Blue to Gold Star Mothers

By Rachael Sherman

Starla Owens grew up in a strict household with parents who were the strong and silent type and rarely expressed their emotions. When she had children of her own, she found these traits carried on to her especially when her son Joseph Lancour was killed at the age of 21. Joe was a Specialist in the United States Army and was killed in Afghanistan on November 10, 2007. Starla had to be the rock for her other children. She put up a shield to protect herself and her family so that they could grieve. Hers was the shoulder their tears landed on and she grieved quietly and alone. Bottling up her emotions took a tole leaving her feeling weak, alone, and even contemplating taking her own life. Writing about her emotions and her struggle dealing with the loss of her son taught her to embrace her emotions and that she deserves to express them. She learned through writing that it takes strength to show weakness. She was then able to find purpose when the Northern Michigan Blue to Gold Star Mothers organization was formed in 2016.

Starla serves as the president on the Northern Michigan Blue to Gold Star Mothers who’s goals are to share experiences about Blue Star and Gold Star families, provide a space where families can make connections, and to “support families of all Veterans who have died during or as a result of military service”. It was in World War I that families began displaying a blue star on a white background to represent a family member that was serving on active duty. If that service member was killed the blue star was covered with a gold star. This is where we get the term Blue Star and Gold Star mothers.

For the past four years she has worked, with assistance from volunteers including Blue Star Mothers Chapter 187, to gather family members of fallen military from the Northern Michigan area to honor their loved ones and their sacrifice. A stark scene to behold at the annual Gold Star Family Day of Recognition is the table where families place photos of their loved ones, gone but never forgotten. The Blue Star Mothers Chapter 187 members play a pivotal role in the ceremony. Names of the fallen are read aloud and a family member steps forward to accept a rose which is handed from a Blue Star Mother to a Gold Star Mother or other relative. This presentation of the rose form one mother to another symbolizes the respect, support, and gratitude the Blue Star Mothers have for the Gold Star community. It is a symbol of the sacrifice and the transition from a Blue Star to a Gold Star.

Along the way Starla has met many Gold Star families in the area and some who didn’t even know what the Gold Star represented. One woman in particular was surprised to learn that anyone cared that her brother gave his life in the Vietnam War because it was so controversial at the time. Starla made sure this Gold Star sister knew she had a community of people to connect with and an event that was intended specifically to honor her brother.

If you’re in the Traverse City area the last Sunday in September, the Gold Star Family Day of Recognition is something to see. The Northern Michigan Blue to Gold Star Mothers takes pride in the ceremony and the outreach that is done to bring Gold Star families together once a year. For information and resources please visit http://blue2goldstars.com/ or you can reach out to Starla directly at 231-613-0349.