Gauge Magazine 18

Page 1

Gauge

Gauge Editor-­in-­Chief

Evan Allen

Creative Director

Kate Digilio

Managing Editor

Talia Ralph

1RQ ÛFWLRQ (GLWRU

Kelly Smith

Photo Editor

Sarah Jacobs

Editorial Assistant

Matthew Haviland

Design Assistant

Megan Donovan

Fiction Editor Assistant Fiction Editor Poetry Editor Assistant Photo Editor

Rex Horner Nicole Fernandez Jacqueline Frasca Jake Ladue

Web Designer

Meredith Pomeroy

Editorial Team

Lilly Schneider

Contributing Writers Design Team Illustrators Photo Team Fiction Readers Web Writers

issue 18

Paul Ryan

Zoe Hayden

Alexander Kaufman

Elizabeth Cormack Emily Small

Megan Seabaugh

Ella Zander

Julie Gagnon Ariel Goldberg

Jeannie Harrell Jusmine Martin

Hanna Edizel

Lorena Alvarado Hannah Cotier Asher Norris

Molly Coombs

Jeanine Gaitan

Nicholas Dennis

Melissa Park

Zoe Harris

Hannah Rose Parry

Jamie Rogers

Rae Bourque Gordie Hendrick

Katie Neuhof

Tessia Bekelja Veronica Del Rosario Winelle Felix

Clara Everhart

Victoria Reuter

Ted Rogers

Elena Tarchi

The Final Frontier conjures images of fearless explorers and dark wildernesses, WKH HGJH RI WKH FOLII GHDWK LQVDQLW\ VSDFH Ă LJKW %XW LW ZDVQ¡W HQRXJK WR IROORZ our explorers into their uncharted worlds: we wanted more from our stories – we wanted to know why.

Graduation: the Final Frontier. ,¡YH FHUWDLQO\ QHYHU IHOW PRUH RQ WKH EULQN WKDQ , GR QRZ &RPSOHWLQJ WKLV LVVXH feels like my true capstone. Gauge KDV EHHQ D VDIH KDYHQ DQG PXFK QHHGHG RXWOHW IRU PH GXULQJ P\ WLPH DW (PHUVRQ DQG LW LV WUXO\ KHDUWEUHDNLQJ WR VKHOYH WKLV FKDSWHU in my life. $W WKH VDPH WLPH , DP VR JUDWHIXO WR KDYH KDG WKH RSSRUWXQLW\ WR EULQJ \RX RQH RI WKH Ă€QHVW LVVXHV ZH KDYH HYHU SURGXFHG 7LJKW HGLWRULDO IDVFLQDWLQJ VWRULHV DQG OXVK DUW JUDFH WKH SDJHV EHIRUH \RX <RX OXFN\ EDVWDUG

Off we went. We found a neighborhood prophet practicing electromagnetic karate DJDLQVW WKH SV\FKLF IRUFHV RI WKH XQLYHUVH DQ HDUQHVW VFLHQWLVW TXLHWO\ SODQQLQJ D FLYLOL]DWLRQ RQ 0DUV :H ORRNHG EDFN LQ WLPH WR WKH $QWDUFWLF H[SORUHUV LQ ORYH ZLWK WKH VWUDQJH EUXWDOLW\ RI WKH IUHH]LQJ ZKLWH FRQWLQHQW ZKR UHWXUQHG DJDLQ DQG DJDLQ DQG HYHQWXDOO\ OHIW WKHLU ERGLHV EHKLQG RQ WKH LFH :H IRXQG VFXED GLYHUV LQ :DOGHQ 3RQG QXGLVWV LQ WKH %HUNVKLUHV DQG IDQWDVWLFDO PDSV DW WKH %RVWRQ Public Library. John Wayne and Ronald Regan made cameos. Cryonics defeated death. At the edges of the possible, we found people hell-bent on spiritual quests and wonderfully obsessed with the impossible. String Theory tries to explain the XQLYHUVH We have to know.

'LYH LQ DQG PD\EH RQ WKH RWKHU VLGH \RX¡OO NQRZ \RXUVHOI DQG WKLV ZRQGHUIXO ZRUOG ZH OLYH LQ D OLWWOH EHWWHU ,Q WKHVH SDJHV OLHV WKH V\QWKHVLV DQG FRKHVLRQ WKDW FRPHV with successful cooperation and a dedication to pushing limits.

, ZDQW WR WKDQN P\ XQEHOLHYDEO\ DPD]LQJ PDQDJLQJ HGLWRU OLIH HGLWRU RWKHU half, Talia, who insists, always, on precision and solid, ethical journalism. Kelly, QRQĂ€FWLRQ HGLWRU H[WUDRUGLQDLUH LV RQH RI WKH EHVW UHSRUWHUV ,¡YH HYHU ZRUNHG ZLWK .HOO\ \RX DOZD\V DVN WKH ULJKW TXHVWLRQV ² \RX¡YH EHHQ D JUHDW HGLWRU DQG D JUHDW IULHQG DQG , ZLVK \RX ZHUHQ¡W JUDGXDWLQJ WKLV ZLQWHU <RX¡OO GR DPD]LQJ WKLQJV EXW ZH¡OO PLVV \RX VR PXFK $QG .DWH ² RK .DWH SOHDVH IDLO RQH RI \RXU FODVVHV 'RQ¡W OHDYH 1RW RQO\ DUH \RX WKH PRVW WDOHQWHG JUDSKLF DUWLVW ,¡YH HYHU PHW EXW \RX¡UH IXQQ\ DV KHOO DQG DOO DURXQG DZHVRPHO\ NLFNDVV $ JDSLQJ KROH LQ Gauge’s heart. Meredith, thank you for the gorgeous website. Sometimes I just stare at it and smile. Thanks to Sarah for your beautiful photography, Matt for your tireless fact-checking, and Rex for your out-of-control analogies. Thanks to Lisa Diercks for your excellent design counsel. And, of course, epic thanks to Jeff Seglin, our DGYLVRU IRU \RXU KLODULRXV DQG VDJH DGYLFH DQG IRU SXWWLQJ XS ZLWK ]LOOLRQV RI HPDLOV DQG PHHWLQJV DQG P\ XVH RI WKH ZRUG ÂśULGLFXORXV ¡

0\ EHDXWLIXO WHDP PHPEHUV <RX¡UH WKH EHVW $OO RI \RX .HHS GRLQJ ZRUN *RRG ZRUN %HWWHU ZRUN 0HJDQ <RX PD\ QRW IHHO UHDG\ IRU Gauge but Gauge is ready for you. Go with your gut. Always. (YDQ 7KH KHDUW DQG SXUSRVH \RX XVH GDLO\ WR JHW WKH EHVW RXW RI \RXUVHOI DQG RWKHUV KDV EHHQ DQ LQFUHGLEOH WKLQJ WR ZLWQHVV %LJ WKLQJV DUH LQ \RXU FDUGV Talia: When I think of all the time wasted not getting to know you I could kick P\VHOI LQWR QH[W ZHHN <RXU VXSSRUW \RXU HQHUJ\ DQG \RXU RSWLPLVP KDYH EHHQ LQYDOXDEOH WR PH DQG WR Gauge 1HYHU VWRS 6DUDK &ROODERUDWLRQ LV QRW HDV\ IRU PH , WHQG WR EH DGGLFWHG WR FRQWURO , KDYH WURXEOH FRPPXQLFDWLQJ P\ LGHDV DQG WKH IUXVWUDWLRQ DOPRVW QHYHU RXWZHLJKV the product. That being said, if I was restricted to only working with you for the rest of my life I would feel not only content but absolutely blessed to be with someone so stricken by talent and so easy to be with. I will miss you, in earnest, incredibly much and I can only hope this is not our last shared piece of work.

7KH YLVXDO OHDS RI IDLWK $PD]LQJ FUD]\ DPRXQWV RI WKDQNV WR -HII 6HJOLQ /LVD 'LHUFNV DQG 6KDURQ 'XII\ ZLWKRXW ZKRP WKHVH ZDWHUV ZRXOG EH LPSRVVLEOH WR QDYLJDWH $QG D WLS RI WKH KDW WR -RH 2¡%ULHQ DQG WKH JDQJ DW -RXUQH\PDQ 3UHVV IRU PDNLQJ RXU GUHDPV come true.

:H¡YH VSHQW KRXUV DQG KRXUV DQG GD\V DQG QLJKWV LQ RXU WLQ\ OLWWOH Gauge FDYH PDNLQJ WKLV PDJD]LQH :H KRSH \RX ORYH LW

Kate Digilio Creative Director Evan Allen Editor-in-Chief

notes

We were discussing cowboys and astronauts in a coffee shop when suddenly the question occurred: What makes cowboys so sexy? Something about a man in OHDWKHU ULGLQJ RII LQWR WKH VXQVHW ULĂ H RQ KLV EDFN DQG VRPH YDVW DQG GDQJHURXV unknown in his eyes. And the theme for Gauge 18 was born: The Final Frontier. We celebrated with whiskey and toasted to glowing red dust storms on Mars.

Photograph by Alex Dempsey

3

ode to j o h n marion wayne Words by Molly Coombs Photography by Victoria Reuter

, ORVW P\ LQQRFHQFH RYHU EXUQW YHJHWDEOH and pork chops.

and fell woefully short of my youthful esteem. In an instant, the celluloid icon ZKR¡G FRPH WR UHSUHVHQW HYHU\WKLQJ , $ FDVXDO FRPPHQW D VLPSOH UHY- respected about men was pulled from elation: my mother shares the name KLV SHGHVWDO DQG GURSSHG SULGH Ă€UVW LQWR “Marionâ€? with my kitchen, down John Wayne. Sure, beside my mother, she spells it with who was busy I wanted to be as John an “a,â€? but this patting me down was not a time to WR GLVFRYHU ZKHUH Wayne as one chubby split hairs. My sugRQ P\ SHUVRQ ,¡G girl could possibly be, but ar-soaked 12-yearKLGGHQ KHU RYHUwhen your idea of strenuold brain struggled cooked asparagus. ous effort is proper keyto make sense of Granted, what board posture, achieving I knew about the this impossibility that level of cool was no other sex was – that The John simple task. limited to their Wayne, he of GHHSHU YRLFHV True Grit and The inexplicable Searchers, American interest in prohero and probably fessional sports and possession of WKH PRVW HIIRUWOHVVO\ FRRO PDQ ,¡G HYHU VHHQ had anything in common with the birdlike W VKLUWV EHDULQJ DQ HQYLable number of woman who barely reached my earlobe URERWV %XW -RKQ :D\QH ZDV HYHU\WKLQJ

the boys who shot milk out of their noses in the school cafeteria were not – tough, EUDYH KHURLF DQG DOZD\V UHDG\ ZLWK D JUDYHOO\ TXLS ZKHQ WKH ODVW RI WKH YHUPLQ KDG been caught. How could he, the epitome of gruff masculinity, bear a name as inelegant, as awkwardly frumpy as Marion? The Marian I knew sang opera while FRRNLQJ GLQQHU DQG KDG ORQJ FRQYHUVDtions with our pair of seemingly indifferent cats. She was the opposite of the John Wayne cool I so desperately sought to emulate. (YHU\ FRRO PRPHQW , KDG ² WKH NLQG WKDW VHHPHG OLNH IDWH¡V ZD\ RI DSRORJL]LQJ IRU P\ YDPSLULF FRPSOH[LRQ DQG XQIRUJLYDEOH JLQJHUQHVV ² WKRVH ZHUH P\ John Wayne moments. Scoring the highest grade in algebra was a John Wayne PRPHQW IRU D NLG OLNH PH ZKR HYHQ DW such a tender age, was already resigned to a life of eyeglass-induced celibacy. Two chocolate puddings in my lunch was a John Wayne moment. And getting the popular girls with the perfect comeback was pretty fucking John Wayne, or at least it was in the incredibly detailed scenarios I worked out in my head on the furious bus rides home. 7KHUH ZHUHQ¡W D ORW RI -RKQ :D\QH moments in those days. The failings, the doubts, the worries – they were my constant companions. I wanted to be as John Wayne as one chubby girl could possibly be, but when your idea of strenuous effort is proper keyboard SRVWXUH DFKLHYLQJ WKDW OHYHO RI FRRO ZDV QR VLPSOH WDVN %XW WKH IDLWK ZDV VWURQJ DQG WKH PDQWUD XQHTXLYRFDO ² ZKDW ZRXOG the Duke do? Certainly not anything my mother would. Perhaps, I thought, as I lined the bottom of the bathroom trash with the smuggled asparagus spears, John Wayne ZDVQ¡W DOZD\V TXLFN GUDZLQJ RXWODZV RU PHOWLQJ SHWWLFRDWV ZLWK KLV VPRNHU¡V

rumble. Maybe sometimes, he wore Ă RUDO SDWWHUQHG VWLUUXS SDQWV RU FRUGXUR\ FORJV LQ IURQW RI KLV GDXJKWHU¡V IULHQGV RU JDYH KHU HPEDUUDVVLQJO\ ORQJ SXEOLF KXJV when dropping her off at school. Maybe HYHQ WKH JUHDW -RKQ :D\QH FRXOGQ¡W EH VXDYH DOO WKH WLPH DQG RFFDVLRQDOO\ KDG moments of soul-crushing shame and abject humiliation. “Marionâ€? moments, if you will. 7KH GRXEOH VHUYLQJ RI DVSDUDJXV WKDW accompanied my dinner the next night ZDV P\ Ă€UVW 0DULRQ PRPHQW LW DSSHDUHG that someone had grown wise to my tricks. Middle school bled into high school in one unending Marion moment. It seemed that John Wayne had abandoned me for greener pastures, condemning me to a life RI RYHUVL]HG VZHDWHUV %XW MXVW ZKHQ WKLQJV ORRNHG EOHDNHVW when there seemed to be no hope for me DQG WKH YLHZHUV FRXOGQ¡W VWDQG DQRWKHU moment of suspense, the Duke returned WR VDYH WKH GD\ 6XGGHQO\ WULSSLQJ LQ WKH KDOOZD\ ZDVQ¡W D 0DULRQ PRPHQW ZDUUDQWLQJ D FU\LQJ MDJ LQ WKH ODGLHV¡ URRP ² LW was a moment of pure comedic gold. A poor grade on the midterm, while completely Marion, Every cool moment I had – the kind that was just John Wayne reminding seemed like fate’s way of apologizing for PH WKDW HYHQ WKH JUHDWHVW KHURHV my vampiric complexion and unforgivcould be disappointingly human. able gingerness – those were my John The line has been blurred. Wayne moments. Getting caught arguing with yourself in the mirror became ERWK KXPLOLDWLQJ DQG KLODULRXV DW ODVW WKHUH ZDV YLFWRU\ FDWKDUVLV SHUKDSV HYHQ JORU\ LQ WKH PRPHQWV that had so crippled my 12-year-old self. 0LVWDNHV FRXOG EH IRUJLYHQ ZURQJV PDGH right, embarrassments made triumphs – proof that there was a little Marion in HYHU\ -RKQ :D\QH And maybe, just maybe, there was something a little John Wayne about Marian too.

5

Drawing world the

Words by Rex Horner Photography by Jake Ladue

T

he room is dominated by a KDYH EHHQ GUDZQ RQ SDS\UXV LQ (J\SW RU conference table spread with maps RQ WKH LQVLGH RI VDUFRSKDJL OLGV SURYLGLQJ as large as buffalo hides. Ronald directions to the afterlife. Sumerian *ULP¡V RIĂ€FH LQ WKH %RVWRQ 3XEOLF FLYLOL]DWLRQ XVHG FOD\ WDEOHWV EXW OLNH /LEUDU\ LV IXOO RI PHWDO Ă€OLQJ FDELQHWV ZLWK papyrus, the material easily wears and wide, shallow drawers, holding countless disintegrates. Parts of mapmaking history PRUH PDSV LQ WKHLU SODVWLF VOHHYHV , VHH are lost. People etched little diagrams in swaths of oceans and molehill mountains. the sand, but the diagrams blew away. /RQJ ZDUP VKDGRZV VSUHDG RYHU With the Enlightenment, cartographers entire worlds. cleaned their maps of chimerical Grim is already talking about a new $IULFDQ YLOODJHV LPDJLQHG ULYHUV FDUYHG H[KLELW RI &LYLO :DU FDUWRJUDSK\ FDOOHG through continents, and only drew Torn in Two. “I could always sort of look ZKDW WKH\ FRXOG SURYH %HIRUH WKH at a map and understand it,â€? he says. Enlightenment, landmasses bulged +H¡V EHHQ DW WKH 1RUPDQ % /HYHQWKDO ZLWK Ă RUD IDXQD DQG ULVLQJ PRXQW 0DSV &HQWHU IRU WKH ODVW Ă€YH \HDUV DQG DLQV ZKDWHYHU might be there was drawn. before that, Grim spent thirty-two years in %XW EHJLQQLQJ LQ WKH 5HQDLVVDQFH VFLHQFH :DVKLQJWRQ ' & DW WKH 1DWLRQDO $UFKLYHV began taking precedent. Sculptors produced then the Library of Congress. The library countertop globes in sets of two, a round LV D Ă€WWLQJ ORFDWLRQ IRU DQ LQWHUURJDWLRQ RI HDUWK DQG D URXQGHG KHDYHQV ´7KH\ ZHUH cartographic history. trying to place Institutions like the the Earth in their Library of Alexandria total concept of Parts of mapmaking KDYH EHHQ OHJHQGDU\ WKH XQLYHUVH Âľ VD\V history are lost. People storehouses of Grim. The world drawn maps. should be measured, etched little diagrams The oldest maps precise, knowable. in the sand, but the HYHU PDGH PD\ Cartographers diagrams blew away.

GUDZ FXPXODWLYHO\ Geographical knowledge comes from a mapmaker exploring an area and drawing up what he Ă€QGV $QRWKHU explorer draws on top of the Ă€UVW PDS DGGing his knowledge, and so on, culminating in layers of JHRJUDSKLFDO VXUYH\V OLNH VHGLPHQW $ FDUWRJUDSKHU¡V PDS LV LQIRUPHG E\ WKHLU SHUVSHFWLYH ZKDW VWRU\ WKH\ DUH WU\LQJ WR tell, their bias. Grim nudges a book, the SDJH RSHQ WR D PDS KH FDOOV ´7KH 1HZ (QJODQG :KDOHU¡V 9LHZ RI WKH :RUOG Âľ The map is gridded, some of squares FRORUHG LQ SLQN DQG RWKHUV LQ URELQ¡V HJJ blue, with a miniature, tumbling cetacean inside. The center of a map is of paraPRXQW LPSRUWDQFH D Ă€JXUDWLYH ´[Âľ PDUNV WKH VSRW +HUH LW LV WKH 3DFLĂ€F 2FHDQ which in the mid-nineteenth century was the last ripe territory for whaling. So the map is the story of the whaling ships.

Cartographers draw cumulatively. Geographical knowledge comes from a mapmaker exploring an area and drawing up what he finds. Another explorer draws on top of the first map, adding his knowledge, and so on, culminating in layers of geographical surveys, like sediment.

Different maps tell different stories. ´,I \RX SXW LW YHU\ VLPSO\ WKH :HVWHUQ culture was interested in comprehending the totality of space, and showing relationships within that space,â€? says Grim, “but the Eastern traditions were more interested in experiencing the place where you were.â€? He describes a drawn &KLQHVH SURYLQFH ZLWK WKH PRXQWDLQ ranges circling unrealistically around it. Diagrammatic. Accurate, but not in a typical way. %RWK VHD PRQVWHUV DQG WKH FRVPRV KDYH EHHQ DIIHFWHG E\ VKLIWLQJ PHWKRGRORgy in cartography. There is a stunning difference between a celestial atlas published centuries ago and a modern one based RQ SKRWRJUDSKV RI WKH KHDYHQV WDNHQ through telescopes. In one map from the celestial atlas, a radiant gold background sets off the planets, represented by gods riding chariots atop tufts of cloud. Each procession sits on one ripple in a series of concentric circles. The constellation signs are on an outside rim like the colorful LQFUHPHQWV RQ D 9HJDV URXOHWWH WDEOH $ panorama of stooped mapmakers winds around the borders. One, Grim wagers,

LV *DOLOHR WKH WKH PRQVWHUV Ă€W I see swaths of oceans other, a robed snugly into our and molehill mountains. man with a fullFROOHFWLYH SV\FKH beard named These two ideas Long, warm shadows 0HUFDWRU (YHU\intertwined are spread over entire worlds. thing is pictured beautiful. Grim in relationships. SXOOV D VOLP YRO1RWKLQJ LV OLNH ume from a shelf, WKH VFDOH SHUIHFW H[SDQVH RI VWDUV 1$6$ scratchy and bound in a maroon cloth. might produce. It is a collection of quotes and poems $V ZH KDYH PRYHG WRZDUGV SUHFLVLRQ about map making, the words delicate the nefarious sea monster has disappeared in contrast to the unshakable Earth and from the deep. The kraken, the creatures EORRPLQJ FRVPRV +H Ă€QGV D YHUVH E\ 2G\VVHXV IRXJKW HYHQ WKH ZKDOH Jonathan Swift, not knowing it was there, When the Enlightenment took hold on DQG UHDGV WKH Ă€QDO IHZ OLQHV FDUWRJUDSK\ PDSPDNHUV VWRSSHG Ă€OOLQJ the interior of Africa with elephants, and “So Geographers in Afric-maps, VWRSSHG GHSLFWLQJ ZDOORZLQJ OHYLDWKDQV :LWK 6DYDJH 3LFWXUHV Ă€OO WKHLU *DSV LQ WKH YDVW RFHDQV 1RZ VDWHOOLWHV XVLQJ $QG R¡HU XQKDELWDEOH 'RZQV LQIUDUHG LPDJLQJ LQWHUSUHW WKH VHD¡V Place Elephants for want of Towns.â€? awing phenomena. :H DUH OHIW NQRZLQJ HYHU\WKLQJ Something shakes. knowing nothing. Monsters, in the context of mapmaking, represent the unfathomable. The same ZD\ WKDW FDUWRJUDSK\ Ă€WV LQWR WKH KXPDQ QDUUDWLYH RI FLYLOL]DWLRQ DUW DQG H[SORUDWLRQÂłERWK LQVLGH RXUVHOYHV DQG RXWVLGHÂł

7

The Philosopher Next Door Peter Valentine and his colorful home have been captivating Cambridge for almost twenty years. But what goes on inside may be even more compelling.

Words by Talia Ralph Photography by Hannah Cotier Illustration by Hanna Edizel

O

Q WKH FRUQHU RI %URRNOLQH DQG )UDQNOLQ 6WUHHWV WKHUH¡V WKLV IHQFH

It is almost six feet high, and spans half the block in either direction. It is painted purple and yellow and green, and begs passersby to stop and read it, HYHQ LI WKH\¡UH UXVKLQJ WR FDWFK WKH 7 RU OXJJLQJ EDJV RI JURFHULHV ´%H DZDUH Âľ LW VD\V LQ SDLQWHG ZKLWH OHWWHUV ´(YHU\WKLQJ KDV WZR VLGHV DQG HYHU\WKLQJ LV DOLYH Âľ 7KHVH VRUWV RI VD\LQJV DUH ZULWWHQ DOO RYHU WKH IHQFH ZHDYLQJ DURXQG JUL]]O\ EHDUV moose, and starburst cutouts which showcase the wild garden growing behind it. It surrounds a three-story brown apartment building that, on an otherwise typical Cambridge side street, looks almost out of place. In a way, it is. The fence and the KRPH EHORQJ WR 3HWHU 9DOHQWLQH a wiry man with a white beard and handmade, brightly patched IHOW FORWKHV 9DOHQWLQH ZDV RQH RI many tenants who were forced to UH ORFDWH IURP WKHLU %ODQFKH 6WUHHW Apartments in the early nineties to PDNH URRP IRU 8QLYHUVLW\ 3DUN D PL[HG GHYHORSPHQW SURMHFW spearheaded by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. 0RVW RI WKH VWUHHW¡V UHVLGHQWV PRYHG RQ %XW 9DOHQWLQH VWRRG Ă€UP DQG VWD\HG LQ KLV KRPH FRQYLQFLQJ WKH &DPEULGJH 5HQW &RQWURO %RDUG WKDW WKH WKUHH VWRU\ apartment was rightfully his. He told the board that his Karma was perfectly balDQFHG WKHUH DQG KH FRXOG QRW OHDYH 6R ZKHQ 9DOHQWLQH PRYHG KH WRRN KLV DSDUWment building with him on the back of a Ă DWEHG WUXFN Close to twenty years later, he and his KRXVH KDYH EHFRPH Ă€[WXUHV LQ &HQWUDO Square and the Cambridge commuQLW\ +LV KRXVH FDOOHG 0RRVH DQG *UL]]O\ %HDUV¡ 9LOOH LV ZKHUH KH WHDFKHV D FRXUVH

in electromagnetic martial arts. Or, as he calls it on his painted fence, “a better way through the woods.� Electromagnetic martial arts [EMMA] are a psychic defense system against the things in the world that threaten us. A combination of meditation, prayer, and FUHDWLYLW\ WKH\ DUH LQWHQGHG WR KHOS \RX protect yourself from anything, including JDODFWLF DOLHQV QDWXUDO GLVDVWHUV LQYLVLEOH DWWDFNV DQG SDUDOOHO XQLYHUVHV DFFRUGLQJ WR WKH EURFKXUH 9DOHQWLQH WHDFKHV (00$ WKURXJK SK\VLFDO PRYHPHQWV DQG mental exercises, as well as discussion. He meets with his students for two fourhour meetings to teach them the founda-

In a way, Valentine is the Boo Radley of Central Square, a sort of fascinating “other� in the midst of a neighborhood that sometimes misunderstands him. He has been called a doomsayer and a lunatic by bloggers and reporters who have never spoken to him.

WLRQV DQG IROORZV XS ZLWK URXJKO\ Ă€IWHHQ VKRUWHU PHHWLQJV IRU UHYLHZ DQG SUDFWLFH The fence that surrounds his house LV D ZKLPVLFDO SRUWUD\DO RI 9DOHQWLQH¡V belief system, which some are quick to GLVPLVV DV QRQVHQVH ,Q D ZD\ 9DOHQWLQH LV WKH %RR 5DGOH\ RI &HQWUDO 6TXDUH D sort of fascinating “otherâ€? in the midst of a neighborhood that sometimes misunderstands him. He has been called a doomsayer and a lunatic by bloggers and UHSRUWHUV ZKR KDYH QHYHU VSRNHQ WR KLP 9DOHQWLQH GRHV QRW GR LQWHUYLHZV SDUWO\ EHFDXVH KH VXVSHFWV WKDW YDULRXV agencies are aware of him and conspiring

against him, including the CIA. He has likened EMMA to the precautions of a FKLFNHQ IDUPHU ZKR JRHV DURXQG WR HYHU\ QRRN DQG FUDQQ\ RI KLV IDUP¡V IHQFHV WR PDNH VXUH WKDW SUHGDWRUV FDQ¡W JHW LQ KH insists on being thorough in his methRGV RI VHOI SURWHFWLRQ 9DOHQWLQH JXDUGV DJDLQVW DOO WKH HYLOV LQ WKH XQLYHUVH ERWK the real and imaginary. <HW GHVSLWH KLV VXVSLFLRQV DERXW WKH RXWVLGH ZRUOG 9DOHQWLQH LV DQ DFWLYH member of the Cambridge community. According to one of his students, he sees himself as the protector of all of &DPEULGJH +H UDUHO\ OHDYHV WKH QHLJKborhood, and monitors the area using YDULRXV PHWDSK\VLFDO VXUYHLOODQFH techniques set up in his home. The fence proclaims that his house is ´7KH 1HLJKERUKRRG 3HQWDJRQ Dependable Operations.â€? He attends City Council meetings to weigh in on decisions, and has UHFHLYHG WKDQN \RX OHWWHUV IURP Cambridge mayors, city councilors, and city managers. %XW PXFK RI 9DOHQWLQH¡V ZRUN is his course. There are copies of the application on his front door, and on the handwritten forms, 9DOHQWLQH FDXWLRQV WKDW WKHUH LV ´QR guarantee of response.â€? Also, the class GRHVQ¡W FRPH FKHDS D LQYHVWPHQW WKHUH LV WR EH QR KDJJOLQJ RYHU WKH SULFH ,W LV WLPH LQWHQVLYH LW LV GLIĂ€FXOW DQG LW does not promise all the answers. -LP +REEV D IUHH MD]] DOWR VD[RSKRQLVW ZDV RQH RI 3HWHU¡V VWXGHQWV +H XVHG WR ZRUN DW D FRS\ VKRS LQ +DUYDUG 6TXDUH ZKHUH 9DOHQWLQH ZRXOG PDNH SKRWRFRSLHV of his brochures, handouts, and applications. Hobbs knew the unusual story of 3HWHU¡V KRXVH DQG WKH\ ZRXOG FKDW ZKHQ Peter stopped in. Hobbs often plays gigs ZLWK KLV EDQGV 7KH %URWKHUV +HOLRSROLV and Fully Celebrated, and occasionally,

Peter would go to hear them play. ,Q +REEV UHFHLYHG D SDFNDJH DW the music store where he works. It was a case containing a bright orange pocket WUXPSHW +REEV KDG QHYHU VHHQ DQ\WKLQJ like it, and decided to bring it to his gig at the Lillypad that night, planning to mess around with the funny-looking horn on stage. As he was setting up for the show, 3HWHU 9DOHQWLQH FDPH LQWR WKH YHQXH dressed entirely in orange. ´3HWHU ZDONV ULJKW XS WR PH GRHVQ¡W VHH WKLV KRUQ DQ\ZKHUH GRHVQ¡W HYHQ NQRZ , KDYH LW DQG VD\V Âś, ZDQW WR OHDUQ WUXPSHW¡ Âľ +REEV UHFDOOV ´$QG , VDLG Âś:HOO ,¡OO EH GDPQHG +DYH WKLV RQH ¡¾ +REEV VHW 9DOHQWLQH XS ZLWK WKH orange trumpet and a mouthpiece and JDYH KLP VRPH OHVVRQV DW WKH VWRUH In exchange, Peter offered Hobbs his course. They began meeting once a week for about six months. The night Hobbs agreed to learn electromagnetic martial arts, he says that a large shooting star fell “like an exclamation mark in the skyâ€? right behind Peter. Though Hobbs wanted to see these VWUDQJH HYHQWV DV SXUHO\ FRLQFLGHQWDO KH FRXOG QRW VKDNH WKH IHHOLQJ WKDW 9DOHQWLQH possessed a spiritual strength. “The way , YLHZHG 3HWHU WKHQ ZDV WKDW KH ZDV WKH Ă€UVW SHUVRQ ZKR HYHU WUXO\ EHJDQ WKHLU RZQ UHOLJLRQ Âľ +REEV VD\V ´+H¡V SXW ZKDW KH¡V OHDUQHG LQWR KLV RZQ VRUW of words and categories and explanaWLRQV DQG WHFKQLTXHV DQG ULWXDOV ,W¡V DOO his own.â€? During their weekly meetings, Hobbs DQG 9DOHQWLQH GLVFXVVHG ELJ SKLORVRSKLcal questions. They walked around the neighborhood and practiced heightening their senses to emotional tensions, which Hobbs says he could always feel once he tuned in to them. “We use so little of ZKDW ZH¡UH FDSDEOH RI LQ WKDW UHJDUG Âľ KH says. Though he started taking the class

“with a grain of salt,â€? Hobbs describes 3HWHU¡V WHDFKLQJV DV SRVVHVVLQJ D UDZ WUXWK DV RSSRVHG WR UHOLJLRXV WUXWK WKDW¡V EHHQ PXOOHG RYHU DQG KDQGHG GRZQ IRU centuries. He says that he still calls on some of the techniques Peter taught him ZKHQ KH JHWV RYHUZKHOPHG ZLWK Ă€QDQFLDO FRQFHUQV RU SURMHFWV RU SHUVRQDO FRQĂ LFWV “The amount of work he pours into [his course] is really what blows your PLQG Âľ VD\V +REEV ´)RU PH WKDW¡V ZKDW VHSDUDWHV KLP IURP D NRRN ZKR¡V MXVW drunk on philosophy and is pretty easy to FRPH E\ +H¡V QRW LQ DQ\ ZD\ DOWHUHG DQG KH¡V ZRUNLQJ DW LW DOO HYHU\ VHFRQG MXVW WKH way I would imagine a true, original, untainted-by-any-culture holy man would. +H¡V MXVW Ă€QGLQJ LW DOO RXW IRU KLPVHOI Âľ 9 D O H Q W L Q H ¡ V students are not the only ones who are “The amount of work he pours into curious about his unique philosophies. [his course] is really what blows In the summer of your mind. For me, that’s what &DPEULGJH separates him from a kook who’s &RPPXQLW\ 7HOHYLVLRQ just drunk on philosophy and >&&79@ FUHDWHG D is pretty easy to come by. He’s short documentary not in any way altered, and he’s about the fence as working at it all every second, just part of Zip Docs, the way I would imagine a true, a media-mapping project by the station original, untainted-by-any-culture WR SURĂ€OH ODQGPDUNV holy man would. He’s just finding in Cambridge. “When it all out for himself.â€? , Ă€UVW VDZ >WKH IHQFH@ , WKRXJKW LW ZDV YHU\ profound. [Peter] was talking about things on the fence that were food for thought, for the soul, the consciousness, HYHU\WKLQJ Âľ VD\V +HDWKHU *ROGPDQ one of the students who worked on the documentary. “So for me, he represents someone who, in a way, is the subtle soul of the community.â€?

1 1

Peter Valentine refused to be interviewed for this article. Instead, he sent the writer this letter.

All Tied Up With string what the universe might be made of

Words by Megan Seabaugh Illustration by Emily Small

E

YHU\ :HGQHVGD\ DW S P WKH Cosman Seminar room at the Massachusetts Institute of 7HFKQRORJ\ Ă€OOV WR FDSDFLW\ Roughly forty people – from undergraduDWH VWXGHQWV LQ JUDSKLF WHHV DQG &RQYHUVH sneakers to gray-haired professors in button-down shirts and business shoes – JDWKHU WR GLVFXVV WKH XQLYHUVH DW LWV PRVW EDVLF DQG IXQGDPHQWDO OHYHO WKH XOWLPDWH nature of matter, space and time. These are ancient questions. What is it that pulls our feet to the ground and keeps the planets in their orbits? Where GLG WKH XQLYHUVH FRPH IURP" :KDW LV LW made of ? The answers feel as distant and HOXVLYH DV WKH KRUL]RQ \RX FDQ ZDON PLOHV and miles for days on end, but the place ZKHUH WKH ODQG DQG VN\ PHHW ZRQ¡W EH RQH inch closer. %XW WKHUH¡V KRSH ,Q WKH SDVW FHQWXU\ VFLHQWLVWV KDYH PDGH WKH UHYROXWLRQDU\ EUHDNWKURXJKV RI JHQHUDO UHODWLYLW\ DQG

What is it that pulls our feet to the ground and keeps the planets in their orbits? Where did the universe come from? What is it made of? The answers feel as distant and elusive as the horizon; you can walk miles and miles for days on end, but the place where the land and sky meet won’t be one inch closer.

quantum mechanics, two theories that turned our ideas DERXW VSDFH WLPH DQG JUDYLW\ RQ WKHLU heads. Today, groups of physicists – OLNH WKH RQHV ZKR JDWKHU DW 0,7 HYHU\ Wednesday – are pushing the limits of KXPDQ NQRZOHGJH HYHQ IXUWKHU WU\LQJ WR XQUDYHO WKH VHFUHWV RI WKH IXQGDPHQWDO building blocks of matter by studying a ground-breaking new theory. “String theory, in some sense, is the PRVW UHYROXWLRQDU\ PDWKHPDWLFDO DQG SK\VLFDO FRQVWUXFW ,¡YH HQFRXQWHUHG LQ my lifetime,â€? says renowned theoretical SK\VLFLVW 6\OYHVWHU -DPHV *DWHV -U ´7KH Ă€UVW WLPH , JRW D hint that string theory ZDV VRPHWKLQJ YHU\ YHU\ LQWHUHVWLQJ ZDV DURXQG RU Âľ *DWHV HQFRXQtered a paper written by physicist Daniel Friedan that showed that if Einstein had QHYHU OLYHG E\ XVLQJ ZKDW ZH QRZ UHFRJQL]H DV VWULQJ WKHRU\ DUJXPHQWV ZH FRXOG KDYH GHULYHG (LQVWHLQ¡V HTXDWLRQV *DWHV LV D SURIHVVRU DW WKH 8QLYHUVLW\ of Maryland and a member of the 3UHVLGHQW¡V &RXQFLO RI $GYLVRUV RQ Science and Technology. He is spending this year at MIT researching superV\PPHWU\ DW WKH ,QVWLWXWH¡V &HQWHU IRU

Theoretical Physics. Like many physicists, Gates is interested in string theory – the FRQFHSW WKDW HYHU\WKLQJ LQ WKH XQLYHUVH DW LWV PRVW IXQGDPHQWDO OHYHO LV PDGH RXW RI WLQ\ YLEUDWLQJ VWULQJV 7KH VWULQJV YLEUDWH DW GLIIHUHQW IUHTXHQFLHV DQG LQ the same way that different frequencies SURGXFH GLIIHUHQW QRWHV RQ D YLROLQ HDFK of these frequencies represents a different fundamental particle: an up, down, WRS ERWWRP FKDUP RU VWUDQJH TXDUN DQ electron, muon, tau, electron-neutrino, PXRQ QHXWULQR RU WDX QHXWULQR RU D JOXRQ SKRWRQ ERVRQ RU JUDYLWRQ ´,Q WKH FRQWH[W RI VWULQJ WKHRU\ HYerything comes from the string – it is the PRVW SULPLWLYH REMHFW WKDW WKHUH LV Âľ *DWHV says. Still, scientists debate whether string theory is testable. It poses a big problem: the particles it deals with are so small that SK\VLFLVWV KDYH QRW IRXQG D ZD\ WR SURYH their existence experimentally. “A lot of people think that since LW¡V VR XQSURYHQ LW UHDOO\ KDV QR PHULW Âľ VD\V 9ODG .RQWVHYRL D PDWKHPDWLFV DQG physics student at MIT. “The thing about experimenting with string theory is that the scale is really so small that our current UHVHDUFK FDQ¡W SHQHWUDWH WKDW VFDOH Âľ %XW ZH QHHG VWULQJ WKHRU\ :LWKRXW LW two principle branches of physics, general UHODWLYLW\ DQG TXDQWXP PHFKDQLFV FODVK *HQHUDO UHODWLYLW\ D WKHRU\ SURSRVHG E\ $OEHUW (LQVWHLQ LQ UHYROXWLRQL]HG SK\VLFLVWV¡ FRQFHSW RI JUDYLW\ ,VDDF 1HZWRQ KDG PRUH WKDQ WZR FHQWXULHV EHIRUH (LQVWHLQ RXWOLQHG WKH ODZV RI JUDYLW\ DQG XQLĂ€HG WKH IRUFH WKDW KROGV REMHFWV to the ground on earth with the force

that keeps the planets in orbit around the VXQ LQ VSDFH %XW 1HZWRQ FRXOGQ¡W FRPH up with any explanation for why or how JUDYLW\ ZRUNHG (LQVWHLQ GHPRQVWUDWHG that matter itself causes a warping of VSDFH DQG WLPH DQG JUDYLW\ LV WKH PDQLfestation of that warping. That is, the planets orbit around the sun because they DUH IROORZLQJ WKH FXUYH LQ VSDFH WLPH FUHDWHG E\ WKH VXQ¡V HQRUPRXV PDVV *HQHUDO UHODWLYLW\ LV WKH WKHRU\ WKDW SK\VLFLVWV XVH ZKHQ WKH\ DUH VWXG\LQJ WKH EHKDYLRU RI large bodies with a large amount of mass. Quantum mechanics, on the other hand, is the physics of the incredibly tiny ² WKH XQLYHUVH RQ D PLFURVFRSLF VFDOH $W WKLV VXEDWRPLF OHYHO WKH QDWXUH RI WKH XQLYHUVH LV UHYHDOHG WR EH IDU VWUDQJHU WKDQ ZH HYHU FRXOG KDYH LPDJLQHG ,Q almost direct opposition to the constancy DQG SUHGLFWDELOLW\ ZH VHH LQ RXU HYHU\GD\ world, the world of atoms in quantum mechanics is utterly unpredictable: the location of electrons is uncertain and XQYHULĂ€DEOH DQG ZH FDQ RQO\ JXHVV WKH probability that an electron will be at any one location. The fabric of space itself LV WXUEXOHQW DQG HYHU FKDQJLQJ FUHDWLQJ PDWWHU RQO\ WR KDYH LW DQQLKLODWH LWVHOI LQ an instant. %XW WKHVH WZR WKHRULHV DORQH FDQ¡W H[SODLQ WKH XQLYHUVH VRPHWLPHV SK\VLFLVWV

need to combine the laws dictated by both of the theories in order to understand its nature. Take a black hole, for example – a huge amount of matter, something you QHHG JHQHUDO UHODWLYLW\ WR XQGHUVWDQG compressed into the smallest of spaces, which requires quantum mechanics. 6WULQJ WKHRU\ Ă€UVW SURSRVHG LQ WKH ODWH V LV WKH EHVW FDQGLGDWH VFLHQWLVWV KDYH found so far to unite the two theories. +HQULHWWH (OYDQJ DQ DVVLVWDQW SURIHVVRU LQ WKH Ă€HOG RI WKHRUHWLFDO SK\VLFV DW WKH 8QLYHUVLW\ RI 0LFKLJDQ VWXGLHV VWULQJ WKHRU\ DQG KDV VSRNHQ DW 0,7¡V VWULQJ WKHRU\ VHPLQDU ´6WULQJ WKHRU\ XQLĂ€HV

1 5

concepts of what we see, what we know LV WUXH Âľ VD\V (OYDQJ ´%HFDXVH RI WKDW the theory intrinsically has a lot of scienWLĂ€F FUHGLELOLW\ Âľ 6KH DUJXHV WKDW VWULQJ WKHRU\¡V DELOLW\ WR XQLI\ JHQHUDO UHODWLYLW\ DQG TXDQWXP mechanics – two theories that have been VFLHQWLĂ€FDOO\ SURYHQ ZLWK HQRUPRXV DPRXQWV RI HYLGHQFH ² LV D FRPSHOOLQJ UHDVRQ WR EHOLHYH WKDW LW¡V ULJKW ZHUH JRLQJ WR KDYH WR FRPH RXW DQG SHUIf string theory is SURYHQ LW ZLOO VKDWWHU form. In string theory, it turns out, if you many of our commonly accepted notions EXLOG D VWDJH WKH DFWRUV KDYH WR EH WKHUH Âľ of the nature of The stage is space and time. YDVW ² WKH PDWK“In the conematics of string text of string theory require the The fabric of space itself theory, space and H[LVWHQFH RI HOHYis turbulent and evertime are actually en dimensions in changing, creating matter constructed from order to function: only to have it annihilate the strings, not ten dimensions itself in an instant. YLFH YHUVD Âľ VD\V of space plus the Gates. “Prior dimension of to string theory, time, rather than space and time the mere three ZHUH VHSDUDWH 7KHUH ZDV QR REYLRXV spatial dimensions (plus time) that we relationship between the two. Space and H[SHULHQFH HYHU\ GD\ 7KHVH GLPHQVLRQV time were kind of a stage. The quarks and DUH FXUOHG XS ZLWKLQ WKH GLPHQVLRQV ZH¡UH electrons and all those things were kind IDPLOLDU ZLWK VR VPDOO WKDW ZH FDQ¡W of actors roaming around on the stage. SHUFHLYH WKHP %XW WKHUH ZDV QRWKLQJ LQ RXU PDWKHPDWLFV ´7KLV NLQG RI VFLHQFH LI LW¡V GRQH that said if you built the stage, the actors correctly, has the potential for creating

processes that the people who actually GR WKH PDWKHPDWLFDO SK\VLFV KDYH QR ZD\ of dreaming about,â€? says Gates. In other words, the scientists studying string theRU\ DUHQ¡W VXUH ZKDW WKH\¡OO XVH LW IRU \HW The theory is certainly drawing the attention of a lot of incoming math and physics students who are eager to learn DQG PDNH DGYDQFHV LQ WKH Ă€HOG

Saving the Cat You Love (for Later) Words by Paul Ryan Photography by Elena Tarchi

W

KHQ , Ă€UVW OHDUQHG LW ZDV SRV- Cryonics Institute of Clinton Township, VLEOH WR FU\RQLFDOO\ IUHH]H P\ 0, ZLWK HQRXJK IRUHVLJKW WR KDYH VWDUWHG cat for future generations to SUHVHUYLQJ SHWV 7KH\ KDYH RYHU SHWV enjoy, I knew it was a good DORQJVLGH SHRSOH DOUHDG\ VXEPHUJHG LGHD 6FLHQFH KDV HQKDQFHG PRGHUQ OLYLQJ in liquid nitrogen, and my bet is that if LQ PDQ\ ZD\V Âł IURP SUHVHUYDWLYHV LQ anything can be brought back from the feline-shaped crackers to hypoallergenic PLQXV GHJUHH )DKUHQKHLW WDQNV cat breeds — but perhaps the most im- WKH\¡UH EHLQJ NHSW LQ LW ZLOO SUREDEO\ KDYH SRUWDQW DGYDQFH KDV EHHQ WKH RSWLRQ WR fur. IUHH]H P\ FDW IRU IXWXUH JHQHUDWLRQV &DSWDLQ %DUW LVQ¡W MXVW DQ RUGLQDU\ Death of a hero: A likely scenario. shelter cat. Once he got lost in the base+HUH¡V KRZ LW FRXOG KDSSHQ ZH ZDNH XS ment and nobody knew where he was. IURP D QDS WR Ă€QG WKDW FULPLQDOV DUH DW+H VXUYLYHG IRU RYHU WZHQW\ PLQXWHV RQ tacking. Unarmed, I use my bare-handed EXJV DQG FREZHEV +LV KDLU LV FODVVLĂ€HG DV Ă€JKWLQJ DELOLW\ WR TXLFNO\ GHELOLWDWH Ă€YH RI medium-long. One time he ate a leaf. He WKH LQWUXGHUV &DSW %DUW XQOHDVKHV KLV IHUDO has only one eye, UDJH VHYHUHO\ \HW KH KDV VHYHQ scratching the distinct and oblegs of two Science has enhanced modnoxious meows. more. Another ern living in many ways — from If something enemy rappels preservatives in feline-shaped were to happen through our crackers to hypoallergenic cat to this cat it third-story breeds — but perhaps the would be a great ZLQGRZ +H¡V most important advance has loss — not only shooting wildly, been the option to freeze my for me, but for DQG %DUW XVHV humanity. So cat for future generations. KLV FDW UHĂ H[HV it is with the to throw himutmost earnestself in front of ness that I take a bullet with on the burden my name on it. I quickly super-punch the RI Ă€QGLQJ D ZD\ WR VDYH %DUW IRU ODWHU YLOODLQ EDFN RXW WKH ZLQGRZ EXW LW¡V WRR ODWH WR VDYH WKH EUDYH &DSWDLQ The magic behind the science (or vice The most important thing is to start versa). lowering his body temperature imme&U\RQLF SUHVHUYDWLRQ LV ORZHULQJ WKH GLDWHO\ LGHDOO\ ZLWKLQ WKH Ă€UVW KRXU RI ERG\ WHPSHUDWXUH RI D RQFH OLYLQJ RU- death. Keeping him cold reduces damage JDQLVP WR VXEIUHH]LQJ WHPSHUDWXUHV DQG from ischemia, which is the restriction of VWRULQJ LW LQ OLTXLG QLWURJHQ SUHVHUYLQJ EORRG VXSSO\ WR YLWDO RUJDQV 7KLV FDXVHV it in a state so cold that decomposition organs to swell, which is bad for Capt. YLUWXDOO\ FHDVHV 7KHQ MXVW FKLOOD[LQJ XQWLO %DUW EHFDXVH VZHOOLQJ RI WKH EUDLQ OHDGV VFLHQWLVWV Ă€QG D ZD\ WR WKDZ WKH RUJDQ- WR EUDLQ GDPDJH &DSW %DUW KRZHYHU LVP RXW 7KHUH KDYH EHHQ QR VXFFHVVIXO PD\ KDYH D ELW ORQJHU WKDQ RWKHU FDWV UHYLYDOV \HW $QG ZKLOH PRVW FU\RQLFV before his brain becomes too big for his IDFLOLWLHV SULRULWL]H WKH SUHVHUYDWLRQ RI VNXOO 1RQHWKHOHVV HYHU\ ELW RI GDPDJH humans, there is one US facility, The ORZHUV KLV FKDQFHV RI EHLQJ UHYLYHG VR Paul Ryan and Captain Bart

glycerol-based chemical cryoprotectant, The cryoSURWHFWDQW¡V SXUSRVH LV WR extract as much water as possible from the cells, so that his temperature can EH ORZHUHG EHORZ IUHH]ing with minimal damage. ,QVWHDG RI IUHH]LQJ %DUW The cat I love is about 70% water. I ZLOO YLWULI\ ZKLFK LV PRUH OLNH EHLQJ SUHVHUYHG LQ D would like to lower that percentage. $VLGH IURP GHDWK WKH FU\VWDOOL]DWLRQ RI sheet of clear glass than a ZDWHU LQ WKH ERG\ DV LW IUHH]HV LV WKH ODUJ- frosty cat-shaped ice cube. After his blood is HVW REVWDFOH WR RYHUFRPH LQ FU\RSUHVHUYDWLRQ $V WKH WHPSHUDWXUH GURSV WKH UHPRYHG %DUW ZLOO EH packed in dry ice until tiny amount of water inside each KH UHDFKHV PLQXV RI %DUW¡V FDW FHOOV degrees Fahrenheit. Then ZLOO IUHH]H :KHQ his body will be placed A common mistake is to put it becomes ice and in liquid nitrogen while a dead cat into the freezer. expands, the cell being acoustically monitored for ice Though it seems logical, membranes will FU\VWDOOL]DWLRQ ZKLOH KLV ERG\ WHPS nothing could be worse for rupture and cause continues to decrease. If ice begins to a dead little hero. potentially irre- form, the Cryonics technicians will hear YHUVLEOH GDPDJH it and stop the process. With expert This expansion, as monitoring and a little luck, his brain well as damaging VKRXOGQ¡W VKDWWHU LQWR D WKRXVDQG SLHFHV cell walls, can lead to cracking, which is from water expansion. not a technical term. It just means that his organs and body will snap and break What about all the red tape? - or - It’s into icy pieces, which is also considered cool. He’s just a cat. ,I %DUW ZHUH D SHUVRQ KH¡G QHHG D a bad thing. 7R SUHYHQW LFH IURP IRUPLQJ DIWHU %DUW medical examiner or a doctor to legally LV NLOOHG ,¡OO LQMHFW KLP ZLWK DQ DQWLFR- declare him dead before transporting DJXODQW OLNH KHSDULQ WR SUHYHQW KLV EORRG him to the CI in Michigan. And with IURP VROLGLI\LQJ 7KHQ ,¡OO DGPLQLVWHU the wild gunplay and incredibly powerful by-the-book cat CPR, to circulate the SXQFKLQJ LQYROYHG LQ KLV GHDWK WKH SROLFH drug through his entire body: breath- would also want to see the body before LQJ RQFH LQWR KLV QRVH ZKLOH OHDYLQJ KLV LW FRXOG EH PRYHG %XW %DUW LV QRW D open mouth unobstructed), followed by person, so I can wrap him in his burial ten quick chest compressions about two Ă DJ LPPHGLDWHO\ %DUW ZLOO WKHQ EH SODFHG LQ D SLFQLF inches behind his cat elbow. The anticoagulant prepares his EDVNHW VL]HG FRROHU ZLWK DW OHDVW RQH DQG blood for a washout, which is when D KDOI WLPHV KLV ZHLJKW LQ ]LS ORFN EDJV WKH &U\RQLFV ,QVWLWXWH ZLOO UHPRYH KLV of ice cubes and mailed to the Cryonics EORRG 7KH\¡OO WKHQ UHSODFH LW ZLWK D Institute in Michigan. The cooler will be ,¡G VD\ D FRQFLVH IDUHZHOO EXW QRW JRRGbye, and toss him in the fridge. A common mistake is to put a dead FDW LQWR WKH IUHH]HU 7KRXJK LW VHHPV logical, nothing could be worse for a dead OLWWOH KHUR 6LPSO\ IUHH]LQJ D FDW FDQ FDXVH GDPDJH RQ D FHOOXODU OHYHO VR &DSW %DUW ZLOO KDYH WR EH SUHSSHG EHIRUH VKRZWLPH

sealed and labeled “biological specimen SDFNHG LQ LFH Âľ ZKLFK LW LV ,¡OO SUREDEO\ also call ahead. Otherwise I run the risk RI KDYLQJ &DSW %DUW UHWXUQHG ZKLFK LV embarrassing. Why doesn’t everyone do this? Though its mostly certain to work, there are still some criticisms of cryonics. %DUW¡V UHYLYDO GHSHQGV RQ K\SRWKHWLFDO DGYDQFHV LQ WHFKQRORJ\ 6R IDU QR FDWV KDYH EHHQ UHYLYHG DIWHU EHLQJ YLWULĂ€HG LQ OLTXLG QLWURJHQ %XW WKHQ QR FDWV KDYH not not been resuscitated in the future HLWKHU 3HUIXVLRQ KDVQ¡W EHHQ SHUIHFWHG and tiny bits of ice can still damage FHOOV $QG VR IDU WKHUH¡V QR ZD\ WR UHSDLU FDWV RQ D FHOOXODU OHYHO ,W¡V DOVR ZRUWK PHQWLRQLQJ WKDW WKHUH¡V QR JXDUDQWHH KH ZRQ¡W FRPH EDFN KDXQWHG Âł WKRXJK experts agree this is unlikely. Still, for &DSW %DUW WKH ULVNV PD\ EH ZRUWK LW IRU KLV SUHVHUYDWLRQ FRXOG SURYLGH PRGHUDWH happiness to the children of tomorrow, ZKR RWKHUZLVH PLJKW RQO\ KDYH WKH FROG calculated affection of space cats.

1 9

Walden Pondering

Words by Kelly Smith Photography by Sarah Jacobs

W

“The best part is when you see the murk of the bottom and you look up and you can’t see the surface—it’s all a blur. All you can see is blue with these rays coming around like you’re in this magical cathedral of light.�

alden Pond, roughly a EUHDWK KROG GLYLQJ ,W¡V D WUDGLWLRQ WKDW half-mile in diameter, has a FDQ¡W EH DWWULEXWHG WR D VLQJXODU SHUVRQ self-contained feel to it, like RU WLPH RI RULJLQÂłWKH FUHZ GRHVQ¡W KROG the inside of a snow globe. RIĂ€FLDO PHHWLQJV DQG WKHUH LV QR PHPA rowboat bobs at its center and the EHUVKLS IHH :DOGHQ IRU WKH GLYHUV DQG VPHOO RI GHFD\LQJ OHDYHV VLJQDOV WUDQVL- their families, is something of a transcention. There is a smattering of trees along GHQWDO H[SHULHQFH D VHPEODQFH RI ZKDW its edge with a thin strip of “beachâ€? too Thoreau recorded during his residence small for walking. there. Three men in particular, Frank )UDQN )RUPLFD KDQJV KLV Ă LSSHUV LQFOXGHG VZLP :DOGHQ¡V ZDWHUV ZHOO LQWR RYHU WKH IHQFH DQG VWUHWFKHV DUPV VZLQJ- 1RYHPEHU ing side to side. Frank taught his children ´,W¡V QRW XQFRPPRQ WR VHH KDOI D WR VZLP DW :DOGHQ 3RQG (YHU\GD\ KH GR]HQ SHRSOH VZLPPLQJ LQ WKHLU XQGHUPDNHV WKH WULS IURP 1HZ +DPSVKLUH WR wear or less,â€? John Small, another latehop in for a swim, go for a jog, or to set VHDVRQ GLYHU VD\V +H KDV MXVW DUULYHG up a lounge chair by the water. He says ZLWK 'DQLHO &KULVWLDQVRQ RU ´'LYHU 'DQ Âľ Walden has kept him sane, has kept him -RKQ JODQFHV RXW RYHU WKH ZDWHU WKH VXQ DOLYH making his eyes a pair of squished grapes. ´)RU PH LW¡V WKH KHDOLQJ H[SHULHQFH , ´:H¡UH WKH FRORUIXO ORFDO IRON WKH\ WDON get from this place,â€? Frank says, “A lot of about in the brochures,â€? John says. people feel that way.â€? John lumbers down the narrow path 7KH :DOGHQ 3RQG 5HVHUYDWLRQ LV WR WKH ZDWHU¡V HQWUDQFH ´1RW D FORXG LQ acres of open space that attracts up to WKH VN\ Âľ KH VD\V +H ORRNV PRUH OLNH D Ă R SHRSOH HDFK \HDU %XW DZD\ IURP WDWLRQ GHYLFH WKDQ D GLYHU LQ KLV +DZDLLDQ the tourists and the replica of Henry VZLP WUXQNV DQG SULQWHG 7 VKLUW %XW 'DYLG 7KRUHDX¡V FDELQ QHDU WKH SDUNLQJ when his eyes make their way to the water, lot, Frank is part of a culture of not-so- he says he feels whole, like he is a part of KLGGHQ URZG\ IUHH GLYLQJ ORFDOV something bigger than himself. 7KH JURXS PHHWV QHDUO\ HYHU\ GD\ Frank touches his toes, stretches his from May to late September to practice tanned legs. He says coming to Walden deep-water snorkeling, also known as XVHG WR EH D IDPLO\ HYHQW FRPSOHWH ZLWK

2 1

Each dive is a series of spiraling moments— the shock to your system is a reminder that you’re still human.

potlucks and picnics. He used to run for miles with his son, Adam, around the SRQG¡V RXWHU HGJHV “And then I got this dang cancer,â€? he says. “I was stitched from here,â€? he motions from his chest to his lower abdomen, “to here.â€? Frank has had cancer three times. ´, ORVW DOO RI WKLV PXVFOH VR ,¡P OLNH G\LQ¡ ZKHQ ,¡P RXW WKHUH ,W¡V JRQQD WDNH me time to build the muscle back up,â€? he says. )UDQN DQG -RKQ Ă€UVW PHW \HDUV DJR John would come with a mask and snorkel and start at one end of the pond and GLYH WR IHHW GRZQ ZRUNLQJ KLV ZD\ to the other for the sake of exploration. +LV PRVW UHFHQW Ă€QG D VSHFLHV RI VSRQJH RYHU PLOOLRQ \HDUV ROG A few early birds kick by leisurely in wet suits and swim caps, making sounds like a babbling brook. John dips his toe in ZLWK DQ H[DJJHUDWHG VKLYHU

7KH FROG ZDWHU GRHVQ¡W ERWKHU )UDQN If anything the sensation—or lack there of—reminds him of his mortality. ´:H¡OO VWLOO EH VZLPPLQJ LQ 1RYHPEHUÂł 7KDQNVJLYLQJ LV P\ UHFRUG Âľ )UDQN VD\V stripping down to a pair of black swim WUXQNV 7KH JURXS RIWHQ RUJDQL]HV SRODU EHDU VZLPV RQ 1HZ <HDU¡V 'D\ &ORVHU WR WKH HGJH )UDQN VOLQJV RQ KLV Ă LSSHUV DQG HQWHUV WKH ZDWHU VORZO\ ´,W¡V \RXU ERG\ EDVLFDOO\ VD\LQJ LI \RX GRQ¡W JHW RXW RI this water, in a certain amount of time, LW¡V JRQQD NLOO \RX Âľ KH VD\V +H SXVKHV RII RI WKH SRQG¡V PXUN\ ERWWRP DQG JLYHV D VLOHQW ZDYH +H LV LQ D ]RQH KLV ritual. ´,W¡V OLNH D QDUFRWLF Âľ 'DQ FRQWLQXHV DV )UDQN Ă RDWV DZD\ ´<RX GRQ¡W WKLQNÂłLQ IDFW \RX FDQ¡W WKLQN $OO WKRVH WURXEOLQJ thoughts, they kind of go away.â€? The ZDWHU UHYLWDOL]HV VZLPPHUV 'DQ VD\V (DFK GLYH LV D VHULHV RI VSLUDOLQJ PRments—the shock to your system is a

UHPLQGHU WKDW \RX¡UH VWLOO KXPDQ 7KH \HDU ROG KDV EHHQ FRPLQJ WR :DOGHQ IRU Ă€YH \HDUV FKURQLFOLQJ KLV GLYHV ZLWK DQ XQGHUZDWHU FDPHUD 'DQ¡V UHFRUG GHVFHQW LV IHHW One year in particular, Dan made it a SRLQW WR FRPH HYHU\GD\ WR WUDFH WKH F\FOH of seasons as Thoreau does in Walden. “I wanted to experience what Thoreau exSHULHQFHGÂłKRZ , IHOW XQGHU WKH OHDYHV the snow the ice, I watched the whole cycle.â€? John shakes his head with a chuckle in UHVSRQVH WR 'DQ¡V FRQQHFWLRQ WR 7KRUHDX ´,¡P QRW DV SKLORVRSKLFDO Âľ KH VD\V ´, think, back in his day, people just looked DW >7KRUHDX@ DQG VDLG Âś%R\ KH¡V D NRRN ¡¾

KRPH E\ KLV ZLIH ZRQGHUV ZKHUH KH LV +LV VRQ QRZ \HDUV ROG ZRQ¡W FRPH RXW WR WKH SRQGÂłKH GRHVQ¡W KDYH WLPH ´, VXUH ZLVK WKH\¡G FRPH Âľ KH VD\V )UDQN DQG KLV Ă LSSHUV DUH QRZ D VSHFN LQ WKH GLVWDQFH (YHU\ IHZ PLQXWHV KH stops to tread water for a moment—to catch his breath. The steady rhythm of his kick, the repetition of cupped hands HQWHULQJ ZDWHU PDNHV :DOGHQ¡V 2FWREHU chill comfortable. ´+H¡V QRW ZRUULHG DERXW WKH FROG Âľ -RKQ VD\V Âľ+H VXUYLYHG FDQFHUÂłKH¡V OXFN\ WR EH DOLYH Âľ For the three men, it might be the FKDOOHQJH RI GLVFRYHULQJ QHZ VSHFLHV WR document, of pushing their bodies to the limit, that keeps them coming. Dan says -RKQ FRPHV WR :DOGHQ DOPRVW HYHU\ WKLV GULYH LV IRXQGHG LQ IHDU RI WKH ´EODFN night during the summer, usually alone. DE\VV Âľ ´7KHUH¡V VRPHWKLQJ D OLWWOH ELW ´0\ ZLIH GRHVQ¡W PXFK OLNH VZLPPLQJ Âľ scary about that until you cure that fear.â€? he says. “She always jokes about this Dan says. “I wanted to see what was SODFH EHLQJ P\ PLVWUHVV Âľ ,I KH¡V QRW down there. The more I did it the more I

conquered the fear of that darkness.â€? 2IWHQ 'DQ VKRRWV Ă€OP IURP WKH bottom of the pond up. To get the best footage he ascends in a spiraling motion. “The best part is when you see the murk of the bottom and you look up and you FDQ¡W VHH WKH VXUIDFHÂłLW¡V DOO D EOXU $OO you can see is blue with these rays coming DURXQG OLNH \RX¡UH LQ WKLV PDJLFDO FDWKHdral of light.â€? Walden is his church. $ VSODVK $ SDLU RI Ă LSSHUV %RWK )UDQN DQG -RKQ DUH EDFN IURP WKHLU H[FXUVLRQV -RKQ ZLWK WZR FUD\Ă€VK LQ KDQG +H¡V VWLOO JRW KLV VQRUNHO LQ KLV mouth and his account of the trip is PXIĂ HG ,Q D OHIWRYHU 9LHWQDPHVH IRRG FRQWDLQHU WKUHH WLQ\ MHOO\Ă€VK Ă RDW OLNH gossamer blobs. He says that today, from the bottom, it looks like a Hubble telescope photo of deep space. Dan nods enthusiastically as he

There were just jellyfish everywhere as I was coming up. It looked like little galaxies— globular, fuzzy galaxies all around me.

UHPLQLVFHV DERXW D GLYH KH KDG WKH ZHHN before: ´7KHUH ZHUH MXVW MHOO\Ă€VK HYHU\ZKHUH as I was coming up,â€? he says, his hands RXWVWUHWFKHG DV WKRXJK WKH VSDFH DERYH KLV KHDG ZHUH D FDQYDV ´,W ORRNHG OLNH OLWWOH JDOD[LHVÂłJOREXODU IX]]\ JDOD[LHV DOO DURXQG PH Âľ +H SDXVHV DQG ]LSV KLV Ă HHFH %DFN E\ WKH IHQFH )UDQN WRZHOV RII DQG Ă€QGV D QLFH VSRW LQ WKH VXQ +H UHFOLQHV KLV SDOPV VSOD\HG OLNH OHDYHV RQ dirt. He sighs once and smiles. “If it ZHUHQ¡W IRU WKLV SODFH , GRQ¡W NQRZ ZKDW I would do.â€?

2 3

Shedding Light on the Last Shangri La Words by Alexander Kaufman Photography by Zoe Harris

C

lutching his application to resettle in the United States, Thakur Prasad Mishra hesitated at the GRRU RI WKH 81 Ă€HOG RIĂ€FH LQ VRXWKHDVWHUQ 1HSDO 7KH Ă€JKW WR XQFHQVRU %KXWDQ¡V media had left Mishra - founder of the Ă€UVW QHZVSDSHU GHGLFDWHG WR WKH GLVSODFHG /KRWVKDPSDV 1HSDOL VSHDNHUV IURP %KXWDQ WRUQ EHWZHHQ KLV JURZLQJ DXGLHQFH RI UHIXJHHV LQ 1HSDO DQG WKH security and opportunity for a normal life LQ WKH 8QLWHG 6WDWHV %XW ZLWK FRPPXQLVW PLOLWLDV IUDFWXULQJ FLYLOLW\ LQ WKH UHIXJHHV¡ FRPPXQLW\ KH UHDOL]HG UHVHWWOHPHQW ZDV his only option. $QG HYHQ LI $PHULFD¡V VWUHHWV ZHUHQ¡W SDYHG LQ JROG DW OHDVW WKH\ ZHUHQ¡W OLQHG with trash and untethered animals. At OHDVW WKH QHLJKERUV LQ 1HZ <RUN FRXOGQ¡W see through the walls. At least resettlePHQW ZRXOG DOORZ WKH UHIXJHHV WR OHDYH their life in limbo between the kingdom that kicked them out and the country that kept them in squalor. For 19 years, rain had showered down through the holes in the cheap plastic URRĂ€QJ RI WKHLU PDNHVKLIW VKDFN LQ WKH camp. Sweltering summer sun baked the LQVLGH RI WKH Ă LPV\ VWUXFWXUH 7R PDNH matters worse, the closest neighbors and

all of their garbage, animals, family talks, DQG GLVHDVH VSUHDGLQJ FRXJKV OLYHG LQFKHV away in identically constructed huts. 3ULYDF\ 0LVKUD VD\V GLG QRW H[LVW ´, IHHO OLNH , OLYHG LQ VXFK D KRXVH where a normal human being would QHYHU OLYH Âľ KH VD\V RI WKH UDPVKDFNOH VKHOWHU KH OLYHG LQ IRU QHDUO\ WZR GHFDGHV “It was horrible. It was so horrible.â€? 1HVWOHG KLJK LQ WKH +LPDOD\DV EHWZHHQ ,QGLD DQG &KLQD %KXWDQ LV D FXOWXUDO WLPH FDSVXOH (YHQ LQ LWV FLWLHV %XGGKLVW prayer bells ring louder than car horns. %XVLQHVVSHRSOH KDYH \HW WR WUDGH WKHLU traditional, orange-and-red-hued robes IRU JUD\ VXLWV DQG WLHV 79V VWD\ WXQHG WR state-sponsored news stations. Rural folks VWLOO WUDYHO E\ R[ ,Q DQ HIIRUW WR SUHVHUYH their unique, seemingly peaceful society, UXOHUV KDYH FKHUU\ SLFNHG QHDUO\ HYHU\ DVSHFW RI %KXWDQHVH OLIH LQFOXGLQJ ZKR JHWV WR OLYH LQ WKH ´'UDJRQ .LQJGRP Âľ 7KDW¡V ZK\ LQ DXWKRULWLHV DUUHVWHG WRUWXUHG DQG IRUFHG 0LVKUD¡V IDWKHU WR VLJQ D FRQWUDFW SURPLVLQJ WR OHDYH %KXWDQ when Mishra was just six years old. As 1HSDOL VSHDNLQJ +LQGXV WKH 0LVKUDV VLPSO\ GLGQ¡W Ă€W WKH PROG 1RZ \HDU ROG 0LVKUD D MRXUQDOLVW DQG IUHH SUHVV DGYRFDWH UXQV WKH PXOWLPHGLD %KXWDQ 1HZV 6HUYLFH IURP KLV

QHZ KRPH LQ 1RUWK &DUROLQD %DFN LQ 2FWREHU 0LVKUD ZKR KDG HQUROOHG LQ QHDUE\ .DWPDQGX¡V College of Journalism and Mass &RPPXQLFDWLRQ ZLWK KLV EURWKHU¡V Ă€QDQcial backing, started publishing The Bhutan Reporter, an English-language newspaper distributed throughout the camps once a month. Thousands of refugees knew his QDPH %HQHDWK KLV E\OLQHV WKH\ OHDUQHG ZKHWKHU WKH 81 ZRXOG FRQWLQXH WR SURYLGH WKHP DLG ZKHQ WKH 8QLWHG 6WDWHV would resettle applicants trickling into WKH LQWHUQDWLRQDO DLG RIĂ€FHV DQG LI WKHLU homeland would consider letting them return. “The goal was to keep the refugee community informed about what was going on,â€? he says. %XW SXEOLVKLQJ LQ (QJOLVK OLPLWHG KLV DXGLHQFH WR WKH RU VR UHIXJHHV OLWHUDWH LQ WKH ODQJXDJH 6R LQ 0LVKUD booked time in a Katmandu radio station, ZKHUH KH EURDGFDVW D 1HSDOL ODQJXDJH program into the camps. “Radio was really the best medium to reach most people,â€? he says. “People were like, ‘Hey, this is in our language, I XQGHUVWDQG WKLV ¡¾ When word came from Washington

that the US Buddhist prayer bells ring louder than J R Y H U Q P H Q W car horns. Businesspeople have yet to would take trade their traditional, orange-and-redLQ hued robes for gray suits and ties. TVs Lhotshampas, stay tuned to state-sponsored news Mishra was skeptical. stations. Rural folks still travel by ox. He says he In an effort to preserve their unique, dreamed of seemingly peaceful society, rulers have returning to cherry-picked nearly every aspect of %KXWDQ DQG Bhutanese life, including who gets to injecting the live in the “Dragon Kingdom.â€? FRXQWU\¡V QHZV outlets with the editorial independence necessary to form a healthy democracy. %XW WKH JRYHUQPHQW UHIXVHG WR JUDQW KLP FLWL]HQVKLS DQG KH¡G DOUHDG\ VSHQW PRVW RI KLV OLIH ODQJXLVKLQJ LQ WKH 1HSDOHVH camps. Something had to change, he thought. 0LVKUD EHJDQ DGYRFDWLQJ IRU UHVHWWOHment on air and in Bhutan Reporter articles, QRW UHDOL]LQJ WKH %KXWDQ 7LJHU )RUFH DQ DUPHG VHFW RI WKH FRPPXQLVW %KXWDQ 3HRSOH¡V 3DUW\ LQ WKH FDPSV ZHUH NHHQ WR Ă€JKW D JXHUULOOD ZDU DJDLQVW WKH %KXWDQHVH Knowing they had power in numbers, the militants were adamantly opposed to anyRQH OHDYLQJ WKH FDPSV

2 5

When threats from communist thugs VWDUWHG Ă RRGLQJ KLV +RWPDLO LQER[ 0LVKUD NQHZ LW ZDV WLPH WR OHDYH 1HSDO “They said, ‘if you want your family to be safe, you will stop saying anything DERXW UHVHWWOHPHQW ¡¾ KH VD\V ´7KH\ DFcused me of being a writer paid by the 81 DQG 86 JRYHUQPHQW Âľ (YHQ DIWHU KH WXUQHG LQ KLV DSSOLFDtion, he debated whether to stay or go to the US for weeks. The aid workers in WKH 86 JRYHUQPHQW Ă€HOG RIĂ€FHV FDOOHG 2YHUVHDV 3URFHVVLQJ (QWLWLHV 23( LQWHUYLHZHG KLP VFUHHQHG KLV EDFNJURXQG HYDOXDWHG KLV KHDOWK DQG Ă€QDOO\ GHHPHG him eligible for resettlement. The prosSHFW RI PRYLQJ RQ IURP WKH VWDJQDQW seemingly futureless life in the camps became more and more appealing. Two GD\V EHIRUH WKH QH[W Ă LJKW WR 1HZ -HUVH\¡V 1HZDUN ,QWHUQDWLRQDO $LUSRUW KH PDGH XS KLV PLQG WR OHDYH 1HSDO ´, NHSW LW D VHFUHW , GLG QRW WHOO DQ\RQH I had applied until two days before I was JRLQJ RQ WKH SODQH Âľ KH VD\V RI WKH KRXU Ă LJKW Meanwhile, the communists exploded three bombs near Thimphu, the %KXWDQHVH FDSLWDO DQG FRXQWOHVV RWKHUV

LQ WKH RIĂ€FHV RI LQWHUQDWLRQDO DLG JURXSV DQG WKH 81 According to a US State Department RIĂ€FLDO ERPE WKUHDWV FDXVHG D QXPEHU RI DGPLQLVWUDWLYH Ă€HOG RIĂ€FHV ZKHUH refugees applied for resettlement, to WHPSRUDULO\ FORVH LQ “The whole program had to be shut down a few times because security was VXFK DQ LVVXH Âľ WKH RIĂ€FLDO VSHDNLQJ RQ condition of anonymity because she LV QRW DXWKRUL]HG to comment, says ´, WKLQN LW¡G EH “I feel like I lived in in a telephone inPRUH GLIĂ€FXOW IRU such a house where WHUYLHZ ´<RX FDQ¡W them to go back,â€? a normal human being ask people to run VKH VD\V ´,¡P QRW would never live.â€? – DQ 23( LI WKH\¡UH VXUH KRZ WKH\¡G Thakur Prasad Mishra in danger.â€? be treated by their +RZHYHU EDUULQJ countrymen.â€? a few hiccups around %XW PRUH WKDQ that time, the OPEs anything, Mishra continue to process VD\V KH ZDQWV WR UHWXUQ WR %KXWDQ +LV UHIXJHHV 7KH 86 HPEDVV\ LQ 1HSDO work as a media liaison - connecting reUHSRUWHG /KRWVKDPSDV ZHUH SRUWHUV IURP 1HZ <RUN WR $PVWHUGDP resettled in the US as of September 1. ZLWK VRXUFHV LQ 1HSDO OLPLWV KLV DELOLW\ 7KH RIĂ€FLDO ZKR ODVW WUDYHOHG WR WR FKDQJH %KXWDQ WKH ZD\ KH ZDQWV WR %KXWDQ WHQ \HDUV DJR VD\V WKHUH LV OLWWOH ,I KH UHWXUQV WR %KXWDQ DV D 86 FLWLKRSH IRU UHWXUQLQJ WR %KXWDQ ]HQ 0LVKUD VD\V KH SODQV WR YHQWXUH RXW

to the country and report on life in the remote corners of the kingdom. If he UHWXUQV WR KLV FRXQWU\ DV D %KXWDQHVH FLWL]HQ KH VD\V KH¡OO UHJLVWHU WKH %KXWDQ 1HZV 6HUYLFH DQG WUDLQ WKH %KXWDQ¡V MRXUQDOLVWV WR EH DJJUHVVLYH ZDWFKGRJV and gatekeepers, to emulate the Western model of the Fourth Estate. ´%KXWDQ QHHGV WR :HVWHUQL]H LQ D complete way,â€? he says. “It might take DQRWKHU \HDUV EXW , ZLOO UHWXUQ WR %KXWDQ VRPHGD\ Âľ

2 7

as you are

A Season Ends at the Berkshire vista Nudist Resort Words by Melissa Park Photography by Gordie Hendrick

W

e sit on lawn chairs on the (YHU\RQH LV VPLOLQJ QRZ JUHHWLQJ PH weekend of the season and the cold wind porch of his trailer together— openly. I try not to let my eyes wander NHHSV HYHU\RQH LQVLGH RU FORWKHG 7KLV me in my thick, two-layer coat toward the counter, where I know the is another misconception Diana clears and Mike with a can of beer, nude man is still standing, watching, and up—when it gets cold, nudists put on IXOO\ QXGH +H LV RQH RI WKH IHZ EUDYH , GRQ¡W NQRZ KRZ WR UHDFW RU HYHQ PRUH layers, too. nudists willing to endure the brisk wind importantly, where my eyes will land. For Diana, nudism does more good WR WDNH DGYDQWDJH RI WKH ODVW 6DWXUGD\ %XW 'DQQ\ LV DOUHDG\ XVKHULQJ PH RXW WKDQ KDUP ´, WKLQN \RX KDYH D EHWWHU RI WKH VHDVRQ DW %HUNVKLUH 9LVWD 1XGLVW the door again and into the grumbling self-body image, you feel much more Resort. JROI FDUW )URP KLV GULYHU¡V VHDW LQ WKH comfortable in your own skin,â€? she says. ´<RX WHOO SHRSOH DERXW WKLV Âľ KH JHV- front, Danny recites a prepared narration ´:H¡YH KDG SHRSOH KHUH ZLWK PDVWHFWRtures to himself and then out towards the RI %HUNVKLUH 9LVWD SRLQWLQJ RXW YDULRXV mies and colostomies and nobody makes DFUH FDPSJURXQG ´DQG WKH\ FDQ¡W additions in the camp, including the hot a big gawk about it.â€? HYHQ XQGHUVWDQG ZKDW LW¡V OLNH <RX KDYH WXEV DQG SRROV 7KH UHVRUW LV GLYLGHG 6KH DQG KHU KXVEDQG OLYH D QXGLVW to come here, like you coming here now, into three smaller neighborhoods of lifestyle at home as well, but she admits or no one will really be able to grasp what PDNHVKLIW WUDLOHUV DQG 59VÂł7KH *KHWWR LW¡V QHYHU WKH VDPH DV EHLQJ DW WKH FDPS LW LV 7KH\ GRQ¡W KDYH WR FRPH QDNHG WKH\ 6QRE¡V +LOO DQG +HDYHQ She still wears clothes when she goes to just need to experience the ZRUN DW WKH DGYDQFHPHQW RIĂ€FH people, the innocence.â€? at a nearby college. 7KH %HUNVKLUH 9LVWD 1XGLVW Although only about three Resort is a high meadow at the percent of the American popuFor Diana, nudism does more good IRRW RI WKH ORIW\ %HUNVKLUH lation is recreationally nude, the than harm. “I think you have a better Mountains in Hancock, $PHULFDQ $VVRFLDWLRQ IRU 1XGH self-body image, you feel much more Massachusetts. Its entrance 5HFUHDWLRQ UHFRJQL]HV FORWKcomfortable in your own skin,â€? she on Kittle Road is dappled with ing-optional destinations across says. “We’ve had people here with large, leaning trees—easy for the country and has almost mastectomies and colostomies and local skiers and hikers to miss PHPEHUV D QXPEHU WKH\ nobody makes a big gawk about it.â€? RQ WKHLU ZD\ WR QHDUE\ -LPLQ\¡V UHSRUW KDV GRXEOHG LQ WKH SDVW Peak. years. Owners Danny and Ginny Danny drops me off at the %RRNVWHLQ DUH H[SHFWLQJ PH next trailer, where a small group at the Kittle House, the small red cabin 'LDQD OLYHV LQ D WUDLOHU LQ +HDYHQ 6KH clusters around the front porch, hunched WKDW VHUYHV DV WKHLU RIĂ€FH DQG \HDU URXQG is one of the few campers who has been against the wind. It takes me a while to home. They show me around the camp FRPLQJ WR %HUNVKLUH 9LVWD HYHQ EHIRUH LW UHFRJQL]H P\ QH[W LQWHUYLHZHH DV WKH in a bumpy golf cart. Danny sports thick was an established nudist resort. She is same man from the clubhouse. Holding a eyewear—a post-care requirement of his a wiry woman with open eyes and a big FDQ RI EHHU LQ RQH KDQG KH ZDYHV IRU PH recent cataract surgery. His wife smiles smile. When she laughs, her whole face to sit beside him. often and asks questions about my life, crinkles with the sound of it. I like her Mike laughs so easily, as do his friends, while Danny jostles the cart toward the immediately. Her trailer is cluttered with WKH UHPDLQLQJ IHZ ZKR KDYH OLQJHUHG WR clubhouse. VPDOO WULQNHWV 1RWKLQJ PDWFKHV HQMR\ WKH Ă€QDO ZHHNHQG %HFN\ LV RQH ,QVLGH WKHUH LV D GDQFH Ă RRU DQG D 6KH LV QHLWKHU ELWWHU QRU GHIHQVLYH RI WKHP 7KLV ZDV KHU Ă€UVW IXOO VHDVRQ DW DJ booth on one side of the room and when I ask about misconceptions of the %HUNVKLUH 9LVWD DQG VKH DOUHDG\ GUHDGV a bar on the other. It is late afternoon, QXGLVW OLIHVW\OH ´, WKLQN WKH\ WKLQN ZH¡UH returning home where clothing is not but people are still lining the counters for DOO SHUYHUWV Âľ VKH VDLG ´, UHDOO\ WKLQN optional. plates of greasy meatball subs and fries. WKDW¡V ZKDW WKH\ WKLQN $QG >ZH DUHQ¡W@ ´+HUH \RX FDQ OHDYH WKH RXWVLGH ZRUOG I see a man, fully nude, standing at the Sorry to disappoint.â€? DORQH \RX FDQ OHDYH LW DW WKH JDWH \RX FRXQWHU +H LV WKH Ă€UVW RQH WR ORRN XS Today, she is not nude. It is the last FRPH XS KHUH DQG \RX GRQ¡W KDYH WR WKLQN

2 9

“You tell people about this, and they can’t even understand what it’s like. You have to come here, like you coming here now, or no one will really be able to grasp what it is. They don’t have to come naked, they just need to experience the people, the innocence.”

DERXW JRLQJ WR ZRUN RQ 0RQGD\ RU ZKDW¡V going on at home,â€? she says. “There are QR SKRQHV \RX GRQ¡W KDYH WR FKHFN WKH ,QWHUQHW 7KLV LV DQ HVFDSH HYHU\ ZHHNend is an escape from your day to day life.â€? Mike and the others nod silently. In less than three days, the gates will close behind the last “I think they think we’re all WUDLOHU DQG DV %HFN\ SXWV perverts. I really think that’s LW ´(YHU\RQH JRHV EDFN WR what they think. And [we the real world.â€? Although aren’t]. Sorry to disappoint.â€? %HFN\ DQG KHU KXVEDQG hope to continue their nudist lifestyle at home as well, she says it always IHHOV PRUH GLIĂ€FXOW ZLWK NLGV DQG JUDQGNLGV DURXQG (YHQ 0LNH ZKR RSHQO\ practices a nudist lifestyle at home like Diana, must go back to business casual IRU KLV ZRUN DW D XQLYHUVLW\ 7KH TXLHW WKDW IROORZV WKLV UHDOL]DWLRQ LV DOPRVW ZLVWIXO %XW WKHQ 0LNH VD\V ´/HW¡V DOO VLQJ .XPED\DK Âľ $QG WKLV VHWV HYHU\RQH ODXJKLQJ DJDLQ

Owner of the Berkshires Resort, Danny Bookstein

little house on the

red planet Words by Evan Allen Photography by Katie Neuhof

f

LUVW WKH\¡OO VHQG URERWV WR SXPS and more like a possioxygen into portable houses bility. From America to underneath the pink Martian $XVWUDOLD WR 6ZLW]HUODQG sky. Two years later, humans will follow: a RUJDQL]DWLRQV OLNH WKH team of four who will breathe this new air Mars Foundation are and begin setting up plants to manufac- pushing for funding ture basic supplies like plastic, bricks, and DQG Ă LJKW &LYLOL]DWLRQ rocket fuel. With the help of the robots, PD\ EH PRYLQJ RXW RI WKHVH VSDFH SLRQHHUV ZLOO PLQH 0DUV¡V VXU- lower Earth orbit. IDFH IRU EXLOGLQJ PDWHULDOV 7KH\¡OO SODQW The idea of space simple crops in greenhouses, and expand FRORQL]DWLRQ KDV DOZD\V their habitat to prepare for more settlers. EHHQ D IDYRULWH RI ZULW(YHQWXDOO\ SHUPDQHQW KLOOVLGH VHWWOH- ers like H. G. Wells, ments will be built against the sloping but it took a giant leap walls of Candor Chasma, part of the WRZDUG UHDOLW\ LQ HQRUPRXV FDQ\RQ V\VWHP FDOOHG 9DOOHV when physicist Gerard 0DULQHUHV WKDW UXQV PLOHV HDVW WR . 2¡1HLOO SXEOLVKHG DQ ZHVW DFURVV 0DUV¡V VXUIDFH GHHSHU WKDQ article in Physics Today (DUWK¡V *UDQG &DQ\RQ ,QVLGH WKH HQ- FDOOHG ´7KH &RORQL]DWLRQ closed settlements, there will be gardens of Space.â€? The article and trees and plants hanging from the IHDWXUHG WKH Ă€UVW VFLHQceilings. WLĂ€FDOO\ IHDVLEOH SODQ IRU ´:KHUHYHU \RX¡UH ZDONLQJ , ZDQW building habitats, called you to be able to reach out and pick ´2¡1HLOO F\OLQGHUV Âľ D VWUDZEHUU\ Âľ VD\V %UXFH 0DFNHQ]LH in which people could FR IRXQGHU DQG H[HFXWLYH GLUHFWRU RI OLYH LQ VSDFH 7KH VSDFH the Mars Foundation, a Massachusetts- DFWLYLVW PRYHPHQW ZDV EDVHG RUJDQL]DWLRQ GHGLFDWHG WR SODQ- ERUQ 7KH / 6RFLHW\ IRUPHG LQ WR QLQJ D YLDEOH KRPHVWHDG RQ WKH UHG SURPRWH 2¡1HLOO¡V LGHDV SODQHW 0DFNHQ]LH LV D 0DVVDFKXVHWWV The Mars Foundation is a successor Institute of Technology grad with glasses WR 2¡1HLOO¡V YLVLRQ %UXFH 0DFNHQ]LH D and a salt-and-pepper beard. Spread on IRUPHU PHPEHU RI / VWDUWHG WKH 0DUV the table before him are stacks of papers, )RXQGDWLRQ LQ ZLWK WKH VSHFLĂ€F JRDO hard copies of different parts of the Mars RI FUHDWLQJ D YLDEOH VSDFH VHWWOHPHQW SODQ Homestead Plan. ,WV PHPEHUV DUH D VPDOO DQG Ă XLG JURXS At its nearest point in its orbit, Mars is RI YROXQWHHUV VFLHQWLVWV DQG VSDFH HQWKX PLOOLRQ PLOHV DZD\ IURP (DUWK ² DW LWV siasts who spend their time working on IXUWKHVW LW LV QHDUO\ PLOOLRQ %XW LW¡V 0DUV FRORQL]DWLRQ SURMHFWV OLNH WKH 0DUV getting closer. Earth is home to six billion +RPHVWHDG 3ODQ ,W¡V D QRW IRU SURĂ€W SHRSOH DQG ZDU SRYHUW\ RYHUSRSXOD- RUJDQL]DWLRQ WKDW JHWV LWV IXQGLQJ IURP tion, and pollution SULYDWH GRQRUV WKUHDWHQ RXU VXUYLYDO Like many who DV D VSHFLHV %XW DV dream of space colo“We’re going to Mars. VFLHQFH DGYDQFHV QL]DWLRQ 0DFNHQ]LH We’d be less than the dream of life on JUHZ XS LQ WKH Ă€IWLHV Mars is looking more and sixties. He came human if we didn’t.â€?

of age during the Cold War and the race to the moon, when science promised both destruction and miracles. “One GD\ ZH ZRXOG KDYH DQ H[HUFLVH LQ VFKRRO about what to do in case of a nuclear atWDFN DQG WKDW DIWHUQRRQ ,¡G EH UHDGLQJ D SRSXODU VFLHQFH PDJD]LQH DEXW WKH FLWLHV RI WKH IXWXUH ZLWK HYHU\ERG\ KDYLQJ WKHLU own personal helicopter,â€? he says. “And I UHDOL]HG WKDW ZH UHDOO\ KDYH WR JHW VRPH SHRSOH RII WKH SODQHW WR VDYH FLYLOL]DWLRQ Âľ 0DFNHQ]LH HQYLVLRQV QRW RQO\ D FRORQ\ RQ 0DUV EXW YDVW FLWLHV VSUHDG DFURVV WKH VRODU V\VWHP 3HRSOH ZRXOG OLYH LQ enormous climate-controlled habitats in the asteroid belt, near the moon, and in 0DUV¡V RUELW %XW WKHUH DUH GDXQWLQJ REVWDFOHV 0XFK RI WKH WHFKQRORJ\ ZH¡G QHHG WR JHW

WR 0DUV KDV \HW WR EH LQYHQWHG ,WV GHYHORSPHQW DORQH ZLOO FRVW DW OHDVW ELOOLRQ DFFRUGLQJ WR VRPH VSDFH DFWLYLVW HVWLPDWHV HDFK ODXQFK FRVWV DERXW ELOOLRQ 7KH IHGHUDO JRYHUQPHQW LV QRW ZLOOing to spend that kind of money. This \HDU 3UHVLGHQW 2EDPD FXW 1$6$¡V Constellation Program, which aimed to return man to the moon and then press RQ WR 0DUV $QG DFFRUGLQJ WR 1$6$ VSRNHVPDQ 0LFKDHO %UDXNXV 1$6$ KDV no plans at all to build wholesale comPXQLWLHV LQ VSDFH ´7KHUH¡V QR WDON DERXW FRORQL]LQJ Âľ KH VD\V ´,W¡V QRW UHDOO\ LQ RXU plans anymore.â€? %H\RQG WKH Ă€QDQFLDO DQG VFLHQWLĂ€F KXUGOHV WKHUH LV WKH GLIĂ€FXOW\ RI WKH PLVVLRQ LWVHOI 7KH VHYHQ PRQWK MRXUQH\ GHpends on the technology working right. A

3 3

glitch could mean death far from home. ELRVSKHUHV &URSV ZRXOG WKULYH LQ JUHHQ6SDFH WUDYHO LV SV\FKRORJLFDOO\ JUXHOLQJ houses, and settlers would keep animals too – close quarters and isolation can like goats and turkeys, and small ponds breed anxiety, anger, and depression. The IXOO RI GXFNZHHG DQG Ă€VK OLNH WLODSLD destination is hostile. The atmosphere is &KLOGUHQ ZRXOG NHHS SHWV Ă \LQJ VTXLUUHOV almost entirely carbon dioxide, and much that could glide for long distances in low WKLQQHU WKDQ (DUWK¡V DWPRVSKHUH ZKLFK JUDYLW\ Seasons would be regulated for opPHDQV WKDW 0DUV¡V VXUIDFH LV FRQVWDQWO\ bombarded with radiation. Temperatures timum comfort and food production. Residents on the surface FRXOG YRWH RQ can drop to the weather, QHDUO\ QHJDWLYH At its nearest point in its orbit, which would GHJUHHV Mars is 34 million miles away be controlled Fahrenheit. by a series of Dust storms from Earth – at its furthest, it can rage for is nearly 250 million. But it’s months, blangetting closer. keting the entire planet with swirling clouds so thick that they can be seen through a simple telescope on Earth. If something goes wrong RQFH VHWWOHUV WRXFK GRZQ WKH\ FDQ¡W MXVW turn around and go home. There is a limit to how much fuel a spaceship can carry, and for most of their orbits, Mars and (DUWK DUH WRR IDU DSDUW WR WUDYHO EHWZHHQ 7KH\ RQO\ DOLJQ RQFH HYHU\ WZR \HDUV DQG VHWWOHUV ZRXOG VLPSO\ KDYH WR ZDLW %XW IRU PDQ\ LW¡V ZRUWK WKH ULVN 0LFKDHO *ULIĂ€Q IRUPHU KHDG RI 1$6$ WROG &RQJUHVV LQ WKDW FRORQL]DWLRQ of space should be the singular goal of VSDFH Ă LJKW ´, FDQ WKLQN RI QR OHVVHU SXUSRVH VXIĂ€FLHQW WR MXVWLI\ WKH GLIĂ€FXOW\ of the enterprise, and no greater purpose is possible.â€? 0DFNHQ]LH DJUHHV 2QFH HVWDEOLVKHG KH EHOLHYHV WKDW VSDFH FLWLHV ZRXOG EH highly functioning, perfectly regulated

shades and mirrors. “[They] might say, ‘we want a really long springtime, and we ZDQW D UHDOO\ KRW $XJXVW ZKHUH HYHU\ERG\ goes swimming, and then we want a VKRUW 1RYHPEHU VR ZH FDQ JR ULJKW IURP 2FWREHU WR IUHH]LQJ ZHDWKHU VR ZH FDQ ice skate for one month, and then back to VSULQJ Âľ H[SODLQV 0DFNHQ]LH +H Ă LSV WKURXJK SLFWXUHV RI ZKDW the habitats would look like inside. The larger common areas are modeled on WKH %XUOLQJWRQ 0DOO LQ 0DVVDFKXVHWWV There are tables where people can sit and talk, gardens lining the walls, high DUFKHG FHLOLQJV DQG VOHHN HOHYDWRUV $Q

LPDJH RI D SULYDWH earth, its lines of KRPH VKRZV D OLYlatitude and longiLQJ URRP WKH VL]H tude measuring a “Children would keep and shape of a world of the past. large trailer-home. 0 D F N H Q ] L H pets: flying squirrels that 7KHUH¡V D FRXFK HQYLVLRQV VSDFH DV could glide for long disa coffee table, an a fresh start, free tances in low gravity.â€? armchair. The of many of the back wall is glass, YLROHQW FRQĂ LFWV ZH and it looks out struggle with here onto copper hills on earth. “There in Martian daylight. The dust that hangs certainly can be wars in space,â€? he allows, LQ 0DUV¡V DWPRVSKHUH WXUQV WKH DLU D “but you eliminate a few of the reasons KD]\ UHGGLVK \HOORZ ,Q WKH IRUHJURXQG for wars. There are no holy sites in space, is an old-fashioned standing globe of the DW OHDVW QRW \HW 6R \RX ZRXOGQ¡W EH Ă€JKW-

LQJ RYHU -HUXVDOHP RU WKH 0LGGOH (DVW 7KHUH DUHQ¡W DQFHVWUDO KRPHODQGV Âľ $QG UHVRXUFHV LQ VSDFH DUH VSUHDG RXW 1R one has found oil or diamond deposits to Ă€JKW RYHU As he describes fantastical sounding VSDFH FRORQLHV 0DFNHQ]LH ZULWHV IXULously on the papers in front of him: comSOLFDWHG IRUPXODV IRU YHU\ UHDO FKHPLFDO reactions that would turn hydrogen and carbon dioxide into methane rocket fuel, breathable air, and drinkable water. He holds up a salt shaker that Mars settlers could make using chemicals from the Martian atmosphere. “This is made out of thin air on Mars,â€? he says, running his Ă€QJHUV DORQJ LWV ULSSOHG VXUIDFH )RU PDQ\ VSDFH FRORQL]DWLRQ LV PRUH than just a practical matter: it is an essential human quest. The explorer is, after all, DQ DUFKHW\SDO Ă€JXUH D KHUR LQ WKH KLVWRU\ RI HYHU\ FLYLOL]DWLRQ $HURVSDFH HQJLQHHU Robert Zubrin, President of the Mars 6RFLHW\ DQG DXWKRU RI WKH LQĂ XHQWLDO ERRN The Case for Mars EHOLHYHV WKDW OLIH RQ 0DUV LV LQHYLWDEOH ´+XPDQV KDYH D QHHG WR JR ZKHUH WKH\¡YH QHYHU JRQH EHIRUH VHH ZKDW WKH\¡YH QHYHU VHHQ EHIRUH WR GR WKLQJV WKDW KDYH QHYHU EHHQ GRQH EHIRUH Âľ KH VD\V ´7KDW¡V WKH XUJH WKDW EURXJKW XV out of Africa and made us into a global VSHFLHV WKDW¡V WKH XUJH WKDW¡V JRQQD WDNH XV WR 0DUV 6R ZH¡UH JRLQJ WR 0DUV :H¡G EH OHVV WKDQ KXPDQ LI ZH GLGQ¡W Âľ

3 5

antarctica a cold hearted love affair Words by ZoĂŤ Hayden Photography by Ted Rogers Illustration by Emily Small

A

ntarctica has a way of makLQJ PRUWDO SHULO XQEHOLHYDEO\ intoxicating. Just ask Ernest Shackleton, whose wife, Emily, PLJKW KDYH FDOOHG $QWDUFWLFD KLV PLVWUHVV Obsessed with the brutal landscape, he returned again and again to try and conquer the continent. 6KDFNOHWRQ ZDVQ¡W MXVW D GUHDPHU +H NQHZ KRZ GLIĂ€FXOW DQ $QWDUFWLF MRXUQH\ could be. He had been to Antarctica under the command of Robert Falcon 6FRWW LQ EXW ZDV VHQW KRPH HDUO\ on account of his poor health. The conWLQHQW KDG DOUHDG\ EHJXLOHG KLP ,Q he led the expedition that reached what was then the furthest southern latitude, only 112 miles from the Pole. It had WDNHQ 6KDFNOHWRQ DQG KLV SDUW\ MXVW RYHU WZR PRQWKV RI WUDYHOLQJ WR PDNH LW IURP McMurdo Sound in Western Antarctica WR WKLV SRLQW DQG ZKHQ WKH\ Ă€QDOO\ turned around, they barely had any supSOLHV WR OLYH RQ 7KH\ KDG WR UDFH EDFN WR WKHLU EDVH Ă€JKWLQJ KXQJHU DOO WKH ZD\ )RU this effort, Shackleton was knighted in

the United Kingdom. In 1912, he learned Their original mission, the crossing of that his former commander Scott had the Antarctic continent on foot, had long SHULVKHG LQ :HVWHUQ $QWDUFWLFD RI VWDUYD- been forgotten. The once-proud expedition after his own failed push to the Pole. WLRQ ZDV QRZ D YLOODJH RI FDQYDV WHQWV According to his correspondence with plopped helplessly upon the surface Emily, he had no intention of going back of the ice. WR WKH $QWDUFWLF %XW LQ WKLV FDVH KH GLG %XW LFH LV D WULFN\ WKLQJ DQG ZKHWKHU DW ZKDW DQ\ PDQ ZRXOG GR ZKLOH KDYLQJ D land or sea, it is inescapable in Antarctica. long extramarital affair: he lied. $W DQ\ PRPHQW VKHOYHV RI XQEURNHQ So, in March of 1916, four years whiteness could split with the rise and after the death of Scott, Shackleton was fall of water beneath. Pockets of ice QRW DW KRPH LQ 1RUIRON (QJODQG ZLWK FRXOG PHOW ZLWKLQ WKH ERG\ RI WKH Ă RH his wife and family. He was adrift on an PDNLQJ KLGGHQ Ă€VVXUHV WKDW ZRXOG VXGLFH Ă RH LQ WKH :HGGHOO 6HD +LV VKLS KDG GHQO\ IDLO WR VXSSRUW D PDQ¡V ZHLJKW been crushed four months earlier by the 7KH GDQJHU ZDV FRQVWDQW %XW LW ZDV ZKDW immense pressure of the SDFN LFH +H VXUYH\HG each of his 28 men daily, looking for indications According to his correspondence of the deterioration of with Emily, Shackleton had no intenWKHLU GULYH RU WKHLU PHQWDO tion of going back to the Antarctic. state. They were waiting But in this case he did what any for an opening in the ice, man would do while having a long a chance to launch the extramarital affair: he lied. boats, a chance to set off and make landfall.

Shackleton had come for. Expeditions to the Antarctic, both in 6KDFNOHWRQ¡V WLPH DQG QRZ DOZD\V WHHWHU EHWZHHQ FRQFHLYDEOH ULVNV DQG XQEHOLHYable ones. The men of the Heroic Age RI $QWDUFWLF ([SORUDWLRQ FRXOG KDYH hardly picked a more forbidding place to WU\ WR FRQTXHU 7KH GHVLUH IRU DGYHQWXUH ZDV RIWHQ MXVWLĂ€HG ZLWK D UHDVRQ OLNH VFLHQWLĂ€F GLVFRYHU\ RU UHVHDUFK DQG WKH expeditions often took meteorologists, biologists, and geologists along for the ULGH %XW D FOHDUO\ VWDWHG JRDO GRHVQ¡W WDNH DZD\ WKH WKULOO ,W FHUWDLQO\ GLGQ¡W PDNH LW any less likely that they would die. Today, people still return to Ross ,VODQG ZKLFK LV IUR]HQ LQWR WKH LFH WKDW SHUPDQHQWO\ FRYHUV 0F0XUGR 6RXQG Once the trusty base for Shackleton, Scott, and other expedition leaders of the Heroic Age, it is now the site of McMurdo Station, the largest human habitation in Antarctica. 7KH XVXDO PHWKRG RI DUULYDO LV E\ DLU 7KH YHVVHO LV DQ XQJODPRURXV FDUJR SODQH Ă€OOHG ZLWK IRRG OXJJDJH DQG RWKHU VXSplies. Earplugs are distributed to shield passengers from the loud roar of the HQJLQH 7KH YLHZ KDVQ¡W FKDQJHG VLQFH SODQHV ZHUH Ă€UVW

Ă RZQ WR $QWDUFWLFD WKH VHD LFH PDNHV LWV Ă€UVW DSSHDUDQFH WKURXJK a tiny window, and the plane lands RQ WKDW VDPH IUR]HQ RFHDQ (YHU\WKLQJ LV FROG DQG DERYH all, extremely white. The only interruption in the snowy whiteQHVV LV EODFN DVK\ URFN VHUYLQJ DV a reminder that at one point, four YROFDQRHV HUXSWHG IURP WKH VHD to produce this tiny island, now locked in ice. The weather is extremely dry: Antarctica is a desert. Lips crack immediately when exposed to the air. The sun is blindLQJ DQG HYHU\ ELW RI VNLQ PXVW EH FRYHUHG ZLWK VXQVFUHHQ LQFOXGLQJ WKH LQVLGHV RI QRVWULOV ,W¡V D MDUring contrast that has always enWUDQFHG YLVLWRUV 7KHLU DGPLUDWLRQ from afar draws them in – the FRQWLQHQW¡V KDUVKQHVV DQG beauty keep them coming back. Sarah Das is a glaciologist who has studied on McMurdo. She took

The desire for adventure was often justified with a reason like scientific discovery or research, and the expeditions often took meteorologists, biologists, and geologists along for the ride. But a clearly stated goal doesn’t take away the thrill. It certainly didn’t make it any less likely that they would die.

KHU Ă€UVW WULS WR $QWDUFWLFD LQ ZRUNLQJ DV D Ă€HOG DVVLVWDQW RQ $QWDUFWLF UHVHDUFK SURMHFWV ´7KH Ă€UVW WLPH ZDV WRWDOO\ different and exciting,â€? she says. “When \RX DUULYH \RX DUH MXVW RYHUZKHOPHG ZLWK WKLV EODVW RI FROG DQG ZKLWH ,W¡V VWLOO OLNH WKLV HYHU\ WLPH , JHW RII WKH SODQH Âľ Das, who currently works at Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution (WHOI) in Massachusetts, has been to Antarctica a total of six times. “I always liked

H[SORULQJ DQG DGYHQWXUH , WKRXJKW it would be neat in college to go to Antarctica,â€? she says. She describes McMurdo as a space camp, built KDSKD]DUGO\ RQ WKH PRRQ ² D PD]H RI GRUPLWRULHV DQG PHVV halls, full of military personnel and scientists. She says she felt utterly RYHUZKHOPHG E\ WKH ODFN RI FRORUV the lack of children, the lack of growing things. The experience ZDV XQH[SHFWHG IDU UHPRYHG IURP WKH GUDPDWLF JUDQGLRVH YLVLRQV RI OLIH LQ $QWDUFWLFD WKDW VKH¡G had before. The reality was far more interesting. :KHUH OLIH KDV HYROYHG EHQHDWK the Antarctic Circle, it tends to stand out in stark contrast to the featureless, unbroken ice that constitutes much of the continent. Chris Linder, an oceanographic researcher, writer, and freelance photographer who has also worked for WHOI, has watched this HYROXWLRQ XQIROG He has taken three Antarctic journeys, DQG KLV SDUWLFXODU UHVHDUFK JDYH KLP WKH

RSSRUWXQLW\ WR OLYH ZLWK WKH YDVW FRORQ\ of AdĂŠlie penguins on Ross IsODQG ´,W¡V a microcosm of Antarctica,â€? he says. “All of the life on Antarctica exists on the edges of the continent. The penguins are on the edges of Ross Island.â€? Half a million SHQJXLQV OLYH RQ WKH LVODQG \HDU URXQG RXWQXPEHULQJ WKH KXPDQV ZKR call McMurdo their temporary home in the summertime. %XW $QWDUFWLFD LV KDUGO\ KRPH ,W SRVHV LQFUHGLEOH GDQJHU \HW ZH FDQ¡W NHHS RXUVHOYHV DZD\ :KDW VWDUWHG DV D KHDWHG crush has become a long, sensational romance. Much effort has gone into making Antarctica more habitable for WKH SHRSOH ZKR YLVLW KHU EXW WKH KDUVK climate is just as unpredictable, the contrast to landscapes that naturally support KXPDQ OLIH MXVW DV JUHDW <HW WKH SHRSOH ZKR KDYH EHHQ WKHUH VHH $QWDUFWLFD ZLWK WKH URPDQWLFLVW¡V H\H ´<RX JR WKHUH RQce,â€? says Linder, “all you think about is a different way to JHW GRZQ ,W¡V OLNH JRLQJ WR DQRWKHU planet entirely.â€?

Deserted I Words by Lilly Schneider Illustration by Rae Bourque

n July of the summer that marked my halfway point through college, my best friend Graham and I set out in an old grey Toyota to conquer the $PHULFDQ :HVW :H Ă€JXUHG ZH¡G VWDUW LQ Washington, swing across Oregon, Idaho and Utah, then climb up through the whole state of California. Just the two of us, with camping gear and our steady grey steed: we wanted to feel like the pioneers of the past. We wanted to look out at $PHULFD DQG Ă€QG LW ZDV HYHU\WKLQJ ZH thought it was or had been. $W QLJKW ZH FDPSHG EHVLGH ULYHUV sleeping in the dirt. We sang old songs to OXOO RXUVHOYHV WR VOHHS ZDVKHG RXU GLVKHV in the water. Daytime was for speed. We clocked triple digits through Utah, where we stood on cliffs all the colors of a burnt UDLQERZ DQG ORRNHG RXW RYHU WKH VDPH ODQGVFDSH WKH H[SORUHUV PXVW KDYH VHHQ :H UROOHG WKURXJK JOLWWHULQJ /DV 9HJDV DV quickly as possible, in chilly dawn, and a day later we entered the strange world of -RVKXD 7UHH 1DWLRQDO 3DUN 'HHS LQ WKH 0RMDYH 'HVHUW WKH ´SDUNÂľ HQFRPSDVVHG one winding road, marked campsites, and a few plastic outhouses. There was no running water anywhere, and the nearest WRZQ ZDV IRUW\ Ă€YH PLQXWHV DZD\

1R SODFH VR IDU QRW HYHQ 8WDK¡V the landscape. We could also see the parkgargantuan canyons, had seemed as new ing lot, and our car, parked a few ridges to our eyeballs as this. I imagined that beyond. Why not explore a little further? frontiering folk had seen it in the same 7KH FDU ZDV MXVW RYHU WKDW ULGJH LI ZH way. It was like another planet. Rocks took a shortcut. rose up in great swells and points, or surAnd this is how Graham and I got faced from the dusty earth like the backs lost. of whales. They were unlike any rocks ,Q WKH 0RMDYH 'HVHUW ZH¡G HYHU VHHQ DQG ZH GLGQ¡W UHFRJQL]H In July. any of the plants. The Joshua trees, bare, We had no cell phone, no map, no crooked things with baubles of spikes on sunscreen, no food, and only half a galtheir branch-ends, were sometimes two lon of water. feet high and sometimes six. All sense ,¡P QRW VXUH ZKHQ ZH UHDOL]HG ZH RI VFDOH RI SHUVSHFWLYH ZDV JRQH ORRN- ZHUH ORVW $W Ă€UVW ZH ZHUH HQMR\LQJ RXUing out, it was impossible to tell whether VHOYHV DQG WKHQ ZH ZHUH D OLWWOH QHUYRXV VRPHWKLQJ ZDV RQH RU Ă€YH PLOHV DZD\ :H and then we were screwed. The sun, so parked in an abandoned campsite and KRW WKH UDQJHU KDG DGYLVHG QR PRUH WKDQ went immediately out into the desert, WZHQW\ PLQXWHV¡ UDZ H[SRVXUH SHU GD\ KDG eager to explore. VHHPHG DW Ă€UVW D FXULRVLW\ WR XV VWUDQJH The rocks were rough like coral is VXQ VLWWLQJ XS WKHUH VR KRW 6XGGHQO\ URXJK (YHQ ZLWK RXU FDU VWLIIHQHG MRLQWV WKH YHU\ VXQ WKDW KDG ZDUPHG XV QLFHO\ ZH IRXQG ZH FRXOG FOLPE QHDU YHUWLFDO RXU ZKROH VKRUW OLYHV EHFDPH D VHULRXV rock faces, and we threat, a killer. We clambered around decided on a difeeling stronger and rection and went Suddenly, the very sun more agile than we that way, climbing that had warmed us really were until we RYHU URFNV ZKHQ nicely our whole short IRXQG D ODUJH Ă DW we had to, trying lives became a serious one where we could WR NHHS RXUVHOYHV rest and look out at in the slim linthreat, a killer.

ings of shade along their sides when we FRXOGÂłZKLFK ZDV DOPRVW QHYHU 7KH URDG FRXOG EH DURXQG DQ\ WXUQ RYHU DQ\ ZDUSHG URFN IRUPDWLRQ %XW LW QHYHU ZDV and there was nothing else to do but keep JRLQJ KRSLQJ WR KHOO ZH ZHUHQ¡W SXWWLQJ RXUVHOYHV IXUWKHU LQWR WKLV XQOLYDEOH ODQG to some abstract point where there was no coming back. 1RZ DQG WKHQ WKH VDQG EHQHDWK RXU IHHW JDYH ZD\ WR UDEELW RU VQDNH KROHV DQG ZH¡G EROW WHUULĂ€HG 7KH QHDUE\ URFNV seemed to shift and swell as we passed them, unpredictably, like clouds. Panic thumped like an engine in my chest. The low brown mountains in the distance ULSSOHG OD]LO\ LQ WKH KHDW WKH\ ZHUH DOO around us, like a cage. We walked as quickly as the hot air allowed, eyes on the ground. We stepped past listless tumbleweeds, blackened paddles of cactus come apart from each other and lying in dead piles on the ground, and something wildly angular, bursting with spikes, that looked like electricity in cactus form. The longer we walked, the less we cared if we were scraped or poked. Finding the road was our only reason. Only when thirst became unbear-

Relief was violent: Graham fell his to his knees on the hot pavement; I grabbed what was left of the water and guzzled.

able did we stop and take the most FRQVHUYDWLYH JXOSV of water we could PDQDJH :H GLGQ¡W look at each other during these times. It was too much to think about why we must FRQVHUYH DQG , WKLQN ZH EHJDQ WR UHVHQW each other at each sip. I wondered how it felt to the explorers of the past when there was no water left. When there was QR URDG WR Ă€QG LQ WKH Ă€UVW SODFH $ GU\ ULYHU EHG VXUIDFHG EHIRUH XV and maybe because it was more like a SDWK WKDQ DQ\WKLQJ ZH¡G VHHQ IRU D ZKLOH we followed it all the way up a high ridge, grabbing sagebrush to help us climb, scaring a few jackrabbits. We stopped at WKH WRS WR VXUYH\ PRUH RI WKH URDGOHVV desert. It was so terribly ugly. So awfully, horribly untouched and empty of life. ´<RX¡UH EOHHGLQJ Âľ *UDKDP VDLG $ crooked line of blood ran from my thigh WR P\ DQNOH ,W GLGQ¡W KXUW EXW LW DOVR GLGQ¡W VWRS , GDEEHG DW LW ZLWK D UHFHLSW *UDKDP IRXQG LQ KLV SRFNHW \HVWHUGD\ ZH¡G ERXJKW EDJHOV FDUURWV UDQFK GUHVVing and three bottles of Gatorade at a 9LFN¡V 6XSHUPDUNHW LQ /DV 9HJDV We had been lost for somewhere near

three hours, not speaking, only forging on—not because we were EUDYH RU SDWULotic, but because we had made a choice, and had to follow it through. And then, DW ODVW VROLG DQG Ă€UP DQG ZLGH WKH URDG 7LUHG DV ZHUH ZH UDQ 5HOLHI ZDV YLROHQW Graham fell his to his knees on the hot SDYHPHQW , JUDEEHG ZKDW ZDV OHIW RI WKH ZDWHU DQG JX]]OHG We set off wearily for the car, and UHDOL]HG D PLOH ODWHU ZH ZHUH JRLQJ WKH ZURQJ ZD\ $W OHDVW D GR]HQ GULYHUV LJnored our outstretched thumbs before a young couple stopped and let us into their car: a shock of air conditioning and leathHU VHDWV )LQDOO\ ZH DUULYHG DW RXU 7R\RWD ZKLFK KDG QHYHU ORRNHG VR SDWKHWLF QRU so grand. “Water,â€? said Graham. 7KH -DFN ,Q 7KH %R[ ZDV D FRRO FXEH of chrome and polished plastics. For under two dollars you got a soda, and UHĂ€OOV ZHUH IUHH , GRQ¡W UHPHPEHU ZKDW I ordered, only that it was the coldest, VZHHWHVW WKLQJ ,¡G HYHU WDVWHG The next day we turned north, toZDUGV WKH EOXH 3DFLĂ€F

4 1

President

ray gu

un

zap! zap! zap! Words by Matthew Haviland Photography by Zoe Harris

R

RQDOG 5HDJDQ ZDV QHUYRXV +H paused, glanced left, perhaps foreseeing the media embarrassment, Star Wars allusions, and rolling footage of himself in a cowboy hat shooting Phaser guns. My fellow Americans‌

(QOLJKWHQHG FLWL]HQV ZRXOG QHYHU EHOLHYH WKDW $PHULFD XVLQJ VDWHOOLWHV ´FRXOG intercept and destroy strategic ballistic missiles before they reached our own soil.â€? Satellites? In his speech thirty years ago, Reagan kept his Strategic Defense ,QLWLDWLYH YDJXH EHFDXVH QRERG\ WKRXJKW that protecting America from fungal nuFOHDU KDYRF FRXOG UHDOO\ EH DFFRPSOLVKHG with laser beams from space. :HOO 7KH %RHLQJ &RPSDQ\ NLQGD does. So does a bored-looking college VWXGHQW ´, WKLQN LW¡V SUHWW\ UDGLFDOÂľ DQG a woman playing electronic keyboard ( “A w e s o m e â€? ) . Since the press That’s right. QC FRQWDFWV IRU %RHLQJ lasers may, in and Intellectual fact, save the 9HQWXUHV WZR world. c o m p a n i e s EUHDNLQJ EL]DUUH ground with laser technology, offered no comment (“terribly sorryâ€?), I did my own research DQG WRRN WKH Ă€QGLQJV WR 0RWKHU (DUWK¡V Supreme Court: Chatroulette. “HOW DID U KNOW?!â€? asks some good old boy in army fatigues, who shows me his badges, Smith & Wesson, and platinum credit cards after making sure I am not a Russian spy. Unloaded handgun (“Pvt1stclassxDâ€?). %XW OHW¡V VWHS DZD\ IURP WKH KHDY\ artillery, for a second.

Dr. Claire Gmachl, an electrical engiQHHULQJ SURIHVVRU DW 3ULQFHWRQ 8QLYHUVLW\ and winner of countless awards ranging IURP 1$6$ PHGDOV WR 3RSXODU 6FLHQFH¡V ´%ULOOLDQW &ODVV RI Âľ KDV VSHQW KHU FDUHHU H[SORULQJ WKH EHQHĂ€WV RI ´XQREWUXVLYHÂľ ODVHU WHFKQRORJ\ ´:H¡UH ORRNLQJ DW D YHU\ PDWXUH WHFKnology,â€? says Gmachl. Quantum cascade ODVHUV WR ZKLFK VKH KDV PDGH VLJQLĂ€FDQW contributions, use semiconductor layering to capture more accurate readings of JDVHRXV PDWWHU WKDQ HYHU EHIRUH What does that mean? Without a science degree, the mechanics may escape you. Essentially, QC lasers act as higher quality sensors for a staggering range of applications, from security and medical uses to measuring the pollution in clogged urban atmospheres. “For global climate change, we need better models,â€? says Gmachl, whose technology opens QHZ DYHQXHV IRU XQGHUVWDQGLQJ JOREDO warming, ultimately assisting efforts to UHVWRUH WKH FOLPDWH DQG VDYH WKH ZRUOG 7KDW¡V ULJKW 4& ODVHUV PD\ LQ IDFW save the world. 1RZ JLYHQ WKDW WKH 6RYLHWV DUH QR ORQJHU RXU SUREOHP OHW¡V VWHS EHWZHHQ WKH FKHPLFDO YDSRU VHQVRUV DQG ELJ JXQV 6FLHQWLVWV KDYH UHFHQWO\ EHHQ GHYHORSLQJ laser fences to battle Malaria. Remember the laser grid from Resident Evil that detected – and came slicing through – GRGJLQJ ]RPELH FRPPDQGRHV ZDYH E\ FUHDWLYH ZDYH" ,QWHOOHFWXDO 9HQWXUHV GRHV WKHP RQH better. With two fence posts standing across from each other at a maximum distance of thirty meters, any mosquitoes Ă RDWLQJ EHWZHHQ WKHP ZRXOG EH GHWHFWHG and scanned using light signals. Slower, larger, and ready to bite, females would EH FRQĂ€UPHG DV VXFK DQG ]DSSHG ZLWK D second beam.

When asked the best possible way to kill mosquitoes with Malaria, two laughing males suggest changing the climate. Okay, Gandalf; Saruman. A twentysomething female who calls me Mr. Scientist says, “Kill the mosquitoes. Secure the area.� Well, that sounds about right.

$ $Q\ ODVHU EHDP GHVWUR\HG DQ LQ à LJKW ballistic missile, and % 7KH ÀUVW WLPH DQ\ EDOOLVWLF PLVVLOH ZDV HYHU GHVWUR\HG ZLWKLQ ERRVW SKDVH While, in other words, the thing was really heating up.

Surround your African home, crop Ă€HOG RU HYHQ ZKROH YLOODJH ZLWK WKHVH IHQFH SRVWV EXLOW KLJKHU WKDQ WKH DYHUDJH PRVTXLWR Ă LHV ZLWK VHQVRUV WR GLVFULPLnate against objects larger than mosquiWRHV DQG VXGGHQO\ 0DODULD GRHVQ¡W ERWKHU \RX 0HDQZKLOH ,QWHOOHFWXDO 9HQWXUHV¡ prototype was constructed “almost entirely from parts purchased second-hand RQ H%D\ DQG VLPLODU ZHEVLWHV Âľ DFFRUGLQJ WR WKHLU SURMHFW RYHUYLHZ 6XGGHQO\ \RXU laser defense grid sounds humanly possible and economically feasible.

“Bravo,� says a pale man, twirling his ponytail. Accordingly, the Missile Defense $JHQF\ 0'$ JUDQWHG WKUHH %RHLQJ HQgineers the Technology Pioneer Award in 0DUFK ,VUDHO LV DOVR JHWWLQJ LQ RQ WKH IXQ ZRUNLQJ ZLWK %RHLQJ WR GHYHORS WKHLU own Arrow II interceptor plane, which successfully destroyed airborne missiles LQ )HEUXDU\ DQG $SULO :KLOH America quietly headlines the directed energy weapons race, other nations are also harnessing the powers of superhot SKRWRQ EHDPV DQG WKH ZLOGHVW DGYDQFHV LQ ZHDSRQ WHFKQRORJ\ HYHU

“What if the mosquito is on my arm?â€? asks an herbally enhanced Rutgers student. Don’t worry. You may have Malaria already! Otherwise, imagine bean bags bursting against the leather skin of full grown elephants. We would barely notice. How about the future scourge of $PHULFD" %DOOLVWLF QXFOHDU PLVVLOHV RI course. More threatening than mosquiWRHV HVSHFLDOO\ EHFDXVH RXU LQVHFWV GRQ¡W FRQGXFW ELRORJLFDO ZDUIDUH %RHLQJ RI DOO FRPSDQLHV KDV \RX FRYHUHG <RX NQRZ the airplane guys? <HDK WKH\¡YH EHHQ ZRUNLQJ RQ VRPH QHZ PRGHOV ,Q )HEUXDU\ %RHLQJ Ă HZ D PRGLĂ€HG ) WKLQN RI D Ă \LQJ VDZHG RII VKRWJXQ EXW instead of clipping the barrel, you simply attach “the highest energy ODVHU HYHU Ă€UHG IURP DQ DLUFUDIWÂľ RYHU WKH FRDVW RI &DOLIRUQLD DQG shot down a ballistic missile while it was reaching boost phase. This PDUNHG WKH Ă€UVW WLPH WKDW

Quoth a middle-aged Florence man: “Italy.â€? Italy too. “Is a bullshit,â€? claims a chunkster wearing a cartoon Obama shirt. 1RSH LW¡V QRW DQG \RX EHWWHU EHOLHYH LW %HFDXVH ODVHU JXQV DUH QRW SDUDQRLD %HFDXVH UHDO VFLHQWLVWV DUH GHYHORSLQJ ZD\V WR GHVWUR\ HYHU\WKLQJ IURP WKH ODUJest missile to the smallest insect -- with Ă DVKLQJ OLJKWV %HFDXVH DOPRVW HYHU\WKLQJ \RX UHDG DERXW KHUH FDQ EH GLVFRYHUHG

Remember the laser grid from Resident Evil that detected – and came slicing through – dodging zombie commandoes, wave by creative wave? Intellectual Ventures does them one better.

RQ WKH RIĂ€FLDO ,QWHOOHFWXDO 9HQWXUHV DQG %RHLQJ ZHEVLWHV “What?â€? asks an ecstatic young blonde, dancing on the other side of the world. <RX PD\ VKDNH D Ă€VW DW WKH QH[W IULHQG ZKR WHOOV \RX ´5HDJDQ ZDV PHQWDO Âľ <RX PD\ VKRXW ´,W¡V IXFNLQJ UHDO 7KH\¡UH shooting down mosquitoes in laboratories and blowing up fake PLVVLOHV RYHU &DOLIRUQLD <RX¡UH WKH FUD]\ RQH EHYou may shake a fist at the next cause next time an armorfriend who tells you, “Reagan plated truck rolls into the was mental.â€? You may shout, GHVHUW LW¡V JRLQJ WR EH “It’s fucking real! They’re shooting carrying a high-energy ODVHU ULĂ H DQG NLFNLQJ DVV down mosquitoes in laboratories <RX GRQ¡W HYHQ NQRZ and blowing up fake missiles over girlfriend‌â€? California. You’re the crazy one, “Laser guns or not, they will kill the same,â€? writes a sun-deprived youth with curly hair and glasses. We share a silence. “It never ends, does it.â€?

because next time an armor-plated truck rolls into the desert, it’s going to be carrying a high-energy laser rifle and kicking ass. You don’t even know, girlfriend‌�

When she calls you FUD]\ ZKLS RXW WKLV DUWLFOH :KHQ VKH FDOOV PH FUD]\ WDNH RXW \RXU $QGURLG DQG search: “boeing.com/bds/mds/docs/MDS_ overview.pdf.â€? And when she says, “Well, okay,â€? and talks about something else, imagine storm troopers gathering before DQ $PHULFDQ Ă DJ ,PDJLQH PRVTXLWRHV dropping spontaneously to the ground at their feet. Imagine the atmosphere and VRPH JUHDW YRLFH \HOOLQJ ´&OHDU Âľ MXVW EHIRUH D WLGDO ZDYH PRXQWV WLWDQLF EHKLQG the entire scene and crashes, sweeping us LQWR FROOHFWLYH SXQLVKPHQW IRU RXU LJQRrance and refusal to accept change when it stands pleading before a podium. 5RQDOG 5HDJDQ \RX FUD]\ JHQLXV

4 5

Illustrations by Cole Dennis

The Good Old Days by Molly LaFlesh (The marriage, it crumbled into dust.) The trouble started ZKHQ LW EHFDPH FOHDU \RX FRXOGQ·W FOLPD[ ‘til I said your name just right, thirty-six times in a row. ,I , PHVVHG XS \RX·G PDNH PH VWDUW RYHU :KHQ ZH ZHUH ÀQDOO\ GRQH (sometimes this took hours, as you remember), ,·G FRXQW WR ÀYH KXQGUHG LQ FOLSSHG WRQJXH wriggle out from beneath those sheets— VWDUFKHG GDLO\ ³DQG WDNH WKH IRXUWHHQ VWHSV to the bleached bathroom. ,·G ZDVK P\ KDQGV SHH wash my hands, shower, wash my hands: RQ D JRRG GD\ WKH\ ZRXOGQ·W EOHHG WKRXJK LI WKH\ GLG \RX·G NLVV WKHP³ well, blow them a kiss anyway. <RX FRXOGQ·W EH WRR FDUHIXO We were all right angles in those days, KRXUV WR OHDYH WKH KRXVH , VFUXEEHG WKH SODWHV EHIRUH ORDGLQJ WKH GLVKZDVKHU you made sure the coffee table books sat parallel, straightened hanging pictures you had painted (back when you had the time.) :H OLYHG OLIH E\ WKH WRRWKEUXVK VSLW GXVW GRZQ WKH GUDLQ we scrubbed our money with hot bubbles, DQG QHYHU HYHU DWH WDNH RXW I stopped writing when you stopped reading, DQG \RX³,·G OLNH WR WKLQN LW ZDV \RX ZKR VWRSSHG ORYLQJ PH ÀUVW but I was so caught up in the perfection WKDW , GLGQ·W QRWLFH RXU LPSHUIHFWLRQV ‘til it was too late. My lawyer, whose tie was always crooked, VDLG KH·G QHYHU VHHQ VXFK D QHDW GLYRUFH

Notes on a Break-up (Cinematic Nonsense Version) by Brendan Mattox In the moment I am outside, looking in, VHHLQJ \RXU IDFH RYHU P\ VKRXOGHU VLWXDWHG DW DQ DQJOH ZKLFK UHYHDOV QRWKLQJ PRUH than cinematic nonsense. Zoom out to see us both framed in the lens from across the lobby as we stand there talking about the past. 6QDS EDFN LQWR Ă€UVW SHUVRQ YLHZ \RXU FKDSSHG OLSV PRXWKLQJ “you are so unprofessionalâ€? DWWHPSWLQJ WR WHOO PH KRZ , VKRXOG YLHZ WKH VKLW \RX SXW PH WKURXJK Zoom out to other side of the lobby as you walk towards the camera in a huff. )UDPH UHPDLQV VWDWLF RQ P\ Ă€JXUH DV 0HUFHGHV FURVVHV WR WHOO PH HYHU\WKLQJ LV JRLQJ WR EH RND\

Diffuse in the Crumbles by Ray Succre &RPH KRPH RU HOVH WRPRUURZ , ZDNH ZLWK FHUWDLQ LQĂ XHQFHV 'RXEW DQG YLOODJH ZRUU\ P\ EDUN VORXJKLQJ RII WR FUHDWH an arcade of exposure— , DP GRXEOH IROGHG ZLWK RDWV RI VXVSLFLRQ WKH\ H[SDQG without happiness, trust little, make the salt in my blood ORZ URRVW DQG RYHUWDNH PH 7LPH KDV FKDQJHG PH <RX %XW FRPH KRPH The anger is fraught with you. , GRQ¡W FDUH ZKR VKH LV EXW ZKDW WUDYHOHU DQWL ZLIH SURSRUWLRQHG EXUV DQG WKLVWOHV Come home. Come home from the animal bistro. Just come home. She is pillowed. Come ZRQ¡W ORYH home, but I am un-holstered... billow me from the panic rafter smoke, Ă€QG PH VRRQHU WKDQ QHYHU home or else tomorrow uninhabited, gone while inside staying. Come home, just come home DQG VQXII P\ HYHU\ DZIXO IHDU ZLWK \RXU VDGO\ VKDNLQJ KHDG

6LGH YLHZ RI PH IDOOLQJ RQWR WKH PHWDO EHQFK wearied by time and thoughts of you. 5HDG LQ WKH OLQHV WHHQDJHU¡V DQJVW WKDW ,¡G EHHQ ULG RI IRU GD\V until I saw your stupid face. %XU\ P\ IDFH LQ P\ KDQGV DV WKH FDPHUD UROOV IURP Ă€UVW SHUVRQ 329 , ZDQW WR OLYH IRUHYHU LQ D PRPHQW ZKHUH , FDQ EH XSVHW DJDLQ %XW DUWLVWLFDOO\ ZKDW GRHV WKDW IUDPH RI UHIHUHQFH mean. Wide shot of me and you sitting across from each other juxtaposed with an earlier scene where we lay in bed together. A soundtrack of terse words as the camera pans our length DQG WKH VWDUWOLQJ UHDOL]DWLRQ WKDW \RX¡UH QRW ZKR \RX¡UH VXSSRVHG WR EH hits me all at once. The door slamming behind me as you shout that you left me, DQG VXGGHQO\ HYHU\WKLQJ LVQ¡W VR DZIXO DQ\PRUH Music swells. Fade to black. Roll credits.

4 7

Must Come Down Words by Lindsay Clark

W

HQG\ FRXOGQ¡W KHDU WKH WRUQDGR FRPLQJ 7KH\ VD\ WKDW NHSW KHU IURP being scared. They tell me the force of the wind probably broke her VSLQH 7KH\ WHOO PH D VWRUP WKDW VL]H FRXOG OLIW IDU KHDYLHU REMHFWV WKDQ D Ă€IWK JUDGHU DQG OLNHO\ WKH EOXQW LPSDFW RI D Ă \LQJ WUDFWRU ZKHHO RU PD\EH a wood plank from her own fort cracked her skull and stopped her breath. Instantly, of course. They say these things to comfort me. , GRQ¡W QHHG WKHLU FRPIRUW DQ\PRUH 1R RQH NQRZV ZK\ WKH\ KDYHQ¡W IRXQG :HQG\¡V ERG\ DQG O\LQJ LQ EHG , VPLOH WR P\VHOI EHFDXVH LW¡V VR VLPSOH %HIRUH , GLVFRYHUHG :HQG\¡V VHFUHW HYHU\ GD\ ZDV D EDG GD\ 6RPHWLPHV ,¡G LPDJLQH :HQG\ LQ KHU IRUW VFULEEOLQJ VLOHQW ZRUGV LQ D MRXUQDO DQG ,¡G NQRZ WKH VSLUDO VFUHDPLQJ DFURVV WKH SODLQ ZDV WR KHU QR GLIIHUHQW WKDQ D ZHDN $XJXVW EUHH]H WKURXJK WKH JUDVV DW OHDVW XQWLO LW ZDV WRR ODWH $QG ,¡G NQRZ , FRXOGQ¡W VDYH KHU 7RQLJKW , FDQ¡W VOHHS +HUH LQ P\ PRWKHU¡V ROG KRXVH , XVXDOO\ VOHHS ZLWK WKH OLJKWV RQ ,Q WKH KHDUW RI QLJKW HDVWHUQ 1HEUDVND LV QR GLIIHUHQW WKDQ RXWHU VSDFH , QHYHU IRUJRW KRZ GDUN LW JHWV KHUH HYHQ DIWHU OLYLQJ LQ 1HZ <RUN IRU HOHYHQ \HDUV 0\ PRWKHU KDG NLFNHG PH RXW RI WKH KRXVH ZKHQ , ZDV SUHJQDQW ZLWK :HQG\ 1RW WKDW WKH IHDU GLGQ¡W VRRQ DGDSW WR WKH VKDOORZ %URRNO\Q GLPQHVV RI P\ DSDUWPHQW $QG ZKHQ :HQG\ ZDV OLWWOH ,¡G OLVWHQ IRU KHU IRRWVWHSV LQ WKH KDOO DQG ZKHQ VKH FUDZOHG XQGHU WKH FRYHUV EHVLGH PH ,¡G EUHDWKH LQ UHOLHI EXW RI FRXUVH VKH GLGQ¡W NQRZ ,Q WKH GDUN , FRXOGQ¡W VHH KHU VLJQLQJ DQG LI VKH ZDQWHG WR VLJQ PH KHU QLJKWPDUHV ,¡G HYHQ KDYH DQ H[FXVH WR turn on the bedside lamp. , OLH RQ P\ EDFN LQ P\ PRWKHU¡V ROG EHG VWDULQJ DW WKH FHLOLQJ DQG ZDQWLQJ VR EDGO\ WR VHH :HQG\¡V VPDOO WKLQ KDQGV PRYLQJ VR IDVW WKH\ VWLU WKH DLU DURXQG KHU HYHQ LI VKH¡V VLJQLQJ PH D QLJKWPDUH (YHQ LI LW¡V LQ WKH GDUN Soon, I tell myself. Soon. ,Q -XQH , FDPH EDFN WR 1HEUDVND ORRNLQJ IRU P\ GHDG PRWKHU EXW QRZ , ZRQ¡W OHDYH XQWLO , Ă€QG :HQG\ :KR¡G KDYH JXHVVHG WKDW ZKHQ P\ PRWKHU¡V OLYHU JDYH RXW DQG VKH NHHOHG RYHU VKH¡G JLYH WKH SURSHUW\ WR PH 6KH¡G ERRWHG PH ZKHQ , ZDV \RXQJ DQG scared and now her house was mine. It was like she was shrugging and saying, Here, you take this. I hated how much I wanted it and sneered at the ripped open mortgage ELOOV ODLG QH[W WR WKH PLFURZDYH $IWHU WKH IXQHUDO , GHFLGHG :HQG\ DQG , ZRXOG VWD\ IRU WKH VXPPHU DQG WKHQ ,¡G VHOO , ZRUNHG PRVWO\ IURP P\ FRPSXWHU DQ\ZD\ DQG P\ ERVV ZDV JRRG WR PH , NQHZ KH¡G WU\ WR XQGHUVWDQG 0RVWO\ , ZDV QHUYRXV DERXW FRQYLQFLQJ Wendy. —Just for the summer, Wendy, I signed. My sign language is still clumsy. My accent, :HQG\ FDOOHG LW Âł:H¡OO EH EDFN LQ 6HSWHPEHU ,W¡OO EH OLNH D YDFDWLRQ Âł$ YDFDWLRQ LQ D GHDG SHUVRQ¡V KRXVH" :HQG\ HPSKDVL]HG dead, left palm up, right SDOP GRZQ WKHQ Ă LSSLQJ RYHU OLNH D GLVJUXQWOHG FRUSVH LQ D JUDYH , VLJQHG Âł'RQ¡W EH GUDPDWLF Âł'RQ¡W WHOO PH ZKDW WR GR Âł<RX ZRQ¡W EH VLWWLQJ ZLWK KHU VNHOHWRQ RQ WKH FRXFK ,W¡OO EH JRRG IRU us. Different. —I bet there are no deaf people here. They tell me a storm Âł<RX¡OO KDYH PH that size could lift Wendy studied me. —Why? far heavier objects —Why what? —Why do you want to stay? than a fifth grader.

, GLGQ¡W NQRZ KRZ WR DQVZHU RU H[SODLQ VR , VLJQHG Âł0\ PRWKHU¡V JRQH QRZ Wendy. I just want to say goodbye. :HQG\ VKRRN KHU KHDG Âł<RX GRQ¡W KDYH WR OLH WR PH —What? Âł<RX WKLQN LI \RX VWD\ VKH¡OO FRPH EDFN :HQG\ 6RPHWLPHV VKH ZDV VXFK D SUHFRFLRXV EXQGOH RI FODLUYR\DQFH , ZDQWHG WR shake it out of her, shut a door in her face, something. She was too smart for me. Too EHDXWLIXO WRR , NQHZ LW ZRXOG EH WKDW ZD\ DQG , ZDV DIUDLG DW Ă€UVW , IHOW WKH EHDXW\ EORRPLQJ OLNH IRUHLJQ PDWWHU LQVLGH PH DQG , IHOW , FRXOGQ¡W KROG LW 6KH ZRXOG EH WRR beautiful for me, the way her father was. And I was right. :H VWD\HG LQ 1HEUDVND DQG :HQG\ JRW DORQJ EHWWHU WKDQ , GLG ,¡G VWDQG PRWLRQOHVV in the weathered kitchen and wonder what the hell I was doing in this tomb. I opened DOO WKH ZLQGRZV WKH Ă€UVW GD\ EXW LW ZRXOG WDNH FHQWXULHV IRU WKH VWDOH UHHN RI ERR]H WR IDGH :HQG\ GLGQ¡W VWD\ LQVLGH 6KH ZDQGHUHG WKH SURSHUW\¡V VL[ KXQGUHG DFUHV DQG WKDW¡V when she built her fort. If she tried she could do anything and she built it sturdy against WKH HOHPHQWV 7KDW¡V ZKHUH VKH ZDV WKDW KRW $XJXVW GD\ ZKHQ WKH WRUQDGR FDPH , ZDV JURFHU\ VKRSSLQJ , NQRZ WKDW¡V ZKHUH , ZDV EXW VRPHWLPHV , FDQ¡W UHFRQFLOH LW RXU UHVSHFWLYH SRVLWLRQLQJ LQ VSDFH DW WKDW PRPHQW ,W¡V OLNH WKH VXPPHU EHIRUH LQ %URRNO\Q ZKHQ :HQG\ IHOO IURP D WUHH DQG EURNH KHU DUP LQ WZR SODFHV 6KH ZDV rolling in pain on the sidewalk, and I sat inside on the couch, unaware. When I thought DERXW LW LQ WKH (5 LW GLGQ¡W VHHP WR PDNH VHQVH 7KH\ SXW D FDVW RQ :HQG\¡V DUP DQG VKH FRXOGQ¡W VLJQ IRU ZHHNV 6KH KDG WR ZULWH HYHU\WKLQJ GRZQ ,¡G LPDJLQH P\ OLSV wired shut. I wish I could sleep. The light is no comfort tonight. I lie still because I will not toss DQG WXUQ EHFDXVH VKH WRVVHG DQG WXUQHG LQ WKH YLFLRXV ZLQG WKDW VSOD\HG KHU DFURVV WKH VN\ $OO RI D VXGGHQ P\ KHDUW WZLVWV LWVHOI WLJKW DQG LW¡V KDUG WR EUHDWKH 1R RQH VKRXOG toss and turn and the fucking world should stop spinning. It should fall. It should fall LQWR WKH DE\VV DQG FUDVK VRPHZKHUH $QG , NQRZ WKDW HYHQ WKRXJK :HQG\ GLGQ¡W KHDU WKH WRUQDGR VKH IHOW WKH DLU SUHVVXUH GURS IHOW WKH JURXQG UXPEOH 1RWLFHG WKH ZDOOV RI KHU OLWWOH IRUW WUHPEOLQJ :HQW RXWVLGH DQG VDZ LW 6KH PXVW KDYH UHDOL]HG WKHUH ZDV nowhere to go. 6WRS , SXVK WKHVH WKRXJKWV DZD\ 6RPHWLPHV , VWLOO JHW VFDUHG , IRUJHW , GRQ¡W KDYH WR WKLQN RI LW WKLV ZD\ DQ\PRUH DQG WKHQ :HQG\¡V VQDSSLQJ VSLQH VWLOO UHYHUEHUDWHV DQG GHDIHQV %XW QRZ , UHPHPEHU HYHU\WKLQJ ZLOO EH RND\ DQG , EUHDWKH , WKLQN DERXW Ă€QGLQJ :HQG\ , WKLQN DERXW LW XQWLO PRUQLQJ FRPHV DQG WKHQ , JHW XS DQG WXUQ WKH lights off. -DQLV FRPHV E\ DURXQG HOHYHQ WR FKHFN RQ PH 6KH VD\V VKH FDPH WR VD\ KHOOR EXW ZH ERWK NQRZ -DQLV LV P\ PRWKHU¡V FORVHVW QHLJKERU EXW VWLOO D Ă€YH PLQXWH GULYH DZD\ 6KH LV ROG OLNH P\ PRWKHU PLJKW KDYH EHHQ DQG ZRUULHV OLNH P\ PRWKHU GLGQ¡W VR , WU\ WR EH SROLWH 6KH VOHHSV RYHU WZLFH D ZHHN -DQLV ZDV UHVWLQJ KHU H\HV LQ WKH XSVWDLUV EHGURRP ZKHQ , GLVFRYHUHG :HQG\¡V VHFUHW , VWD\HG TXLHW VR , ZRXOGQ¡W ZDNH WKH ZRPDQ 6WLOO VKH PDNHV PH QHUYRXV QRZ 6KH DVNV LI ,¡YH HDWHQ DQG , VKDNH P\ KHDG 6KH VD\V VKH¡OO make me breakfast. :KLOH VKH¡V FRRNLQJ , VLW LQ IURQW RI WKH 79 LWV YROXPH WXUQHG GRZQ 6LQFH :HQG\ has been in my life, the world has become too loud. This is where I was when the VHFUHW UHYHDOHG LWVHOI WKUHH ZHHNV DJR QRZ 7KDW GD\ -DQLV KDG EHHQ KHUH DOO GD\ DQG

Wendy emphasized dead, left palm up, right palm down, then flipping over like a disgruntled corpse in a grave.

WKDW QLJKW VKH¡G VWD\HG XS ZLWK PH DV ODWH DV VKH FRXOG 6KH ZDV GULYLQJ PH PDG EXW , ZDV SROLWH 6KH¡G Ă€QDOO\ JRQH XSVWDLUV 6KH¡G WXUQHG WKH OLJKWV RII ,W ZDV DOPRVW WZR $0 DQG , ZDV JRLQJ WR ZDWFK WKH UHSOD\ RI D 1DWLRQDO *HRJUDSKLF SURJUDP ,¡G ZDQWHG WR ZDWFK HDUOLHU EXW LW ZDV DERXW WRUQDGRHV DQG -DQLV ZRUULHV $OO ,¡G FDUHG DERXW LQ WKH ZHHNV VLQFH :HQG\ YDQLVKHG ZDV WRUQDGRHV 7KH Ă LFNHULQJ 79 ZDV QRW TXLWH HQRXJK WR LOOXPLQDWH WKH URRP DQG LW ZDV KDUG EXW , LJQRUHG WKH GDUN FRUQHUV 1R YROXPH ,W ZDV WZR R¡FORFN 7KH Ă€UVW WRUQDGR WKDW URVH RQWR WKH VFUHHQ ULSSHG WKH H\HEDOOV RXW RI P\ VNXOO showed me the twisting, heart-stopping truth. Pain exploded in my head. The glow RI WKH 79 PRUSKHG LQWR D IUHH]LQJ EOD]H XQEHDUDEOH DQG RPQLSUHVHQW DQG XQOLNH DQ\WKLQJ RQ WKLV HDUWK $ VXSHUQDWXUDO VKLYHU VKRW GRZQ P\ VSLQH $OO WKH ZKLOH P\ H\HV VSXQ WKURXJK VWRUP DIWHU VWRUP VHHLQJ FOHDUO\ 6HHLQJ HYHU\WKLQJ , ZDV LQ %URRNO\Q again, scrambling eggs for Wendy, who was sitting on a stool at the kitchen counter. She DVNHG PH ZK\ , ZDV VR \RXQJ Âł,¡P QRW WKDW \RXQJ , VLJQHG Âł7RP¡V PRP LV IRUW\ VL[ , IHLJQHG D ORRN RI KRUURU DQG VLJQHG Âł<RX NQRZ , GRQ¡W OLNH ZKHQ \RX WHOO PH scary stories. Wendy smiled and she signed that I would be forty-six one day and I signed that she would be forty-six one day. ,¡G EHHQ QHJOHFWLQJ WKH HJJV DQG QRZ WKH\ ZRXOGQ¡W EH Ă XII\ HQRXJK , WROG P\VHOI DV DOZD\V WKDW QH[W WLPH WKH\ ZRXOG EH Ă XII\ HQRXJK :HQG\ VDW PRWLRQOHVV IRU D OLWWOH while. Then she tapped the counter to get my attention. —At school Mrs. Singer signed us a story about people who started out really high LQ WKH DLU ZKHQ WKH\ ZHUH EDELHV DQG ZKHQ WKH\ JRW ROGHU WKH\ IHOO 7KHLU ZKROH OLYHV they were falling down. I signed, —And when they hit the ground? —They died, I guess. Âł6R KRZ¡G WKH\ JHW XS WKHUH LQ WKH Ă€UVW SODFH" :HUH WKH\ ERUQ XS WKHUH" Âł, GRQ¡W NQRZ 0\ WHDFKHU GLGQ¡W H[SODLQ Âł6RXQGV OLNH D SORW KROH WR PH , VLJQHG RU WULHG WR EXW , GLGQ¡W NQRZ WKH VLJQ IRU plot so it came out story hole instead. —What?

4 9

Âł1HYHU PLQG , ZDV VFUDSLQJ VDG Ă DW HJJV RQWR WZR SODWHV ZKHQ :HQG\ WDSSHG WKH FRXQWHU DJDLQ 6KH VLJQHG Âł6RPHRQH WKUHZ WKHP 7KDW¡V KRZ WKH\ JRW XS WKHUH Âł<LNHV 6FDU\ :HQG\ JULQQHG Âł6RPHRQH WKUHZ WKHP DQG VLJQHG :KDW JRHV XS 7KH 79 VSDW PH EDFN RQWR WKH OLYLQJ URRP FRXFK EXW , KDG WKH VHFUHW , UHDOL]HG HYHU\RQH ZDV ZURQJ DERXW WRUQDGRHV 7KH H[SHUWV 7KH\ NQHZ QRWKLQJ :HQG\ NQHZ 6KH Ă€JXUHG RXW KRZ WR EHDW WKH V\VWHP 6KH ZDV DOZD\V WRR VPDUW IRU PH 6KH ORRNHG around and thought, Fuck you, I’m not falling anymore. I laughed out loud thinking about it. She found the loop hole, the worm hole, the plot hole. Story hole. She went up 1R ZRQGHU WKH\ KDGQ¡W IRXQG KHU ERG\ QR ZRQGHU WKH\¡G VHDUFKHG HYHU\ZKHUH D WKRXVDQG WLPHV DQG IRXQG QRWKLQJ 6KH ZDVQ¡W KHUH 6KH WRRN D VHFUHW SRUWDO IDU DZD\ XSZDUG Tornado. I signed the word, my thumbs touching to form a T, the left hand on the ERWWRP LQ WKH VKDSH RI D JXQ WKH ULJKW LQGH[ Ă€QJHU EREELQJ XS DQG down rapidly, the whole structure circling once through the air. For the Ă€UVW WLPH , VDZ WKDW PRWLRQ IRU ZKDW LW ZDV D SDVVDJH ,W ZDV VR VLPSOH Wendy was in a better world, waiting for me to follow. I just had to wait —Sounds like a plot hole IRU P\ RSSRUWXQLW\ IRU P\ SDVVDJH 2QO\ , FRXOG Ă€QG KHU QRZ to me, I signed, or tried -DQLV KDV Ă€QLVKHG EUHDNIDVW VHWV WKH SODWH LQ IURQW RI PH RQ WKH to, but I didn’t know the coffee table. She says, Would you mind terribly if I went home for a sign for plot so it came little while, dear? out story hole instead. I smile and say, Of course not, Janis. Thank you. /DWHU ,¡P RQOLQH FKHFNLQJ ZHDWKHU V\VWHPV DFURVV WKH 0LGZHVW VHDUFKLQJ IRU P\ VWRUP , IDOO LQWR P\ QHZHVW GD\GUHDP ZKHUH ,¡P LQ P\ PRWKHU¡V :UDQJOHU Ă RRULQJ WKH JDV SXVKLQJ IHYHULVKO\ LQWR D ZLOG ZLQG WRZDUGV WKLV GDUN DQG GLVWDQW GHPRQ KRYHULQJ MXVW DERYH WKH SODLQ , NQRZ LW KXQWV PH DV , KXQW LW Meanwhile an exodus rushes past me in the opposite direction. Glimpses of stricken IDFHV VR ZRHIXOO\ PLVLQIRUPHG , GRQ¡W VORZ GRZQ 7KH KRZO EHFNRQV ,¡P UHOLVKLQJ WKLV QHZ LGHQWLW\ DV D VWRUP FKDVHU ZKHQ WKH SKRQH ULQJV I answer. Hello? 7KH YRLFH VD\V +HOHQ" <HV This is Hank Reynolds. From the station. Remember me? 0\ VWRPDFK IHHOV VWUDQJH , VD\ <HV \HV RI FRXUVH , GR +DQN VD\V +HOHQ ,¡YH JRW VRPHWKLQJ WR GLVFXVV ZLWK \RX ,V LW DOO ULJKW LI , FRPH RQ RYHU" 0\ WKURDW LV D OLWWOH GU\ , DVN <RX FDQ¡W WHOO PH QRZ" ,¡G UDWKHU GLVFXVV LW LQ SHUVRQ +DQN VD\V I can come there. 7KDW¡V DOO ULJKW +HOHQ ,¡P DOUHDG\ RQ P\ ZD\ Hank is our local sheriff. I remember him from that day at the grocery store. I was LQ WKH IUR]HQ IRRG DLVOH ZKHQ Ă€UVW -DQLV FDOOHG $ WRUQDGR VKH VDLG RQ WKH QHZV , VWDUWHG FU\LQJ , WH[WHG :HQG\ IURP WKH SDUNLQJ ORW EXW VKH GLGQ¡W DQVZHU 7KH SKRQH was still in my hand when Hank called. He told me the house was undamaged but SLHFHV RI :HQG\¡V IRUW ZHUH VFDWWHUHG OLNH EUHDGFUXPEV WKURXJK WKH WRUQDGR¡V WUDLO , was an hour away from home. Hank had also called to tell me my mother was dead.

,¡P ZDLWLQJ WR KHDU +DQN¡V FDU LQ WKH GULYHZD\ WKLQNLQJ DERXW ODVW ZLQWHU ZKHQ P\ PRWKHU FDPH WR %URRNO\Q ,¡G JDWKHUHG WKH FRXUDJH WR LQYLWH KHU IRU &KULVWPDV 6KH VDLG \HV DQG , ZRQGHUHG LI VKH NQHZ , ZDQWHG KHU WR VHH ZKDW VKH¡G PLVVHG ,W ZDV WKH ODVW WLPH , VDZ KHU DQG LW ZDV WKH RQO\ WLPH VKH HYHU PHW :HQG\ %XW PD\EH WKDW¡V DQ RYHUVWDWHPHQW )URP KHU Ă€UVW VWHS LQVLGH P\ PRWKHU VWXGLHG WKH ZDOOV WKH NLWFKHQ WLOH WKH XSKROVWHU\ DQ\WKLQJ EXW :HQG\ ZKR GLGQ¡W EOLQN DQ H\H :H VDW LQ WKH OLYLQJ URRP P\ PRWKHU DQG , RQ WKH FRXFK DQG :HQG\ RQ WKH Ă RRU IDFLQJ XV , SXW WKH 79 RQ IRU her but she just kept looking at my mother. My mother turned to me and asked, So they KDYH D UHDO VFKRRO IRU KHU WR JR WR KHUH" , VWDUHG 0\ YRLFH VKRRN DQG , VDLG 'RQ¡W WDON DERXW KHU OLNH VKH¡V QRW LQ WKH URRP , GLGQ¡W WUDQVODWH WKLV IRU :HQG\ :HQG\ WXUQHG DZD\ DQG ZH DOO VWDUHG DW WKH 79 , WXUQHG WKH YROXPH XS DQG , ZLVK , KDGQ¡W $IWHU D FRXSOH KRXUV P\ PRWKHU H[FXVHG KHUVHOI DQG , KHDUG WKH IURQW door open and close. I locked it behind her and that night she came back loaded and SRXQGHG DQG SRXQGHG , ZDONHG WR WKH GRRU DQG VDLG *R KRPH 2YHU DQG RYHU *R KRPH :KHQ , WXUQHG :HQG\ ZDV EHKLQG PH 6KH VLJQHG Âł3HRSOH WKLQN ,¡P VWXSLG Âł7KDW¡V QRW WUXH Âł<HV LW LV Âł:HOO LI LW LV VR ZKDW" 6FUHZ WKHP <RX¡UH QRW :H VWRRG VWLOO DQG WKHQ VKH VLJQHG Âł:H FDQ¡W EH WRJHWKHU IRUHYHU \RX NQRZ —What are you talking about? Âł:H¡UH WRR GLIIHUHQW :H¡UH LQ GLIIHUHQW ZRUOGV World ERWK VPDOO KDQGV KRUL]RQWDO ZLWK WKUHH Ă€QJHUV H[WHQGHG WKH ULJKW FLUFOLQJ WKH OHIW RQFH EHIRUH ODQGLQJ DWRS LW OLNH quiet doom. , VLJQHG Âł:H¡UH GLIIHUHQW %XW \RX¡OO DOZD\V EH LQ P\ ZRUOG :HQG\ ZDV FU\LQJ D OLWWOH 6KH VLJQHG Âł<RX¡UH P\ IDYRULWH KHDULQJ SHUVRQ Âł<RX¡UH P\ IDYRULWH SHUVRQ Âł, NQRZ <RX¡UH P\ IDYRULWH SHUVRQ WRR All the while my mother wailed and pounded at the door behind me. 1RZ WKHUH¡V D NQRFN DW P\ PRWKHU¡V GRRU DQG LW¡V +DQN , OHW KLP LQ DQG DVN LI KH ZDQWV VRPH WHD 7KRXJK WUXWKIXOO\ , GRQ¡W NQRZ LI , KDYH DQ\ 1R WKDQN \RX +DQN VD\V DQG KH¡V QXGJLQJ PH WRZDUGV WKH FRXFK +H¡V VLWWLQJ GRZQ +H¡V SXOOLQJ P\ KDQG JHQWO\ DQG ,¡P VLWWLQJ GRZQ QH[W WR KLP He says, Helen, we found something. I say, Excuse me? +DQN OHWV JR RI P\ KDQG +H VD\V :H IRXQG D ERQH ,W¡V DQ DUP ERQH WKH KXPHUXV ,W¡V WKH RQH WKDW JRHV IURP VKRXOGHU WR HOERZ Okay, I say. 7KH RQH ZH IRXQG LV VPDOO 1RW GHYHORSHG +DQN SDXVHV +H VD\V +HOHQ LW PDWFKHV WKH ; UD\V ZH KDYH IURP :HQG\¡V PHGLFDO UHFRUGV , WLOW P\ KHDG ,¡P VRUU\ , GRQ¡W XQGHUVWDQG , VD\ ,W¡V :HQG\¡V KXPHUXV +HOHQ 0\ KHDG LV IX]]\ Hank scratches his temple. He says, We, ah. Found it quite some distance away. Maybe my face begs an explanation because after a second he says, It was a shot in WKH GDUN UHDOO\ :H KDGQ¡W EHHQ ORRNLQJ WKDW IDU RXW

1RZ , NQRZ ZKDW ,¡P VD\LQJ DQG , VD\ ,W ZDV D WRUQDGR +DQN +H QRGV <HV KH VD\V , VKRXOG VWRS EXW , FDQ¡W , VD\ ,W ZDV D WRUQDGR <RX¡UH WHOOLQJ PH \RX IRXQG :HQG\¡V Hank shifts but does not look away. , GRQ¡W NQRZ ZK\ , GR LW ZK\ , FDQ¡W VWRS 0D\EH EHFDXVH +DQN¡V H\HV WHOO PH KH NQRZV ZKDW¡V FRPLQJ , VD\ 7KHUH¡V VRPHWKLQJ \RX¡UH QRW WHOOLQJ PH <HV Tell me. Helen. Hank. :H VWDUH DW HDFK RWKHU -XVW IRU D PRPHQW DQG WKHQ KH VD\V 7KH ERQH LW¡V QRW dry all the way and well it. The bone. Shows. Some signs of. Chewing. Probably coyote. , VKDNH P\ KHDG , VD\ 1R 7KDW¡V QRW Hank says, Helen. He reaches for my hand again but changes his mind. He says VRIWO\ :H IRXQG KHU <RX FDQ EXU\ KHU QRZ +HOHQ <RX FDQ Ă€QG SHDFH ,¡P QRW VXUH ZKDW KDSSHQV QH[W DQG WKDW¡V WKH WUXWK , NQRZ ,¡P FU\LQJ , WKLQN PD\EH ,¡P OLNH D GLYHU LQ D ZHWVXLW DQG WKH VDOW\ ZDWHU DURXQG PH FDQ¡W WRXFK PH /LNH WKRVH XQGHUZDWHU GUHDPV ZKHUH QR RQH IHHOV RU KHDUV 7KH VLOHQFH LV WKLFN DQG KHDY\ RQ P\ DUPV HQRXJK WKDW , FDQ¡W OLIW WKHP WR VLJQ DQG VLJQ ODQJXDJH LV WKH RQO\ ODQJXDJH WKDW HYHU PDWWHUHG WR PH , MXVW QHHG WR H[SODLQ WR +DQN WKDW KH¡V JRW WR EH ZURQJ +H QHHGV WR XQGHUVWDQG DQG I just want to break through this fog so I can claw his face pull his hair out in chunks UHDFK IRU KLV QHFN WHOO KLP VKXW XS DERXW KHU KXPHUXV , ORYH KHU KXPHUXV , ZDQW WR VFUHDP VKH ZDV VXSSRVHG WR EH VDIH DQG VKH ZDVQ¡W VXSSRVHG WR IDOO DQG , EURXJKW KHU KHUH , EURXJKW KHU GRQ¡W \RX VHH" , OHIW KHU DQG , VZRUH ,¡G QHYHU EH P\ PRWKHU DQG , ORYH KHU , ORYH KHU , ORYH KHU FROG GHDG UHPDLQV Dead KDQGV Ă LSSLQJ RYHU DQG RYHU 7KH QH[W GD\ -DQLV SXWV PH DQG :HQG\¡V KXPHUXV RQ D Ă LJKW WR 1HZ <RUN 6KH WKLQNV VKH¡V UHWXUQLQJ PH WR FRPIRUWLQJ DUPV , DJUHH DQG OHW KHU PDNH WKH DUUDQJHPHQWV 6KH KLGHV :HQG\¡V KXPHUXV LQ P\ FKHFNHG OXJJDJH VR , ZRQ¡W KDYH WR GHFODUH LW 6KH VD\V , QHHG WR EXU\ :HQG\ LQ KHU KRPH DQG , VD\ LW¡V QRW :HQG\ LW¡V D IXFNLQJ ERQH 6KH VD\V , QHHG WKLV FKDQJH RI VHWWLQJ ULJKW QRZ DQG LW ZLOO EH JRRG IRU PH ,¡OO VHH , WKLQN ZKDW -DQLV PHDQV LV WKDW LQ %URRNO\Q WKHUH DUH QR FR\RWHV DQG QR RQH UHPHPEHUV when the last tornado was. 2Q WKH SODQH , GRQ¡W NQRZ ZKDW WR GR ZLWK P\ KDQGV $OO , FDQ WKLQN LV WKDW VRPHGD\ , ZDV JRLQJ WR WHOO KHU , ZRXOG¡YH WROG :HQG\ WKH ZD\ LW ZDV DQG OHW KHU PDNH XS KHU RZQ PLQG DERXW LW %XW VKH DOZD\V GLG DQ\ZD\ DERXW HYHU\WKLQJ , ZRXOG¡YH VWDUWHG IURP WKH EHJLQQLQJ DQG WROG KHU KRZ VWLĂ LQJ KRW LW ZDV WKDW VXPPHU EXW Ă€UVW ,¡G KDYH WR OHDUQ WKH VLJQ IRU VWLĂ LQJ. It was so damn hot and we were eighteen, my friends and I, and one day Sammy and A.J. and I were smashed by four R¡FORFN DQG WKDW PDGH XV IRUJHW DERXW WKH KHDW D OLWWOH :H JRW LQWR 6DPP\¡V SLFN XS DQG WRUH UXWV WKURXJK P\ PRWKHU¡V SURSHUW\ $W RQH SRLQW , VZRUH DOO WKUHH RI XV ZHUH VFUHDPLQJ DW WKH EOLVWHULQJ VXQ IURP WKH EDFN RI WUXFN ZKLOH LW GURYH LWVHOI QRW D VRXO at the wheel. We ended up passed out by the road at the edge of the property. I woke up to someone nudging my leg and I groaned. I was still piss drunk but I could see that the

VSLQQLQJ YLVLWRU VWDQGLQJ RYHU PH ZDV ORQJ KDLUHG DQG ORYHO\ +H VDLG <RXU OHJ ZDV LQ the right lane. , VDW XS DQG VDZ D 9RONVZDJHQ EXV VWRSSHG LQ WKH URDG $WRS LW DQG LQVLGH LW DQG DURXQG LW XQVKDYHQ FUHDWXUHV RI WKH ZLQG SDVVHG MRLQWV LQ SHDFHIXO VLOHQFH , ORRNHG EDFN WR WKH YLVLWRU ZKR¡G ZRNHQ PH DQG VDLG <RX NQRZ LW¡V ULJKW" It was still an hour or so before dark and I shook Sammy and A.J. awake. They ZHUH VWLOO GUXQN WRR 7KH YLVLWRU DVNHG XV LI ZH¡G HYHU VHHQ WKH VXQVHW on a trip. We shook our heads and WKH FUHDWXUHV JULQQHG DQG WKH YLVLWRU They plummet, spiraling with said, Just wait. snouts pointed down. The :H GURSSHG WKHLU DFLG DQG , GRQ¡W scent of the earth grows ever remember the sunset so much as stronger. They hurry. how high the sky seemed. I dragged my eyes from face to face and they VFDUHG PH 7KH FUHDVHV LQ $ - ¡V VPLOH and the shadows in his eye sockets made my heart pound and I looked back to the sky. I spent hours wandering the plain, absorbed in that height, before the come down came down and I remembered I was DIUDLG RI WKH GDUN , FULHG DQG VSUHDG P\ DUPV LQ IURQW RI PH DQG WKHQ WKH 9RONVZDJHQ¡V headlights came on ten feet from me. 7KH YLVLWRU ZDV WKHUH , WROG KLP , ZDV JRLQJ WR GLH RXW KHUH DQG , KDGQ¡W VDLG JRRGbye to my mother. He held me and I stopped crying and we were kissing. He lay me down in the grass and I was careful not to look at his face, the faces his face was makLQJ ,QVWHDG , ZDWFKHG KLV VKRXOGHU PRYH DJDLQVW WKH VN\ KRZ LW FRYHUHG DQG XQFRYHUHG WKH VWDUV DQG WKRXJKW GLVWDQWO\ DERXW WKH OHJHQG RI PDWLQJ GUDJRQV ,W¡V VDLG WKH\ WXFN LQ WKHLU ZLQJV DQG LQ PLG DLU IXVH LQ IUHQ]LHG PRYHPHQW 7KH\ SOXPPHW VSLUDOLQJ ZLWK VQRXWV SRLQWHG GRZQ 7KH VFHQW RI WKH HDUWK JURZV HYHU VWURQJHU 7KH\ KXUU\ /DWHU WKH YLVLWRU ZDV IDOOLQJ DVOHHS EHVLGH PH DQG KH DVNHG 'LG \RX" $QG , GLG D VWUDQJH WKLQJ DQG , WROG WKH WUXWK DQG , VDLG 1R 2Q P\ EHWWHU GD\V , FDQ FRQYLQFH myself it was more than the trip that kept me from lying. , ZRNH XS WR KLP VWDQGLQJ RYHU PH SXOOLQJ RQ KLV MHDQV LQ WKH GDZQ OLJKW +H VDLG , GLGQ¡W PHDQ WR ZDNH \RX XS 7KURXJK D SRXQGLQJ KHDGDFKH , VTXLQWHG DW KLV XQ]LSSHG Ă \ DQG , VDLG , ORYH \RX +H NQHHOHG EHVLGH PH +H ODLG KLV OLSV RQ P\ OLSV +H VDLG ,¡P OHDYLQJ QRZ +H ]LSSHG KLV Ă \ DQG , GLGQ¡W ZDWFK WKH EXV GULYH DZD\ 6RPHWLPH LQ WKH QH[W FRXSOH KRXUV DV , VDW LQ WKDW VRLOHG JUDVV XQGHU WKH PHUFLOHVV VXQ , UHPHPEHUHG , ZDV VWDUYLQJ DQG , KDGQ¡W WDNHQ WKH SLOO LQ GD\V ,¡P QRW VXUH ZKLFK ZDV Ă€UVW , ZRXOG¡YH HQGHG MXVW OLNH WKDW WKH ODVW ZRUG EHLQJ Ă€UVW, the tip of my right index Ă€QJHU PHHWLQJ WKH WLS RI P\ OHIW WKXPE , FDQ¡W VHHP WR WKLQN EH\RQG WKLV VXGGHQO\ FDQ¡W UHPHPEHU DQ\WKLQJ HOVH :KHUH KDV WKH WLPH JRQH" +DV LW IDOOHQ WKURXJK D KROH" 0D\EH :HQG\ WRRN LW ZLWK KHU 7KH SLORW¡V YRLFH WRR ORXG VD\V ZH¡OO EH WRXFKLQJ JURXQG LQ 1HZ <RUN VKRUWO\ , FDQ¡W XQGHUVWDQG P\ OLIH RQ WKLV SODQH LWV VWUDQJH IDEULF , MXVW ZLVK , FRXOG¡YH WDNHQ :HQG\¡V KXPHUXV WKURXJK VHFXULW\ VR , FRXOG KROG LW QRZ , ZDQW WR FUDGOH LW DQG HYHQ WKRXJK LW FDQ¡W KHDU PH , ZDQW WR ZKLVSHU WKDW LW¡V KDUG WKH come down.

5 1

W i l d B l u e Yonder

Four Wr iters Pause Before They Lea p

I

took the red-eye out of John Wayne, KDG D WKLUW\ PLQXWH OD\RYHU LQ 6DQ )UDQFLVFR DQG DUULYHG LQ %RVWRQ DW D P It was the cheapest one-way ticket out RI ,UYLQH &DOLIRUQLDÂł WR NHHS WKH SURPLVH ,¡G PDGH WR P\VHOI LQ D \HOORZ bathroom stall in middle school. Get me out of here and I’ll make it all happen. 7KH IDFWV GRQ¡W FKDQJH \RX OLYH LQ WKH same house on the same block with the same neighbors from grades K-12 and when you tire of the sun and blue skies and grilled sandwiches from the French SDVWU\ VKRS \RX ORYH VR PXFK \RX PDNH SODQV FRPPLW \RXUVHOI WR OHDYLQJ $W WKH bottom of the yellow bathroom, I sank EHFDXVH , NQHZ , ZRXOG KDYH QRWKLQJ EXW WHQ PRUH OLYHV RI WKLV DQG RQO\ WKLV , KDG WR OHDYH PDNH D FODLP RQ ODQG WKDW ZDVQ¡W PRZHG ZLWK (= )HUWLOL]H KDG WR OLYH QLQH PRQWKV RXW RI WKH WZHOYH RQ WKH RWKHU coast because I felt the yearning and the SXOOLQJ VOXPSHG RQ WKH Ă RRU RI WKDW \HOlow bathroom stall and I had to answer to it. “Final call for boarding.â€? And I did.

Melissa Park

M

y dad and I are going out to the coal VKHG ,W¡V )HEUXDU\ DQG LW¡V VQRZLQJ – small shards of ice in the wind blowing down from the mountains smelling bitter and fresh. Our house is two hundred DQG Ă€IW\ \HDUV ROG FDYH OLNH DQG ZLWKRXW modern heat. We rely on bituminous coal, wood, and the insulation of hewn ORJV WR NHHS ZDUP LQ WKH ZLQWHU %HWZHHQ 1RYHPEHU DQG 0DUFK ZH VKRYHO IXHO LQWR RXU ELJ NLWFKHQ VWRYH KHDW UDGLDWLQJ from its black iron surface to the rest of WKH KRXVH PDNLQJ XV FR]\ DQG D OLWWOH VRRW FRYHUHG :H FDUU\ WKUHH IXOO KHDY\ EXFNHWV RI coal from the shed to the back porch, about two hundred yards. My hands ache and feel taut and then cease to operate altogether. When I set the bucket down, P\ KDQG VWD\V FXUYHG LQ WKH VKDSH RI WKH KDQGOH , VKDNH P\ JORYHV RII DQG WU\ WR PRYH P\ Ă€QJHUV EXW WKH\ EDUHO\ budge. A dull twinge of something that LVQ¡W SDLQ %HIRUH P\ GDG FDQ JHW LQ IURP the porch, I touch them to the top of the VWRYH MXVW IRU D VSOLW VHFRQG DQG UHPRYH them. It burns. Electricity and adrenaline Ă RRG P\ ERG\ DQG P\ KDQGV EOXVK UHG , put them under cool water in the sink. My Ă€QJHUWLSV EOLVWHU D OLWWOH ELW P\ SDOPV ORRN UDZ DQG VFUDSHG 7KH\¡UH EDFN WR OLIH

ZoĂŤ Hayden

K

eys angled, pressed into the ignition, , ZREEOH WKH UHDU YLHZ FRQĂ€JXULQJ LW to roughly the same position Mary keeps LW ,¡P EUHDWKLQJ KHDY\ EXW VORZ *LDQW walloping minutes roll by as I grip my KDQGV RQ DQG IRUHKHDG SUHVVHG WR WU\LQJ WR FRQYLQFH P\VHOI WKDW , FDQ PRYH WKH 9ROYR IURP RQH SDUNLQJ ORW WR the other. 'ULYLQJ P\ JLUOIULHQG¡V FDU RU DQ\ VL]DEOH UROOLQJ REMHFW WHQGV WR VWUHVV PH out. Somewhere between the engine WXUQLQJ RYHU VKLIWLQJ IURP 3 WR 5 RU WU\ing to remember R from L, my ear drums IHHO OLNH WKH\ PLJKW FDYH LQ DQG OHW WKH world swoop right into my skull. How do I know what direction the wheels are turned or if the pedals are touchy or ZKDW LI LW VWDUWV WR UDLQ DQG , FDQ¡W Ă€QG WKH wiper blade controls? , Ă€QG WKH ZLSHU FRQWUROV ² WKH\¡UH the sharp broken nub sticking out of the VWHHULQJ FROXPQ 7KDW¡V SUREDEO\ VRPH NLQG RI VDIHW\ KD]DUG , UHPLQG P\VHOI to remind Mary I could glue it back on IRU KHU 6WLOO VLWWLQJ LQ WKH 9ROYR ZKLFK LV SDLQWHG D QRW XQSOHDVDQW shade of Grey Poupon, I stare up at the tickets stubs, Polaroids, cookie fortunes and this baby tooth in a small plastic baggie pinned to the fabric roof. What if WKH WDFNV IDOO RXW RQWR P\ KHDG ZKLOH ,¡P GULYLQJ" :KRVH WRRWK LV WKDW" , FRXOG VLW KHUH IRUHYHU DJRQL]LQJ %XW VRPHERG\ LV JRQQD KDYH WR PRYH WKLV damn car.

Meredith Pomeroy

Photograph by Elliot Higger

I

Q WKH QDPH RI ORYHÂł*DEE\ ZKR LV my age, nineteen, has three children by three different boys. ,Q WKH QDPH RI ORYHÂł0\ PRWKHU *DEE\¡V PRWKHU DQG 7DQW\ 6XVLH VD\ D woman will do anything in the name of ORYHÂłPXVW EH WUXH 0\ PRWKHU VD\V P\ brother and I fathers left as soon as they UHDOL]HG ORYH EURXJKW VRPHWKLQJ WR PLQH , QHYHU VHH *DEE\¡V IDWKHU EXW HYHU\ QRZ and then I see a different man in and out RI KHU KRXVHÂłORYH FDQ EH XS DQG GRZQ sometimes. As for Tanty Susie—she ran her husband out of their house with a cutlass because she meet him in bed with D ZRPDQ FDOOHG -RDQQD IURP WKH RWKHU YLOlage—Tanty Susie re-married her husband last month. %R\ DIWHU ER\ *DEE\ FRPHV DURXQG the corner with her belly big like a breathLQJ IURJÂłKDQG LQ KDQG ZLWK VZHHW ORYH LQ between—until it curdles like sour milk. In WKH QDPH RI ORYH WKHVH ER\V VWD\ DURXQG until Gabby lays her egg. And then—she comes around the corner with her baby egg tuck underneath her breast, shoo-in her children like wild KHQV RXW RI WKH URDGÂłQR ORYH DURXQG VKH FRPHV DQG VLW E\ PH RQ WKH GXVW\ SDYHment in front of my house. 7KHUH LV QR PRUH ORYH WR RFFXS\ KHU WLPH 7KH DIWHUQRRQ EUHH]H SUHJQDQW with her worries, sings my ears off. We sit in silence and watch as the sun slide off the mountaintops signaling the end of the GD\ÂłQHZ EXUGHQV IRU WRPRUURZ %DE\ swindle in the clothes from the other outgrown hen, she says: ´, WRXJKW GLV RQH GLG ORYH PH Âľ “And ah tought dis one was going to stay.â€? ´:HOO Âľ ´$OO GDW LV LQ GH QDPH RI ORYH Âľ And then I wonder as the crickets sing WKHLU ´SXQND QDWÂľ WXQH DQG WKH VDQG Ă LHV¡ backsides light—if I would fall in this predicament—fall off the cliff—just to be in WKH QDPH RI ORYH

Winelle Felix

5 3

USE PICK-UP LINES ´'LG LW KXUW"µ 6KH JODQFHV DURXQG DQG GULQNV MXQJOH MXLFH ´:KDW"µ 6ZHDWLQJ ERGLHV FURZG KHU YLVLRQ ´'LG LW KXUW"µ ´'LG ZKDW KXUW"µ +H VWDQGV DVLGH ´:KHQ \RX IHOO IURP KHDYHQ µ :KDW KDSSHQV QH[W IROORZV QDWXUDO ODZ (mating dances PDOH SHDFRFNV VSUHDGLQJ LPSUHVVLRQLVW IHDWKHUV KXPPLQJELUGV GLYLQJ DSSURDFKLQJ FRQFUHWH DQG FXWWLQJ DZD\ -RKQQ\ 'RH VSRWV %HWW\ %RRS DQG PDNHV D VWDWHPHQW %HWW\ LV GD]]OHG E\ KLV 6DWXUGD\ FRQÀGHQFH 7KH\ DWWHPSW SURFUHDWLRQ EHKLQG WKH FORVHW GRRUV :KDW PDNHV SHRSOH FRPH WRJHWKHU" *RRG FRQYHUVDWLRQ :KDW HOHPHQWV VPDVK WRJHWKHU" %UHH]\ FRQÀGHQFH hydrogen) attracts weighty humor (oxygen). With blinding nuclear ÁDVKHV JRRG UDSSRUW H2O IXVHV (QRXJK UDSSRUW FUHDWHV WKH ÁXLG VWUHDP RI FRQYHUVDWLRQ ZKLFK FDQQRW KDSSHQ ZLWKRXW VRFLDO HOHPHQWV :LWKRXW WKDW LQLWLDO VSDUN $SSURDFK WKDW QH[W ORYHO\ JLUO $VN KHU VRPHWKLQJ VWXSLG *LYH FKHPLVWU\ D FKDQFH BE NINJAS FOR FREE 'RZQORDGDEOH JDPHV FRPH LQ WKUHH FDWHJRULHV $ZHVRPH DQG LOOHJDO 6KLWW\ DQG WRWDOO\ IUHH 1LQMD +HDYHQ :KHQ \RX FDQ UHDFK =HQ E\ JRLQJ RQOLQH DQG VHDUFKLQJ ´'RZQORDG 1 *DPH µ ZK\ FKRRVH DQ\WKLQJ HOVH" 1 SURYLGHV RQH OLWWOH ÀJXUH UXQQLQJ DURXQG VTXDUH JDPH ZRUOGV ZLWK D EXQFK RI JX\V \RX GRQ·W ZDQW WR WRXFK %DVLFDOO\ Mario Bros. ZLWK GRSH SK\VLFV DQG JDPHSOD\ VR DGGLFWLQJ ´SURFUDVWLQDWLRQµ LV DOUHDG\ EHLQJ VLPSOLÀHG WR LWV ODVW OHWWHU E\ :HEVWHU·V 2QOLQH 'LFWLRQDU\ 2SHQ WKH JUD\ GRRUV ZLWK WKH EOXH NH\V :DON WKURXJK WKHP *HQLXV

DEVELOP GUNSLINGER EYES 2U PRGHUQ YDPSLUH SRZHUV EXOOHW WLPH WKDW DELOLW\ WR FOLFN D ZDWFK DQG VHH WKH EHH·V ZLQJV ÁXWWHULQJ VORZO\ EHVLGH \RX $OO RI WKHVH VHQVHV DQG PRUH FDQ EH \RXUV ´+RZ"µ \RX DVN" 6WRS HDWLQJ PHDW 6HULRXVO\ 7RQ\ 5REELQV VD\V ´6DQGZLFKHV GRQ·W GLJHVW LQ \RXU VWRPDFK µ %UHDG DQG SURWHLQ" ,QFRPSDWLEOH DFLGV 0DNHV \RXU ERG\ LQHIÀFLHQW Just check out the combination chart in Unlimited Power. After three or four days of watery produce and good FKRLFHV QDWXUH ZLOO UHZDUG \RX E\ IHHOLQJ KLJK DOO WKH WLPH 5XQ IRUW\ PLOHV 6SHDN ZLWK FRQÀGHQFH $GPLUH WDOO EXLOGLQJV 0HDW UHODSVH LV H[SHFWHG DQG HQFRXUDJHG DIE ON THE OREGON TRAIL BEFORE YOU DIE “Oh damn it, I got dysentery.” The nine year old sighs and asks his computer teacher to go to the bathroom. Other pioneers rattle their computer chairs, complaining about snake-bites. And you? “Sounds complicated…” So EXU\ \RXUVHOI LQ ZDWHUFRORUV 6SHFXODWH DERXW FURVVLQJ ULYHUV DQG IRUGLQJ EURRNV ([SHULHQFH WKHLU KHUR ÁDVKbacks, centuries later, and think, I had one chance to explore America and chose to play solitaire and defuse mines instead… :HOO VNLSSHU LW·V QHYHU WRR ODWH IRU WKDW '26W\ WUDLO %OD]H \RXU OLWWOH KHDUW RXW

Words by Matt Haviland

QUIT FACEBOOK <RX·OO EH EDFN« WKH\ NQRZ WKDW QRWLFH KRZ \RXU SURÀOH QHYHU really GLVDSSHDUV %XW D FRXSOH RI ZHHNV ZLWKRXW SRVWLQJ VDG VDFN VWDWXVHV ZLOO LPSURYH \RXU OLIH 3ROLVK \RXU ELF\FOH 5HFRUG D PL[WDSH ZRUN WKURXJK \RXU /LO· :D\QH FROOHFWLRQ $QG PDNH VRPH KXPDQ FRQQHFWLRQV EHIRUH RXU EHWWHU VHOYHV RQ )DFHERRN EHFRPH WKH WDNHRYHU URERWV SUHGLFWHG E\ ,VDDF $VLPRY 1RERG\ FDQ WHOO D )DFHERRN SHUVRQDOLW\ WR ´GR QR KDUP µ 7KH\ ZLOO UHSRSXODWH DQG FUHDWH YLUWXDO FKLOGUHQ ZKR ZLOO JURZ LQWR DGXOWV ZLWK JUHDW SHUVRQDOLWLHV DQG WKH UHDO SRSXODWLRQ ZLOO GLH RXW EHFDXVH QRERG\ VDYHG HQRXJK FKDULVPD WR DWWUDFW HDFK RWKHU DQG IXUWKHU WKH VSHFLHV

YOU SHOULD

WATCH WESTERNS Hard honor and glory are never VSRWWHG <RX KDYH WR ZDON WKURXJK EDW ZLQJ GRRUV DQG VLW QHDU D SLDQR SOD\HU WR ZDWFK UHDO PDQOLQHVV XQIROG DQG WKHQ LW·V MXVW WZR JX\V GRLQJ WZHOYH VKRWV HDFK 1D\ 5HQW :HVWHUQ ÀOPV 5HVHDUFK WKH JRRG RQHV ÀUVW DQG WKHQ JR DKHDG %X\ 0DUOERURV 6D\ ´, ZLOO KDYH WKH :HVWHUQV µ WR D FOHUN DW %ORFNEXVWHU +H·OO VD\ WKH\ GRQ·W KDYH DQ\ EHFDXVH WKH\ KDG D OLTXLGDWLRQ VDOH <RX·OO VPLUN DQG WHOO KLP ´, KDYH DOO WKH :HVWHUQV µ 7KHQ \RX·OO ZDON DZD\ OLJKWLQJ D FLJDUHWWH LQGRRUV DQG VWDPSLQJ LW RXW RQ WKH GRRUPDW $ UHDO outlaw. Finally.

ETYMOLOGY

Words by Clara Everhart

LUNATIC From the late 13th century, to be “affected with periodic insanity, dependent on the changes of the moon.â€? From the Latin, lunaticus ´PRRQ VWUXFN Âľ )URP ZHUHZROYHV WR PHQVWUXDWLRQ LW VHHPV WKDW WKH PRRQ FRQWUROV HYHU\WKLQJ P\VWHULRXV

G-STRING )LUVW XVHG LQ WR GHVFULEH WKH ORLQFORWK RI D 1DWLYH $PHULFDQ RULJLQDOO\ VSHOOHG JHHVWULQJ (W\PRORJLVWV ZRQGHU LI WKH œ*¡ UHIHUV WR WKH PXVLFDO QRWH EHFDXVH KRQHVWO\ ZKDW HOVH FRXOG LW PHDQ" G-string entered the popular lexicon in 1936, with reference to strip-teasers. Whale tails and the term ´EXWW FOHDYDJH¾ ZHUH RQO\ D PDWWHU RI WLPH

CLIFFHANGER 7KH QRRQ WUDLQ LV KHDGHG RXW RI WRZQ DQG RXU KHUR LV WLHG WR WKH WUDFNV MXVW Ă€IWHHQ PLQXWHV DZD\ Racing against the clock, and the runaway train, our heroine spurs her horse on faster. The harsh sun EOD]HV RYHUKHDG DQG GXVW ZKLSV DFURVV KHU IDFH 2XU KHUR FDQ¡W UHDFK KLV LWFK\ QRVH $V WKH WUDLQ DQG horse approach the helpless track-bound leading man, the train lets out a shrill blast of steam, and—

SKIN 7KH ODUJHVW RUJDQ LQ WKH KXPDQ ERG\ VNLQ LV WKDW SRURXV JUHDV\ KLGH FRYHULQJ \RXU ERG\ 7KH SKUDVH ´VNLQ GHHS¾ LV DWWULEXWHG WR 7KRPDV 2YHUEXU\ LQ LQ ZKLFK KH GHVFULEHG ´$OO WKH FDUQDO EHDXW\ RI P\ ZLIH ,V EXW VNLQ GHHS ¾ ,Q WKH PRYLH LQGXVWU\ DQG GLYH PRYLH VKRSV ´VNLQ¾ EHFDPH V\QRQ\PRXV ZLWK SRUQRJUDSK\ LQ :H ZRQGHU LI WKDW ZDV ZKDW 2YHUEXU\ KDG LQ PLQG

ROULETTE 7KH )UHQFK ZRUG IRU ´JDPEOLQJ JDPH SOD\HG ZLWK D UHYROYLQJ ZKHHO Âľ IURP WKH ROG )UHQFK URHOHWH RU ´OLWWOH ZKHHOÂľ +LJK ULVN DQG GHWHUPLQHG E\ IDWH WKH ZRUG ZDV Ă€UVW XVHG LQ ZKHQ D QHZ IRUP RI JDPEOLQJ ZDV FUHDWHG WR XS WKH DQWH ODWHO\ XVHG WR GHVFULEH WKH DGGLFWLQJ DELOLW\ WR PHHW WKH GHQL]HQV of the Internet, and their dicks, up close and personal.

NIGHTMARE :LWK VSLGHUOLNH ÀQJHUV VKH FOLPEV LQWR EHG +HU ERQHV FUHDN OLNH ROG GRRUV DV VKH VWUHWFKHV RXW KHU nose almost touching your soft, sleeping cheek. She counts your eyelashes, licks her lips, and places her à LWWHULQJ VNLWWHULQJ ÀQJHUWLSV RQ \RXU WKURDW :KHQ \RX WU\ WR EUHDWKH LQ WKH VWLOO VLOHQW DLU VKH SUHVVHV

Illustrations by Cole Dennis and Emily Small

5 5

Gauge  Magazine  is  produced  twice  a  year  by  undergraduates  at  Emerson  College.  For  additional  content,  please  visit  our  website  at  http://knowgaugebetter.com.  Gauge  always  welcomes  submissions  for  future  issues.  Pitch  us  your  feature  articles,  Ă›FWLRQ SRHWU\ SKRWRJUDSK\ LOOXVWUDWLRQV SHUVRQDO HVVD\V DQG HYHU\WKLQJ LQ EHWZHHQ Copyright  of  all  materials  reverts  to  the  individual  artists  and  authors.  No  materials  may  be  reproduced  under  any  circumstances  without  written  permission.  G18  was  set  in  Garamond,  Tapeworm,  Code  Light,  and  Helvetica  Neue.

Cover Photography by Sarah Jacobs Assisted by Hannah Cotier and Ian Wexler Model Rebecca Strong

Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.