guy Ritchie RATING: R16 RUNNING TIME: 114 min STUDIO: Warner Brothers RELEASE DATE: New to retail REVIEWER: Adrian Hatwell

Guy Ritchie is perilously close to wearing out his welcome. The director’s critically lauded debut was Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, a twisty crime flick that set the tone for almost everything Ritchie would do thereafter. Follow-up Snatch adhered so close to formula that it was almost a remake, and now we’re back watching the exact same film play out once again with RockNRolla.

Luckily it’s a fairly entertaining film, albeit less so the third time around. Combining rapid-fire dialogue with criss-crossing plot lines, a raft of vaguely defined characters with funny accents are set on a collision course of criminal shenanigans. There will be drugs, guns, trendy music, slapstick violence, sharp outfits, and little else beyond. As far as surface-level thrillers go, Ritchie’s output is slick and almost always makes sense.

London’s old school criminals are set to clash with town’s younger upstarts when a missing painting and dodgy real estate deal bring a vast cast of villains crashing together.

Lenny Cole (Tom Wilkinson) is outlaw royalty but quickly passing his expiry date, his plucky right-hand man Archy (Mark Strong) handles most of the dirty work. One Two (Gerard Butler) and his gang of lower class thugs are keen to move into the big leagues, though the presence of some heavy-hitting Russian mobsters on the scene complicates things. Throw in an unpredictable junkie musician and a double-dealing femme fatale, and you’ve got… well, exactly what you were expecting.

If Ritchie hadn’t given us time to forget him while producing the shambolic Swept Away then RocknRolla probably wouldn’t have got a pass, coming so soon after the near-identical Snatch. As it stands there’s enough water under the bridge for snippy limey cretins to seem slightly amusing again – but this really has to be the last time the director plays that card.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Vol 1-3 STARRING: Rob Paulsen, Townsend Coleman, Renae Jacobs (Voices) WRITER: Joe DiStefano RATING: PG RUNNING TIME: Vol 1-3 STUDIO: Sony Pictures RELEASE DATE: New to retail REVIEWER: Adrian Hatwell

Rain of the Children STARRING: Harmony Wihapi, Melody Wihapi, Mikaira Tawhara, Rena Owen DIRECTOR: Vincent Ward RATING: M RUNNING TIME: 98 min STUDIO: Wayward Films RELEASE DATE: New to retail REVIEWER: Adrian Hatwell

Filmmaker Vincent Ward is truly one of our national treasures, his haunting cinematic works, whether fiction or documentary, are some of the most darkly poetic images of New Zealand ever conjured. With Rain of the Children, Ward returns to the subject of his first documentary, the tragic matriarch Puhi of Ngāi Tūhoe.

Made by the young art student in 1978, ‘In Spring One Plants Alone’ was an intimate look at what Ward considered to be one of the truest representations of traditional Maori life. Strewn with striking imagery of an old woman’s life, the doco evidenced a great melancholy that the young filmmaker couldn’t put his finger on; 30 years later Ward returns to try again.

Weaving together historical documents, interviews with surviving tribe members, and richly imagined re-enactments, the film follows Puhi’s amazing, harrowing life with the Tūhoe people. Remarkably, the woman’s life permeates the foundation events of what would become the Tūhoe Nation; from prophet Rua’s journey, to colonial assault, through to Ngāi Tūhoe’s current situation, Puhi was a player in it all.

In filming his earlier documentary Ward got to know Puhi’s mentally ill adult son, Niki. What he didn’t know was that Niki was just one of 14 children Rua gave birth to over her extraordinary life – each of them either killed or taken away from the grief stricken mother. In the wake of astonishing ill fortune, Puhi’s tribe came to believe she was cursed, and in the face of such evidence the poor woman had little option but to believe the same.

Puhi’s astonishing life is here unearthed with romantic elegance and probing curiosity, offering a stirring, disturbing account of our nation’s past that demands to be remembered, the poignant images of the film ensuring the experience is impossible to forget.

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If you were a child of the 80s then there’s absolutely no way you missed the saturating phenomena that was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Rewatching once-beloved shows like this on DVD can be a disheartening experience; things tend to hold up better if left as memories.

This is somewhat true for TMNT, but these early seasons also hold a fair share of surprises that probably shot over our adolescent heads at the time.

I should probably divulge my unhealthy level of nostalgia for all things Turtles: I’m hardcore, my obsession goes all the way back to the original, ultraviolent Frank Miller grim-and-gritty parody comic books. The 80’s animated series, however, put a friendlier face on the ninjas, turning them into wisecracking, pizza fixated heroes; brooding vengeance gave way to zany antics and thus a merchan-

Hulk Vs. STARRING: Fred Tatasciore, Steve Blum, Matthew Wolf, Janyse Jaud (Voices) DIRECTOR: Sam Liu/Frank Paur RATING: M RUNNING TIME: 78 min STUDIO: Marvel RELEASE DATE: New to retail REVIEWER: Adrian Hatwell

Marvel Comic’s recent animation output has been uneven at best, a situation the company is looking to rectify with the Hulk Vs. DVD set. The slickly animated project features two short films in which the Jade Giant goes toe-totoe with two popular characters that just happen to have their own blockbuster films on the horizon.

Hulk vs. Wolverine is a version of the runty mutant’s first appearance in The Incredible Hulk comic, in which the two man-beasts throw down in the Canadian mountains.

In order to tie the short film into the upcoming Wolverine film the battle ends up raging through Weapon X HQ, the super soldier lab in which Wolverine was created.

dising empire was born.

The original 5-part season is a fairly well told origin saga, setting up the camp villains Shredder, Krang, Beebop and Rocksteady as reoccurring antagonists to the Turtle brethren and their vermin sensei, Master Splinter. While the Turtles were no longer poking fun at ‘adult’ superhero concepts the show does maintain a none-toosubtle satirical edge, simultaneously mocking and revelling in Saturday morning cartoon cliché.

As the series’ progress they get further and further away from the Turtles’ roots, turning into a truly surreal cabaret of new, made-for-action-figure characters. It’s difficult to enjoy the show when its more negative impact as a crass, child-targeted consumer frenzy looms so large.

The energy and spirit of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles still shines as brightly as in your fondest memories, to this day nobody has managed to surpass that intro, these early episodes are the very picture of what Saturday morning used to be about. It is just a shame the show also represents the earliest instance of the ‘gotta buy ‘em all’ mentality that eventually ruined children’s programming for everyone.

The film also introduces a handful of lesser-known X-Men villains including Deadpool, Omega Red, Lady Deathstrike, and Sabertooth, most of which will also be appearing in the upcoming film. The entire story is just an excuse for the Hulk and Wolverine to go hog wild on their enemies and then each other, which is a lot of fun. With such a clean looking design the flick boasts a surprising level of gore, but it’s cliffhanger ending with no promise of a follow up is annoying.

Hulk vs. Thor delivers the same basic premise, evil god Loki has possessed the Hulk and sent him rampaging through mythical Asgard. Unfortunately the mystical powers of Thor and his brethren lack the visceral punch of Wolvie’s dismembering claws, and the second part comes off as a laboured rehash.

If either of these mini-films had been the pretext for a continuing series then they would have seemed like promising teasers rather than woefully incomplete features. Hulk vs. looks damn good, but if that’s all we get then it seems like a waste of potential.

IN CINEMAS JUNE 11

The Transporter 3 STARRING: Jason Statham, Natalya Rudakova, François Berléand, Robert Knepper DIRECTOR: Olivier Megaton RATING: M RUNNING TIME: 104 min STUDIO: Lionsgate Films RELEASE DATE: New to retail REVIEWER: Adrian Hatwell

Shark: Season One STARRING: James Woods, Danielle Panabaker, Sophina Brown, Jeri Ryan CREATOR: Ian Biederman RATING: M RUNNING TIME: Season One STUDIO: 20th Century Fox Television RELEASE DATE: New to retail REVIEWER: Adrian Hatwell

When a new show needs to borrow Hollywood talent in order to get off the ground it’s not usually a good sign.

But any James Woods is good James Woods, even if he is just slumming it on television, the charismatic leading man elevates this courtroom procedural above its mewling contemporaries in the overpopulated genre.

The series kicks off with hotshot defence attorney Sebastian Stark (Woods) suffering a crisis of conscience.

He’s known as the meanest defence lawyer on the circuit, his masterful courtroom capers have set many a villain free, but his amoral career is beginning to get the better of him. After a tragic turn with his latest client the impressive attorney gets an unexpected offer to switch sides and prosecute for the good guys at the District Attorney’s office.

Leading an eager team of young lawyers in the high profile crimes unit, Stark sets to teaching his protégées the ruthless path to victory, this time in pursuit of justice.

The conflict between Stark’s Machiavellian tactics and the young lawyers’ fresh-faced ideologies make for obvious comparisons to House, though in truth Stark is a far more substantial character than the perennial curmudgeon surgeon.

While Woods has plenty to time to chew the scenery delivering verbose courtroom monologues that would make Alan Shaw quake, the show takes a humanising risk that similar programs tend to avoid in letting us into Stark’s private life. His relationship wit 16-year-old daughter Julie is where the show finds some of both its most poignant, and most cloying moments.

Nothing about Shark really shakes up the procedural formula, but a combination of engaging week-by-week cases, slow-burning relationships, and the undeniable pull of Wood’s personality make the show work even in at its most generic.

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Sour Brit David Statham has established himself as one of the very few new generation action heroes with stamina.

Though his choice of project might often leave something to be desired, no matter how brainless, absurd, or turgid the film is Statham’s involvement means there’s going to be an acceptable amount of steely-eyed, sulkily terse ass kicking to be had. Though Transporter 3 tests that equation to its limits.

The character-less wheelman is back on the job once again, this time through the coercion of some unmistakably Very Bad Guys. Plucked from idyllic retirement by a deceased colleague and imperilled beauty, legendary deliverer of naughty goods Frank Martin (Statham) finds himself shackled with an explosive bracelet and forced to

run errands for morally devoid corporate fixers.

Criticising that the Transporter series has no plot to speak of, nor characters, nor much in the way of theme is certainly accurate, but to do so is to miss its reason for existence. One must approach such movies knowing that they are aggressively anti-substance and then evaluate them based on whatever else they manage to bring in order to anesthetise the audience. What the first two films came up with, and that which the third lacks, is a playful glee in their own absurdity.

Wizz-bang stunts are supposed to be hilariously ludicrous, hyper-masculine heroes exist only as parody, and contrived conventions are supposed to be mocked through adherence - being a big dumb action flick is terribly post-modern these days. Transporter 3 forgets that we all know how silly it really is, and instead tries to sell us a glossy layer of all-too-serious cool.

A handful of genuinely decent action scenes are smothered by dull dialogue, unbelievable romance, and unforgivable product placement resulting in a macho circle-jerk that is both humourless and soulless.

Shrooms STARRING: Lindsey Haun, Jack Huston, Max Kasch, Robert Hoffman DIRECTOR: Paddy Breathnach RATING: MA RUNNING TIME: 84 min STUDIO: Magnolia RELEASE DATE: New to retail REVIEWER: Adrian Hatwell

Irish horror films don’t exactly have what you would call a proud tradition, and Shrooms is the kind of film that will guarantee such a legacy. Without a lick of wit or originality this rural-set slasher never quite decides what tone to take, resulting in a bland muddle that leaves the audience wishing they had brought their own hallucinogens.

A troupe of fresh-faced American stereotypes decide to sojourn in the lush Irish countryside, enhancing nature’s beauty with a little of nature’s bounty. Their local guide might be a dedicated shroom-ologist but even he can’t keep things under control when one of the group ingests something she shouldn’t.

One by one the tourists begin to disappear under weird circumstances, later to be found grusomenly destroyed.

The typically idiotic behaviour of horror characters is here excused as stoned euphoria, but there was so much more the film could have done with the drug angle.

The remote setting, replete with rickety old house of horrors, is constantly plunged into nightmarish delirium as the flick employs every cheap scare tactic in the book

to shock this dozy script to life. As each forgettable character is hacked out of the picture the film limps towards a plot twist so glaringly obvious that the flashback explanations actually feel insulting.

A handful of middling actors do their best to keep the material on point but with a script that can’t decide whether it’s psychological horror, supernatural horror, or straight slasher flick there’s not much that can keep this mess on the tracks.

There was nothing inherently wrong with the film’s premise, under better guidance it could have had a bit of kick, but coming at a time when the genre is saturated with watered-down remakes and second-rate knock offs another chunk of mediocrity just isn’t going to cut it.

Young @ Heart STARRING: Jim Armenti, William E. Arnold Jr., Joe Benoit, Louise Canady DIRECTOR: Stephen Walker RATING: PG RUNNING TIME: 107 min STUDIO: Independent RELEASE DATE: New to retail REVIEWER: Adrian Hatwell

I really didn’t want to be interested in Young @ Heart, I don’t like to mix old people with my Rock ‘n’ Roll, and I very rarely feel the need to have my heart warmed by a documentary. Still, I sat down in my most cynical chair to watch it and ended up thoroughly enjoying the lightweight, sentimental tale.

The Young at Heart choir are a group of geriatrics who get together to belt out ramshackle versions of great (or not) rock songs. With an average age of 81, most members of the group admit that the songs taught to them by their patient instructor aren’t exactly their cup of tea, but the level of enthusiasm and energy with which they tackle the task is something to see.

The documentary traces seven weeks of rehearsal leading up to a concert in which the elderly group will deliver their idiosyncratic renditions of Sonic Youth’s “Schizophrenia”, James Brown’s “I Feel Good”, Cold Play’s “Fix You”, and Allen Toussaint’s “Yes We Can Can.” There’s a little Bowie, some Ramones, even a dash of the Bee Gees thrown in for bad measure; if the upbeat characters don’t suck you in the film’s bound to provide at least some music that will get your foot tapping.

Documentarian Stephen Walker chooses, at times, to become an intrusive presence in the story, the film is at its worst whenever we are privy to his mollifying, vaguely patronising interviews of his subjects. When left to their own devices, however, the few elderly rockers we get to

know well prove to be real characters, open about their limitations and good natured in the face of ever-present adversity.

Overly sentimental at times with the inevitable deaths of a few choir members, the documentary remains upbeat, fluffy fun for most of its running time.

also released Lord of the Flies Adapted from William Golding’s fantastic novel, Peter Brooks’ version of Lord of the Flies gets a fully deserved special edition release.

The young cast of this 1963 production deserve particular praise, expressing such range as stranded little society makers.

Empties Apparently the Czech Republic’s most successful film of all time (I’m not sure how steep the competition was), Empties is a heartening little love story without much substance. The wonderfully crotchety Zdenek Sverák buoys the slight plot, but the film just doesn’t have much to say.

Pineapple Express An action thriller re-imagined as a stoner buddy flick by the Apatow institute, the people behind every bad taste, male-targeted comedy of the last five years. Seth Rogen and James Franco don’t manage to rekindle that ‘Freaks and Geeks’ flame, but if you’re in the mood for stupid then pull up a seat.

Persepolis STARRING: Chiara Mastroianni, Catherine Deneuve, Danielle Darrieux DIRECTOR: Vincent Paronnaud/Marjane Satrapi RATING: M RUNNING TIME: 96 min STUDIO: Sony Pictures Classics RELEASE DATE: New to retail REVIEWER: Adrian Hatwell

Many of the best comic book movies don’t get acknowledgment as such because most people haven’t been exposed to them in original comic form. Persepolis joins the ranks of spandex-less comic films like Ghost World and American Splendour as superior examples of adaptation.

Originally two autobiographical volumes, the animated feature Persepolis boils down author Marjane Satrapi’s tale of life in Iran into a sleek 95 minutes. Told in a style reverent of the comic’s minimal black and white illustrations, the film’s charming grey palate sets the perfect tone for this coming of age tale that is as buoyant as it is harrowing.

The film begins during the reign of the Shah, and while the nation baulked under dictatorial rule young Marjane lives a contented life. Raised by loving, open-minded

parents she enjoys a relatively carefree adolescence, obsessed by Western Pop music, fashion, and culture.

When the country is gripped by revolution, however, stories of executions and torture cast a grave light on everyday life.

When the Shah is overthrown a rigid Islamic code descends upon Iran, restricting Marjane in ways the headstrong youth is ill equipped to deal with. Forced to cover her face from the male gaze and taught to demonise all things Western, the young girl’s petulant attitude constantly lands her in hot water with the authorities to the extent that her parents decide shipping her off to Europe offers her best chance at remaining free.

The story is related in short vignettes, each narrated from Marjane’s perspective. The brash, inquisitive child casts events in a warm, humorous, intelligent light though never shying away from the darker material of her own character flaws and mistakes.

Persepolis is one of those rare occasions where a film lives up to its source material. For brevity’s sake a fair amount of detail has been culled from the original texts, so it’s still well worth tracking the books down, but the film stays true to the autobiography’s gripping spirit.

Futurama: Into the Wild Green Yonder Futurama takes what appears to be its final bow, at least for some time, with this final feature-length DVD. Yonder delivers a satisfying conclusion to the beloved series, sparing neither the crazy Sci-Fi high jinks nor the earnest character development that set the show apart from similar fare. It will be missed.

The Band’s Visit When a musical troupe of Egyptian cops find themselves marooned in the wrong Israeli town all manner of little cross-cultural shenanigans break out. This quiet film is charming and engaging, finding intelligent humour in the interactions of disparate cultures.

City of Ember This wiz-bang adaptation of the accomplished children’s novel of same name trades subtle depth for dumb CGI. The result is a brisk but pointless jaunt through a fairly imaginative fantasy world. A decent cast do their best but ultimately the film underwhelms.

Games inspired Hollywood missing the mark Video games and movies are two genres that really should be a match made in heaven. Unfortunately, the majority of movies adapted from video games seem to suffer from a bad case of ‘Lost in Translation’. So why is it so difficult for the creators of these movies to get it right?

A few of the more recent releases of video games to the big-screen have brought us Doom, Resident Evil, Silent Hill and the abysmal Max Payne.

To be fair, they weren’t all bad - Silent Hill was pretty scary (as well as gory) and Resident Evil had drop-dead gorgeous Mila Jovovich and features some pretty kick-ass fight scenes. That aside, out of about 10 movies that I can name off the top of my head, less than half of these have ever made it really big at the box office.

One of the most prominent of these would have to be the massively popular Tomb Raider movies with Lara Croft being portrayed by Angelina Jolie.

So what was so right about Tomb Raider that just didn’t seem to happen for other movies like it? Could genre be an issue? Considering most of the movies released seem to be either horror or action related or both, I would say they’re aiming at the right market for mass appeal.

Statistically, action and adventure movies seem to do relatively well at the box office worldwide. Perhaps it’s a casting issue although Angelina Jolie wasn’t exactly the biggest actress in Hollywood when she took on the role of Lara Croft. In fact, the Tomb Raider movies literally launched her into the superstar stratosphere of A-listers where she now resides.

Personally, I think it has more to do with the writing process, which takes us back to my earlier comment where things seem to be getting lost in transit somewhere from the console to the movie theatre.

I don’t know alot about making movies but as an avid gamer and movie buff, I’d bet that creating the right sort of dramatisation on the big screen from a cut-scene in a video game must be pretty hard work if not an impossibility to fully replicate. There’s no denying that both genres share alot of key elements such as creating the right sort of atmosphere, engaging your audience and of course, creating an experience that’s worthy of remembering.

Perhaps getting in touch with the gamers out there who truly know the characters and storylines in these games is the key? Maybe gamers are the missing link and perhaps we speak a language that more of the directors in Hollywood need to start learning.

I’ll be sure to make myself available for those incoming calls from Steven Spielberg, Ridley Scott and James Cameron but until then, I’ll see you online... or maybe at a theatre sooner than you think ;) - Julie Gray

NEXT

ISSUE We’ve taken this quiet time as a chance to make some changes to the layout of the magazine and look forward to showing you the end result.

Next month it’s all on with The Sims 3 pipped to be the feature cover game.

It may not be every gamer’s ideal franchise but let’s not forget that it’s on of the most successful series of all time and has millions of fans throughout the world of all ages and sex.

The fun doesn’t end there though with other big names to make their appearance including the rip and tear of Wolverine. Also one of last generation’s best and most overlooked games has been remade along with a ton of new content with Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena.

Theres also plenty of smaller games such as Afro Samurai and Eat Lead: Return of Matt Hazard – could they be yet more so-so previously unanticipated titles or hidden gems…we’ll find out in a month.

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