Messenger The
Fall 2021
Gretchen Palmer
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Essentials For
Rebuilding Trust
Thanksgiving An interview with
Meg Meeker, MD
Fall 2021
The Messenger
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Campus Close-Up
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An Investment That Paid Off
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“The Little School With The Big Soul”
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TC Handmade Market 2021
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Thanksgiving, An interview with Meg Meeker, MD
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Data 2021
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Gretchen Palmer
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6 Essentials For Rebuilding Trust
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Sports Highlights
A publication of Traverse City Christian School 753 Emerson Road, Traverse City, MI 49696 (231) 929-1747 | www.tcchristian.org
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An Investment That Paid Off
with Ian Newberry, M.Div (Class of 2012)
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Thanksgiving An interview with Meg Meeker, MD
The first step to enjoying Thanksgiving is to accept it will not be perfect. Instead, let it be loving and calm.
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Gretchen Palmer Some people are simply born with music in their hearts, and Chicago native Gretchen Palmer is one of those lucky few.
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6 Essentials For Rebuilding Trust There are steps for rebuilding trust and we each have our part to play.
‘Thank You’ In a New Light Reflections Of A New Father by Tyler Van Schepen
To Traverse City Christian School parents...”Thank you.” I’ve said it before either in conversation or including it in some capacity within different written communications over the last few years, but I want to explicitly thank you for placing your children at TC Christian and entrusting the staff to care for, educate, and speak Truth into their lives. I always knew it was a big decision for parents on where to send a child to school, but I now see this decision, and many others, in a new light. As many of you know, my wife and I became parents at the end of last school year on May 20, 2021. Among many other items my wife and I have learned in these 5+ months, we have recognized a further awareness that we are not in control, we’ve come to a greater recognition of the love that God has for us, and also saw first hand the importance of trusted family and friends in being a supportive community for our daughter. Each new day and week brings about anticipation and excitement as we watch Emerson grow and develop. While not wanting the time to go too fast, it is
exciting, and also scary, to think about the upcoming firsts and experiences that we will encounter over the upcoming weeks, months, and years ahead. I know we’ll continue to need a support system that pours into our daughter and encourages my wife and I along the way as these new experiences come our way. So again, I say “thank you”. Deciding where to send your child to school is a big decision. It is a commitment with the school in raising your child. Teaching your child to learn how to read and how to solve math problems are one thing, but a school also teaches your child, explicitly or not, a variety of worldview items. At TC Christian, you can be assured that your child is in a place where they are viewed as a child of God, they will learn biblical truths, and develop a worldview that seeks to equip them for a life of service in God’s kingdom. The partnership the school has with you is something we do not take lightly. Thank you for pouring into your own child while also trusting us to do the same here at school. We are in this together!
Tyler Van Schepen is the Superintendent of Traverse City Christian School. He and his wife Heather enjoy great coffee, long hikes with Super Dog, Scout, and family time with their daughter, Emerson,.
Publisher Traverse City Christian School 753 Emerson Road Traverse City, MI 49696 231-929-1747 Editor Craig O’Connor Contributing Writers Amanda Renkiewicz Craig O’Connor Ian Newberry Meg Meeker Terry Porter Tyler Van Schepen Graphic Designer GATHER Media LLC
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Campus Close-Up Car Show The Summertime Classic Car Show held on the TC Christian campus on August 14 was a smashing success! Incredible weather, beautiful cars, and happy guests ensured the day was one to remember. Special thanks go to Tom and Kristie Rodgers who, along with Doug and Ben Knorr, led the effort to bring the show to TCCS. Their knowledge and hard work paved the way for an excellent event. Kudos also to our volunteers who made sure everyone was taken care of. Thank you for giving of your time. Finally a huge thank you to our sponsors: • ADVANCED INSULATION SYSTEMS • CONCRETE SERVICE • GRAND TRAVERSE REFRIGERATION • GLOBAL REMEDIATION TECHNOLOGIES • KNORR MARKETING
• NATIONAL VACUUM EQUIPMENT • NORTHWOODS OBSTETRICS & GYNECOLOGY • OLSON’S AUTO BODY • TROPHY TROLLEY • WASH ‘N’ GO CAR WASH
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Back To School Countdown The annual rite of passage known as Back-to-School is often filled with mixed emotions. For parents, it can be the first time away from a little one or the last year with a high schooler. For the kids, there’s excitement reconnecting with old friends, making new ones, and getting back into the school routine. And for the teachers? Well, they are like athletes in training. Conditioned to a fine edge, they start anticipating backto-school around June 17th. Cravings begin after Cherry Festival and by August they are ready and raring to go. In that spirit of anticipation, the faculty and staff enjoy counting down to the first day of school. It’s always fun and really gets the creative juices flowing. The collage to the left is simply a sampling of some of the pictures we shared during that special time.
Open House TC Christian’s Open House is always a blast! The Varsity volleyball team was serving ice-creams, students were finding lockers, teachers were welcoming newcomers, and the steady hum of joyful anticipation filled the air.
New Family BBQ and Pool Party
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BACK TO SCHOOL Wow, what a great first day! Smiling faces everywhere mixed with a tear or two. The Seniors welcomed everyone back to school with sweet treats before we all moved to the gym for introductions and prayer, after which we hit the classrooms. Bonus: we got inside just as the big storm hit!
All-School Chapel A highlight of the first week of school is the All-School Chapel. The morning kicks off with the worship team leading the middle and high school students in some pre-worship music in the gym. The students then create a human tunnel in anticipation of the arrival of the elementary school. The L’il Sabres hit the gym with a mix of wonderment and excitement as their much bigger counterparts welcome them to chapel via a forest of arms and high fives. A time of worship follows and the morning concludes with a prayer and blessing.
First Friday Ice Creams The end of the first week back to school is a time to celebrate and what better way than with icecream.
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See You At The Pole Students, parents, and staff gathered before school on the first day of Fall for the annual See You At The Pole vigil. Led by the Student Council, we read Scripture and prayed for area schools; our families, churches, and community; our elected leaders (both statewide and national); our military and First Responders; and for TC Christian.The gathering was a simple yet beautiful example of God’s people united for His purpose.
New Gym Cam Can’t make the game? The Athletic department has a fancy new camera in the gym and as a subscriber, you can watch all our games live or on demand through the NFHS Network. Contact the Athletic Department for details. Makes a great gift for alumni away at college or out of the area.
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Buddy Day A core value of TC Christian is Authentic Biblical Community. To experience that, each of our older students are paired with younger ones and given opportunities to get to know each other. This time, the students enjoyed reading as part of their Buddy Day. It’s something special to see those relationships being developed and enjoyed.
Homecoming Celebrations Zany costumes, wacky hairdos, hallway decorations, and silly games all make Homecoming Week a highly anticipated event. Here are some quick snapshots of the MS/HS group giving their all in the intramural games and the Elementary students getting in on the dress up fun..
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An Investment That Paid Off
with Ian Newberry, M.Div (Class of 2012) A love for the Scriptures and a heart to serve led this alumnus into the pulpit.
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I had the privilege of attending Traverse City Christian School from 7th-12th grade and graduated with the class of 2012. I am grateful for the opportunity to share some of my experiences and hope this will be an encouragement to current and future students. My time at TC Christian was great in many ways, and for many different reasons. One was the wide variety of extra-curricular activities that were offered to students in order to help them grow as people and develop life skills outside the classroom. In my time at TC Christian, I participated in sports like baseball, basketball, and football, during which I learned
leadership skills and the value of teamwork, skills I will use for the rest of my life. In the process, I built longlasting friendships. I was also taught the importance of service and was provided many opportunities to serve in a variety of contexts. I have great memories of mission trips to New Orleans to do clean-up after Hurricane Katrina (2008) and my senior class mission trip to Costa Rica in 2012. Waking up early on Thursday mornings to run the soundboard for the chapel praise team is also seared indelibly in my memory. These experiences helped me to develop a heart for serving others, and awakened a desire to
care for those in need. Those nudges from God have helped shape my life today. TC Christian also placed a strong emphasis on relationships, which was very beneficial for me. The teachers displayed a clear interest in not only the academic advancement of their students, but in their personal growth as well. They were always willing to meet with students about academics, and they made learning enjoyable. I have great memories of fiestas in Spanish IV and going out to breakfast with the Calculus class. Thursday chapels were a unique time to take a break from studies and listen to a variety of Biblical teaching. These were enriching times for me and they taught me to continuously seek God in the midst of the busyness of school life. The most important way TC Christian positively influenced my life was helping me develop a Christian worldview. I learned this primarily through the Logic and Understanding the Times
classes taught by Mr. Weber and the Theology and Apologetics classes taught by Mr. Broderick. These classes taught me to understand both culture and the Bible, and to think critically about how they interact. After graduation, I attended Northwestern Michigan College and during that time, took a philosophy class from an atheist professor who presented many ideas that contradicted Christianity. The worldview foundation with which TC Christian had equipped me enabled me to analyze the professor’s material, understand how it related to my Christian faith, and rebut it with grace and conviction. Experiences like this showed me that in order to effectively engage our culture, the Church needed to develop a Biblical worldview. To that end, I transferred to Cornerstone University in Grand Rapids and earned a degree in Biblical Studies. In the Fall of 2016, I transferred to Grand Rapids Theological Seminary
and graduated with a Master of Divinity (M.Div) in 2018. Also in 2018, I married the love of my life, Whitney, and today she is by my side as I serve as the Associate Pastor for Ministry Advancement at Immanuel Bible Church in Saginaw. Over the years, I have had many great teachers and professors who helped me develop a love for the study of the Bible. My desire is to share that with the church in order to build it up and help mold it into the image of Christ. TC Christian was a very important part of my journey and I am so grateful for my time there. Academically, TC Christian prepared me extraordinarily well for college and seminary. More importantly, though, it prepared me for the next phases of life, both personally and spiritually. I am so thankful for the holistic education I received at TC Christian. The faculty invested in me and my fellow students, and now that investment is paying off. To God be the glory. The Messenger | 11
“The Little School With The Big Soul” A new family experiences peace at TC Christian By Contributing Writer Amanda Renkiewicz While financial advisors caution us to invest wisely, investing goes well beyond the monetary for the Rynbrandt family. When asked what they would say to parents considering a private education at TC Christian, they responded seriously, “It’s the best investment we have ever made in our kids or our marriage.”
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The Rynbrandt family begins with father Jeff, a former Army Ranger, and now CEO of a Mayo Clinic start-up for treatment of Atrial Fibrillation. Jen Rynbrandt is originally from Maryland and serves as both an eldercare consultant and a gallery-represented artist since 2004. Their firstborn is Lilly, age 17, who loves art, cooking, and 80’s metal bands. Lilly plays violin, electric guitar, and tennis. Ruby, age 15, is into Anime, has created her own graphic novels, and loves sweets and baking. Max, at age 12, loves sports and has been playing hockey for several years. He also enjoys baking (he has the appetite of ten full-grown men!) and creating Minecraft worlds that are engineering marvels. Teddy, age 9, is an unofficial (but wellversed) McDonald’s historian. He knows the history of Santa Claus in nearly every region of the world and shares his father’s enthusiasm for ice cream. The Rynbrandt parents came from different aspects of Christianity. Jeff is a Roman Catholic with an Evangelical bent, while Jen is a selfproclaimed no-name-brand Protestant. They are able to maintain their backgrounds while the children are immersed at TCCS. “My husband is really thrilled with TCCS, even given his very strict Roman Catholic upbringing,” Jen says, “and we do enjoy the Christmas and Easter season at his church, St. Francis. Lent should be a season, not just a weekend, right? The perch and walleye here in Traverse City sure make Lenten Fish Fridays exceedingly more delicious!” Their journey to TC Christian began after the family was in the area for a camping trip. “Jeff has a camp nearby where he hunts, so the kiddos and I would come with him in the warmer months,” Jen explains. “After seeing how “normal” Northern
Michigan feels (compared to Baltimore and other East Coast destinations we frequent), I began to wonder if it would suit us in the cold months as well. At that time, Jeff was commuting to Boston each week and quite honestly, I was looking for some way and place for us to slow down. We were in a Blue-Ribbon School district, but despite that, we began facing issues, with drug use among them. Heroin was a popular after-school activity, and even some of the teachers were found to be involved and were later let go. We also found that there was no tolerance for any thoughts/values/faiths that did not conform with the National Education Association manifesto.” Jeff and Jen began looking into alternatives and found their center and their fit in Northern Michigan. “This fall, we have a senior, a sophomore, a seventh grader, and a fourth grader. They all enjoy their teachers and the subjects, and even chapel!” Jen adds. “They’re getting Bible class for the first time in school. It’s wonderful to see them applying their knowledge of our faith in daily life. And they’re learning to discern information, not be told what to think. This is really the biggest difference. In the classes at TCCS, they debate, dialog, learn, and practice critical thinking skills, something that’s been lost in our public-school systems over the past fifty years or so.” Despite significant research, there were still surprises for the Rynbrandts once they began at TCCS. “We couldn’t believe how friendly it is to new folks and how respectful and wellmannered the students are. At first, it was shocking! We had thought that private school might be a little stifling to our kiddos’ creativity. Not so. The teachers are all very gifted and the lessons are engaging and
interactive. And sometimes goofy and fun, too! The science classes especially! They do fun and educational experiments and field trips!” Jen says with amazement. The Rynbrandt family couldn’t be happier with their decision to enroll at TC Christian. Jen explains, “I think in some ways it’s saved us (again!) and has definitely added life and peace back into our day-today family life. We truly didn’t realize how on edge we were about the cultural shifts and how the public schools were making inroads into our dinner conversations. We simply couldn’t paddle against the current anymore. Our kids were increasingly indifferent to our own values at home, and they didn’t feel valued at school. We simply needed to do something. TC Christian is the little school with the big soul! We moved across the country just to experience what TCCS had to offer and were not disappointed! The emotional return on the monthly financial investment is something we simply can’t quantify. We only wish we could have done this sooner!” The Messenger | 13
TC Handmade Market 2021 Saturday, October 30, was a classic Fall day. Crisp and dry with sunshine and golden leaves in abundance. It was the day of the much-anticipated TC Handmade Market and Craft Show. After losing a year of business to Covid, the artists, crafters, and shoppers were all eager to engage. The TC Christian gym was filled with booths with vendors from both the local area and as far away as Indiana. When the doors opened at 9am, a great crowd was already on hand to shop and visit. Feedback from vendors was excellent. “You created a friendly “community” atmosphere”, said one vendor. “People not only shopped but they connected with one another, sometimes gathering in small groups sharing and laughing together. It was very refreshing considering how caustic our society is becoming.” Another vendor remarked, “There was a really good crowd and I found the volunteers to be so very helpful and personable. A great experience!” TC Christian’s Handmade Market is an annual affair and proceeds support the school’s mission fund. Be sure to save the date for next year’s Handmade Market scheduled for October 29, 2022. See you there!
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Do your child’s educational options leave them lacking in hope and joy? How are your children doing with their daily choices? Let Traverse City Christian School help. Besides offering an excellent educational journey for each student, at Traverse City Christian School our children are taught to seek the Truth from our Creator, Jesus Christ. TCCS helps parents give the best gift you could ever offer to your child, a Christ-centered education in a godly and peaceful environment.
Karen Schmidt Coldwell Banker Schmidt
231-218-4463
KarenSchmidt@ColdwellBanker.com Jessica Polzien listens as Karen shares a story with her kindergarten class.
Proud Sponsor of Traverse City Christian School
The Simplest Things An interview with
Meg Meeker, MD
The first step to enjoying family gatherings is to accept they will not be perfect. Instead, let them be loving and calm.
The Perfect Family Gathering! Dr. Meg Meeker, MD
Practicing pediatrician, parent, grandparent, coach, speaker, and author. Say hello @MegMeekerMD and visit Meg’s website: www.meekerparenting.com
We imagine it to be like the famous Norman Rockwell painting so dear to our American culture and tradition. The multigeneration family around the dinner table all dressed with wonderful food and happy faces enjoying the occasion. That’s what other people do, we think, and if we work hard enough we can be that family, too. But the first step to enjoying the best family gatherings like Thanksgiving and Christmas is to realize and accept that they will not be perfect. In fact, that ‘perfect’ doesn’t exist, it’s unrealistic, and it’s okay. And that the best thing you can
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do for your family is be a loving, calm presence. So says the wise Dr. Meg Meeker, the popular leading authority on parenting and family issues. We talked today about the holidays and other occasions for anxiety, which for Moms may be just about every day’s schedule. Her experience and insight is warm, encouraging and inspiring. “Expect nothing,” she says, and you’ll eliminate the stress we all experience when we don’t meet our own perceived expectations. Mothers in the US are exhausted and feel tremendous weight on their shoulders and many are ready to collapse. The quest to be a more perfect mom than our friends has driven us to the point that we have turned into crazy people. Not only are we miserable,
but so are our kids. They don’t want perfect mothers, they just want us to love them, protect them, and want their company. I have a challenge for every woman who feels driven to be the crazy but perfect mom. Dial down and ask what your kids really need from you. If you are brutally honest, you will discover that kids need mothers who love them, value them and adore them. When they leave home they need to have a deep sense that they are valued and loved for who they are. They don’t need us to perform for them; they need us to love being with them. The truth is, 99% of all kids don’t care if we buy store-made brownies, make brownies from a box, or make them from scratch. Kids just want to eat brownies with us. And you don’t have to be a perfect mom to do that. We got a call on radio from a woman who was happy to encourage her musician husband to take a gig out of town over Thanksgiving, something that would allow them and their three children to delight in a very different sort of celebration away from all the usual demands, together in a new location enjoying what they love most. That’s what my family did last year, when we spent Thanksgiving in Australia with my
son studying in graduate school. It was so enjoyable. Then we got a call from a woman who was heart-broken over things that went wrong in past years, a fallen Christmas tree and messed up gravy and family issues. She said she’d do anything to have all of that just to spend it with her son again, who she hasn’t seen in a long time. She was hurting, but encouraged by the conversation with Dr. Meeker and hopeful that by sending her son the audio link to it she could express her feelings and begin to repair the rift. “I often think I write about the obvious,” said Dr. Meeker, and I agreed that stating the obvious can sometimes be a radical, counter-cultural act. Don’t worry about the commercials and the pictures and the Facebook stories of friends who show how great things are going at their house, she urges. They’re not telling you about the arguments and stresses they have. “Dial down and appreciate and give thanks for the simplest things,” says Dr. Meeker. “Just having another person present who loves us is enough.” Amen to that.
Just having another person present who loves us is enough.
Reproduced with permission. Originally aired at http://www.mercatornet.com/sheila_liaugminas/view/9985 The Messenger | 17
Look What You Did!!! When we awoke to the news on Monday, March 16th, 2020, that our school would be closed as part of a statewide mission to ‘flatten the curve’ and defeat COVID-19, we had little understanding of what would come next. The lockdown eliminated inperson teaching, cancelled sports seasons, disrupted graduation, and generally impacted everything we had planned at TC Christian. When the news broke, our teachers and administration got busy, spending the preceding weekend developing a complete curriculum that could be delivered online. When Monday morning rolled around, TC Christian students were on Zoom calls with their teachers and classmates. They didn’t miss a beat. Nor did our supporters. During a time of massive uncertainty, our supporters rallied behind TC Christian to ensure we had the resources necessary to manage our upended year and be equipped for whatever came next. And what came next was a 20% spike in enrollment with a number of students needing a hand with tuition. Those funds were put to excellent use. Thank you for all you accomplished over the last few months. It helped us advance the cause of Christian education in Northern Michigan. To God be the glory.
Scan the QR code to make a gift to support Christian education. 18 | The Messenger
Survey Results Each year since 2017, we have asked our families for feedback on their experience at TC Christian.
This year’s results were super encouraging, especially coming off such an unusual and unpredictable year with Covid.
the Net Promoter Score which has seen steady increases from a low of 34 in 2017 to its current standing.
Especially notable is the overall satisfaction rate which improved 10 percentage points and
We hope you find these results as encouraging as we do. Thank you to everyone who participated. The Messenger | 19
Unlocking the Joy A Conversation with Gretchen Palmer By Amanda Renkiewicz
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“Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything.” -Plato
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a pastor at Bayview Wesleyan Church and owns a carpet cleaning business here in Traverse City, Pristine Floor Care. Some people are simply born with music in their hearts, and Chicago native Gretchen Palmer is one of those lucky few. “My mom used to say I could match pitch from the crib and could sing before I could walk,” she laughs. As the contemporary music director at 1st Congregational Church on Old Mission Peninsula, Gretchen mixes the modern side of music with the existing (and incredible) classical music background from traditional services. “Every once in a while, I even get to pull out my opera training for special occasions,” she adds. Gretchen has been married to her husband James for 22 years and has three teenage children attending different schools in the area, including Traverse City Christian, Traverse City West Senior High, and Traverse City West Middle School. James is 22 | The Messenger
Music has been a constant in Gretchen’s life, with her experience touching on theater, instruments, and more. “I took piano lessons as an elementary student and the guitar at 19 years old. I really wanted to be a drummer, but my teachers pointed me to violin, then flute, then choir,” Gretchen recalls. “My first stage performance was in second grade, but I don’t think I could even count the number of shows I was in after that: I had definitely caught the bug! Musical theater became my life aspiration as a teen, so I was the lead in our high school musical for three years in a row and won many awards in my state as a singer and actor. When looking into colleges, I received a scholarship to the music program at Northwestern University. It was highly competitive, but I thrived in that environment. That said, I knew something was missing in my life. It was that first year of college that
I actively began searching for God, and a reason for my life.” Gretchen found joy and purpose in her involvement with a particular brand of music: worship music. “Worship music is unique because the genre transcends every style and every language on the planet, from classical to country to rap to pop, in every language,” she explains. “It can be simple melodies with three chords or done with no instrumentation or lyrics at all. It can be extremely complex, with a lead singer handling the difficult runs and turns. It can be multiple organs or full orchestras or a single ukulele. It can be written in 2017 or 1720. It can be a single voice, standing alone on a beach, spontaneously composing a song. The one and only thing that brings each of these styles together is the heart of worship: the human reaching out to the divine, seeking the Presence of God through music.” Worship music is a constant part of Gretchen’s everyday life. “There’s always music playing in my head, like a second language. Worship music is particularly profound
in that through the language of music we can connect with the Holy Spirit, and pray and cry out and lament and praise and listen and be taught and be changed and moved in a way that just can’t be replicated in any other way. Even more powerful is the experience of corporate worship. Sometimes just practicing with a band I can sense the presence of the Lord, but add a room full of believers singing out in one voice to God, and there is simply no place I would rather be.” Gretchen shares her love of God and song with Traverse City Christian School in her dream job. “I’ve spent my entire adult life working with teenagers and leading worship, and this job combines them both! It was a perfect fit for me as my husband and I were both transitioning out of our roles at our church in youth ministry and worship ministry. We felt like now that our own children were entering their teen years, we wanted to step back and allow them to build relationships with youth pastors and leaders that weren’t Mom and Dad. But I have always had a heart for teens, particularly high schoolers. They are just my favorite people on the planet! I am very happy to be serving at TCCS.” While trained in classical music, Gretchen’s philosophy for teaching
is expansive and open. “My vision is to give the students the tools to play not just in our band at school, but in their own churches, youth group, or college worship bands as well. I encourage all my students to create a dedicated binder for worship music that they can take with them out of the doors of TC Christian. I want all my students to be able to walk into any band and be able to serve. To that end, I teach them how to properly use a microphone, how to wrap a cable correctly, how to use a DI-box, and the basics of a soundboard. Students can learn about visual tech and how to import and display lyrics.” “For the last two years, we’ve had at least one or two members of the worship team whose job is to pray, participate, and evaluate,” she says. “Since most worship bands have a lead singer, I spend a lot of time teaching vocalists how to find harmonies by ear, without any written music. I teach keyboard players how to read off chord charts, and guitar players how to distinguish and match strumming patterns. And most of all, how to practice!” Gretchen adds. She cautions, “No musician should ever expect to be naturally so good at music they can master any instrument without practice. I have a degree in music, but ask my children
how often I practice every week! Hint: it’s a lot.” Gretchen continues, “As an aspiring musician, much of the work you do is on your own, and like so many things in life, you get out of it what you put into it. We’ve had some incredible examples of musicians at TC Christian who have dedicated hours and hours of time on their own to master their craft. I only hope to continue to inspire kids to rise to that level! When it comes to leading worship, my philosophy is that we must, first, worship. Our mission is to lead people into the presence of God through music, and we can’t do that very well if we don’t ourselves go first. We work hard to prepare the best we can musically, but then we just bring what we have as an offering to God, and worship.” With years of personal experience in music and teaching, Gretchen offers advice for parents with children showing interest in music. “Think of it like learning a new sport or a new language. It takes a lot of work and practice initially to get the hang of it, and it can be quite discouraging at first. But the more you work on it, the easier it gets, and the more time you spend practicing, the faster you learn! It really is all about practice, but unlocking the joy that follows is worth the time and effort!”
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Essentials For Rebuilding Trust By Terry Porter
There are steps for rebuilding trust and we each have our part to play.
Terry Porter is a Life Coach, Pastor, and Church Consultant who leads Health From The Inside Out based in Traverse City, MI. Terry and his wife, Jen, attend New Hope Community Church and have chosen Traverse City Christian School to educate their children. To learn more, go to www.terry-porter.com
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Think of a time when you lost trust in a person with whom you were in relationship. What emotions did you feel? Betrayal? Abandonment? Anger? In my marriage, my behavior has broken the bond of trust with Jen, and I have had to work at rebuilding that trust. At the same time, Jen has had to take steps to grow in her trust in me. Today, I want to share six keys to rebuilding trust in a broken relationship. I’m not listing honesty as one of the essentials; honesty is primary in a relationship. Please note, there are steps for each of us
in rebuilding trust; we each have to do our part to experience the relationship we desire. Essential 1: TIME Time is the first essential to growth. Time is constant. We have 24 hours in a day, seven days a week, and 365 days in a year. We can use each moment of each day to build trust or continue to damage it. However, over TIME, when the relationship is HONEST, trust will grow. Galatians 6:9 (NLT) – So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.
Forgiveness goes both ways. Both the person who violated trust needs to seek forgiveness, and the person who was hurt needs to forgive.
Essential 2: THOUGHTS Our thoughts will play tricks on us. Many times, trust is train-wrecked because of faulty thinking by one or both of the people in a relationship. Therefore, we must be active in confronting our faulty or toxic thoughts. What are your thoughts about? We might be having faulty thinking about ourselves, about our partner, or even about life itself. To work through our faulty thinking, we need to submit to feedback from relationally safe people. That feedback will help us to recalibrate our thought process. At this step, you will
want the help of friends of high character or the assistance of a coach/counselor. Essential 3: FORGIVENESS Although third on the list, this might be first in priority. Forgiveness goes both ways. Both the person who violated trust needs to seek forgiveness, and the person who was hurt needs to forgive. Again, this process might require the help of a trained marriage coach or counselor. Essential 4: TALK The following three essentials The Messenger | 25
are closely linked together. It will be the HOW trust in a relationship is restored and tested. First is talking or the idea of having open & ongoing conversations: the more conversations, the better. Additionally, the conversations cannot simply stay on the surface (talking about “to do” or staying in the area of “facts”). Instead, the conversation has to go to the place of each person’s thoughts and feelings. These types of conversations might be a new area of growth for you or your spouse, so a life coach might be a great place to learn the necessary skills. Essential 5: RISK At some point, you will have to take a risk and step out and trust again. But you can take a guarded risk, a smart risk. Working with a life coach or
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counselor, you will determine when and how you can take a risk to trust that would bring about the best growth possible. Essential 6: EXPERIENCE These essentials are all theory until you start putting the principles into practice. When you start talking more, taking risks to trust, and spending time with each other, you begin to build on your library of shared experiences. As you have more shared experiences, you will have the opportunity to see REAL LIFE CHANGE. As you see life change, you will be able to take more risks in the relationships, bringing about more trust. What ‘Essential’ do you need to work on this week that will bring health and life into a current relationship?
When you start talking more, taking risks to trust, and spending time with each other, you begin to build on your library of shared experiences.
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Sports Highlights
Volleyball The TC Christian Girls Volleyball team completed a hugely successful season, cruising to a 43-9-5 record and climbing to #5 in the state for D4 schools. The Sabres won the Regional Championship title and ended their season in the Division 4 quarter-finals against Mt. Pleasant Sacred Heart. Coach Katelyn (Van Vreede) Shaffran (Class of 2011) is bursting with pride for her team. “These girls have been a joy to coach”, she said. “We had great leadership from our Seniors who helped the rest of the team step up and play at a higher level. I think they surprised themselves.” Despite losing Seniors Emma Mirabelli and Julianna Brower to graduation in June, 2022, Shaffran is already thinking about next year. “It’s always hard when good players move on but they are leaving on such a high note. This team has shown they have a lot of depth, and honestly, I think some of our best volleyball is still to come.” Outstanding season, ladies!
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Volleyball Senior Night Seniors Emma Mirabelli (center left) and Julianna Brower (center right) with their parents t Senior Night
VOLLEYBALL MILESTONE The record books were cracked open by TC Christian Senior and volleyball standout, Emma Mirabelli. Emma reached a major milestone by making over 2000 kills in her high school volleyball career. She is one of only 25 athletes to break 2000 in Michigan High School Athletic Association history. The 2000th kill came at the Leland Invitational tournament in late October. We’re proud of your accomplishment, Emma.
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JV Girls Volleyball The JV Girls Volleyball saw its share of highs and lows, but the team continued to improve with each set and match. In the end, the girls showed great improvement and many appear to be ready for the next level of play. “I’m very proud of how the girls progressed,” said coach Russ Hansen. “They made huge strides early on as a team and they continually improved their individual skills.” Well done! We’re looking forward to seeing some of these young athletes move up to the next level.
Middle School Volleyball Starting the season off with a number of players who were almost new to the sport, the Middle School volleyball teams showed huge leaps as the season progressed. This led to some exciting games that demonstrated the players’ hard work and determination. Led by coach Amanda Keene, the team focused on building basic skills, learning to communicate as a team, and having fun throughout the season. The B Team (6th/7th grade) finished with a 2-6 record and the A team (7th/8th grade) with a 5-3 record. “I am very proud of the girls learning and using their new skills in the games,” said Coach Keene. “The way the girls played in their first game compared to their last game, it was obvious how much they improved and worked together as a team.” We look forward to next year!
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Elementary Cross Country In early Fall, you will notice a group of 4th and 5th graders running around the TC Christian campus. Say hello to the Elementary Cross Country Team! Cross Country is a distance running sport where, at the Elementary level, runners compete in 1 mile races. At TC Christian we have practices twice a week and races once a week for the duration of the season. Races are held at the various schools against which we compete, but our favorite is always the one we get to have on our home course! We had a great season this year with many young athletes experiencing competitive running for the first time, and our return runners accomplishing new personal bests. Our team of 21 runners had a fun time learning about the sport of running, how to challenge themselves, and how to be a teammate with Godly character. We are very thankful to be able to introduce our students at a young
age to the character building benefits of school sports, and at TCCS those lessons are always filtered through a Biblical worldview. Congratulations to all the Cross Country Runners on a great season. We can’t wait to see you again in 2022!!
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Sabres Soccer The Varsity Boys Soccer team ended their season on a high note, finishing with a 16-6 record and advancing all the way through regular season play to the District finals where they lost to a strong Elk Rapids team. “This has been an outstanding year,” said TC Christian Athletic Director, Micah Gallegos. “For a young team with a new coach to have such a strong season after all we’ve experienced with Covid speaks volumes about Coach Montney and the hearts of his players.” The Sabres lose seven seniors this year, but have played with a roster loaded with underclassmen the last two years. Eighteen of 25 Sabres return next year. “I’m not worried,” Coach Montney said. “We’re going to have a good team next year, and we’re going to make the same run I think next year.” We can’t wait! Great season, Sabres. 32 | The Messenger
Sabres Players And Their Parents At Senior Night (Clockwise L to R): Seth LaPointe, Cole Wierda, Nathan Hresko, Elliott Molby, Roman Alekseyenko, Gabe Claasens, Dawson Mesko
Sabres Bowling Reunion TC Christian alumni representing four universities played in a regional tournament in Grand Rapids this Fall, and their coaches from TCCS were on hand to show their support. “It was such a thrill to see these great young people together again,” said Coach Judy Radtke. The former teammates had fun competing against one another and definitely enjoyed the reunion. Said Coach Radtke, “We wouldn’t have missed this for the world!”
(L to R) Jeremy Hansen (Cornerstone University), Brent Wheat (TCCS Coach), Ella Wendel (Michigan State), Andy Radtke (TCCS Coach), Savannah Bluemel (Spring Arbor University), Judy Radtke (TCCS Coach), Hannah Elenbaas (Indiana Wesleyan University), Hunter Haldaman (Cornerstone University)
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