Empty Closet May, 2014

The Empty Closet

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number 478

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L-R, front: Pamela Barres, KaeLyn Rich, Sheilah Sable, Eoghann Renfroe, Julia Saenz, Rep. Harry Bronson. Back: Andrew London, Chris Beato. Photo: Lorraine Woerner-McGowan

Pride Agenda forum looks at GENDA, other current bills

By Eileen Fay Three pieces of legislation important to the LGBTQ community are currently under consideration in Albany and on April 9, a forum on Legislative & Policy Issues Affecting the LGBT Community discussed those bills, hosted by the Empire State Pride Agenda at Downtown United Presbyterian Church.

The speakers were Sheilah R. Sable, Director of Organizing at the Empire State Pride Agenda; Julia A. Sáenz, Esq. of Empire Justice Center; KaeLyn Rich of the Genesee Valley Chapter of the New York Civil Liberties Union and Eòghann Renfroe, Transgender Rights Organizer for the Pride Agenda.

Present in the audience were State Assemblyman Harry B. Bronson, State Senator Ted O’Brien, City Councilman Michael Patterson, representatives from the offices of the mayor and City Councilmember Matt Haag and Pride Agenda board member Pamela Barres and other trans activists.

The panelists discussed the three bills of relevance to the LGBT community for which the Pride Agenda is currently advocating. The Protecting LGBT Youth from Psychological Abuse

legislation was introduced jointly to both houses of the state legislature and stands a good chance of being passed. Its purpose is to outlaw the dangerous, discredited practice of “conversion therapy” – now illegal for minors in both California and New Jersey – intended to alter an individual’s sexual orientation or gender identity.

Meanwhile, the Child-Parent Security Act seeks to permit enforceable surrogacy contracts and address the legal status of children conceived via sperm,

The Gay Alliance appreciates the continuing partnership of businesses within our community who support our mission and vision.

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Photo: Jill Frier

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L-R: Maurice Tomlinson, Dr. Marvin McMickle, Dontaee Williamson, Wanda Martinez, Dee Nepomuceno, Jasan Ward, Rev. Tom Decker.

Panel discusses intersections of race, religion, LGBTQ identities

By Adam Young On April 7, the panel discussion, “The Intersectionality Between Race and LGBTQ Identities,” featured four representatives of the LGBTQ community discussing how they struggled to reconcile their sexual orientation with their ethnicity and religious upbringing.

The panel, organized by Jeanne Gainsburg of the Gay Alliance and Steve Jarose of the Rochester chapter of the National Coalition Building Institute, was hosted at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church, 707 E. Main St. The panel was part of a month-long look at race issues, in the “Stand Against Racism” event sponsored by the YWCA. Moderated by Dr. Marvin McMickle, president of the Colgate Rochester Crozer Divinity School, each participant began

by stating how they defined themselves in terms of sexual orientation and ethnicity, and describing their childhood journeys to interpret that definition.

Panelist Jasán Ward of the MOCHA Center said that he (Panel continues page 6)

Weddings…. Page 17

egg, or embryo donation. It will also streamline the invasive second parent adoption process.

The big topic of the night, however, was the Gender Expression Non-Discrimination Act, currently the Pride Agenda’s number one priority.

GENDA was introduced in 2003 following the success of the Sexual Orientation Non-Discrimination Act, introduced in 1971

by Assembly leader Al Blumenthal and State Senator Manfred Ohrenstein and finally passed in 2002. Whereas SONDA prohibits discrimination based on sexual orientation, GENDA aims to add gender identity and expression as a protected class to New York’s human rights and hate crimes laws, as well as protect transgender and gender non-conforming New Yorkers from discrimination in the areas of housing, employment, credit, education, and public accommodations.

This would also shield cisgender individuals who do not conform to traditional gender norms, such as, according to one of the speakers, women with short hair or men who wear nail polish. To illustrate the urgency of this bill, Renfroe shared sobering statistics from a 2011 report released by the National Center for Trans Equality and The Task Force, revealing widespread unemployment, homelessness, lack of health insurance, lack of housing, and vulnerability to violence and harassment afflicting the trans* community to the extent that this can impede even the most ordinary, everyday tasks.

At the moment, legal protections for transgender people – and anyone else at risk for this form of discrimination – are piecemeal and vary by municipality. A trans* person who works in the City of Rochester cannot be fired for their gender expression, yet can be evicted from their apartment in the suburbs.

GENDA, if passed, would standardize protections at the state level.

Certainly, it has been enormously frustrating to watch the bill pass six times in the State Assembly since 2008, yet never come to vote in the Senate, but Assemblymember Harry Bronson observes a slow shift in the rhetoric. Previously, upwards twothirds of the discussion among lawmakers would center on logistics regarding public restrooms, he noted dryly. Efforts at educat(GENDA continues page 3)

may 2014

NYS Sen. Brad Hoylman

Pride Agenda Spring Dinner set for May 17 On Saturday, May 17, The Empire State Pride Agenda Spring Dinner celebrates Rochester and Western New York’s commitment to winning the fight for equality and justice for LGBTQ New Yorkers.

The evening will feature a reception, a presentation of the Community Service Award to Evelyn Bailey of Shoulders To Stand On and a live auction.

The reception starts at 5:45 p.m., followed by the dinner and program at 7 p.m., at the Rochester Riverside Convention Center.

This year, the Pride Agenda welcomes New York State Senator Brad Hoylman, who will provide the evening’s keynote.

Sen. Hoylman is an ardent supporter of the Gender Expression Non-Discrimination Act (GENDA) and is the lead sponsor on the Child-Parent Security Act, as well as a bill presently before the State Legislature that would protect LGBTQ youth from so-called “conversion therapy” that tries to change who they are.

Stephen Wallem, best known for his role as Thor on the Showtime series “Nurse Jackie”, will be on hand to emcee the Pride Agenda’s biggest evening in Rochester. Popular with television audiences, Wallem is a veteran of the stage, having performed across the country alongside such names as Patti LuPone, Richard Chamberlain and David Hyde Pierce.

Long-time Rochester activist Evelyn Bailey will receive the Community Service Award (Spring Dinner continues page 3)

Inside

Editorials....................................... 2 Local/State News........................ 3 National/International News..... 4 Interview: Tristan Wright.................. 6 Opinion........................................15 LGBTQ Living: Weddings...........17 Shoulders To Stand On ...........21 Columnists ................................22 Community ................................25 Entertainment: Sunset Blvd.......27 Gay Alliance: Big Gay Prom.......30 Calendar.....................................34 Classifieds..................................34 Comics................................ 34, 35 The Gay Alliance is publisher of the Empty Closet, New York State’s oldest LgbtQ newspaper.

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the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 478 • may 2014

Gay Alliance Board of Trustees

Perspectives The Empty Closet Editor Susan Jordan

Weddings and human rights Next month is the traditional time for weddings, so May is a good month to think about wedding plans – in fact most couples who will marry in June have been planning for months already.

In “LGBTQ Living” we interview activists Anne Tischer and Bess Watts about the changes in our culture since their own marriage. The first same sex wedding held in Rochester, it took place in 2004 in Manhattan Square Park.

Marriage has been legal for same sex couples in New York State since 2011. How do they see society’s changes?

We also talk to three couples who are planning to marry, and we excerpt a gaystarnews.com article on the travel company Further Afield and its list of gayfriendly dream honeymoon sites.

Recent polling indicates that a majority now approves of marriage equality; some extremists are giving up the campaign to destroy gay families as a lost cause. Our marriages are legal in 17 states plus D.C. In some states the marriages are stayed pending appeal. In Michigan a Republican governor so far refuses to recognize the marriages that have taken place – but the federal government does recognize them, as Attorney General Eric Holder has made clear. Colorado has civil unions, Oregon and Nevada broad domestic partnerships, Wisconsin limited d.p. Lit-

igation is underway in all but four states. (See page 17 for more information.)

Some LGBTQ people are not interested in marriage and find it a middleclass waste of time, or a problem if our movement has become a single-issue movement.

Nonetheless, marriage equality has far deeper implications and consequences than just the ceremony, the honeymoon, or even the thousand-plus rights that come with legal marriages.

The increasing acceptance of LGBTQ marriages and families means, most profoundly, that we can no longer be stereotyped as subhuman sexual predators who are incapable of love. To love is to be human – and if society formally recognizes that gays are capable of love and commitment, that implies we are real human beings who deserve FULL human and civil rights. Also, marriage between two men or women abolishes the old heterosexist man-is-master-woman-isproperty definition of marriage.

Both changes explain the rage felt by the extremists who have funded the billion-dollar backlash campaign.

By the way – do you know why June is the traditional wedding month? In ancient days May was the month when temples were cleansed and purified, and sexual relations were forbidden. If you wanted to marry in May, you had to offer hawthorn torches to the Virgin Goddess Artemis/Diana. If you failed to do that – well, there is an old saying, “Marry in May and rue the day”.

June 1-2 was the feast of the Roman goddess Carnea, Lady of the Flesh (carne, carnival etc.)

After May’s chastity came June’s sacred celebration of sexuality.

Many of our most cherished traditions and beliefs originated in pre-Christian religions, and that history was erased. Therefore we often “don’t know what we are talking about” – what our words really mean and where our customs came from! ■

David Zona, President, Jessica Muratore, Vice-President, W. Bruce Gorman, Secretary, Peter Mohr, Treasurer, Jason Barnecut, Chris Hilderbrant, Emily Jones, Jeff Lambert, Jeff Markarian, Steve Santacroce, William Schaefer, Chris Woodworth

Gay Alliance Executive Director Scott Fearing

Share your thoughts with us This October my partner and I will celebrate our 10th Anniversary together.

But I have to admit, here in the Empty Closet, that I find myself setting up dates with other people these days. My schedule is filled with breakfasts, lunches, dinners, coffee, happy hours and meetings with people who are not my partner.

We have not redefined our relationship, but it seems that he and I have a little less time to spend together.

You see, I am scheduling these breakfasts, lunches, dinners and meetings not because I am bored or have nothing else to do, actually quite the opposite. Gay Alliance staff is out meeting with people in order to learn more about community needs. These appointments are helping the Gay Alliance to do its work better.

As the leading resource of, and for, the LGBTQ communities, we must know what community members think and need. That is the only way that we can create our future.

The sad reality is, and we all know this, tensions exist between different identities in the wonderful LGBTQA mix.

We all know how the conversations play out: people say that this group is too lesbian, or that group is too wealthy. We hear that there is no place for white people at that event, or

Name

that group charges too much for their events. We hear that the crowd at that bar is too old, and it is too young at that one. Arghh, it makes one’s head spin trying to remember where we are supposedly not welcome.

The Gay Alliance works hard to be a place for all. That is why we are meeting with people, trying to learn what others want and need from us -- their community organization. So, do you have something to say? Want to help plan the future? Reach out and share your thoughts with us.

We will soon launch an electronic community survey but there is no need to wait.

Feel free to drop a note to us now at TheFuture@GayAlliance.org and tell us what you think the future looks like for the Rochester LGBTQA communities. You can even invite us to your meeting or ask to set up an appointment.

Before I finish I want to address our name, The Gay Alliance. Why not the LGBTQQIAA2S Alliance? For now, we can tell you that our 41-year-old name still helps people who need us, find us.

Every week we hear from someone who found us by searching for “Gay Resources” in Rochester. We hear this from people of all identities, all classes, all races, all ages, we even hear it from parents and family members.

So for now, we acknowledge that our name may seem problematic, but we know it has “market value” and, more importantly, are very proud that our work is fully inclusive.

What does the future hold?

Who knows? A new vision? A new name? We want to know what you think. ■

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Benefits: Subscription to The Empty Closet mailed to home or work, plus privileges at each level. Phone: 585 244-8640 or mail to: Gay Alliance, 875 E. Main St., Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14605. Home delivery of the Empty Closet is free with your annual membership.

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may 2014 • number 478 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

page one (Spring Dinner from page 1) this year. Evelyn is an educator, political activist and historian and has led the LGBT movement with posts at many different community organizations and initiatives. Most recently, Evelyn’s commitment to record the work and progress of Rochester’s community turned into a decade-long project which includes Shoulders To Stand On, the documentary film from the Gay Alliance which premiered last fall at ImageOut. Pride Agenda Executive Director Nathan M. Schaefer will update the audience on the latest political issues.

General tickets are $140. See http://prideagenda.org/events/ spring-dinner#1. ■

(GENDA from page 1) ing legislators, however, including one-on-one conversations with those most uncomfortable with the topic, have been instrumental in helping our elected officials understand that GENDA is ultimately a non-discrimination bill.

Even non-progressives, everyone agreed, at least in New York, don’t like discrimination; 78 percent of New Yorkers already support this legislation, according to a 2008 poll.

Conservative opponents of equal rights for trans* citizens claim that “men in skirts” would invade women’s restrooms and rape women if the bill is passed.

In fact, it should be noted that there are no laws New York State prohibiting people from using the restroom matching their gender identity. Most trans women using the women’s room are actually arrested on trumped-up charges of loitering or indecent exposure.

Even among the 17 states (along with DC) with laws similar to GENDA on the books, there are no known incidents of transgender people attacking anyone in a public restroom. In reality, the majority of violence in this context is perpetuated by cisgendered people against trans* people.

Buying a home, having a job, not living in fear, not feeling driven to suicide – these are universal human rights that anyone can relate to. In the fight for civil rights, that human side is crucial.

Marriage equality, after all, won by transforming the conversation into one of love and commitment. A huge factor in the “sea change” observed by many regarding the acceptance of gay, lesbian, and bisexual people has been the simple fact that an estimated 75 percent of straight people know someone who is LGB. Yet only one cisgender person out of ten knows someone who is transgender.

“We can’t be in the closet or we won’t advance,” said one trans woman in the audience, a sentiment shared by many present at the forum. While formal transgender leadership is clearly crucial – the four panel members acknowledged the incongruity of only one trans man and three cis folks discussing trans* rights – the most basic form of activism any trans* individual can do is to come out to a friend.

To put it succinctly, in order to put a human face on the trans* movement, “We need the reallife stories.” ■

NewsFronts Local and State

3 the past thirty-one years, stood.

With amazing composure and even joy she recounted an episode of Cindy’s last days in hospice, illustrating how Cindy retained her feistiness to the end.

Marge said, “The hospice staff knew I was Cindy’s partner, so they said to me, ‘Feel free to get into her bed and cuddle.’ So I did, trying carefully not to lie on any of the tubes she was attached to. After a little while Cindy said to me, ‘I love you, Marge, but…’ and she jabbed me with her elbow to get out of bed!”...

(I) stood and recalled being with Cindy at a protest soon after the Iraq war began. Students in the crowd were singing “War! What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing!” Cindy began dancing to the music, singing as she crooked my arm in hers and spun me around.

This was my image, I said, of Cindy’s joyful activism.

Highland gives free mammograms to women 40, older

A tribute to Lucinda Sangree, feminist activist, who passed in February at 82

By Ramona Santorelli Lucinda “Cindy” Sangree was my friend and mentor. In fact, she was a friend and mentor to many, many people in Rochester.

Cindy and her lifetime partner, Marge Forth, were together for 31 years. I looked to Cindy and Marge as pillars of the lesbian community. Even in her last days on earth, Cindy showed more love and compassion than anyone I’ve seen.

I went to see Cindy at Highland Hospital in February in a tuxedo that I rented for a basketball game. I decided to take my chances and visited Cindy with the tux in formal attire.

Cindy and Marge, as usual, greeted me with such enthusiasm and warmth, I felt I was given the gift of pleasing both of them.

Cindy never stopped giving to others who met her in her final days. Marge was feeling ill and Cindy asked with great love and concern, “Are you alright, darling?”

Cindy spoke to everyone who met her with genuine interest and offered each person something to walk away with that made them feel good about themselves.

I have vivid memories of joining Cindy at a protest of Hooters nightclub, which we felt exploited and objectified women. A group of women staged a fake participation in a beauty pageant. We wheat-

pasted bumper signs that read “This Insults Women” on fronts of porn magazines and protested Black Velvet ads. Cindy marched in numerous Take back the Night Marches to end violence against women.

She was involved in Rochester Women Against Violence Against Women during the ‘70s.

She was very passionate about resolving conflicts peacefully. Cindy joined peaceful protests at the Women’s Peace Encampment in Romulus NY in the ‘80s. Her long involvement with the Society of Friends (Quakers) reinforced her commitment to a life of non-violence and harmony.

Both Cindy and Marge in their crone years participated in a spirited and feisty group of women called the Raging Grannies, singing songs of peace and protests to end all wars. In addition to Cindy’s commitment for peace, she loved nature and animals too.

Cindy was born on March 16, 1931. She attended Briarcliff College and Southern Methodist University. She received her Masters at the University of Chicago and a PHD in Sociology from SUNY Buffalo. She taught Sociology at the University of Rochester.

Cindy is survived by her beautiful, supportive partner, Marge Forth; her daughters, Beth and Cora and her granddaughter Lissa, and by numerous other family and friends.

The following is an account of the memorial service held at the Friends Meeting House for Cindy. In Peggy Rosenthal’s words: Marge, Cindy’s partner of

Highland Breast Imaging Center will team up with The Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester and the Cancer Services Program of Monroe County to offer free mammograms to women 40 and older on May 10.

The screenings will take place at Highland Breast Imaging Center, 500 Red Creek Dr., Ste. 130, Rochester 14623, from 8 a.m.-12 p.m.

Food, beverages and music will be provided and a Reiki practitioner will give free 10-minute sessions.

To make an appointment, call 585-487-3304 or 585-4873305. Free no-cost mammograms are provided by Highland every day, but the May 10 date may be more convenient for some women.

Gay Alliance offers members free $4000 life insurance policy

By Susan Jordan Through the National Income Life Insurance Company, the Gay Alliance is offering members in good standing the opportunity to be provided with a $4000 accidental death and dismemberment policy.

It is a group policy put in place by the Alliance, so there are no monthly premiums and in fact no cost at all to members or to the Gay Alliance.

Executive Director Scott Fearing said, “This is a benefit made available to many unions and labor associations, credit unions and other membership organizations. In early May, all members will receive a letter from me outlining the benefits. The mailing will include a card which they will need to fill out and return if they wish to name a beneficiary or receive other benefits. Beneficiaries may include the Gay Alliance. If there is no beneficiary named, upon the member’s death the money will be paid to their estate. The downside of not naming a beneficiary is that the money would be taxable — whereas with a beneficiary, it is NOT taxable.”

Chris Routier, the Alliance’s member representative with National Income Life, noted, “You can either return the card or respond online. We recommend that you read the entire letter, since it explains all the benefits and the process of returning your beneficiary card.”

The online address will be supplied in the letter, which will go out May 5.

Scott Fearing added, “In addition to the benefits, there are two other Best Benefit programs made available – the Child Safe Kit (no charge) and the Discount Health Services plan for families. It is $6 per year and includes eye care, hearing, dental and prescription drug benefits.”

Anyone with questions can call Chris Routier, cell 585245-2326.

Bronson helps secure VA funding for SAGE veterans Assemblymember Harry Bronson (D-Rochester/Chili/ Henrietta) announced on April 15 that he has worked with Assemblymember Deborah Glick and the Assembly leadership to secure $100,000 for Senior Action in a Gay Environment (SAGE) to help gay and lesbian veterans secure VA benefits.

“For many years gays and lesbians have served this nation with honor and distinction, only to be issued a discharge that was ‘other than honorable’ at the end of their service,” said Assemblymember Harry Bronson. “With passage of this year’s budget, I was able to help secure funding that will ensure that these men and women will be able to be reinstated as ‘honorable’ and receive the recognition they deserve.”

SAGE will establish a comprehensive program for New York State’s LGBT veterans that will provide legal counsel, benefits advocacy and enhanced wrap-around services to improve these veterans’ income security and overall well-being. For many, the program will help veterans access their federal VA benefits for the first time and help them transition from public assistance.

Additionally, SAGE will provide indirect wrap-around services to many more veterans. Through cultural competency training to veterans organizations, aging service providers and legal services agencies that serve veterans, SAGE will reach approximately 600 additional LGBT elder veterans.

SAGE’s program is timely in light of the recent repeal of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ and the invalidation of part of the Defense of Marriage Act, which creates new opportunities for LGBT elder veterans to access important federal benefits,” Bronson added. “I share our nation’s pride for the service of all our military and with this vital program we will be able to extend a proper thank you to gay and lesbian service personnel.”

SAGE is the nation’s oldest and largest non-profit organization providing direct services and advocacy for LGBT older ( VA continues page 6)

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the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 478 • may 2014

NewsFronts national and international

Harvey Milk stamp will be issued May 22 Linnis.com Stamp News in early April revealed the design for the U.S. commemorative “forever stamp” honoring San Francisco political figure and gay rights activist Harvey Milk.

According to Linnis.com: The stamp will be issued on Harvey Milk Day, May 22, in Washington D.C. U.S. Postal Service officials announced the stamp subject in October 2013 but have not formally revealed the image.

Towleroad.com posted, “The campaign advocating for a stamp in Milk’s honor began back in 2009... [this] stamp will be the first to feature an openly LGBT elected official.”

The Washington Blade has an indepth story on the contentious campaign to get the stamp made in the first place.

Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2xjaBt8WZ “Harvey Milk was an extraordinary activist whose courage, tenacity, and legacy are alive today in everything we do to advance real freedom and justice for all LGBT people and their families. His life has been an inspiration to me, personally.

For his service and sacrifice, it is entirely fitting that a forever stamp be dedicated to him and all that he stood for. This tribute would not have been possible without our partners: the Harvey Milk Foundation, the International Imperial Court System and Victory Fund Institute,” said

Rea Carey, Executive Director, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Gay & Lesbian Victory Institute President and CEO Chuck Wolfe issued the following statement regarding the firstday-of-issue dedication ceremony of the Harvey Milk forever stamp: “Harvey Milk urged LGBT people to seek public office because he understood the power of elected officials to create change. Since his high-profile election in San Francisco, thousands of LGBT people around the world have responded to his call to serve their own communities by seeking elected and appointed office, and indeed that is helping to change our world. We applaud President Obama and his administration for opening the White House to this historic occasion, and we are especially grateful to the Harvey Milk Foundation and everyone who worked to make this possible. We hope the issuance of the Harvey Milk stamp will inspire a new generation of young LGBT leaders to choose careers in public service and continue his important work.”

Serial child molester tries to burn lesbians’ home because they “don’t deserve children” Miami police have arrested a 74-yearold registered sex offender and charged him with 10 counts of attempted murder for trying to burn down the home of a lesbian couple and their eight children.

The suspect told police that he is repulsed by the couple and that they don’t deserve to have children. The couple’s eight children survived the fire.

73-year-old Braulio Valenzuela intended to burn down the home that belongs to two women, who lived next door, because they are lesbians. LaTania Dansey is grateful that her girlfriend Norma and their eight children were not hurt from the fire that was set to the home.

“I feel good that they are OK, and we’re OK too,” said Dansey. Security cameras show Valenzuela exiting his home around 4:30 a.m. March 29.

In the video, he disappears behind Dansey’s home, and moments later, the video shows a globe of fire. Detective said that while out of the camera’s sight, Valenzuela set ablaze a mattress that was right outside Dansey’s trailer.

“I saw flashing light. Then I heard crackling,” said Dansey. The flames were extinguished before they could burn down Dansey’s home. Police believe Valenzuela set the fire because he was disgusted by

Dansey’s lesbian relationship.

More from the Miami Herald: Florida Department of Law Enforcement records show Valenzuela-Villanueva... is no stranger to police. Monday’s arrest was at least his 10th since 1994.

Other charges include burglary, grand theft and retail theft. The state records also show he was first arrested for fondling a child in 1994, but the charges were dropped. Then in September 1999, Valenzuela-Villanueva was charged with kidnapping, false imprisonment and indecent exposure to a child under 13. He was later charged with molesting a child in 2006, and arrested again in 2011 for failing to register as a sex offender.

New Mozilla CEO steps down over California Prop 8 support Recently-appointed Mozilla CEO Brendan Eich resigned April 3 over the controversy surrounding his donation to California’s Prop 8 campaign, Mozilla reports in a blog post written by Executive Chairwoman Mitchell Baker: “We didn’t act like you’d expect Mozilla to act. We didn’t move fast enough to engage with people once the controversy started. We’re sorry. We must do better.

“Brendan Eich has chosen to step down from his role as CEO. He’s made this decision for Mozilla and our community.

“Mozilla believes both in equality and freedom of speech. Equality is necessary for meaningful speech. And you need free speech to fight for equality. Figuring out how to stand for both at the same time can be hard.

“Our organizational culture reflects diversity and inclusiveness. We welcome contributions from everyone regardless of age, culture, ethnicity, gender, genderidentity, language, race, sexual orientation, geographical location and religious views. Mozilla supports equality for all.

“We have employees with a wide diversity of views. Our culture of openness extends to encouraging staff and community to share their beliefs and opinions in public. This is meant to distinguish Mozilla from most organizations and hold us to a higher standard. But this time we failed to listen, to engage, and to be guided by our community.

“While painful, the events of the last week show exactly why we need the web.

So all of us can engage freely in the tough conversations we need to make the world better.

“We need to put our focus back on protecting that Web. And doing so in a way that will make you proud to support Mozilla.”

Eich had donated $1,000 to the Proposition 8 campaign. Eich’s donation was revealed by a pair of gay married software developers who announced they were planning to boycott Mozilla’s platform in protest.

In response to anger over the revelation, Mozilla’s blog posted a statement

“to clarify Mozilla’s official support of equality and inclusion for LGBT people.”

Mozilla Foundation Executive Director Mark Surman posted about the controversy on his blog as did Baker.

The Wall Street Journal reported that three Mozilla board members resigned over Eich’s appointment though Mozilla denied reports that Eich was the reason for the board members’ departure in a statement to other media outlets.

Following a rather lackluster statement from Eich in response to the controversy, several employees used Twitter to call on him to step down from his position. And in protest of Eich’s donation the dating service OkCupid blocked access to its site for users of Mozilla’s Firefox browser, a block they later lifted.

Before April 3, Eich gave an interview suggesting he would be staying on at the company but refused to say what his current views are on same-sex marriage.

Anti-gay activist Robert George, the chairman of the United States Commission on International Religious Freedom and the co-founder of the hate group National Organization for Marriage (NOM) recently called for a boycott of Mozilla over some of its employees’ intolerance of anti-gay intolerance.

CREDO, a SF-based progressive organization, reacted to the news: “We applaud Mozilla’s announcement and its strong stand for equal rights,” said Becky Bond, CREDO’s Political Director. “Mozilla is not just a company, it’s a movement supported by tens of thousands of volunteers around the world. Mozilla is a non-profit organization fighting to keep the web open and free for all of us. They put people above profit, and fight for user choice and privacy. Mozilla’s mission is vitally important to every grassroots movement, including the work that we do here at CREDO.”

FAQs are available on inclusive Violence Against Women Act On April 9 the United States Department of Justice Office on Violence Against Women (OVW) released guidance on a series of Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) to inform the intimate partner and sexual violence field about the new nondiscrimination grant condition within the Violence Against Women Act Reauthorization of 2013 to protect lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) survivors from discrimination.

The National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP) commended the Office on Violence Against Women (OVW), through the leadership of Principal Deputy Director Bea Hanson, for championing the implementation of the new nondiscrimination grant condition to protect LGBTQ survivors.

The Violence Against Women Act, first signed into law in 1994, is the nation’s premiere response to intimate partner violence, sexual violence, dating violence, and stalking, the enforcement

may 2014 • number 478 • the gay alliance • the empty closet arm of patriarchal culture’s oppression of women. VAWA funding provides critical life-saving services to survivors of intimate partner and sexual violence across the country; most though not all are women in heterosexual relationships.

For the first time ever, this law explicitly includes LGBTQ survivors of violence. This bill, signed into law one year ago, represents multiple years of continuous work from NCAVP and is a huge victory both for women who have survived the epidemic of violence against women in our culture, and also all LGBTQ communities. The law also increases protections for Native survivors, immigrants, communities of color, and students.

This historic legislation came shortly after the Centers for Disease Control released a national prevalence survey showing that lesbian, gay, and bisexual people experience violence at the same or higher rates as heterosexual people. It comes a year after NCAVP found that transgender people experience sexual violence at twice the rate of non-transgender people.

US District judge strikes down part of Ohio marriage ban On April 14, U.S. District Judge Timothy Black struck down part of a constitutional amendment in Ohio that denies gay couples the freedom to marry and withholds legal respect for gay couples who have gotten married elsewhere.

He ordered the state to treat couples married elsewhere like any other couples who marry out of state -- as married.

Evan Wolfson, president of Freedom to Marry, released the following statement: “Couples who are married should be treated as married no matter where they are in the country, including Ohio.

Couples should not have to play ‘now you’re married, now you’re not’ as they travel, work, move, or return home. This is a good day for families and businesses in Ohio, and a good day for the Constitution and America.”

-Freedom to Marry Cincinnati’s WVXU-TV has further details: Attorney Al Gerhardstein, representing plaintiffs, had amended his request to ask Black to declare all aspects of Ohio’s gay marriage ban unconstitutional. Gerhardstein told WVXU he didn’t ask for gay couples to be allowed to marry in Ohio, just that the state recognize marriages from other states.

-Bilerico Project

Tanzania is latest African country to consider hate law Tanzanian Member of Parliament Ezekiel Wenje recently told The East African that he plans on submitting a anti-gay bill outlawing “gay recruitment” in his country.

The East African reports: Mr. Wenje said homosexuality is on the rise in Tanzania because the existing legislation does not provide a sufficient deterrent.

Under the current law, convicted suspects face custodial sentences ranging from 20 years to life imprisonment.

According to Section 154 of the Act, any person who has carnal knowledge of any person against the order of nature is liable to imprisonment for life.

But Wenje said the law does not cover those who induce others to become gays or those who promote the behavior.

He said there are many gays in Dar es Salaam who operate in the open, go to bars and social places, and that more young people are “choosing the lifestyle”.

Mr. Wenje is optimistic that his Bill will receive support from his colleagues and eventually get passed into law despite a predictable donor stance on the issue.

“We should not care about aid, we should care about our values and the future of the country,” he said when asked if passing of such law would not lead to donor’s freez-

ing aid like is happening in Uganda.

According to the book The Dictionary of Homophobia: Male homosexuality has been illegal in Tanzania since colonial times (Tanzania was a German colony from 1884 until World War I, then a British colony until independence was declared in 1961). Articles 154 to 157 of Tanzania’s penal code render all homosexual relations between men punishable… [though] (there is no mention of women).

Having said this, the law does not seem to be regularly applied, or if so, only erratically… And there is a burgeoning gay movement in the country; Community Peer Support Services (CPSS), an association for the defense of gays and lesbians, has been in existence since 1997 and currently has 334 members whom it trains to become activists. According to CPSS, the situation of gays and lesbians is better in Tanzania than in all its neighboring countries.

Though that would certainly change if this proposed bill becomes law. In 2012, a gay rights activist was murdered in Tanzania.

Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2xjt9DDTm

Gay Ugandan teen commits suicide over anti-gay law

By Joe Morgan on gaystarnews.com A Uganda gay teen has committed suicide over the homophobic law, it was reported on 7 April.

The young man, who we will call Denis, overdosed on pills and swallowed rat poison around a month ago.

For the past few weeks, he showed little signs of recovery as he slipped in and out of consciousness. He also lost his ability to speak.

On 3 April, Denis was pronounced dead. He was just 17 years old.

Pepe Julian Onziema, a Uganda LGBTI activist, paid tribute to Denis, saying he was “gone too soon”.

He told GSN Denis was the son of Muslim parents who consider homosexuals to be “proof of sin itself” and “not people”.

“This is the psychological effect of the anti-gay law,” Onziema said. “It is affecting young people the most.”

The Anti-Homosexuality Act, which was made law in February, punishes homosexuality with up to life in prison.

Promoting gay rights and refusing to report gay people to the police is also illegal.

Gay rights activists have said they have heard of at least 17 LGBTI people who have attempted to kill themselves over the law. It is unknown how many succeeded in their attempt.

Onziema called on Ugandan LGBTIs to keep safe and to seek help wherever they can, such as on social media.

“It makes me sad that my community is unsafe. It’s intentionally put at risk,” he said. “It’s like standing by the roadside and being pushed in front of a speeding car. That is what the president has done to us.”

See more at: http://www.gaystarnews. com/article/uganda-gay-teen-commitssuicide-over-anti-gay-law070414#sthash.

8uy72ROl.dpu

Uganda police raid HIV organization offices Last month Ugandan police raided the offices of the Makerere University Walter Reed Project building in Kampala for, according to a government spokesman, “training youths in homosexuality,” the AP reports.

Frank Mugisha, a leader of Sexual Minorities Uganda, said one person was arrested in (the April 3) raid. He said the project --a nonprofit partnership between a Ugandan university and the U.S. Military HIV Research Program -was known to offer services to gays who felt comfortable going there for anti-retro(Uganda continues page 12)

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Interview

Tristan Wright

By Susan Jordan Tristan Wright, 28, is the new Office Administrator for the Gay Alliance. He started part-time work in April and will begin working a 9-to-5 day this month.

Tristan grew up in Honeoye and went to RIT, where he majored in ASL interpretation. He worked as an interpreter for

page one (Panel continued from page 1) did not know of any language that would describe his feelings of attraction toward other boys his age until high school. “I didn’t really have a space to talk about that part of my identity,” Ward said.

Ward also noticed his white friends acting discriminatory toward other African American people with darker skin tones.

Though he reached a breaking point in college, Ward stated that later on he felt a responsibility to act as a positive voice for fellow gay people of color.

Similar feelings of difference, but lack of the terminology to describe it, were expressed across the panel. Panelist Wanda Martinez of the Veterans Administration grew up in a strict Catholic environment in Puerto Rico. After her mother discovered a love letter she had written to the winner of the Miss Universe pageant, Martinez was sent to the U.S. for treatment, and warned not to return home

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 478 • may 2014 RIT’s Department of Access Services.

Tristan will now be in charge of running the operations of the Gay Alliance office, on the fifth floor of the Auditorium Center, 875 E. Main St. He said, “I will make sure the office is up and running, so that staff can be free to go out and do workshops, presentations and so on.”

When asked why he wanted to work for the Gay Alliance, Tristan said, “It matches the work I’ve been doing. At RIT I was president of Outspoken for two years.”

One of at least five LGBTQ groups and resources at RIT, Outspoken is the major student government organization representing LGBTQ students.

The other queer student groups and resources include RITGA, the longestrunning gay student group on campus; Spectrum, the Deaf student organization that runs the annual Colorfest; Tangent, the networking group for trans* students only; Labrys Women’s Alliance for lesbians and queer women, and the Q Center, run

by Henry Hinesley, which is connected with the Center for Women and Gender, and provides services such as training for allies and a lounge for LGBTQ students and allies. “They all serve different needs of the diverse community,” Tristan said.

He added, “One thing I’m looking forward to doing is building a relationship with the Deaf community. I can open up easier collaborations. At RIT I found ways to encourage hearing students to interact with Deaf students. So that’s one of my priorities. For instance there should be opportunities for collaboration at Pride this summer, especially around the sporting events. You don’t have to know how to sign to enjoy watching a sport!” ■

until she was “fixed.” Once in the U.S., she learned of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley and began volunteering there. “They’ve been my family since day one, through good and bad,” Martinez said.

Baptist parents and a ballet instructor were disapproving of panelist Dontaee Williamson’s childhood desire to perform wearing a tutu during ballet class. The pressure to conform was so great in the small Connecticut town that Williamson wanted to “go back into the closet due to religious issues.” But with encouragement from a friend, Williamson became active in the Gay Straight Alliance in middle and high school. Williamson now defines as “gender queer,” not wanting to be categorized as belonging to one gender or another.

As a young boy, panelist Dee Nepomuceno-Murray, a transgender woman from the Philippines, was classified as “bakla,” a generalized umbrella term for “gay.” There was no specific term for “transgender”.

Nepomuceno-Murray expressed concern that people may stereotype and assume that as an Asian transgender woman, she

only married a white American man to escape the Philippines and be used sexually. “I want to break down that wall,” the happily wed Nepomuceno-Murray said.

With the exception of Wanda Martinez, who stated she is “98 percent Catholic,” the other panelists choose not to adhere to one specific faith at this time.

They did agree, however, that the Church should focus on the love among people, not specific Biblical text that may condemn them.

“The biggest sin of the church is its selectivity in its use of scripture,” Moderator Dr. McMickle said. ■

local and state ( VA continued from page 3) adults. Since 1978, SAGE has pioneered social services, congregate services and community building programs that tangibly improve the quality of life for LGBT older people in New York State.

SAGE affiliate locations are also found across New York State, including Rochester, Hudson Valley and Syracuse.

The Rochester group, Rainbow SAGE, meets at Open Arms MCC, 707 E. Main St. See page 31 for the May calendar of events.

Faith-based coalition Rochester ACTS holds Covenant Celebration Rochester Alliance of Communities Transforming Society (ACTS) will hold a Covenant Celebration from 3–4 p.m. on Sunday, May 4, at Trinity Emmanuel Presbyterian Church, 793 Jefferson Ave. (between Shelter and Magnolia Streets).

Organizers say, “Several years in the making, a new faith based coalition seeking social and economic justice is about to be launched in Rochester. Affiliated with the Gamaliel Foundation, Rochester ACTS uses community organizing techniques to empower citizens to bring about systemic change in Monroe County.

“When President Barack Obama speaks about his experience as a community organizer, he is referring to his work for Gamaliel’s Chicago chapter.

“Please join us as we enter our next phase of organizing, bringing Gamaliel to Rochester.”

Rochester City Council, Mayor Warren protest Russian anti-gay laws April 10, 2014 The Honorable Igor L. Golubovskiy Consul General of the Russian Federation Consulate of the Russian Federation in New York, 9 East 91st Street, New York, NY 10128 Re: Concern Over Anti-Gay Legislation Dear Consul General Golubovskiy: We are writing you to express our concern regarding recent legislative efforts – some signed into law and others under consideration by the Duma – that vilify and criminalize Russian citizens who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender (LGBT). We support Russia’s turn toward democracy, and believe that a democracy cannot discriminate, but must be ever more accepting of the differences among its citizenry.

We believe that restrictive laws concerning sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression do not promote “traditional values,” but rather bring harm to communities. A recent letter penned by the Council for Global Equality discussed the consequences of recent anti-gay legislation enacted by the Duma noting the distressing limitations it created, which: “…restricts public gatherings; classifies as “foreign agents” those who receive funding from abroad; denies orphaned and abandoned children the

opportunity to be brought up in families by individuals with the commitment, the resources, and the love needed to raise them; and makes it a crime to speak openly or provide information about homosexuality.”

We are further distressed by the Ordinance No. 273-70 enacted in March 2012 by the Legislative Assembly of St. Petersburg that draws comparisons between homosexuality and pedophilia.

Consensual loving relationships between same-sex individuals are not and are in no way similar to the horrific acts committed by pedophiles.

Proponents of anti-gay laws often indicate that these laws are created to “protect children”; we firmly believe that these laws are not protective, but rather alienate children and families with LGBT identities. The City of Rochester has been a leader advocating for the rights and freedoms of LGBT people, and we encourage the Russian Federation to reconsider the steps taken against LGBT individuals, to promote the equality of people in Russia Thank You, Lovely A. Warren, Mayor Loretta C. Scott, President Elaine M. Spaull, Vice President Councilmembers Dana K. Miller Adam C. McFadden Carolee A. Conklin Carla M. Palumbo Matt Haag Jackie Ortiz Michael A. Patterson

Ithaca trans student harassed; ESPA calls for GENDA passage An Ithaca high school senior who says he was harassed for being transgender filed a complaint with the U.S. Department of Education’s Office of Civil Rights. In response, Empire State Pride Agenda Executive Director Nathan M. Schaefer issued the following statement calling for the passage of the Gender Expression Non-Discrimination Act (GENDA): Kaleb Carthen was trying to get a head start on his higher education when he became a victim of continuous harassment and discrimination from staff at his program and his internship.

Thankfully for him, he lives in Tompkins County, one of the nine localities in New York State that have local ordinances protecting residents from discrimination on the basis of gender identity or expression. Had he lived in another part of New York, he may not have had such protections.

This underscores the shameful lack of a statewide law protecting the rights of transgender people, Schaefer said. If Kaleb had attended classes at programs in neighboring counties he would have had little recourse.

“We commend Kaleb for standing up for his rights, and the rights of all transgender people. His experience points both to the real necessity for non-discrimination laws that protect transgender and gender non-conforming New Yorkers, as well as to their effectiveness,” Schazefer noted.

“It is clear that this patchwork of protections does not work. We call on Governor Andrew Cuomo and the State Legislature to act now and pass GENDA this session. No New Yorker should fear getting evicted from their home or fired from their job because of who they are.

18 other states, plus the District of Colombia and Puerto Rico – more than a third of the states in the union – have already passed protections for transgender residents. Legislators on both sides of the aisle in New York have also publicly expressed support for the passage of GENDA. ■

may 2014 • number 478 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

PFLAG meets the 3rd Sunday of each month Meetings are at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church, 707 E. Main St., Rochester, NY 14605 from 1 to 3pm. Questions?

Call: 585-244-8640 and leave a message, or e-mail: pflag@gayalliance.org Join us!

(585) 880-1184

Located in Village Gate Square right next to Outlandish!

HOURS

Wednesday–Thursday 1-6pm Friday–Saturday 1-8pm Sunday 1-6pm

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the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 478 • may 2014

Jason Klaum, Stylist 585.732.7676 90 Canal Street, Suite 308 Rochester 14608

Make Rochester Green and support the Gay Alliance with Broccolo Garden Center’s “Goodness Grows” Program.

On May 17th and 18th Broccolo Garden Center will donate 10% of your purchase to the Gay Alliance when you present this coupon at check out.

2755 Penfield Road Fairport NY 14450

may 2014 • number 478 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

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the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 478 • may 2014

Making the Scene

Chastity Dee

Poison Waters

PROM PROMO: Mercedes Sulay, Miss Gay Rochester, performs at the benefit for the Gay Alliance Youth Big Gay Prom, at 104 Alex on March 30. The benefit raised around $1500. The “‘80s Zombie Prom” is May 3 (see Youth Update, page 30). Photos: Jill Frier

DeeLicious

My Own Private Rochester: Sherlea Dony

By Susan Jordan Sherlea Dony is a Rochester native who currently lives in Irondequoit with her partner Nan Fry and their cat Bailey and dog Maya. She is self-employed with two businesses – American Sign Language interpretation and copy-editing.

But she says, “I’m trying to retire – my bucket list is long!”

Her obsession nowadays is African hand drumming, which she has done for a year. She is becoming a teacher, learning specific African rhythms and how to lead people into rhythm. She is involved with three area drumming groups: WNY Community Drum Circles, Open Drum Circle of Rochester NY and LORA’s drum circle, which is in the process of being organized.

When a friend of Sherlea’s moved, she sold her a djembe, a kind of African drum. “It wasn’t in my bucket list, but my unconscious life plan!” she laughs. “It’s very spiritual to me and very therapeutic.

I like the collective sound and the connection with other drummers.”

Sherlea’s favorite organization (national) is NORML, the National Organization for Reform of Marijuana Laws. She said, “I no longer smoke but I’ll always be an old stoner, and I never dreamed it would become legal in my lifetime.”

She has also been involved in volunteering as an ASL interpreter at hospices,

Destiny Spice

but had to stop because her work demands were so unpredictable. But, she says, “I will return when I retire in about three years.”

Her favorite places include the lakeshore. “I live almost on the lake,” she said, “and especially like the intersection of the lake and the river. I go to Durand Eastman Park a lot, and also Highland Park – but not the Lilac Festival because I abhor crowds!”

Jine’s is her favorite restaurant. “My partner Nan and I like their huge menu.

We also go to Summerville Grill, just down the block from where we live.”

Sherlea and Nan are also supporters of the Zoo; her favorite animals are the meerkats.

Sherlea likes to spend time with family and friends around her backyard pool in summer. An ideal Saturday night would include dinner out and playing euchre with friends. “At 63 I’m not a bar person anymore,” she says.

If she is showing visiting friends around town, she takes them to see the Corn Hill neighborhood and the local Underground Railroad sites, where escaped slaves were hidden on their way to freedom in Canada. The High Falls area would also be on the itinerary.

About Rochester, Sherlea comments, “I haven’t lived anyplace else. From the time I came out in 1974, to where we are now – we’ve come a long way, but still have a long way to go.” ■ Sherlea Dony in Highland Park with her djembe. Photo: Susan Jordan

may 2014 • number 478 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

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PRIDE AGENDA FORUM: Left: The Empire State Pride Agenda held a forum on GENDA and other pending Albany legislation on April 9 at Downtown United Presbyterian Church.

Story on page 1. Center: NYS Sen. Ted O’Brien. Right: NYS Assembly member Harry Bronson. Photos: Lorraine Woerner-McGowan.

STAND AGAINST RACISM: YWCA’s Stand Against Racism events in April included the panel on Intersectionality Between Racism and LGBTQ Identities, held April 7 at Open Arms MCC. Left: Panel members Dee Nepomuceno-Murray, Dontaee Williamson and Wanda Martinez (not seen: Jasan Ward of MOCHA Center). Story on page 1. Photos: Jill Frier

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national and international (Uganda from page 5) viral treatment.

Police spokesman Patrick Onyango denied the raid, saying a man pretending to represent the police threatened workers at the project, which has since been closed by administrators.

The raid was confirmed by an LGBT activist on the ground in Uganda.

Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2xwFKAg2p The U.S. State Department has responded by suspending the program: “We are deeply concerned that a U.S.funded health clinic and medical research facility, the Makerere University Walter Reed Project (MUWRP), was raided by Ugandan authorities on April 3, leading to the arrest of one of the facility’s employees, allegedly for conducting ‘unethical research’ and ‘recruiting homosexuals’.

While that individual was subsequently released, this incident significantly heightens our concerns about respect for civil society and the rule of law in Uganda, and for the safety of LGBT individuals.

“The MUWRP is engaged in efforts to improve public health and save lives.

The Ugandan government is responsible for protecting all of its people, and attacks and intimidation of health care workers are unacceptable. The safety of health workers must be respected. We have temporarily suspended the operations of MUWRP to ensure the safety of staff and beneficiaries, and the integrity of the program.”

This suspension comes just three weeks after the Obama Administration announced an increase in military advisers, special forces and aircraft to Uganda to aid in its battle against the insurgency led by Joseph Kony and his Lord’s Liberation Army.

-Box Turtle Bulletin

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 478 • may 2014

Social Security updates trans eligibility rules

By Parker Marie Molloy on The Advocate In early April, the Social Security Administration issued updated guidelines regarding the eligibility of transgender individuals for survivor’s benefits.

This new policy comes in the wake of a case involving 92-year-old transgender World War II veteran Robina Asti, who, in spite of being legally married to her husband Norwood, was denied spousal benefits after his death.

Under the previous policy, all cases involving transgender individuals’ marriage-based claims were put through an extra level of scrutiny, and were sent to the SSA’s Regional Chief Counsel for review. Now, transgender individuals will no longer be subject to that increased level of review, and will be processed the same as claims from cisgender (nontrans) individuals.

In Asti’s case, despite being legally recognized as female for more than three decades, the SSA determined that she was “legally male” at the time of her marriage to Norwood Patton in 2004, disqualifying her from receiving survivor benefits following his death in 2012. In February, the SSA quietly reversed that decision after public pressure and efforts of Lambda Legal, and began sending Asti the checks owed to her.

The core position expressed in the SSA’s new standard is that gender transition does not affect the legal validity of a marriage. Whether one was married prior to gender transition or after, the SSA will no longer make transgender individuals endure a heightened review process.

There are still seven states where the SSA will conduct additional legal review: Florida, Idaho, Kansas, Ohio, Oklahoma, Tennessee, and Texas. This is due to a belief by the SSA that state marriage laws regarding transgender individuals are unclear, making the existing case-by-case

review process necessary.

“Transgender marriages are no longer treated as suspect in the eyes of the SSA,” Lambda Legal Transgender Rights Project Director Dru Levasseur said in a written statement. “The content and tone of the new guidance shows that the SSA has taken a big step forward in cultural competency about the transgender community. This important federal agency is providing greater dignity and demonstrating greater respect for transgender people. Today’s announcement removes many hurdles that transgender people had to overcome when they filed claims for spousal benefits. We hope no one has to ever again endure the disrespect that Ms. Asti experienced.”

The new guidelines can be read in full at the SSA website.

Federal judge rules sex discrimination includes LGBTQ people

By Andrew Potts on gaystarnews.com US District Court Judge Colleen Kollar-Kotelly has ruled that federal laws prohibiting sex discrimination in the workplace also cover sexual identity in a gay man’s workplace discrimination case against the US Library of Congress.

Peter TerVeer decided to sue the library because he says he was the subject of a campaign of harassment after his boss, John Mech, found out that he was gay.

TerVeer claims Mech had created a hostile work environment in which he imposed his “religion and sexual stereotypes” on him. TerVeer complained to Mech’s superior and says Mech then gave him negative performance reviews as part of a campaign of retaliation against him.

His lawyers successfully argued that his boss had discriminated against him because his sexual orientation conflicted with his boss’ views on “acceptable gender roles”.

“Plaintiff has alleged that he is ‘a

homosexual male whose sexual orientation is not consistent with the Defendant’s perception of acceptable gender roles,’ that his ‘status as a homosexual male did not conform to the Defendant’s gender stereotypes associated with men under Mech’s supervision or at the LOC,’ and that ‘his orientation as homosexual had removed him from Mech’s preconceived definition of male,’” Judge Kollar-Kotelly wrote in her judgement.

“As Plaintiff has alleged that Defendant denied him promotions and created a hostile work environment because of Plaintiff’s nonconformity with male sex stereotypes, Plaintiff has met his burden of setting forth a short and plain statement of the claim showing that the pleader is entitled to relief as required by Federal Rule of Civil Procedure 8(a).

“Accordingly, the Court denies Defendant’s Motion to Dismiss Plaintiff’s sex discrimination claim (Count I) for failure to state a claim.”

Judge Kollar-Kotelly’s decision does not mean TerVeer’s legal battle is over – only that it can proceed – but it could set an important legal precedent if the case is eventually heard by the Supreme Court of the United States.

- See more at: http://www.gaystarnews. com/article/us-federal-judge-rules-sexdiscrimination-can-include-discrimination-against-lgbti-people040#sthash. uRAMMZu0.dpuf

LOGO apologizes for RuPaul’s trans slurs After weeks of pressure from trans advocates and allies over its use of transphobic slurs like “tr**ny” and she-male,” RuPaul’s Drag Race and the LOGO network are finally stepping up to the plate and pledging to make some major changes.

In a statement to the Huffington Post, LOGO writes: “We wanted to thank the community

may 2014 • number 478 • the gay alliance • the empty closet for sharing their concerns around a recent segment and the use of the term ‘she-mail’ on Drag Race.

“Logo has pulled the episode from all of our platforms and that challenge will not appear again.

“Furthermore, we are removing the ‘You’ve got she-mail’ intro from new episodes of the series.

“We did not intend to cause any offense, but in retrospect we realize that it was insensitive. We sincerely apologize.”

Read more at http://www.bilerico.com/2014/04/rupauls_drag_ race_finally_pulls_transphobic_slur. php#uWYLkLa0cIM06uyK.99

Hundreds drive picketing Westboro Church members from Oklahoma town The Westboro Baptist Church, infamous for its funeral protests against gay rights, came to Moore, Oklahoma on the afternoon of April 6 to picket in front of Plaza Towers Elementary School, saying that God sent a deadly tornado last year in retribution for America’s tolerance of gay people.

The 2013 tornado killed 24 people.

Hundreds of people came to counterprotest the church, and things almost turned violent as several residents tried to cross the street and were challenged by police officers before the WBC church members turned tail and ran.

WBC had a permit for a 30-minute picket, but it lasted eight minutes, according to local media.

After Westboro members fled, a woman leading the counter-protest reprimanded several members of the crowd for threatening to take matters into their own hands, asserting that the purpose of the counterprotest was to raise money for the school so that the kids could buy computers.

Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2yCnYMluS

Illinois rejects bill to protect LGBTQ youth

By Andrew Potts on gaystarnews.com A bill that would have ended attempts to “cure” gay and lesbian youth of their sexual orientations in Illinois has failed despite Democrats holding a majority in the state House of Representatives.

54 state representatives voted against the bill while only 44 representatives voted for it. There are 108 seats in the Illinois House of Representatives and 71 of those are held by Democrats.

House Bill 5569, also known as the Youth Mental Health Protection Act, was sponsored by openly lesbian Democratic Chicago Representative Kelly Cassidy and stated “being lesbian, gay, or bisexual is not a disease, disorder, illness, deficiency, or shortcoming.”

“Illinois has a compelling interest in protecting the physical and psychological well-being of minors, including lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth, and in protecting its minors against exposure to serious harms caused by sexual orientation change efforts,” the bill read.

The bill would have given Illinois’ Department of Professional Regulation the power to deregister so-called “ex-gay” therapists by mandating that “Any sexual orientation change efforts attempted on a person under the age of 18 by a mental health provider or any referral made by a mental health provider to a third party practicing sexual orientation change efforts shall be considered unprofessional conduct.”

However the bill’s opponents said the issue fell outside lawmakers field of expertise. “This is stuff that we should not be legislating on at all,” Republican Representative Jeanne Ives said according to The New American. “We have no purview in this department. We have no expertise in this department. It’s absolutely something that should not ever be legislated on. Let people decide for themselves

what they need to have for themselves.”

If the bill had passed Illinois would have joined California and New Jersey as states that ban so-called “reparative therapies” aimed at changing sexual orientation in minors.

- See more at: http://www.gaystarnews. com/article/bill-ban-%E2%80%98exgay%E2%80%99-therapies-minorsvoted-down-illinois160414#sthash.

OJWke2vU.dpuf

Trans 100 releases 2014 list of honorees

By Parker Marie Molloy on The Advocate On April 8, the 2014 Trans 100 list was made available to the public for the first time. First announced at a Chicago event March 30, the list highlights the work of trans activists, writers, media personalities, filmmakers, musicians, athletes, lawyers, doctors, and a host of other careers.

“I wish to reiterate again that the Trans 100 is not a ‘Top 100,’ ‘Best Of,’ or even the result of straight voting by the public or volunteers,” Trans 100 co-director Jen Richards writes in the list’s foreword. “It is an intentionally curated list of out trans people who are working on trans issues in the United States and having a positive impact. We do not claim to be anything more than this.”

The list was compiled by a collection of anonymous trans curators charged with the task of evaluating names received through a public nomination process.

Honorees are selected on the basis of “doing work that has daily life impact in the service to the Trans Community, with special focus on the areas of ostracism elimination, stigma reduction, poverty reduction, furthering the social and economic development of the Trans Community, and building infrastructure within the Trans Community”.

Among those honored include household names like Matrix writer/director

13 Lana Wachowski, Against Me! frontwoman Laura Jane Grace, RuPaul’s Drag Race alum Carmen Carrera, activist CeCe McDonald, and mixed martial arts athletle Fallon Fox. Additionally, the list highlights the work of lesser-known individuals like filmmaker Tobi Hill-Meyer, youth outreach activist Precious Davis, GLAAD media strategist Tiq Milan, trans military advocate Brynn Tannehill, TransWorks coordinator Angelica Ross, and Original Plumbing founding editor Amos Mac, among many others.

Full disclosure: The writer of this piece, Parker Marie Molloy, was also among those named to the 2014 Trans 100. Molloy freelances for The Advocate as the outlet’s trans issues correspondent.

UN condemns Brunei’s death-by-stoning law Last month Brunei, an absolute monarchy rich on oil money, instituted a set of brutal Sharia laws that demand death by stoning for homosexual acts, adultery, rape, murder, and for declaring oneself to be a non-Muslim.

The United Nations condemned the coming laws on April 16.

“Application of the death penalty for such a broad range of offenses contravenes international law,” said Rupert Colville, spokesperson for the Office of the UN High Commissioner for Human Rights (OHCHR).

Rape, adultery, sodomy, extramarital sexual relations for Muslims, insulting any verses of the Quran and Hadith, blasphemy, declaring oneself a prophet or non-Muslim, and murder are the other offences for which the death penalty could be applied under the revised code.

Noting that Brunei has maintained an effective moratorium on the use of the death penalty since 1957, OHCHR urged the government to establish a formal moratorium and to work towards abolishing (Brunei continues page 14)

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national and international (Brunei from page 13) the practice altogether.

“Under international law, stoning people to death constitutes torture or other cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment and is thus clearly prohibited,” Mr. Colville stated.

Brunei gained independence from Britain in 1984. With a population of just over 400K, last year the International Monetary Fund ranked Brunei as the fifth-wealthiest nation in the world based on GDP per capita. The United States ranked sixth.

-pinknews, JoeMyGod.com

Miss. legislature passes bill allowing discrimination on grounds of “religious freedom” The Mississippi legislature passed a controversial law April 1 that could open the door to discrimination against any group based on religious objections (presumably only the Christian religion). The law will go into effect on July 1.

Despite claims to the contrary by the bill’s backers, a local Christian group made it very clear who the bill is intended to target. From their open threat made to balking GOP members of the Mississippi House: “The Christian Action Commission will work diligently to ensure the blame will be laid at the feet of these 20 alleged Republicans. Approximately 60,000 Baptist households will read about it and know the truth. Our state passed the Defense of Marriage Act by the widest margin of any state.” –JoeMyGod.com “We remain hopeful that courts throughout the state will reject any attempts to use religion to justify discrimination,” said Jennifer Riley-Collins, executive director of the ACLU of Mississippi. “Nobody should be refused service because of who they are.”

The law could allow individuals and businesses to bring challenges against what they view as substantial government burdens against religion, including challenging existing nondiscrimination laws.

Legislatures across the country, including in Georgia, Idaho, Maine, and Ohio, have rejected similar measures. On February 26, 2014, Governor Jan Brewer vetoed Arizona’s version. Bills are still pending in Missouri and Oklahoma.

BACKGROUND: Mississippi Governor Phil Bryant has signed the “Religious Freedom Restoration Act” into law, WLOX reports: Members and supporters of the LGBT community are concerned the bill will open the door to discrimination against gay people and other groups. Opponents of the bill say the discrimination could also be directed towards ethnic minorities and other religious groups.

Hate groups rejoice Supporters claim the bill mirrors the federal Religious Freedom Restoration Act that was signed into law by President Bill Clinton in 1993.

Said Bryant: “I am proud to sign the Mississippi Religious Freedom Restoration Act today, which will protect the individual religious freedoms of Mississippians of all faiths from government interference. Mississippi has now joined 18 other states to defend religious freedoms on a state level.”

Hate group leader Tony Perkins was delighted to be asked to witness the signing of the bill. “I had the honor of joining Mississippi Governor Phil Bryant (R) at the signing of SB2681 -- the state’s Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA) and had the opportunity to thank him first-hand -- and others who were instrumental in passing the bill -- for their tremendous leadership in defending religious liberty. Unfortunately, political courage is in short supply these days. That’s never

been more obvious than these last few weeks, when the opposition launches massive misinformation campaigns. Too many ‘leaders’ tuck tail and run, instead of standing their ground and learning the facts. Some things are worth fighting for -- and religious freedom, the ability to live out our faith in every aspect of our lives, is at the top of that list. There is absolutely no aspect of our lives that should be beyond the guiding light of Scripture -- a truth the Founding Fathers not only understood, but also felt obligated to defend.”

Background: In reality the Founding Fathers built separation of church and state safeguards into the constitution to prevent exactly this type of political repression.

“Jesus wants discrimination” Jimmy Porter, executive director of the lobbying arm of Mississippi’s Southern Baptist convention, the Christian Action Commission, was sure to set any doubters straight, promising a “political calamity” should any of them vote against Jesus.

Said Porter in part, “The fact is that one’s position on this piece of legislation can be made public whether a vote is taken or not. The leadership of the House will take a lot of heat for its failure if that is the case but it will be undeserved. The Christian Action Commission will work diligently to ensure the blame will be laid at the feet of these 20 alleged Republicans [against the bill]. Approximately 60,000 Baptist households will read about it and know the truth. Add to that Pentecostal households, members of the Tea Party, followers of American Family Association, the Liberty Council and the Family Research Council, etc., and you begin to see the widespread interest in this bill.”

Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2xvINy5lZ The bill’s language reads: “A person whose religious exercise has been burdened in violation of this section may assert that violation as a claim or defense in a judicial proceeding and obtain appropriate relief against the government ... This section applies to all state laws, rules, regulations and any municipal or county ordinances, rules or regulations and the implementation of those laws, whether statutory or otherwise, and whether adopted before or after the enactment of this section.”

GetEQUAL released a statement: “Today is a sad day for Mississippi and a sad day for the country. Earlier today, Mississippi Governor Phil Bryant signed the Religious Freedom Restoration Act -- a hate-filled bill that asserts both the moral and legal superiority of anti-LGBT Christians over and above everyone else.

“We had hoped that the governor would see that this bill will further isolate Mississippi within the business community. We had hoped that the governor would see that this bill will hurt those who live in the state or who are considering moving there. We had hoped that the governor would see that this bill will, in fact, hurt his own family and people who he loves.

We had hoped that the ‘family values’ that the governor espouses would hold true and that he would act in a way that fully values his own family. Unfortunately, hatred and ignorance won out today -and our hearts are with those fair-minded Mississippians who call the state home.”

ACLU statement “Even though the Mississippi legisla-

ture removed some of the egregious language from Arizona’s infamous SB 1062, we are disappointed that it passed this unnecessary law and ignored the national, public outcry against laws of this nature,” said Eunice Rho, advocacy and policy counsel with the ACLU. “We will continue to fight in state legislatures across the country to ensure that religious freedom remains a shield, not a sword.”

Human Rights Campaign statement Human Rights Campaign (HRC) State Legislative Director Sarah Warbelow issued the following statement: “While there were many efforts to correct the clearly problematic elements of this legislation, the bill still has the effect of making LGBT people strangers to the law.

Before Mississippi has had the opportunity to robustly discuss the lived experiences of LGBT people, this bill would hollow out any non-discrimination protections at the local level or possible future state-wide protections. Just as we’ve seen in other states, this bill is bad for business, bad for the state’s reputation, and most of all, bad for Mississippians. Governor Bryant must veto the measure.”

It is possible that the law could undermine future state and local non-discrimination laws protecting LGBT individuals; interfere with licensing organizations that have professional regulations protecting

LGBT individuals; undermine public university non-discrimination policies that include classes of people who lack federal protections; allow pharmacists to refuse to provide HIV and hormone replacement therapy drugs; permit restaurants, inns/ hotels to potentially turn away same-sex couples celebrating an anniversary, adoption or pregnancy; permit wedding garment shops, bakeries, photo studios, and reception halls to close their doors to samesex couples planning their weddings.

LGBT Bar Association to track discrimination The National LGBT Bar Association announced April 11 that it has launched an online reporting tool to combat Mississippi’s so-called “Religious Freedom Restoration Act.” “The Bar is taking the first step in combating this prejudicial law,” said D’Arcy Kemnitz, executive director of The LGBT Bar. “By partnering with our law student members to document instances of discrimination, we will understand the real-world impact of the law and be better equipped to advocate for the LGBT community.”

The LGBT Bar is working with local law student OUTlaw groups to gather personal instances in which LGBT individuals have experienced discrimination due to the new legislation. Individuals are encouraged to log onto LGBTBar. org/what-we-do/programs/MS and report their experience. The Bar and OUTlaw will document those stories, and provide information on next steps, when appropriate.

See Opinion, page 15

British trans groups give politicians their list of demands for equity

By Joe Morgan on gaystarnews.com British trans groups and individuals have joined together to tell politicians (British trans continues page 16)

may 2014 • number 478 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

15

Opinion For American gays, segregation returns to Mississippi

By David Mixner While it seems like all of America rose up to oppose Arizona’s attempt to use “faith” as a reason to deny LGBT Americans public accommodations, Mississippi has just passed a very similar, if not tougher law that the Governor has signed. The quiet across America has been deafening.

Maybe it is because activists knew we had a chance in Arizona and almost no chance to stop it in Mississippi.

Actually the LGBT community and our allies seem more upset about a CEO and his $1,000 contribution against marriage than this new law.

Given its history, maybe it is appropriate that Mississippi become the first state to reinstate a form of segregation.

Am I being too tough in using the word segregation? Am I dishonoring the efforts to end such a plague in the 1960s?

Absolutely not.

When anyone can deny me the right to eat in a restaurant or sleep in a hotel because I am an LGBT American then that is segregation.

Now if I should travel to the Magnolia State, I will have to figure out where I can do business, where I can sleep and if I will be denied service in a particular restaurant.

What if a plumber won’t fix a flooding home? How about a contractor refusing to build an LGBT couple a house?

Can a person selling insurance refuse to

sell LGBT Mississippians a policy? If an LGBT couple lives in a small Mississippi town, can all the businesses refuse them service based on faith?

Any American who cares about their fellow LGBT citizens must take a stand.

No company or organization should hold a convention or conference in the state.

I hear the beaches in Northern Florida are spectacular, which are just a short distance from Mississippi’s Gulf Coast. Want to gamble? There are so many other choices. Listen to the “Blues”? Hell, head to St. Louis or Kansas City, and the barbeque is excellent in both those cities.

For LGBT Americans, the choice is clear.

As long as this new system of segregation is on the books in Mississippi, we must fight it day in and day out. There is no question that our national legal organizations will oppose it. If LGBT people are actually denied service anywhere in the Magnolia State, a plan of civil disobedience has to be considered as a viable option.

Count on right-wing Republicans to attempt to pass the same law in other states in the name of religious freedom. In the 1960s, most of the white churches of the South used their faith as a reason to oppress African-Americans.

It was unacceptable then and it is unacceptable now.

America must come down hard on these laws now or we could be living with them in a number of states for years to come.

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the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 478 • may 2014

national and international (British trans from page 14) their top two demands in a new manifesto.

They have told all UK political parties to include specific policies promoting trans equality.

This is believed to be the first time all of these groups have joined together to have a point of view on policy in the UK. “Now is the time to raise trans rights as a cross-party political issue which needs government support,” Paul Roberts, LGBT Consortium chief executive, said.

The demands are to review the Gender Recognition Act (GRA), which became law 10 years ago and to encourage positive images of trans individuals in all Central Government publications.

They have also called on politicians to send out these messages: regard trans individuals as equal citizens with equal rights; empower trans individuals to be authorities on all aspects of their own lives and encourage diverse, representative, realistic and positive portrayals of trans individuals.

Regarding the GRA, they specifically wish the spousal veto – that allows a trans person’s partner to decide whether they get permission for a gender recognition certificate – to be removed. The trans lobby also wants medical requirements to be looser.

Helen Belcher, a director of Trans Media Watch and one of the drivers behind the initiative, said, “The huge level of support for this within the trans communities, and society’s growing understanding of the issues that face trans people, mean that we should expect continuing improvements in the way that trans people are treated.

“My discussions with MPs and peers from all parties indicate there is support for this innovative approach.”

The trans manifesto was developed as a collaboration of groups from across the UK, including Scottish Transgender Alliance, Gendered Intelligence and National Trans Police Association.

- See more at: http://www.gaystarnews. com/article/trans-brits-give-politicianstheir-top-two-demands030414#sthash. gLxsGj8g.dpuf

Joy erupts in Malta after civil unions, trans rights become legal Heavily Catholic Malta passed an historic bill on April 14 legalizing gay civil unions and gay adoptions and recognizing transgender civil rights.

The Times of Malta reports: There was an explosion of cheers in Palace Square as the vote was taken: 37 in favor and 30 abstentions. The façade of the palace was lit in the rainbow colors.

The opposition abstained from voting because of hesitation about gay adoptions.

A huge crowd celebrated in Malta after the rights bill was passed.

The controversial law on civil unions was approved by Parliament this evening amid loud cheers and celebrations by about 1,000 people who gathered on Palace Square. The bill puts gay partnerships on a par with marriage. Opposition leader Simon Busuttil said before the final vote that although the Opposition agreed with civil unions, it had reservations regarding child adoptions by gay couples and felt this issue deserved more study.

Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2z3S4Za00

Brunei delays death by stoning for gays, but “it will happen”

By Joe Morgan on gaystarnews.com Brunei has said it has delayed a law punishing gay sex by stoning, but said it will happen “in the very near future”.

The predominantly Muslim nation of southeast Asia has faced international criticism after adopting a new penal code calling for death by stoning for several crimes.

This includes homosexuality, adultery, rape, and declaring oneself to be nonMuslim.

The implementation of the harsh Islamic punishments was due to begin 22 April.

No confirmed new date was given for the start of the punishments, which will also eventually include flogging and the severing of limbs.

Jauyah Zaini, assistant director of Brunei’s Islamic Legal Unit, was quoted by the Brunei Times as saying implementation had been delayed “due to unavoidable circumstances”. He did not elaborate nor give a new date.

But officials have told the AFP that once Sultan Hassanal, who is currently on a trip to Singapore, has returned then the penal code will begin to be introduced.

RELATED: An LGBTQ donors group has canceled its conference reservations at L.A.’s Beverly Hills Hotel, which is owned by the Sultan of Brunei.

- See more at: http://www.gaystarnews.

com/article/brunei-delays-punishing-gaysex-death-stoning220414#sthash.wjkTi92U.dpuf

NCAA’s Derrick Gordon urges pro athletes to come out now “Don’t wait. Take advantage of everything that you have in front of you. Don’t wait because you’re scared. Don’t wait until you’re 35 or 40-years-old and done playing the sport that you love. Because it’s stressful to live that way. I cried most of the nights when I was in the closet just because it starts to take a toll on you just because you’re worried about how people are going to think about you and what they’re going to say about you. Take advantage of it now. It’s going to make your life so much easier.”

- Recently out NCAA basketball player Derrick Gordon, speaking on Michelangelo Signorile’s SiriusXM show.

India Supreme Court recognizes trans (hijra) as third gender In what is being hailed as a landmark ruling, the Indian Supreme Court has recognized transgender people as a third gender. Via the BBC: “It is the right of every human being to choose their gender,” it said in granting rights to those who identify themselves as neither male nor female. It ordered the government to provide transgender people with quotas in jobs and education

in line with other minorities, as well as key amenities. According to one estimate, India has about two million transgender people. In India, a common term used to describe transgender people, transsexuals, cross-dressers, eunuchs and transvestites is hijra. Campaigners say they live on the fringes of society, often in poverty, ostracised because of their gender identity. Most make a living by singing and dancing or by begging and prostitution.

Rights groups say they often face huge discrimination and that sometimes hospitals refuse to admit them. They have been forced to choose either male or female as their gender in most public spheres.”

The BBC notes that India is the third nation to recognize a third gender. Nepal did so in 2009 and Bangladesh followed last year. The Times Of India has more: “The apex court also said states and the Centre will devise social welfare schemes for third gender community and run a public awareness campaign to erase social stigma. The SC said the states must construct special public toilets and departments to look into their special medical issues. The SC also added that if a person surgically changes his/her sex, then he or she is entitled to her changed sex and cannot be discriminated. The apex court expressed concern over transgenders being harassed and discriminated in the society and passed a slew of directions for their social welfare. The apex court said that transgenders were respected earlier in the society but situation has changed and they now face discrimination and harassment.

It said that section 377 of IPC is being misused by police and other authorities against them and their social and economic condition is far from satisfactory.”

BACKGROUND: Homosexuality is still illegal in India. The government may now re-assess that law. ■

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may 2014 • number 478 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

LGBTQ Living

Anne Tischer and Bess Watts are married in 2004 in Washington Square Park by Rev. Jim Mulcahy.

Weddings

By Susan Jordan Three years have passed since New York State made marriage equality a reality. Seventeen states and the District of Columbia now permit same sex marriage, while several other states have civil union and domestic partner laws. Last month, Utah’s and Oklahoma’s appeals against marriage equality were heard by the US 10th Circuit Court of Appeals, based in Denver.

On May 13 the 4th Circuit Court, based in Richmond, Va., will hear oral arguments in an appeal of another federal district court ruling that ordered the State of Virginia to allow same-sex couples to marry and to recognize out-of-state same-sex marriages. A US District judge in Ohio ruled in April that the state must recognize legal marriages performed elsewhere.

The Sixth Circuit has marriage equality appeals pending in all four of the states in the circuit –– Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky, and Tennessee. In summary, there currently are 65 pending lawsuits (43 in federal court, nine of which are on appeal, and 22 in state courts, five of which are on appeal and 11 of which raise federal claims), involving how the marriage laws of 30 states and Puerto Rico apply to same-sex couples. The only states that do not currently provide marriage equality in which there is no pending litigation at present are Alaska, Montana, North

Dakota, and South Dakota, and a lesbian couple plans to challenge South Dakota ban.

The times are definitely changing.

In this issue The Empty Closet talks to four couples, the first being Anne Tischer and Bess Watts, lesbian activists who married (illegally) in 2004 in Washington Square Park, much to the fascination of Rochester media, and who have since continued their political work on marriage equality and other issues. What do they make of all the changes our society has seen since they first married a decade ago?

The EC also spoke with Noah Wagoner and Shimona Gorelick, who plan to be married in June; Jonathan Wetherbee and Matthew Krueger, who plan to marry at Thanksgiving and Dan Rose and Levi Meyer, who have set a wedding date in 2015. What does the right to legal marriage mean to them?

Anne Tischer and Bess Watts Anne wrote, “What a difference ten years makes. April 29, 2004 was a beautiful spring day when Bess Watts and I were publicly married at Washington Square Park in an illegal ceremony conducted by our pastor, Reverend Jim Mulcahy of Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church.

“There were a dozen other clergy in attendance and every media outlet in Rochester showed up to cover this controversial curiosity – two lesbians marrying. This was the first

Jonathan Wetherbee and Matthew Krueger

foray into direct action for all of us and we were apprehensive. We expected confrontation and Rev Jim faced arrest.

“Consider the gloomy marriage equality landscape then.

The Hawaii Supreme Court in a surprise move ruled in 1993 that banning same-sex couples from marriage violated their state constitution. The flicker of hope that rippled through the LGBT community was soon smothered by the reactionary wave of states which changed their constitutions to prohibit same-sex marriage. The deadliest blow came from the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), which passed both houses of Congress by large, veto-proof majorities and was signed into law by Democratic President Bill Clinton in 1996. DOMA allowed states to refuse to recognize same-sex marriage granted under the laws of other states or other countries.

And it barred same-sex married couples from being recognized as spouses for purposes of federal laws and marriage benefits.

“You could get a civil union in Vermont as of 2000 and Ontario Province, Canada in 2003 had opened marriage to same-sex couples. The Massachusetts high court had ruled that banning same-sex couples was unconstitutional but gave their legislature six months time to change their constitution before implementation of their decision. On February 27, 2004 Mayor Jason West married 25 couples in New Paltz, NY and got arrested. Many NY

Noah Wagoner and Shimona Gorelick

17 court cases were filed but initial rulings said that there is no state constitutional right to same-sex marriage.

“It was a discouraging time and few people believed we would see marriage equality in our lifetime.

“Previous to our wedding Bess and I had anxiously headed to City Hall to ask for a marriage license we knew would be refused. There we received unexpected support from then City Clerk Carolee Conklin. ‘We’ve been waiting for you,’ she said as she handed us a file of all the marriage court cases already decided. ‘I can’t legally give you a marriage license but find a way to sue us… to sue me.’ We were stunned.

“The media swarmed on our wedding day – it felt like crews had come to our house to ‘film lesbians in their natural habitat’.

Interviewers seemed comically determined to cast us in heteronormative roles, asking ‘who takes out the garbage?’ and carefully noting that ‘Anne carried a bouquet while Bess wore a boutinere.’ There was no mention that this event was an effort to show that clergy of all kinds supported marriage equality… instead the wedding kiss between two women was the focal point.

We knew we were going to be on stage… but the unabashed curiosity surprised us.”

As Bess remembers the experience: “It seems like only yesterday. We were anxious but I mostly remember joy – we were getting married after all and were surrounded by friends. The big surprise was the outpouring of support from people we never imagined would approve our marrying. We purposely did not invite a lot of family and acquaintances lest we put them in an awkward position. Being honest, we wanted to avoid overt rejection ourselves. What a surprise when my boss made it possible for my co-workers to attend and came himself to videotape the event. Anne’s cousins and the Hispanic electrician I joked with at work expressed disappointment that they had not been invited to attend. Our elderly neighbors brought over a wedding gift and cards poured in.

“One of the most poignant moments was when a 90 year old social services client of Anne’s called the house to congratulate us. In the conversation that followed she shared that decades ago her brother had killed himself at 17 and she was sure it was because he was gay. She had never told anyone.

“Everything changed the day

we married. Previously we discreetly worked in the shadows to advance LGBT rights but suddenly it was game on for marriage equality. The cameras had outed all of us and we became activists devoted to creating visibility. Mentors, supporters and collaborators appeared as if by magic and we joined the growing tidal wave that has taken marriage equality to where it is today.

Anne and I are still in love after 20 years together… only today we are legally married and have the same recognition at the New York State and federal levels as a heterosexual couple. Our relationship, our home and our family are respected and protected. It is a new world.”

Noah Wagoner and Shimona Gorelick Noah, 26, will marry Shimona, 24, this June in the Thousand Islands, Noah’s home area.

Noah is a transman and marine fabricator, while Shimona, who is cisgendered, is an engineer.

They currently live in Henrietta.

The two met at the home of a mutual friend around four and a half years ago. Shimona said, “We were both thinking we’d be third wheels – but last July he proposed!”

Trans people don’t have equal civil rights in New York State, since they weren’t included in SONDA, the bill which gave LGB people equal civil rights, and the Republican and Conservative parties have so far blocked GENDA from being passed.

Complications often arise for trans people around proof of gender, like birth certificates and driver’s licenses. To what extent has Noah’s trans identity affected their marriage plans?

Shimona said, “It actually made it easier for us. There was a case before 2011 when a transgender couple in New York wanted to get married and tried to get a license at their town court, producing their driver’s licenses, which identified the trans partner as male. However, the clerk asked for birth certificates as well. So the couple had to go to court and the judge ruled that all you need to marry in New York is a driver’s license, not a birth certificate. So when I heard that, I thought, ‘we’re good’!”

Due to Noah’s large family, the couple plans a traditional ceremony. Shimona said, “It will be outdoors, right on the river.”

They have two cousins who will be marrying this August in California, so Noah and Shimona plan to attend both ceremonies as part of a “pretend honeymoon,” and during the week between weddings they

Dan Rose and Levi Meyer

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the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 478 • may 2014

will be driving down the California coast to San Diego, visiting friends and relatives on the way.

Noah is 25th among 35 first cousins, and also has around 30 second cousins.

“I’m from the Thousand Islands and I went to Nazareth to major in psychology, and I loved it here because of the diversity and because there’s so much to do, so I decided to stay.”

Both families are accepting. Noah said, “I just happen to be lucky that I have the luxury of transitioning and just being a guy. I have to decide if I want to be transidentified or a straight ally. I try to figure out why being trans is relevant!”

Jonathan Wetherbee and Matthew Krueger Jonathan said, “Navigating the world of romance and relationships can be tricky for anyone, but for the LGBT community there is an additional layer of complication. Simple things that anyone might face, like trying to figure out where to go to meet people, suddenly become fraught with pressures about safety and propriety that might not occur to non-LGBT people.

“Having found my way to the other side of that, and ending up with someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, I suddenly realize why marriage equality is so important. It’s not just about the legal status that it gives same-sex couples.

I don’t want to understate the importance of those legal protections, because they are vitally essential to a free and fair society, but for me marriage equality goes beyond rights and privileges.

“It is about saying that the love samesex couples hold is as real and valid as the feeling of any other couple. Marriage equality does not change those feelings, but it does make a statement that we are free to celebrate our love proudly and unreservedly, not having to hide or dismiss it. It’s about being able to invite friends and family to a wedding without having to add any disclaimers or qualifications that would describe it as being somehow different or lesser than anyone else’s union.

“We want our wedding to be a celebration, and we want to be surrounded by friends and family. That’s why we are going to celebrate right after Thanksgiving, when family comes together.

“Having grown up in North Carolina, and knowing that there is still a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage in that state, I am even more thankful for living in a city like Rochester where there are so many LGBT-friendly venues. Matt is originally from Irondequoit, and his family still lives in Rochester. They are some of the most loving and supportive people I’ve ever met, and having them nearby has meant more to us than we could ever express.

“Really, everyone here has been thrilled to be part of the event, from the invitees to the staff at Artisan Works, where the ceremony will be held. Honestly, we never really considered getting married anywhere but in Rochester, where we plan to raise our family.”

Dan Rose and Levi Meyer Dan Rose, 31, and Levi Meyer, 26,

met in Rochester shortly after New York passed marriage equality in 2011. At that time, Dan, now an attorney in private practice, was clerking for the Supreme Court, Appellate Division, while Levi, a teacher, was finishing his Master’s in Inclusive Childhood Education at Nazareth College.

After they had been dating for several months and then later moved in together in the Neighborhood of the Arts, they discussed the possibility of getting married.

Dan said, “For me, there was never a question we would eventually get married. When the Supreme Court handed down Windsor, though, which held portions of the Defense of Marriage Act to be unconstitutional, and the federal government began recognizing valid same-sex marriages, suddenly there were thousands more reasons to get married in terms of the rights we would gain. As new homeowners, the added protections and tax breaks were certainly concrete factors in my decision to take the next step.”

“I wasn’t really in a big hurry to begin with. A ceremony in front of friends and family to declare our love and commitment is one thing, but to have not only our state but also our country recognize that love and commitment for what it is, that’s a whole different level of acceptance,” said Levi.

Dan and Levi moved to the Syracuse area in June 2013. Dan proposed to Levi at Chocolate and Vines in their old Rochester neighborhood on March 9, 2014, and the newly engaged couple were immediately surrounded by friends and family to help them celebrate the day. They are planning their wedding for summer or fall 2015, followed by a honeymoon in Europe.

Congratulations and best wishes to all of these couples and to every New Yorker whose relationship and family are safer than they were before 2011!

Seven gay-friendly dream honeymoon locations Excerpted from Jean Paul Zapata on gaystarnews.com From secret villas to hotels atop dormant volcanoes, these unforgettable honeymoon destinations are in some of the world’s most romantic cities and desirable travel destinations.

These fairy-tale getaways are ideal for kicking off your new life with your partner, isolated enough to enjoy some privacy yet close enough to city centers to enjoy the local culture.

When it comes to booking a honeymoon, the hotel is just as important as the destination, and Further Afield ensures the ultimate in service and luxury with award-winning accommodations that are certified gay-friendly.

So whether you want to wrap yourself and your partner up in private luxury or show off your love to the world, find your honeymoon inspiration in these… amazing venues.

Tree Hotel in Lapland, Sweden Leave the world behind and celebrate your new life together with a hideaway in

the trees. The Tree Hotel features six different rooms, all four to six meters above ground. Overlooking a town with a population of 300 people, this hotel is an ideal place to commune with nature and your partner. The facilities have Wi-Fi but no TV, so you can really enjoy the scenery and interact with the locals.

There’s a tree sauna for when you want to immerse yourself into a relaxing experience, or if you want to opt for some winter wonderland adventures, you can partake in snowmobile tours or snowshoe walking. Summer is an equally beautiful time to visit Lapland where the surrounding forests offer great opportunities for white water rafting and hiking.

An Airigh in the Isle of Skye, Scotland A mix between a James Bond flat and a nature escape, the An Airigh is a one-bedroom, award-winning stay situated on the stunning green rolling cliffs of Scotland.

The epitome of simplicity and class, the luxurious building offers all the amenities with a close connection to nature. Floor to ceiling windows look out over the sea and bring the stunning landscape indoors.

The surrounding terrain offers all types of walks, from vigorous hikes to leisurely strolls. Local markets also offer the freshest produce and fish you can cook yourself. It’s the perfect place to get away from it all with your special someone.

The Chanric Inn, Napa, California Northern California’s world-renowned wine country serves as the backdrop for this elegant, gay-owned guesthouse. A foodies’ paradise, the inn is nestled among the Michelin-star restaurants and awardwinning wineries of Calistoga. Dine alfresco or enjoy the three-course breakfast basking in the sunlight peering through the surrounding mountains. Whether you’re an adventurer or relaxation enthusiast, the grounds are great for hiking or indulging into the massage or spa services.

Each bathroom comes with marble showers, stone floors and stone vessel sinks, so don’t feel guilty about staying indoors for a while, through the California sun is certain to beckon you out and about.

Above Blue Suites in Santorini, Greece Santorini is known as one of the most romantic locations in the world, with Mediterranean sun brightening up crystal blue oceans and iconic white washed towns.

This private gay hotel offers unparalleled views over the Aegean Sea, as it’s situated atop the world’s largest dormant volcano.

Experience every sunrise and sunset from your private balcony. The hotel location is far enough away from the tourist destination of Thira, and the local beaches are the perfect opportunity for an isolated adventure. (Ed. Note: Thira or Santorini was a center of Minoan culture in the Bronze Age until it was destroyed by volcanic eruption. It may be Plato’s original Atlantis.)

The Secret Garden Villa on the Amalfi Coast, Italy The Amalfi Coast is one of Italy’s most popular tourist gems, and with a private garden home overlooking the coast, we’re sure you won’t want to leave. This oasis

Above Blue Suites, Santorini, Greece

Secret Garden Villa on Amalfi coast, Italy

The Modern Boathouse in Berlin, Germany

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The Modern Boathouse in Berlin, Germany For an isolated escape in the middle of a thriving city, the glass-front Modern Boathouse is one of Berlin’s coolest stays. Moored on Lake Rummelsburg in Central Berlin, the minimalist accommodation is just 15 minutes from the city, which you can see from mostly any point of the boathouse. You can either cook on the boathouse or head into the city for any of the award-winning meals. The property comes with bikes available you can use to explore the city. When you’re ready to return to your city respite the rocking motion of the lake will surely give you one of the best night’s sleeps ever. (From Further Afield) - See more at: http://www.gaystarnews. com/article/8-gay-and-lesbian-honeymoon-hotels-take-cake210314#sthash. p8wHDcCC.dpuf ■

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may 2014 • number 478 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

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the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 478 • may 2014

may 2014 • number 478 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

Shoulders to Stand On Shoulders To Stand On: DSM

By Evelyn Bailey This month, STSO will look at the third most influential event to shape American society’s attitudes toward homosexuality for generations up to the present day. The event – the classification of homosexuality as a diagnosable mental disorder in the DSM-1, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, which came into existence in 1952.

The term “homosexuality” was coined in the late 19th century by a German psychologist, Karoly Maria Benkert.

Definition: A mental disorder, also called a mental illness or psychiatric disorder, is a mental or behavioral pattern or anomaly that causes either suffering or an impaired ability to function in ordinary life (disability), and which is not developmentally or socially normative. Mental disorders are defined by a combination of how a person feels, acts, thinks or perceives. This may be associated with particular regions or functions of the brain or rest of the nervous system, often in a social context.

By their very nature illnesses bring about the goal of finding a cure. It’s perhaps inevitable that “curing” homosexuality would become a prime goal for psychiatrists. By midcentury homosexual “patients” were subjected to cruel and inhumane treatments, including castrations, torture drugs, shock therapy, and lobotomies. Before 1973, aversion therapy was used routinely in hopes that it would prevent or eliminate homosexual behavior. Today the re-emersion of conversion therapy (also known as reparative therapy) provides a range of treatments that aim to change sexual orientation from homosexual to heterosexual.

During the 1860s and ‘70s European public administrators began noticing that some people were organizing their lives not around family, household, and reproduction but around various forms of sexual pleasure. This was probably a recent phenomenon made possible by the forces of capitalism, which tended to draw people off the land into cities away from their parishes and families and to reduce the importance of arranged marriage. Alarmed, officials began studying

TM

these populations, whom they characterized as sexual deviants and grouped according to the particular practices they engaged in. One such class of deviant came to be called “homosexuals.

Homosexuals quickly became the target of medical, psychiatric, and legal intervention, and as early as 1870, they came together in such places as Bavaria to fight criminalization of sodomy. Until the Nazis destroyed Magnus Hirschfeld’s homosexual archives in Berlin and hundreds of thousands of homosexual people were sent to die in concentration camps, the homosexual movement in Germany was widespread and influential.

Late nineteenth and early twentieth century theories of homosexuality largely relied upon a dichotomous model of human nature using categories such as male/female, masculine/feminine, and heterosexual/homosexual. Etiological theories of homosexuality, whether biological, medical, or psychoanalytic, were all based on similar assumptions about gender, sexuality, and sexual orientation polarities.

Whether the theorist held homosexuality to be a normal variant, a form of pathology, or of immaturity, the theory usually relied on the assumption that some intrinsic quality of one gender had made its way into a person of another

gender. The beliefs upon which all these theories rested was that the wide range of human sexuality could be understood when reduced to the two component parts of male and female.

By the end of the 19th century, medicine and psychiatry were effectively competing with religion and the law for jurisdiction over sexuality. As a consequence, discourse about homosexuality expanded from the realms of sin and crime to include that of pathology. This historical shift was generally considered progressive because a sick person was less blameful than a sinner or criminal.

Even within medicine and psychiatry, however, homosexuality was not universally viewed as a pathology. Richard von Krafft-Ebing described it as a degenerative sickness in his Psychopathia Sexualis, but Sigmund Freud and Havelock Ellis both adopted more accepting stances. Early in the twentieth century, Ellis (1901) argued that homosexuality was inborn and therefore not immoral, that it was not a disease, and that many homosexuals made outstanding contributions to society (Robinson, 1976).

A more tolerant stance toward homosexuality was adopted by researchers from other disciplines. Zoologist and taxonomist Alfred C. Kinsey, in his groundbreaking empirical studies of sexual behavior among American adults, revealed that a significant number of his research participants reported having engaged in homosexual behavior to the point of orgasm after age 16 (Kinsey, Pomeroy, & Martin, 1948; Kinsey, Pomeroy, Martin, & Gebhard, 1953).

Furthermore, Kinsey and his colleagues reported that 10 percent of the males in their sample and 2-6 percent of the females (depending on marital status) had been more or less exclusively homosexual in their behavior for at least three years between the ages of 16 and 55.

In 1951, Donald Webster Cory published “The Homosexual in America” (Cory, 1951), asserting that gay men and lesbians were a legitimate minority group, and in 1953, Dr. Evelyn Hooker won a grant from the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) to study gay men.

Born Evelyn Gentry in 1907, she later earned her doctorate at John Hopkins University in Maryland and trained at the Berlin Institute of Psychotherapy during Hitler’s rise to power in Germany. Returning to the US at the outset of World War II, she was a psychology teacher at UCLA when a student, Sam From, introduced her to what would become her life’s work.

As part of the lesbian and gay subculture of the time, From was in a good position to introduce Hooker to many of his friends and show her the routine persecution that homosexuals of the time faced. After From challenged her to “study people like him,” Evelyn Hooker became increasingly aware that many self-identified homosexuals didn’t conform to the standard image of tormented individuals that were reported on in the scientific literature being published by clinicians.

Evelyn Hooker’s groundbreaking paper, presented in 1956, demonstrated that gay men were as well adjusted as heterosexual men, often more so. This study, featuring empirical research on non-clinical gay males, was the first of its kind. It called into question the diagnoses of adjustment disorders in homosexual persons, as well as the objectivity of social scientists.

Throughout the 1950s and ‘60s, gay men and lesbians continued to be at risk for psychiatric lockup and jail and for losing jobs or child custody when courts and clinics defined gay love as sick, criminal, or immoral.

In 1973 the American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality as an “illness” classification in its diagnostic manuals, but it wasn’t a complete reversal of psychiatric thinking on homosexuality. When the third revision of the DSM came out in 1980 (DSM-

21 III), a new psychiatric diagnosis was approved: ego-dystonic homosexuality.

With diagnostic criteria including: 1. a persistent lack of heterosexual arousal and 2. persistent distress from unwanted homosexual arousal, the new diagnostic label was intended as a compromise to appease those psychiatrists who still felt that changing sexual orientation was a reasonable goal.

In 1986, the diagnosis was removed entirely from the DSM. The only vestige of “ego-dystonic homosexuality” in the revised DSM-III occurred under “Sexual Disorders Not Otherwise Specified,” which included persistent and marked distress about one’s sexual orientation.

The DSM 4th Edition (DSM-IV) was published in 1994, followed in 2000 by the DSM IV, Text Revision, or DSM-IVTR. Over thirty years after homosexuality was removed from the DSM, lesbian, gay, and bisexual people, particularly youth who are considered “pre-homosexual,” are still pathologized under another diagnostic category, GID (Gender Identity Disorder). As you can see the obsession with classifying our behaviors and explorations of self has really not ended.

We must be ever vigilant.

Shoulders To Stand On is proud of Evelyn Hooker, and others who have fought to remove homosexuality from the DSM. Shoulders To Stand On recognizes the struggles of our LGBTQI and gender variant brothers and sisters, and is grateful for those who have pioneered the path. ■

History Corner A Monthly Newspaper of The Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley 713 Monroe Avenue, Room 4 Rochester, N Y l4607 (716) 244-8640 MAY 1974 NO 39 IN THIS ISSUE: Police reps address GAGV Meeting; Well received, pg. 1. 38 Arrested thus far in massive parks cleanup, pg. 1. The art of avoiding arrest, pg. 1. Man Maced, Mugged by youth in Durand Eastman Park, pg. 1. Crimes against gays, pg.

1. VD Clinic Largest Ever, pg. 3. Gay counseling seminar, pg. 3. Anti sodomy petitions presented to legislators, pg. 4.

Candidate Samuels signs petition for sodomy repeal, pg. 4. Gay Task Force, pg. 4. Syracuse NYSCGO Meeting, pg.

4.

Do you want to read this issue of the Empty Closet?

Here is the link: http://www.lib.rochester.edu/index.cfm?page=4800.

On that page click on: Browse the Empty Closet issues. Then go to 1974 – May. HIGHLIGHTS FROM CALENDAR OF EVENTS: MON 6 MAY: COUNSELING WORKSHOP. For assigned office staff only.

SUN 12 MAY: AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION AND GAY RIGHTS. Ted Evans, President of the Genesee Valley Chapter of N.Y.C.L.U. TUE 14 MAY: BINGO for the benefit of Gay Alliance. 8 pm. At the GAGV center.

SUN 19 MAY: GAY COFFEE HOUSE. Refreshments, music, meet people, informal.

SUN 26 MAY: GAY MUSIC. Featuring Bruce Jewell of Green Thursday radio program WCMF OTHER EVENTS OF INTEREST EVERY WEEK SUNDAYS: Worship at Christ Church United, 1074 Portland. Transportation for 10:45 am service leaves Bachelor Forum, East Main at Goodman, at 10:15.

WEDNESDAYS: Gay Radio Program, “GREEN THURSDAYS” WCMPPM, 96,5 MHz, Wednesday midnight.

THURSDAYS: Gay Task Force meets, 2 Puller Place, 8 pm. ■

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the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 478 • may 2014

Columnists The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet.

Growing Up YOGA SURVIVOR

By Eric Bellmann He tries my patience and I feel bad about that. But he talks on and on.

Sometimes I want to scream. Sometime I think I will scream at him but I just talk very, very loud. He can’t hear me. Since words fail -- he’s very hard of hearing -- sometimes I think I should to bop him on the nose but I know enough not to get too close to him. He has very grabby hands.

And then without warning he morphs into being adorable and I want to hug him. He’s as cute as can be. Always with a big smile and eyes that twinkle. I’d hug him but I know enough not to get too close. I have not lost track of those grabby hands.

Most weeks I see him twice, Tuesday and Thursday mornings. We are in the same yoga class. The world would be a better place if he concentrated more on the yoga moves and didn’t socialize so much. It kills me to add that this is a SAGE yoga class. SAGE means old people. Dear God, it’s come to this.

But it’s a great yoga class. Our teacher is smart and patient and he also has a twinkle in his eyes. He likes teaching this class, that’s clear. And he’s designed a series of exercises that are effective and flow together nicely. The class could be paradise if we could drift into a moderately meditative state. Isn’t that the point of yoga? But then there is Mr. Conversation.

I’ll protect his anonymity and call him T. He is 83. Think about that for a moment. Hitting 60 is not an achievement to brag about these days. 75 might be. 83 sure as hell is. Unless he is abducted by aliens (would they want him?) he will have turned 84 by the time this is in print.

I exercise a lot. I go to the health club at least three times a week. No chance of building the body I wished I had, the body that other men would have chased.

Now it’s all about staying functional. So it seemed yoga would be a good addition to my regime. And as the world has evolved, wiser folk have identified the needs of older gay men and women and so, we have SAGE yoga twice a week. It’s yoga in a chair, no less The chair is a smart idea. Lots of stretching. First the head and neck, then the shoulders, and on we go ending up standing, working on balance, so very important to the elderly.

Elaine Stritch, now in her high 80s, and forever an annoying woman, refuses to say she is old. She prefers to say she is older. Everyone is getting older. That’s her point. I’m with Elaine.

But back to T. For a while I really had no idea how to cope with him. Not only does he talk, but he is an enchanting smutty mouth. Guy doesn’t quit. Because he is so hard of hearing, he doesn’t realize it when people ask him to tone it down.

Or does he? Hard to tell.

I’ve lightened up, come to terms with being older. It hasn’t taken long to realize that T. is a catalyst that unites us. How do you get to be his ripe age and still have so much joy? His unflagging cheer makes us laugh. He has helped create community. No small accomplishment especially when you consider the challenges facing older folks sliding towards lives marked by increased isolation.

I also have to say that T. is handsome.

(Oh God, what if he reads this?) He has thick white hair, gorgeous eyes and good facial bones. In his day he must have been a head turner. What stories he could tell.

While I’m in contact with God, I hope she doesn’t let him start telling us tales of his past.

Gloria Steinem, always a feminist icon, just turned 80. To celebrate she announced she was going to Botswana to ride an elephant. And I worry how many more years I can do my spring clean-up!

Gloria gives me pause. Makes me count my blessings. I’m doubtful I could even get on an elephant, nonetheless it is a thought. Goals matter. T. is an inspiration, too.

I have a friend, a handsome, muscular hot man who just turned 30. He tells people he’s 28. He regards being 31 the way Ukrainians think of the Russians. Gay men hate ageing. My advice would be to search among us geezers, try to find elder icons, respect and love them and learn whatever lessons they might share long before you find you are sitting in a chair doing yoga. That will happen.

T. tells me he reads my columns. I don’t get a lot of feedback. Recently when I was talking (loudly) with him, standing back more than arm’s length, I asked him to give me an idea for a column. Bless his heart, he told me about impoverished people coming to services at his gay positive church, expressing genuine compassion.

This attention grabber cares for others.

So, I decided to write about him.

Happy birthday, you exasperating, resilient, chatty guy.

Email: elbcad@rit.edu

Cleaning My Closet that’s just ducky

By Meredith Elizabeth Reiniger It was decorated with a large, very yellow duck. Definitely not a drake.

I really did believe that Beth and Cyndi were taking the three Aries wimmin to dinner on March 23. I never ever doubted otherwise. Certainly, I did not, at that point, realize that Beth was able to drive and lie at the same time.

On this lovely spring day, I, all showered, dressed, fluffed, and bejeweled, had been invited to sit in the front seat. We were merrily headed to Brenda’s from whence we would jump into Cyndi’s large vehicle and head toward the restaurant.

On the way, Pat made a “We’re on our way” call but party-planner-in-cahoots Brenda indicated a slight postponement: Cyndi was resting on the bed because she wasn’t feeling well. (Seemed likely.

Cyndi had just flown in from Ireland the day before.) Could we come in for a little bit? Of course I had been willing to step inside. I was clueless. Absolutely clueless.

Until I walked into Brenda’s kitchen.

First I saw Paul?... grinning Paul, camera in hand. I scanned to the left... noticed fruit skewers... Donna beaming... Donna? standing under a large banner... then seeping around the corner, a small crowd of smiling, smirking what-are-YOU-doingin-Brenda’s-house persons.

Apparently the phenomena of everything going in slow motion can be triggered not only by near-death experiences, but also initiated by near-faint experiences precipitate by a boisterous chorus chant: SURPRISE!

Had I not written a column, forwarded to far-flung family and other friends?

Had I not written a column published in a world class newspaper where, in irrefutable black and white, I made a detailed declaration that I absolutely would always prefer to be pre-informed of any party planning possibilities? Clearly, cherished Party Fairy Beth had ignored my belief: “I do not like surprise parties.”

Yes, I must admit, turning seventy is a big deal. It was wonderful to have friends from long ago (longest is 44 years) and fairly recently (a mere two years) gather together to see me turn bright red while I streamed OMG, omg, OMG, o.m.g. I hugged every body as I hello-ed around the room, and then, because I am elderly and couldn’t remember if I had given each friend a hug, I re-hugged, still ohmy-god-ing.

Eventually, I had to take off my coat. The hostess directed me to the room at the end of the hall. But what to my wondering, very wondering eyes should appear... SUPER OMG! A person stood, really important womyn glowing with her warm, tender, loving smile. Slow motion: t-h-a-t i-s m-y s-i-s-t-e-r. O-oh!! l-o-ok?... t-h-e-r-e i-s L-e-s-l-i-e. M-Y S-I-ST-E-R i-s s-t-a-n-d-i-n-g r-i-g-h-t h-e-r-e.

Then, most assuredly, you, dear readers, heard my scream. The Metropolitan Opera offered an audition. I shrieked, no words could have captured my feelings.

Diving into her arms, I felt my inherited maternal gene collection, pudgy ball of a chin, wrinkle as I cried. My 77-year-old, from far away Richmond, doesn’t travel anymore sister was an earth shaking surprise.

Once aftershocks had subsided, I was ready for a day of stories, old and new, from long known friends and not so long known friends. Special people connected, paths crossing hither and thither, every person sharing collections of life reports. It was word hugs given. Word hugs received.

It was fun to hear Pat’s covert activities revealed: the many steps to make a cake. To make a cake appear. 1. Call every bakery in the city to see which one makes almond custard filling. None. 2. Talk to every co-worker who bakes. One. But she does not have an almond custard recipe.

3. However, call her friend, 4. who, it turns out, had a friend Pat could call and 5. who, yes, would bake Meredith’s favorite cake: yellow, almond custard filling, slathered with butter-frosting. 6. Pat double-checked my March column to verify my preferences.

7. Ordered. Even though baker-woman lived in a 29.3 square mile town quite near the hamlet of Owls Nest. 8. Spent a whole day doing errands, like driving 45.06 miles forth and back to Wayne County. 9. Most crucial ingredient: a bighearted friend who would do all this.

The party food was delicious. Made more so by each friend bringing a dish to pass. I like that tradition because it spreads out the workload. I especially appreciate that home cooking which means made with love.

The cake. Procured with love. I ate three pieces and seven frosting flowers.

The happy duck on top? A relative of a fuzzy duck who waddled into my life long ago, Dr. Powerduck, who is responsible for my cake topping as well as my nicknames. These days two call me Ducky and one calls me Ducks.

Surprising at first. I had managed for many years, despite college dorm mates with a proclivity for obliterating perfectly lovely names, to avoid nicknames. And

then came that duck. With powers. The power to change my opinion of nicked names, of pet names. Now I can feel tenderness tucked inside those friendshipnames. Indeed, on my surprise birthday party day, I was surrounded by a room filled with friendship’s positive energy.

A room with heightened anticipation: my respiratory test. Although some may have doubted my hot air content, I did, easily, manage to blow out my wish candles. Poof. Puff. I smiled and laughed because I knew that my wishes had already come true. I was surrounded by friends who listen to my heart, not just my words. Note this: each will have a significant five or zero birthday, won’t they?

Duck. Duck. Goose.

MeredithElizabethReiniger@gmail.com

Faith Matters America cleans up its homophobic lexicon

By Rev. Irene Monroe As the country becomes more accepting of the civil rights of its lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ ) Americans, it is also beginning to reexamine its language used to demean us.

In last month’s New York Times article “The Decline of the ‘H’ Word,” Jeremy Peters wrote that while the word “homosexual” for the most part is “inoffensive,” “outdated” and perhaps “innocuous”, the word nonetheless is viewed by many in our LGBTQ community as a pejorative term.

According to George P. Lakoff, a professor of cognitive science and linguistics at the UC, Berkeley, because many still associate the word “homosexual” with sexual deviance, the preferred terms are “gay” and “lesbian”.

“Gay doesn’t use the word sex,” Lakoff said. “Lesbian doesn’t use the word sex.

Homosexual does. It also contains ‘homo,’ which is an old derogatory.”

I abhor the word “homosexual” because it continues to be used by faith communities today to demean and denigrate LGBTQs — although the word never appeared in the Bible until its 1946 translation. And while there have always been words in the original Greek New Testament scriptures for same-sex activities, no condemnations appear that it’s an abomination to God. However, for many African Americans, the terms “gay” and “lesbian” are as offensive as the word “homosexual.”

For many African Americans, we use terms like “in the life” — an identifier, a code, that derives from the Harlem Renaissance. Another is the term “samegender loving” that became popular in our LGBTQ lexicon in the 1990s.

For many, terms like lesbian, “queer” and “gay” are not descriptors use to depict themselves because they uphold a white queer hegemony that many in the African American LGBTQ community denounce.

Also for many, the terms strip AfricanAmerican LGBT people of our particular history, struggle and spirituality that not only renders us invisible, but it also renders us speechless.

Cleaning up homophobic language has extended beyond our borders.

Last year, and to the surprise of many across the globe, Mexico stepped forward to define and reduce homophobic

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may 2014 • number 478 • the gay alliance • the empty closet hate speech. Two commonly used words — “punal” and “maricones” — were the main targets. Both words closely translate as “faggot.”

In a vote of 3-2, Mexico’s Supreme Court ruled that these two homophobic hateful slurs are not legally protected in the country’s constitution as freedom of speech. The Supreme Court further ruled that any citizen offended by these words now could seek redress by suing for moral damages.

“Even though they are deeply rooted expressions in Mexican society, the fact is that the practices of the majority of society can’t validate the violations of basic right,” the Court wrote in support of its ruling.

But as most LGBTQ Latinos know, these two homophobic epithets are so frequently and easily espoused throughout Latin American culture that many are not cognizant of their deleterious effect.

Case in point: Toronto Blue Jays shortstop Yunel Escobar was suspended in September 2012 for three games for wearing eye-black displaying a homophobic slur written in Spanish during a game against the Boston Red Sox. “It didn’t have significance to the way that’s being interpreted right now,” Escobar emphatically stated through a Spanish interpreter. “That’s not the significance that I put into it. That’s a word used often within teams. It’s a word without meaning, the way we use it.”

Escobar, a native of Cuba, contested that the phrase is taken out of context because used in his culture it is not intended to be offensive; it’s merely used as banter in their friendly repartee.

The word is used frequently here, too.

Just last year, Alex Baldwin, hurling anti-gay epithets in a cussing tirade against the vulturous paparazzi on his heels spewed out the slur “c*ksucking f*ggot.”

Although Baldwin emphatically refuted using the “F- word” he didn’t deny using the word “c*ksucking,” claiming that he simply had no clue that the word is a homophobic slur.

Homophobic epithets are so pervasive across our culture that most good-hearted and well-intentioned heterosexual people like Baldwin are sadly unaware of the psychological and physical toll that these words have on LGBTQ people. Too often these cavalierly used epithets go either unchecked or unchallenged as the hate speech that they are.

However, sometimes in our effort to

clean up language we can go too far.

In 2012, the editors of “The Associated Press Stylebook” announced that they were “discouraging” use of the word “homophobia.” (The “AP Stylebook” is the widely used guide that media use to standardize terms and general usage.) The LGBTQ community was in a kerfuffle about it because the editors made their decision without consultation with the nation’s leading LGBTQ organizations, leaders, activists and newspapers.

With an estimated 3,400 AP employees in bureaus around the globe, the AP’s suggestion could have had a tsunami-like effect on how the world comes to understand, be informed about or dismiss discrimination against (LGBTQ) people.

AP’s online Stylebook defines a phobia as “an irrational, uncontrollable fear, often a form of mental illness” and said words such as “Islamophobia” and “homophobia” therefore should be expunged from political and social contexts.

The word “homophobia” derives from the unique history of LGBTQ people and our shared struggle for civil rights across the world. It has become part and parcel of a universal LGBTQ lexicon that accurately reflects our reality. The phenomenon of homophobia has power and unfortunately deleterious effects, but part of our liberation is in our strength to call out acts of homophobia. If the press eliminated use of the word, that would not only diminish people’s chances of understanding homophobia’s wideranging effects but would diminish the reach of LGBTQ activists in our continued efforts to effect change.

A Few Bricks Short Don’t be a Hater!

By David Hull C’mon, everybody, sing like a Munchkin in Oz: “Ding-dong, Fred Phelps is gone!

Wicked, old Phelps is gone, gone, gone!” OK, I know that’s not very nice, but I have to admit it – I am glad Fred Phelps is gone, deceased, departed, pushing up daisies, 10 toes up, taking the eternal dirt nap.

In case you don’t know – Fred Phelps was the founder, preacher and head-wacko of the Westboro Baptist Church, a “Christian” organization that was famous for

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protesting at military funerals where they proclaimed that God was allowing US soldiers to be killed in war because America was tolerant of homosexuality. Anyway, in March, Fred Phelps finally boarded the express train to the hereafter and all I can say is – good riddance!

The Westboro Baptist Church was actually founded way back in 1955, but it gained national fame (or more appropriately, infamy) in 1998 when they protested at the funeral of Matthew Sheppard, the victim of a violent hate crime, where they spouted their unforgettable “Christian” catch-phrase: “God Hates Fags!”

Supposedly, shortly before his death, the 84-year-old Phelps had a change of heart and began advocating a “kinder approach” to Christianity with his parishioners. In return, his parishioners responded by excommunicating him from his own church. Irony can be such a bitch!

So, since they excommunicated him, did the members of the Westboro Baptist Church protest at Phelps’ funeral?

That would have been kind of interesting, wouldn’t it? Did God kill Phelps because he no longer believed that God hated fags? But if God took Phelps, after the man’s long lifetime of spewing his antigay venom, wouldn’t that mean that God actually… likes fags? I mean, honestly, God gave fags impeccable taste, relentless bitchiness and that gorgeous MSNBC anchorman Thomas Roberts; as far as I can see there is absolutely no proof that God has anything other than great fondness for our people.

But there is more good news – now that Phelps is gone, it appears that his Westboro Baptist Church will die as well.

Apparently, over the past few years, most of Phelps’ flock has left his Church and now the membership is basically made up just of Phelps’ own family members. Without Phelps’ leadership, it seems unlikely the Westboro Baptist Church will continue functioning. I’ll say it again; good riddance!

I don’t think whether Phelps believed that God hated fags or loved them is important any longer. What is important is that we take a look at what Phelps accomplished with his life.

Fred Phelps promoted hate. That’s all.

How awful is that? I don’t know if Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church ever helped the poor or nurtured the sick; if they ever did anything productive for their local community or the world in general. All I know is that Phelps and his congregation hated gay people – that’s all.

But maybe, in all his misguided, mean-spirited, awful ways, maybe Fred Phelps left a message for the rest of us.

Don’t end up like him. Don’t let hate overrun your life.

I’m the first one to announce that the list of people who can kiss my ass just keeps getting longer and longer every day.

In all my complaining about Christians with anti-gay beliefs, Republicans who don’t want to deal with birth control, climate change, public assistance or gun control, all those folks who just endlessly grate on my nerves – I can’t let that be my focus.

I’m better than that. I’m better than Fred Phelps. My attention is better spent on helping my community, my family and friends and, most importantly, remembering to set my alarm so I can get up in time to see Thomas Roberts every morning on MSNBC. Contact David at davidhull59@aol.com

Conundrums A life well lived

By Ove Overmyer People grow a lot when they finally accept their own mortality. No one knew this better than my mother, Jaclyn Elizabeth Schreiner Overmyer. She died on April 8, 2014 at the age of 84.

I have lived through an extraordinary

23 number of deaths in my lifetime; many of them were untimely and gruesome. Along the way, I learned never to underestimate someone’s ability or capacity for growth.

Some of these changes were absolutely phenomenal -- each of these people experienced a stage of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Also, every single friend and family member who passed away eventually found their inner peace before they departed -- every single one of them -- including my beautifully complex Mother.

When I look back on these personal journeys, there is a definite common narrative that keeps resurfacing. If my Mother’s passing has taught me anything, it would be to never forget how to love one another. It’s no secret we all struggle with personal relationships from time to time, but it should never trump our ability to see past the sometimes petty and insignificant happenstance that defines family life. The fact is we are all flawed human beings; we are not perfect creatures —far from it.

We should all be given the room to make mistakes and be forgiven.

Sitting by her side the last days of her life, her message to me was: “what matters in life is your family, having the capacity to show love -- and be loved.”

And we must honor and value the art of forgiveness — and let ourselves be forgiven.

If my Mom’s passing has taught me anything, let me continue to have the courage to live a life true to my authentic self, not the life others expect of me.

I found my true character when I lost myself in the service of others — and I have my mother to thank for that. I am extremely proud to have a career in public service, knowing full well she gave me gifts to help me make my community a better place for all our families.

She was the one who invested time and energy to get me interested in my own education and the arts — more specifically reading and the art of storytelling. I owe my creative self and my compassion for others to her encouragement as a parent who always wanted to share the joy and gift of reading — a gift I can never repay a thousand times over.

I can remember many long winter nights as a child, where my Mom tucked her feet under her rump on the living room couch and lovingly stared at the pages of the latest murder mystery. These are precious moments I will never forget — and made me realize the value of storytelling and that books, music, art and reading were my golden ticket to a world I could never possibly imagine otherwise.

She also taught me to dream — and to dream big with no regrets. When people realize that their life is almost over and clearly look back on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people do not honor even half of their dreams and have to die knowing that it was due to personal choices they had made -- or not made for that matter.

If my Mom’s passing means anything, let it be that we can all have the courage to express our genuine feelings and not be judged harshly for doing so.

Many of us suppress our feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, we settle for half-hearted remedies and never become the whole person we are destined to become. My friends in the medical community have often told me that many developed illnesses relating to anger, bitterness and resentment only contribute to an unhealthy existence later in life.

If my Mom’s passing has meant anything to you, let it be a message that values golden friendships. We all need to refocus and give personal relationships the time and effort that they so richly deserve. Everyone, including my Mom, missed her children, relatives and close friends the final days of her life. It’s what she valued most in life.

And finally, if my mom’s passing has meant anything at all, let it be a message

24 that says, “I wish that I had let myself be happier.”

In her final days, it was clear to my Mom that happiness is a personal choice. Regret, fear of change and public opinion have us pretending to others at times, and to ourselves, that everything is alright, that we are content, successful and happy. When deep within our souls, we all long to laugh properly like a child and have silliness in our life once again.

No one on this planet had the ability to be sillier than my Mother, Jackie Overmyer.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. My mom could care less about public perception or her appearance. She only cared about her family and friends — nothing else. How wonderful it was to see her finally let go and find that inner peace. She really did have a remarkable life. She had a terrific light that was all her own.

If my Mother’s life means anything at all, let it be a message that tells us our past experiences can make you a better person. As cliché as it sounds, life is too short to sweat the small stuff. Be a blessing, be a friend. Encourage someone — take time to care. Let your words heal and not harm others, that is what she would say if she was still with us today in this material world.

To my family, friends and loved ones, thank you for being by my side during this difficult time. I love you all — but most of all, I will always love you Mom. You have been the center of my universe all my life. I will always cherish our times together -- may you rest in peace.

Brian’s Views what do you mean?

By Brian McNaught Secretary of State John Kerry said he will be sending U.S. “experts” on homosexuality to persuade Uganda President Yoweri Museveni that the horrific anti-gay bill he signed is based on faulty science.

There are many of us in the field of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender sexuality education who wonder what will be said and by whom. It’s essential that the experts’ presentation be understandable and relevant to the African Evangelical Christian.

We often speak to others as if they know what we’re talking about, and if they don’t, we sometimes assume that they’re ignorant. Recent French houseguests of Ray’s and mine had never heard of Tennessee Williams. I was astonished.

They were perplexed when we didn’t know the names of the revered French singers they referenced in conversation.

Not long ago, our very bright, 28-year-old nephew told us he hadn’t seen the black and white Christmas film which we were referring to. “You’ve never seen The Bishop’s Wife?” I said in disbelief. “It’s the classic one with Cary Grant, Loretta Young, and David Niven. You’ve heard of them, right?” He awkwardly replied that he hadn’t. “Cary Grant was today’s George Clooney,” I explained. I was now speaking his language. We had a connection, a reference we shared.

The executive director of a city’s LGBT Community Center was visiting recently. This very sweet homosexual “expert,” who is also a friend, talked about the work he was doing. After a few moments, I commented, “You use the word ‘queer’ a lot.”

He replied, “I wouldn’t have any credibility with the younger generation of our community if I didn’t.”

I sighed, “But you lose credibility with my generation when you do.”

Does President Museveni use the word “queer”?

In his second Inaugural Address,

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 478 • may 2014 President Barack Obama linked Stonewall with Selma and Seneca Falls. I was deeply moved, but I suspect that most people listening to the President either didn’t know the meaning of “Stonewall,” or “Selma,” or “Seneca Falls,” or all three. A high school educational tool recently developed by the Stonewall National Museum and Archives cited the President’s speech, and explained the references to Stonewall, Selma, and Seneca Falls. In doing so, students learned some history of the LGBT, black, and women’s civil rights movements.

Uganda President Museveni won’t know those words, though. Our “experts” shouldn’t use them. I hope they won’t use the acronym LGBT either.

Those of us who purport to be educators have to become culturally competent with our audience if we are to succeed in being understood, and in impacting a change in attitude or behavior. Many people in my generation of seniors, even those who are paid to communicate thoughts to a varied audience, assume that their lifetime references match those of all others. They expect to be understood, and if they are not, they are frustrated with the lack of sophistication of the reader or listener.

Do you think the President of Uganda, who is currently allowing homosexuals to be imprisoned for life, knows the names “Alfred Kinsey,” or “Masters and Johnson”?

Even The New York Times, one of the best newspapers in the world, and the one I read daily, frequently is filled with references that make no sense to readers under age 35. A television reviewer will often write that a program has “jumped the shark.” A news commentator will say that a certain person “drank the Kool-Aid.” Even readers in my generation may feel unsophisticated or illiterate because they don’t know what the expressions refer to.

In September 1977, the once very popular television program “Happy Days” aired an episode in which the leather jacket-clad character Fonzie jumps a shark while water skiing. The storyline was thought by critics to be the low point of the series, which thereafter went downhill, and was cancelled.

In November 1978, nearly 1,000 fanatical followers of the Rev. Jim Jones committed suicide at his request by drinking a cyanide-laced fruit drink, similar to Kool-Aid. One could argue that the Uganda legislation “jumped the shark,” in being a ridiculous low point in the country’s history, and that the legislators “drank the Kool-Aid” in unquestioningly supporting a law inspired by an American Evangelical troublemaker. But President Museveni won’t know those references if they are used by our homosexual experts.

If these same State-Department designated emissaries lazily refer to a bisexual as being “AC/DC,” it’s unlikely that any Ugandan or young American, gay or straight, will know what the letters stand for. I had to look up the difference between alternating and direct electrical current. In days past, a bisexual person was often referred to as being AC/DC, capable of operating with either alternating or direct current. A bisexual was also called “a switch hitter,” but if you’re not familiar with baseball, like our French friends, the expression is meaningless.

I don’t know what, if any, words will convince President Yoweri Museveni to repeal the horrible Ugandan law that criminalizes being a homosexual.

If I were meeting with him, I’d first learn everything about the man that I could, not just his political and religious beliefs, but also his personal life, family, friendships, mentors, favorite pastimes.

And I would personalize being gay by relating it to his own life experiences.

Changing a person’s heart is far more effective than changing his or her mind.

I might discover that President Museveni watches the film The Bishop’s Wife every Christmas, and that Cary Grant

is his idea of a manly man. If so, I’d let him know that it is believed Cary Grant was at the very least bisexual, AC/DC, a switch hitter.

Finding common ground, and communicating in ways that can be understood, is essential in impacting another’s thoughts and feelings. That’s my expert opinion.

Trans*missions Visibility

By Laine DeLaney I’ve said before that visibility is essential to our survival. Contrary to our greatest fears and greatest desires, melding in, disappearing, and “passing” into obscurity is detrimental to all trans* people.

I know that’s a bold statement, and I’m aware that there are many who disagree. I acknowledge that there are times that either “going stealth” or expressing as the gender assigned to you at birth is necessary for safety. I also believe that no one should be outed against their will, nor should they feel compelled to be out due to social pressure. Being visible should be a choice. It does not mean changing your appearance so as to not “pass” or changing your behavior so that people will “read” that you are trans*.

What do I mean by visibility? Being open about who you are when asked.

Not lying. Not being afraid to show who you are to the people that you have nothing to fear from. You may open yourself to arguments, derision, and ugly looks, but by being visible you also give people the opportunity to surprise you with their warmth, their acceptance, their honest curiosity, and their support.

You also give people the opportunity to be educated, something that is extremely valuable, and to see a trans* person as another human being rather than as something frightening that they do not understand. People who are educated will spread their education. Even if it doesn’t take, they will almost assuredly repeat what they were told in what might be their first (knowing) encounter with a trans* person.

I’ve said before with conviction that for every one trans* person I see at meetings, I see two or three (that I assume are trans*, I could be incorrect) that never come to groups, and for each of those I know in my heart of hearts that there are ten who are still hiding inside themselves. These people are still invisible, but for a different reason: because they are afraid of how people will treat them.

They’re afraid that cisgender society will scorn and abuse them. They’re afraid that trans* society won’t accept them because they don’t “pass” well enough, or don’t cleave closely enough to all of the cultural cues associated with their true gender.

These people who are still invisible need more of us to be visible. They need to see us just as much as the cisgender people do. Feeling alone or that there is no one out there like you is the most consistent experience I’ve encountered in the trans* community. People of older generations often report never having even heard of trans* people until much later in life. People of younger generations often still feel isolated and alone because the media and popular culture stereotypes of trans* people tend to be rigid, heavy-handed, unflattering and often damaging and alienating.

They don’t realize that not every trans* woman is a wannabe beauty queen, and not every trans* guy is Chaz Bono, and not every trans* person is even “transitioning”.

Every time you let someone else know that you are trans*, you have a powerful effect on their lives and on the lives of every trans* person that they know. You are helping both by acclimating cisgen-

der culture to our existence and presence, and by letting others know that they are not alone. It’s not easy and it can be awkward but you make the world a better place for everyone by letting them know who you are, that people like you exist, that we’re like everyone else, and that we’re everywhere.

What’s Bothering Brandon?

Let Me Lead You Down the Garden Path, to a Thatched Roof, in a Village in a Valley

By Brandon W. Brooks Snow has (finally) given way to spring rains, which will soon (hopefully) subside into sunshine, flowers, and fresh green grasses. Tulips and daffodils shoot up, lining the avenues and pathways of our sidewalks. One is no longer required to brace oneself as the first foot is placed over the threshold, and onward to outside.

As I prepare my rubber galoshes (which are entirely unsightly in my opinion, really) I suddenly feel as if I am someone else altogether. I feel as though I have been somehow carried to a thatched cottage in the English countryside, and it’s the late 1920s. How can this be? How can donning a pair of galoshes transport me to such a peculiar and oddly specific time and place? Then I remember with a reminiscent smile; this Spring business is Beverly Nichols business.

Indeed, whenever that excellent day arrives when I can step through my door and, instead of that cold and wet smell, my nose is greeted with the smell of thawed earth and budding flora, I think of dear old Beverly Nichols.

Mr. Beverly Nichols (1898-1983), for those of you who are sadly out-ofthe-know, is a praised English author and essayist, journalist and playwright.

Always decked out in his signature three-piece tweeds, Nichols was well known to be homosexual, and clearly the literary (if not ironic) reincarnation of Oscar Wilde. What’s not to love?

But perhaps what he is most known for are his short semi-nonfictional novels on gardening and (to partake in the language of the peasantry) housekeeping. I first discovered his famous Allways trilogy some time ago during my time at university. Allways is the pseudonym Nichols uses to name his quaint countryside village, or rather hamlet, in which all three books of his trilogy are nestled. Near the edge of this village’s border sits Nichols’ Tudor thatchedroof cottage, and this is where his story begins.

These three books center around Nichols’ misadventures, trials and triumphs during his attempts to reconstruct his English parterre park, have the cottage re-thatched and redecorated (who can stand that faux-Tudor chest anyway), all while exploring the wildly ridiculous characters with which he shares the lanes and paths of this village. His anecdotes begin with Down the Garden Path, the wildly popular first book, where Nichols acquires his cottage with joy and enthusiasm, presumably to satisfy a mere interest in private, countryside dwelling. How hard could it be?

Nichols’ curiosity is quickly stamped out when considering the immense amount of effort that will have to be put forth in order to recreate his parterre, complete with lovely boxwood hedges, a beehive, stone garden, Antinous statuary, and pond. The hilarity that ensues is quite deliciously camp, albeit far ahead of its time.

Nichols’ next two books, A Thatched Roof and A Village in a Valley, contin-

may 2014 • number 478 • the gay alliance • the empty closet ue on in this same Allways, explaining and detailing Nichols’ own war waged against past owners’ poor decorative tastes, relations and interactions with servants and gardeners, the wretchedly condescending Mr. M and even electricity’s potential decent upon Allways. Both a delightful and quick read, I was barely able to reach for the drawing-room bell pull due to sheer engrossment.

What I love most about all of Nichols’ literary works (which are quite expansive) is his use of self-aware irony.

Nichols’ prime demographic was, and still is, the educated young person, proficient in good taste, keen on the preservation of tradition and stylistic purity. A man after my own well-organized heart.

Many of his articles, columns and publications can actually be found in past issues of Britain’s now defunct Woman’s Own magazine. Despite this being the case, when read Nichols’ writing resonates most deeply with gay males, or so say the countless gay males of the past eight decades, including myself.

Although I cannot technically afford or match Nichols’ financial investments made in restoring his Tudor paradise (and later his Georgian Regency house, Lord above), I can certainly aspire to do so in my later years. His works can still be found in print, both paperback and cloth-bound, filled with the exquisite (and most importantly, original) illustrations by Rex Whistler, a brilliant artist killed in WWII. A detailed and entertaining read, Nichols’ Allways trilogy simply must be read at some point in one’s life, British or otherwise. So put the kettle on, open the French doors to your own boxwood parterre, and crack the spine of Down the Garden Path; you shan’t regret it!

Questions, comments or critique?

Please feel free to e-mail the author at: brandonb@gayalliance.org ■

Community Find the friends, fun, and common interests you’re looking for through the various groups listed here.

Dignity-Integrity D-I Rochester meets weekly at 5 p.m. at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St., corner of Broad St. We have the following services and activities for the month of May 2014.

1st Sunday: Episcopal Mass/Healing Service, with music.

2nd Sunday: Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, with music.

3rd Sunday: Episcopal Mass.

4th Sunday: Evening Prayer, followed by a Potluck Dinner!

Our fourth Sunday Potluck theme for May is “Picnic Foods”. Traditionally we’ve gone to a local park on the fourth Sunday in May, but given the unpredictable weather this spring, we decided to have our picnic at church. No time to cook or shop? Just ask a friend or two and join us for food and fun!

You can call the Hotline at 585-2345092 or check our website at www.dirochester.org/ for updates on services and activities.

ROMANS ROMANS members joined members of Naturist Rochester at the end of season nude swim at Harro East on April 5.

That evening ROMANS member Pat served some wonderful snacks for everyone to enjoy, including a heavenly peanut butter and chocolate spread and a variety of Nacho chips with a salsa dip. One Naturist Rochester member also brought two delicious homemade pumpkin pies to satisfy everyone’s taste buds.

It was a evening of comradeship shared

by many friendly nudists in the Rochester neighborhood.

A few ROMANS members who went on the gay cruise in March returned with hundreds of exciting stories to tell. They strongly recommend the cruise to anyone who wants to experience an all gay vacation.

ROMANS’ May meeting will be held in Rochester and the group has an outdoor swim and backyard party planned for June. New this summer for ROMANS and Naturist Rochester members is a special arrangement with Empire Haven Nudist Park in Moravia for discounted entrance fees on three weekends in June, July and August. ROMANS members are excited about the added opportunities to network with fellow nudists from around the neighborhood counties.

All ROMANS activities are listed on the website at www.wnyromans.com.

ROMANS is a social club for gay and gay-friendly male nudists over 21. You can contact the ROMANS at message line 585-281-4964, E-mail wnyromans@ yahoo.com or via regular mail at PO Box 92293, Rochester, NY 14692.

Rochester Women’s Community Chorus In 1978, the Rochester Womyn’s Community Chorus started its performing journey by singing three songs at a Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus concert. A lot has changed in the past 36 years. This year we’ll come full circle by welcoming the RGMC to join us on stage as special guests at our concert on June 7.

25 Our group started as a feminist movement, singing only music and lyrics written by “womyn”. In 1985 we changed our name to Rochester Women’s Community Chorus and we have since expanded our repertoire to include music by either female or male composers, as long as it fits our mission of using music as the vehicle for messages of peace, hope, understanding, and cooperation within the global community.

For more than 25 years, Deb Wachspress served at our helm as Music Director. In 2011 she passed the baton to our current Music Director, Kristy Houston. However, Deb remains as active as ever with the group. She is our Executive Director, leads our Community Outreach committee, and in 2013 she took over the role of Principal Accompanist from Annie Wang, whose career took her to New York City.

Under Kristy’s direction, we have continued to grow musically, including performances at the Greater Rochester Choral Consortium’s Prism concerts at Eastman Theater in 2013 and 2011.

For many years, we performed our concerts at the Hochstein School of Music and Dance. In 2012 we moved to the beautiful acoustics of St. Anne Church.

This spring we will perform at the Harley School at 1981 Clover Street. We need a bigger stage to accommodate our evergrowing group along with the RGMC! We invite you to join us on June 7 at 7:30 p.m. for our next concert, On with the Show - Songs of Stage and Screen.

Come see and hear what the Rochester Women’s Community chorus of 2014 has to share!

Rochesternygrrlz Time to get your girl on!

Rochesternygrrlz, a social gathering for Crossdressers and Allies, will meet 4-6 p.m. on May 17 (third Saturdays) in a safe and welcoming environment at the Gay (Community continues on page 26)

26 Alliance, 875 E. Main St. Girls night out follows this event 6 p.m. until…. Changing space is available.

For more information, go to https://groups. yahoo.com/group/rochesternygrrlz/

Trans* Alliance of Greater Rochester T*AGR is definitely P.O.P.ing! with Possibilities, Opportunities, and Paths!

On Saturday, April 12 we had our first TPG T*AGR Planning Group meeting. This was an idea Laine DeLaney suggested and she worked hard to make it happen. And it was quite a success.

Thirteen people showed up, including two student allies from Brockport.

Scott Fearing, Executive Director of the Gay Alliance also joined us because he had something really exciting to show us.

It is a documentary titled “Just Gender” and because the producer/director grew up in Rochester, he made arrangements that we could be one of 20 cities in the United States to have the premiere during the first week of June. Scott has been able to secure sponsorship from Excellus to pay for the theatre and flyers and the filmmakers have waived their license fee. Scott has also offered T*AGR a portion of receipts.

It will be at Little Theatre on Thursday, June 5 and the producer/director George Zuber will come to Rochester for our showing of his film. Details are still being worked out and will be sent out as they are firmed up. This is a first for us, something we’ve never tried before; it is such a great opportunity to meet and talk with the Greater Rochester community in general we couldn’t pass it up.

Our next TPG T*AGR Planning Group meeting is the second Saturday of the month which is May 10 from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m., so plan on being there we need your ideas!

Another major announcement is we may have found a new meeting space,

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 478 • may 2014 it is on the ground floor, has a kitchen, comfortable chairs and parking is not an issue. It is the Open Arms MCC (Metropolitan Community Church’s) Community Center. It is gorgeous! And it’s heated and AIR CONDITIONED! We’ll let you know by email once this space is confirmed for us to use along with directions to where it is.

At the planning meeting we also talked about marching in each other’s Pride Parades - Buffalo, Rochester and Syracuse, like we did and had so much fun in 2012. We all agreed that this is something we want to do again. To let you know Buffalo’s Parade is Sunday, June 1 with step off at 1 p.m., Syracuse’s Parade is Saturday, June 14, not sure when they step off is, although last year it was 11:30 a.m. and Rochester’s Parade is Saturday, July 19 and don’t have a step off time for this either. When we know will let you know.

We heard from Mallory Livingston who is a member of Trans Alliance of Central New York located in Syracuse, who told us of the greatly appreciated generosity of Brookelene who has donated the use of a trailer to use for ALL the parades! Thank you Brookelene!

So grab some sunscreen and join us and our Upstate sisters and brothers and get on the float!

By then Spring will be here, so come to the meeting on Saturday, May 31 and celebrate Spring with us! This will be an open discussion support group. The facilitator may ask open-ended questions to spur discussion. People will be encouraged to talk about their transrelated personal issues while the rest of the group offer a sympathetic ear and possibly advice on their situation. So come to a meeting and find out you are not the only one and you are NOT alone!

“Trans*... invisible and silent no longer... invisible and silent no more...”

Our website is: www.rnytg.org or on Facebook at: https://www.facebook. com/RochesterTransGroup ■

The Avenue Pub 38 Year Landmark in the Gay Community

The Avenue Pub 522 Monroe Avenue 585-244-4960

may 2014 • number 478 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

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Arts & Entertainment “Beauty and the Beast” is final RBTL show for season, May 13-18

By Susan Jordan The final Broadway show at the Auditorium this season is Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, May 13-18.

Paul Crane plays Maurice.

His past credits include the national tour of All Shook Up (Jim), Hairspray (Wilbur), Anything Goes (Whitney), Annie (Drake), White Christmas (Ezekiel).

Paul Crane.

Recently he answered some questions from The Empty Closet.

How do you see your character Maurice? What are the biggest challenges to playing that part?

The first thing that everyone remembers from the film is the line, “crazy, old Maurice” but Maurice is not crazy, just a little eccentric and creative. After all, he is an inventor. But the one priority in his life is his daughter, Belle. Everything he does is for Belle and her future. Probably the biggest challenge to playing the part is the physicality.

Maurice falls off the invention, gets thrown in a dungeon, gets thrown out of the tavern and physically handled a few other times and this old body ain’t what it used to be.

Where did you grow up and when did you know you wanted a show business career?

I grew up in a suburb of Chicago. I started doing theatre in high school and thought about a theatre career. However, I ended up working in the corporate world but always keeping my hand in community theatre. I didn’t even audition for a professional theatre until four years ago on a whim and I have luckily been working almost constantly ever since.

What was the most helpful training you had which prepared you for work in the theatre?

I didn’t go to college to study theatre, so I think what trained me best was my high school theatre and music classes. I was lucky enough to have great teachers in a great facility. I also spent many years working in community theatre. The best training is to keep doing it and I was lucky to work with some great community theatres.

Which performers have inspired you the most?

I grew up loving musicals and the divas. The first movie that I think had a major impact on me was “Funny Girl” (OK, pretty cliché I know). Streisand was huge in my life for a long time. I think that movie is what led to my interest in the theatre.

What do you love most about life as an actor and what is hardest to deal with?

How can I not love this?

After 30 years behind a desk I am doing what I love. I get to have fun and be creative every day playing wonderful characters with amazingly talented people. With this show I am touring to 68 different cities, many of which I have never been to before. I get to explore these cities and get to meet new people weekly. Probably the hardest thing is that you are always auditioning for the next job. I equate it to constantly going on a job interview in the corporate world; it gets rough at times.

What should audiences expect from this production?

Does it appeal equally to children and adults?

Audiences are going to love this show. It’s a heart-felt, exhilarating, live production with wonderful singing and dancing, elaborate sets, beautiful lighting and creative costumes. It’s filled with laughter, mystery and romance all told by a wonderfully talented large cast and created by the original Broadway creative team. The show appeals to all ages. From the little girls dressed up in Belle costumes, to the parents and grandparents who love the beauty of the production and the story that it tells.

Rochester Latino Theatre comes to MuCCC May 3 Rochester Latino Theatre Company presents “W.A.C. In Iraq,” a staged reading, on May 3 at 7 p.m. at MuCCC, 142 Atlantic Ave.

The play was written by Mel Nieves, and directed by Jose R. Casado. Mel Nieves will be present at the performance.

There will be one performance only. Admission is $5 at the door.

“W.A.C. Iraq, mothers, daughters, sisters, and soldiers, their voices filled with loss, confusion, loneliness, anger and hope, try to make sense of the ever changing world around them during a questionable time of war; a world where for some, home is but a distant memory and for many others the front line between life and death is nothing more than a blur,” MuCCC says.

Rochester Latino Theatre Company will have other events during that week at MuCCC, including acting lessons.

Also coming up in May at MuCCC: The John W. Borek production of “Hamlet,” May 5 at 8 p.m.; MuCCC College Theatre Festival, May 9-11; MuCCC Spring Dance Sampler, May 16 and 17 at 8 p.m. and “Well” by Lisa Kron on May 23, 24, 25, 29, 30 and 31. For times, admission and more information, see www. muccc.org.

U.R. hosts May 8 screening of Shoulders To Stand On in D.C.; WXXI to air film June 3 The University of Rochester will host a free screening of the documentary film “Shoulders To Stand On” in Washington D.C. on May 8, and has invited all friends and members of the Gay Alliance.

The screening will take place at the Human Rights Campaign office, 1640 Rhode Island Ave., from 6:30-8:30 p.m. There will be an opportunity to meet producer Evelyn Bailey, who will be receiving the Empire State (Shoulders continues page 28)

Dawn M. Sargent in “Sunset Blvd.”

Blackfriars presents musical “Sunset Blvd.”

Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber’s smash hit Broadway musical based on the classic Billy Wilder film comes to Blackfriars this month.

Sunset Blvd. follows departed star of the silent screen era and tortured soul Norma Desmond.

Her glamour and fame have faded everywhere but in her mind and she longs for her grand return to the silver screen.

When she accidentally crosses paths with Joe Gillis, a struggling Hollywood screenwriter, their subsequent passionate and volatile relationship leads to a startling conclusion.

The original Broadway musical won seven Tony Awards in 1995 including Best Musical.

The 1950 film, directed by Billy Wilder and starring William Holden and Gloria Swanson, was nominated for 11 Academy Awards and won three.

“What a challenge and great fun to be re-imagining such a large show for an intimate space,” says Blackfriars Artistic Director and the musical’s director, John Haldoupis. “Essentially, it’s a very small story with a sweeping theatrical arch. I have put together a dynamic cast and am delighted to collaborate with Broadway performer, Nicolette Hart, on the musical staging.

This is going to be epic!”

The cast stars Jason Mincer as Joe Gillis and Dawn M. Sargent as Norma Desmond. The cast also features local favorite Ken Harrington as Max von Mayerling, Robyn Fazio Lasser as Betty Schaefer, William Ruiz as Artie Green, and Nicholas D. Rogers as Cecil B. DeMille. The ensemble includes Thomas Beach, Michael Ciaccia, Lauren DePuy, Sarah Goodman, Cindy Hill, Jaimi Miller, Abby Adair Reinhard, Madeline Wall and Mathew Wegman. Musical direction by Andy Pratt.

Sunset Blvd. makes its Rochester theatre debut at Blackfriars Theatre (795 East Main St., Rochester 14605) beginning May 16 and running through June 14. Performances are Thursdays, May 22 and 29 and June 5 and 12 at 7:30 p.m.; Fridays, May 16, 23, and 30 and June 6 and 13 at 8 p.m.; Saturdays, May 17 and 31 and June 7 and 14 at 8 p.m, and Sundays, May 18 and June 1 and 8 at 2 p.m.

Tickets are $31.50-$39.50 and available in person at Blackfriars Theatre, online at www. blackfriars.org, or by calling 585-454-1260. If available, tickets can be purchased at the door beginning one hour prior to performance. Box Office hours are Monday through Friday, 10 am to 2 p.m., and Saturdays, noon to 4 p.m. MasterCard, Visa, and Discover are accepted at no additional charge. ■

their inner identity; the personal, medical, financial, and societal challenges in daily life; and the increasing ability of transgender individuals to express pride in themselves and in their community.

Interviewees include transgender individuals of all ages, races and backgrounds describing their personal stories. They also include transgender and cisgender (non-transgender) experts, including attorneys, a surgeon, psychotherapists, and

political leaders in the transgender community. By giving viewers a chance to see transgender people as individuals, the film explores the common myths and misunderstandings often held about people whose gender expression is outside cultural norms.

“Just Gender” explores the diversity of persons under the broad umbrella of “transgender,” including cross dressers, gender questioning, gender nonconforming, gender queer, and female-to-male and male-tofemale transsexuals. Through the stories of transgender individuals and their spouses, friends, and allies, we explore the confusion, the isolation, and the fear felt by many transgender people.

We also see their growing awareness and acceptance, and ultimately their joy in blossoming as transgender individuals. The journeys of how these persons have come to terms with life, and embraced their nature, become the central story in this film. ■

“Just Gender,” film on trans issues, screens here June 5 The new documentary film “Just Gender,” directed by George Zuber, will be screened here on June 5. Rochester was chosen as one of 20 cities in the country to host a premiere of the film during the first week of June, at the Little Theater, 7p.m.

Excellus is the Exclusive Sponsor and the Gay Alliance is the presenting organization, partnering with T*AGR (Trans*Alliance of Greater Rochester) to host the event. An interview with the director is coming up in the June EC. “Just Gender” puts a human face on the transgender community, and in doing so, challenges us to question our notions of what it means to be male or female. Informative and straightforward, “Just Gender” seeks to counteract the ignorance that drives much of the discrimination experienced by the “trans” community.

The film, narrated by Tony

Making “Just Gender”.

and Emmy award-winner Bebe Neuwirth, describes the broad range of gender expression within the transgender continuum.

It combines personal accounts, professional insight, and historical perspective to describe the spectrum of issues facing transgender people, from psychological to practical: personal memories of, and reaction to, their first awareness; the fear of discovery, and subsequent repression of their feelings; the process of coming to terms with

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the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 478 • may 2014 the kind of day where we recognized this is why we do what we do, to tell these kind of stories.”

RGMC presents “More Than Us” dinner, revue The Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus will present their annual benefit dinner and musical revue on May 10 at Zeppa Auditorium, 315 Gregory St. Darienne Lake will emcee, and the revue will feature RGMC members and friends.

The fun starts at 6 p.m. with a cash bar. Dinner is at 7 p.m. and the show begins at 7:30.

Tickets are $55 for both dinner and show, and $30 for the show only. Go to www.thergmc. org or call 423-0650.

1964: Pride in theatre comes out at Caffe Cino

Open Arms, Gay Alliance host “Milk” screening; free “Milk” shakes provided Open Arms MCC will be showing the movie “Milk” on Friday, May 23 at 6 p.m. The Gay Alliance is co-sponsor.

Open Arms is located at 707 E. Main St., behind the RAPA parking lot.

Following the movie, members of the Gay Alliance Youth Group will be making “Milk” shakes in the church’s community center.

There will also be a display on the life of Harvey Milk in the community center.

Harvey Milk becomes the first openly gay person to be featured on a U.S. postage stamp this month.

(Shoulders from page 27) Pride Agenda Community Service Award at ESPA’s spring dinner here on May 17.

The free event in D.C. will include hors d’oeuvres and an open wine and beer bar. Space is limited and advance registration is required. To register, go to www.rochester.edu/alumnievents. For more information, call 877-635-4672 or see alumni@rochester.edu.

Also, WXXI will air the documentary here on June 3 from 6:45-10 p.m. DVDs of the film are available at www. gayalliance.org.

“The Normal Heart” comes to HBO May 25 The film adaptation of Larry Kramer’s largely autobiographical Tony award-winning (for its revival in 2011) play The Normal Heart is coming to HBO on May 25.

The film stars Mark Ruffalo, Matt Bomer, Julia Roberts, Taylor Kitsch and Jim Parsons, and chronicles the early days of the AIDS crisis in New York City as seen through the eyes of activist Ned Weeks. The play was staged here in March at JCC. The cast did publicity ahead of the film’s May bow, and stars Matt Bomer, Mark Ruffalo, Taylor Kitsch, and Jim Parsons were featured in Hollywood Reporter’s cover story.

Here’s one bit that stands out, as excerpted by Towleroad.com: Even as Murphy filmed, the politics of gay rights and same-sex marriage were shifting in profound ways…. (T)he cast and crew assembled on a set decked out to resemble the Paradise Garage, an early ‘80s Manhattan disco. Murphy was re-creating “April Showers,” the first fundraiser held by Kramer and his friends.

A frail Kramer, his own health in question (he was too ill to be interviewed for this story), was visiting that day. Before Murphy called action on the first shot, an electric jolt ran through the set: The Supreme Court had just issued its landmark ruling in the case of United States v. Windsor, declaring that the Defense of Marriage Act, which barred the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriage, was unconstitutional.

Suddenly, the crowd erupted in celebration. Ebullient, screaming and cheering, the actors milled around Kramer, wanting to applaud, to hug him, to thank him for all he had contributed to the fight. The oncefiery Kramer summoned the strength to tell them, “Today’s a triumph, but there’s still a lot of work to be done.” The moment, says Murphy, “was pretty historical and great.”

Seconds Taylor Kitsch, who plays a closeted gay politico, “We had a blast that day -- it was

By D.J. Byrne and Kristy Angevine-Funderburk Greenwich Village was a hotbed of creative activity in the late 1950s. An emerging generation of musicians, artists, actors, directors and playwrights were all hard at work. A door opened in 1958 when former dancer and entrepreneur Joe Cino rented space on Cornelia Street in the Village.

Cino converted the venue in coffeehouse tradition into a landing place for poetry readings and art exhibits. Later, he invited playwrights and actors to present new plays. He was encouraged by the strong audience reaction to their fresh, provocative works. Caffe Cino, along with Ellen Stewart’s La MaMa Experimental Theatre Club and Joseph Chaikin’s Open Theater, became the center of the explosive Off-Off-Broadway movement.

Here was the perennial scenario. Young artists had little money, and even less space (the acting area in Caffe Cino was only eight foot square). In the early years production values played out on an elementary level. Costumes were minimal and scenery was fashioned from scrap lumber, milk crates, and carpet remnants. The makeshift lighting board ran on power ingeniously swiped from the city grid. And while Caffe Cino would remain quite intimate, the writing and stagecraft rose steadily to standards of excellence.

Caffe Cino has been called the birthplace of Off-Off-Broadway, but it was also the nurturing ground for a new gay theatre movement. The Cino was producing gay plays when they were dangerous to do. Years before the Stonewall riots of 1969, homosexuals were routinely harassed by cops and civilians alike. Consequently, a secret code system was devised for the Caffe Cino storefront to signal what was happening, and which events might be of special interest to the gay community.

Understandably, the Cino became an oasis. Playwright Robert Patrick remembers, “I just knew that I had found a lot of wonderful, gay people, an alternative to the dreary chain gangs of the bars and baths and streets, a breeding-place for gay dignity and wit.”

In the early to mid-1960s gay stage elements were still

often coded in secretive, suggestive, or symbolic terms. In Jean-Claude Van Itallie’s first play War, from 1963, the sexuality of the antagonists is never quite explicit. However, the suggestion comes into focus only as the play’s complex psychological model unfolds. This play was first staged at Caffe Cino in 1965, and also presented locally

by Black Sheep Theatre in 2011.

It was around the long hot summer of 1964 amid the escalating racial unrest, Freedom Summer and the murders of three civil rights workers in Mississippi, and the first rustlings of student activism, that the Caffe Cino “came out.” The Cino’s first openly gay characters graced the stage in May 1964 with the performances of Lanford Wilson’s landmark play The Madness of Lady Bright, which is the study of an aging queen, and later that year with Robert Patrick’s The Haunted Host. From that point forward a community of gifted young playwrights were free to explore themes of the loneliness, alienation, the difficulties of forming relationships, and forging social identities; all while living in the savagely heterosexist world around them.

This July, Rochester’s Black Sheep Theatre proudly recognizes the fiftieth anniversary of gay theatre from the Off-Off-Broadway origins at the Caffe Cino by presenting Coming Out at the Caffe Cino, including The Madness of Lady Bright, among other plays from that significant time period. For more information, see the June Empty Closet and visit www.blacksheeptheatre.org.

Ithaca Restaurant Week is May 31-June 8 Ithaca’s Summer Restaurant Week is back again. This year, not only will participating restaurants all around Tompkins County be offering specials and new menu items throughout the week, but there will also be special food events all over town, including cooking demonstrations, wine and beer tastings, as well as some other new culinary surprises.

Whenever you dine at a participating restaurant, you will be asked to fill out a very quick survey that will then enter you in a drawing for a complimentary overnight hotel stay, downtown gift cards and a tour. Not only will you be receiving specials, but you’ll also get the chance to win a delicious prize. Restaurant owners will also get the chance to win a grand prize. The restaurant that has the most survey submissions in will also win an overnight stay at a fantastic location.

To see participating restaurants, menus and giveaway details, check restaurantweekithaca.com. Menus will begin to be posted starting on May 1.

Summer Restaurant Week is being sponsored by the Tompkins County Tourism Program and the Downtown Ithaca Alliance. For more information and event details, see Facebook, visit downtownithaca.com or call the DIA office at 607-277-8679. ■

Finland issues Tom of Finland stamps Harvey Milk isn’t the only gay man to appear on a stamp. In September, Finland’s postal service will release several stamps that feature the art of famed gay artist Tom Of Finland.

Via FinnBay: Itella is owned by the state of Finland, providing postal, logistics and e-commerce services in Finland. Tom of Finland or Touko Laaksonen (8 May 1920 – 7 November 1991) is one of the most popular Finnish artists in Finland, who focused on drawing stylized homoerotic fetish art. He produced over 3,500 illustrations, mostly featuring men with exaggerated primary and secondary sex traits with tight or partially removed clothing.

“His emphatically masculine homoerotic drawings have attained iconic status in their genre and had an influence on, for instance, pop culture and fashion. In his works, Tom of Finland utilized the selfirony and humor typical of subcultures,” says Itella. ■

may 2014 • number 478 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

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Travel

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By Merle Exit It’s the first road trip of the year as Laurie and I packed up her car with her gps set for various locations in the Brandywine Valley area of Pennsylvania-Delaware. Most of the trip’s action was centered on a district in Pennsylvania known as Kennett Square, a small home town with much to explore.

Our first destination was a Dupontowned estate known as Winterthur. With its preeminent collection of American decorative arts, naturalistic gardens, and a tour of some of the most notable spaces in the 175-room house, among other things, my sole purpose was seeing one exhibited collection. All were curated by three members of the staff including Maggie Lidz who went to London, not to ride the ponies, but to choose costumes.

Downton Abbey may have ended its season. Not so, as I was able to view “The Costumes of Downton Abbey”. It featured 40 historically inspired costumes and accessories worn upstairs and downstairs by the characters. “Upstairs” are the wealthy folks who live there while “downstairs” are the staff.

The exhibition, running until January of 2015, is organized chronologically as I was able to move through the times of day. There are several sectioned off rooms, many with a backdrop of a scene or a vignette from the series that relates to the costumes. Depending upon how much you are into the series or even simply the history of England, you can view each costume with a sign that gives an explanation.

I also noticed a working recreation of the bell system.

Afternoon teas and English brunches are held in the Garden Café at Winterthur’s Visitor Center. Check their calendar for dates and times as well as some scheduled events or lectures relating to Downton Abbey. Perhaps we will return for an early summer tour of Winterthur. www.winterthur.org I found the least expected “event” was having such a totally high class and delicious dinner in this small town. Portabello’s of Kennett Square has a most passionate chef, Brett Halbert, who is quite picky about the products that he uses, as well as having the knack of being innovative in his cuisine. The name might suggest an Italian restaurant. Think about the mushroom instead. This area is the known as the Mushroom Capital of the World and rightly so. I’ll get into that at another time.

Thirsty for something cold and tasty, out came this Raspberry Iced Black Tea from a company that produces a brand called Tei. Pretty addicting.

As we waited the first course of the chef tasting, a white Reisling wine was offered as well. Portabello’s is a byob. The wine comes from Flickerwood Wine Cellars Tasting Room, across the street. It’s a reciprocation with a byof… bring your own food, when you visit the tasting room.

Exotic Mushroom Crepes had shitake, mitaki, oyster and porcini mushrooms in the crepe with a madeira cream atop.

Being a lover of mushrooms I thought that this was so totally good, until the roasted mushroom soup arrived. Assorted roasted mushrooms are chopped and then slices of mushrooms are placed in the soup as well. The entire meal was clearly an OMG experience. www.portabellosofkennettsquare.com ■

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Gay alliance news for may 2014

Volunteer-of-theMonth: Sherri Munger-Tyler

Congratulations to Sherri Munger-Tyler for being chosen as the Gay Alliance Volunteerof-the-Month for May. Sherri has worked as a Red Ball Planning Committee Member and Raffle Coordinator for the past four years.

Between planning the 2014 Red Ball, seeking donations, handling the raffle and much, much more, Sherri put in over 300 hours of volunteer service to the Gay Alliance! This year Sherri brought in over $9,000 in donations, which raised $3,000 in revenue for our agency!

Sherri states that one of the great joys of working on the Red

Youth

Gay Alliance Youth Program Our program empowers today’s teens to meet today’s challenges! It provides a safe space to explore their identity, make friends, build community, gain life skills, become a leader and have fun!

Gay Alliance Youth (Ages 13-20) Fabulous Fridays, 7-9pm, Open Arms MCC 707 E. Main Street Rochester, NY 14605 Gay Alliance Youth Gender Identity Support Group (Ages 13-20) Thursdays, 5:30-6:30pm Gay Alliance Library (1st floor, off Prince St. lobby) 875 E. Main Street For more information: dawnb@gayalliance.org The Gay Alliance 875 E. Main St. 5th Floor (Auditorium Theater) Rochester, NY 14605 Phone: 585 244-8640

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 478 • may 2014

Ball is that she has made some wonderful long-term relationships between locally owned businesses and the Gay Alliance. For example, Broccolo Garden Center in Fairport donated a gift certificate and a decorative tree to this year’s Red Ball, and now they are hosting a fundraising event for the Gay Alliance in May! Present your coupon, cut out from the EC, on Saturday, May 17 or Sunday, May 18 and Broccolo will donate 10 percent of your purchase to the Gay Alliance!

Anne Tischer shared some thoughts on her 2014 Red Ball Co-Chair: “Sherri MungerTyler is always the first call I make before taking on a project, because I know that if she is ‘on board’ success is practically guaranteed. She knows there is no substitute for hard work and personal investment if you are aiming for a quality event.

From her I have learned to never underestimate the power of a pleasant conversation, a ‘robust appeal’ and a timely ‘thank you’ note. The annual Gay Alliance Red Ball remains financially accessible to the broad LGBTQ community largely because of the many sponsors and raffle donors Sherri and her wife Donna have cultivated. We are lucky to have her in Rochester.”

In addition to her volunteer work for the Gay Alliance, Sherri has also donated volunteer hours to Metro Justice, LGBT Friends of Good Government, Empire State Pride Agenda, local LGBT-inclusive churches, the Newly Wed in New York Planning Committee, Rochester’s first-ever Gay History Fair, “Life After DOMA” Speaker’s Panel, local LGBT activists on petition drives and filling buses to go to Albany specifically to advocate for Marriage Equality, ENDA, and GENDA. Sherri states, “It’s my way of giving back to the local LGBT community, as well as to the Gay Alliance for all they do for the community.”

On behalf of the staff and board at the Gay Alliance, we thank you, Sherri, for all of your quality work, time and commitment to our agency. You rock!

Gay Alliance names Scott Fearing as Executive Director

Look Who’s Riding!

No more snow! It’s bike-riding weather and we are gearing up for Ride For Pride 2014! Now in our fifth year, we hope to beat our $22,000 record from last year and raise $25,000!

We have 38 riders registered to ride on June 14 and we have already raised $4,600. If you would like to support one of our riders, just go to: http://www.gayalliance.org/events/rideforpride.html and click on a rider’s name. You will be redirected to their secure fundraising page.

Take a look at who’s riding: Stefan Baer John Braun Alice Steed Carver-Kubik Adrianne Chesser Jodie Dawson Les Eisenberg Scott Fearing Alicia Fioco Bradley Flower Ed Freedman Hayden Freedman Jeanne Gainsburg Shimona Gorelick Kala Gorelick Aaron J Gorelick Kerry Hanratty Dustin Hilton Pete Horrocks Matthew Krueger Karen Managan Brian Managan Jesse McCarthy Leann Michael Manuel Pena Pamela Polashenski Maya Polashenski Ronald R. Pratt Steve Santacroce Ryan Stickney M. Josh Sullivan Lucky Summer Light Terrance Nichols Noah Wagoner Brigid Waterhouse Jonathan Wetherbee Owen Zacharias Sara Zacharias David Zona

Library & Archives Hours: Every Monday & Wednesday: 6-8pm 875 E. Main Street, (off Prince St. lobby) 1st Floor, 585.244.8640

Youth Update: Zombie Prom is May 3

By Dawn Balsis Spring is finally here! That means it is prom season.

The Gay Alliance is excited to be hosting the Ninth Annual Big Gay Prom on May 3 at the Diplomat Banquet Hall. This annual event is attended by youth, ages 13-20, from all around the state.

The Big Gay Prom is an event where you can be yourself and feel safe. This year’s theme is ‘80s Zombie Prom. We encourage attendees to come is their most tubular ‘80s outfit. Come as a zombie as well if you choose or we will have a zombie makeup station at the prom. We cannot wait to see what rad outfits our FABULOUS youth come up with.

The Big Gay Prom starts at 7 p.m. and ends at 11 p.m. No entrees after 9:30 p.m. Doors open at 6:30 p.m. Please bring a government issued ID or school ID. The ticket price is $20. Tickets can be purchased in advance at the Gay Alliance, fifth floor, 875 E. Main St., and Fabulous Friday, 7-9 p.m., Open Arms MCC, 707 E. Main St. Tickets will also be available at the door. Be there or be square.

The Board of the Gay Alliance has named Scott Fearing as Executive Director, effective April 1. Scott steps into his new role from an 11-month assignment as the Interim Executive Director of the Alliance.

Gay Alliance Board President David Zona reflects on Scott’s appointment: “Scott has done a fantastic job as Interim ED and has proven in very short time that he is the right candidate to take the agency into the next phase of its development.

As the world around the GAGV evolves, so do the needs of its stakeholders. Scott has the ability to drive the agency forward in meeting these ever-changing needs. He also possesses a long history with the agency and surrounding local community; this is a key factor to understanding what is important and relevant.

Our future as LGBTQ individuals is very intimately tied to our past. Scott understands this.”

Scott has been with the Gay Alliance for eight years, serving as Education Director prior to his tenure as Interim Executive Director. He has received national acclaim for his work as an LGBTQ educator, most notably in conjunction with the Mayo Clinic and the University of California.

Volunteer for Roc Pride 2014 and unmask your True colors What better way to enjoy Roc Pride 2014 than to be a part of it?

We are seeking volunteers to help us with the Parade, the Festival and the Picnic on Saturday, July 19 and Sunday, July 20. Come join the fun and get a free ticket into the event that you work and an official Roc Pride tee shirt!

If you are already a Gay Alliance volunteer you do not need to register. You will get information on Roc Pride volunteer opportunities automatically. If you have never registered as a Gay Alliance or Pride volunteer, you can do so at this link: http://www.gayalliance.org/support/volunteer.

Pride: We’re Full Of It!

The Gay Alliance is a non-profit agency, dedicated to cultivating a healthy, inclusive environment where Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning (LGBTQ) people are safe, thriving, and enjoying equal rights. We are a coalition of individuals and groups working to empower LGBTQ people to affirm their identities and create an atmosphere where the diversity can thrive both collectively and separately. We educate and advocate for civil rights for all and for the eradication of homophobia.

The Gay Alliance, 875 East Main Street, Rochester, New York 14605 • Phone: (585) 244-8640 Fax: (585) 244-8246 Website: www.gayalliance.org E-mail: Info@gayalliance.org Hours: Monday-Friday, 9 am-5 pm • Board President: David Zona Board Vice President: Jessica Muratore Executive Director: Scott Fearing Education Director: Jeanne Gainsburg Database: Kat Wiggall Youth Intern: Dawn Balsis Bookkeeper: Christopher Hennelly Office Administrator: Tristan Wright The Empty Closet: Editor: Susan Jordan Graphic Designer: Jim Anderson E-mail: susanj@gayalliance.org Phone: (585) 244-9030 Fax: (585) 244-8246 Advertising: (585) 244-9030 Advertising: (585) 244-9030 Ad Sales: Brandon W. Brooks E-mail: brandonb@gayalliance.org

may 2014 • number 478 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

Gay alliance news for may 2014

D n oGAR D n oGAR

The Gay Alliance On-Line Resource Directory (GARD) The online community tool providing local, statewide and national resources, 24/7 at: www.GayAlliance.org

Senior Service Provider Training set for May 9

By Jeanne Gainsburg Understanding the Challenges: LGBTQ Cultural Competence Training for Providers of Services to Older Adults will take place on Friday, May 9 from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. (registration and check in at 8:30 a.m.) in the Canteen Room at the Rochester Red Cross, 50 Prince St., Rochester 14607).

Please join us for this fast-paced, dynamic, informational cultural competency training. We will focus on understanding the unique barriers to care faced

by LGBTQ seniors, how to create an environment at senior service agencies that is inclusive and welcoming of diversity, and how to ensure that LGBTQ seniors at your agency are able to acknowledge their life experiences and age with dignity and respect.

The cost is $75 per person, donuts/ bagels and lunch included. To register, go to www.gayalliance.org and click on the yellow slide. ■

Untitled (Youth Poem) What if we lived in a society Where heterosexuality was the “abomination”?

“Adam and Steve, not Adam and Eve!” Where same sex couples tell their children not to look at the breeders “Eww he kissed a girl! That’s so straight!”

But no, I can’t say that or I’ll seem like a pro gay extremist.

That I’m trying to force my “agenda” down your throat And trying to recruit you all into my “perverted lifestyle” Imagine this Lady Gaga being the Anita Bryant of our generation Damning the straight community to hell for their blasphemous ways And “Long live the gays!

Where the youth would end their sentences with “No hetero” And straight teenagers being bullied because of their opposite-sex attractions And rising anti-straight factions Telling them they are abominations And that they’re a disgrace to our nation Straight boy being told that he should kill himself Goes home and grabs the pistol off his shelf BANG BANG BANG Three bullets in the head “There’s one more hetero who’s better off dead” A homo like me can only dream, right?

But no!

That would make me like the bigots with their anti gay speeches Using God as a weapon against his people What happened to “We the People”?

“One nation under God”?

More like discrimination by his “holier than thou” believers Using the cross as a weapon And the Bible as their shield to defend their faith Religion becoming the next World War Three All because of faggots like me Trying to oppress me with statistics of gay suicides And Faggot, Queer and Homo “Sticks and stones may break my bones” But words pierce the hearts of those you crushed with your heterosexism Implanting fear in those with little faith in themselves Homophobia striking at wrists and necks with razor blades and nooses All because you figure the “femme faggot” is a nuisance Society labels my fallen brethren as “just another gay suicide” I know this isn’t why Jesus was crucified Not for this act of mental genocide Acting as if we are insects and the word faggot is a pesticide Stepping all over us like we are ants and you’re God’s insecticide Using the Lord’s name to make your actions glorified And the Bible to make yourself justified Now I’m not saying that all Christians are evil I’m just saying wake up, people! The times aren’t mediaeval Gay marriage is a reality And I will gladly fly the rainbow flag for my homosexuality!

By Zach, 17

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SAGE yoga class. Instructor Tom Somerville is seated back row.

MAY SAGE calendar May 1 ����10:30 Yoga, 11:30 Leave for lunch at Cheeburger Cheeburger, 1000 North River St. at the Port of Rochester.

May 6 ����10:30 Yoga, 11:30 Lunch, Bring Brown Bag & Beverage; 1pm Seasonal Meals with Reba.

May 8 ����NO YOGA, 10:30 Breakfast at FRIENDLY’S 2425 W. Henrietta Rd. Movie day at Movies 10.

May 13 ���10:30 Yoga, 11:30 Leave center for Lilac Festival, Bring your lunch or purchase food at the food tent.

May 15 ���10:30 Yoga, 11:30 Lunch Bring Brown Bag & Beverage, cards and games.

May 20 ��10 am to 1:30pm - Chatting at Crossroads Coffeehouse with our hostess Roza. 752 South Goodman Street, Rochester 14620. Phone: 585-244-6787, call for driving directions.

May 27 ��10-1:30 pm – Crossroads coffee shop (See address for Spot Coffee from May 20 date.) Let’s play Get To Know Our SAGE Members through interactive games. (Hosting will be Jessica and Roza).

May 29 ��10am-noon Spot Coffee with Jessica as your hostess, while enjoying light refreshments. Spot Coffee address is 200 East Ave., Rochester 14607. Driving directions at 585-613-4600.

SAGE (Senior Action in a Gay Environment) 50+ Center: Open Arms MCC, 707 East St.

The Gay Alliance Speaking Engagements, April 2014 • • • • • • • •

Two Shoulders To Stand On Film and Discussion Sessions at Trillium Health LGBTQ Veteran Issues for the Veteran’s Affairs Interns Queer Showcase at RIT Intersectionality Between Race & LGBTQ Indentities Panel at Open Arms MCC LGBTQ Issues in Social Work at SUNY Brockport/Metro Center Transgender Issues in Healthcare at Syracuse VA Medical Center Transgender Basics at Damon Campus of MCC SafeZone Train-the-Trainer Certification Program at Lehigh Carbon Community College, PA • Human Library Presentation at Penfield Library • LGBTQ Policies at Lifespan • Two Classes on Discrimination and LGBTQ Issues at SUNY Brockport • LGBTQ Issues in Social Work at SUNY Brockport • Health and Wellness Fair at Greater Rochester Collaborative MSW Program • Shoulders To Stand On Film and Discussion at RIT Q Center • LGBTQ Identities at the Chatterbox Club of Rochester • LGBTQ Panel Presentation at the Center For Dispute Settlement • LGBTQ 101 at Bryant & Stratton College • Brockport Pride at SUNY Brockport • SafeZone Train-the-Trainer Certification Program at Shasta College, CA • Shoulders To Stand on Film and Discussion at MuCCC Theater • Two classes on Prejudice and Bias at SUNY Brockport Quotes: “Encouraging, Educational, Personal, Awesome! The presenters really practiced what they preached. I feel well prepared to host a training session. A wonderful day of learning – left feeling energized (huge accomplishment for a Friday afternoon!)”

“I do not usually like workshops, but this one was great. It was all fantastic.

The presenters were exceptional.”

“Best workshop ever for train-the-trainers. I have learned so much. Loved everything.”

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Resources Check our monthly and ongoing calendar as well as the community section for more groups and events. For further information, call the Gay Alliance at 244-8640 or visit: www.gayalliance.org. Gay Alliance Youth Group info: pages 30-31.

BISEXUALITY resources

AMBI Los Angeles; American Institute of Bisexuality (Journal of Bisexuality); Bay Area Bisexual Network; Bi Café; Bi Definition: Milwaukee; BiNet USA; Bisexual Organizing Project (BOP); Biversity Boston; Boston Bisexual Women’s Network; ComBIne - Columbus, Ohio; Dallas/ Fort Worth Bi Net; Fenway Health’s Bi Health Program; Los Angeles Bi Task Force; New York Area Bisexual Network; Robyn Ochs’s site; Seattle Bisexual Women’s Network; The Bi Writers Association; The Bisexual Resource Center (email brc@biresource.net)

CULTURAL

Rochester Women’s Community Chorus 234-4441. (See Ongoing calendar).

Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus www.thergmc.org

deaf services

Advocacy for Abused Deaf Victims Mailing address: c/o ASADV, P.O. Box 20023, Rochester, NY 14602. 24-Hour Hotline: ASADVhope@gmail.com; VP: 866-936-8976; TTY/ FAX : 585-232-2854.

Lilac Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf (LRAD) Meets second Saturdays, 6-9pm. For location, information: rcoaster@rochester.rr.com Spectrum LGBTIQ & Straight Alliance RIT/NTID student group. <SpectrumComment@groups.facebook.com

Elders

Gay Alliance Rainbow Sage Many monthly get togethers, some at Open Arms MCC 707 E. Main St. 875-9428; SAGE@gayalliance.org

family

CNY Fertility Center Integrative Fertility Care. Support meetings, webinars, workshops. Information: cbriel@cnyfertility.com; www.cnyhealingarts.com Rochester Gay Moms’ Group Support group for lesbian mommies and wannabe mommies in Rochester and surrounding areas. Subscribe: RochesterGayMoms-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.

Lesbian & Gay Family Building Project Headquartered in Binghamton and with a presence throughout Upstate NY, the Project is dedicated to helping LGBTQ people achieve their goals of building and sustaining healthy families. Claudia Stallman, Project Director, 124 Front St., Binghamton, NY 13905; 607-7244308; e-mail: LesGayFamBldg@aol.com. Web: www.PrideAndJoyFamilies.org.

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) PFLAG’s threefold mission: supporting parents and family members in coming out process; educating the community; advocating on behalf of LGBT family members. PFLAG@gagv.us; 585-244-8640 x27.

Adoptive Parent Support Group Monthly potluck lunches. For information, location, call Shari, 350-2529.

Angel Food Ministry Box of fresh/frozen food for $30 in advance.

Menu changes monthly. For information and distribution sites, call 585 861-4815.

HIV/AIDS Free testing for HIV exposure is available from New York State Department of Health: call Rochester Area Regional Hotline at (585) 423-8081, or 1 800 962-5063 for pay phones or calls outside Rochester. Deaf or hearing impaired people should call (585) 4238120 (TDD.) New Rapid HIV Testing now available in 30-40 minutes! Statewide information can be obtained by calling 1 800 541-AIDS. Other organizations which provide AIDS-related services are as follows:

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 478 • may 2014 Volunteer Legal Services Project (585) 232-3051; www.vlsprochester.org. 1 West Main St., Suite 500 Rochester, NY 14614. Free legal services for low-income HIV positive clients. No criminal cases. Appointments are scheduled at area medical provider locations or by calling 295-5708.

Trillium Health Trillium Health is the leading provider of HIV/ AIDS services in Rochester and the Finger Lakes. On-site services include HIV testing and limited STD screenings, Primary and HIV Specialty Medical Care, Pharmacy, and many more.

Satellite offices in Geneva and Bath. Trillium Health is also a leader in providing services and education to members of the LGBT community.

Contact Information: Website: www.trilliumhealthny.org. Main Office: 259 Monroe Ave., Rochester, NY 14607; Main Phone: 585-5457200, Health Services After Hours: 585-2583363; Case Management After Hours (Lifeline): 585-275-5151; Fax: 585-244-6456. Finger Lakes Office: 605 W. Washington St., Geneva, NY 14456, 315-781-6303. Southern Tier Office: 122 Liberty St. Box 624, Bath, NY 14810 607-776-9166. The Health Outreach Project: 416 Central Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; 585-454-5556.

Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley Referrals to physicians and service agencies.

(585) 244-8640; www.gayalliance.org.

Victory Alliance University of Rochester Medical Center. One of several research sites worldwide that comprise the HIV Vaccine Trials Network. Rochester site conducts research vaccine studies sponsored

by National Institutes of Health (NIH). 585-7562329; www.vaccineunit.org.

Threshold At The Community Place, 145 Parsells Ave., third floor, 585-454-7530. Provides confidential HIV, STD testing and General Health Care, ages 12-25. Sliding fee scale, no one denied, most insurances accepted. Mon., Wed., Fri. 9am-5pm; Tues., Thurs., 9am-7pm; Sat. 10am-2pm. www.ThresholdCenter.org Center for Health and Behavioral Training of Monroe County 853 Main St., Rochester 14611. Collaboration of Monroe County Health Department and U.R. Provides year-round training in prevention and management of STDs, HIV, TB and related issues, such as domestic violence and case management. (585)753-5382 v/tty.

Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/ Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Tollfree Helpline: 1 866 600-6886. Offers confidential HIV testing and information. When you make your appointment, be sure to ask about our sliding scale fees. No one is turned away for lack of ability to pay.

Rochester Area Task Force on AIDS A collection of agencies providing a multiplicity of resources and services to the upstate New York community. Their offices are located through the Finger Lakes Health Systems Agency, which also provides medical literature and newspaper clippings, as well as demographic and statistical data for use in developing health care services. (585) 461-3520.

The MOCHA Center of Rochester Our mission is to improve health and wellness in communities of color. Youth drop-in center, HIV testing, peer education, support groups, computer lab, referral services and more. 107 Liberty Pole Way (corner of Pleasant). (585) 420-1400.

Monroe County Health Department at 855 W. Main St., offers testing and counseling for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. (585) 753-5481.

Strong Memorial Hospital provides a complete range of HIV medical care, including access to experimental treatment protocols, and HIV testing. Also provides individual and group psychotherapy. Training of health care professionals also available. Infectious Disease Clinic, (585) 275-0526. Department of Psychiatry, (585) 275-3379. AIDS Training Project, (585) 275-5693.

Planned Parenthood of Rochester and Genesee Valley Offers testing and information (585) 546 2595.

Rural HIV testing Anonymous and confidential, in Allegany, Livingston, Ontario, Schuyler, Seneca, Steuben, Wayne or Yates Counties, call 1 800 962-5063.

Action Front Center (Action for a Better Community.) Provides HIV prevention education and case management services. Training and technical assistance to service providers. Resource library open to public. All services free and confidential. Multi-

cultural and bilingual staff. 33 Chestnut St., second floor. Hours 8:30-5pm, Monday-Friday.

262-4330; fax 262-4572. Free anonymous HIV testing on walk-in basis, Tuesdays, Wednesdays 1-4pm, provided through NYSDOH. Thursdays 1-4pm at Aenon Baptist Church, 175 Genesee St. Anthony L. Jordan Health Center, Prevention and Primary Care.

Provides Medical Case Management, Mental Health, Primary Care, HIV Counseling and Testing (using rapid testing) Hepatitis C rapid testing and services, Educational Presentations, and access to other Jordan Services. Prevention and Primary Care is a walk-in program; no appointment necessary. Office Hours are Monday thru Friday 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. For more information call (585) 423-2872; fax (585) 423-2876. Website www.jordanhealth.org. For more information, call the Program Manager Charlie Lytle,(585) 423-2872.

CDC National STD and AIDS Hotline 1-800-CDC-INFO (800-232-4636) 24 hours a day. TTY service: 1-888-232-6348. E-mail address: cdcinfo@cdc.gov.

Fair Housing Enforcement Project of Monroe County 585-325-2500; 1-800-669-9777. Deals with housing discrimination on basis of race, orientation, HIV status, etc.

Public Interest Law Office of Rochester 80 St. Paul St., Suite 701. Free legal services to HIV positive persons, families. Spanish bilingual advocates available. All civil cases except divorce; no criminal cases. Ask to speak to someone in PILOR. 454-4060.

Evergreen Health Services, Buffalo Primary care, HIV and family care, HIV testing and counseling. (716) 847-0328 Westside Health Services Brown Square Health Center, 175 Lyell Ave. (254-6480); Woodward health Center, 480 Genesee St. (436-3040). HIV/AIDS services, support, more.

McCree McCuller Wellness Center at Unity Health’s Connection Clinic (585) 368-3200, 89 Genesee St., Bishop Kearney Bldg., 3rd floor. Full range of services, regardless of ability to pay. Caring, confidential and convenient.

Catholic Charities AIDS Services A multicultural and bi-lingual staff providing services to a diversity of people infected and affected with HIV. Coordinates HOPWA (Housing Opportunities for People with AIDS) short term emergency assistance with rent/mortgage/utility payments and limited subsidized housing. 1945 E. Ridge Rd., Suite 24, Rochester NY 14622. (585) 339-9800.

Huther Doyle 360 East Ave., Rochester 14604. Offers drug, alcohol prevention, education, treatment. Risk Reduction Plus Team offers services to HIV positive and those at risk through substance use. Programs include outreach, transitional case management, free cconfidential testing (OraQuick Rapid Testing). NYS Dep’t. of Health offers free on-site confidential and anonymous testing. (585)325-5100, M-F 8am-9pm, www. hutherdoyle.com.

Geneva Community Health 601 W. Washington St., Geneva. Provides HIV testing, HIV specialty and primary care for residents of Ontario and surrounding counties.

Mon.-Thurs. 9am-5pm; Fridays 9am-noon.

315-781-8448.

lgbt health

For a list of LGBT-friendly and competent health and human service providers in the Rochester and Finger Lakes area, visit the resource directory page(s) at www.everybodysgood.com.

Trillium Health See www.trilliumhealthny.org

HCR Home Care

We provide a full multidisciplinary team consisting of nursing, social work, physical, occupational, and speech therapies as well as home health aides who have completed the eight-hour cultural competency program provided by the Gay Alliance. For more information, contact us at 585-272-1930 or visit us online at HCRhealth.com.

Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley See www.gayalliance.org Resource Directory under “Health” for Gay Alliance referrals to physicians and service agencies.

CNY Depression Bi-Polar Support The Depression Bi-Polar Support Alliance of Central New York Support Group Adult Group meets the third Thursday of every month from 6 p.m.-7:30 p.m. at SAGE Upstate, 431 E. Fayette St, Syracuse, NY 13202. The Youth Group

meets the second Monday of every month from 5 p.m.-6:30 p.m. at Transitions Living Services, 420 E. Genesee St., Syracuse, NY 13202.

TRANSGENDER

Trans*Alliance of Greater Rochester Social/educational group for gender variant people and friends. Last Saturday, 3-5pm, GAGV 5th floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640. www.rnytg.org

Empire Justice Center Julia A. Sáenz, Esq. Hanna S. Cohn Equal Justice Fellow, Empire Justice Center, LGBT Rights Project, Telesca Center for Justice, 1 West Main Street, Suite 200, Rochester, NY 14614.

(585) 295-5721 Fax (585) 454-2518, jsaenz@empirejustice.org, www.empirejustice.org.

Volunteer Legal Services Project (585) 232-3051; www.vlsprochester.org.1 West Main St. Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14614. Free legal services for low-income clients seeking a name change. Other legal services for low-income clients include family law issues, bankruptcy, unemployment insurance hearings, wills and advance directive documents for clients with serious illnesses.

Gay Alliance Youth Gender Identity Support Group Thursdays 5:30-6:30 GAGV Library, 1st floor, off Prince St. lobby 875 E. Main St., Ages 13-18. 244-8640 Genesee Valley Gender Variants Thurs. 7-9pm, Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. GVGenderVariants@yahoogroups.com Guys Night Out Social group for transmen. Third Saturdays, 1pm, Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. tguysnightout@gmail.com

Women

lesbians of color www.oursistacircle.com.

The first social networking site for lesbians of Black, Asian, African American, Latina, Native American, Pacific Islander, Chicano, Biracial & other lesbians of color, launched 2009. OurSistaCircle the first free social networking site to offer Skype mental health counseling. No nudity policy on member profiles. Currently 10,800 active members.

Highland Hospital Breast Imaging Center 500 Red Creek Drive, Rochester 14623; 585487-3300. Specializing in breast health, diagnostic breast imaging and treatment and mammography outreach and education.

Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester 840 University Ave.; 585-473-8177; www. bccr.org; email: info@bccr.org. Breast Cancer Coalition provides support services that include programs designed to help those coping with a recent breast cancer diagnosis and those coping with an advanced breast cancer diagnosis, such as the Advanced Breast Cancer Support Group to support women living with metastatic breast cancer. Information about breast cancer, lending library, a monthly educational program.

All BCCR programs, support services free.

Monroe County Women’s Health Partnership 111 Westfall Rd., Rochester NY 14692; (585) 274-6978. Comprehensive breast cancer screening services for uninsured and underinsured women.

Elizabeth Wende Breast Clinic 170 Sawgrass Drive. 442-8432. Dr. Wende Logan-Young and an all-woman staff provide mammograms.

Self Help for Women with Breast or Ovarian Cancer (SHARE) 1-866-53SHARE or 1-866-537-4273.

Alternatives for Battered Women 232-7353; TTY 232-1741. Shelter (women only), counseling. Lesbians, gay men welcome.

Victim Resource Center of Wayne County Newark N.Y. Hotline 800-456-1172; office (315)331-1171; fax (315)331-1189.

Mary Magdalene House Women’s outreach center for HIV positive women and women at risk. 291 Lyell Ave. Open Mon-Fri. 6:30-9:30pm 458-5728.

Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/ Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Tollfree Helpline: 1-866-600-6886. Planned Parenthood has led the way in providing high quality, affordable reproductive health care since 1916. All services are confidential.

Accept most insurances; including Medicaid.

You may qualify for low- to no-cost family planning services. When you make your appointment, ask about our sliding scale fees. No one turned away for lack of ability to pay.

Women’s Resource Center YWCA, 175 N. Clinton Ave. 546-7740.

may 2014 • number 478 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

Ongoing Calendar Mondays

L.O.R.A. Coffee Social Weekly on Monday Nights, 7 pm. Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. Rochester. Family, Friends & Allies Welcome! Contact Person: Cathie Timian.

More info: www.loragroup.org. Events: https:// www.facebook.com/groups/L.O.R.A.14464/.

Email: info@loragroup.org LORA Late Bloomers Coming Out Group for Women 2nd & 4th Mondays of the Month. 7 pm, Private Location. Call for info! Contact Person: Wanda Martinez. Email: sanlorenzena@yahoo. com. Phone: 585.414.9164. More info: www. loragroup.org. Events: https://www.facebook. com/groups/L.O.R.A.14464/

Gay Alliance Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center. Every Mon./Wed. 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640

Born That Way Formerly 3rd Presbyterian LGBT Support Group.

First, 3rd Mondays, 7:30-9:30pm, 34 Meigs St. Carol, 482-3832 or Kaara, 654-7516.

Free syphilis testing Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave., 5-8pm. 4422220.

Rochester Historical Bowling Society 7:15pm, Mondays. Clover Lanes, 2750 Monroe Ave. (Group is full.)

HIV Positive Men’s Support group Every Monday, 5pm, Trillium Health Center for Positive Living, 259 Monroe Ave. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers Mondays, 6pm, George Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org.

Steps Beyond Stems Crack Support Group, Mondays, 7-8pm, 289 Monroe Ave.

Tuesdays

Charlie’s Group 2nd Tuesdays. Monthly peer-facilitated support group for married men who have sex with men.

Confidential, free. For time, place: email: charlie@gayalliance.org.

The Social Grind 10am-12noon and again 7:30-9pm at Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. Email: DHutch457@ aol.com for information Women’s Community Chorus Rehearsals each Tuesday, 6:30-9pm, Downtown United Pres. Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh Street. 234-4441, www.therwcc.org Free HIV Testing 9am-7pm. Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave. LORA Knitters Group 1st & 3rd Tuesdays of the Month. 7pm-9:30pm, Crossroads Coffee House, 752 S. Goodman St. Rochester. Contact Person: Kerry Cater Email: dressyfemme@aol.com. More Info: www.loragroup.org Events: https://www.facebook.com/ groups/L.O.R.A.14464/

Wednesdays Identity Group The Identity Group is for LGBT identified individuals who have a developmental disability diagnosis. The group meets Wednesdays 3-4 pm at ARC Health Services (2060 BrightonHenrietta Townline Rd. 14623). The goal of the group is to provide a safe space to discuss identity issues, share personal experiences and increase self-esteem. The group is facilitated

by Delaina Fico. LMSW. For more information, please contact Delaina Fico at dfico@arcmonroe.org or 585-271-0661 ext. 1552.

Gay Alliance Board of Directors Meets Third Wednesdays, 6pm, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640 New Freedom New Happiness AA Gay meeting, 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd. Men and women. Open.

Support Group for Parents who have lost Children First, 3rd Wednesdays, 11am-12:30pm, Third Presbyterian Church, 4 Meigs St. Genesee Region Home Care. Free. 325-1880 COAP Come Out and Play. Wednesday game nights.

8-11 pm. Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. 7pm, woody14619@yahoo.com.

Rochester Rams General Meeting 2nd Wednesdays, 7:30pm, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. www.rochesterrams.com Brothers Keeper Support group for men over 30. Third Wednesdays, 5:30-7:30pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way. 420-1400 HIV+ Mixed Men’s Group Wednesdays, 11:30 am-12:30 pm.

Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 6pm, Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org.

Gay Alliance Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center. Every Mon./Wed. 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640 Empire Bears Every Wednesday. 6pm dinner at The Wintonaire. www.empirebears.com

Thursdays

Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns 6:30pm, first Thursday. Ralph, 271-7649 Gay Alliance Youth Gender Identity Support Group Thursdays, 5:30-6:30, GAGV Library, 1st floor, off Prince St. lobby. 875 E. Main St. Ages 13-18. 244-8640.

Pride at Work First Thursdays, 5:30pm. 1354 Buffalo Road, Rochester 14624, 426-0862.

GLOB&L (Gays & Lesbians of Bausch & Lomb).

Meets every third Thursday in Area 67 conference room at the Optic Center. Voice mail: 338-8977 Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus Downtown United Presbyterian Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh St. 6:30-9pm, 423-0650 Free confidential walk-in HIV testing Every Thursday night, 5-8pm, Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave. 442-2220 Out & Equal Second Thursdays Social/business networking, 5:30-7:30pm.

Changing venues. E-mail: fingerlakes@outandequal.org Genesee Valley Gender Variants 7-9pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. GV GenderVariants@yahoogroups.com LORA - Buffalo Women’s Coffee Social Weekly on Thursday Nights, 6pm. Spot Coffee, 765 Elmwood, Buffalo. Contact Person: Barb Henderson Email: Morningstar5588@yahoo. com More Info: www.loragroup.org. Events: https://www.facebook.com/groups/buffaloles/

FRIDAYs

Gay Men's AA meeting Fridays, 7:30-8:30pm, Closed meeting.

Emmanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. Gay Alliance Youth Fridays, 7-9pm, Open Arms MCC, 707 E. Main St., 244-8640 GLBTQI Motorcycle Group Second Fridays, 5:30pm, Various locations.

RochesterGLBTIQbikers@yahoo.com; 4676456; bmdaniels@frontiernet.net.

LORA GaYmes Night Meets 4th Friday of the Month, 7-10pm, Equal Grounds Coffee House, 750 South Ave. Rochester. Contact Person: Christine O’Reilly. Email: irishfemmerochester@yahoo.com. Phone: 585.943.1320. More Info: www.loragroup.org.

Events: https://www.facebook.com/groups/ L.O.R.A.14464/ Crystal Meth Anonymous Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. at Brunswick. Meeting every Friday 4 pm in the basement.

SATURDAYs

Rochester Rams Bar Night Third Saturdays, 8pm-2am, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. 271-6930 LGBT Family Pride Rochester Meets 2nd Saturday of the Month. 1-3 pm.

Crossroads Coffee House, 752 S. Goodman St. Rochester. Contact Person: Christine O’Reilly.

Email: irishfemmerochester@yahoo.com.

Phone: 585.943.1320. More info: www.loragroup.org. Events: https://www.facebook. com/groups/L.O.R.A.14464/

Rochesternygrrlz.

Cross dressers social/support group. 4-6 pm, third Saturdays, at Gay Alliance, 875 E. Main St., fifth floor. https://groups.yahoo. com/group/rochesternygrrls/ Trans*Alliance of Greater Rochester Social/educational group for gender-variant people, friends. Last Saturdays, 3-5:30pm, GAGV fifth floor, 875 E. Main St. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 9am, George Eastman House parking lot.www. rochesterfrontrunners.org.

Empire Bears Potluck 2nd Saturdays, GAGV, 875 E. Main, 5th floor, 6:30pm greet; 7pm dinner. Bring dish to pass. www.empirebears.org.

Cross Dresser Support Group First Saturdays, 6-9pm, call for location: 251-2132; RCDNET@hotmail.com Guys Night Out GNO, social group for transmen, now meets on the second Saturday of the month, @ 1pm @ Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. Saturday Night Special Gay AA 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd., S. Men and women. Open meeting.

Lilac Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf (LRAD) 2nd Saturdays, 6-9pm. rcoaster@rochester.rr.com Sophia’s Supper Club First and third Saturdays. http://www.inspiritual.biz/online-spiritual-evolution-gro/

Sundays

Parents Families & Friends of Lesbians And Gays (PFLAG) For location: 244-8460; pflag@gayalliance.org.

Rochester General Assembly Sundays, Flying Squirrel Community Center, 285 Clarissa St. Crystal Meth Anonymous Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. at Brunswick. Meeting Sundays in the basement.

Unity Fellowship Church Sundays, 1:30 pm, Lutheran Church of Peace, 125 Caroline St., 14620. 520-6188.

Dignity-Integrity 1st Sunday: 5pm Episcopal Eucharist with music; 2nd Sunday: 5pm Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word with music; 3rd Sunday: 5pm Episcopal Eucharist (quiet); 4th Sunday: 5pm Prayers to start the week, followed by potluck supper.

Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church 707 E. Main St. Rochester, 10:30am, 271-8478

Gay Men’s Alcoholics Anonymous St. Luke’s/St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. 8pm, 232-6720, Weekly.

Closed meeting Men’s Cooking Group Third or fourth Sundays, 355-7664.

LORA Sunday Brunch 1st & 3rd Sunday of the Month, 11:30am 1:30pm. Jays Diner, 2612 W. Henrietta Rd., Rochester. Contact Person: Cathie Timian.

More info: www.loragroup.org. Events: https:// www.facebook.com/groups/L.O.R.A.14464/.

Email: info@loragroup.org Gutter Gals - Bowling 2nd & 4th Sundays, 6:30pm - 9:30pm. Bowl A Roll, 1560 Jefferson Rd. $5.70 for 2 games & $2.50 for shoes. For more info: http://www. facebook.com/groups/guttergals/Contact Person: Cathie: Email: ctimian@l-o-r-a.com; Phone: 585.313.3037

33

Rochester AA/NA Meetings

Every week there are four regularly scheduled GLBTI AA and two inclusive NA meetings in Rochester.

Tuesdays

Narcotics Anonymous 6-7:30pm. AIDS and Recovery 1124 Culver Road (Covenant United Methodist Church) This is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who have a desire to stop using. Although it is not specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities, as well as to anyone who is affected by HIV and AIDS.

Wednesdays

New Freedom/New Happiness Group 7pm. First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: Take the last #18 University bus to 12 Corners. Use the stop just past the top of the hill at Hillside Ave. and before Highland Ave. Or take the #1 Park Ave. to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton.

This is an open discussion meeting. All issues – as they relate to our alcoholism/addiction and recovery – are fair game.

Fridays Gay Men’s 7:30pm. Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. • Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • Handicapped accessible This is a round-robin discussion meeting. If you are shy about meeting people or speaking up in a group, you will find this meeting particularly warm and inviting because everyone gets their turn to speak (or pass). As a result, this meeting often runs long, so plan on more than the usual hour.

Saturdays Saturday Night Special 7pm. First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: The #18 University Ave. bus does not go by the church on weekend evenings. Take the #1 Park Ave. bus to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton.

• Open meeting, all are welcome, “straight friendly” • Mixed men and women • Handicapped accessible, take elevator to basement Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

Sundays Step in the Right Direction 7:30-9pm. 1275 Spencerport Road (Trinity Alliance Church) This is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who have a desire to stop using.

Although it is not specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities. Each week features a reading from NA literature, followed by discussion.

Rochester Gay Men 8pm. St. Luke/St. Simon’s Episcopal Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh Street. Bus riders use the Fitzhugh Street stop on Main Street at the County Office Building and walk south one block.

• Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • NOT handicapped accessible Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

34

May SATURDAY 3

‘80s Zombie Prom. Diplomat Party House, Lyell Ave. 7-11 pm. Doors open 6:30 pm. Gay Alliance Youth Group, ages 13-20. Bring government issued ID or school ID. Wear what you like; makeup artist available for that zombie look…

Tickets $20; can be purchased in advance at Gay Alliance, fifth floor, 875 E. Main St., and Fabulous Friday, 7-9 p.m., Open Arms MCC, 707 E. Main St. Tickets will also be available at the door.

SUNDAY 4

Dignity Integrity. Episcopal Mass/ Healing Service, with music. 5 pm at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Hotline at 585-234-5092; www.di-rochester.org/ RIT Third Annual Color Run. 10:30 am, RIT campus. Some proceeds to Gay Alliance, Trevor Project. For location see www.rit.edu/studentaffairs/reslife/ritcolorrun/ Rochester ACTS Covenant Celebration. 3-4 pm, Trinity Emmanuel Presbyterian Church, 793 Jefferson Ave. (between Shelter and Magnolia Streets).

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 478 • may 2014

THURSDAY 8

Out & Equal Second Thursdays Networking. 5:30-7:30 pm, Marshall St. Bar & Grill at Monroe Ave. and Marshall.

Washington DC screening of Shoulders To Stand On, sponsored by U. of Rochester, at Human Rights Campaign, 1640 Rhode Island Ave., from 6:30-8:30 pm. Free; hors d’oeuvres, open wine and beer bar. Space limited; advance registration required. To register, go to www. rochester.edu/alumnievents. For more information, call 877-635-4672 or see alumni@rochester.edu.

FRIDAY 9

Senior Service Provider Training by the Gay Alliance. 9 am-5 pm (registration and check in at 8:30 am) in Canteen Room at Rochester Red Cross, 50 Prince St. $75 per person, donuts/bagels and lunch included. To register, go to www. gayalliance.org and click on the yellow slide.

SATURDAY 10

Free mammograms for women over 40, provided by Highland Breast Imaging Center, Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester, the Cancer Services Program of Monroe County. 8 am-12 pm. 500 Red Creek Drive, Ste. 130. Food, music, beverages, free Reiki sessions. For appointment: call 585-487-3304 or 585-487-3305.

Trans* Alliance of Greater Rochester (T*AGR). Planning meeting. 3-5 pm, Gay Alliance, fifth floor, 875 E. Main St.

Classifieds Classified ads are $5 for the first 30 words; each additional 10 words is another $1. We do not bill for classifieds, so please send or bring ad and payment to: The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, New York 14605.

Paying by check: checks must be made out to Gay Alliance. The deadline is the 15th of the month, for the following month’s issue. We cannot accept ads over the phone. Pay when you place your ad. We will accept only ads accompanied by name and phone number. Neither will be published, but we must be able to confirm placement.

The Empty Closet is not responsible for financial loss or physical injury that may result from any contact with an advertiser. Advertisers must use their own box number, voice mail, e-mail or personal address/phone number.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Kidney donor wanted. I am looking for a kidney donor for my brother Rick.

He lost both of his kidneys to polycystic kidney disease. He has been on dialysis for five years and is in desperate need of a kidney. Most of us have two kidneys and can function at 100% with one. The donor must be 60 or younger, normal blood pressure, no diabetes, no skin cancer and no kidney stones. My son’s partner donated a kidney to a stranger and I am hoping that there is another generous person out there in the LGBTQ community who is willing to be tested to see if they are a match. Contact joyceh317@gmail.com for more details.

Children’s Ministry thriving at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church for toddlers to ‘tweens. Join us for vibrant, inclusive, progressive worship on Sundays at 10:30am. 740 Marshall Road off Chili Avenue. info@openarmsmcc. or (585) 271-8478

SERVICES

Rochester’s Best Man to Man Rubdown. Unwind with this degreed, employed, fit, friendly, healthy, Italian GWM. Middle aged, 5’8”, 165 lbs., 32” waist, nonsmoker, d & d free, HIV negative. My 10-plus years experience guarantees your relaxation and satisfaction.

Hotel visit, in call in my home or out call in your residence. Reasonable rates. Discretion appreciated and practiced. Don’t delay, call me today at 585-773-2410 (cell) or 585-235-6688 (home) or e-mail me at: magichands@rochester.rr.com.

Wedding Space and clergy services available. Celebrate your special day at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church 740 Marshall Rd. off Chili Ave. info@openarmsmcc.org (585) 271-8478 Handyman: Simple repairs or full renovations, no job is too large or small.

Carpentry, Plumbing, Electrical, Interior & Exterior. 35 years experience. Call Alan & Bill 585-204-0632 or cell 304517-6832.

Martin Ippolito master electrician.

Electrical work, telephone jacks, cable TV, burglar alarm systems, paddle fans.

585-266-6337.

Hate to paint or clean gutters? I have tall ladders! Dale’s Pleasure Painting and Gutter Cleaning has very reasonable rates for painting year round and gutter cleaning in spring or fall. 585-576-5042. Email dale.furlong@yahoo.com.

Looking for housecleaning jobs.

Years of experience; pays attention to detail; lots of references; great organizer; reasonable. Call Katrina at 585-360-2895.

Selling an eclectic array of jewelry.

Cameos, vintage-retro, rhinestones, beads including crystals, enamel, copper, silver/ gold tone, some sterling, Whiting and Davis. Great pieces for jewelry designers too! Call 585-360-2895.

Cleanouts for complete households residential and commercial. Call Steve for estimates: (585)750-5672.

Selling vintage stuff including lots of art, old books, jewelry and more. Call Steve at (585)750-5672. ■

“More Than Us”: Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus benefit dinner and musical revue. Zeppa Auditorium, 315 Gregory St. MC Darienne Lake. 6 pm cash bar; dinner 7 pm, show starts 7:30. Tickets are $55 for both dinner and show, and $30 for show only. Go to www.thergmc.org or call 423-0650.

SUNDAY 11

Dignity Integrity. Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, with music. 5 pm at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Hotline at 585-234-5092; www.di-rochester.org/

THURSDAY 15

Deadline For June Empty Closet.

244-9030; Susanj@gayalliance.org.

SATURDAY 17

Rochesternygrrlz. Cross dressers social/support group. 4-6 pm, third Saturdays, at Gay Alliance, 875 E. Main St., fifth floor. https://groups.yahoo.com/ group/rochesternygrrlz/ Empire State Pride Agenda Spring Dinner. Sen. Brad Hoylman, keynote speaker; Stephen Wallem, MC. Reception 5:45 pm, dinner and program, 7 pm.

Rochester Riverside Convention Center.

SUNDAY 18

Dignity Integrity. Episcopal Mass. 5 pm at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Hotline at 585-2345092; www.di-rochester.org/

THURSDAY 29

Drag auction, hosted by Gay Alliance and South Wedge Spirits and Wine. A celebration of wine, art and drag culture.

6 pm at South Wedge Spirits & Wine, 661 South Ave. Featuring Lady Dee and Taylor Mayde. $40/person. Reservations available at 585-319-5159.

SATURDAY 31

Trans* Alliance of Greater Rochester (T*AGR). Discussion support group.

3-5:30 pm, Gay Alliance, fifth floor, 875 E. Main St.

JUNE THURSDAY 5

“Just Gender”. 7 pm, Little Theatre.

Rochester was chosen as one of 20 cities in the country to host a premiere of this film

by George Zuber during the first week of June. Excellus is the Exclusive Sponsor and the Gay Alliance is the presenting organization, partnering with T*AGR (Trans*Alliance of Greater Rochester). See June EC for more details.

FRIDAY 6

Shoulders To Stand On documentary on 40 years of Rochester LGBTQ history airs on WXXI, 6:45-10 pm. DVDs, BluRay DVDs available at www.gayalliance. org. ■

FRIDAY 23

“Milk” screening, honoring Harvey Milk stamp issued on May 22. 6 pm, Open Arms MCC, 707 E. Main St. Cosponsored by Gay Alliance. Youth Group members will make “Milk” shakes. Free.

SUNDAY 25

Dignity Integrity. Evening Prayer, followed by potluck dinner. “Picnic Foods.” 5 pm at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Hotline at 585-234-5092; www.di-rochester.org/

Donating through the United Way? The Gay Alliance number is

1135

ASK EM BY JUSTIN HUBBELL

Thank you.

may 2014 • number 478 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

The Empty Closet is published by the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500 Rochester, New York 14605 © 2014, All rights reserved.

Editor-in-Chief: Susan Jordan Staff Reporter: Ove Overmyer Graphic Design: Jim Anderson Ad Sales: Brandon Brooks (brandonb@gayalliance.org Advertising policy: The Empty Closet does not print advertisements that contain nude drawings or photographs, nor does it print advertising that states that the person pictured in the ad is for sale, or that you will “get” that particular person if you patronize the establishment advertised. Advertisements that are explicitly racist, sexist, ageist, ableist or homophobic will be refused; advertisements from organizations that are sexist, racist, ageist, ableist or anti-gay will also be refused. All political advertisements must contain information about who placed them and a method of contact.

Additionally, The Empty Closet does not print negative or “attack” advertisements, whether they relate to a product or politics and no matter in whose interest the ad is being produced. A negative advertisement is defined as one that focuses upon a rival product, or in the political area, a rival election candidate or party, in order to point out supposed flaws and to persuade the public not to buy it (or vote for him or her). The Empty Closet maintains, within legal boundaries, neutrality regarding products, political candidates and parties. However, “attack” ads that fail to provide undisputable evidence that the information in the ad is true do not further in any way the objectives and policies of the Gay Alliance or The Empty Closet, including the primary tenet that The Empty Closet’s purpose is to inform the Rochester gay community and to provide an impartial forum for ideas.

Submissions: For publication, submit news items, ads, photos, letters, stories, poetry, ads, photographs or art by mail or in person to The Empty Closet office by the 15th of the month.

Design services for non-camera ready ads are available for a fee. 244-9030, susanj@gayalliance.org Publication Information: The Empty Closet is published 11 times a year (December and January combined) by The Empty Closet Press for the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, Inc. Approximately 5000 copies of each issue are distributed during the first week of the month, some by mail in a plain sealed envelope. The publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles is not an indication of the sexual or affectional orientation of that person or the members of that organization. For further information, please write to The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main St., Rochester NY. 14605, call (585) 244-9030 or e-mail emptycloset@gagv.us.

The Empty Closet is the official publication of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, Inc., as stated in the bylaws of that organization. Its purpose is to inform the Rochester gay community about local and national gayrelated news and events; to provide a forum for ideas and creative work from the local gay community; to help promote leadership within the community, and to be a part of a national network of lesbian and gay publications that exchange ideas and seek to educate.

Part of our purpose is to maintain a middle position with respect to the entire community. We must be careful to present all viewpoints in a way that takes into consideration the views of all – women, men, people of color, young and old, and those from various walks of life.

The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet. The Empty Closet shall not be liable for any loss or expense that results from the publication (whether correctly or incorrectly) or omission of an ad. In the event of non-payment, your account may be assigned to a collection agency or an attorney, and will be liable for the charges paid by us to such collection agency or attorney.

Letters to the editor: The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet. We will print letters at the editor’s discretion and on a space available basis. Only one letter by the same writer in a six-month period is allowed.

We will not print personal attacks on individuals, nor will we be a forum for ongoing disputes between individuals. We reserve the right to edit for space and clarity. We will print anonymous letters if the name and phone number are provided to the Editor; confidentiality will be respected.

Submissions are due by the 15th of the month at: The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14605; e-mail: emptycloset@gagv.us. The online edition of EC is available at www.gayalliance.org.

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the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 478 • may 2014