Empty Closet April, 2014 by Out Alliance

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number 477

a publication of the gay alliance

april 2014

Evelyn Bailey receives the AAUW Community Education Award from Barbara LeSavoy. Photo: Ove Overmyer

AAUW presents education award to Evelyn Bailey By Susan Jordan The American Association of University Women included an award to Evelyn Bailey of Shoulders To Stand On in their International Women’s Day event on March 8. The AAUW advances equity for women and girls through advocacy, education, philanthropy and research. The event, which took place at 494 East Ave., focused on the theme “Unfinished Business: Politics, Education and Work”. Women still do not make the

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Will Pellett, Dr. William Valenti and Cody Gardner at the March 13 talk back at JCC. Photo: Adam Young

same pay as men for equal work; the national bill to reform the way the military handles rape and sex abuse cases, sponsored by New York Sen. Kristen Gillibrand, was filibustered successfully by the Republican Party this winter, and many other civil rights are still denied to women in America in 2014. Indeed, reproductive rights won decades ago are under attack across the country by the radical Right. Kate Cerulli, director of the Susan B. Anthony Center for Women’s Leadership at the University of Rochester, spoke about the upcoming 125th Anniversary Celebration of the National Council of the Women of the U.S., which was held at Hunter College on March 28. Deborah Hughes, Director of the Susan B. Anthony House, presented her Votes for Women History Trail 2020 Community Quilt Project. Barbara LeSavoy, director of (AAUW continues page 6)

Pride Agenda hosts GENDA forum here on April 9; lobby in Albany April 29 The Empire State Pride Agenda will host a Forum on the Gender Expression Non-Discrimination Act on Wednesday, April 9 at 6 p.m. at Downtown Presbyterian Church, 121 North Fitzhugh St. For more information, please contact Sheilah Sable at ssable@ prideagenda.org or (518) 6498135. Equality & Justice Day takes place this year on Tuesday, April 29 in Albany. Kye Allums, the first transgender NCAA Division 1 college athlete, will be taking the stage for the rally at the Capitol on Equality & Justice Day. Equality & Justice Day is the New York LGBTQ community’s opportunity to play a key role in campaigns, meet legislators face to face, build crucial skills and conference with hundreds of New York’s most dedicated change-makers. ■

“The Normal Heart” panels focus on today’s HIV, political realities By Eileen Fay In the AIDS Education Poster Collection at the University of Rochester (available online) there is one from ACT UP that says “Our anger comes from our pain.” Such is the theme of Larry Kramer’s autobiographical play The Normal Heart, which premiered in New York City’s Public Theater in 1985 and was staged more recently at the Jewish Community Center in Brighton from March 8-23. Starring Stephen Cena as Ned Weeks, the play chronicles the journey of a Jewish gay man living in New York City from 1981-84 as he struggles to bring the growing HIV/AIDS epidemic to national attention during the Reagan era. With the exception of Dr. Emma Brookner (Kerry Young) and Ned’s brother Ben (Roy Wise), all the characters are gay men who are forced to confront the growing danger in their midst. Ned is a very driven, passionate individual who finds meaning in fighting injustice. As a Jew, he is very aware of a how a historically persecuted minority can be destroyed while the rest of the world does nothing. He fights not only against a disease but also against social apathy

towards the deaths of marginalized people, as well as inertia and entrenched ideology within the gay community itself. After all, it was not long ago – and still true in many parts of the country – that gay men faced ruin and imprisonment simply for having consensual sex. The HIV/AIDS crisis, however, highlighted, quite brutally, the importance of legitimacy as real contributing members of society with full recognition under the law. “I belong to a culture,” says Ned, “that includes Proust, Henry James, Tchaikovsky, Cole Porter, Plato, Socrates, Aristotle, Alexander the Great, Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, Christopher Marlowe, Walt Whitman, Herman Melville, Tennessee Williams, Byron, E. M. Forster, Lorca, Auden, Francis Bacon, James Baldwin, Harry Stack Sullivan, John Maynard Keynes, Dag Hammarskjöld... The only way we’ll have real pride is when we demand recognition of a culture that isn’t just sexual.” Some of the most heartbreaking moments of the play occur between Ned and his partner, Felix Turner (Carl DelBuono), whose looming death empha-

Ukraine and Uganda… page 7

sizes the significance of marriage equality and the social and institutional recognition it grants to same-sex love – all of which was only a dream in the 1980s. Unfortunately, although it often seems that he is shouting in the wilderness, Ned Weeks is also incredibly judgmental and at times downright bullying. At moments where diplomacy is called for, he resorts to shouting, swearing, and name-calling. He clashes in particular with Bruce Niles (Jake Purcell), a closeted banker and president of the foundation Ned established, who advocates a more tactful approach. While Ned is obnoxious by anyone’s standards, as the bodies pile up so does sympathy for his desperation. Likewise, his colleagues at the foundation, Tommy Boatwright (Darlando Eanon) and Mickey Marcus (Daniel Mejak), sink from a general cheerfulness into a mire of fear, stress, and paranoia even as they develop real strength of leadership in the face of enormous difficulty. Dr. Brookner, however, represents a spot of hope as the survivor of another feared disease. “No one gets polio anymore,” she says, referring to the success of the (Heart continues page 3)

Inside

Editorials....................................... 2 Local/State News........................ 3 National/International News..... 4 Interview: Rev. Jim Mulcahy, Richard Lusimbo........................................... 7 Health..........................................15 LGBTQ Living: Suburban Life.....17 Shoulders To Stand On ...........21 Columnists ................................22 Community ................................25 Entertainment: Phantom...........27 Gay Alliance: Volunteers.............30 Calendar.....................................34 Classifieds..................................34 Comics................................ 34, 35 The Gay Alliance is publisher of the Empty Closet, New York State’s oldest LgbtQ newspaper.

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 477 • april 2014

Gay Alliance Board of Trustees

Perspectives The Empty Closet Editor Susan Jordan

Uganda, Ukraine and U.S.A. The Interview this month (see page 7) actually consists of two statements, one by Richard Lusimbo, exiled from his home in Uganda, and the other by the Reverend Jim Mulcahy, exiled from his adopted home in Ukraine. Richard, 27, is a member of Sexual Minorities Uganda (SMUG). As a known gay outed by a tabloid paper, if he goes home he is in danger of being arrested and put on trial for “aggravated homosexuality” – penalty, life in prison. Rev. Jim’s visa expired just before the Russian invasion of Crimea, and the State Department won’t issue him a new one, as Ukraine is deemed too dangerous for Americans. Now an Orthodox priest, he hopes to obtain a visa for Moldova and travel from there to Ukraine, to continue his work helping oppressed LGBTQ people. North American and Western European evangelicals have incited homophobia for over 30 years in Eastern Europe, Africa, the Caribbean, South America and elsewhere. They have thrown gasoline on the fires of hate, advocating not merely for anti-gay discrimination, but for imprisonment and even death for LGBTQ people – either via legal execution or mob violence. Scott Lively is one of those evangelicals. He is currently

being sued by SMUG in a Massachusetts court on charges of crimes against humanity. If he is compelled to take responsibility for the blood on his hands, that will be a powerful message to other hate-mongers that they can and will be held accountable. Lively and his cohorts, such as Tony Perkins of the hate group Family Research Council (he advocated for Russia’s anti gay laws) are doing elsewhere what they would love to do here. That is, to make homosexuality illegal and send gays to prison – or as one minister put it, confine us behind barbed wire and watch us die. Since that is not likely to happen any time soon, they content themselves with trying to ban our marriages, destroy our families and make all kinds of discrimination legal, on the grounds of “religious freedom”. It seems they cannot be spiritually free unless they have the power to harm the many people they hate. They were thrilled by the passage of the Ugandan AntiHomosexuality Act, which among much else mandates that anyone who does not turn in the gays they know – including their own children – will be subject to arrest. The sad and ironic thing about Uganda is that they – and the governments of Nigeria, Zimbabwe, Ethiopia and Cameroon, among others – are buying the evangelicals’ message that homosexuality is a foreign perversion imported into heterosexual Africa by western gays, inspired by Satan. The reality of course is that homosexuality is and has always been a natural part of human sexuality, and the only thing being imported into Africa is the values of the racists, slavers and colonialists of the past. Formerly colonized countries are now following the lead of the heirs of colonialism – the western ultra-conservatives who secretly despise and seek to control their former colonies. ■

David Zona, President, Jessica Muratore, Vice-President, W. Bruce Gorman, Secretary, Peter Mohr, Treasurer, Jason Barnecut, Chris Hilderbrant, Emily Jones, Jeff Lambert, Jeff Markarian, Steve Santacroce, William Schaefer, Chris Woodworth

Gay Alliance Executive Director Scott Fearing

Assessing the moment The Gay Alliance finds itself at a unique place in our organization’s 41-year history. Many of the social and personal challenges that led to the creation of the organization have changed drastically. Other groups that have struggled for equality and inclusion have stood at this juncture. While each group faced different types of bias, different forms of discrimination, and different challenges from the medical and legal systems, the common experiences of being made into second class humans and citizens presents us with valuable lessons. Look to the women’s movement, or the racial justice movements, and to the Deaf and Disability rights movements, as examples of other “outsiders” who have struggled for inclusion and you will clearly see that achieving legal equality does not end bias and discrimination. “Never again,” the cry that we often hear from the Jewish community, is an important and powerful reminder that history is prone to repeat itself. Like these other communities we must remain united and vigilant. Nationally we see LGBTQ organizations moving from doing work that can be described as “therapeutic” to work that focuses on “empowerment.” LGBTQ community is NOT

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built upon by an illness, but by the power of self identity. We take pride in doing work that not only helps people survive but helps them to thrive. For forty-one years the Gay Alliance has played an important role in leading discussions of LGBTQ issues. This is a position we hold with honor and a role we take seriously. As we have endeavored to restructure our work, we sought out advice from experts in organizational change. One thing was made clear to us. To create a strong organization we needed to answer the question What do we do better than anyone else? For the Gay Alliance the answer to that question is as simple as it is complex. What we do better than anyone else is to champion LGBTQ rights, life and culture. The Gay Alliance is the local expert on the LGBTQ communities. We are the place to call. We answer questions, make referrals, provide education, inform and connect. We champion individuals as we champion social inclusion -- we champion LGBTQ life and culture as it is today, as we honor our history and we hold a vision for our future. As we do our work, we value, honor and respect all other human identities because we know that LGBTQ people are as diverse as all human kind. We are as gender diverse as we are racially, economically, generationally and ethnically diverse. We have different abilities and disabilities, we speak different languages and have a variety of faith traditions. Each of these diverse identities is fully welcomed in our work because we understand that they are essential to who we are. Because we champion LGBTQ life and culture, so we envision a future where all members of the greater Rochester area LGBTQ communities, at all stages of their lives, are respected as fully participating citizens, living lives that are safe and stable. ■ 04/14

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april 2014 • number 477 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

page one (Heart from page 1) Salk vaccine. (The character is based on the late Dr. Linda Laubenstein, one of the first doctors to treat HIV/AIDS, who died of polio in the ‘90s). March 16: “The Next ACTUP: Activism and Rights in 2014” Even if there is a vaccine or cure developed, will everyone necessarily benefit from it? This is the question raised by a short talk-back panel discussion on “The Next ACT-Up: Activism and Rights in 2014.” held after the March 16 show. The speakers were Erik Libey of Trillium Health, Kaelyn Rich of the Genesee Valley Chapter of the NYCLU, and Courtney Michie of the Empire State Pride Agenda. Echoing the primary subject of The Normal Heart, Libey pointed out, “When people are not politically healthy, they are not healthy.” Michie agreed, reminding us that same-sex marriage, though vital, is not the endgame of LGBT equality. LGBT people, especially women and trans* folk, have some of the lowest insurance rates, yet some of the most pressing health issues. For example, there was a local trans woman who broke her arm in a bicycling accident and whose insurance refused to cover her x-ray and cast because they don’t do “transgender healthcare.” What this is, essentially, says Rich, is institutional opposition to your right to exist as a healthy person. Indeed, LGBT healthcare has grown from focusing primarily on gay/bisexual men with HIV/AIDS to covering a whole range of conditions, such as mental health issues and substance abuse, which afflicts the LGBT community in higher numbers than the general population. Still, huge swathes of New York State are covered only by a single organization based in a major city like Rochester or Buffalo. LGBT people in small towns and rural areas remain very isolated, as are LGBT people in other parts of the country such as the Deep South and Bible Belt. The panel nevertheless ended on an optimistic note, noting changing attitudes among the younger generation. Still, as demonstrated by both the speakers and The Normal Heart, healthcare and political equality are inextricably linked. As the motto of ACT UP goes, “Silence = Death.” Luckily, people are silent no more. The Normal Heart at the Jewish Community Center also featured Jason Ford, Russell Allen, Peter Doyle, and Edward Prunella. March 13 talk back: HIV realities today By Adam Young Following the March 13 performance of The Normal Heart at the Jewish Community Center, a talk-back session on “HIV in 2014” was held to discuss both the evolving prevention and treatment of HIV as well as morphing societal attitudes toward the disease. Currently the African American community and MSM (men who have sex with men but do not identify as gay) are experi-

encing the greatest number of HIV infections. Will Pellett, Community Health Specialist at Trillium Health, moderated the discussion. Panelists included Dr. William Valenti, Senior Vice President for Organizational Advancement, Co-Founder, and Staff Physician at Trillium Health, and Cody Gardner, Community Educator and Recruiter at the University of Rochester Medical Center. A representative from the MOCHA Center was unable to attend. Presented by Trillium Health for LGBT Health Month, the session began with discussion of the early perception of HIV as initially thought to only impact gay men. Dr. Valenti said that people began taking the disease seriously when it was viewed as affecting the population as a whole. “It finally got people’s attention in a very different way when we began to see HIV infection and AIDS in people other than gay men and injection drug users,” Valenti said. As the discussion shifted to emerging treatment, Cody Gardner described the HIV vaccine research being conducted through the Rochester Victory Alliance at the University of Rochester Medical Center. Gardner noted that HIV negative volunteers in the study are not exposed to any portion of the virus. Participants in the double blind study are injected with certain proteins that are unique to HIV to “trick [the] body.” The goal is to develop an immune response to combat the real HIV virus, should the individual be exposed to the virus later. Though current prevention techniques such as condom use can be very effective protection, they rely on an individual’s ability to use them properly and consistently, Gardner said. One newer medication available, Pre-exposure HIV Prophylaxis Prevention (PrEP), is a combination of two drugs taken daily to lower one’s risk of acquiring HIV. Although mainly directed at gay men, Trillium Health has recently begun efforts to educate the whole community about PrEP as a treatment option for other groups as well. In general, people with STD infections are at a higher risk of contracting HIV, said Pellett. Dr. Valenti noted there may be side effects associated with PrEP, particularly in older patients, but that overall the drug is “well tolerated.” In discussing current and future treatment, the panel agreed there is no single blanket treatment for everyone affected by HIV. “I think of it as a toolbox and we are trying to develop various tools that are going to work for different people, for different groups of people, under different circumstances,” said Gardner. Although people may be uncomfortable talking about HIV and sex in general, the panel noted that open discussion with friends and outreach personnel is necessary to understand the different treatment options that can be tailored for an individual. “The Victory Alliance strategy of combining digital media and shoe leather… is probably one of the best prevention programs that I’ve seen in over 30 years,” said Valenti. (Heart continues page 6)

NewsFronts Local and State

Jeff Barhite with Henry and Fred.

In memory of Jeff Barhite Jeff Barhite passed away last month. Dr. William Valenti of Trillium Health wrote, “Jeffrey was a founding member of Helping People with AIDS and a tireless advocate for people with HIV/AIDS from the beginning of the epidemic.” From the Trillium FB page: “We are saddened by the death of our friend, Jeffrey Barhite. Jeffrey was a long time friend and advocate for our legacy Community Health Network (CHN) and, more recently, Trillium Health. “He was a former Development Director at CHN who conceived of the successful fundraiser ‘Knock AIDS for a Loop.’ This fundraiser, the first of its kind in the area, closed the Inner Loop for a day. Skaters solicited sponsors to support CHN and enjoyed skating on the trafficfree highway once a year. “We thank Jeffrey for a job well-done and send our condolences to his family and wide circle of friends.” From Dan Meyers: Quilting is often a metaphor for stitching a story together. For our friend Jeffrey it was a way of life long before he took up sewing quilts as an artist making cherished memories and beautiful hangings for family and friends. From higher education work in student life at Fisher to working in the membership office of the Memorial Art Gallery, learning from Chris Hyer, a founder of the Genesee Valley Chapter, Jeffrey did it all. He was successful a small business owner at J. Barhite Salon. He created an island of calm for many with his almost Zen like no drama way and speak when spoken to approach. Many strong relationships were forged in his chair (and a few were dismissed for insensitivity or intolerance). I remember when he won an early AFP Award as Volunteer Fundraiser of the Year. He created Knock AIDS for a Loop, closing the Inner Loop for inline skaters to circle the city on a Sunday morning raising money through pledges. He had already chaired Dining for Dollars and

wanted to do more for the cause he lived (and he just may be responsible for fostering the current idea of filling in the loop to connect the city to downtown!). There was a great front page feature about him when HIV was still hushed; he was fearless in telling his story and advocating for others. So, when he went to work at CHN (now Trillium Health), it was so natural and so right. He brought what he learned at the MAG and as a volunteer fundraiser; he added his business owner good sense, and he was a sponge to learn whatever he needed to advance the mission for which he was so passionate. The curious career path of J. Barhite makes an interesting quilt. But his masterpiece is the quilt of friends, colleagues, and neighbors he carefully selected (and he was choosy) and lined up in happy harmony to set off each’s best quality. He held us together with his wry humor, take no prisoners pronouncements, and his bone warming hugs. He was a fine artist of friendship whose excellent craftsmanship never showed… you just felt it, often as you saw his cap and dogs fade away after a visit. From Jim Bridges: Two communities, Rochester NY and Ogunquit Maine, lost a good friend and community leader on February 13, 2014. Jeffrey Barhite, 64, known for his wit, dedication to the fight against HIV /AIDS, and his expertise in the field of fundraising, will be missed by the many lives he touched. Jeff had several colorful careers: as a waiter, working in student life at St. John Fisher College, operating his own business, J. Barhite Salon, and as a fundraiser. He was also a tireless volunteer. To know Jeffrey was to know a man with strength of character. His friends will miss his wit and his willingness to give his opinion, his warmth and caring spirit. He brought laughter and joy to everyone he met, and he met a lot of people. In 1997, he conceived and planned “Knock Aids for a Loop”, closing the Inner Loop for inline skaters to circle the city on a Sunday morning. The event, held for three consecutive years, not only raised funds for

Community Health Network, but helped lift the stigma off those living with HIV/AIDS. Jeff was willing to put a face on those with AIDS - to be out about his status at a time when many were not. In the promotional materials for the event, Jeff was quoted: “One of the most surprising facts of living with this disease has been an incredible opportunity to become involved with the HIV/AIDS community, in particular, at Community Health Network (CHN) on their Board of Directors and Patient Advisory Committee. I have learned so much. The face of HIV/AIDS changes almost daily; advances in technology and medicine may even take this disease to a manageable chronic illness instead of a death sentence. CHN has kept me alive and healthy for nine years and I want to give something back.” The Association of Fundraising Professionals gave Jeffrey an award as Volunteer Fundraiser of the year for conceiving and planning the innovative event. When Jeffrey retired from his hair salon, he spent 15 years as a fundraising professional, mentoring others with his balance of wit, honesty, and love. He served on the Board of the AFPGV. Jeff loved the Maine seacoast, and after retirement, spent the last few summers there. He loved the beach and his two dogs, Henry and Fred, and developed a community of friends from his neighborhood and regular beach-goers. His friends in Maine have established “Team Jeffrey” for the Southern Maine AIDS walk/run on May 3 and hope to raise $3000 in his honor. To participate: http://peabodycenter.kintera. org/faf/search/searchTeamPart. asp?ievent=1065429&lis=1&kn tae1065429=56C8FC091DA04 FFFA0811DA728D8DD85&te am=5874832 During his winters in Rochester, he nurtured his relationships with his long-held friends, continued his hobby of quilting, and volunteered at St. Joseph’s Neighborhood Center. Jeffrey will be missed by his many friends who he touched with his humor, warm smile, and heartfelt embrace. ■

Sid Metzger

Remembering Sid Metzger, HIV/AIDS social worker Feb. 28 marked the passing of Sidney (“Sid”) Metzger. Sid (female) was Community Health Network’s first social worker. Dr. Bill Valenti writes, “Sid holds the distinction of being one of the first, if not THE first person to do HIV/ AIDS social (Metzger continues page 6)

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 477 • april 2014

NewsFronts national and international

Britney Cosby and Crystal Jackson.

Father murdered daughter, lesbian partner, mom says The Houston Chronicle reports: The father of one of two women whose bodies were found last week on the Bolivar Peninsula was arrested Thursday in connection with the deaths. James Larry Cosby, 46, of Houston, is charged with two counts of tampering with evidence in the deaths of his daughter, Britney Cosby, and Crystal Jackson, according to the Galveston County Sheriff’s Office. Both women were 24. Deputies said Cosby is in the Galveston County jail in lieu of $500,000 bail. Charges against him, deputies added, may be upgraded to capital murder as the investigation continues. Cosby was arrested after investigators interviewed him about the case following a vigil in Houston for the slain women, said Galveston County Sheriff Henry Trochesset. Police have revealed that Jackson was murdered by gunshot and that Cosby’s daughter died from blows to the head. The father attended the vigil for the couple. -JoeMyGod.com Joe Morgan posted on gaystarnews. com: A Texas dad is being accused of murdering his own daughter and her partner because he disagreed with their “lifestyle.” Police believe James Cosby, 46, blud-

geoned daughter Britney Cosby to death and shot her girlfriend Crystal Jackson on 6 March. The bodies were found the near a dumpster around 7:30 a.m. the next day outside a Fisherman’s Cove food mart... Britney’s mother has told police that Cosby was angry his daughter was gay. “He said it to me a few times that he did not like the idea of her being gay,” Loranda McDonald told KHOU-TV. “But, like I told him, there’s nothing we could do about that. That’s who she is. We can’t change her lifestyle.” Cosby, a registered sex offender, was released from prison after 12 years in October. His daughter and grandmother allowed him to move in and live in the garage. The murder weapons have not been recovered and Britney’s car, a 2006 Kia Sorento, is still missing. In the house, pools of blood were discovered and fingerprints were found on a piece of paper that was found on the bodies. And in his bedroom, the Quran was open to a page condemning homosexuality. But there is a further mystery. The man that dumped the bodies as seen on CCTV cameras appears to be far shorter than Cosby, who is 6 foot five inches. But Cosby’s mother is certain her ex is involved. She said she left the man over his violent tendencies. “I think they should lock him up, don’t let him out,” she said. “Give him the chair, I want him

to suffer.” - See more at: http://www.gaystarnews. com/article/mom-father-killed-lesbian-daughter-and-her-partner-beinggay170314#sthash.8ChKWxkR.dpuf

Federal judge removes ban on Michigan marriage equality In the first trial on marriage for gay couples since California’s Hollingsworth v. Perry – and only the second since the first-ever freedom to marry trial in Hawaii in 1996 -- a federal judge has issued a landmark ruling that Michigan’s ban on marriage for same-sex couples is unconstitutional. Following last year’s Supreme Court decision in U.S. v. Windsor, Judge Bernard Friedman is the ninth consecutive federal judge to issue such a ruling overturning state marriage discrimination on constitutional grounds. Approximately 300 gay couples (see below) married in Michigan on March 22, one day after the judge struck down the state’s ban on gay marriage. On March 23, the Sixth Court Circuit of Appeals issued a temporary stay on the marriage ruling until March 25 when an emergency appeal could be heard. Michigan Governor Rick Snyder said late on March 23 that state agencies would wait to recognize the marriages that have been performed, the AP reports: “We are extremely sensitive to feelings on this issue and are hoping for a swift resolution for all involved,” said Sara Wurfel, spokeswoman for Gov. Rick Snyder... ...“We are not saying that we aren’t or won’t recognize the marriages that happened on Saturday, but that we’re awaiting further court or legal direction on this complex, unusual situation,” Wurfel told The Associated Press in an email March 23. “Either way, this can’t be construed one way or another as not recognizing the validity of the same sex marriages.” Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2wt4QSjae Lesbian couple marries before stay James Withers posted on gaystarnews. com: Two lesbians who have been together for 27 years became the first same-sex couple to marry in Michigan. On March 22, at 8 a.m., Glenna DeJong, 53, and Marsha Caspar, 51, were married by Ingham County Clerk Barb Byrum in Mason. The couple, who hail from Lansing, have been together for 27 years. “I figured in my lifetime it would happen,” Caspar said to the Associated Press. “But now, when it happens now, it’s just overwhelming. I still can’t believe it. I don’t think it’s hit me yet.” Freedom to Marry statement Evan Wolfson, president of Freedom to Marry, released the following statement: “The discriminatory ban is untrue to Michigan’s – and America’s – values, and

the judge was right to strike it down. It’s time that all committed couples in Michigan be treated with respect and dignity under the law, fully able to share in the freedom to marry and the responsibilities and protections marriage brings. Today’s win comes after a full trial -- complete with prosecutors and defendants, witness cross-examinations, and testimony from family experts on the well-being of children -- which showed that opponents have nothing more than the same bogus claims they have recycled for decades. They were simply unable to provide a single legitimate reason why committed same-sex couples should be excluded from marriage. Michigan, like all of America, is ready for the freedom to marry.” Michigan’s DeBoer v. Snyder is only the third full trial on the freedom to marry in history, following trials in Hawaii and California. 54 percent of Michigan residents support the freedom to marry, according to a 2014 Michigan State University poll. Human Rights Campaign statement The ruling also dealt a blow to the credibility of the anti-gay parenting junk science peddled by UT Austin sociologist Mark Regnerus. “The momentum for marriage equality is undeniable as yet another federal judge affirmed today that all loving and committed same-sex couples deserve to be treated equally under the law,” said Human Rights Campaign President Chad Griffin. “Today’s ruling in Michigan now joins similar rulings in Virginia, Kentucky, Texas, Ohio, Oklahoma and Utah. It’s clear that the law is on the side of LGBT Americans, and we are moving with increasing momentum toward the day when all loving and committed samesex couples receive the dignity and respect they deserve.” The Michigan ruling is particularly significant because Mark Regnerus, who authored a biased and flawed anti-gay parenting study that was conceived and funded by anti-gay groups, testified during the trial as a witness for the state. Regnerus again stated that he believed marriage was between one man and one woman. He also admitted that the report’s chief funder, the anti-gay Witherspoon Institute, wanted the study completed before the U.S. Supreme Court took up marriage equality. Hundreds of Regnerus’ fellow sociologists, the American Sociological Association, and even his own department at UT Austin have all spoken out against his anti-gay study. Friedman - who was appointed to the bench by President Ronald Reagan – wrote in his ruling: “The Court finds Regnerus’s testimony entirely unbelievable and not worthy of serious consideration.” Currently 29 states have constitutional amendments restricting marriage to one man and one woman. Same-sex couples can legally marry in 17 states and Washington, DC. Michigan ACLU statement “Today’s decision is a huge victory for

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april 2014 • number 477 • the gay alliance • the empty closet the people of Michigan. The momentum toward LGBT equality is accelerating as yet another federal court finds that denying same-sex couples the fairness and dignity of marriage is unconstitutional,” said Kary L. Moss, ACLU of Michigan executive director. “Public opinion has changed drastically since 2004 when voters amended the Michigan constitution to exclude same-sex couples from marriage. Today, across the political spectrum, Michiganders recognize that allowing same-sex couples to marry is a matter of fundamental freedoms, economic security, and family values.” The lawsuit was filed by private attorneys on behalf of an Oakland County lesbian couple – April DeBoer and Jayne Rowse – who have been together for more than a decade and are raising three adopted children. The children, however, are only able to have legal parent-child relationships with one of their parents because Michigan courts have interpreted state law to only allow couples to jointly adopt if they are married. The couple wants their children to have the security of having legal ties with both of them. The decision says that the state has no basis to exclude lesbian and gay couples from marriage, and the ban cannot be used to deny a child of a same-sex couple a legal relationship with both parents. Michigan’s constitutional amendment not only prohibited marriage, but virtually every form of recognition of samesex relationships, including civil unions, domestic partnerships, and even domestic partner health insurance coverage. “At its core, this case is about protecting Michigan families,” said Jay Kaplan, ACLU of Michigan LGBT Project staff attorney. “We are thrilled that the court found that there is no reason to deny loving, committed same-sex couples and their families the protections that come with marriage. By doing so, the court has underscored the American value that freedom is for everyone.” Judge Bernard Friedman held a two week trial in February that was primarily devoted to expert testimony about the well-being of children raised by same-sex parents. In his opinion, Judge Friedman rejected the state’s claim that only heterosexual couples make optimal parents, writing “there is simply no scientific basis to conclude that children raised in samesex households fare worse than those raised in heterosexual households.” He also said: “In attempting to define this case as a challenge to ‘the will of the people,’ state defendants lost sight of what this case is truly about: people. No court record of this proceeding could ever fully convey the personal sacrifice of these two plaintiffs who seek to ensure that the state may no longer impair the rights of their children and the thousands of others now being raised by same-sex couples.” Statements from attorney Dana Nessel and plaintiff April DeBoer: Dana Nessel: “Although ours was not the first case to put the parenting ability of gays and lesbians on trial, we fervently believe that it will be the last. Our trial record proved that gays and lesbians love and cherish their partners and their children just as much as heterosexual families do. Their families are no different and no less deserving of the equal protection of all state and federal laws.” Plaintiff April DeBoer: “Our family is ecstatic! We have waited so long for the day when I could call Jayne my legal wife and when both of us could have peace of mind knowing our three children would finally have two legal parents. Knowing

that day will soon be upon us means the world to us.” Michigan’s governor announced March 25 that he would not recognize the legal marriages performed on March 20 until the appeal had been settled.

18 horrors Ugandans now face under the AntiHomosexuality Act By Tris Reid-Smith on gaystarnews.com …The full horror of Uganda’s AntiHomosexuality Act is already shrouded in myth. Most know it’s draconian, few realize just how bad it is. The confusion has been fuelled by government lies, media misreporting and the fact the text of the act has only just become available. It was originally dubbed the ‘Kill the Gays Bill’ but the death penalty was replaced by life imprisonment before it became law. So here we explain the letter of the law and what it means for LGBTI people in Uganda. And some of the worst risks of the law aren’t even mentioned in the act – that it encourages mob attacks, police blackmail and media harassment. Life in jail 1 Gay or lesbian sex is now punishable by life imprisonment, even for a first-time offence. 2 ‘Sex’ in this case means not just anal or oral sex, but any sexual contact at all. 3 Touching another person with the ‘intention’ of homosexuality can be punished by life in jail. Even if they are touched through clothes. A kiss, holding someone’s hand or even patting them on the back – if deemed by the court to be an attempt to have sex – can land you in jail for life. 4 If you ‘attempt’ to have homosexual sex you can be jailed for seven years. The word ‘attempt’ is not defined, but it could be something as innocent as sending a sexy text message or asking someone out. 5 Those considered guilty of ‘aggravated homosexuality’ including repeat offenders, anyone with HIV or where you are having sex with under 18s, even if you are boyfriends or girlfriends and just a few days older. 6 An ‘attempt’ to commit ‘aggravated’ homosexuality could land you in jail for life. In other words, you could end your days in prison, just for asking someone for a second date. Attacks and blackmail 7 A large part of the bill focuses on ‘victims’ – those allegedly lured or forced into homosexuality against their will. They are guaranteed anonymity so journalists and others can’t name them. 8 As well as going to jail, those found ‘guilty’ of lesbian and gay sex may be forced to compensate their ‘victims’ for the ‘physical, sexual or psychological harm caused’. There is no limit on the amount of compensation a court may order you to pay. 9 Experts say all this may make the law a ‘blackmailers’ charter’. So-called ‘victims’ may report cases in the hope of getting compensation. 10 The law says ‘a victim of homosexuality shall not be penalized for any crime committed as a direct result of his or her involvement in homosexuality’. This could mean a ‘victim’ could assault a gay man or lesbian but it would be the gay man or lesbian who would be prosecuted, while the ‘victim’ would get away with it. 11 The bill also offers seven years in (18 horrors continues page 12)

Glenn Zermeño, LCSW Individual, Couple & Group Psychotherapy LGBTQ Concerns, Youth & Adolescents, HIV/AIDS, Relationships, Dealing with Conflict, Effective Communication, Anxiety, Depression, Body Image, Self-Esteem 25 Canterbury Road, Suite 311 • Rochester, New York 14607 Phone: 917-309-7508 • Email: glenn.zermeno@gmail.com

page one

(Heart continued from page 3) For more information about HIV testing, prevention and treatment options, contact Trillium Health at 1-800-2669292, www.trilliumhealthny.org. For more information regarding the HIV vaccine research at the Victory Alliance, contact (585) 756-2329, www.rochestervictoryalliance.org. For information on testing and the devastating effects of HIV on today’s African American community, contact The MOCHA Center, 420-1400; 107 Liberty Pole Way. ■

(AAUW continued from page 1) Women and Gender Studies at Brockport, presented Evelyn Bailey with the Community Education Award. She said that years ago, as an intern, she had thought Evelyn’s project of recording Rochester’s LGBT history consisted of “ambitious dreams”. She praised Evelyn’s accomplishments as an educator, political activist and historian, noting that she chairs Shoulders To Stand On, digitized 41 years of this newspaper, was project director for three NYS archive grants, writes the Shoulders To Stand On and History Corner columns for The Empty Closet, and was co-producer of the Shoulders video documentary, “10 years in the making.” “It’s a privilege to rub shoulders with you,” she told Evelyn. Evelyn Bailey responded, “Education has two components: learning and teaching. Over the past 10 years I have learned much about the contributions of the LGBT community and its struggle to become equal in all ways.” She said that STSO is one way to teach about the journey of the Rochester community to individual and collective liberty. “Shoulders To Stand On celebrates the brave men and women who had the courage to step out of the closet,” she said. She paid tribute to co-producer and director Kevin Indovino, “who made the film project come to life,” and thanked Gay Alliance past and present board members Bill Kelly, Bruce Gorman and Emily Jones, and the EC editor. Last year’s documentary premiere, she said, “was a teaching moment for the community.” AAUW also presented awards to distinguished Rochester civil rights activist Constance Mitchell, first African American woman elected to local office; “emerging leader” Angela Clark-Taylor, who works at the Institute for Gender and Women’s Studies; Caitlin Kitchenman of Women Helping Girls, and the late Thomas Ferraro, founder of Foodlink.

local and state (Metzger continued from page 3) work/ case management in a community setting outside a hospital. “Sid joined CHN in 1990 and retired in 2003. Sid and Jeffrey (Barhite) were good friends and worked together at CHN and were personal friends as well. “Sid was known for the condom jar on her desk, and, more importantly, for starting a Support Group for mothers of people with HIV/ AIDS. “Cora and her son, Fred, were my patients. I say both were patients because Fred was blind. He lost his vision due to CMV retinitis, a particularly cruel opportunistic infection in those days. He was in his 30s, had a design career going in New York City, and was a smart, witty, handsome devil. “When he lost his sight, he came back to Rochester where Cora became his caregiver – and his eyes. She came to every appointment with him. She was also his advocate. I can still hear her voice as she led him down the hall

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 477 • april 2014 – ‘This way, Freddie. Good morning, doctor’. And always a smile for everyone, despite her pain. One of my many memories of Fred was his wit. Blind and still had a sense of humor. “I thought his determination must have come from Cora. She was a tiny thing – but a powerhouse, nonetheless. And tough – if this was the way it was, then we’ll deal with it. And deal with it, she did. “Cora was the inspiration for what became a Mothers’ Support Group or The Moms. Organized and led by Sidney Metzger, one of the first HIV social workers anywhere on the planet. “Sid, as she was called, was another powerhouse. I first met her on the inpatient units at Strong Memorial Hospital when we were starting the HIV program there. We got to know each other a bit, liked each other – I admired her because she ‘got it.’ We could have a conversation and accomplish something – and, to this day, I like that kind of interaction – when it clicks, it clicks, and that’s a beautiful thing. “When we opened Community Health Network in 1989, we were swamped with patients – by mid 1990, we had 450 patients and were desperate for a social worker to do what has become known as case management but was called social work in those days. “The United Way paid her salary for the first two years – so we grabbed Sid from Strong and we were on our way. She asked me at one point, ‘What is it you want me to do?’ “We laughed about this all the time – …we honored her with our Founder’s Award in 2012. I said – ‘I don’t know – social work stuff. You’ll figure it out.’ “And she did – I honestly believe that she is the ‘inventor’ of HIV social work in a community medical setting – this was 1990, after all. “So Sid and Cora became friends. She and Sid talked for hours – we were still doing things that had never been done before -- on a daily basis. There were two drugs at that point that suppressed HIV, but made people sick. We learned to expect the unexpected, but never quite accepted the fact that we couldn’t have figured this or that out before it actually happened. “That brings me to another story of blindness. “Another young patient, Scott – a talented graphic artist and early patient. Around 1991, we were sitting in an exam room talking. I can still see him – he was seated and, all of a sudden, exclaimed – ‘I can’t see. It’s like a window shade and everything’s dark.’ “Shit, I thought to myself. I looked in his eyes with the ophthalmoscope and couldn’t see the cotton wool spots of cytomegalovirus. We dispatched him to the Emergency Room and admitted him, but it was too late. The opthalmologist found the spots – that weren’t there when he had his vision checked a month earlier. “The next day, Steve Scheibel and I reviewed the situation with Carol Williams, our chief nurse, also a defector from the Strong HIV clinic, and Sidney Metzger. I knew enough not to blame myself for Scott’s blindness, but at the same time, was numbed by the relentlessness of the whole HIV experience. “Sheesh, I thought – can’t we just catch a break here for a minute? The answer was always the same – we push ahead. ‘The work is too important not to’ (Scheibel’s words). “So, now we had two blind patients who used canes to get around. And a mother, Cora, like no other. Cora, who carried herself with grace, humor and determination. “If this is Monday at 10 a.m. – we knew where to find Sid – with The Moms. “Thank you, Sidney. “Rest well, Cora.”

Martha Burk

Martha Burk to speak at Equal Pay Day event Martha Burk’s answer to the question “What is the single biggest barrier for women in getting equal pay?” may surprise you. You think she would answer it’s because women take time off from the workforce to raise a family or to care for an elderly parent. Or that she would reference how jobs predominately held by women are paid less than jobs predominately held by men. No. Burk, who became a media sensation in 2002 for challenging the Augusta National Golf Club’s all-male membership policy, would answer that the single biggest barrier for women is not knowing how much they are being paid relative to their co-workers. Burk will be speaking in Rochester a few days ahead of Equal Pay Day, the date which symbolizes the extra days in 2014 women must work to earn what men earned in 2012. Her talk is titled “Equal Pay: We’ve Waited Long Enough!” and will be held April 3, 7 p.m., at the AAUW Perkins Mansion, 494 East Ave. “In many companies, you can be fired for talking pay with others,” explained Burk. Burk cited the example of Lilly Ledbetter. Ledbetter worked for two decades at Goodyear Tire and Rubber Company. It was only when she received an anonymous note, with her salary and the salary of her three male co-workers scribbled on it, that she realized she was paid less than the men for doing the same work. “It was because someone shared salary information with her,” Burk stated, “that Lilly could bring Goodyear to court for wage discrimination.” It is critical that New York State pass the Women’s Equality Act, Burk continued. The act contains a provision which would protect an employee’s right to share wage information with other employees, without being retaliated against. Burk is co-founder of the Center for Advancement of Public Policy, a research and policy analysis organization in Washington, D.C. She serves as the Money Editor for Ms. Magazine, and is a syndicated newspaper columnist and frequent blogger for Huffington Post. Her latest book is Your Voice, Your Vote: The Savvy Woman’s Guide to Power, Politics, and the Change We Need. Burk’s talk is sponsored by the Rochester Chapter of the National Organization for Women (NOW) and co-sponsored by the Greater Rochester Area Branch of the American Association of University Women (AAUW).

Gay Alliance takes a stand against racism By Jeanne Gainsburg The Gay Alliance is pleased to announce the Intersectionality Between Race and LGBTQ Identities Panel Presentation that will take place on Monday, April 7 from 7-8:30 p.m. at Open Arms MCC and is free and open to the

community. This is part of the month-long “Stand Against Racism” initiative spearheaded by the YWCA. We are partnering with the National Coalition Building Institute, the MOCHA Center, Open Arms MCC, Young Audiences of Rochester and the Center For Youth to bring about this wonderful opportunity. Dr. Marvin McMickle, President of Colgate Rochester Crozer Divinity School, will moderate this panel presentation where we will create a safe place to discuss how race and ethnicity come into play in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) communities. Our goals are to explore the intersectionality between sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, race and ethnicity; to increase awareness of the systems of oppression that creates multiple forms of discrimination; and to share ways that we can work together for racial justice. Panelists will share insights and experiences through personal stories and Q & A. Several of the panelists are Gay Alliance Speakers Bureau members. Please join us on Monday, April 7 from 7-8:30 p.m. at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church (707 E. Main St. Rochester, NY 14605).

NYC issues transinclusive student policy By Parker Marie Molloy on The Advocate On March 10 the New York City Department of Education unveiled guidelines designed to better accommodate and protect transgender students in all New York City public schools. The guidelines encourage schools to use a student’s chosen name and pronouns whenever possible — including on student IDs — with the notable exception being on official documentation, such as a transcript. Additionally, the guidelines advise schools to avoid requiring students to use locker rooms, restrooms, and other accommodations that conflict with their gender identity and expression. The guidelines also advise schools to comply with student requests to update names on official documentation upon receipt of a court order, and update gender on those same documents once a student submits a birth certificate or passport to school administration, demonstrating the updated gender. It should be noted that both New York state and New York City both require an individual to undergo some form of genital surgery in order to update a birth certificate. These are procedures not typically available to individuals under the age of 18. The new guidelines have drawn some criticism, as they don’t explicitly require schools to allow students access to facilities in correspondence with their gender identity, nor do they explicitly allow transgender participants in school sports, but rather advise schools to treat these on a case-by-case basis. “We are pleased to see the Department of Education issue guidelines that support transgender students in the New York City school system and applaud its commitment to take incidents of antitransgender harassment seriously,” said Michael Silverman, executive director of the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund in a release. “This is a big step in the right direction, but transgender kids face unique challenges in school that require more. Officials need to ensure that transgender students have the same opportunities as all students that allow them to thrive. That means treating them as the boys and girls that they are, including letting them use bathrooms that match their identities. Anything less stigmatizes them as the only boys and girls who are forced to use separate facilities.” Though considered less-than-perfect by some advocates, the revised policy would appear to be a significant step forward from the nation’s largest school district. As a state, New York lags behind a significant portion of the country in terms of

april 2014 • number 477 • the gay alliance • the empty closet protecting trans citizens. In 2003, New York banned employment discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, but removed gender identity language from the final bill. Efforts to expand those protections to trans individuals have repeatedly failed. That makes New York one of only four states to outlaw employment discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, but not gender identity.

Interview

Divinity School hosts lecture on Christian Faith and LGBT Experience on April 22 Since 1994, a collaborative of area churches and the Colgate Rochester Crozer Divinity School have sponsored a series of lectures called Christian Faith and LGBT Experience. In the fall the group invites a local speaker and in the spring a national speaker. On April 22, at 7 p.m., the Divinity School will host a national speaker for the LGBT Lecture. The speaker will be The Rev. Dr. Barbara K Lundblad, Professor of Preaching at Union Theological Seminary in New York City. Her title is “”Words Made Flesh: LGBT Experience and Preaching.” The lecture will be held at CRCDS and followed by a Q and A. The theme for the lecture week is KAIROS CRCDS. On the 23rd, the Gandhi Institute from the University of Rochester will be presenting at the JC Wynn Lecture; on the 24th Rev. Jeremiah Wright will be the speaker for the African American Legacy lecture.

NYC couple attacked in subway hate crime; witnesses do nothing J.P. Masterson and his partner Peter Moore had been celebrating their 10th anniversary when they were attacked by a man on the W. 4th Street subway station in Greenwich Village early on the morning of March 3. “I f--king hate faggots,” is what the suspect, believed to be about 5’8”, 170 pounds, and in his late 20’s, said to the couple before striking Masterson and pushing him toward the tracks, they say. Masterson added that he was very disappointed that when the attack happened, no one on the crowded subway platform called police or did anything. There were about 50 people on the platform at the time, he said. “I want my New Yorkers to step up and help me out, because, you know, at the end of the day, we’re all just people,” he said. But as he waited to undergo surgery, Masterson vowed that he is bruised, but not broken. “You might beat me down, and I might look real grotesque right now, but I’m still standing,” he said. -Towleroad.com ■

Richard Lusimbo of Sexual Minorities Uganda

A lot of fear has engulfed our community By Umulugele Richard Lusimbo On the 24th February the President of Uganda signed into law the Anti-Homosexuality Act 2014. This was done on live telecast on TV. The following day we woke up to shocking news with the red pepper, a local tabloid, publishing what it termed as the “Top 200 Homos”. This issue included names and pictures of people perceived to be gay. Many of the names included people who were not out to their families and community. With this kind of publication a lot of fear has engulfed our community, as people have gone into hiding in fear for their lives. Some have left the country or changed towns for safety reasons. Some have chosen not to keep in contact with us, as they fear that they will be outed. Going without communication, we are afraid that something would happen to them without us knowing. But all this has come to be because of the outing by the media. On Friday 28th February, I woke up to a call from a friend who had seen a copy of the red pepper that day. She told me that I was on the cover page, my picture, with the headline, “Top Gays speak out” and “How we became Homo”. With such misleading headlines, I just didn’t know what to do after this news. I felt weak and I could not move out of the house as I was afraid of what could happen to me. I was intended to travel that same day to San Francisco, but I couldn’t as I had not received my renewed passport and I didn’t know how I could get it, now that I was on the cover page. I later managed to get my passport but missed my flight, only managing to travel the following day. Some of my family can’t speak to me and neither can my friends who were even tolerant. With the law signed and with

The cover of Red Pepper that outed Richard such misleading media, people just don’t want to get in trouble for associating with you. This form of reporting is cutting us from our families, friends and the entire community, leading us into isolation. I especially wonder if any members of SMUG have been arrested and charged under the new act. No one has been charged yet, as far as I know. ■

Rev. Jim Mulcahy

I am preparing to return to Ukraine Jason Klaum, Stylist 585.732.7676 90 Canal Street, Suite 308 Rochester 14608

By Rev. Jim Mulcahy Since 2010, I have spent increasing amounts of time living in Ukraine, which has become my adopted country. My work there is to bring a voice of progressive Christianity and to spiritually support LGBT Christian groups and individuals not only in Ukraine but also in Russia and other post-soviet states. If you’ve watched the news, Ukraine has been at the forefront because of Russia’s occupation of the region called Crimea, a peninsula bordering Russia. Starting in late fall 2013, a peaceful movement called EuroMaidan began with the gathering of large numbers of Ukrainians and supporters in a central square in Kyiv called International Square. They formed in reaction to the negative policies of the president and the ruling party, triggered by the failure of the Ukrainian

president to move forward in negotiations with the European Union. Most Ukrainians did not and do not want a closer relationship with Russia. There is a lot of propaganda about ethnic Russians living in Ukraine. Surely the majority of ethnic Russians in Ukraine are in favor of close ties with Russia but in no way want to lose any part of Ukraine. They want to be citizens of Ukraine, not of Russia. These are extremely dangerous times. As I write this, there are 30,000 Russian troops in the region of Crimea. The Russian Duma has welcomed the separatists from Crimea. There are fears that Russia has its sights on cities in the south and east of the country. Russia refuses to recognize the newly formed government in Kyiv, the capitol. We don’t know if diplomacy will work to keep Ukraine unified. We don’t know if there will be a shooting war. We don’t know if international sanctions will be applied or will work. We see signs of a new Cold War developing between the US and Russia. During the days of the Maidan demonstrations in Kyiv, they were peaceful until the government loosed riot police on the unarmed demonstrators. The churches responded in full support of the demonstrators and offered daily prayer services and liturgies for the demonstrators. There were always priests among the demonstrators, often standing between the demonstrators and the riot police. LGBT organizations were clearly present among the demonstrators and there was a great deal of unity and inclusion. Saving the independence of Ukraine was more important than bias and prejudice. So, as I write this, I am preparing to return to Eastern Europe towards the end of March. I will go first to Moldova and then by bus into Ukraine to my home in the city of Krivyi Rih in south central Ukraine. I do not know what will happen to Ukraine in the upcoming days before my return. I do not know if the country will be whole or fractured by partition. I do not know if my city will be Ukrainian or Russian. But I do know that my LGBT brothers and sisters will still need a voice of progressive Christianity. I do know that they will still need support. ■

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 477 • april 2014

april 2014 • number 477 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 477 • april 2014

Making the Scene

INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY: The AAUW held their annual IWD celebration at their 494 East Ave. mansion on March 8. Story on page 1. Photo: Ove Overmyer

DINING OUT: The Ride for Pride gang dining at Joey B’s in Fairport on March 11, when 15 area restaurants and bars generously donated 50 percent of their take to the Gay Alliance. Photo: Jeanne Gainsburg

Emily Jones, Kate Cerulli, Marlene Gordon and Evelyn Bailey at the AAUW’s IWD celebration. Photo: Barbara Moore

Scott Fearing, Lady Dee and Jeanne Gainsburg at Joey B’s. Photo: Cindy Marshall

Doug Rice at MuCCC. Photo: Susan Jordan

My Own Private Rochester: Doug Rice By Susan Jordan Doug Rice is the original organizer of ArtWalk, and is now managing director of MuCCC (Multi-use Community Cultural Center), 142 Atlantic Ave., where plays and all kinds of performances take place. Doug, the son of Presbyterian minister Rev. Jim Rice, grew up in Rochester from age 2. Rev. Rice, a supporter of social justice issues, came to Rochester because of the 1964 riots and the family lived in the South Wedge

and later in Brighton. Today, Doug lives in “the heart of the Neighborhood of the Arts” -- aka NOTA -- off University Ave., with his two cats, Pixie and Muuckie. He rescued the latter after the kitten was discovered in the wheel well of Kevin Indovino’s car, parked outside MuCCC. Community building is of prime importance to Doug. ArtWalk was his project, in collaboration with local artists and activists, to create a space for Rochester-area art groups to hold a festival each year on University Ave., including art displays, poetry readings, music

and dance performances and more. Few will forget Thomas Warfield’s choreography for front-loaders! Doug said, “Art Walk was originally about community projects and involvement. The City, however, forced us to create a corporation (as a museum) because the city said it was not their role to manage artists.” The last real ArtWalk was held in 2008. “It was fully funded through 2011,” Doug said, “but the city said we couldn’t pay the artists and couldn’t feature local Rochester artists – they had to be ‘world class’.” When Doug and community

members wanted to place sculptures symbolizing the LGBT community outside the Bachelor Forum, former City Engineer George Stamm held the project up for nine months on the grounds that it was “pornographic”. Doug commented, “He’s gone but his mentality remains. But I have met with the new Commissioner of the Department of Environmental Services, and he said he would not have let that happen.” Doug says that MuCCC is his favorite organization; the building was erected in the 1880s as a mission and became a church in the 1890s. When the congregation grew too large for the building in 2006, it ceased to be a church and now is a community arts and culture center. Doug has sold the MuCCC building to a non-profit. He says, “I just enjoy being able to bounce around immersed in one or another group. I really like to hear the stories of longtime residents. There’s been a family living in a house across the street from MuCCC for about 25 years. You can always find someone who’s been in the area their whole life.” His favorite lunch place is Paola’s Burritos on Culver Rd., and he likes Starry Nights and Edibles on University – “anywhere I can walk to.” He walks to the Forum and goes there “in phases”. He also likes the new Genesee Brewery overlooking the High Falls. “I like anywhere where you can look at the falls – and the food is good!” As a movie buff, he frequents the Little, the Dryden and the Cinema. Doug also likes the Public Market, especially the art

fair they hold in September. On an ideal Saturday night, he jokes, “I’d stay at home and watch TV! I’m recovering emotionally from ArtWalk and am less outgoing now than I used to be.” About Rochester, Doug says, “Rochester is more than one city. It has a long tradition of fascinating pro-active people who risked their lives and fortunes to make a difference – including blue collar people. “Building community is important to me and to all of Rochester. There are a lot of great neighborhoods in the city. Most houses when I moved into NOTA were owner-occupied or owned by someone who still lives in the community – like me. I own 10 houses and live in a one-bedroom apartment in a house I own – two other couples live there too. The best thing I ever did was downsize!” ■

Muuckie in the wheel well before being rescued.

april 2014 • number 477 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

AT THE LGBT HEALTH MONTH KICKOFF PRESS CONFERENCE IN ALBANY: From left to right, NYS Assembly Members Harry B. Bronson and Richard Gottfried, NYS Senator Neil D. Breslin, Pride Agenda Director of Governmental Projects and Community Development Jonathan Lang, Pride Agenda Executive Director Nathan M. Schaefer, Rev. Hawk Stone, Trans Women of Color rep Daniella Carter and Director of Membership at the Sylvia Rivera Law Project Reina Gossett. The Pride Agenda is advocating for an additional $300K for LGBT health and human services in this year’s budget. The New York State LGBT Health and Human Services Network (the Network) is a coalition founded in 1994 and administered by the Pride Agenda Foundation, consisting of 53 nonprofit organizations that provide care to LGBT New Yorkers and families.

national and international (18 horrors from page 5) jail for people who ‘detain’ others to have sex or use fraud or ‘false pretense’ to ‘conspire’ to have gay sex. Allies criminalized 12 Anyone who ‘aids, abets, counsels or procures’ people to have gay or lesbian sex may get seven years jail. This could include those who provide sexual health services, friends who introduce gay people to each other or even priests sympathetic to the LGBTI community. 13 If someone has gay or lesbian sex in your house and you know about it, you are considered to be running a ‘brothel’. That’s even if no money has changed hands and they are lifelong partners. It could land you in prison for five years. So someone could end up in jail just for having a same-sex couple stay with them. 14 And it doesn’t stop there. The ‘brothel’ part of the law may mean landlords are unwilling to rent homes to LGBTI people for fear they will be prosecuted. 15 If you ‘marry’ someone of the same sex, you could get life in jail. But the term ‘marriage’ is not defined in the bill and it’s impossible to ‘marry’ someone of the same gender in Uganda as marriage equality is banned in the constitution. 16 If you conduct a same-sex marriage ceremony, the jail term is up to seven years and the marriage license for the premises you did it at could be cancelled. 17 ‘Promoting homosexuality’ – which can include distributing gayfriendly films or offering office space to an LGBTI equality organization – will get you five to seven years in prison, and a UGX100,000 ($40 €30) fine. Gayfriendly companies operating in Uganda could see their directors sent to prison. 18 Under this part of the law, even talking positively about LGBTI people

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 477 • april 2014 on Facebook or Twitter could see you jailed and fined. - See more at: http://www.gaystarnews. com/article/18-horrors-ugandans-nowface-under-anti-gay-law270214#sthash. wsez0P0o.dpuf

Trans protections bill passes Maryland Senate On March 4 the Fairness for All Marylanders Act, a bill that would prohibit discrimination on the basis of gender identity in employment, housing, public accommodations and credit, passed the full Senate after having been voted out of the Senate Judicial Proceedings Committee the week before. The Maryland Senate voted 32-15 to approve a bill protecting transgender people from discrimination in housing, employment, and other areas. SB212, the Fairness for All Marylanders Act, was introduced by State Sen. Rich Madaleno (D-Montgomery County) earlier this year. The bill now moves on to the House. Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2v1PkwIEM “It is critical that the Maryland legislature gets to the unfinished business of protecting transgender citizens from discrimination,” said Human Rights Campaign President Chad Griffin. “No one should ever have to worry about losing their job or accessing safe and affordable housing simply because of who they are. We hope Maryland’s fair-minded lawmakers will act on this critical bill quickly.”

Forbes: seven of the world’s billionaires are openly gay, one trans Forbes reports that seven of the world’s billionaires are openly LGBT. With a combined net worth of nearly $16 billion, the select group of LGBT ten-figure fortunes includes media

Peter Thiel, David Geffen and Jennifer Pritzker.

mogul David Geffen, PayPal cofounder Peter Thiel and Hyatt hotel beneficiary Jennifer Pritzker, one of the Pritzker family’s 11 billionaires. In August 2013, Jennifer became the first and only transgender billionaire in the world when she announced she would be identifying herself as a woman for all business and personal undertakings. A retired army lieutenant colonel, she is CEO of private wealth management firm Tawani Enterprises in Chicago and has a personal net worth of $1.8 billion. “This change will reflect the beliefs of her true identity that she has held privately and will now share publicly,” a statement in Crain’s Chicago Business explained. Among the openly-gay hyper-wealthy are Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana, the duo behind fashion power house Dolce & Gabbana. The retail-rich pair are joined by Michael Kors, who became a billionaire this year. Some of these businessmen and women have used their fortunes to advocate for gay rights. Jon Stryker, heir to the Stryker Corp. medical equipment family fortune, is one of the world’s most prolific donors to LGBT

charities. The seven listed above represent 0.4 percent of Forbes’ list of 1645 billionaires worldwide.

Illinois GOP legislators who voted for marriage equality keep their seats Despite bitter campaigns by NOM and the Illinois Family Institute, all three GOP Illinois state legislators who voted for same-sex marriage won their primary elections on March 18, although one may face a recount. They were gonna be punished! Via the Washington Post: When the Illinois state House passed a bill to legalize gay marriage last fall, just three out of 47 Republicans voted for it. On Tuesday, none of them lost. State Rep. Tom Cross (R) cruised to a 14-point victory in the primary for state treasurer while state Rep. Ed Sullivan (R) easily won renomination in his district. The third, state Rep. Ron Sandack (R), narrowly edged out his opponent by fewer than 200 votes, according to an

april 2014 • number 477 • the gay alliance • the empty closet unofficial tally. The close margin could mean the race goes to a recount. Sandack and Sullivan both faced pressure from thirdparty groups looking to oust them over their gay marriage votes. In Sandack’s case, the issue became a central focus. Had the three Republicans lost, it would have probably given pause to Republicans considering backing gay marriage in other states where the matter comes up in the future. But given two decisive wins and a third tentative victory, gay rights advocates have a lot to be happy about a day after the election. The Windy City Times had threatened legal action against the Illinois Family Institute for using their photo of Sandack in an anti-gay flyer. -JoeMyGod.com

Kerry to send experts on genetics to Uganda On March 18, U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry announced plans to send experts to Uganda to speak with President Museveni about homosexuality and whether it’s a choice. Museveni assigned his own “scientists” to the task to determine whether homosexuality was genetic or a choice, and after hearing from them, signed the Anti-Homosexuality Law. Buzzfeed reported earlier on a State Department forum at which Kerry spoke: “I talked personally to President Museveni just a few weeks ago, and he committed to meet with some of our experts so that we could engage him in a dialogue as to why what he did could not be based on any kind of science or fact, which is what he was alleging,” Kerry said. “He welcomed that and said that he was happy to receive them and we can engage in that kind of conversation… maybe we can reach a point of reconsideration.” He added that the State Dept. was still formulating its response to the Ugandan human rights abuses: “There’s been already a review taking place,” Kerry said, to examine policy towards all countries where homosexuality is criminalized, “to figure out what the options are as to how we can begin to change minds, move leaders, reach the public, the same kind of education that took place frankly here in our country. Since March 18 the U.S. has announced some economic sanctions.

195 Democrats ask Obama for executive order on ENDA With ENDA continuing to fruitlessly spin its wheels in the US House, today a coalition of nearly 200 Democratic lawmakers signed a letter to President Obama which calls for an executive order barring anti-LGBT employment discrimination by federal contractors. Not one Republican signed the letter.

Chris Johnson reports at the Washington Blade: In a letter dated March 18, 148 House members and 47 senators — making for a total of 195 lawmakers — urged Obama to sign an executive order barring federal contractors from discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity as part of his plan for a “Year of Action” in 2014. “As we continue to work towards final passage of the Employment NonDiscrimination Act (ENDA) with strong bipartisan support, we urge you to take action now to protection millions of workers across the country from the threat of discrimination simply because of who they are or who they love,” the letter says. “We are committed to doing all that we can in Congress to get ENDA to your desk this year; however, there is no reason you cannot immediately act by taking this important step.” The letter says “time is of an essence” for a signature on the executive order because even when that happens, a process that “will take many months, if not longer” to implement the directive fully will be necessary. In the House, the letter was circulated by the LGBT Equality Caucus along with Reps. Frank Pallone (D-N.J.) and Lois Capps (D-Calif.), while ENDA’s chief sponsor in the Senate Jeff Merkley (D-Ore.) circulated the letter in that chamber with Sens. Tammy Baldwin (D-Wis.) and Tom Harkin (D-Iowa). According to a study published by the Williams Institute, there are an estimated 400,000 - 600,000 LGBT employees of companies that do business with the federal government. Towleroad has posted the full letter with the names of all of the signers.

Dalai Lama says gay marriage is OK, bullying “totally wrong” By Andrew Potts on gaystarnews.com The Dalai Lama has told veteran US talk show host Larry King that he doesn’t have a problem with same-sex couples being allowed to marry but stopped short of saying it was acceptable in Buddhism. The Dalai Lama made the comments in an interview aired 10 March on Ora. tv, saying it was up to individual countries whether they legalized same-sex marriage. “That I think is a personal matter,” the Dalai Lama said of the international debate over the rights of LGBTI people. “I think that’s an individual’s business,” the Dalai Lama said, “That, you should follow according to your own tradition. “Bullying – that’s totally wrong, that’s a violation of human rights.” The Dalai Lama said Buddhism held that there were various forms of sexual misconduct but for non-believers he just hoped their relationships were safe and fully consensual. He said same-sex marriage was an

“individual business. If two people … really feel that way, it’s more practical, satisfactory, and both sides fully agree, then OK.” - See more at: http://www. gaystarnews.com/article/dalailama-says-he%E2%80%99s-ok-samesex-marriage070314#sthash.0cze7WqC. dpuf

Hundreds call for LGBT rights at Idaho statehouse At the Idaho Statehouse in Boise on March 17, hundreds of demonstrators circled around the building to greet lawmakers and push for “sexual orientation” and “gender identity” to be added to the Idaho Human Rights Act. Idaho’s Republican lawmakers have repeatedly declined to hold a hearing on possible changes to the state’s human

13 rights act for several years. Supporters of the “Add the Words” movement say updating the human rights act would protect LGBT people in Idaho from discrimination in housing and employment. Last month, police arrested 32 LGBT activists at the state Capitol who were protesting lawmakers’ refusal to bring up the issue. Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2wLhfihLX

Illinois AG gives go-ahead to Chicago area marriages Illinois’ marriage equality law can take effect statewide immediately, according to guidance issued March 4 by Attorney General Lisa Madigan, the SunTimes reports: In a letter to Macon County Clerk (Illinois continue page 14)

national and international (Newsfronts from page 13) Stephen Bean dated March 4, Madigan wrote that “the protections guaranteed by the Constitution must exist without regard to county lines.” Bean wrote to Madigan’s office after U.S. District Judge Sharon Johnson Coleman ruled on Feb. 21 that Cook County could immediately begin issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. That ruling, in Lee vs. Orr, applied only to marriages in Cook County because the class-action suit was filed against Cook County Clerk David Orr. “For the reasons explained in more detail in the legal papers filed in the Lee case, my office’s position is that current Illinois restrictions against same-sex marriage violate the equal protection rights that belong to all citizens under the United States Constitution,” Madigan’s letter said. The letter goes on to say that although the ruling in Lee is not binding on other counties, a “consistent stream” of federal court rulings have declared restrictions against same-sex marriage unconstitutional. The marriage equality law was not supposed to take effect until June 1. Cook County and Chicago began issuing licenses last month after a judge’s ruling. Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2v670Lv00

Quarterly injections may be future for AIDS treatment Via the New York Times: Researchers are reporting that injections of long-lasting AIDS drugs protect-

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 477 • april 2014 ed monkeys for weeks against infection, a finding that could lead to a major breakthrough in preventing the disease in humans. Two studies by different laboratory groups each found 100 percent protection in monkeys that got monthly injections of antiretroviral drugs, and there was evidence that a single shot every three months might work just as well. If the findings can be replicated in humans, they have the potential to overcome a major problem in AIDS prevention: that many people fail to take their antiretroviral pills regularly. Human trials will begin this year. The human trial expected to start later this year will be small, enrolling only 175 people in the United States, South Africa, Malawi and Brazil. Dr. El-Sadr, of Columbia, said the study should take up to three years before a larger trial to see if the injection method works in people as effectively as it does in monkeys. Human trials take time and require huge numbers of participants, partly because it is unethical to conduct a trial without offering participants all the options approved, including condoms and the pill versions of PreP.

Major advertiser drops homophobic Ugandan paper after outing Last month a Ugandan tabloid published a list of that country’s alleged “top 200 homos.” Following a petition campaign by All Out, one of the paper’s major advertisers has pulled out. Via press release: Orange, a subsidiary of France Télécom, announced its decision to pull their advertising from the website of Red Pepper on Friday, after 77,329 All Out members called on them to remove the advertisements and commit to protecting LGBT employees in Uganda. Red Pepper, a prominent tabloid,

recently listed the names and, in some cases, photos and locations of LGBT people in Uganda -- an action reminiscent of the 2009 outing of Ugandan activist David Kato in the (now defunct) tabloid Rolling Stone; Kato was murdered two days later. “We commend Orange for their leadership in reaction to the Anti-Homosexuality Law” said Andre Banks, Executive Director and co-founder of All Out, an international organization building the global movement for gay rights. “Orange’s decision to withdraw their advertising and to explicitly support their LGBT employees should ring alarm bells for Ugandan politicians and business people about the impact this law could have on the national economy”. Anyone found guilty of “aggravated homosexuality” faces life in a Ugandan prison. Anyone who does not turn in gay people they know, including their own children, faces arrest themselves.

Trans people call out RuPaul on March 17 transphobic slur By Parker Marie Molloy on The Advocate The March 17 episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race featured a contest many on Twitter are calling transphobic. The game, “Female or Shemale,” pitted the contestants against each other in a quest to determine whether they were being shown a picture of — as RuPaul phrased it — “a biological woman or a psychological woman.” In announcing the name of the game, “female” was said in a higher-pitched tone, while “shemale” was said in a low, gruff, masculine-sounding tone. The contestants laugh as they guess whether or not the body part they’re being shown belongs to a cisgender (nontrans) woman. The show has a long history of using the term “shemale” in various plays on words, most notably during a segment called, “You’ve Got Shemail.” In last night’s game, contestants saw pictures of cisgender women Christina Aguilera, former WWE wrestler Chyna, and “Tan Mom” Patricia Krentcil, alongside photos of well-known drag queens. “Shemale” is a word that historically refers to transgender women, most prominent in pornography. The word originated with transgender porn and doesn’t have roots in “drag culture,” as some have argued is the case with the word “tranny.” GLAAD’s transgender media reference guide denotes two levels of terms to avoid: problematic and defamatory. “Shemale” falls under the defamatory heading, with GLAAD officials writing that the word — along with words like “tranny,” “shim,” and “gender-bender” — “only serves to dehumanize transgender people and should not be used.” In response to a 2013 episode of CBS’s Mike & Molly, GLAAD called out the sitcom for its use of the word “shemale,” among other problematic portions of the

episode. “The use of the derogatory term ‘shemale’ is offensive in and of itself,” GLAAD said in response to the Mike and Molly episode. “Humor like this is unfortunately much more than ‘just a joke.’ When a minority group is repeatedly made the object of ridicule, the majority finds it much harder to see them as fellow human beings deserving of dignity and respect, which can have direct real-life consequences. In addition to being hurtful and dehumanizing, it’s sentiments like the ones driving these jokes that fuel the disproportionately high levels of discrimination and violence faced by transgender women.” When asked for comment on last night’s episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race, GLAAD vice president of communications Rich Ferraro responded, “While some drag queens may use the term to refer to themselves, ‘she-male’ is too often used by others as an offensive term to denigrate and hypersexualize transgender women. Unfortunately, most Americans are still unaware that there is a difference between gay men who perform in drag and transgender women. That’s why GLAAD will continue to tell the stories of trans women like CeCe McDonald, Carmen Carrera, and CrossFit athlete Chloie Jonsson.” This is far from the first time RuPaul has stoked the ire of trans people. He has famously defended his use of the word “tranny” on Drag Race and in his music, and once claimed that the only difference between a transgender woman and a drag queen was “$25,000 and a good surgeon.” To date, RuPaul has not responded to The Advocate’s requests to clarify his position on derogatory words used in his show.

Another Miss. town passes pro-gay resolution On March 4, Oxford, Mississippi unanimously passed a resolution recognizing the dignity and worth of all city residents - including those who are lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender. Oxford joins two other Mississippi cities -- Starkville and Hattiesburg -which both passed similar resolutions earlier this year. Human Rights Campaign (HRC) President Chad Griffin issued the following statement: “Like so many cities across America, Oxford, Mississippi has made clear that all its residents deserve to be treated with dignity, respect and equality, regardless of who they are or who they love. Today the Oxford Board of Alderman proudly affirmed the city’s support for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community, and moved Mississippi forward on the road to equality.” “Diversity is what made and continues to make this country amazing. It strengthens and enhances the experiences of everyone, to understand that it is our (Mississippi continues page 16)

april 2014 • number 477 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

Health Strokes can happen in anyone’s neighborhood By HCR Home Care James Mullen lives in your neighborhood; you probably have seen him around. Maybe he is your brother, your cousin, or your neighbor. He is quiet in the morning, but the life of the party at night. He has been like that for years, and anyone who knows James finds it hard not to like him. When he started acting silly one night and falling down, everyone thought he was just being himself and goofing off. But that night was different from most others. Actually, that night his life was changed forever. A stroke can do that to you, and a stroke did just that to James. Once he got his friends to finally recognize he wasn’t horsing around, they drove him to the emergency department of a local hospital where he remained for about ten days. Strokes occur more often in the United States than you may think. Stroke is the third leading cause of death, killing more than 150,000 American Adults every year. And about four million people live with post stroke affects. There are many risk factors that can cause a stroke, such as high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, smoking, high cholesterol, lack of exercise, excessive alcohol consumption, lifestyle, ethnicity, and diet. Symptoms of stroke include weakness or numbness of the face, arm or leg, especially on one side of the body, a sudden confusion or trouble talking or understanding, sudden trouble moving or walking and severe sudden headache, to name a few. Strokes happen suddenly and can leave permanent damage; just ask James. When he was discharged from the hospital, James could barely walk by himself because of paralysis on his right side. When he spoke, James talked in a soft whisper that was hard to hear. He could not feed himself easily, as he only had use of one hand. And for the first time in his life, James had been prescribed several medications, all of which he had to manage on his own. It was at this point that James’ physician realized he needed assistance at home and ordered home health services. The primary goal of his multidisciplinary Stroke Rehabilitation Team was to make sure James could live safely and independently at home. James’ Social Worker located a used refrigerator and a microwave to replace the broken appliances in his home. The Occupational Therapist got him a one-handed can opener, so he could open up canned foods by himself. The Physical Therapist worked on his walking and balance so he could get in and out of his

apartment safely, and walk around with the proper assistive device, like a cane. The Speech Pathologist worked with James to get him use to a loud voice regularly and encouraged him to eat soft foods to prevent choking. Nurses who worked with James made sure he understood his new medications and how to feed himself through the gastrostomy tube (tube inserted into his stomach because his swallowing muscles were damaged by the stroke). HCR Home Care worked with James until he was able to receive out-patient rehabilitation services at a local center to continue his therapies. While James may not be able to party as he used to, he is still walking around, living independently by himself, and spending time with his friends. He is pretty happy about that. A stroke came on suddenly and changed his life forever, but because of his therapies and the detailed care of his stroke team, James is living on his own, just where he wants to be. Learn the National Stroke Association’s Act FAST test: FACE: Ask the person to smile. Does one side of the face droop? ARMS: Ask the person to raise both arms. Does one arm drift downward? SPEECH: Ask the person to repeat a simple phrase. Is their speech slurred or strange? TIME: If you observe any of these signs, call 9-1-1 immediately. Home Care HCR is a local provider of Home Care services, and the first such provider in the area to have a specific LGBT Care Team. The Gay Alliance provided HCR with the staff education necessary to become LGBT Culturally Competent. ■

Alzheimer’s support groups are available in Rochester area More than five million Americans are living with Alzheimer’s disease, the sixth leading cause of death in the United States. As the disease progresses, it can become isolating not only for people with Alzheimer’s, but also for those caring for them. Caregivers are faced with demanding tasks and can often feel like no one understands, but they’re not alone. More than 15 million Americans are providing unpaid Alzheimer’s care, and support groups can help establish essential connections with others going through the same thing. The risk of isolation is even greater for LGBT adults because of the stigma and discrimination they face in their daily lives. Adding the stress of Alzheimer’s caregiving can make it difficult to establish an adequate support system, particu-

larly because LGBT adults are often single and without children. Attending regular support groups, such as those offered by the Alzheimer’s Association, Rochester and Finger Lakes Chapter, can provide caregivers with much-needed social interaction and connect them to other useful resources. While friends and family can provide helpful support, talking with someone who has had similar experiences allows group members to learn what to expect and how to plan, as well as ways to cope with and manage caregiving tasks. “Because we’re all at different stages, we sort of guide each other,” says Barbara Lopa, who started attending a local support group after her husband Mike was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s nine years ago. The support group coordinators also provide guidance, serving as an indispensable wealth of knowledge for those with Alzheimer’s and their caregivers. Not only do members supply their fellow caregivers with honest advice and recommendations, they often form lasting relationships that reach far beyond the monthly meetings. “We’ve become friends, all of the caregivers,” Lopa says. “We see each other socially now.”

Alzheimer’s can put strain on preexisting friendships, Lopa says, and it is important to make new friends with people who can empathize along the journey. “They understand the gig,” she says. “We don’t just cry; we have a lot of laughs... we’re there for each other.” In a recent national study on LGBT elders, participants identified support groups as one of the most needed services for LGBT adults. Nothing can replace the ability of a support group to facilitate relationships while simultaneously providing professional resources. According to the Institute for Multigenerational Health, approximately 27 percent of LGBT adults assist a partner, friend or family member with a health issue or other needs. If Alzheimer’s or dementia is a factor, efforts should be made to combat the isolation of this disease as early as possible. The Alzheimer’s Association offers a wide variety of support groups to meet these needs. Lopa says it’s important to find one that fits you. “If it doesn’t work for you, there are other support groups out there, so shop around.” To learn more, call the Alzheimer’s Association 24/7 helpline at (800) 2723900 or contact Tara Brundage at (585) 760-5403. ■

History’s Hometown offers a quiet B&B just 2 blocks from Downtown Auburn Weekend Get-Aways & Adventures! Wineries, Museums, Dining, Theater & Shopping www.tourcayuga.com Tuxill House, 5 Tuxill Square, Auburn www.tuxillhouse.com • 315/252-0055 A one-hour drive from Rochester!

national and international (Mississippi from page 14) differences from which we learn and make us stronger,” said Alderman Jay Hughes. “At a time when signals from some parts of the State seem to be focused on exclusion, I am absolutely honored and proud to be in a community that embraces inclusion of everyone, to make Oxford the great place that it is. Tolerance and acceptance create the strongest bonds between neighbors, and I am proud to be on the right side of history in reaffirming Oxford’s longstanding commitment to that most fundamental principle.” Public opinion on equality in Mississippi is far ahead of law in the state. A poll conducted last summer found that nearly 60 percent of Mississippians under the age of 30 support marriage equality, while 64 percent of residents back workplace non-discrimination protections for LGBT employees. -JoeMyGod.com

Poll shows marriage acceptance at all-time high nationwide A March poll shows support for marriage equality nationwide has hit an all-time high, the Washington Post reports: Half of all Americans believe that gay men and lesbians have a constitutional right to marry, according to a new Washington Post-ABC News poll in which a large majority also said businesses should not be able to deny serving gays for religious reasons. Fifty percent say the U.S. Constitution’s guarantee of equal protection gives gays the right to marry, while 41 percent say it does not. Beyond the constitutional questions, a record-high 59 percent say they support same-sex marriage, while 34 percent are opposed, the widest margin tracked in Post-ABC polling. The poll was conducted in the wake of a series of rulings by federal judges that state bans on same-sex marriage and prohibitions on recognizing marriages performed elsewhere are unconstitutional. The poll also shows that Americans oppose bills like the one in Arizona that would allow discrimination against gays based on religious beliefs. And there is strong support for gay adoption. Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2v66fp2JE

Lebanese judge rules gay sex should not be criminalized Via the Lebanon Daily Star: A judge presiding over a case prosecuting homosexuality has ruled that a notorious piece of legislation criminalizing gay sex is not valid, a decision that has been hailed as a major achievement by activists in Lebanon. The Legal Agenda, a quarterly magazine published by the non-governmental organization of the same name, reported March 4 that, in January, Judge Naji al-Dahdah cleared a transsexual woman of having a same-sex relationship with a man, an act criminalized under Article 534 of Lebanon’s penal code. “It’s a big step; it shows we’re moving in the right direction,” said Georges Azzi, a prominent activist for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender rights who is also the co-founder of Helem, a Lebanese group that has long been campaigning to change the law. The judge declared that the ban on “unnatural sexual intercourse” is unclear as the meaning of “unnatural.” It’s not yet clear if the above-cited ruling is the final word on the issue.

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 477 • april 2014

IRS has informational video on LGBT couples tax filing tips In the wake of Article 3 of DOMA being defeated before the US Supreme Court, the US Treasury Department announced that it would allow same-sex couples to file their taxes jointly with the IRS regardless of whether the state in which they currently reside recognizes their unions as legal. On March 7, the IRS released an informational video providing tips to same-sex couples who, for the first time ever, can file jointly: “From now on we will treat same sex spouses as married for all federal tax purposes. This change applies as long as you got married in a location that recognizes same sex marriages. Either in the United States or another part of the world. It doesn’t matter wether you were living there at the time you were married and it doesn’t matter where you live there now. This change applies to all federal tax previsions where marriage is a factor. Such as determining filing status, claiming personal and dependency exemptions, taking the standard deduction, receiving employee benefits, contributing to an IRA and claiming the Earned Income Tax Credit or Child Tax credit. Among other things, it means that generally speaking you now need to file your Federal income tax return either as married filing jointly or married filing separately. You don’t need to amend your returns from the previous years, but you may want to by filing form 1040X.” The video joins hundred of other instructional videos the IRS has posted online that covers a wide array of topics. Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2vHotee00

Westboro Church’s Rev. Fred Phelps goes to his reward Kansas television station KSN reports that Fred Phelps has died. The Rev. Fred Phelps Sr., who founded a Kansas church widely known for its protests at military funerals and virulently anti-gay sentiments, has died, according to his son Tim Phelps. Phelps, 84, was being cared for in a Shawnee County facility, Westboro Baptist Church spokesman Steve Drain said March 16. Members of the Westboro church, based in Topeka, frequently protest at funerals of soldiers with signs containing messages such as “Thank God for dead soldiers,” and “Thank God for 9/11,” claiming the deaths are God’s punishment for American immorality and tolerance of homosexuality and abortion. The church had excommunicated Phelps recently.

Jamaican judge says gay youth can live in sewers By Joe Morgan on gaystarnews.com Jamaica gay teens thrown out by their families, chased out of shelters and abandoned by the state have been told they can live in sewers. A New Kingston judge has advised police that LGBTI teens are allowed to stay in their last option for refuge as sewers are public spaces. Police have repeatedly tried to evict the youngsters from the sewers and gullies, on the pretext they “attract criminals”. On 5 March, officers once again raided the gutters and demanded the youth leave immediately. Yvonne McCalla-Sobers, a Jamaican LGBTI rights activist, said: “The youngsters were understandably upset and some put up quite a struggle as they literally have nowhere else to go. “Police had already chased them from every abandoned building they previously occupied and the buildings were then

torn down.” She added: “Some of the youth were arrested for resisting their forcible eviction. They were also charged with using swear words (which is still an offense under Jamaican law).” On 7 March, the teens were brought before the court to fine them for their language. However, the judge has told police the sewers are a public space so the youngsters have every right to be there. Maurice Tomlinson, a lawyer and LGBTI rights campaigner in Jamaica, told Gay Star News: “Although the Jamaican Commissioner of Police has issued a directive that LGBT victims are not to be discriminated against…it is clear that there is a lot of work that needs to be done with the police in order for them to respect and support the human rights of vulnerable gay Jamaicans.” Last year in October, police officers burned down the house – as well as clothing and other property - of gay and bisexual men living in New Kingston. And in September, four gay men in the resort city of Montego Bay had to flee their home after a mob firebombed it. They asked the police to take them in and protect them but were refused. The property was thought to be the last place where trans teen Dwayne Jones lived before she was ‘chopped and stabbed’ to death after a party in July. - See more at: http://www.gaystarnews. com/article/jamaica-rules-gay-teens-canlive-sewer100314#sthash.hFd0oWyj.dpuf UPDATE: On March 20, despite the judge’s statement, police again attacked youth in the gullies.

Zimbabwe police storm hotel, arrest gay leaders By Miles Tanhira on gaystarnews.com Zimbabwe police stormed a hotel to arrest two gay group leaders on 12 March. The Gays and Lesbians of Zimbabwe (GALZ) were holding a media training course for around 20 human rights defenders in Bronte Hotel in the city of Harare. Authorities arrived at the hotel and demanded to see the organizers of the meeting. The officers insisted on seeing the IDs of participants, and wrote down their names and addresses. The training facilitator and GALZ Youth coordinator were both taken to the central police station where they were questioned and charged under Section 25 (5) of Public Order Security Act (POSA) before being released.

According to gay rights activists, this law is normally applied to target critics of Robert Mugabe and groups deemed to be ‘pro-Western’. It reads: ‘Any organizer of a public meeting, demonstration or procession who fails to give the police advance notice in accordance with POSA is guilty of an offence and liable to a fine of $2000 (€1440) or a year’s imprisonment or both.’ GALZ, which continues to be a target of attack by the state, is yet to release a formal statement. The gay rights group has won two court cases this year. In January, GALZ won a High Court battle with the police following a raid in which police confiscated computers, materials and publications. And a month later, the chair of GALZ won a High Court battle after the state accused him of running an unregistered organization. The Gays and Lesbians Association of Zimbabwe (GALZ) has operated for years in Zimbabwe, despite Mugabe once threatening to cut LGBTI people’s heads off. - See more at: http://www. gaystarnews.com/article/zimbabwe-police-storm-hotel-arrest-gay-groupleaders120314#sthash.1kDn9wVS.dpuf

Methodist church drops case against minister who married gay son The United Methodist Church will not pursue a case against a retired minister who officiated his gay son’s wedding, a Bishop in the church announced at a news conference March 11, at which he also called on the church to drop similar cases, the AP reports: The Rev. Thomas Ogletree, 80, a former dean of the Yale Divinity School, said he’s grateful his church had decided not to put him on trial for what he called “an act of pastoral faithfulness and fatherly love.” “There’s no talk of guilt or wrongdoing or any penalty. It’s just the case goes away, which is a vindication for Tom,” Ogletree’s spokesperson Dorothy Benz told WCBS 880 Connecticut Bureau Chief Fran Schneidau. Ogletree married his son and his male partner on October 20 at the Yale Club in NYC. The charges against him were announced in January. The clergy who placed the charges against Ogletree are very angry and refuse to accept gay clergy or any form of gay rights. ■

Learn the history of the LGBT community in Rochester... ...from the people who made that history. The Gay Alliance invites you to celebrate 40 years of LGBT history in Rochester with your very own DVD/BluRay of this powerful film. Shoulders To Stand On Evelyn Bailey, Executive Producer Kevin Indovino, Producer/Director/Writer Standard DVD $25 / BluRay DVD $30 Order at: www.GayAlliance.org

april 2014 • number 477 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

LGBTQ Living Choosing suburban life By Susan Jordan Last month LGBTQ Living focused on city life; this month we talk to two lesbian couples and two gay men who live in Perinton, Pittsford and Brighton.

dio, it brings added warmth. Are there any drawbacks to their suburban life? Angela said, “The only drawback is that at various times I’ve thought it would be nice to walk out our front door and to a little café to meet friends. You can’t do that here. The other thing for me is going to galleries. If we lived in the Neighborhood of the Arts we could walk there. But what people do here is walk their dogs and stop and visit and chat, and the dogs play together – it’s fun.”

Cathy Lewis and Angela Bonazinga. Photo: Susan Jordan

Angela Bonazinga and Cathy Lewis live in a beautiful modern house in the Perinton hills. Three-story windows look out onto a wrap-around deck and woods that seem completely wild, but neighbors’ homes are not far away. Nuthatches and woodpeckers flew around the feeders while we talked, and a doe wandered in the meadow below. The couple often sees fox, coyotes and “any little critter you can think of.” They have yet to see a bear, although one was reported about four miles away a few years ago. Angela, retired executive director of the Brighton Memorial Library, and Cathy, retired IT manager at Xerox and longtime president of Galaxe, the Xerox LGBT employee group, bought the house in February 2001, and were married in April 2012 at Woodcliff in Perinton. Angela is co-chair of the LGBT Fund for Greater Rochester, and Cathy is chair of the grant-making committee. Why did they choose this house? Angela said, “It was the light. When we first saw the house it was the dead of winter and the light was flooding in, and we said, winter in Rochester could be just fine! The other part was that we like city life – music and art and theatre – but we also really like nature and birds. So being out here we could walk and bird and be in nature, but we are only 20 minutes from the city.” The couple owns five wooded acres, and had to clear away a lot of underbrush, brambles and locust trees when they moved in. “We most enjoy being surrounded by nature and we also have wonderful, welcoming neighbors. We’ve been out and never were bothered in any way,” Angela said. “People brought food when we moved in and would stop and chat when we walked the dog.” Cathy added, “When we were married they were so happy for us. When Angela was in the hospital, the neighbors showed up with food, walked and fed the dog, shoveled the sidewalk, etc.” As far as they know, they are the only same-sex couple in the neighborhood, but some neighbors have gay family members. Perinton does not seem to have a town center, unlike nearby Fairport and Pittsford. Cathy said, “Fairport is really the town center of Perinton. We’re the suburb of a suburb of a suburb!” Although it feels as if they are living in a wilderness area, Wegmans is not far away, and there is a nearby farm stand, Chasen’s, where Cathy and Angela go every day in summer. “You can pick your own raspberries,” Cathy said. A vegetable garden of their own is not really an option, given the large deer population. In winter, the steep hill they live on is a bit tricky, but they say, “We have jeeps, and had front wheel drive before.” They say that Perinton keeps the roads well plowed and the town is good at fixing potholes. The house stays warm with the woodstove, gas fireplace and wood fireplace, and when light streams in through the tall windows in the entry/painting stu-

Cathy and Angela’s home in the Perinton hills. Tom Privitere. Photo: Susan Jordan

Tom Privitere lives off East Ave. in Pittsford with his two cats. He retired last August as WNY regional staff director of the Public Employee Federation, a statewide labor union including all kinds of professionals, such as lawyers, professors, scientists and judges working for New York state. Tom originally worked in criminal justice, i.e. for the Rochester Police Department in City Court, and transitioned into the labor movement in 1978, where among other jobs he worked for AFSCME. He was very much involved in winning labor support for gay rights (especially LGBT inclusion in labor contracts) and since 2004 for marriage equality. He and Bess Watts founded Pride at Work’s Rochester chapter c. 2007. Tom grew up in the city, on Jay St., and went to high school in the city and to MCC when it was on Alexander St. He married and moved to Chili around 1970. After his divorce, he and his then-partner bought a house on Harvard and Edgerton. But by 1987, re-assessment of neighborhood property taxes and an epidemic of gay-bashings on Monroe Ave., one of which involved him, caused him to move to the suburbs. Tom says, “We were attacked by three men… who told us to get off the sidewalk… I grew up on Jay St. in a tough neighborhood!” He fought back and the bashers ran away. Tom adds, “This was one factor that drove us out of the city.” Tom became leader of the Pittsford Democratic Committee in 2005; there were five people in the group then, but by 2006 there were 42 people on the committee, and the first Democrat ever had been elected to the Pittsford zoning board. Tom’s current house was built in 1954. He bought it in 1999 and has done major renovations. The current project involves enlarging the back patio, which is now becoming an all-window enclosed porch with flagstone floor and a huge brick fireplace. Tom’s home is in a quiet wooded area, and is filled with mementos of his family and life, including a lot of Asian art. His neighbors are friendly and he has had no problems. He plans to remain there permanently and says, “They’ll have to take me out of here feet first!” Jean Thibodeau, a self-employed CPA, lives on the opposite end of Perinton from Angela and Cathy – he is just over the border from Penfield. He grew up in the town of Fairport and is a life-long suburbanite. Jean’s office is in his house, and his staff is there every working day. He lives with his cute, friendly dog Sophie, a Lhasa Apso he adopted when she was rescued from an abusive situation and taken to Lollipop Farm, where he volunteers.

Jean Thibodeau and Sophie. Photo: Susan Jordan

What he likes about the suburbs: no alternate side of the street parking; likes and is out to his neighbors, but “I also like that there’s a little distance between us”; likes having more acreage; likes the peace and quiet and that “there’s no traffic noise”; loves his attached garage and loves working out of his home, and likes that it is close to 441 and the expressway, so he doesn’t feel isolated. It takes him 15 or 20 minutes to get into the city – “rush hour is a different story!” Jean says he has never been a bar regular and adds, “I like to hang out with my friends at our homes. There’s a lot of stuff going on out here. A lot of gay people get together at their houses and we have fun.” What doesn’t he like about the suburbs? “Property taxes! (Laughs) And I volunteer for ImageOut and it’s a pain to drive there every day – but it’s only for 10 days a year.” Jean commented, “When I was growing up in Fairport you had to be so closeted – but today Fairport is a pretty progressive town, and you can’t beat walking along the canal.” Jean agrees with Cathy and Angela that Fairport is the town center for Perinton. He said, “Nobody says, ‘I live in Perinton’ – they all say, ‘I live in Fairport.’”

Cindy Garcia and Jean Lazeroff. Photo: Susan Jordan

Jean Lazeroff and Cindy Garcia live in Brighton. Jean is a retired social studies teacher and Cindy is a manager in the corporate world. They live with their cats Nathan and Ming in a 1964 house in a quiet Brighton neighborhood, with a lot of tall trees – yet they are just a few minutes from the city.

The two have done a lot of decorating, with a new driveway and garage and a renovated kitchen, which is an ongoing project. They also have a cottage with a pond in Honeoye. They like to go kayaking all around the area and have also just bought a pontoon “party boat”. As “big wine fans,” they often travel to the Finger Lakes, the Hudson Valley, Napa and Washington State. Bill Moehle, Brighton town supervisor, told The Empty Closet, “I’m glad you are speaking with Brighton residents for your LGBTQ Living article... it is very important to me that Brighton be a community where the LGBTQ community and all of our residents feel good about being here.” Jean and Cindy agree. Jean says, “Brighton has always been a very gayfriendly town. This is a great neighborhood with a wonderful neighborhood association, which has a lot of families and adult activities. I grew up in Brighton and went to Brighton High School, and so did my daughter. We like that it’s close to everything. I’d be hard pressed to live somewhere far from the city.” Cindy added, “There’s a measure of acceptability – everybody’s friendly and they respect us for who we are.” Jean said, “The night New York State passed marriage, our neighbors brought over a bottle of champagne to celebrate!” She and Cindy added that there are three gay couples on their block and several others nearby. Jean said, “It’s just COMFORTABLE.” Cindy grew up in California and has also lived in Seattle. The two met in California in 1993 and Cindy moved to Rochester in 1994. In 2008 they married in California – one of over a thousand couples who married before marriage rights were withdrawn and whose legal marriages were nonetheless allowed to stand. (Marriage is now legal again in the state.) Jean and Cindy find it hard to think of any drawbacks to life in Brighton. All Jean could come up with is that Brighton is not on a body of water, while Cindy noted, “But the canal is just a mile away. I love living here!” Jean feels that Brighton’s good schools are a major factor in why she wanted to live there. “The other thing I think is fabulous – we have a very wooded yard and Brighton picks up the leaves in the fall multiple times!” Cindy said, “I love the seasons. Where I grew up it is always sunny. I love winter if there’s snow.” Jean said, “I love to ski cross-country.” Cindy interjected, “And snowshoe! It’s just a great location.” Proximity to the Thruway is another advantage, since they travel to Boston frequently to see their children and grandchildren. In short, “comfortable” seems to be the word they use for Brighton. ■

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 477 • april 2014

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april 2014 • number 477 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

Shoulders to Stand On The Lavender Scare By Evelyn Bailey Last month Shoulders To Stand On looked at the founding of the Mattachine Society and its influence on society’s attitudes toward homosexuality. This month, STSO will look at the Lavender Scare, and next month the identification of homosexuality as a diagnosable mental disorder in the DSM-1, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. The United States in the 1950s experienced marked economic growth -- with an increase in manufacturing and home construction amongst a post-World War II economic boom. The Cold War and its associated conflicts helped create a politically conservative climate in the country. Fear of communism caused public Congressional hearings in both houses in Congress whilst anti-communism was the prevailing sentiment in the United States. Conformity and conservatism characterized the social mores of the time, until Rock and Roll music enters the scene. The 1950s are noted in United States history as a time of compliance, conformity. Gender roles began to change during this time. Women were used to taking jobs outside the home much like they had during the War, and began to fight for their rights and desire outside employment. Homosexuality and Juvenile Delinquency were just the tip of the metaphorical iceberg that mothers were blamed for. The image of home and family changed, and the idea of a domestic housewife no longer applied to much of the country as many worked outside the home. In 1950, the same year that Senator Joseph McCarthy claimed 205 communists were working in the State Department, Undersecretary of State John Peurifoy said that the State Department had allowed 91 homosexuals to resign. McCarthy then added the claim that gay men and lesbians were even more dangerous than Reds. Because the psychiatric community regarded homosexuality as a mental illness, gay men and lesbians were considered susceptible to blackmail, thus constituting a security risk. U.S. government officials assumed that communists would blackmail homosexual employees of the federal government who would provide them classified information rather than risk exposure. The fear of this supposed homosexual menace became known as the Lavender Scare. The Lavender Scare drew its name from the term “lavender lads,” used repeatedly by Sen. Everett Dirksen as a synonym for homosexuals. In 1952 Dirksen said that a Republican victory in the November elections would mean the removal of “the lavender lads” from the State Department. On April 27, 1953, President Eisen-

hower signed Executive Order 10450, which made it official government policy that gay and lesbian employees were to be hunted down and fired. McCarthy hired Roy Cohn – widely believed to have been a closeted homosexual – as chief counsel of his Congressional subcommittee. Together, McCarthy and Cohn were responsible for the firing of scores of gay men from government employment, and strong-armed many opponents into silence using rumors of their homosexuality. More than a thousand federal agents were assigned to the task of determining who was a homosexual. People were subjected to grueling interrogation: “Who do you live with? Who are your friends? What bars do you frequent? Would you like us to call your family back home and ask these questions?” People were ordered to give up the names of their gay and lesbian friends. Most chose to resign immediately, rather than face continued pressure or further scrutiny. In 1957, Dr. Franklin Kameny, a Harvard PhD, turned a lemon situation into lemonade! He had been working for the U.S. Army Map Service, and was fired from his job when the government found out he was gay. But unlike the thousands who had been fired before him, he fought back! The purges created a sense of anger and militancy in the gay community that sowed the seeds of the gay rights movement. In 1965, years before Stonewall, Kameny and a small band of brave men and women staged a picket in front of the White House, in what is believed to be the first gay rights demonstration in the country. Kameny went on to devote his entire life to the fight for LGBT rights, and just before his death saw his achievements honored by President Obama. In the 1950s, Americans also felt the effects of the Red Scare. Though the climate of fear and repression began to ease in the late 1950s, the Red Scare has continued to influence political debate in the decades since and is often cited as an example of how unfounded fears can compromise civil liberties. The Red Scare made credible the Lavender Scare even though after several investigations over many years, not a single case was ever found of a homosexual who actually gave up secrets in order to avoid being exposed. Historian David Johnson points out that the so-called Lavender Scare was actually deeply ingrained in fifties culture, pre-dated McCarthyism, and long outlived it. Johnson further argues that the government’s repressive action significantly helped to unite gays and lesbians through a shared repressive experience, and this, ironically, helped to spur the modern gay civil rights movement. People continued to lose their jobs through the 1950s, ‘60s, ‘70s, and ‘80s. In 1995, President Clinton officially rescind-

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of gratitude and pride, that Shoulders To Stand On recognizes our brothers and sisters who lived their lives courageously and authentically in the years prior to Stonewall. ■

History Corner

ed the policy that had been put in place by President Eisenhower in 1953, and for the first time in four decades, LGBT people could freely work for the civilian agencies of the federal government. Clinton, however, also instituted the controversial military policy, “don’t ask, don’t tell.” Congress voted to end the policy last year. Today, there are still 29 states in the country in which it is perfectly legal to fire people simply because they are LGBT – a direct result of our government’s homophobic policies that were put in place in the 1950s and have continued to the present day. Employment Non-Discrimination Act has passed the Senate but has not passed the House and shows no signs of movement in that direction. As reported by the Huffington Post, on March 6, 2014, Sens. Jeff Merkley (D-Ore.), Tammy Baldwin (D-Wis.) and Tom Harkin (D-Iowa) circulated a letter among their Senate colleagues that calls on President Barack Obama to issue an executive order extending workplace nondiscrimination protections to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Americans. According to Merkley’s office, the effort is bicameral; the LGBT equality caucus is recruiting co-signers in the House of Representatives. Obama has the ability to ban discrimination among government contractors only, whereas legislation passed by Congress would apply to all employers. Late in 2002, New York State passed SONDA (Sexual Orientation Non-Discrimination Act) which prohibits discrimination on the basis of actual or perceived sexual orientation in employment, housing, public accommodations, education, credit, and the exercise of civil rights – for gay men, lesbians and bisexuals, NOT trans* people. Shoulders is proud of New York State for passing SONDA over 10 years ago. The law does not guarantee a change in how LGB men and women are treated (and obviously it does not include trans* people, who are still without the slightest civil rights protections in NYS). We must be proud of who we are and have the courage to confront injustice when we see it. So it is with a deep sense

A Monthly Newspaper of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley 812 Brown St. at West Main, Rochester, NY 14611 (716) 436-7670. March, 1974 Number 38 IN THIS ISSUE …. Petition to repeal sodomy laws; Columnist insults gays. NYSCGO Conference in April. Syracuse/Buffalo news: Gay victim has rights, Record Review, a new column about music and gays. Seth Twigs on Coming Out, Sheila’s comments on the social scene, Psychiatrists polled on nomenclature regarding gays (p.1 & 4) GAGV finances and much more. Do you want to read this issue of the Empty Closet? Here is the link: http://www.lib.rochester.edu/index.cfm?page=4800. On that page click on: Browse the Empty Closet issues; Go to 1974 – March HIGHLIGHTS FROM CALENDAR OF EVENTS: SUN 7 APR: WORKSHOP on repeal of consensual sodomy law. GRoW, 713 Monroe Ave. 3-5 pm SUN 21 APR: SPEAKER: “ LAW ENFORCEMENT PROBLEMS WITH HOMOSEXUALS; A POLICEMAN’S VIEW” Representative from the Rochester Police Department. 26-28 APR; NYSCGO GAY CONFERENCE: Syracuse. 27-28 APR: WOMEN’S 2ND ANNUAL CAMPOUT. Black Creek Lodge. Donation $1.50. Details. 2449030, ■

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 477 • april 2014

Columnists The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet.

Growing Up The Neighborhood By Eric Bellmann Sunday morning I’m heading out to get the Metro Edition of The New York Times and as I round the corner to my driveway I see across the street two police cars parked as if abandoned at an arrogant angle. Between them is another vehicle, a white panel truck with Medical Examiner printed large on its side. Someone has died. I wonder if it could be one of the never seen occupants of the house that needs paint, where the grass is rarely cut. I have no idea who lives there or for how long, but the neglect annoys me. I’ve lived here a long time and I pride myself on upkeep. Now that I’m retired, “at home”, as I like to think, I pay more attention to certain issues: where cars are parked, if trash cans tip over in storms and if they are promptly righted or not, who cuts lawns and when. Not a lot of people are home during the day and I like that. I do yard work, garden in solitude, read in the sun. Sometimes there are dog walkers. I’ve seen turnover in my neighborhood. Once it was more owner-occupied. Now it’s about fifty-fifty rental. The nearby city elementary school is a good one. Parents move when their kids are old enough for high school. I’m not leaving. Ever. I’m near to anything I might need if I had to walk: shopping, a post office branch, my bank. The next morning I see a woman who lives directly across the street in the row house walking towards her car. We rarely chat. Her husband, who has to smoke on their front porch, always eyes me with disdain. I figure they have sized me up. This morning however I greet her and ask if she saw the police the other morning and if she knows any details. Indeed she does: it was one of the two brothers who shared the house on my side of the street two doors away. Dave came downstairs and found Eric dead. I’ve only this winter figured out who Dave is. Eric, I knew. He was often on the front porch smoking, a glass in his hand. I think he drank. He always waved hello. This past winter one of the brothers used his snow blower to clear the sidewalk of his house, then the house next to his and then my sidewalk. That was so wonderful. I thought it was Eric who did this but after I spoke with my immediate neighbor, Laura, I realized it was not Eric but Dave. I resolved come spring I would gift him some produce from the Public Market. That was Laura’s suggestion when I asked her how I could show my gratitude. I hate the snow. I have to shovel my back walkway and a pathway before I can get to my parking space and then around the car. It’s hard work and this year especially I have wondered how long I can continue to do it. Twice I’ve heard a loud whirr, looked out the window and seen Dave with his snowblower. I’ve opened the front door and waved in appreciation. Dave is a good neighbor. What should I do? Sympathy cards are so dreadful, impersonal and saccharine. I realize I don’t know his last name. I write my own note and address it to “Good Neighbor Dave” and place it in his mail box. Two cars are in the driveway but the house is dark. When I bought my house I did so

specifically to get away from neighbors. In my previous apartments I hated noise, wanted more privacy. I have been happy in my house. I have no doubt that the people who move in and out of the rental unit across the street have been intrigued or curious about me, what I do, who comes to visit. I am a private person. I’ve had to come to terms with having neighbors. A dying tree had dangerously rotting branches extending over three properties. I had to broker a financial deal involving all of us to have it removed. I had to ask a neighbor to help me extract a rabbit that was dead, caught in the mesh of my metal link fence. Laura walks her dog. She is unavoidable and at one point her dog was dangerously sick and when she told me, she cried and I impulsively hugged her. It seemed like the only thing to do. Being neighborly has not come easy. I think of it as something one must do. I spend about a quarter of my time in New York and it was my great fortune, or so I thought, that my friends lived in Chelsea. The fabled Greenwich Village gay enclave bit the dust a long, long time ago. Chelsea was it. Except it isn’t anymore. And it died fast. Splash, the biggest and best gay club, recently closed, sending shock waves through the community; it was an institution. Rawhide, two blocks away from where I stay, shuttered. The Big Cup closed several years ago. This last trip I learned that both Rainbows and Triangles, the gay gift and card shop, had decided to call it quits and that the swank clothing store Camouflage was also closing. In part it’s the rent. Camouflage, according to the local weekly, had it’s rent raised from seven grand a month to 20 thousand. Manhattan is a real estate nightmare. And tastes change. People shop online now. One letter writer to the gay paper wrote: “Why would I want to buy a tank top that said ‘pitcher’ or ‘catcher’ or get a Christmas tree ornament of a hunky merman?” He had a point. We’ve mainstreamed. The need for a gay enclave or ghetto has passed. There is Hell’s Kitchen and more people have moved there because of cheaper rents. So goes the neighborhood. Email: elbcad@rit.edu

Cleaning My Closet Titter. Totter. Topple. By Meredith Elizabeth Reiniger I also want to mention keyboarding. When I, spastically, as always, typed the shouldhave-been word dog food, Miss Spell Check guessed didgeridoo. Retired, not tired, life is fascinating. Sixteen years of vacation/staycation/anywaycation. My post-career days with my Self and my faithful dog are peaceful, my calendar full, my choices rewarding. And so many benefits. No bells snipping my days into frenetic bits. No predawn alarm clock nagging. No mandatory premature bedtime. Now free, nightly I settle into my rituals: read for pleasure, watch reality news, laugh at Jimmy Fallon and Seth Meyers delivering skewered news. Then, tucked and spooned in my bed, I consider what I accomplished in 16

hours. I enumerate my day’s This Is Your Life. Which is much more soothing than counting sheeps who do not stay in line, thus, bunched-up, mob their way beyond my peripheral view. (I refuse to attend to spell-check’s wavy red line under “sheeps.” The measly word “sheep” does not conjure an adequate quadrupedal quantity. And let me assure you, when a plethora of pelts flock through my cranium, they are an absolute avalanche of Ovis aries.) Pillow puffed, I tally my doings: 1. scrutinized snow, 2. murdered mice, 3. cleaned cupboards. Three? That’s not enough to lull me to sleep. Details will flesh this out. Before flake counting, I drank some mango tea. Alas, I have three tins of notgreat mango tea because my special order at the local tea store required me to buy half a wholesaled box = 59 more mediocre mango mornings. Drinking while scrutinizing and doing the math counts as three Completed Things. MURDER MINUTIAE. First the back-story. One cold, cold, north of the 104 winter’s night, wind chills –19, a family of itty bitty mice moved in. Into My House! They chewed two terrycloth towels to make their pink pups’ bedding. Mommy Mus and Daddy Mus nibbled a vending machine into the fifty-pound bag of dog food and lugged away tasty, expensive morsels. They cached piles between three cushions of my couch and chair. Cute. And hoarded oodles in my 14-inch high boots. LOL. Until they convened in my silverware drawer. Then Mickey and Minnie’s relatives transmogrified into rodents. War. Peanut-buttered four snap traps and six maze traps to lure YUCK! POOP-FULL GNAWING MAMMALS TRAIPSING THROUGH IN MY CUPBOARDS. (I wondered why an invasion this year when I have lived in my 1834 farmhouse for nine mouseless winters. Ah ha… because I had feline traps for eight years.) I turned to Omniscient Mighty Google to teach me de-mousing techniques other than buying two, soft, playful, lovable, charming, YouTube adorable kittens. OMG’s solution: stuff it. Yes, stuff all possible entry holes with steel wool, the one barrier that vermin interlopers cannot chew. Thus my sleep-lulling Completion Calculations: 77 steel wool pads stuffed + 10 traps set + 9 assassinated-rodents disposal + 9 guillotine resets (bravely risking digits) + 1 problem solving web search + 1 back-story = 107 Actualized Expectations. ADDITIONAL DETAILS. Empty and scrub 7 shelves + 2 drawers + wash 4,991 items = 5000 Satisfied Sterilizations + daily Mind, Body, Soul and Building & Grounds Maintenance = one busy day. Sound asleep was I, sheepless in Webster. Next day brought renewed perkiness and many merry moments. What to do, what to do first. Write 54 more poems? I have completed 16 for the collection entitled “Counting Backwards from Seventy: letters to my sister.” One might think I could quickly conjure up hundreds of topics from our shared seven decades. Yes, I will. Eventually. But sorting through my gray matter is complicated. Its filing system defies understanding. Its fact-checker is defunct. I had intended to finish by Leslie’s birthday, February 24. Oops, hello April Fools’ Day. I believe 70 poems will be done, such a time. Essentially my septuagenarian status makes me leery of setting any kind of deadline. What else to do? Lots more work to transform my six pedestrian chairs into funky. Embellishing is exhilarating. I whip out brushes and sponges, commence dabbing, daubing, and dotting to my heart’s content. I ecstatically leave the ordinary world, lose myself in designs magically popping into my mind. Surprise myself with fantastic color mixes. I love allowing myself to stand in my studio from me-up to sun down. If I can stand. Back story: I was gaily scurrying, surely not trying to make the

Olympic skeleton team. Jogging gently to my mailbox at the end of my 603-foot driveway. A little jaunt I have been doing for 10 years. (Oh, when I was a young 60?) Was it ice? Perhaps a lesbian lurch. WOW OH NO-ness, screamed my knee cap and I. My stars! The pop, lock, catch, and collapse that I had long called inconveniences were symptoms. Sprained knee, torn meniscus. A present for my 70th birthday. “Rest your knee,” doctor ordered. That was made easier by friends doing chores, bringing meals, and sharing their loving company. For three days I napped, knee iced and books read. Except, on day four I remembered it was nearly too late to mail my MC Soil & Water Conservation tree/bush/plant order. Solution: bundled up, cell phone/ life line in pocket; lifted my left leg gingerly into car; drove to mailbox; parked close to road. Just in case, I engaged the flashers and left the car door open… in case I fell down and couldn’t proverbially get up. I opened the mailbox, inserted envelope. Without incident. Then I backed up the car, all 603 feet, to the garage. (This year I had taught myself to back down my very long driveway by looking forward rather than over my shoulder which had always resulted in up-close and scritch-scratch contact with all my bushes). Car in reverse, eyes forward, I successfully backed home. With a slight winter advantage: the plowed snow became a luge track to help me careen home. I think I might learn to play the didgeridoo. MeredithElizabethReiniger@gmail.com

Faith Matters Katy Perry’s blasphemous act of free speech By Rev. Irene Monroe For centuries now, free speech and protecting religious sensibilities have been warring enemies. And both not only need protection from each other, but also need protection from censorship. The ongoing debate between what constitutes an artistic expression of free speech versus religious protection has recently been witnessed not in the public eye but instead under the radar on social media. And the stirred-up controversy has been with none other than America’s beloved pop music star Katy Perry. Known for theatrical excesses in her videos, some critics argued, Perry this time had run afoul of members in the worldwide Muslim community with her new video for the song “Dark Horse.” As a bejeweled Cleopatra, Perry had egregiously violated the most revered edict of Sharia blasphemy restriction laws -killing Allah. In the video, the queen-warrior Perry shoots a laser zapping a pharaoh wearing two pendants, one of which says “Allah,” meaning God in Arabic. And in the twinkling of an eye, the pharaoh disintegrates into sand, and his pendant disappears with him. Depending on what side of the debate you are on -- free speech versus protecting religious sensibilities -- Perry was either being her usual artistic no holds barred creative self or she was just culturally unaware. But for Shazad Iqbal of Bradford, West Yorkshire it didn’t matter what the reason was. And he demonstrated his outrage by drumming up more than 65,000 signatures, with an online petition on Change.org demanding that Perry’s video “Dark Horse” be removed immediately; his argument was that Perry does not have the freedom to insult or blaspheme people’s deities under the protection of free speech.

april 2014 • number 477 • the gay alliance • the empty closet “Blasphemy is clearly conveyed in the video, since Katy Perry (who appears to be representing an opposition of God) engulfs the believer and the word God in flames,” reads the petition. “This is the reason for lodging the petition so that people from different walks of life, different religions and from different parts of the world, agree that the video promotes blasphemy, using the name of God in an irrelevant and distasteful manner would be considered inappropriate by any religion.” While clearly Perry is no enemy of Islam her new video was seen nonetheless as giving a black eye to the faith. And unlike notorious public offenders of the Muslim faith -- Indian novelist Salman Rushdie, Dutch filmmaker Theo van Gogh, Somali-born writer Ayaan Hirsi Ali, and the Danish newspaper Jyllands Posten, to name a few -- there were no effigies of Katy Perry burning in Cairo or Karachi. No fatwa issued to have her hunted down, stoned or put to death. However, the question of Perry’s freedom of expression versus Iqbal’s religious sensibilities rages on even after Perry excised the offending footage. And proponents of free speech argue that since 9/11 their rights are now easily violated or put on lockdown for fear of inciting violence or committing blasphemy. But people on the other side of this debate like Iqbal argue that restrictions on religious expression have risen rapidly since 9/11. The Pew Research Center corroborates Iqbal’s assertion, revealing that 75 percent of the world’s population where religious restrictions are already in place have indeed imposed hasher laws. And countries that never had religious restrictions in the 21st Century, like France, now do, banning Muslim women wearing the niqab. The debate between Perry’s freedom of expression versus Iqbal’s religious sensibilities reminds us that we all now reside in a more interconnected and religiously pluralistic world. But in so doing, I cannot help but wonder, are we really becoming more culturally sensitive or merely thin-skinned?

A Few Bricks Short Totally Fraught! By David Hull This month’s column will be short because it has been a rough month around our house. Cold, wintry weather with little hint of the arrival of spring in sight. The power went out twice, so there was no TV and my husband, Bernie, and I actually had to talk to each other – it was horrible! The worst part was that over the past month we were fraught with illness. I love the word “fraught”. I know it’s just a dramatic way to say “full”, but to me it almost sounds dirty. “I need to do laundry! That hamper is so fraught!” “I just spilled my cup and it was fraught with coffee!” “Ouch! I just stubbed my toe and it is fraught with pain!” Sometimes after a good meal, I push back my chair and say: “Oh, I couldn’t eat another bite – I’m so fraught.” Could be why I don’t get many invitations to dinner these days? Anyway, there was lots of illness. Well, it wasn’t me – Bernie was the one who was sick. And he was fraught with lots of nasty side effects that kept him in the bathroom making nasty noises. And he was so shorttempered too – he’d be kneeling in front of the toilet, gasping and choking; and I’d push open the door and ask: “Honey, when you’re done here, will you be able to make dinner? I’m getting kind of hungry.” And then, for some unknown reason, he’d get upset with me. I’m sure you’ll be shocked to learn that I had to make my own dinner – for three nights in a row! Talk about being fraught!

The first night I had Honey-Nut Cheerios. The second night I had Raisin Bran. The third night I had a toast buffet; that’s three slices of toasted bread – one with peanut butter, one with grape jelly and the third one was “the deluxe” – which was toast with peanut butter and grape jelly. I can’t understand why I don’t have my own cooking show on the Food Network. So, there I was responsible for my own food preparation, feeding the cats and caring for my sick husband. I was totally fraught! This must be how Governor Chris Christie has felt a lot lately – a bridge fraught with traffic, those noisy news reporters fraught with questions, all those ex-staff members fraught with subpoenas. You’ll be glad to know that things are looking up now – at least for me, if not for Governor Christie. Bernie is feeling better. The snow is melting – hey, the first fraught day of spring was last month, for goodness sake. Last night we had a great dinner and it didn’t come from a cereal box or a fast food restaurant. I suppose the lesson is that everyone’s life is fraught with responsibilities these days; we just have to try to mitigate the effects. Oh yeah, mitigate it another word I love! I think life is fraught of opportunities to mitigate! Contact David at davidhull59@aol. com

Brian’s Views Planning for Our Final Years By Brian McNaught Planning for your final years is a fascinating experience when there’s no imminent threat of death. I find myself thinking more and more about it. People in their 80s might laugh at me, feeling that at age 66 I’m still very young. And maybe I do have 20 years ahead of me to prepare for death. But I nevertheless spend an increasing amount of time imagining what it will feel like to say “good-bye” to Ray, or to have him do the same to me. I brought it up with him a couple of days ago, and he replied, “Stop it. You’re going to make me cry.” Maybe it’s because I plan ahead with everything else in my life that I’m now thinking about the horror of having another person wipe my bottom. I wonder if I’m thinking about aging because I see an old man when I look in the mirror. It isn’t me, of course. I’m in my early 40s, despite what my passport says. But, when did my body start changing so dramatically? Liposuction would take care of the love handles and the belly that seem unimpressed with my exercise and diet. I could get Botox injections and have a facelift. I could dye my grey hair a darker color. But where does this war with wrin-

kles stop, and at what point do I hear the voice that is telling me that I’m fighting a losing battle? I feel sad when I watch other people use plastic surgery to look artificially young. Maybe that’s why they call it “plastic.” Being gay impacts how I think about aging. Gay men, like straight women, are aware we’re evaluated and rewarded by others based upon our youth and beauty. Handsome, young, gay men and pretty, straight women are called to the head of the line. Seeing our bodies age beyond our control confronts us with our loss of privilege, unless we’re rich. Experiencing privilege makes losing it more troubling. We fear we are becoming invisible. Not having children also impacts how I experience aging. Currently, Ray and I are having a wonderful time pampering our grand nieces and nephews. As such, we feel like grandparents. But we’re not. We live with the awareness that when we age we can’t assume that anyone will feel motivated or obligated to ensure that we decline with dignity. That’s one reason why the thought of saying “good-bye” to your spouse is so scary. Neither Ray nor I have felt lonely in 38 years. Older gay and lesbian people who are wealthy might feel that they can buy safety, comfort, and dignity in their waning years. Ray and I have tried to make sure we can afford to live securely in our old age. But money doesn’t guarantee you won’t feel “tolerated” by a nurse or home health care worker. You lose power when you depend on others to drive, cook, give you your pills and injections, and bathe you. Gay men who are HIV-positive may have greater fears than I do about how I might be treated in an assisted-living facility. Will their health care be so complicated that no one will want to keep track, or worse, make judgments about the man’s worth because of how he got infected? He probably feels safer now in the company of other HIV-positive people. Do you know what makes this rumination about aging even worse? Ray and I don’t want to be around old, gay men, most likely because we don’t want them to think we’re like them. We go to matinees, take naps, and eat early, but we’re different from the old, gay men we see. We take lots of pills, I need eye drops, and I use a gadget to hear the television dialogue, but Ray and I prefer the company of young people because we think of ourselves as equally hip. It seems as if I’m not the only gay person who is thinking about aging. Gay senior housing projects are springing up all over the country. Some of the housing is very posh, such as that in Santa Rosa, California, and some is designated as affordable, such as that in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and in Minneapolis, Minnesota. The push for gay senior housing is due to the growing awareness that aging gay men and women, and transgender people too, want to spend their final years out of the closet, unafraid of the sentiments of other residents or of staff.

23 We fear the horrible marginalization we experienced in our youth. We never want to have to endure such proselytizing, judgment, or loneliness again. Whatever it takes, we want to feel safe and valued. Despite the often-quoted Bette Davis statement, growing old is for sissies. We’re not exempt. The unique challenges we face make growing old not something we want to do without forethought. Aging and preparing to die require awareness, honesty, acceptance, planning, and gratitude. Unrealistic expectations of how good and easy it will be for us will only create suffering. Maybe it’s not silly to start thinking about it now.

Trans*missions Gender policing By Laine DeLaney In a few of my attempts at outreach and discussion with trans* communities outside of the Rochester area I’ve noticed quite a bit of gender policing among transwomen (I suspect that it’s not just among transwomen, though). I must be spoiled by living in such an open and accepting community, because I’ve never had to deal with it here. This gender policing tends to express itself through disdain and rejection expressed towards transwomen who don’t follow what is certainly a very limited social stereotype of what a woman is “supposed” to be. It manifests itself in a slavish devotion to beauty culture and an embrace of harmful and outmoded gender norms. I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with liking makeup, jewelry, and heels. The problem is the belief that these are things that all “real” women embrace (by which they mean cisgender women). I know cisgender women who don’t wear makeup, don’t wear heels, don’t wear jewelry, don’t wear bras, don’t shave anywhere, like wearing hoodies and jammies, like wearing flannel shirts, like wearing “stompy” boots or work boots, and cut their hair short. You can fit any one of those qualities or all of them and still be a woman. When I’ve brought this up in the face of this sort of discrimination, I’ve been told that, of course, some women do these things – “ugly” women. What is ugly is people who are struggling for the legitimacy of their gender identity reinforcing the stereotypes held by our culture that only harm and restrict them in the long run. What is ugly is people who have crossed or defied the gender binary reinforcing it now that they feel safely ensconced on their side of the line. What is ugly is people flailing desperately to cling to the mores of a beauty culture that would likely not accept them anyway, in a hopeless quest for a valida-

24 tion that it does not even bequeath to ninety-nine percent of cisgender women. As always, something that I find especially hideous is people thinking that they have to knock each other over in order to stand up for themselves. Women have been fighting for centuries now to be free of cultural standards that force them to dress and behave in certain ways – standards that have been implemented to control and manipulate them and put them in a submissive place relative to men. Women have struggled, and been hurt, isolated, incarcerated, mutilated, and yes, killed trying to ensure that future generations of women can vote, have jobs, own property, dress however they want to, live on their own and have value as people. Men in our culture are valued for their accomplishments; women still need to fight to be valued for something other than arbitrary standards of beauty or the ability to bear and raise children. If the women’s liberation and gender equality movements had not occurred, we wouldn’t have the language or precedent necessary to discuss the gender issues that make being openly trans* in our modern society possible, much less marginally acceptable. Don’t undermine the sacrifices that brave and selfless women have made to improve the quality of life and freedom for people of all genders. Enjoy your makeup and rock your heels, but don’t forget that your trappings are not your gender identity, or the measure of your worth. Your gender identity is your own personal, subjective experience. Your worth as a person comes from your actions, your accomplishments, your struggles, your losses and your triumphs.

What’s Bothering Brandon? Leathermen, Rubbermen and Bears: an Endangered Species By Brandon W. Brooks Spring has a truly magical way of bringing us all back to life, back into the light, back into the warmth. My energy reserves begin to refill themselves, my tolerance ceiling for everyday annoyances rises to unheard of heights, and I wake up actually wanting to interact with humans (imagine!). I write this April 2014 column while it is still March, and these longed for symptoms of spring fever have yet to push through the still-cold soil of the winter. This winter, even for Rochester, has been especially harsh and I will be quite glad to say goodbye to it. I would even trade in my meticulously maintained and well-loved, asocial disagreeableness for these feverish symptoms, just so long as the sunlight shines warmer, and there is no more snow to be seen (or drudged through for that matter). In the meantime I shall survive only by continuing to pretend that I am Lady Mary Crawley, passing through this dismal grey weather, perpetually engaged in a battle of whocan-be-colder. I’ll win. With the promise of spring and warmer weather so close, it can sometimes be difficult to sustain a healthy amount of distain within myself. However fear not, for I have found a bothersome trend that will be sure to remedy this situation: Rochester’s dwindling fetish community. When one mentions the word fetish, most people immediately jump to the idea of BDSM, intensive role-play, or dungeons. Others, particularly if you are gay and male, may think of the Leather Community, the Bear Community, or even the more exotic (and rarer) Rubbermen Community. Being a pursuer of online LGBT groups, I have often seen large and thriving fetish communities in other cities such

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 477 • april 2014 as San Francisco, New York, Chicago and especially London. I always wondered, with a tinge of jealousy, why these communities were not also present (to my awareness) in Rochester. Now, Rochester is much smaller than these cities, which might account for the very little information I was (at first) able to discover in regard to fetish and kink communities in the area. I also considered the fact that fetish communities often involve a certain level of clandestineness. I decided to conduct a little private eye work to see what I could dig up on Rochester’s fetish communities, what actually existed, and why these communities were so small in comparison. It was all very cloak-and-dagger; black veils were involved. My first goal was to speak with current Bachelor Forum owner and operator Peter Mohr. I wanted to know from Mohr how he felt Rochester’s fetish community has waxed and waned over the decades, both in size and presence, and why this was exactly. The Bachelor Forum, for those who do not know, is the home bar for Rochester’s very own Leatherman/motorcycle community, The Battering Rams M.C. or The Rochester Rams for short. Celebrating fraternity, an affinity for leather and motorcycles, The Rochester Rams provides the gay male community with a safe and friendly opportunity to communicate, meet and spend time with likeminded gay men. Much like many other leathermen and motorcycle communities, The Rochester Rams is a vital component needed in order to unify, organize and spread the love of leather and motorcycles among Rochester’s gay male demographic. Mohr was sure to point out that despite now only having four local members (down from 12 in its hay-day), The Rochester Rams has been going strong for over 40 years. And for Rochester, I’d say they are doing a damn good job. The Bachelor Forum has also played host to The Empire Bears, a Bear community officially established in 1995, who have made their strong presence in Rochester known through community outreach programs, night and weekend events, fundraising, game nights, annual participation in the pride parade, and commitment to the GAGV. In an attempt to widen and reinforce the roots of the Bear community in Rochester, Mohr has developed an additional outlet for selfidentified bears through the Bears of Rochester. Mohr hosts the Bears of Rochester at The Bachelor Forum with Bears Night, as well as their annual Bear and Bear-cub Competition where Mr. New York State Bear is crowned. Mohr asserts, “This helps to draw in more bears and bear-cubs to the Rochester area, where few resources exist of this kind.” I tend to agree; Rochester could always use more fetish-based community events, programs and fetish-friendly (and fetish-aware) venues. My next fetish contact was a Mr. Edwin Sims, former member of The Rochester Rams for 17 years, from 19952013. I wanted to know if Sims agreed that the fetish communities within Rochester, in comparison to other cities’ fetish communities, seemed to be mysteriously lacking. Sims agreed that Rochester’s fetish scene was lacking in both variety and size, but stressed its lack of mystery. “The reason fetish communities all over the US are dwindling is due to the internet. One only has to type into Google what they are looking for, and they’ll find it.” The internet, which connects millions of people for countless reasons, depersonalizes the fetish experience. It allows us to find people without actually entering into and spending time within our communities any longer. With internet access on our phones at all times, and with gay hook-up apps such as Grindr and Recon (which is fetish-based), the need for fetish communities has been diminished, or even rendered obsolete. With this, the true art of cruising has all but died. Social interaction, trust, intimacy and

fraternal bonding have also taken huge hits with these technological (and social) advances; one does not need to form fetish communities or lasting friendships in order to meet those interested in the same or similar fetish scene. Sims emphasizes, “…fetish communities have become more private…” as a result of the internet, where most of the interested individuals do not know of each other’s existence, let alone form communities. Sims went on to say that even the Rochester LGBT community itself, with its large generation gap, has begun to turn its back on the fetish community. Many groups within the Rochester LGBT community have lamented the presence of fetish groups within the annual Gay Pride Parade, stating they are too risqué, inappropriate, or too sexual for the parade. “It’s as if we are being placed back into the moral closet. They don’t want us present anymore.” It seems the internet is not the only thing crippling the fetish community of Rochester, but maybe even certain facets of the LGBT community itself. Sims regaled me with stories of Rochester’s once rich fetish community; its height in the 1970s, its hard-hitting decline in the 1980s due to HIV/AIDS, and its slow and steady rise from the ashes in the 1990s. I have to admit, I was jealous that I was not old enough at this time to explore my own interests, especially with a large community of teachers, guides and brothers to assist me. “The 2000s is when the community started to decline again,” Sims states, perfectly consistent with the internet’s increase in accessibility and bandwidth speed at this time. Whether it’s the internet, the LGBT generation gap (don’t get me started), or the LGBT community turning against itself, the Rochester fetish community (and the worldwide fetish community), particularly among gay men, has died down considerably. When asked about Rochester’s Rubbermen community I was told by both Mohr and Sims that this community was essentially nonexistent in Rochester. Mohr states, “We once had a young man with a genuine interest in rubber and gear-play, and we hosted an event at The [Bachelor] Forum. Unfortunately, the turn-out was less than encouraging.” This troubled me. I must give Rochester credit, however, for what it does currently provide in regard to fetish-based community support groups. Rochester is home to the Rochester Kink Society, a largely pansexual organization catering towards Rochester’s

BDSM and fetish demographic, as well as Rochester’s annual Erotic Arts Festival. However both the RKS and the annual Erotic Arts Festival are not, as one would expect, organizations or events that accommodate for the needs of gay Leathermen, Rubbermen or the Bear community exclusively. Indeed, when speaking to RKS’ Event Coordinator and Chairperson Kat, I was informed that RKS “…is a pansexual organization…that does not value one fetish over another…” Kat was also sure to add that RKS “… may not have a steady stream of gay men…” but that RKS’ participating community has “…effectively doubled from 70 to 200 members in the past five years…” At least someone is getting it right. It appears as if an entire facet of our LGBT identity, of our LGBT history, is disappearing before our very eyes. This very well may be due to the internet and the generation gap, where young LGBT people simply don’t care to connect in person, or worse the LGBT community sacrificing part of its identify and inheritance in an attempt to assimilate more quickly with mainstream, heternormative culture. Either way, the commitment to cultivate and maintain resilient fetish communities has flagged. I would really love to see the Rochester fetish community reacting more strongly against this invalidating, morally condescending shift towards sexual repression. Until then, I am faithfully bothered. Questions, comments or critique? Please feel free to e-mail the author at: brandonb@ gayalliance.org ■

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april 2014 • number 477 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

Community Find the friends, fun, and common interests you’re looking for through the various groups listed here.

Dignity-Integrity D-I Rochester meets weekly at 5 p.m. at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St., corner of Broad St. We have the following services and activities for the month of April, 2014: 1st Sunday: Episcopal Mass/Healing Service, with music. 2nd Sunday: Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, with music & Blessing of the Palms. 3rd Sunday: Episcopal Mass to celebrate Easter Sunday. 4th Sunday: Evening Prayer, followed by a Potluck Dinner! Join us if you can this Easter season. Palm Sunday falls on the second Sunday so our liturgy will include a Blessing of the Palms. On the third Sunday we will meet in the church to celebrate Easter. Our fourth Sunday Potluck theme for April is “Easter Eats”. This is a new theme for us and I think it sounds like fun! What are some of your favorite Easter traditions? I am sure that there will be more than just jelly beans and Easter eggs. No time to cook or shop? Just ask a friend or two and join us for food and fun! You can call the Hotline at 585-2345092 or check our website at www.dirochester.org/ for updates on services and activities.

EMPIRE BEARS Spring is here??? As I write this, not so much. Maybe by the time you read it…. I hope. April 10-13, we’ll be in Erie at Drenched Fur, a great weekend with a

few hundred men, pools, hot tubs, a water park, food, comedy, dancing, and did I mention a few hundred hot hairy men? At least it’s all inside. The BEARS are looking forward to warmer weather, getting out into the woods, hiking, enjoying nature, camping. Join us for a weekend at Jones Pond or Hillside, where members have lots of fun. The campgrounds open at the beginning of May. The Bears can be found having supper with Becky at Carrabba’s on West Henrietta Rd at 6 on first Mondays and third Wednesdays. Other Wednesdays we check out other diners, drive-ins and dives. Members are bowling at Olympia every other Sunday. We’re at the Cinema for a movie quite often. We had a great time at the RGMC concert in March. Join us and get out of your cave.

ROMANS The last nude swim at Harro East came and went, and ROMANS members have to wait until the next season to enjoy this privilege again with Naturist Rochester. ROMANS members are looking forward to some networking opportunities with other nude groups during the summer months. We will invite members of local nude groups to our regular meetings at members’ backyards with a swimming pool, we will mingle with members of Buffalo’s In-the-Buff at Jones Pond Campground and RV Park one weekend in June, we will hang out with Toronto’s TNT members at the World Pride on another week-

end in June, and we will join gay nudists from all over the world at the Gay Naturists International’s NakedFest in August at Camp Ramblewood in Maryland. The ROMANS is also working on attending a Males Au Naturel (MAN based in New York City) function in Manhattan to socialize with some big city nudists to exchange ideas and learn from one another. Summer is for nudists. Take off your clothes to feel the freedom. Come join us for some nude fun. ROMANS is a social club for gay and gay-friendly male nudists over 21. Please check out our website at http://www.wnyromans.com/. You can also contact the ROMANS at message line 585-281-4964, by E-mail wnyromans@yahoo.com or via regular mail at PO Box 92293, Rochester, NY 14692.

Rochesternygrrlz Time to get your girl on! Social gathering for Crossdressers and Allies takes place 4-6 p.m., Saturday, April 19 in a safe and welcoming environment at Gay Alliance, 875 E. Main St., fifth floor. Girls’ night out follows this event, 6 p.m. until...? Changing space is available. For more information, see https://groups.yahoo. com/group/rochesternygrrlz/

Rochester Rams The Rochester Rams invite you to join us for our “Stuff Yer Basket” bar night on Saturday, April 19, at the Bachelor Forum bar from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. It will be a great night to show off your Easter goodies in leather, latex, spandex or just plain ol’ levis. Tradition continues with our annual Can-Am bar night hosted by the men of Spearhead from Toronto. Can-Am is one of the busiest and hottest nights of the year. Join us on May 17 at the Bachelor Forum from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. The Rochester Rams is the oldest

25 leather/levi club in Western New York state. We hold general meetings open to the public in our clubroom located in the basement of the Bachelor Forum on the Wednesdays preceding bar night. Upcoming meetings are April 16, May 14 and June 18. For more information, please see our website at www.rochesterrams.com.

Trans* Alliance of Greater Rochester Our February meeting was facilitated by JoAnne Metzler. Raquel AcevedoPagan, who has had extensive experience in art therapy, came to our meeting to help facilitate greater expression through visual art and the creation of symbolic self-portraits. Raquel helped to show us ways of communicating things that are often difficult to convey through words. It was a productive, helpful and fun session for all involved, and we’d like to thank Raquel again for coming out and making this a wonderful and informative meeting! Starting in April we will be having two meetings a month. The first meeting will be on the second Saturday of the month at the Gay Alliance, fifth floor, 875 E. Main St. and will be our Planning Meeting where we discuss potential topics for upcoming meetings and side projects related to and sponsored by the Trans* Alliance of Greater Rochester. All are welcome at the planning meeting; we would like to hear suggestions for projects and events as well as subjects for upcoming meetings. The second monthly meeting will be our standard Support/Education meeting, and will be held on the last Saturday of the month. There is still some question as to what is taking place for the April session of our Support/Education meeting. We will post it on our Facebook group and on our website at http://rnytg.org/ as soon as we have this information available. We hope to see you there! ■

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 477 • april 2014

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april 2014 • number 477 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

Arts & Entertainment

Frank Viveros.

Frank Viveros talks about the new “Phantom of the Opera” By Susan Jordan A new production of The Phantom of the Opera takes the Auditorium Theatre stage April 16-17. This production of the well-known musical features new staging and sets and a cast and orchestra of 52. To purchase tickets, call 800745-3000 or visit Ticketmaster. com, or the RBTL box office, 885 East Main St. Tickets start at $37.50. Frank Viveros, who plays the role of “Ubaldo Piangi,” originated the roles of Bloat The Blowfish in Disney’s Finding Nemo: The Musical, and Iron Chef in off-Broadway’s Yellow Brick Road. His favorite past roles include Caroline, or Change (Bus/Dryer), Once on this Island (Agwe), Buddy (Apollo), Songs for a New World (Man 1), Children of Eden (Cain), Sweeney Todd (Beadle). Frank answered some questions from The Empty Closet: What is your take on your character, Ubaldo Piangi? I love Piangi the way I love the Real Housewives franchise. He is desperate for the spotlight and doesn’t always come across as the most competent when he gets it. I equate him to many reality TV “stars” or those wellknown runner-ups on American Idol. If he were alive today he would hire a publicist and fabricate a scandal with an A-lister

to hold on to his 15 minutes of fame. What can audiences expect - especially if they have seen “Phantom” before? How is this production different? This production is massive! We travel with 20 trucks and our mobile town of 52 citizens, that includes actors, musicians, technicians and management, making us one of the largest tours currently making its way across North America. When the audience sees the updated technology and splendor they see why we are so big. The size of the show is because of the decadence of its story, but the acting style is intimate and more in tune with modern aesthetic. As a “Phan” of the show I really appreciate the clarity and focus that this production brings to the story. Where is your hometown and how/why did you decide to go into show business? I have multiple hometowns. I was born in Cali, Colombia and then raised in Brooklyn, NY. I went to college in SUNY Fredonia and would spend every Easter with the Link family in Rochester (I’m aching for a garbage plate). I just moved from NYC to LA recently but my family still lives in Brooklyn so I guess that would be the easiest answer, but all of the places that feel like home are valid answers for me. This business is hard and it chose me and I just had to succumb and seek training to keep doing it. Nothing else feels better to me. Do you think of yourself as

an actor or singer first or both equally? I think I’m equally talented and flawed in both realms, so let’s go with both equally. That said, most of my roles tend to be heavy in the singing department. What performers have inspired you most? Placido Domingo, Celia Cruz, Whitney Houston, Chuck Cooper.... All for completely different reasons but each very important to me. What would your ideal role be, and would it be on stage, TV or in film? Do you have a preference? I love the stage and it will always be my first love. At the end of the day I’m a storyteller, so I hope the ideal role hasn’t been written yet and when it is, it won’t matter which platform it’s on as long as I am ready to play it and enjoy it.

Bill Evans Dance Company to perform April 13 The Bill Evans Dance Co. will perform at Hochstein Performance Hall, 50 Plymouth Ave. N, on Sunday, April 13, at 4 and 7 p.m. Bill Evans told The Empty Closet, “Don Halquist and I have been committed life partners for 28 1/2 years, and were legally married in Vermont in August of 2009.” The Company gave its first performances at the National Cathedral in Washington, D.C. in the summer of 1975. For several years, the company was the most-booked professional U.S. dance ensemble. The company has appeared in all 50 U.S. states, throughout Canada and Mexico and in 20 other countries. For the past two years, BEDCO has performed at the Jacob’s Pillow Dance Festival. These will be the company’s 48th and 49th performances in Rochester in the past 10 years. The 40th Anniversary Gala Program will include Rochester premieres: Claire Porter’s See You Around; William Evans’ Portrait of a Lady; William Evans’ Multiple Margaret; William Evans’ Doctor Jazz performed by Guest Artists FuturPointe Dance and reviv-

Visit The Hot L Baltimore at Blackfriars Take a trip back to the 1970s with Blackfriars Theatre’s production of Lanford Wilson’s comedy-drama, The Hot L Baltimore. The Hotel Baltimore used to be the most luxurious place in town. Not anymore. It’s lost the “e” in its marquee sign and eviction notices just went out to its residents, a plethora of society’s outcast inhabitants, who call the seedy hotel home. With the structure as dilapidated as its residents, this play is a moving and humorous look at everyday humanity and the ties that bind. “This play is at the same time

“The Hot L Baltimore” is at Blackfriars this month.

funny, touching, and haunting,” says director David Runzo. “Lanford Wilson has written a beautiful story full of rich characters trying to cope with

life and loss while still striving to find hope.” The play, which won the 1973 Drama Critics’ Circle Award for Best American Play

Bill Evans Dance 40th Anniversary Celebration Concerts take place at Hochstein on April 13, at 4 and 7 p.m. Photos were taken at the Jacob’s Pillow Dance Festival in August 2013, by Whitney Browne.

als of excerpts from Evans’ For Jamie; Impressions of Willow Bay; Tres Tangos and Quartet for Jacquie. Bill Evans Dance Company: Falon Baltzell, Kathy Diehl, William Evans, Don Halquist, Leanne Rinelli, Adrian Safar, Vanessa Van Wormer; Guest Artists: Mariah Maloney, Corina Ferro, Hilary Denison, Jen Dayton, Morgan Hassan, Natlie Swan, Haley Zdebski. Members of FuturPointe Dance: N’Jelle Gage, Guy Thorne, Heather Roffe, Melinda Phillips, Liam J. Knighten, Kathryn Bowering. Tickets: Patrons (reserved seats, center section), $40 online or at the door. General Admission, $15 online, $20 at the door; Students, $10 at the door and online. College at Brockport Students, $5 at the door. Online purchases: bedco2014. brownpapertickets.com The box office will open 30 minutes before show time. The Evans Company has presented almost 50 perfor-

mances in Rochester during the past decade, at Hochstein Performance Hall, Geva Theatre Center, Rochester School of the Arts, RAPA, Eastman School of Music, University of Rochester and Nazareth College. They have also performed frequently in Brockport and several times in Buffalo. In 2012 and 2013 the company performed at the prestigious Jacob’s Pillow Dance Festival in Massachusetts (Inside/Out Stage). ■

RGMC fundraiser dinner, musical revue set for May 10 Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus’s spring fundraiser will be a dinner and a musical revue titled “More Than Us!” on Saturday, May 10. The entertainment roster stars the Chorus and some of their talented friends – hence “More Than Us”. The Mistress of Ceremonies will be Darienne Lake, who has long been loved by Rochester audiences and now has a strong national following, as she is a

and the Obie Award for Best American Play, was also adapted into a half hour sitcom for ABC in 1975. The cast features a collection of Rochester’s finest talent including Jimmy Boorum as Paul Granger III, Vicki Casarett as Millie, Morey Fazzi as Mr. Katz, Mandy Hassett as The Girl, Greg Ludek as Suzy’s John/ Cab Driver, Richard Mancini as Mr. Morse, Janine Mercandetti as Mrs. Oxenham, Devin O’Connell as Jamie, Dawn Sargent as Mrs. Bellotti, Marcy Savastano as Jackie, Alexa ScottFlaherty as Suzy, Jeff Siuda as Bill and Stephanie Siuda as April. The Hot L Baltimore runs at Blackfriars (795 East Main St.) through April 12. Performances

Darienne Lake.

contestant this spring on popular TV reality show “RuPaul’s ( RGMC continues page 28)

are Thursdays, April 3 and 10 at 7:30 pm; Fridays, April 4 and 11 at 8 p.m.; Saturdays, April 5 and 12 at 8 p.m., and Sunday, April 6 at 2 p.m. Tickets are $28.50-$36.50 and available in person at Blackfriars Theatre, online at www.blackfriars. org, or by calling 585-4541260. If available, tickets can be purchased at the door beginning one-hour prior to performance. Box Office hours are Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., and Saturdays, noon to 4 p.m. MasterCard, Visa, and Discover are accepted at no additional charge. Parking is available on site. Handicapped seating is available. For more information regarding Blackfriars Theatre, visit their website at www.blackfriars.org. ■

28 ( RGMC continued from page 27) Drag Race.” This evening of entertainment will take place at Zeppa Auditorium in the historic German House. In addition to RGMC, performers will include Women of Note, Webster Theatre Guild, Give to Live Rochester, Blackfriars Theatre and more. “More Than Us!” also will feature silent and live auctions. Tickets are $55 each and go on sale soon. The ticket includes dinner, dessert, and show. The cash bar and doors open at 6 p.m., with dinner served at 7 p.m. and show at 7:30 p.m. Sponsorships are available at levels of $250, $500, and $1,000. Please visit thegrmc.org to learn more about the event, tickets, and sponsorships.

Geva presents Essie Calhoun Award to Thomas Warfield Geva Theatre will present its annual Essie Calhoun Award for Diversity in the Arts to Thomas Warfield, dancer, choreographer , teacher and founder of PeaceArt International, on April 11 at Geva. The award ceremony will precede a performance of “I and You” by Lauren Gunderson at 7 p.m., followed by a reception. To RSVP for the event, contact Mary Ragus at 585-420-2049 or mragus@gevatheatre.org by April 7.

“Shoulders To Stand On” will screen at MuCCC at April 28 benefit The documentary “Shoulders To Stand On: The LGBT History of Rochester NY,” will be screened at a Pay What You Wish benefit for GAGV and

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 477 • april 2014 MuCCC on April 28 at MuCCC, 142 Atlantic Ave. at 7:30 p.m. In the 90-minute video, directed by Kevin J. Indovino, Rochester takes center stage in a documentary about a city that has always been at the forefront of social change and justice. Shoulders to Stand On begins by exploring a not-so-distant past: before Stonewall and before the birth of the gay rights movement. We discover a city at the height of prosperity, a city steeped in history and yet overshadowed by secrets. Before the 1970s, the fear of losing jobs and family kept gay men and women underground, living double lives. Meeting places and local watering holes were constantly under the scrutiny of police; raids and payoffs were common, unchallenged practices of the day. But in 1969, the Stonewall Riots would provide the spark that ignited voices across the nation. With the insight and courage of a small group of university students, Rochester’s Gay Liberation Movement was born. Their voices quickly propelled Rochester into one of the most progressive and influential LGBT communities in the country. Inspired by the spirit of a city renowned for the legacies of Susan B. Anthony and Frederick Douglass, Rochester’s LGBT community would set the bar for gay activism and religious tolerance. It would lead the way to put the first openly gay candidate into an elected office in New York State. It would rise to the fight against AIDS, bringing together an entire community with care and education. The Flower City and its corporations would be one of the first to implement domestic partnership benefits and, more recently, it would be a key player in getting a gay marriage bill passed in New York. Shoulders to Stand On celebrates the brave men and women who had the courage to step out of the closet, allowing their voices to be heard, in the tradition of a

city whose history is firmly grounded in freedom and equality for all.

The Normal Heart defines what it really means to be “gay” By Adam Young The Normal Heart, written by Larry Kramer and presented March 8–23 by JCC CenterStage at the Jewish Community Center in Brighton, chronicles the three-year journey of writer Ned Weeks (portrayed by Stephen Cena), as he struggles to force people’s attention to the seriousness of HIV during the early 1980s in New York City. Presented by Trillium Health for LGBT Health Month, the production powerfully highlighted an era of apathy and jumbled self-identity, as both straight and gay people are bent on ignoring the devastation caused by the disease.

The towering stone façades of the set inscribed with both “HIV-” and “HIV+” powerfully represent the opposition faced by Weeks from all sides as he unabashedly fights to establish an organization dedicated to educate and assist people affected by the disease. While straight people are too embarrassed to help the increasing number of infected gay men, the closeted gay community is equally resistant to Ned’s bullhorn strategy to draw attention to the disease (and thus themselves). While Ned calls for gay men to become abstinent, at least until the virus is better understood, he is repeatedly called out for his hypocrisy as he formerly engaged in the same promiscuous behavior he is trying to rally people to stop. Skillfully directed by Brian Coughlin, each actor was successful in portraying the range of societal attitudes toward the disease, from the initial indifference of Ned’s brother Ben (portrayed by Roy Wise) and reluctant, closeted committee

april 2014 • number 477 • the gay alliance • the empty closet president Bruce (portrayed by Jake Purcell), to the explosive arguments between Ned and his partner, Felix (portrayed by Carl DelBuono), to the exhausted, guiltridden breakdown of Health Administrator Mickey (portrayed by Daniel Mejak) as the uphill battle for support begins to take its toll. Not even closeted assistant to the mayor Hiram Keebler (portrayed by Peter Doyle) is willing to ally himself with the cause. The play occasionally throttles back and takes a few good-natured pokes at gay stereotypes. Felix is a fashion writer (of course) for the New York Times, and Tommy (portrayed by Darlando Eanon) makes a flirtatiously obvious pass at Ned. However the play most often focuses on Ned’s efforts to raise straight and gay consciousness alike. Ned labors to make everyone understand that being “gay” doesn’t automatically represent promiscuous sexual behavior, and that HIV is destroying serious relationships, not solely

discarded barflies after one-night stands. In addition to almost everyone’s seeming indifference to the disease, a great deal of emotional turmoil is created by the lack of biological understanding of the disease itself, and thus the lack of concrete answers, solidifying the xenophobic era. Polio-stricken Dr. Emma Brookner (portrayed by Kerry Young) is constantly torpedoed with desperate questions from confused, infected men, which she cannot answer. The play successfully portrays the time period during the infancy of HIV, when attitudes slowly began to change and people began to stop associating the term “sick” with homosexuality. The underlying theme suggests that while much progress has since been made toward understanding HIV and that homosexuality is not itself an illness, much work remains to be done, both in defeating the global epidemic and in defining LGBTQ people as human beings. ■

The view from the Portsmouth Harbor cruise

Travel On the road to Portsmouth By Merle Exit Portsmouth, NH is on the list of “Gay Destinations”, although not obvious. Laurie and I took a road trip from Queens along with an itinerary of the “hot spots” beginning with two that will acquaint us with the area: Strawbery Banke and the Portsmouth Harbor Cruise. Strawbery Banke is a ten acre museum of historic renovated homes and businesses that formed in a neighborhood once known as Puddle Dock. Since the history covers 300 years don’t expect the “period costume living museum” atmosphere of places such as the ilk in Williamsburg or Sturbridge Village in Massachusetts. In most of the 42 buildings on their original site you will find a docent in each building and a scheduled “time period owner” in one. For instance, going to the Shapiro House I encountered Mrs. Shapiro, a Ukrainian Jewish immigrant in 1919 who was tending to household tasks. She described the foods that she was making as well as her family’s journey to the United States. Due to her Hebrew Calendar, the holiday of Succoth was being celebrated. A sukkot was erected in the garden just outside of the home. Strawbery Banke is open from May 1 to October 31 but there are guided walking tours and special events from November 1 to December 30. Visit the houses at your own pace using a Visitor’s Guide site map and be sure to take in the sights and aromas of the gardens. Those houses that are open will have a flag displayed with the number of stars in accordance with the era

of the historic home. The admission price allows you to return the next day (suggested to do). www.strawberybanke.org On the Harbor Cruise we sail out of the harbor on the Piscatqua River passing the Portsmouth Naval Shipyard, which is actually located in Kittery, Maine. One of the tasks of the shipyard is to repair submarines, one of which we could view. History was told of the homes, bridges, forts and lighthouses during the 1½ hour cruise. Other available cruises include an “Isles of Shoals Cruise” of the nine legendary islands located six miles off the coast, an “Inland River & Fall Foliage Cruise” that heads inland to either Great Bay or Cocheco River, as well as evening and sunset cruises. www.portsmouthharbor.com The Music Hall, located at 28 Chestnut St., is a Victorian-era theatre that features curated entertainment from all over the world, the oldest theatre in New Hampshire. Although we were unable to attend a performance, we did have a guided tour of the lobby, 900-seat auditorium, state, backstage, and even the bathrooms. No kidding, even if you don’t have to pish, you must see these stunning fancy but up-to-date bathrooms! When asked if anyone wanted to perform on the stage, it didn’t take much for me to reenact a scene from the Wizard of Oz. Can I place this on my resume? www.themusichall.org Where to stay: Port Inn is clean and comfortable. Microwave and refrigerator in the room, heated outdoor pool, and continental breakfast is included. www. theportinn.com. Restaurants: Blue Mermaid Island Grill has Caribbean with a flair and outdoor deck. www.bluemermaid.com; Portsmouth Gaslight Company – American with other influences and “Downtown Pizza” downstairs www. portsmouthgaslight.com; Portsmouth Brewery brews their own beer as well as having hearty American fare. www.portsmouthbrewery.com,

Make Rochester Green and support the Gay Alliance with Broccolo Garden Center’s “Goodness Grows” Program. On May 17th and 18th Broccolo Garden Center will donate 10% of your purchase to the Gay Alliance when you present this coupon at check out.

2755 Penfield Road Fairport NY 14450

Gay alliance news for april 2014

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 477 • april 2014

tant event. April 18 Fabulous Friday will be hosting a lock-in at Open Arms MCC. We will be locked in from 7 p.m. - 7 a.m. There will be lots of activities planned, including movies, games, food, etc. Please keep an eye out on our Twitter (@GAGVYouth), Facebook and email for more updates. ’80s Zombie Prom is only one month way. Are you ready to dance it out ’80s style during the zombie apocalypse? This year the prom will be held at the Diplomat Party house on Lyell. Prom starts at 7 p.m. and goes until 11 p.m. Tickets will be available soon. We will have a makeup artist who can make you into a rad zombie if you want. Come dressed in ’80s style or whatever you feel comfortable in. Humans and zombies are all welcome. Chuck and Bonnie. Photo Owen Zacharias

Ride For Pride 5: We Put The Ride In Pride! By Jeanne Gainsburg On June 14, about 50 dedicated riders will be hitting the pavement to help raise some much-needed funds for the Gay Alliance. All of the money raised (minus a small percentage that Firstgiving charges to process your credit card) will go directly to the Gay Alliance. Last year our 40 riders and crew raised $22,000. This year our goal is $25,000! If you would like to support one of our amazing riders, please go to our website at: http://www. gayalliance.org/events/rideforpride.html and click on the rider’s name. You will be redirected to their secure donation page at FirstGiving, then follow the simple instructions. If you would rather not donate online, you can send the name of the

rider you would like to support, along with a check made out to the Gay Alliance, to Gay Alliance/Ride For Pride, 875 East Main St., Suite 500, Rochester NY 14605. Please help us make our goal this year! Your support at any level is appreciated by so many. “Every time I see an adult on a bicycle I no longer despair for the future of the human race.” H.G. Wells

Youth Update: Day of Silence is April 11 at Trillium; Fabulous Friday lock-in is April 18 By Dawn Balsis April is here and hopefully with that the snow is gone. Trillium Health on April 11 will be hosting Day of Silence this year. Please check out their website for further information. We encourage the youth to participate in this moving and impor-

Understanding the Challenges: LGBTQ Cultural Competence Training for Providers of Elder Care Services By Jeanne Gainsburg For 40 years the Gay Alliance has been providing education to the community on lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) issues. As one of the oldest LGBTQ organizations in the country, we are proud to continue our core mission of educating, advocating and celebrating LGBTQ life and culture by offering you our new Understanding the Challenges: LGBTQ Cultural Competence Training for Providers of Elder Care Services. LGBTQ seniors are an underserved community of people who bring unique challenges to agencies providing services for the elderly. These individuals are at an increased risk for social isolation, depression and anxiety

Gay Alliance Youth (Ages 13-20) Fabulous Fridays, 7-9pm, Open Arms MCC 707 E. Main Street, Rochester 14605

Youth

Gay Alliance Youth Program The Gay Alliance Youth program empowers today’s teens to meet today’s challenges! It provides a safe space to explore their identity, make friends, build community, gain life skills, become a leader and have fun!

Gay Alliance Youth Gender Identity Support Group (Ages 13-20) Thursdays, 5:30-6:30pm Gay Alliance Library (1st floor, off Prince St. lobby) 875 E. Main Street For more information: dawnb@gayalliance.org The Gay Alliance 875 E. Main Street, Fifth Floor (Auditorium Theater) Rochester, New York 14605 Phone: 585 244-8640

Gay Alliance Volunteer-of-the-Month: Tara Winner Congratulations to Tara Winner for being chosen as the Gay Alliance Volunteer-of-the-Month for April! Tara received her Masters of Library Science degree from the University of Buffalo in 2006 and a Masters of Art History from Binghamton University in 1999. As a librarian cataloger at the Brian Sutton-Smith Library and Archives of Play at the Strong, Tara is busy making sure that their amazing collection is accessible to researchers from around the world, but she also makes the time to help out with the library collection at the Gay Alliance. Tara has been volunteering for the Gay Alliance Library & Archives since 2009, primarily cataloging the large book collection. She heard about the library program by visiting a table at the Pride Festival and is now a member of the Library Leadership Team. In addition, Tara has worked as a grant-funded archivist for the Shoulders to Stand On archives project, and was a major volunteer contributor to the Forging Alliances History Panel exhibit that was unveiled at Pride 2013. “Tara is such an important member of our team,” said Gerry Szymanski, Gay Alliance Library & Archives Director. “From raising funds for our Pride banner, to working hard on converting our nonfiction book collection over from Dewey Decimal to LC, her dedication each week and beyond to helping the library and the Alliance is nothing short of amazing!” We are so grateful to have Tara as a part of our Library and Archives volunteer team. On behalf of the Gay Alliance staff and board, we thank you for all of your hours, your commitment and your support.

and they often delay seeking care for themselves due to fear of discrimination and mistreatment by health care providers. Having come of age in an era where being LGBTQ was considered a mental illness, criminal and sinful, these individuals often feel fear and vulnerability as they ponder senior care options. After many years of living openly and authentically, many LGBTQ seniors chose to hide their true identities in an effort to remain safe from discrimination and violence. Gay Alliance Executive Director, Scott Fearing, Gay Alliance Education Director, Jeanne Gainsburg and HIV/ AIDS Prevention Specialist Charlie Lytle join forces to bring you this fast-paced, dynamic, informational full day cultural competency training. We will focus on understanding the unique barriers to care faced by LGBTQ seniors, how to create an environment at senior service

agencies that is inclusive and welcoming of diversity, and how to ensure that LGBTQ seniors at your agency are able to acknowledge their life experiences and age with dignity and respect. Participants will receive an Understanding the Challenges: LGBTQ Cultural Competence Training for Providers of Elder Care Services Manual, a certificate of course completion and an official Gay Alliance SafeZone sticker for their office or workplace. Understanding the Challenges: LGBTQ Cultural Competence Training for Providers of Elder Care Services will take place on Friday, May 9, 2014 from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. (registration and check in at 8:30 a.m.) in the Canteen Room at the Rochester Red Cross (50 Prince Street Rochester 14607). The cost is $75 per person, donuts/bagels and lunch included. To register, go to www.gayalliance.org and click on the yellow slide.

The Gay Alliance is a non-profit agency, dedicated to cultivating a healthy, inclusive environment where Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning (LGBTQ) people are safe, thriving, and enjoying equal rights. We are a coalition of individuals and groups working to empower LGBTQ people to affirm their identities and create an atmosphere where the diversity can thrive both collectively and separately. We educate and advocate for civil rights for all and for the eradication of homophobia. The Gay Alliance, 875 East Main Street, Rochester, New York 14605 Phone: (585) 244-8640 Fax: (585) 244-8246 Website: www.gayalliance.org E-mail: Info@gayalliance.org Hours: Monday-Friday, 9 am-5 pm Board President: David Zona Board Vice President: Jessica Muratore Executive Director: Scott Fearing Education Director: Jeanne Gainsburg Database: Kat Wiggall Youth Intern: Dawn Balsis Bookkeeper: Christopher Hennelly The Empty Closet: Editor: Susan Jordan Graphic Designer: Jim Anderson E-mail: susanj@gayalliance.org Phone: (585) 244-9030 Fax: (585) 244-8246 Advertising: (585) 244-9030

april 2014 • number 477 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

Gay alliance news for april 2014

Meet Our Office Volunteers By Jeanne Gainsburg April is Volunteer Appreciation Month, and this year we are paying a special tribute to the wonderful volunteers who dedicate three hours every week to helping us out in the office. Without these amazing people our lives would be extremely stressful. I asked each of them to share a few sentences about themselves and, in honor of their work on the Gay Alliance phones, answer a completely random question.

I’m Kerry Hanratty. I love my family. I spend a fair amount of time researching our genealogy. I enjoy volunteering because it allows me to give back to the community and provides an opportunity to learn from the experience. Kerry, what is your favorite movie quote? “I’ll have what she’s having” – When Harry Met Sally.

I’m Dee Nepomuceno, a Filipino trans*woman who likes the colors purple and light green, adores cats, has a penchant for cooking and loves to smile a lot. Dee, if you had a warning label, what would yours say? “I’m trans*! Deal with it!”

I’m Marilyn Traver, a 45-year-old transgendered lesbian. I’m widowed. I used to be a chef but I’m looking to change careers. I’m an amateur photog-

rapher and I prefer film over digital. Marilyn, what do you wish would come back in fashion? “Big hair from the ‘80s.”

I’m Jenna Vanas and I struggled for my years with my sexually, mostly because it was not viewed even in my generation as acceptable and I always dreamt of a wedding. I have a background in hotels, which consists of 18 years in the industry and I am very proud of myself for staying in such a career path for that long. Jenna, what is your favorite movie quote? “You make me wanna be a better man.” - As Good As It Gets

I am Bill DeStevens. I was born and raised in Oswego. I was very fortunate to have gay role models and an accepting family from a very early age. I now have a gay nephew, a transitioning nephew and a lesbian niece, all of whom are loved and fully accepted as they are. Bill, if you had a warning label, what would yours say? “Warning: Interactions might lead to bouts of joy and laughter!”

KT Schwartz lives with his partner, Caitlin and pet rabbit, Bunny. He is genderqueer and a janitor; he writes regularly at janitorqueer.com. KT, what do you wish would come back in fashion? “The hanky code.”

I am Laura Buttiglieri. I live in Farmington with my family, girlfriend and stepson. I love

arts and crafts and never run out of projects. I want to go back to school in September for social services. Laura, what is your favorite movie quote? “You know it was interesting to me that a ride could make me feel so frightened... so excited all together! Some didn’t like it; they went on the merry-go-round. But that just went around... I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.” – Parenthood (the grandmother’s musings on life)

Cristin Monahan is a Long Island transplant who fell in love with Rochester for its relaxed atmosphere, vibrant LGBT community, and non-existent traffic. After graduating from UR, where she majored in History with a focus in gender and sexuality in Bolshevik Russia, she moved to the South Wedge with some college friends, and has been here ever since. Cristin, if you had a warning label, what would yours say? “Attention baristas: high octane fuel only.”

SAGE calendar april 2014 April 1 ��10:30am Yoga; 11:30 Lunch, Bring brown bag and beverage; 12:30 Game Day. April 3 ��10:30 Yoga; 11:30 Lunch, Bring Brown bag and beverage; 12:30 Euchre or games. April 6 ��3 pm No Euchre. Euchre canceled till further notice. April 8 ��10:30 Yoga, 11:30 Lunch, Bring brown bag and beverage; 12:30 Favorite Meals presented by Reba, Game Day. April 10 ��10:30 Yoga, 11:30 Lunch, Bring brown bag and beverage. 12:30 Cards. April 15 ��10:30 Yoga, 11:30 Lunch. Bring brown bag and beverage, 12:30 Game Day. April 17 ��No Yoga -- meet at Friendly’s, 2425 West Henrietta Road. Please RSVP by April 15 at center or 585-857-9428. Movie afterwards at Movies 10. April 22 �10:30 Yoga, 11:30 Lunch, Potluck. Bring a dish to pass. Craft making cards with Reba. April 24 �10:30 Yoga, 11:30 Lunch, Bring brown bag and beverage. 12:30 Game Day. April 29 �10:30 Yoga, 11:30 Lunch: Leave center for Polska Chata European Delicatessen. SAGE = Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders. Center: Open Arms MCC, 707 E. Main St.

The Gay Alliance Speaking Engagements, March 2014

My name is JoAnne Metzler and I’m a trans woman. I’m also the current Coordinator for the Steering Group of T*AGR (Trans* Alliance of Greater Rochester). This is the local trans* education/support group that has been in existence almost continuously since 1997. JoAnne, what do you wish would come back in fashion? “Common courtesy in life and in the written word.” Now that you know who is at the other end of the phone, the next time you call in to the Gay Alliance say “hi” to our super office volunteers! From the Gay Alliance staff and board we would like to thank all of our amazing volunteers for all of your hard work and dedication to our agency! You rock!

• Two sessions of Trans* Basics at Leadership Genesee • SafeZone Train-the-Trainer Certification Program at Niagara County Community College • LGBTQ 101 at the MCC Upward Bound Program • Telling Our Stories to Make a Difference at the Gay Alliance • Rush-Henrietta Family Health and Wellness Fair at Roth Middle School • SafeZone Train-the-Trainer Certification Program at the Gay Alliance • LGBT 101 at RCSD Project Search • LGBTQ Youth in Our Schools at George Mather Forbes School #4 • Telling Our Stories to Make a Difference at the Gay Alliance • Transgender Issues at the University of Rochester • Health and Wellness Fair at Nazareth College • LGBTQ Youth in our Schools for the School Social Workers at the Rochester City School District • Who’s Who Panel at the Rochester Erotic Arts Festival • Transgender Panel at the Rochester Erotic Arts Festival • Transgender Issues in Healthcare at the Syracuse VA Medical Center Quotes from Evaluations:

“This was by far the most engaging, informative training I have ever had. I loved it and want more like this. Thank you!” “I learned that you can be whoever you want to be. Never let anyone stop you from doing anything or being anything. I love you guys!” “Unlike any conference I’ve been to! I can’t wait to share my knowledge. Don’t change a thing! THANK YOU!” “This was a great workshop! The focus, content and activities were among the best I’ve ever seen.” “The quality of the presenters was outstanding. I am so thankful for this training. It will make a difference in the lives of people, especially GLBTQ youth.”

Resources Check our monthly and ongoing calendar as well as the community section for more groups and events. For further information, call the Gay Alliance at 244-8640 or visit: www.gayalliance.org. Gay Alliance Youth Group info: pages 30-31.

BISEXUALITY resources

AMBI Los Angeles; American Institute of Bisexuality (Journal of Bisexuality); Bay Area Bisexual Network; Bi Café; Bi Definition: Milwaukee; BiNet USA; Bisexual Organizing Project (BOP); Biversity Boston; Boston Bisexual Women’s Network; ComBIne - Columbus, Ohio; Dallas/ Fort Worth Bi Net; Fenway Health’s Bi Health Program; Los Angeles Bi Task Force; New York Area Bisexual Network; Robyn Ochs’s site; Seattle Bisexual Women’s Network; The Bi Writers Association; The Bisexual Resource Center (email brc@biresource.net)

CULTURAL

Rochester Women’s Community Chorus 234-4441. (See Ongoing calendar). Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus www.thergmc.org

deaf services

Advocacy for Abused Deaf Victims Mailing address: c/o ASADV, P.O. Box 20023, Rochester, NY 14602. 24-Hour Hotline: ASADVhope@gmail.com; VP: 866-936-8976; TTY/ FAX : 585-232-2854. Lilac Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf (LRAD) Meets second Saturdays, 6-9pm. For location, information: rcoaster@rochester.rr.com Spectrum LGBTIQ & Straight Alliance RIT/NTID student group. <SpectrumComment@groups.facebook.com

Elders

Gay Alliance Rainbow Sage Many monthly get togethers, some at Open Arms MCC 707 E. Main St. 875-9428; SAGE@gayalliance.org

family

CNY Fertility Center Integrative Fertility Care. Support meetings, webinars, workshops. Information: cbriel@cnyfertility.com; www.cnyhealingarts.com Rochester Gay Moms’ Group Support group for lesbian mommies and wannabe mommies in Rochester and surrounding areas. Subscribe: RochesterGayMoms-subscribe@yahoogroups.com. Lesbian & Gay Family Building Project Headquartered in Binghamton and with a presence throughout Upstate NY, the Project is dedicated to helping LGBTQ people achieve their goals of building and sustaining healthy families. Claudia Stallman, Project Director, 124 Front St., Binghamton, NY 13905; 607-7244308; e-mail: LesGayFamBldg@aol.com. Web: www.PrideAndJoyFamilies.org. Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) PFLAG’s threefold mission: supporting parents and family members in coming out process; educating the community; advocating on behalf of LGBT family members. PFLAG@gagv.us; 585-244-8640 x27. Adoptive Parent Support Group Monthly potluck lunches. For information, location, call Shari, 350-2529. Angel Food Ministry Box of fresh/frozen food for $30 in advance. Menu changes monthly. For information and distribution sites, call 585 861-4815.

HIV/AIDS Free testing for HIV exposure is available from New York State Department of Health: call Rochester Area Regional Hotline at (585) 423-8081, or 1 800 962-5063 for pay phones or calls outside Rochester. Deaf or hearing impaired people should call (585) 4238120 (TDD.) New Rapid HIV Testing now available in 30-40 minutes! Statewide information can be obtained by calling 1 800 541-AIDS. Other organizations which provide AIDS-related services are as follows:

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 477 • april 2014 Volunteer Legal Services Project (585) 232-3051; www.vlsprochester.org. 1 West Main St., Suite 500 Rochester, NY 14614. Free legal services for low-income HIV positive clients. No criminal cases. Appointments are scheduled at area medical provider locations or by calling 295-5708. Trillium Health Trillium Health is the leading provider of HIV/ AIDS services in Rochester and the Finger Lakes. On-site services include HIV testing and limited STD screenings, Primary and HIV Specialty Medical Care, Pharmacy, and many more. Satellite offices in Geneva and Bath. Trillium Health is also a leader in providing services and education to members of the LGBT community. Contact Information: Website: www.trilliumhealthny.org. Main Office: 259 Monroe Ave., Rochester, NY 14607; Main Phone: 585-5457200, Health Services After Hours: 585-2583363; Case Management After Hours (Lifeline): 585-275-5151; Fax: 585-244-6456. Finger Lakes Office: 605 W. Washington St., Geneva, NY 14456, 315-781-6303. Southern Tier Office: 122 Liberty St. Box 624, Bath, NY 14810 607-776-9166. The Health Outreach Project: 416 Central Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; 585-454-5556. Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley Referrals to physicians and service agencies. (585) 244-8640; www.gayalliance.org. Victory Alliance University of Rochester Medical Center. One of several research sites worldwide that comprise the HIV Vaccine Trials Network. Rochester site conducts research vaccine studies sponsored by National Institutes of Health (NIH). 585-7562329; www.vaccineunit.org. Threshold At The Community Place, 145 Parsells Ave., third floor, 585-454-7530. Provides confidential HIV, STD testing and General Health Care, ages 12-25. Sliding fee scale, no one denied, most insurances accepted. Mon., Wed., Fri. 9am-5pm; Tues., Thurs., 9am-7pm; Sat. 10am-2pm. www.ThresholdCenter.org Center for Health and Behavioral Training of Monroe County 853 Main St., Rochester 14611. Collaboration of Monroe County Health Department and U.R. Provides year-round training in prevention and management of STDs, HIV, TB and related issues, such as domestic violence and case management. (585)753-5382 v/tty. Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/ Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Tollfree Helpline: 1 866 600-6886. Offers confidential HIV testing and information. When you make your appointment, be sure to ask about our sliding scale fees. No one is turned away for lack of ability to pay. Rochester Area Task Force on AIDS A collection of agencies providing a multiplicity of resources and services to the upstate New York community. Their offices are located through the Finger Lakes Health Systems Agency, which also provides medical literature and newspaper clippings, as well as demographic and statistical data for use in developing health care services. (585) 461-3520. The MOCHA Center of Rochester Our mission is to improve health and wellness in communities of color. Youth drop-in center, HIV testing, peer education, support groups, computer lab, referral services and more. 107 Liberty Pole Way (corner of Pleasant). (585) 420-1400. Monroe County Health Department at 855 W. Main St., offers testing and counseling for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. (585) 753-5481. Strong Memorial Hospital provides a complete range of HIV medical care, including access to experimental treatment protocols, and HIV testing. Also provides individual and group psychotherapy. Training of health care professionals also available. Infectious Disease Clinic, (585) 275-0526. Department of Psychiatry, (585) 275-3379. AIDS Training Project, (585) 275-5693. Planned Parenthood of Rochester and Genesee Valley Offers testing and information (585) 546 2595. Rural HIV testing Anonymous and confidential, in Allegany, Livingston, Ontario, Schuyler, Seneca, Steuben, Wayne or Yates Counties, call 1 800 962-5063. Action Front Center (Action for a Better Community.) Provides HIV prevention education and case management services. Training and technical assistance to service providers. Resource library open to public. All services free and confidential. Multi-

cultural and bilingual staff. 33 Chestnut St., second floor. Hours 8:30-5pm, Monday-Friday. 262-4330; fax 262-4572. Free anonymous HIV testing on walk-in basis, Tuesdays, Wednesdays 1-4pm, provided through NYSDOH. Thursdays 1-4pm at Aenon Baptist Church, 175 Genesee St. Anthony L. Jordan Health Center, Prevention and Primary Care. Provides Medical Case Management, Mental Health, Primary Care, HIV Counseling and Testing (using rapid testing) Hepatitis C rapid testing and services, Educational Presentations, and access to other Jordan Services. Prevention and Primary Care is a walk-in program; no appointment necessary. Office Hours are Monday thru Friday 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. For more information call (585) 423-2872; fax (585) 423-2876. Website www.jordanhealth.org. For more information, call the Program Manager Charlie Lytle,(585) 423-2872. CDC National STD and AIDS Hotline 1-800-CDC-INFO (800-232-4636) 24 hours a day. TTY service: 1-888-232-6348. E-mail address: cdcinfo@cdc.gov. Fair Housing Enforcement Project of Monroe County 585-325-2500; 1-800-669-9777. Deals with housing discrimination on basis of race, orientation, HIV status, etc. Public Interest Law Office of Rochester 80 St. Paul St., Suite 701. Free legal services to HIV positive persons, families. Spanish bilingual advocates available. All civil cases except divorce; no criminal cases. Ask to speak to someone in PILOR. 454-4060. Evergreen Health Services, Buffalo Primary care, HIV and family care, HIV testing and counseling. (716) 847-0328 Westside Health Services Brown Square Health Center, 175 Lyell Ave. (254-6480); Woodward health Center, 480 Genesee St. (436-3040). HIV/AIDS services, support, more. McCree McCuller Wellness Center at Unity Health’s Connection Clinic (585) 368-3200, 89 Genesee St., Bishop Kearney Bldg., 3rd floor. Full range of services, regardless of ability to pay. Caring, confidential and convenient. Catholic Charities AIDS Services A multicultural and bi-lingual staff providing services to a diversity of people infected and affected with HIV. Coordinates HOPWA (Housing Opportunities for People with AIDS) short term emergency assistance with rent/mortgage/utility payments and limited subsidized housing. 1945 E. Ridge Rd., Suite 24, Rochester NY 14622. (585) 339-9800. Huther Doyle 360 East Ave., Rochester 14604. Offers drug, alcohol prevention, education, treatment. Risk Reduction Plus Team offers services to HIV positive and those at risk through substance use. Programs include outreach, transitional case management, free cconfidential testing (OraQuick Rapid Testing). NYS Dep’t. of Health offers free on-site confidential and anonymous testing. (585)325-5100, M-F 8am-9pm, www. hutherdoyle.com. Geneva Community Health 601 W. Washington St., Geneva. Provides HIV testing, HIV specialty and primary care for residents of Ontario and surrounding counties. Mon.-Thurs. 9am-5pm; Fridays 9am-noon. 315-781-8448.

lgbt health

For a list of LGBT-friendly and competent health and human service providers in the Rochester and Finger Lakes area, visit the resource directory page(s) at www.everybodysgood.com. Trillium Health See www.trilliumhealthny.org

HCR Home Care

We provide a full multidisciplinary team consisting of nursing, social work, physical, occupational, and speech therapies as well as home health aides who have completed the eight-hour cultural competency program provided by the Gay Alliance. For more information, contact us at 585-272-1930 or visit us online at HCRhealth.com. Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley See www.gayalliance.org Resource Directory under “Health” for Gay Alliance referrals to physicians and service agencies. CNY Depression Bi-Polar Support The Depression Bi-Polar Support Alliance of Central New York Support Group Adult Group meets the third Thursday of every month from 6 p.m.-7:30 p.m. at SAGE Upstate, 431 E. Fayette St, Syracuse, NY 13202. The Youth Group

meets the second Monday of every month from 5 p.m.-6:30 p.m. at Transitions Living Services, 420 E. Genesee St., Syracuse, NY 13202.

TRANSGENDER

Trans*Alliance of Greater Rochester Social/educational group for gender variant people and friends. Last Saturday, 3-5pm, GAGV 5th floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640. www.rnytg.org

Empire Justice Center Julia A. Sáenz, Esq. Hanna S. Cohn Equal Justice Fellow, Empire Justice Center, LGBT Rights Project, Telesca Center for Justice, 1 West Main Street, Suite 200, Rochester, NY 14614. (585) 295-5721 Fax (585) 454-2518, jsaenz@empirejustice.org, www.empirejustice.org. Volunteer Legal Services Project (585) 232-3051; www.vlsprochester.org.1 West Main St. Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14614. Free legal services for low-income clients seeking a name change. Other legal services for low-income clients include family law issues, bankruptcy, unemployment insurance hearings, wills and advance directive documents for clients with serious illnesses. Gay Alliance Youth Gender Identity Support Group Thursdays 5:30-6:30 GAGV Library, 1st floor, off Prince St. lobby 875 E. Main St., Ages 13-18. 244-8640 Genesee Valley Gender Variants Thurs. 7-9pm, Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. GVGenderVariants@yahoogroups.com Guys Night Out Social group for transmen. Third Saturdays, 1pm, Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. tguysnightout@gmail.com

Women

lesbians of color www.oursistacircle.com. The first social networking site for lesbians of Black, Asian, African American, Latina, Native American, Pacific Islander, Chicano, Biracial & other lesbians of color, launched 2009. OurSistaCircle the first free social networking site to offer Skype mental health counseling. No nudity policy on member profiles. Currently 10,800 active members. Highland Hospital Breast Imaging Center 500 Red Creek Drive, Rochester 14623; 585487-3300. Specializing in breast health, diagnostic breast imaging and treatment and mammography outreach and education. Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester 840 University Ave.; 585-473-8177; www. bccr.org; email: info@bccr.org. Breast Cancer Coalition provides support services that include programs designed to help those coping with a recent breast cancer diagnosis and those coping with an advanced breast cancer diagnosis, such as the Advanced Breast Cancer Support Group to support women living with metastatic breast cancer. Information about breast cancer, lending library, a monthly educational program. All BCCR programs, support services free. Monroe County Women’s Health Partnership 111 Westfall Rd., Rochester NY 14692; (585) 274-6978. Comprehensive breast cancer screening services for uninsured and underinsured women. Elizabeth Wende Breast Clinic 170 Sawgrass Drive. 442-8432. Dr. Wende Logan-Young and an all-woman staff provide mammograms. Self Help for Women with Breast or Ovarian Cancer (SHARE) 1-866-53SHARE or 1-866-537-4273. Alternatives for Battered Women 232-7353; TTY 232-1741. Shelter (women only), counseling. Lesbians, gay men welcome. Victim Resource Center of Wayne County Newark N.Y. Hotline 800-456-1172; office (315)331-1171; fax (315)331-1189. Mary Magdalene House Women’s outreach center for HIV positive women and women at risk. 291 Lyell Ave. Open Mon-Fri. 6:30-9:30pm 458-5728. Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/ Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Tollfree Helpline: 1-866-600-6886. Planned Parenthood has led the way in providing high quality, affordable reproductive health care since 1916. All services are confidential. Accept most insurances; including Medicaid. You may qualify for low- to no-cost family planning services. When you make your appointment, ask about our sliding scale fees. No one turned away for lack of ability to pay. Women’s Resource Center YWCA, 175 N. Clinton Ave. 546-7740.

april 2014 • number 477 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

Ongoing Calendar Mondays

L.O.R.A. Coffee Social Weekly on Monday Nights, 7 pm. Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. Rochester. Family, Friends & Allies Welcome! Contact Person: Cathie Timian. More info: www.loragroup.org. Events: https:// www.facebook.com/groups/L.O.R.A.14464/. Email: info@loragroup.org LORA Late Bloomers Coming Out Group for Women 2nd & 4th Mondays of the Month. 7 pm, Private Location. Call for info! Contact Person: Wanda Martinez. Email: sanlorenzena@yahoo. com. Phone: 585.414.9164. More info: www. loragroup.org. Events: https://www.facebook. com/groups/L.O.R.A.14464/

Gay Alliance Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center. Every Mon./Wed. 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640

Born That Way Formerly 3rd Presbyterian LGBT Support Group. First, 3rd Mondays, 7:30-9:30pm, 34 Meigs St. Carol, 482-3832 or Kaara, 654-7516. Free syphilis testing Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave., 5-8pm. 4422220. Rochester Historical Bowling Society 7:15pm, Mondays. Clover Lanes, 2750 Monroe Ave. (Group is full.) HIV Positive Men’s Support group Every Monday, 5pm, Trillium Health Center for Positive Living, 259 Monroe Ave. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers Mondays, 6pm, George Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org. Steps Beyond Stems Crack Support Group, Mondays, 7-8pm, 289 Monroe Ave.

Tuesdays

Charlie’s Group 2nd Tuesdays. Monthly peer-facilitated support group for married men who have sex with men. Confidential, free. For time, place: email: charlie@gayalliance.org. The Social Grind 10am-12noon and again 7:30-9pm at Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. Email: DHutch457@ aol.com for information Women’s Community Chorus Rehearsals each Tuesday, 6:30-9pm, Downtown United Pres. Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh Street. 234-4441, www.therwcc.org Free HIV Testing 9am-7pm. Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave. LORA Knitters Group 1st & 3rd Tuesdays of the Month. 7pm-9:30pm, Crossroads Coffee House, 752 S. Goodman St. Rochester. Contact Person: Kerry Cater Email: dressyfemme@aol.com. More Info: www.loragroup.org Events: https://www.facebook.com/ groups/L.O.R.A.14464/

Wednesdays Identity Group The Identity Group is for LGBT identified individuals who have a developmental disability diagnosis. The group meets Wednesdays 3-4 pm at ARC Health Services (2060 BrightonHenrietta Townline Rd. 14623). The goal of the group is to provide a safe space to discuss identity issues, share personal experiences and increase self-esteem. The group is facilitated by Delaina Fico. LMSW. For more information, please contact Delaina Fico at dfico@arcmonroe.org or 585-271-0661 ext. 1552.

Gay Alliance Board of Directors Meets Third Wednesdays, 6pm, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640 New Freedom New Happiness AA Gay meeting, 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd. Men and women. Open. Support Group for Parents who have lost Children First, 3rd Wednesdays, 11am-12:30pm, Third Presbyterian Church, 4 Meigs St. Genesee Region Home Care. Free. 325-1880 COAP Come Out and Play. Wednesday game nights. 8-11 pm. Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. 7pm, woody14619@yahoo.com.

Rochester Rams General Meeting 2nd Wednesdays, 7:30pm, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. www.rochesterrams.com Brothers Keeper Support group for men over 30. Third Wednesdays, 5:30-7:30pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way. 420-1400 HIV+ Mixed Men’s Group Wednesdays, 11:30 am-12:30 pm. Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 6pm, Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org. Gay Alliance Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center. Every Mon./Wed. 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640 Empire Bears Every Wednesday. 6pm dinner at The Wintonaire. www.empirebears.com

Thursdays

Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns 6:30pm, first Thursday. Ralph, 271-7649 Gay Alliance Youth Gender Identity Support Group Thursdays, 5:30-6:30, GAGV Library, 1st floor, off Prince St. lobby. 875 E. Main St. Ages 13-18. 244-8640. Pride at Work First Thursdays, 5:30pm. 1354 Buffalo Road, Rochester 14624, 426-0862. GLOB&L (Gays & Lesbians of Bausch & Lomb). Meets every third Thursday in Area 67 conference room at the Optic Center. Voice mail: 338-8977 Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus Downtown United Presbyterian Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh St. 6:30-9pm, 423-0650 Free confidential walk-in HIV testing Every Thursday night, 5-8pm, Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave. 442-2220 Out & Equal Second Thursdays Social/business networking, 5:30-7:30pm. Changing venues. E-mail: fingerlakes@outandequal.org Genesee Valley Gender Variants 7-9pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. GV GenderVariants@yahoogroups.com LORA - Buffalo Women’s Coffee Social Weekly on Thursday Nights, 6pm. Spot Coffee, 765 Elmwood, Buffalo. Contact Person: Barb Henderson Email: Morningstar5588@yahoo. com More Info: www.loragroup.org. Events: https://www.facebook.com/groups/buffaloles/

FRIDAYs

Gay Men's AA meeting Fridays, 7:30-8:30pm, Closed meeting. Emmanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. Gay Alliance Youth Fridays, 7-9pm, Open Arms MCC, 707 E. Main St., 244-8640 GLBTQI Motorcycle Group Second Fridays, 5:30pm, Various locations. RochesterGLBTIQbikers@yahoo.com; 4676456; bmdaniels@frontiernet.net. LORA GaYmes Night Meets 4th Friday of the Month, 7-10pm, Equal Grounds Coffee House, 750 South Ave. Rochester. Contact Person: Christine O’Reilly. Email: irishfemmerochester@yahoo.com. Phone: 585.943.1320. More Info: www.loragroup.org. Events: https://www.facebook.com/groups/ L.O.R.A.14464/ Crystal Meth Anonymous Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. at Brunswick. Meeting every Friday 4 pm in the basement.

SATURDAYs

Rochester Rams Bar Night Third Saturdays, 8pm-2am, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. 271-6930 LGBT Family Pride Rochester Meets 2nd Saturday of the Month. 1-3 pm. Crossroads Coffee House, 752 S. Goodman St. Rochester. Contact Person: Christine O’Reilly. Email: irishfemmerochester@yahoo.com. Phone: 585.943.1320. More info: www.loragroup.org. Events: https://www.facebook. com/groups/L.O.R.A.14464/

Trans*Alliance of Greater Rochester Social/educational group for gender-variant people, friends. Last Saturdays, 3-5:30pm, GAGV fifth floor, 875 E. Main St. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 9am, George Eastman House parking lot.www. rochesterfrontrunners.org. Empire Bears Potluck 2nd Saturdays, GAGV, 875 E. Main, 5th floor, 6:30pm greet; 7pm dinner. Bring dish to pass. www.empirebears.org. Cross Dresser Support Group First Saturdays, 6-9pm, call for location: 251-2132; RCDNET@hotmail.com Guys Night Out GNO, social group for transmen, now meets on the second Saturday of the month, @ 1pm @ Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. Saturday Night Special Gay AA 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd., S. Men and women. Open meeting. Lilac Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf (LRAD) 2nd Saturdays, 6-9pm. rcoaster@rochester.rr.com Sophia’s Supper Club First and third Saturdays. http://www.inspiritual.biz/online-spiritual-evolution-gro/

Sundays

Parents Families & Friends of Lesbians And Gays (PFLAG) For location: 244-8460; pflag@gayalliance.org.

Rochester General Assembly Sundays, Flying Squirrel Community Center, 285 Clarissa St. Crystal Meth Anonymous Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. at Brunswick. Meeting Sundays in the basement. Unity Fellowship Church Sundays, 1:30 pm, Lutheran Church of Peace, 125 Caroline St., 14620. 520-6188. Dignity-Integrity 1st Sunday: 5pm Episcopal Eucharist with music; 2nd Sunday: 5pm Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word with music; 3rd Sunday: 5pm Episcopal Eucharist (quiet); 4th Sunday: 5pm Prayers to start the week, followed by potluck supper. Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church 707 E. Main St. Rochester, 10:30am, 271-8478

Gay Men’s Alcoholics Anonymous St. Luke’s/St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. 8pm, 232-6720, Weekly. Closed meeting Men’s Cooking Group Third or fourth Sundays, 355-7664. LORA Sunday Brunch 1st & 3rd Sunday of the Month, 11:30am 1:30pm. Jays Diner, 2612 W. Henrietta Rd., Rochester. Contact Person: Cathie Timian. More info: www.loragroup.org. Events: https:// www.facebook.com/groups/L.O.R.A.14464/. Email: info@loragroup.org Gutter Gals - Bowling 2nd & 4th Sundays, 6:30pm - 9:30pm. Bowl A Roll, 1560 Jefferson Rd. $5.70 for 2 games & $2.50 for shoes. For more info: http://www. facebook.com/groups/guttergals/Contact Person: Cathie: Email: ctimian@l-o-r-a.com; Phone: 585.313.3037

Rochester AA/NA Meetings

Every week there are four regularly scheduled GLBTI AA and two inclusive NA meetings in Rochester.

Tuesdays

Narcotics Anonymous 6-7:30pm. AIDS and Recovery 1124 Culver Road (Covenant United Methodist Church) This is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who have a desire to stop using. Although it is not specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities, as well as to anyone who is affected by HIV and AIDS.

Wednesdays

New Freedom/New Happiness Group 7pm. First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: Take the last #18 University bus to 12 Corners. Use the stop just past the top of the hill at Hillside Ave. and before Highland Ave. Or take the #1 Park Ave. to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton. This is an open discussion meeting. All issues – as they relate to our alcoholism/addiction and recovery – are fair game.

Fridays Gay Men’s 7:30pm. Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. • Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • Handicapped accessible This is a round-robin discussion meeting. If you are shy about meeting people or speaking up in a group, you will find this meeting particularly warm and inviting because everyone gets their turn to speak (or pass). As a result, this meeting often runs long, so plan on more than the usual hour.

Saturdays Saturday Night Special 7pm. First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: The #18 University Ave. bus does not go by the church on weekend evenings. Take the #1 Park Ave. bus to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton. • Open meeting, all are welcome, “straight friendly” • Mixed men and women • Handicapped accessible, take elevator to basement Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

Sundays Step in the Right Direction 7:30-9pm. 1275 Spencerport Road (Trinity Alliance Church) This is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who have a desire to stop using. Although it is not specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities. Each week features a reading from NA literature, followed by discussion. Rochester Gay Men 8pm. St. Luke/St. Simon’s Episcopal Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh Street. Bus riders use the Fitzhugh Street stop on Main Street at the County Office Building and walk south one block. • Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • NOT handicapped accessible Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

GAY OR BISEXUAL MEN WANTED

Over 18? SUNY-Brockport and Trillium Health are conducting a study on attitudes, beliefs, values, and norms toward various health risks among gay and bisexual men in the Rochester area, $10 gift card for the interview; conducted in downtown Rochester. Call Sally at 585857-4145, or Vanessa at 585-732-7413, or Daniella at 585-797-8074.

April TUESDAY 1

LGBT Human-Owner Support Group. Is your queer human pet responsive enough to your needs? Get better access to hamburger, tuna fish and more! Learn how to motivate your human to let you sleep on the furniture. Meets Tuesdays. Email us at meowgrrrr@looflirpa. org.

THURSDAY 3

“Equal Pay: We’ve Waited Long Enough.” Talk by Martha Burk, 7 pm, at AAUW Perkins Mansion, 494 East Ave. Sponsored by Rochester Chapter of National Organization for Women (NOW) and Greater Rochester Area Branch of the American Association of University Women (AAUW).

SUNDAY 6

Dignity Integrity. Episcopal Mass/ Healing Service, with music. 5 pm at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

MONDAY 7

Your Queer Career with Riley Folds. 6 to 7 pm, Nazareth College. Folds will discuss topics from his book “Your Queer Career: The Ultimate Guide for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Job Seekers”. Free and open to the public. Sponsored by Nazareth’s Career Services Department. Intersectionality Between Race and LGBTQ Identities Panel, presented by Gay Alliance, 7-8:30 pm, Open Arms MCC, 707 E. Main St. Free. Part of month-long “Stand Against Racism” initiative spearheaded by YWCA. Gay Alliance partnering with National Coalition Building Institute, MOCHA Center, Open Arms MCC, Young Audiences of Rochester and Center For Youth.

WEDNESDAY 9

Forum on Gender Expression NonDiscrimination Act (GENDA), hosted by Empire State Pride Agenda. 6 pm at Downtown Presbyterian Church, 121 North Fitzhugh St. Sheilah Sable at ssable@prideagenda.org or (518) 6498135.

THURSDAY 10

Empire Bears at Drenched Fur, Erie, Pa. through April 13. Out & Equal Second Thursdays Networking. 5:30-7:30 pm. Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave.

FRIDAY 11

Geva presents Essie Calhoun Award for Diversity in the Arts to Thomas Warfield. 7 pm at Geva Theatre, with performance of “I and You”. RSVP by April 7 to Mary Ragus, 420-2049 or mragus@gevatheatre.org.

SATURDAY 12

Trans* Alliance of Greater Rochester. Monthly planning meeting. 3-5 pm, Gay Alliance, fifth floor, 875 E. Main St. http://rnytg.org/

SUNDAY 13

Dignity Integrity. Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, with music, Blessing of the Palms. 5 pm at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

Library & Archives Hours: Every Monday & Wednesday: 6-8pm 875 E. Main Street, (off Prince St. lobby) 1st Floor, 585.244.8640

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 477 • april 2014 Bill Evans Dance 40th Anniversary Celebration Concerts, Hochstein Performance Hall, 50 Plymouth Ave. N, 4 and 7 pm. Tickets: Patrons (reserved seats, center section), $40 online or at door. General Admission, $15 online, $20 at the door; Students, $10 at door and online. College at Brockport Students, $5 at door. Online purchases: bedco2014.brownpapertickets. com

TUESDAY 15

Empty Closet deadline for May issue. susanj@gayalliance.org; 244-9030.

FRIDAY 18

RIT Colorfest. Weekend conference for LGBTQ Deaf, hard of hearing students. www.rit.edu/studentaffairs/spectrum; Facebook #Colorfest2014. Gay Alliance Youth Fabulous Fridays Lock-In. 7 pm- 7 am, Open Arms MCC, 707 E. Main St. Check Twitter @ GAGVYouth.

SATURDAY 19

Rochesternygrrlz. Social gathering for Crossdressers and Allies, 4-6 pm in safe and welcoming environment at Gay Alliance, 875 E. Main St., fifth floor. Girls’ Night Out follows, 6 pm until? Changing space available. More information: https://groups.yahoo.com/group/ rochesternygrrlz/ Rochester Rams “Stuff Yer Basket” bar night. 9 pm-2 am. Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave.

SUNDAY 20

Easter Dignity Integrity. Episcopal Mass to celebrate Easter Sunday. 5 pm at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

TUESDAY 22

Earth Day LGBT and Christian Faith lecture at Rochester Colgate Crozer Divinity School. 7 pm. The Rev. Dr. Barbara K. Lundblad, Professor of Preaching at Union Theological Seminary in NYC, speaks on “Words Made Flesh: LGBT Experience and Preaching.”

FRIDAY 25

Stand Against Racism Day

Classifieds

Classified ads are $5 for the first 30 words; each additional 10 words is another $1. We do not bill for classifieds, so please send or bring ad and payment to: The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, New York 14605. Paying by check: checks must be made out to Gay Alliance. The deadline is the 15th of the month, for the following month’s issue. We cannot accept ads over the phone. Pay when you place your ad. We will accept only ads accompanied by name and phone number. Neither will be published, but we must be able to confirm placement. The Empty Closet is not responsible for financial loss or physical injury that may result from any contact with an advertiser. Advertisers must use their own box number, voice mail, e-mail or personal address/phone number.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Kidney donor wanted. I am looking for a kidney donor for my brother Rick. He lost both of his kidneys to polycystic kidney disease. He has been on dialysis for five years and is in desperate need of a kidney. Most of us have two kidneys and can function at 100% with one. The donor must be 60 or younger, normal blood pressure, no diabetes, no skin cancer and no kidney stones. My son’s partner donated a kidney to a stranger and I am hoping that there is another generous person out there in the LGBTQ community who is willing to be tested to see if they are a match. Contact joyceh317@gmail.com for more details. Children’s Ministry thriving at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church for toddlers to ‘tweens. Join us for vibrant, inclusive, progressive worship on Sundays at 10:30am. 740 Marshall Road off Chili Avenue. info@openarmsmcc.org (585) 271-8478

SERVICES

Rochester’s Best Man to Man Rubdown. Unwind with this degreed, employed, fit, friendly, healthy, Italian GWM. Middle aged, 5’8”, 165 lbs., 32” waist, nonsmoker, d & d free, HIV negative. My 10-plus years experience guarantees your relaxation and satisfaction.

Hotel visit, in call in my home or out call in your residence. Reasonable rates. Discretion appreciated and practiced. Don’t delay, call me today at 585-773-2410 (cell) or 585-235-6688 (home) or e-mail me at: magichands@rochester.rr.com. Wedding Space and clergy services available. Celebrate your special day at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church 740 Marshall Rd. off Chili Ave. info@openarmsmcc.org (585) 271-8478 Handyman: Simple repairs or full renovations, no job is too large or small. Carpentry, Plumbing, Electrical, Interior & Exterior. 35 years experience. Call Alan & Bill 585-204-0632 or cell 304-517-6832. Martin Ippolito master electrician. Electrical work, telephone jacks, cable TV, burglar alarm systems, paddle fans. 585-266-6337. Hate to paint or clean gutters? I have tall ladders! Dale’s Pleasure Painting and Gutter Cleaning has very reasonable rates for painting year round and gutter cleaning in spring or fall. 585-576-5042. Email dale.furlong@yahoo.com.

HOUSEMATES

Seeking employed housemate to share large suburban home. Off street parking, internet, cable, telephone, furnished private bedroom. Rent includes food (you cook or I cook or together). Call 266-4582.

SATURDAY 26

Trans* Alliance of Greater Rochester. Support/education meeting, 3-5:30 pm, Gay Alliance, 875 E. Main St., fifth floor.

SUNDAY 27

Dignity Integrity. Evening Prayer, followed by potluck dinner: “Easter Eats”. 5 pm at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

MONDAY 28

Shoulders To Stand On documentary screening at MuCCC, 142 Atlantic Ave., 7:30 pm. Pay What You Wish benefit for Gay Alliance and MuCCC.

TUESDAY 29

Equality & Justice Day, Albany. New York LGBTQ Lobby Day. Kye Allums, first transgender NCAA Division 1 college athlete, will be onstage for rally at Capitol. Sheilah Sable at ssable@prideagenda.org or (518) 649-8135.

WEDNESDAY 30

Beltane, Walpurgisnacht. Ancient Celtic Cross-Quarter Fire Feast of Spring. Sacred tree: willow.

ASK EM BY JUSTIN HUBBELL

april 2014 • number 477 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

Bed & Breakfast

Editor-in-Chief: Susan Jordan Staff Reporter: Ove Overmyer Graphic Design: Jim Anderson Ad Sales: Brandon Brooks (brandonb@gayalliance.org Advertising policy: The Empty Closet does not print advertisements that contain nude drawings or photographs, nor does it print advertising that states that the person pictured in the ad is for sale, or that you will “get” that particular person if you patronize the establishment advertised. Advertisements that are explicitly racist, sexist, ageist, ableist or homophobic will be refused; advertisements from organizations that are sexist, racist, ageist, ableist or anti-gay will also be refused. All political advertisements must contain information about who placed them and a method of contact. Additionally, The Empty Closet does not print negative or “attack” advertisements, whether they relate to a product or politics and no matter in whose interest the ad is being produced. A negative advertisement is defined as one that focuses upon a rival product, or in the political area, a rival election candidate or party, in order to point out supposed flaws and to persuade the public not to buy it (or vote for him or her). The Empty Closet maintains, within legal boundaries, neutrality regarding products, political candidates and parties. However, “attack” ads that fail to provide undisputable evidence that the information in the ad is true do not further in any way the objectives and policies of the Gay Alliance or The Empty Closet, including the primary tenet that The Empty Closet’s purpose is to inform the Rochester gay community and to provide an impartial forum for ideas. Submissions: For publication, submit news items, ads, photos, letters, stories, poetry, ads, photographs or art by mail or in person to The Empty Closet office by the 15th of the month. Design services for non-camera ready ads are available for a fee. 244-9030, susanj@gayalliance.org Publication Information: The Empty Closet is published 11 times a year (December and January combined) by The Empty Closet Press for the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, Inc. Approximately 5000 copies of each issue are distributed during the first week of the month, some by mail in a plain sealed envelope. The publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles is not an indication of the sexual or affectional orientation of that person or the members of that organization. For further information, please write to The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main St., Rochester NY. 14605, call (585) 244-9030 or e-mail emptycloset@gagv.us. The Empty Closet is the official publication of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, Inc., as stated in the bylaws of that organization. Its purpose is to inform the Rochester gay community about local and national gayrelated news and events; to provide a forum for ideas and creative work from the local gay community; to help promote leadership within the community, and to be a part of a national network of lesbian and gay publications that exchange ideas and seek to educate. Part of our purpose is to maintain a middle position with respect to the entire community. We must be careful to present all viewpoints in a way that takes into consideration the views of all – women, men, people of color, young and old, and those from various walks of life. The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet. The Empty Closet shall not be liable for any loss or expense that results from the publication (whether correctly or incorrectly) or omission of an ad. In the event of non-payment, your account may be assigned to a collection agency or an attorney, and will be liable for the charges paid by us to such collection agency or attorney. Letters to the editor: The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet. We will print letters at the editor’s discretion and on a space available basis. Only one letter by the same writer in a six-month period is allowed. We will not print personal attacks on individuals, nor will we be a forum for ongoing disputes between individuals. We reserve the right to edit for space and clarity. We will print anonymous letters if the name and phone number are provided to the Editor; confidentiality will be respected. Submissions are due by the 15th of the month at: The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14605; e-mail: emptycloset@gagv.us. The online edition of EC is available at www.gayalliance.org.

PFLAG meets the 3rd Sunday of each month Meetings are at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church, 707 E. Main St., Rochester, NY 14605 from 1 to 3pm. Questions? Call: 585-244-8640 and leave a message, or e-mail: pflag@gayalliance.org Join us!

(585) 880-1184

Located in Village Gate Square right next to Outlandish!

HOURS

Wednesday–Thursday 1-6pm Friday–Saturday 1-8pm Sunday 1-6pm

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 477 • april 2014