The Empty Closet number 433
Arts, Entertainment & Community
a publication of the gay alliance of the genesee valley
Tony Leuzzi
Michael Gamilla (second from right) and Rufus Wainwright (center) with friends in Berlin.
Radiant Losses: A talk with Rochester poet Tony Leuzzi
ImageOut’s Gamilla does jury duty at Berlin Film Festival
By Susan Jordan Tony Leuzzi’s new book of poems, Radiant Losses, (New Sins Press) will be published this month. Tony, a longtime Empty Closet contributor who teaches at MCC, spoke with the EC about his new work. He will read at Writers & Books on April 15 (see Calendar). Empty Closet: A lot of your poems resemble condensed short stories, or the starting point of a novel, introducing a character or a place or a situation. Do you ever write fiction or do you pre(Radiant continues page 7)
By Susan Jordan Michael Gamilla, director of programming for Image Out, Rochester’s LGBT film and video festival, spent 10 days in Berlin in February, doing “jury duty” at the Berlin International Film Festival’s gay film awards. The Berlin festival, celebrating its 60th year, is well known for its Silver and Gold Bear awards. The festival’s award for LGBT films, given for the past 24 years, is called the “Teddy Bear”. The Festival ran from Feb. 11 to Feb. 21. Michael has gone to the Berlin festival for the past six years, but this year was special because he was a judge. “It’s a very tough job because you have to watch 25 feature films, around 30 shorts and so on,” he said. “We would start at 9 a.m. and some nights would go until 1 a.m. There were eight of us on the
jury for the Teddy Awards – six Europeans, an Indian guy and me, the Asian American.” Teddies were given to best feature film (“The Kids Are All Right” by Lisa Chodolenko); best documentary (“The Wolf’s Mouth,” an Italian film) and best short film (“The Feast of Stephen” by James Frankel). Gamilla hopes especially that “The Kids Are All Right” (starring Julianne Moore, Annette Bening and Mark Rufolo) will be available for ImageOut next October. Michael said, “The Teddy is a significant award, considered the most important gay film award. Aside from the trophy, the winners get 3,000 Euros – around $4,500. The first film to win a Teddy was Pedro Almodovar’s ‘The Law of Desire’ and the first short to win was a film by Gus van Sant.” Jurors for the Teddy are selected from film festival organizers all over the world. They meet several times to discuss the (Gamilla continues page 7)
Klea Blackhurst. Photo: Susan Jordan
Klea Blackhurst channels Merman at SOTA on May 1 By Susan Jordan Ethel Merman, legendary vocalist of Golden Age Hollywood and Broadway, has been described as “brassy,” “a dramatic tenor” and “a castrati,” due to her resounding, powerhouse voice, so untypical of her era when female singers were usually demure. Klea Blackhurst, wellknown Broadway, cabaret and recording artist, will bring her Merman show, “Everything the Traffic Will Allow,” to School of the Arts on May 1. Blackhurst has often visited Rochester, because her sister, Nanette Elliott, lives here and heads Friends of SOTA, the group that raises funds for the School of the Arts, where her two daughters are students. She asked Klea to do a benefit for the school, and, for the first time, Blackhurst is working with a back-up band composed of students. Gary Crocker, drummer and (Blackhurst continues page 17)
Section B
The full cast of The Vagina Monologues after the show on March 13 at Hochstein. Photo: Kevin Fickling.
Vagina Monologues from the inside By Laura McSpadden Last Saturday was it — Rochester’s benefit performance of The Vagina Monologues. When I arrived at Hochstein for the final read-through, I felt as bittersweet as the chocolate chunks in the cookies I prepared for the reception after the show. Oh, yes, I was excited to be part of the V-Day movement and perform in front of hundreds of people. And I was proud to be part of the efforts to raise money for Rape Crisis Services and the women and girls of the Democratic Republic of the Congo. But I was also filled with sad-
ness — I had spent nearly every Saturday since November in rehearsals with the Vagina Warriors (the term used to describe the cast and crew of V-Day performances) and I knew I was going to miss them. The afternoon was filled with mic checks, costume changes, the application of stage makeup, last minute rehearsing, and a fair amount of nervousness: all that you would expect right before a big performance. What was perhaps less expected was the behind-thescenes performance that the audience didn’t get to see. While the Vagina Warriors waited backstage for their turn on the main stage, spontaneous enter(Vagina continues page 3)
APRIL 2010
Corsets on Parade benefits Pride on April 18 at Radisson mADhAuS theatrical presents the world premiere of “Corsets On Parade: an Avant-garde Fashion Burlesque,” conceived, directed and choreographed by M. Allan Davis, and featuring a Special Surprise Celebrity Guest. The fashion show, to benefit PRIDE 2010, will take place on April 18 at The Radisson Riverside in downtown Rochester. The show is “for both the man and woman in you,” organizers say. It is sponsored in part by Waterloo Outlet, Brighton Securities, Radisson Hotel, Hamilton Audio Visual and the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley. Production Stage Manager is Emily Taradash. There will be two shows and the evening will include a cash
bar, silent auction and 50-50 drawing. An audience favorite award and best in show prize will be awarded at the end of the second show. Audience members will vote for the best design, and all ticket holders get gifts at the door. General tickets are $10 and $25 advance and $15 and $30 at the door; special seating for VIP donations. The first show of Corsets on Parade starts at 3 p.m. (doors open at 2 p.m.) and the second show at 7 p.m. (doors open at 6 p.m.) The event is for those 18 and over. For more information and to buy advance tickets, check out www.gayalliance. org and www.corsetsonparade. com. ■
Art is theme for Rainbow Theatre Festival 2010
Pride is a series of real-life stories from the public on the topic of sexuality and the Rainbow Pride Flag, brought to life by Bread & Water Theatre’s company of actors. This year’s project features a selection of all new stories, including those created as part of a writing workshop hosted by Nazareth College’s GLBTIQ student organization, NazLambda, as well as a selection from acclaimed drag queen Samantha Sulay, detailing her rise to stardom from her meager beginnings to Miss Gay Rochester 2003. (Performance dates: April 9 and 10 at 8 p.m.; April 11 at 2 p.m.) Ladies and Gentlemen by Emma Donoghue was inspired by an 1895 newspaper expose of Annie Hindle – the musta(Rainbow continues page 3)
Bread & Water Theatre has announced the production schedule for Rainbow Theater Festival 2010, centered on the theme color of turquoise, which represents Art on the original Rainbow Pride Flag designed by Gilbert Baker. This year’s focus on artistic endeavors provides BWT with a unique opportunity to embrace a wide variety of stories that help spotlight the little known history of GLBTIQ artists and performers. The festival lineup includes Lambda Project: The Art of Pride, Ladies and Gentlemen, and Nijinsky’s Last Dance. Lambda Project: The Art of
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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 433 • APRIL 2010
Dining Sakura Home
By Paul Hoffman The parking lot of Sakura Home is frequently filled to overflowing with people trying to park nearby, wherever they can. This place is very popular. Sakura Home was opened in November 2008 by veteran restaurateurs Mark Teng and Peter Sun. They feature new style Japanese cuisine, with traditional sushi and sashimi as well as tempura, teriyaki and other typical dishes. “New style’” is less strictly interpreted and borrows from other cultures. Sakura Home also features Japanese hibachi, quite a different type of cooking, heavily influenced by western cuisine and born in Japan after World War II. The décor of Sakura home is attractive, with carefully selected woods, leathers, tiles and fabrics that play well together. A waterfall trickles down the glass tiles behind the bar and a koi pond with a wooden bridge greets diners as they enter the main dining room. The lavish furnishings and fixtures speak to the new style Japanese dining. I admit that we come here mainly to satisfy our craving for sushi and sashimi. The Sushi Bar is the heart and soul of a good Japanese restaurant and this one does not disappoint. The sushi, sashimi and rolls are prepared at the Sushi Bar in the main dining room by skilled chefs under head sushi chef Gary Chi. The Special for Two ($35.99) is a large platter of sushi, sashimi and various rolls, such as tuna roll and maki roll. It’s enough to satisfy two large appetites. Most items that come from the sushi bar provide a feast for the eyes before they even touch the other senses. Japanese cuisine is, after all, known for its emphasis on quality ingredients, seasonality and presentation. The prized Live Uni (Sea Urchin), Live
that includes beer or other spirits to help stimulate their appetites. Some smaller farms in Japan actually massage the Kobe cows with sake on a regular basis. Now that’s a twist on “spa cuisine”! We enjoyed the Hamachi Kama (Braised Yellowtail Cheeks) ($7.99). Fish cheeks are gaining in popularity because they are one of the sweetest and most tender parts Special for Two – Sushi, Sashimi and Rolls from Sakura of the fish. The secret Home’s Sushi Bar. is out. Other good choices for a first course are the Sunomono Scallop and Toro (Fatty Tuna Underbelly) ($5.99), which is a salad of cucumber, are market price, when available. wakame seaweed, shrimp and crab in All sushi and sashimi items are availa vinegar sauce, or the Seaweed Salad able a la carte by the piece ($1.99-2.99) or ($4.50), a delicious, crunchy and gelatiomakase (oh-mah-kah-seh) style. Here the nous vegetarian starter. diners trust the chefs to choose the indiThe Hibachi Dining Room is not a vidual morsels and to be innovative and place to go for a quiet dinner. Each hibasurprising in their selections. chi table seats eight and flanks a large flat Most entrees are served with a bowl steel teppanyaki grill. The hibachi chefs of miso soup and a lettuce salad. The interact with the diners as they prepare miso broth is light and flavorful with bits their meals across the table. The perforof soft tofu, seaweed and green onion. mance starts with a four-foot tall alcoholThe salad comes dressed with a sugary fired flame exploding from the surface of mayonnaise-based dressing. The creamy the grill. Hoots and cheers erupt as the dressing is popular, but we think it would chefs move along with flaming, steambe good to have another dressing choice ing onion ring volcanoes and egg jugavailable for those of us who don’t want it gling. They flip, twirl and clatter their really sweet. spatulas and play games of catch, as they The Kobe Beef Appetizer ($10.99) is flick morsels of food up and into the dincooked at the table on a 750F degree volers’ mouths from yards away. Passers-by canic stone slab. Six small slices of the beware! beef are served with pickled carrot and The Hibachi meats, chicken and seacucumber spears and a sweetened soy dipfood are good food, simply prepared. ping sauce. They’re served with mushroom soup Kobe beef is a delicacy. Because of the and house salad. The chef prepares fried heavy fat marbling in the meat, it is conrice and mixed stir-fried vegetables on sidered more special than USDA Prime. the grill to fill up everyone’s plate. SinBoth the flavor and the tenderness of this gle Items include Vegetables ($12.99) or beef are extraordinary. Steak ($18.99) to “Emperor’s Dinners” Kobe cattle are fed a luxurious diet
like Steak, Chicken & Shrimp ($28.99) or Filet Mignon, Lobster, Shrimp & Scallops ($38.99). The Hibachi experience could be great fun for a large party of friends or for the kids. A Children’s Menu lists several items around $10 or less and is available in all areas of the restaurant. Special desserts are featured every week. For those with a sense of adventure, there’s always Tempura Battered, Deep Fried Ice Cream ($3.99) or Deep Fried Cheesecake ($3.99). One of Sakura Home’s sister restaurants even deep fries Twinkies! The great divide, when getting together a group to go to a Japanese restaurant, is that many people just won’t eat raw fish. Considering the size and the breadth of Sakura Home’s Menu, one doesn’t need to eat anything raw here. The Sushi Menu lists ten rolls that have no raw fish and three of those are even vegan. Many other cooked menu items ensure that no one will be left out. It’s a tribute to Sakura Home’s success and to the growing popularity of Japanese food in the United States that two new Japanese restaurants have spun off from this one. In December 2009, Sunrise Japanese Steak House was opened by Mark Teng at 945 Jefferson Rd., Henrietta. In the same month, Peter Sun opened Shogun Palace at 850 East Ridge Road in Irondequoit. We wish them all the best in all their new ventures.
Sakura Home 2775 Monroe Avenue Rochester, New York 14618 585-288-8130 www.sakurahomerestaurant.com/ Monday-Saturday: 11am-10pm Sunday: 1-10pm Full bar, wine list, specialty martinis, Japanese beers. Daily drink specials and featured wines by the bottle. Live piano music three nights including Friday and Saturday
Susan Light of Brighton Securities, Hamilton Audio Visual, and the Gay Alliance present
The Latest Thing:
TWO SHOWS ONLY Sunday April 18 4pm
A Show That’s Fashion Forward and SIDEWAYS for both the MAN and WOMAN in you!
(Doors open at 3pm)
7pm
(Doors open at 6pm)
Directed and Choreographed by Madhaus productions Production Stage Manager: Emily Taradash YOU WON’T BELIEVE YOUR MIND Featuring clothing and merchandise from the stores of Waterloo premium Outlets • Cash Bar • Silent Auction • 50-50 Drawing • EXTREME MAN MAKEOVER by OUTLANDISH • ticket holders receive gifts bags at the door • a WIN-WIN to benefit PRIDE 2010 • more info: www.gayalliance.org tickets on sale at Outlandish and Equal=Grounds tickets advance: $10 & $25 VIP • at the door: $15 & $30 VIP at: RIT Inn & Conference Center, 5257 West Henrietta Road, Henrietta, New York 14467 • www.ritinn.com – Offering a $69 overnight room rate – they have an Indoor Pool An 18-and-Over Event
Photograph: Matt Liptak • Model: Kathryn Orfeo Make up & Hair: Mark A. Davis • Corset: Emily T-Dash and Mark Davis
to benefit pride 2010
APRIL 2010 • number 433 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet
Art show at U.R. will promote world peace From a culture of violence to a culture of peace.... “Transforming The Human Spirit,” an exhibit promoting peace, will take place the weekend of April 9-11. This exhibit is organized by the Soka Gakkai International, a worldwide Buddhist lay association that promotes peace, culture and education through personal change and social contribution. The SGI, as a non-governmental organization accredited by the United Nations, shares the mission of promoting international peace and security. For more information, see www.sgi.org. The exhibit is sponsored by the Value Creation Club of the University of Rochester. Doors open at 9 a.m. at the University of Rochester’s Hirst Lounge in the Wilson Commons. Admission is free and the event is open to the public.
Clara Engel: hidden treasure By Laura McSpadden On March 12, Clara Engel performed at KC Tea and Noodles, 363 Goodman St. The evening also included performances by Rad Unicorn (who play “dirty songs for broken hearts”), Who Took These Pictures? (“Three guitars, one question”) and Bogs Visionary Orchestra (whose most recent album is described as “Daniel Johnston meets the Carter Family at an Allen Ginsburg reading”). Clara Engel is a hidden treasure in the music world: although few people are familiar with her, she is without a doubt an artist and a visionary. Imagine the music that would arise from the point where PJ Harvey meets William Faulkner, or maybe where Charles Bukowski meets the nocturnes of Chopin (that is, of course, if Chopin wrote for guitar) and
perhaps the most creative parts of you can intuit the intensity and beauty of the worlds within Clara Engel’s songs. If not, may I recommend that you go to the closest computer and give her music a listening-to at http://www.myspace. com/claraengel. Press play, close your eyes, and get ready: you will be treated to the sounds of a voice like metallic silk that coaxes you ever so gently towards the mystical realm that resides on the oceanfront somewhere in between fantasy and meditative absorption. The alluring mystery that is contained within her songs and her lyrics is no accident: it is an inherent part of her writing process. “My approach is mysterious, even to me,” she said. “Songs are sort of like films for me, in that I want to cast a spell, and I love slow deliberate movements, which draw you in gently – suddenly you realize you’ve been swept out to sea, in another world, in a trance. I also like to always be creating. I can’t ‘rehearse.’ I have finished songs onstage before, I just started playing a fragment of a song, and it unfurled itself. “My work is formless in a sense, and I like to leave the bones showing.” Engel’s lyrics are imbued with rich imagery as well as engaging characters, resulting in songs that can transport listeners to achingly ephemeral realms of their own creation: although the songs may be grounded in the day-to-day realities of life, they transcend the mundane and encourage listeners to reach beyond their thoughts and experiences. “Even if there is a moment, phrase or experience which plants the seed for a song, the finished work itself sort of blasts its limbs like a tree into the stars, and has no desire, or even capacity, to look back at its roots, or to search for the original inspiration,” Engel said. “I think being brutal and deferring to the poetic principle is my modus operandi. “But the emotions behind my songs are definitely real and sometimes very personal,” she continued. “I just can’t help
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Clara Engel. Photo: Laura McSpadden
but blur the divide between self/other, reality/fiction when I am in the state of writing and creating.” This state of openness within the songs would be impossible without a similar state of openness within Clara herself. “My work, voice, and self are unbound by concepts like gay/straight and male/ female, etc.,” Engel said. “There is a quote I love about the best singing being androgynous, transcending gender. I forget who said it. But when I read it, it resonated so much with where I want to be as a singer and as a person: somewhere amorphous and bound to no rigid identity.” All of which contributes to the poetic accessibility of the themes within her melodies. “My music seems to appeal to romantics, whatever the gender/s of the people they fall in love with may be,” she said. “My work is pretty preoccupied with mortality as well, which also transcends orientations and identity politics. Pretty much everything I write could be said to be about love and/or death, two inexhaustibles that concern us all.” Clara has released five CDs to date, that can be purchased at CdBaby.com. ■
(Rainbow continued from page 1) chioed “Monarch of Male Impersonation” who threw it all away for love when she married her costume assistant, unintentionally becoming the first legal lesbian marriage in the United States of America. The Sunday Tribune: “Ladies and Gentlemen plays wonderful theatrical games, gently blurring the sexual boundaries between gender and identity… a deeply satisfying and moving meditation on life in love and theatre.” (Performance Dates: April 16, 17, 23, and 24 at 8 p.m.; Apr. 25 at 2 p.m.) “Nijinsky’s Last Dance” by Norman Allen tells the story of the famous dancer Vaslav Nijinsky, who has fallen prey to mental illness during the prime of his artistic life. Having been institutionalized, he retreats into his own memories and thoughts. During the battle for his sanity, the audience witnesses Nijinsky’s personal rise and fall, which can be equated with the collapsing civilization and the unraveling of the twentieth century. “Nijinsky’s Last Dance” is supported by a grant from the Arts and Cultural Council for Greater Rochester, The New York State Council on the Arts and the New York State Legislature. (Performance Dates: Apr. 30; May 1, 7, and 8 at 8 p.m.; May 2 and 9 at 2 p.m.) Founded in 2000, Bread & Water Theatre is committed to making the arts accessible and affordable to a broad-based audience and acting as a positive agent of change in its community. Under the artistic direction of J.R. Teeter, BWT develops theatre that speaks to our living, evolving, and dramatically changing world through new and rare works of drama, and aspires to be a major force in American theatre, providing audiences with challenging contemporary drama and innovative community outreach programs.
The Rainbow Theater Festival will be presented at 243 Rosedale St. (New Life Presbyterian Church) beginning April 9 and running through May 9. Specific performance dates are listed above. Single tickets range from $6-$12 and may be purchased in person at the Bread & Water Theatre box office or through BreadandWaterTheatre.org. For more information, call (585) 271-5523. ■ ( Vagina continued from page 1) tainment in a variety of forms abounded, thanks to the members of the cast. For instance, Cammy Enaharo treated us to songs that she strummed on her ukulele, Michele Leach danced up a storm and a capella renditions of a wide variety of songs occasionally filled the green room. In between the music and dancing, many of the groups ran through their monologues one last time. (Not to mention the crazy, off-thewall anecdotes that we shared with each other, covering topics as varied as discoera memories, mother issues, strippers and — of course — our vaginas. I will not be publishing those stories here. Sorry. Use your imagination to fill in the blanks.) The show-behind-the-show may not have raised any extra dollars, but it was certainly entertaining. And, in many ways, it exemplified the connections and friendships that had developed between all of the Vagina Warriors over the last several months. Finally it was time for my group to gather in the wings and ready ourselves. I was in the monologue (or, more accurately, the pentalogue) called “Say It: For the Comfort Women,” along with four other cast members — Lisa Gillon, Jes Gonzalez, Shereese Jones and Greta Page-Mann. I could feel the stage under my bare feet as I looked out into the audience. My nerves disappeared as I poured myself into the lines: I quieted my thoughts and did the best I could to communicate the authentic pain of the experiences of the “comfort women” who were held as sex slaves by the Japanese government during World War II: anyone who is interested in learning more about the comfort woman should check out the video at http://vodpod.com/ watch/39178-japans-comfort-women. Then, all too soon, the performance was over. Everything after I stepped onto the stage is a bit of a blur: the cast photographs, the reception and raffle drawing, the congratulations and compliments of the attendees all passed by in a moment. It’s still hard to believe it’s all over… Until next year. There is no doubt in my mind that I will be involved with the next Rochester production of The Vagina Monologues. If you missed your chance this year, definitely keep your eyes and ears out for announcements regarding auditions for the 2011 production; it is a worthwhile, powerful and empowering event to be a part of, and the friendships and memories that you will make are guaranteed to be precious beyond measure. ■
the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 433 • APRIL 2010
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been quite interesting if they were the final contestants vying for the win. When it did come down to it, Heather chose Rachel as her first choice team player for her finale. Heather may be in command at Monterey Restaurant, but, unlike Gordon Ramsey, she is not degrading and gets along with the entire staff where American cuisine reigns. Whenever possible, fresh local produce and meats are in the recipe. It’s not too difficult as there are both farms and farmers’ markets to choose from on Long Island. As the summer approaches and Monterey starts catering to a beach crowd, Heather will have a new menu, beginning this month. I would expect that one of the top sellers would be her ice cream prepared “brulee” style. You can expect flavors such as espresso with cherries, maple cream, and spearmint chip. While I was at the restaurant, Heather prepared a few items that, like all, are “cooked to order”. Escarole and White Bean (cannelloni) soup is a constant request. The soup begins with sautéing shallots and garlic, then tossing in the white beans and escarole. Heather uses her own vegetable stock and “parm, parm, parm, parm,” first in the cooking, then at the bottom of the dish and sprinkled on the top. The sweetness comes from the sautéed shallots and she’s easy on the salt. If that wasn’t great enough, the second cooking was prepared using fresh gnocchi. The sauce was composed of garlic, onions, cherry tomatoes, white wine, a bit of chili pepper flakes and finished with butter. Hey, sometimes there is just no substitute for butter! Once a month, on a Wednesday evening, Heather does a cooking demonstration and prix fix dinner for $39.95. She prepares a three-course meal with instructions, where guests learn how to prepare the dishes they are served, then are given a recipe card so they can replicate the dishes for their families at home. With reruns of Hell’s Kitchen on the Fox network, you can either catch Heather on Season Two as a contestant or as a Sous Chef on Season Six. If you are on Long Island this spring or summer, check out the restaurant at www.montereyny. com. ■
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By Merle Exit “Heather won Hell’s Kitchen because of her determination. She stuck to what she knew best, and she controlled her kitchen from start to finish. Heather clearly has great leadership qualities. This, for a 25-year old cook, is a phenomenon. This woman is going to be a big success!” These were the words of not-easy-toplease Chef Gordon Ramsey on Season Two, 2006, of the famous, or perhaps infamous, reality show. It won her a $250,000 one-year contract at Red Rock Casino in Las Vegas, where she worked as the Senior Chef. Thousands of people came to see her and she made loads of friends. She has moved on since then, learning as much as her mind could grasp. After her stint at various restaurants around the country, she decided that being “home” in Long Island would truly fulfill her life. There was an opening for an Executive Chef in Long Beach at a restaurant called Monterey. It didn’t take long before they hired the now 29-year-old in September of 2009, working long hours and six days a week. So, how did this all come about and what was it like being on Hell’s Kitchen? Heather tells me that she was working as a Sous Chef at two restaurants on the eastern end of Long Island, Almondito and Almond, when the casting crew of Hell’s Kitchen popped in asking if she would be interested in being a contestant on Season Two. That didn’t mean that it was an assurance. There were still interviews, photos, videos and making it past thousands of people to be one of the twelve. “I was off to Los Angeles and told that I would be in a hotel room and totally cut off from all communication for the first three days.” That meant not being able to speak to her dad, Jack, who she sees as her best friend, as well as the rest of her family and friends. “We were told to expect to be void of communication for a month. I didn’t even meet the other contestants until we arrived, blindfolded, at the location of Hell’s Kitchen.” Perhaps the logistics have changed since Season Two. However, Heather tells me that they were taped 24 hours a day (except for when they went to the bathroom or were in bed) and given about an hour and a half of sleep each night. “We could only eat at certain times and between the deprivations and the Sous Chef yelling at us, it placed a lot of stress on my mind and body. In fact, I lost 15 lbs.” She got much support from a fellow contestant, Rachel Brown. In fact, Heather tells me that it was “love at first sight” for both of the out lesbians. It would have
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APRIL 2010 • number 433 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet
Columnists
The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet.
Growing Up Parting Glances By Eric Bellmann I bit the bullet the other morning and phoned Marta, my New York City landlady who’s been bedridden ever since she broke her hip nearly a year and a half ago. I’d gone to see her early on when she was in a nursing home, but she’s been back in her own apartment one flight above me for a long time. For a time Marta seemed to be improving. Twice she had one of her caregivers bring her uptown to Friday’s regular lunch-with-the-girls. Marta had been my entry to this group and it has become a regular part of my New York life. New York actually works OK for disabled people. Buses have special places for wheelchairs, all the curbs are tapered down to accommodate wheelchairs and sidewalks are quickly shoveled in the winter; it’s the law! Then Marta was diagnosed with bladder cancer and reluctantly began treatment. Bladder cancer is slow moving and the treatment isn’t so horrible. Anyway, the long and the short of it is that now Marta stays at home in bed comforted by her two cats and watches TV all day. She’s managed to go through a series of home care aides. Marta can be difficult. That’s as kindly as I can put it. But when people trash her or just repeat anecdotes that reveal her feisty nature, I remind them that she’s been nothing but good to me. She rented the studio to me, replaced the sofa bed with a real bed when I told her the fold-out was uncomfortable and, most significantly, she introduced me to the ladies who lunch and they are now a joyous part of my new life. So I owe her. And that is why I called. The woman who answered handed Marta the phone. She was unintelligible, like an angry parrot screeching. The worker told me there were many days when she could not understand Marta at all. So I just mumbled pleasantries, hello, how are you, miss you, let me know if you want me to visit and said I’d call back the next morning. Then, when I called again, the line went directly to voice mail. Marta doesn’t want to be bothered. While the hard part for me was deciding to do the right thing, I was relieved not to visit her. I’m ashamed about my queasiness. She’s only six years older than I am. I could end up like that. You could, too. And I’d want someone to care, to show up. It’s not clear what Marta wants. Everyone asks why doesn’t she just die. Sounds harsh, I suppose and maybe she does want to die. Not that easy. Once upon a time in small towns, maybe a merciful doctor hastened an exit. No doctor would do that now, not in a big city. Too many eyes and ears. Unless you have your stash of pills within easy reach, you’re screwed. You just have to wait it out. Then there’s Graham. Beloved, nasty Graham, the cat I’ve baby sat off and on for the last three years. Graham is pushing fourteen and lately his behavior is changing. He laps water constantly. His weight is dropping. Graham has always been fat. He sits forever in front of his food dish, expecting a second or third serving. Now everyone comments on how thin he has grown. Graham is capable of very dramatic confrontations. He can hiss and scratch. As Marta grows more aggressive, Graham grows less so. For all his oddities, everyone
who knows Graham loves him. A visit to the vet is no small undertaking, but it is now necessary to learn why he is losing weight. The nearby veterinarian employs a cat specialist and she is to see Graham. Only after he’s been sedated, of course. We’ve been down this road before. So many tests! The finding is kidney failure. Back home we try some of the recommended treatments, a pill (twice a day for God’s sake!), and an eye dropper of supposedly pleasant tasting medicine squirted right between those sharp, sharp teeth. After one day we realize neither of these treatments is going to work, just too painful for our beloved Graham. It is agreed we will just feed him all he wants and pet him and love him and wait. The sad difference is that with a pet, one knows love without qualification. Graham never yelled at me or said I was fat or stupid. For all his crankiness he is forgiving. He leaps onto the bed, waits to be brushed and when he’s totally mellow and half asleep, he’ll roll over and let me rub his belly. Worst case is that with Graham now and then you end up with scratch marks, which in fact fade with time. Relationships with people are more complicated. For all her generosity, I know Marta is capable of turning ugly in a flash. Right now I’m told she is pissed that I am paying my rent directly to her son, who manages the staggering expenses involved in running the building, expenses Marta ignored without a care. I mean taxes and utilities! She just didn’t bother to pay them. Everyone from paid aides to her two adult sons to her circle of friends has learned to be cautious with Marta, to be on guard, to be alert for the unexpected. Graham has people who will help him die, it’s that simple. Not now, not yet, but eventually. The vet will come to the house, he will be comfortable, he will be with the people he knows and loves and trusts. It is not at all clear what will happen to Marta. No one wants to think about it. No one can plan. I thought of calling this column “Deathwatch,” which is accurate but too grim. Instead those involved with both Marta and Graham are looking at them, thinking about them, thinking about their own mortality, taking time to feel and reflect and ponder the complexities of life. E-mail:ELBCAD@ RIT.EDU
Cleaning My Closet Cake Crumbs By Meredith Elizabeth Reiniger A sneeze. A silence. Now a public service announcement. If you sneeze in my presence, expect only quiet. I have decided to withdraw my participation in the Sneeze Call And Response. Responding is an obligation that I can no longer accept. Yes indeed, after much though, I have elected to withdraw from the God-BlessYou Superstition. It was only recently that I was motivated to break away from that false notion. It happened when I was engrossed in a Geva play. A person sneezed. Another person reacted: “GOD BLESS YOU.” The sneeze perpetrator responded, “Thank you.” The way I see it, there were six interruptions: one sneeze and five words. For-
tunately the entire audience did not feel obliged to ward off germ-spewing demons. And gladly I give up god-bless-yous. I am relieved to have one less responsibility. Giving-up things has been on my mind since March brought my 66th birthday and the Easter season. Every birthday cake reminds me that I need to give up bad habits if I expect to eat another year’s cake. And every bite of bunny butts reminds me that there is a very long list of things I should give up. Furthermore, all the Christians around me who follow their traditions of Lent remind me of the many Give Ups I have attempted. In my old days, I learned about bending Lenten rules from my Catholic playmate. Donna did not give up purple jellybeans, her favorite. That was lucky for my family, because we all disliked that perfume-tasting color. So for 40 days and 40 nights, we purged the purples and dropped them into the Donna Bowl. It was empty by the end of each play day. She needed to give up something. She chose peeps. Well, if your friend does it, you do it. Needing to Fit In, I gave up Bazooka Bubblegum. Actually it was an easy sacrifice because I did not like chewing that enormous wad. I only liked its bright pink color and the cartoon on the wrapper. I gave the gum to Donna’s older brother in hopes that love would stick. Alas, beautiful brown-eyed Jimmy became my first unrequited love. Of course, to give up stuff is to struggle. Especially when What-MyMother-Taught-Me bumps into WhatRecent-Scientific-Studies-Reveal. For example, I just found an artifact that delineates my skewed assessment of healthy food. A hand written recipe from Mommy dearest. It was from my old days, when all foods were undeniable friends, not insidious enemies. The recipe, yellowed with age, calls for eight ounces baby calves liver, drenched in flour, browned in one stick butter, covered with one cup grated cheddar cheese. In the margins I had noted: made this January 1967… easy, delicious, and nutritious. Wow, 43 years later that recipe gives up its wholesome category and becomes a Kevorkian option. As a glowing new bride, I decided to give up mother’s outdated thinking. I puffed with pride when I stopped using gorgeous white Crisco and Velveeta’s fauxcheese. I felt like an accomplished nutritionist when, in 1971, I stopped adding salt to food I cooked and baked. Then in August 1972, I started to give up salted butter. The very fact that I have these dates inscribed in my memory indicates the significance of my sacrifices. Now that I am in my dotage, there are daily Give-It-Ups, dictated by my dentists, my doctors, my mirrors. Give up stuff with truckloads of salt. What? My beloved Campbell’s tomato soup made with whole milk. Canned chicken broth, canned anything. Restaurant food. Cheerios. Potato chips and dip while I watch The Biggest Loser. Is there no end? Some Give-It-Ups are very traumatic for me. Especially butter. I suspect that sweet Mommy laced my baby food with Land O’Lakes Butter. I know that at mother’s table I learned to make yellow pools in my mashed potato hills. How to slather butter on my steaks and my hot dogs. The beauty of a measurable layer of butter on my peanut butter sandwiches on potato bread. Ah, my good old days. Now I realize that I am making not a PBJ. I am making a cholesterol on carbs. With the wisdom of my age, I try to be mindful of the food I eat and how I prepare it. I acknowledge that I have, over the course of the quickly passing years, ingested biological time bombs and squandered countless seconds. Like cutting up an entire meal into bite-sized morsels. Oh yes, such a time, I did exactly that. Cut up enough bread, meat, and fruits for eight people. It was called a Fondue Party. It was The Thing To Do in the seventies. I used my wedding presents… three fondue pots. Their long forks had
b5 variously colored handles so the Stab & Cook-er was the same as the Remove & Eat-er. Eight friends would gather around the blue light of the sterno cans to dunk bites into gloppy beer-laced cheese, wineinfused broth, and liquor-enhanced chocolate. Apparently calories and cholesterol had not yet been invented. Yes, fondly I recall our fun. But these days I am mindful of who was in the kitchen all those hours, all those precious minutes. Now fervently I reject the job of chief cook and bottle washer. And cleverly I have two solutions. Marry a womyn who cooks (I will). Or give these directions (learned from my father) to invited dinner guests: when you arrive, lean up against the porch post and ring the doorbell with your foot. “Why?” they will ask. Well, I will explain, your arms will be full of a dessert and a dish to pass, won’t they? One of my biggest Give-Ups saddens me. We had hope. Now we give up. We give up the hope that we could be legally married in our own state. We have rejected the idea of getting married in Toronto because we want to be married in our own country, want to feel that we are accepted as whole American citizens. Regrettably, our civil rights still denied, my Loved One and I will drive far away from Monroe County, very far away from Albany. Definitely out of New York. On the 30th of July in the year 2010, the state of Massachusetts will honor our civil right to a legal marriage license. The gentle words of Faith Lavender and the loving circle of our four friends will bless our marriage ceremony. We do not, after all, have to give up our rights. We can have our cake and eat it too. MeredithElizabethReiniger@frontiernet.net
Faith Matters Black motherhood lost at the Oscars By Rev. Irene Monroe The historical legacy of the devaluation and demonization of black motherhood was both applauded and rewarded at this year’s Oscars. And the point was clearly illustrated with Mo’Nique, capturing the gold statue for best supporting actress in the movie “Precious, based on the novel Push by Sapphire,” as a ghetto welfare mom who demeans and demoralizes her child every chance she can. Mo’Nique’s role was juxtaposed to Sandra Bullock’s, who captured her Oscar as best actress in the movie “ The Blind Side,” offering the hand of human kindness to a poor black child in need of parenting. But the images African-American parenting have historically been viewed through a prism of gendered and racial stereotypes. And the image of Mo’Nique as the “bad black mother” and Sandra Bullock as” good white mother” is nothing new. The images of the “bad black mother” have not only been used for entertainment purposes but also used for legislating welfare policy reforms. For example, in Ronald Reagan’s era (1981-1989), black motherhood was constantly under siege. These moms were depicted as Cadillac-driving “welfare queens,” who had little to no ambition to work, wanted money for drugs, and wanted to continue, due to their uncontrolled sexuality, to have illegitimate babies in order to remain on welfare. Reagan told a fallacious story about a African American mother from Chicago’s South Side who was arrested for welfare fraud that subsequently not only shaped public perception of black mothers but it also shaped welfare reform:
6 b “She has eighty names, thirty addresses, twelve Social Security cards and is collecting veteran’s benefits on four nonexisting deceased husbands. And she is collecting Social Security on her cards. She’s got Medicaid, getting food stamps, and she is collecting welfare under each of her names.” The story of Precious takes place in 1983. And while the book shapes the character Precious and that of her mother Mary within both the economic and cultural context of the Reagan era, the movie “Precious” does not. And this one-dimensional depiction of Mary conveniently reinscribes black mothers’ fear, that haunts us daily — that we’re never good enough. The feeling that we as mothers are never good enough was thrown in our faces also in Daniel Moynihan’s 1965 report “ The Negro Family: The Case For National Action.” This report -- also known as the Moynihan Report -- states that the cause of the destruction of the Black nuclear family structure was Black women, giving rise to the myth of “the Black Matriarch.” The myth proposes that African-American women are complicit with white patriarchal society in the emasculation of African-American men by becoming heads of households and primary jobholders. Lee Daniels, the director of “Precious,” has a knack for portraying monstrous black mothers on the silver screen. Halle Berry won the Academy Award for Best Actress in 2001 for her role as bad mother in Daniels’ “Monster’s Ball.” In this “post-racial” Obama era, the subject of race and the politics of black representation in films are constrained by neither political correctness nor moral consciousness. But Daniels would argue that the moral conscience of his “Precious” is evident in the film’s crossover appeal, but also in the universality of its message -- the suffering and damage of children at the hands of parents. While Daniels’ film shocked and awed moviegoers across the country, many African American sisters, like Precious, didn’t find the film as liberating and cathartic as intended. For many of these sisters -- as with a lot of African American women -- we saw not ourselves, but rather a modern-day version of an old racist stereotype. Some African American woman told me they saw the character Precious as our culture’s new “Hottentot Venus.” Hottentot Venus was Saartjie “Sarah” Baartman from South Africa, who was forced to reveal her huge buttocks and labia to curious Europeans in a traveling human circus show. The Hottentot Venus has become the iconic image for portraying black female bodies as subhuman, and this image is still very much part and parcel of our culture’s social discourse. “Portraying African-American women as stereotypical mammies, matriarchs, welfare recipients, and hot mommas has been essential to the political economy of domination fostering Black women’s oppression, ” sociologist Patricia Hill Col-
the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 433 • APRIL 2010 lins writes in “Black Feminist Thought: Knowledge, Consciousness, and the Politics of Empowerment”. “Precious” is no doubt an important film. But when the artistic portrayal of the characters and people Daniels is trying to bring to life in a new way reinscribes century-old stereotypes, Daniels -- albeit with good intentions -- has caused harm. And if Daniels won’t take my advice on this, then he should just pause for a moment and go and ask his momma.
Conundrums Massa and the Media: A head-on collision By Ove Overmyer Guilty until proven otherwise – this is the new American way. And, no evidence is required to destroy someone’s career or public identity. Just ask the ACORN folks or New York Democrats David Paterson, Charles Rangel and Eric Massa. Everything Americans have worked for over the past two hundred years, to establish the democratic rule of law over the emotions of mob mentality has been nullified by overzealous media hounds, political wannabes, scared staffers and hateful observers. Unsubstantiated accounts of ethics violations and wrong doing, fake fear and terror are being perpetrated by folks whose sole mission in life is to “take somebody down” or find their own journalistic 15 minutes of fame. Indicted conservative activist and ACORN video pimp James O’Keefe comes to mind. Media vigilante justice is nothing new. Due process, the right to a fair trial, the right to be safe and secure in one’s home are all things of the past – things we used to defend as the best traits of American virtue before we succumbed to the overstated hyperbole of the War on Terror, the Patriot Act and the ever-present stench of political corruption. Take New York Democratic Rep. Eric Massa for example, who faced a harassment complaint by a male staffer, and said on March 5 that he was stepping down from his seat with “a profound sense of failure.” At first, I thought this is what taking personal responsibility looks like -- unequivocally holding oneself accountable for one’s own mistakes and bravely accepting the consequences. Are we sad and disappointed in Congressman Massa? You bet. As one of my colleagues so aptly put it, “We never got the return on our investment.” Massa released a statement dated March 5 saying that he learned he was the subject of an ethics complaint by a male staffer who felt “uncomfortable” during an exchange with him. The exchange reportedly had sexual overtones.
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A visibly upset Massa said he didn’t want to put his family through an ethics committee investigation. Who could blame him? He also had to endure plenty of embarrassment that he was partially responsible for -- a jaw-dropping exchange with Glenn Beck and Larry King’s insipid questions, including “Are you gay?” In Eric’s attempt to set the record straight, so to speak, he did himself, his family and everyone who cares about good government a huge disservice. The news about the Eric Massa debacle is particularly disturbing to all the local progressives who worked very hard over the past four years to get him elected and for those who supported him while he was in office. With a little help from himself, the media took a basically well-meaning man and made him look like a foolish court jester. Watching him unravel on national television was like witnessing a Plymouth Satellite vault over a mountainous cliff. Eric openly admits that the ethics issue is his fault and his alone. But in the incredibly toxic atmosphere that is Washington D.C., with the destruction of our elected leaders having become a blood sport as he calls it, especially in talk radio and on the internet, there is also no doubt that most reasonable people would not subject themselves to such scrutiny. If you truly want to find out the dirt on someone, it’s there for the taking. If it doesn’t suit your needs, all you have to do is embellish a little. It begs the question, who in their right mind would want to run for public office if this is what you can expect? In today’s destructive and unforgiving 24/7 political environment, Massa was ripe for the taking. Media types of all political stripes were free to ask and search for anything about Eric going back to his naval career as an officer. Again, in his defense, he said he simply cannot rise to that level of perfection people expect. He said we are all flawed human beings and imperfect people, and he is no exception. What a colossal understatement that was.
I for one accept Eric’s apology with reservations -- and I am having a hard time reconciling his bizarre behavior. Despite the betrayal and making me recoil on several occasions, I still hope Eric can find some clinical help and heal. And I partially hold contempt for the mass media vultures, who unmercifully circled over him like a dying carcass. Eric Massa used to be a beacon of hope for many of us in the labor community, but I have to make something perfectly clear. Our support of his candidacy was never about his person. It was always about the issues facing working families and the struggles of the middle class. Despite losing a strong progressive voice in Washington, let Eric’s story be a lesson to us all. Congress-persons will come and go, but our issues remain. Our fight continues to be about speaking truth to power and against the mistruths of omnipresent aggressors. Let’s turn the page with the hope that the good people of New York’s 29th District will be well represented once again and that the overzealous media hounds like Glenn Beck and James O’Keefe will continue to get their come-uppance.
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APRIL 2010 • number 433 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet (Gamilla continued from page 1) various films and then do an all-day session to determine the winners, the day before the awards ceremony. “It’s interesting because you have to compromise and listen to what other people say,” Michael said. “We try to watch films when audiences are there to see their reaction, but sometimes schedules won’t allow for that. The main thing on my mind was, ‘Will this be good for ImageOut?’ “It’s amazing to be part of the jury, not just for me, but for ImageOut,” he said. “ImageOut has always been known globally; more people know about ImageOut than live in Rochester! Directors, distributors and others find out about Rochester from knowing about ImageOut. Then they make the connection with the Eastman House, etc. It is recognized as one of the top 10 gay film festivals to submit work to.” The job of juror is demanding but also fun. “As a regular festival-goer, you always have to fight for tickets and then still may not get a seat, it’s so crowded,” Michael said. “Being on the jury was so special because everything is done for you and you get recognition. The Teddy Awards are televised on German TV and they flash our faces on the big screen onstage. It’s a big deal and a huge responsibility, because the films chosen will get exposure. “There’s a huge party afterwards. You get invited to a lot of different parties. Party-going isn’t mandatory – but it’s not every year you get invited to all these parties – so, basically, you don’t sleep!” Michael met James Frankel, Rufus Wainwright and a lot of European film directors. “You get to extend a personal invitation,” he said. “When they come to Rochester, it takes them off-guard – they are surprised by the warmth and the size of audiences at ImageOut.” ■ (Radiant continued from page 1) fer to, as it were, boil stories and characters down to their essence? Tony Leuzzi: My first encounters with literature were the Biblical stories nuns read to us students at the Catholic grammar school I attended. I’ll never forget first hearing the story of Joseph, how his brothers betrayed him and threw him into a pit, how he was captured by the Egyptians, how he interpreted two vivid dreams of the Pharaoh and was ultimately exalted by his captors. Some of the lay teachers read us pagan stories, too. I recall, for example, the enthralling story
of Perseus and Medusa. As I moved through grade school, my yen for stories turned me into an avid reader. Not coincidentally, I felt different from most of the kids around me, so I was often lonely, even when I wasn’t alone. I took refuge in books and identified with fictional characters. I must have read Judy Blume’s Then Again Maybe I Won’t 40 times, partially because the narrator was named Tony and partially because he was prone, like me, to stomach aches. I’m certain I fell in love with him. Gone with the Wind was another early favorite. By the time I reached high school, I was pretty much hooked on novels. I still am. A few years ago, I spent an entire summer reading all of Dostoevsky’s enormous tomes at Durand Beach. I’m amazed I didn’t get melanoma. But narratives are only half the story, as it were, for as long as I have loved a good yarn, I have also taken immense pleasure in the rhythms, repetitions, and emotional impact of lyric poetry. I attended church once or twice a week for years and knew the liturgy by heart: the Nicene Creed, the Lord’s Prayer, the Transubstantiation ritual where bread and wine respectively become the body and blood of Christ. All of this left an indelible mark upon me and gave me a sensibility—or perhaps susceptibility—to the poetries of praise and mystery. I’m no longer observant, but I am thankful for that early exposure to the grandeur of the Psalms, the pleasing parallelisms of the Beatitudes, the solemnity of countless hymns. Anyone writing poems has to contend with this supposed dichotomy between narrative and lyric. For me the two are intertwined and many of my poems exploit narrative devices that are associated with fiction. However, I am not merely trying to tell a story; many of my poems expose the limitations of narrative. A more practical answer is this: my poems are made from all manner of materials — stories, essays, philosophical arguments, dreams, urban legend, elevator graffiti, instruction manuals… Why do I write poems instead of fiction? I’m a bit obsessive by nature and like to create things I can work and rework until I am exhausted by the effort. Given my tendency to revise and embroider, I work best on smaller scales. The few short stories I have written are all under 10 pages each. My favoring poetry over fiction may also have something to do with growing up closeted. In the interest of self-pres-
ervation, I learned to keep my queerness to myself. Although I was a decent listener and certainly an astute observer, and although writing seems like a natural extension of these qualities, when I would put a pen to paper the stories simply would not come, no matter how badly I wanted them to. Perhaps this was because I was suppressing my own narrative. Writing poems, by contrast, allowed me to work on a more abstract plane. I didn’t dare reveal myself to others and yet, through poems, I could earn notice in more oblique ways. Looking back on it, I suppose those first poems were literary equivalents to my yelling, “Look at me — but not too closely!” I’m older now and more comfortable in my skin. I am no longer repressed, but I’m still temperamentally prone to writing poems that conceal as much as they reveal. This is not a deficit. The recently deceased luminary Stanley Kunitz once said, “I want poems that do not tell secrets but are filled with them.” I think that’s a sound aesthetic for artists working in almost any medium. EC: Many of the poems include images drawn from Nature, or are observations of animals like deer or skunks, or refer to gardening, or the lives of plants and trees. In “One Halloween” you “become” a peach tree. In other poems, ivy twists up arms or fingers become tendrils. Your poem “E” says, “enter earth and its entanglements.” Care to comment? TL: I am an avid gardener. I also love animals and have a big orange cat. (I often tell people I am one wide-brimmed hat away from being an old woman.) In my childhood, I grew up in the suburbs next to a field and played in its vegetation for hours and hours. There, I encountered deer, rats, chipmunks, squirrels, rabbits, skunks, raccoons, and other critters. Now that I live in the city, I am often visited by such animals in my own yard. My first full book of poems, TongueTied and Singing, is filled with poems about flowers and plant life. Learning about plants introduced me to a rigorous vocabulary of strange new words like “sepal,” “umbel,” “inflorescence,” “panicle,” “sheath.” This plant language charged me with a lot of excitement. The result is that Tongue-Tied is very much concerned with Nature — both descriptively and metaphorically. In the new book, however, I often cite natural imagery in conjunction with references to human interaction. Most of the strictly Nature poems are ironic: in “Letter to American Poets,” I say
“Listen: we do not live in garden beds.” I get tired of reading flower poems. If the body of existing plant and animal verse were to be literally believed, one would think the majority of American poets live on farms or in rural areas. This is simply not true. Many of us live in cities and struggle with the realities of a highly technological world. Is the focus on Nature in poetry, then, a kind of escapism? I hope in my case it is not. One of the words you mentioned in your question was “become.” My poems are less about Nature than they are about transformation. A persistent theme of my work is the self in a continual stage of becoming. I, too, am a constant work-inprogress, forever revising my ideas and my ways of understanding. EC: Many of the poems are clearly about a gay man’s experience—“a man like me who looks at men”—but only two seem overtly political. How do you write poems with political content, without becoming polemical and losing the poem to the politics? TL: All expressions of desire are political insofar as they react — either through compliance or resistance — to existing social norms. A poem in which a man celebrates his sexual attraction to a woman is political: it reinforces a norm-based narrative that reflects patriarchal values. Now, if his attraction to that woman is somehow skewed (he might want her to dominate him, or his admission is fetishdriven) then that poem begins to articulate desire in ways that chafe against common assumptions about how a man should feel. Comparatively speaking, very few women poets — even today — write explicitly about their sexual desire for men. Some do, and do it very well. Sharon Olds comes to mind. But many readers — male and female — judge her harshly for this when they wouldn’t judge a man for speaking in such terms about a woman. Expressions of same-sex desire are even more politically charged, I think. Any man who admits his attraction to another man finds himself in a marginal position in the patriarchy. It’s 2010 and I still come across editors who won’t publish some of my poems because they are too “explicit.” I once wrote a sonnet that an editor rejected based upon its homosexual content. I remember the exact words: “Your sonnet is very impressive. But we’re trying to get our publication picked up by university libraries. Sorry.” (Radiant continues page 8)
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8 b (Radiant continued from page 7) What?! Are you kidding me with this? I eventually checked out the issue I’d been rejected from: there were plenty of “diverse” poems in there about race, but gay male sexuality was absent — it remains the “other” other. I guess what I’m saying is, representations of male homoeroticism are still pretty edgy in mainstream reading circles. The fact that almost one-third of this new collection of poems deals squarely with gay male desire is a risk. It’s political. It took me a long time to get to this place. I had to gain the confidence to allow myself to write about such things. Now a good poem — political or otherwise -- is a good poem. I once thought the tradition of political poetry in this country was pretty poor, but poet Martín Espada set me straight on that. He was correct in pointing out to me that the majority of the best political poems in this country have been suppressed. Since our conversation two years ago, I have looked more carefully at that suppressed tradition and discovered powerful voices I never knew existed. Edwin Rolfe is a good example. His commitment to Socialism got him blacklisted in the McCarthy era. He died demoralized and penniless, yet his poems are magnificent. Where was Rolfe when I was being “taught” poetry in high school? Why did I have to suffer the likes of Sarah Tisdale and Poe’s “Annabel Lee” when I could have been reading this man’s rage and fire? The same thing goes for Whitman. Much of his poetry has a political dimension, but you’d never know it the way students are introduced to him. All his political energy and challenges to the status quo are quietly edited out of excerpts and anthologies. On the other hand, I have read my share of bad political poems. EC: How did Radiant Losses come about? TL: After Tongue-Tied and Singing was
the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 433 • APRIL 2010 released in 2004, I began slowly amassing poems for a second book. I knew I wanted something different this time, some thematic and/or formal unity that would make Radiant Losses a book rather than just a collection. That solution came in what is serving as the center section of this three-part book. Called “Gestures and Prefaces,” each poem in this section is based on the Fibonacci number sequence that was initially developed by a mathematician named, obviously, Fibonacci. In terms of how I adopted his sequence, the number of syllables in any given line is the total of syllables of the two previous lines: so the pattern is 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13. As a result, the first few lines in each stanza are very brief, but they gradually expand and ultimately gush into a long, flowing line. For each poem the sequence is repeated three times in as many stanzas. The following example comes from the first two stanzas of a poem called “Character”: In a Chinese pictograph the word And looks like a hand with three outstretched fingers grasping at space, ready to seek or accept what is there within reach or beyond reach though still subject like the soft gold of a small bird to our admiration, like the stars to our yearning… While playing with this form, I was reading Marcel Proust, who is known for his dense, spiraling prose sentences. From him I realized I wanted to try carrying a single sentence across several lines. In fact, many of these 21-line poems are precisely
one sentence. Very few of them have traditional iambic rhythms, which pleases me. I was getting tired of writing blank verse and found it began to choke out new ways of thinking. Thankfully the Fibonacci form is so accommodating: just about any subject could be handled through it. Some of the poems are about visual art. Some about romance. Still more derive from bits of overheard conversations. In the course of a year, I wrote 65 of these, mostly at Spot Coffee, though a few were scribbled during the Jazz Festival, others jotted down during dull meetings or as I waited in offices. Because I knew the exact length of each line, most of the formal considerations were decided in advance. I wrote them in longhand on one of those unlined Moleskin notebooks. Man, that was fun! I am not terribly prolific by nature and usually my poems come very slowly. These, however, arrived in a burst of inspiration. Kevin Killian, one of the blurbists for the book, claims “the constraints of this work have released in [me] a concomitant flowering” and he’s right. I felt positively bardic writing them, as if I was a natural-born poet, which I’m not. Once the manuscript was done, I sent it to the editors of a book contest. Miraculously, it won. New Sins is the press. The editors there — Rane Arroyo and Glenn Sheldon (both important gay poets in their own right) — really helped me edit the work so that a good book became an even better one. They also allowed me to choose the cover art. Kathleen Farrell did the wonderfully strange collage on the front. I’m thrilled because some of the poems in Radiant Losses were written right alongside her as she was drawing in her sketchbooks. EC: Who are your mentors or influences? Which poets living or dead have mattered most to you and why? TL: I will try to be concise. From the 20th century, the poets who have had the greatest impact on my work are, perhaps, the Modern Greek poets, such as Cavafy,
Yannis Ritsos, George Thémelis, and Zísis Económou. I will speak in particular of the first two. Cavafy, as you know, is one of the last century’s greatest voices. He wrote many stirring homoerotic poems that, in the words of poet Scott Cairns, “manifest a fiery subterranean heat beneath the patina of the cool surface.” I simply love that sort of tension. With Ritsos, who is an even greater influence, I am endlessly fascinated by his rich political imagination, which is never overwhelmed by polemic. Almost all of his poems—and he wrote thousands—are rooted in concrete particulars, and they read like sly allegories or knotty riddles. With Ritsos, what’s absent is as important as what is present. American poets inspire me, too: Frank O’Hara is fabulous; Charles Reznikoff, a Jewish imagist who started the Objectivist movement, is routinely pleasurable to read; C. K. Williams, Stephen Dobyns, Carol Frost, Wallace Stevens… There are too many to count, really. In terms of the ancients, I find myself returning again and again to Ovid’s Metamorphoses and Homer’s epics. But since this is a GBTL publication and you probably want to hear about gay and lesbian poets, I will gladly offer that Dennis Cooper — who is most known for his hair-raising novels — is one of the greatest poets I’ve ever read. His poems are so vivid, lyrical, and formally controlled, and yet they almost always reference shocking expressions of violence and/or sex. Before there was Brett Easton Ellis there was Dennis Cooper, and the difference is instructive: one is a sensationalist who merely revels in pornography and violence, whereas the other is a visionary who leaves me feeling what Emily Dickinson once called “Zero at the Bone.” I love a lot of lesbian poets, too, including June Jordan, Joan Larkin, Linda Smuckler, and Olga Broumas — all very different in character and scope, and all worth a lot more attention than I can pay them here. ■
If you have a legal matter? Call the lawyer for you, your family and our community. Harry B. Bronson, Esq. 585.233.8789 harry@bronsonatlaw.com Wills Health Care Proxy Power of Attorney LGBT Partnership & Estate Planning Buying/Selling a House Name Changes Anti-Discrimination and Harassment Small Business Law Non-Profit Representation
APRIL 2010 • number 433 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet
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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 433 • APRIL 2010
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APRIL 2010 • number 433 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet “I highly recommend Chris Del Conte as a realtor to anyone who is looking for their first, fifth, or hundredth house. You will truly enjoy the experience.” – Angelo (Purchased home in Cobbs Hill area)
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The Empty Closet First Tuesdays
7-9pm: Education Sessions St Thomas’ Episcopal Church, 2000 Highland Avenue, Rochester 14618. Guest speakers present information followed by a group discussion.
Third Sundays
2-4pm: Support & Discussion Auditorium Theatre 5th Floor 875 East Main Street Rochester 14605 Facilitated discussion to provide support to attendees while engaging the group in a variety of topics. (Occurs at the same time as the youth and young adult support groups that occur in the Youth Center on the first floor of the building)
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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 433 • APRIL 2010
Gay Alliance News Youth Program: Queer College Tours Update! By Jess Cohen The newest program of Gay Alliance Youth Services, Queer College Tours, is off to a grand start! Thanks to the amazing support of patrons of local LGBTQ businesses, over $500 was raised to keep the college tours free/low-cost to youth. The tours started in February at SUNY Geneseo, continued on March 26 with a visit to Rochester Institute of Tech-
Youth The Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley offers Youth Services for Rochester area LGBTQ and allied youth ages 13-25.
nology and will go to SUNY Brockport on April 5. The youth attend a variety of events and info sessions, such as meet/ greets with campus pride organizations, a talk by Feministing.com founder Jessica Valenti, a drag show at RIT and meetings with CSTEP/McNair, Residential Life and Women & Gender Studies Programs. Many thanks to Allegra and AIDS Care for their support of this program, along with The Bachelor Forum, Equal Grounds, Outlandish, The Avenue Pub, 140 Alex Bar & Grill, and Muthers. ■
Check out what’s happening at: • www.gayalliance.org • or contact JessC@ gagv.us The Gay Alliance Love and Forgiveness Project presents:
Save the Date ★
The BIG Gay Prom
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Apollo Room of the Auditorium Center / The National Day of Silence brings attention to anti-LGBT namecalling, bullying and harassment in schools. / Later, Celebrate with DJ Chuck Argento
Strathallan Hotel
The Power of Forgiveness
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The National Day of Silence Friday, April 16
A Free Screening of:
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Strathallan Hotel / $10 / Drug & Alcohol Free / Ages 13-23 / Straight Allies Welcome / Music by DJ Chuck Argento / For more information: BigGayProm@gayalliance.org / 585 2448640, ext 13
What can we learn from the stories of forgiveness from the Amish, North Ireland, and Ground Zero? What does forgiveness mean to renowned Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh, Nobel peace Laureate Elie Wiesel and best-selling authors Thomas Moore (Care of the Soul), Marianne Williamson (The Gift of Change) and others? What does forgiveness me to you? Join us for an exploration of forgiveness as we mark National Crime Victims Rights Week.
Candice Doty, 21 and Wilnieca White, 23, were best dressed at the St. Patty’s Party held at the Youth Center on March 12!
6:30 pm Tuesday, April 20, 2010 Gay Alliance Community Engagement Room Auditorium Theater Bldg. 875 East Main Street Rochester, 14605
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Youth Center Happenings • Drop-in: Monday and Wednesday 2-6pm • Support Groups • Sunday 2pm-4pm ages 13-23 • Sunday 4:30pm-6pm ages 18-25 • Special Interest Programming • Transgender Youth • Arts and Crafts • Movies • Writing • Special Events • Youth Dances • Day of Silence • Big Gay Prom • Pool Table • LGBTQ Youth Library • Internet Access Adult Volunteers Needed Fun, friendly, safe adults are needed to volunteer their time and talents, providing positive role models, maybe sharing a talent or skill. Contact Scott Fearing, Outreach Coordinator for an application: ScottF@gagv.us 585-244-8640, ext. 14
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APRIL 2010 • number 433 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet
Program Notes Hate crimes statistics
Without the numbers, you’re not even a statistic. Victim Advocate Kelly Baumgartner has been busy crunching our numbers on anti-LGBT violence and LGBT intimate partner violence to submit to the National Coalition of AntiViolence Programs. Local statistics will be included in the Coalition’s annual national report to be released later this spring. The Coalition’s report is one of just a few sources for statistics on hate crimes and domestic violence in the LGBT community and is often cited in other studies and literature addressing these issues. This is one reason it is also important for Western New Yorkers to report violence when it happens -- call the AVP at 585-244-8640 or make a report online at www.gayalliance.org.
WXXI, StoryCorps include local voices
Last July local public media WXXI hosted StoryCorps, a national initiative to document everyday history and the unique stories of Americans in Rochester. At the time, the Gay Alliance was invited to work with the StoryCorps coordinators to be certain that LGBT stories were included. To date, three different interviews have aired, including one that was broadcast on National Public Radio. To hear the local interviews please visit http:// interactive.wxxi.org/storycorps.
Prom Seeks Support
The 2010 Big Gay Prom will occur on May 7, and plans are underway for the biggest and best ever. Program staff and youth volunteers are now gathering donations of cash and gifts to support this important youth event. If you are interested in supporting this event, please contact our Development Director at BrianD@ gayalliance or Youth Services Director at JessC@GayAlliance.org
Night at the Museum
InQueery, the new community education program from the Gay Alliance, has arranged its first session at the Memorial Art Gallery on May 27. The tour, “Depictions of Gender,” will examine artwork from the past three centuries with a focus on the depiction of gender, gender roles and gender expressions. The tour will cost $5 (free for current MAG members) and is limited to only 10 people, so pre-registration is required. For more information on this exciting opportunity, look for InQueery under the Education tab at www.gayalliance.org.
Keeping Safety in Mind
On Tuesday, May 4, from 7 to 9 p.m., Kelly Clark, Gay Alliance Community Safety Program Director will address “LGBT safety” as part of anti-violence efforts. PFLAG parents and friends should be knowledgeable and prompt their loved ones to be aware of risk. In this empowerment workshop, LGBT people and their allies will learn how to be safer while being out in the community and examine effective ways respond to overt threats, implied putdowns, bullying at school or work, or any kind of harassment. This FREE event is co-sponsored by PFLAG and InQueery. And will be held at in the lower level of St. Thomas’ Episcopal Church 2000 Highland Ave., corner of South Winton ■
Q
Inquiring minds want to know...
InQueery Community Learning
“I am so glad I came” By Scott Fearing “I am so glad I came.” These words were written on the program feedback form of a recent InQueery event. Someone else simply wrote, “This was a lot of fun, and I learned a lot.” These comments are the reason that the Gay Alliance launched the InQueery Program. We wanted to provide LGBT and allied individuals with fun and informative things to do. InQueery is about learning and about socializing. Like traditional “Adult Education,” InQueery sessions are not offered for “credit,” but for personal and professional development and the experience of learning in community. InQueery classes are taught by people with no particular expertise, and not necessarily a degree. The topics are broad reaching, and most likely will have something to do with topics related to LGBT people, but not necessarily. Our recent class on Basic Volleyball Skills is a good example of a session, the topic of which was not queer, but the event sure was. The rainbow flag flying at HotShots got a lot of attention, and with the sand court crowded with LGBT and straight participants, the focus of the evening was on having fun in an inclusive environment. Most of the InQueery classes are free, but some will have material or ticket fees connected with them. For instance, coming up in May we have an InQueery tour at the Memorial Art Museum. The ticket for the tour is $5, but that includes your museum admission for the night. A number of other special tours and tastings are in the planning, so keep your eyes open. InQueery is always looking for people to lead sessions in subjects as diverse as history, theatre, crafts, painting, cooking, queer theory, creative writing, computer skills, activist training -- if you have a skill, and want to teach others, InQueery can be your opportunity to reach-n-teach LGBT and allied learners. For information on how to lead a class or about upcoming classes, simply look for InQueery under the Education tab at www.gayalliance.org. Here you will also find a quick calendar of upcoming sessions, class descriptions, and the form to submit to teach an InQueery Class. InQueery: because inquiring minds want to know.
A Gender by Any Other Name: On Gender, Pronouns and an Upcoming InQueery By Laura McSpadden The first time that I walked into the offices of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley was shortly after my graduation from college: I was going to meet with Susan Jordan, the editor of The Empty
Closet, in the hopes that I could volunteer as a reporter and photographer for this fine publication. During the interview, I asked whether or not The Empty Closet had a policy regarding the usage of gender-neural pronouns: at the time, there was not. This is something that we are working on improving. It is true that a majority of people, whether cisgender or transsexual, are able to identity with either masculine or feminine pronouns. However, not all of us are, and if The Empty Closet and the Gay Alliance don’t make a stand for the androgynous, transgender, genderqueer, bi gender, intersex and pangender people in our community, then who in Greater Rochester will? You may notice the usage of the gender-neutral pronouns ze and hir in some of the articles in this issue as well as upcoming issues. These are not typos: they are a conscious step towards greater inclusivity, and it is a step that means a great deal to me and many other members of the trans community. As far back as I can remember, I’ve engaged in a kind of intuitive flirtation with different gender identities and questioning of gender stereotypes. Ever since early childhood, I have been the most comfortable within a realm of fluidity. For instance, one day would be spent digging in the garden and tending the compost pile, reveling in the sweat and the grime of manual labor. Then I would transition effortlessly into the calm domesticity of being barefoot in the kitchen, chopping herbs and braising vegetables, before spending the next day tromping through the halls of my Midwestern school in Doc Martins, a lacy skirt and baggy flannel. The thing about gender that always seemed the most unnatural to me was the assumption of stagnancy: I have always experienced and expressed my gender as a polyrhythmic dance, not as a location where one is born and stays in for an entire life span. I’m guessing you want a label for my gender: despite all the politically-correct assertions otherwise, Americans do love a good label, and still tend to believe that a thing labeled is a thing understood. I identify strongly as female. And as male. And as something that is neither and beyond such concepts. If you must, you can call me genderqueer: if your sensibilities are offended by the beautifully powerful final syllable, pangender works too. Throughout my entire life, I have found inspiration in the lives of literary characters who I interpreted as either trans or genderqueer: Valentine Michael Smith in Stranger in a Strange Land, Dagny Taggart in Atlas Shrugged, Jermaine in Push, Orlando in Orlando, etc. And no, I do not believe the authors intended such identities to be inferred in all of those characters. But that wasn’t the important part for me: the important thing was the permission I found within the characters to explore who I truly am. And yet, I also found a gross and severe deficiency within the literary refuges to which I ran: it is one that many members of the LGBT community can relate to to differing degrees, the Pronoun Problem. Even though English is not nearly as gendered as the Romance languages, it still definitely has its limitations when it comes down to trans-inclusivity. Speakers and writers of English are placed in the unpleasant situation of having to select an inevitably inaccurate pronoun with which to signify individuals to
whom they are referring, even when that individual’s gender is either not known or else known to be transgender, intersex, bigender, genderqueer, and/or pangender. It can thus be said that the limitations of our language have, in this way, forced us to lie. However, it is no longer necessary to signify every individual who is written or spoken about with a gender-specific signifier, as gender-neutral pronouns have been coined and used widely within the queer and trans communities. My pronouns-of-choice are ze and hir, some of the most widely used gender-neutral pronouns. I know of other people who prefer a singular they, them and their. Regardless, it is refreshing to know that there are options for communicating in a trans-inclusive way. For those amongst you who are interested in learning more about genderqueer issues and trans-inclusive language, I would like to urge you to attend the upcoming InQueery on the subject, “Moving Towards Trans-Inclusive Language: What We Say, How We Think.” The InQueery will take place on Saturday, April 24 from 4-6 p.m. in the Gay Alliance’s Community Room on the first floor of the Auditorium Center (875 E Main St., 14605). Further details can be seen at http://www.gayalliance.org/education/inqueery.html. For further thoughts from outside the gender binary, keep your eyes open for columns by me in future editions of The Empty Closet. “Gender is the poetry each of us makes out of the language we are taught.” (Leslie Feinberg, Transliberation)
How youth view the world By Jessica Cohen Some time ago, I asked Gay Alliance Youth participants finish this sentence: “I live in a world where...” The responses I received were plentiful in both content and emotion. How do lgbtq kids view their world? Here is a sampling of their thoughts: “I live in a world where my parents can accept who I am, but my government wants to ignore me.” “I live in a world where homosexuality isn’t fully accepted by teenagers, and at the school teenagers go to, homosexuals are targeted.” “I live in a world where people care more about material possessions rather than caring about their fellow man.” “I live in a world where ‘freedom’ is a buzzword used by those who wish to suppress it. I live in a world where ‘liberty’ is a meaningless novelty talked of in grand speeches, but never realized. I live in a world of opportunity, for the future is shaped by the impressions we leave. I live in a world of hope.” “I live in a world where perfect is dangerous.” “I live in a world where people are not the same. They are similar amongst their differences and they are either bound to someone or something.” “I live in a world where everyone’s apathetic.” “I live in a world where I am unsure if I can mention who I am interested in, for fear that whoever I am talking to might want to hurt me for being who I am.” “I live in a world where there is... too much hate and discomfort for teens, gay and straight, in the schools.” “I live in a world where diversity is the new beginning.” What kind of world do YOU live in? ■
The Gay Alliance 875 E. Main St., Suite 500 Rochester, NY 14605 • Hours Mon.-Fri., 9 am-5 pm • Phone: (585) 244-8640 • Fax: (585) 244-8246 • Website: www.gayalliance.org Empty Closet Phone: (585) 244-9030 • Empty Closet Fax: (585) 244-8246 • Empty Closet Advertising: (585) 244-9030 • Empty Closet E-mail: emptycloset@gagv.us Board President Tom Ferrarese • Executive Director Sue Cowell • Administrative Assistant Laura McSpadden • Program Director Scott Fearing Empty Closet Editor Susan Jordan • Graphics Jim Anderson • Community Safety Kelly Clark • Development Brian Doran Victim Advocate Kelly Baumgartner Youth Services Coordinator Jessica Cohen • CampusOut Assistant Mariam Mull • Outreach Coordinator Jeanne Gainsburg • AmeriCorps Member Sean Soper Youth Group: Youth Center, 1st Floor - Ages 13-23 Sundays 2-4 pm; Ages 18-25 Sundays 4:30-6pm • http://youth.gayalliance.org for after school schedule and special events. The Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley is a non-profit agency, dedicated to cultivating a healthy, inclusive environment where lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans-gender (LGBT) people are safe, thriving and enjoying equal rights. We are a coalition of individuals and groups working to empower LGBT people, to affirm their identities, and to create an atmosphere where the diversity of our community can thrive both collectively and separately. We educate and advocate for civil rights for all and for the eradication of homophobia.
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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 433 • APRIL 2010
Resources Aids
Free testing for HIV exposure is available from New York State Department of Health: call Rochester Area Regional Hotline at (585) 423-8081, or 1-800-962-5063 for pay phones or calls outside Rochester. Deaf or hearing impaired people should call (585)423-8120 (TDD.) New Rapid HIV Testing now available — test results in 30-40 minutes! Statewide information can be obtained by calling 1-800-541-AIDS. Other organizations which provide AIDS-related services are as follows: AIDS Care AIDS Care, the leading provider of HIV/AIDS services in Rochester and the Finger Lakes, was formed by the January 2010 merger of AIDS Community Health Center and AIDS Rochester. On-site services include: HIV testing and limited STD screenings, Primary and HIV Specialty Medical Care, Pharmacy, Behavioral Wellness, Case Management, Prevention and Education, Clinical Trials, Dental Screenings, Hepatitis C Co-Infection Clinic, Housing Services, Laboratory, Nutrition Services, Peer Interaction, Smoking Cessation, Substance Use and Addiction Counseling, Support Groups, Transportation Services, Treatment Adherence Counseling, and Women’s Health Care. AIDS Care is also a leader in providing services and education to members of the LGBT community. Contact Information: Website: www. acRochester.org. Main Office: 259 Monroe Ave., Rochester, NY 14607; Main Phone: 585-5457200 - Health Services After Hours: 585-2583363; Case Management After Hours (Lifeline): 585-275-5151; Fax: 585-244-6456. Finger Lakes Office: 605 W. Washington St., Geneva, NY 14456, 315-781-6303. Southern Tier Office: 122 Liberty St. P O Box 624, Bath, NY 14810 607-776-9166. The Health Outreach Project: 416 Central Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; 585-454-5556. Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley provides referrals to physicians and service agencies. (585) 244-8640; www.gayalliance.org Victory Alliance University of Rochester Medical Center. One of several research sites worldwide that comprise the HIV Vaccine Trials Network. Rochester site conducts research vaccine studies sponsored by National Institutes of Health (NIH) in the attempt to discover a vaccine that may one day prevent HIV infection or AIDS. Imagine a world without AIDS, learn how you can help create it. 585-7562329; www.vaccineunit.org. Center for Health and Behavioral Training of Monroe County 853 Main St., Rochester 14611. Collaboration of Monroe County Health Department and U.R. Provides year-round training in prevention and management of STDs, HIV, TB and related issues, such as domestic violence and case management. (585)753-5382 v/tty. Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/ Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Tollfree Helpline: 1-866-600-6886. Offers confidential HIV testing and information. When you make your appointment, be sure to ask about our sliding scale fees. No one is turned away for lack of ability to pay. Rochester Area Task Force on AIDS A collection of agencies providing a multiplicity of resources and services to the upstate New York community. Their offices are located through the Finger Lakes Health Systems Agency, which also provides medical literature and newspaper clippings, as well as demographic and statistical data for use in developing health care services. (585) 461-3520. MOCHA Center HIV prevention focus for men who have sex with men (MSM) in the minority community. Support groups, one on one peer education, safer sex workshops, referral services, buddy testing. 107 Liberty Pole Way. 420-1400. Monroe County Health Department at 855 W. Main St., offers testing and counseling for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. (585)753-5481. Strong Memorial Hospital provides a complete range of HIV medical care, including access to experimental treatment pro-
tocols, and HIV testing. Also provides individual and group psychotherapy. Training of health care professionals also available. Infectious Disease Clinic, (585) 275-0526. Department of Psychiatry, (585) 275-3379. AIDS Training Project, (585) 275-5693. Planned Parenthood of Rochester and Genesee Valley offers testing and information (585) 546 2595. Rural HIV testing anonymous and confidential, in Alleghany, Livingston, Ontario, Schuyler, Seneca, Steuben, Wayne or Yates Counties, call 1-800-962-5063. Action Front Center (Action for a Better Community.) Provides HIV prevention education and case management services. Training and technical assistance to service providers. Resource library open to public. All services free and confidential. Multicultural and bilingual staff. Jearald Noble, program manager. 33 Chestnut St., second floor. Hours 8:30-5 pm, Monday-Friday. 262-4330; fax 262-4572. Free anonymous HIV testing on walk-in basis, Tuesdays, Wednesdays 1-4 pm, provided through NYSDOH. Thursdays 1-4 pm at Aenon Baptist Church, 175 Genesee St. Anthony L. Jordan Health Center Prevention & Primary Care Program Provides Medical Case Management, Mental Health, Primary Care, HIV Counceling and Testing using the Orasure Rapid Test, Education presentations, and access to other Jordan services. Prevention & Primary Care is a walk-in program; no appointments necessary. Office hours: Mon.– Fri., 8:30am– 5 pm: extended hours on Monday until 8 pm. (585) 423-2879; fax (585) 423-2876. Website: www.jordanhealth.org. For more information, call Program Director Patrick M. Trevor, (585) 423-2879. CDC National STD and AIDS Hotline 1-800-CDC-INFO (800-232-4636) 24 hours a day. TTY service: 1-888-232-6348. E-mail address: cdcinfo@cdc.gov. Fair Housing Enforcement Project of Monroe County 585-325-2500; 1-800-669-9777. Deals with housing discrimination on basis of race, orientation, HIV status, etc. Public Interest Law Office of Rochester 80 St. Paul St., Suite 701. Free legal services to HIV positive persons, families. Spanish bilingual advocates available. All civil cases except divorce; no criminal cases. Ask to speak to someone in PILOR. 454-4060. Evergreen Health Services, Buffalo Primary care, HIV and family care, HIV testing and counseling. (716) 847-0328 Westside Health Services Brown Square Health Center, 175 Lyell Ave. (2546480); Woodward health Center, 480 Genesee St. (436-3040). HIV/AIDS services, support, more. McCree McCuller Wellness Center at Unity Health's Connection Clinic (585) 368-3200. 89 Genesee St., Bishop Kearney Bldg., 3rd floor. Full range of servcies, regardless of ability to pay. Caring, confidential and convenient. Catholic Charities AIDS Services A multicultural and bi-lingual staff providing services to a diversity of people infected and affected with HIV.Intensive home-based case management for all ages; a clinical crisis manager; a child/ adolescent case worker; transitional case management for children and family members going through bereavement; recreational and support groups for children and teens, and camping experiences including Camp SOAR. We coordinate HOPWA (Housing Opportunities for People with AIDS) short term emergency assistance with rent/ mortgage/utility payments and limited subsidized housing. 1945 E. Ridge Rd., Suite 24, Rochester NY 14622. (585) 339-9800. Huther Doyle 360 East Ave., Rochester 14604. Offers drug, alcohol prevention, education, treatment. Risk Reduction Plus Team offers servcies to HIV positive and those at risk through substance use. Programs include outreach, transitional case management, free cconfidential testing (OraQuick Rapid Testing). NYS Dep't. of Health offers free on-site confidential and anonymous testing.
(585)325-5100, M-F 8 am-9 pm, www.hutherdoyle.com. Geneva Community Health 601 W. Washington St., Geneva. Provides HIV testing, HIV specialty and primary care for residents of Ontario and surrounding counties. Mon.-Thurs. 9 am-5 pm; Fridays 9 am-noon. 315-781-8448.
family Rochester Gay Moms’ Group Support group for lesbian mommies and wannabe mommies in Rochester and surrounding areas. Subscribe: RochesterGayMoms-subscribe@yahoogroups.com. Pride & Joy Families In Rochester, contact Karen Goulet, kgoulet@ PrideandJoyFamilies.org or 244-8640 x 40. Gay Fathers Group Meets first and third Tuesday, 6:30-8:30pm, GAGV Community Center, 875 E. Main St. Lesbian & Gay Family Building Project Claudia E. Stallman, Project Director, Ferre Institute, Inc. 124 Front St., Binghampton, NY 13905, Phone: (607) 724-4308; Fax: (607) 724-8290; E-mail: LesGayFamBldg@aol.com: Web: www.PrideAndJoyFamilies.org Families Joined by Love Books and resources for LGBT families. www.familiesjoinedebylove.org. Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) PFLAG’s threefold mission: supporting parents and family members in coming out process; educating the community; advocating on behalf of LGBT family members. Regular meetings open to family members, friends: first Tuesday potluck supper, 6-8 pm, St. Thomas Episcopal Church, corner Winton and Highland; third Sunday support and business meeting, 2-4 pm, Nopper Room, fifth floor, Auditorium Center, 875 E. Main St. PFLAG@gagv.us; 585244-8640 x27.
LGBT health
For a list of LGBT-friendly and competent health and human service providers in the Rochester and Finger Lakes area, visit the resource directory page(s) at www.everybodysgood.com. These pages are compiled and managed by AIDS Care. If you are a provider, or know of one, who would like to be included, contact them through the website or contact Erik Libey directly at (585) 210-4192.
Women HEALTH:
Highland Hospital Breast Imaging Center 500 Red Creek Drive, Rochester 14623; 585487-3300. Specializing in breast health, diagnostic breast imaging and treatment and mammography outreach and education. Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester 840 University Ave.; 585-473-8177; www.bccr. org; email: info@bccr.org. Breast Cancer Coalition provides support services that include Brown Bag Fridays: an informal discussion group that meets weekly from 12:00-1:30; Breast Cancer 101 and 201: programs designed to help those coping with a recent breast cancer diagnosis and those coping with an advanced breast cancer diagnosis; Sister Sak: a program that addresses the issues facing young women with breast cancer; and the Advanced Breast Cancer Support Group to support women living with metastatic breast cancer. The Breast Cancer Coalition also provides information about breast cancer, a lending library, and a monthly educational program. All BCCR programs and support services are free.
Monroe County Women’s Health Partnership 111 Westfall Rd., Rochester NY 14692; (585)274-6978. Comprehensive breast cancer screening services for uninsured and underinsured women. Elizabeth Wende Breast Clinic 170 Sawgrass Drive. 442-8432. Dr. Wende Logan-Young and an all-woman staff provide mammograms. SHARE: Self Help for Women with Breast or Ovarian Cancer NYS Hotline: 1-866-53SHARE or 1-866-5374273. AIDS Rochester Women’s Health Outreach 259 Monroe Ave. ARI has services for HIV positive women and others in the lesbian community. 442-2220. AIDS Community Health Clinic 259 Monroe Ave. 244-9000; TTY (585)4619202. HIV and Primary care medical services for HIV positive women, their negative partners and family members. OB/GYN, HIV pre-test and post-test counseling. Confidential or free HIV testing. Alternatives for Battered Women 232-7353; TTY 232-1741. Shelter (women only), counseling. Lesbians, gay men welcome. GAGV Anti Violence Project 585-244-8640 ext 17. For women and men. Victim Resource Center of Wayne County Newark N.Y. Hotline 800-456-1172; office (315)331-1171; fax (315)331-1189. Mary Magdalene House Women's outreach center for HIV positive women and women at risk. 291 Lyell Ave. Open Mon-Fri. 6:30-9:30 pm 458-5728. Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Toll-free Helpline: 1-866-600-6886. Planned Parenthood has led the way in providing high quality, affordable reproductive health care since 1916. Our experienced and compassionate medical staff will listen to your concerns and answer your questions in a warm, welcoming atmosphere. All our services are confidential. We accept most insurances; including Medicaid. You may even qualify for low- to no-cost family planning services. When you make your appointment, be sure to ask about our sliding scale fees. No one is turned away for lack of ability to pay.
POLITICAL:
National Organization for Women (Greater Rochester NOW) PO Box 93196; (585)234-7019. E-mail: info@rochesternow.org Web page: http:// www.rochesternow.org.
CULTURAL:
Rochester Women’s Community Chorus 234-4441. (See Ongoing calendar).
ONLINE: WOWcny: e-mail: WOWcny@aol.com Rochester NY Lesbians; groups.aol.com/rochstrlesbians
GENERAL:
Women’s Resource Center YWCA, 175 N. Clinton Ave. 546-7740. Color Outside the Line Crew Contact Jackie Williams, 482-4945. Check our monthly and ongoing Calendars and the Gay Groups section for more woman-centered groups and events, and call the GaySource Infoline for referrals, at 244-8640 or see www. gayalliance.org. And send us your information!
You Deserve To Have Your Marriage Blessed & Celebrated Rev. Denise Donato • revdenise@rochester.rr.com • 585-329-0895 14 years experience preparing and celebrating gay & straight marriages
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APRIL 2010 • number 433 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet
Groups Butch Femme Connection The Rochester Butch-Femme Connection supper club will have two events in April 2010. On April 3 we will meet at Monroe Diner on Monroe Ave. in Pittsford at 7 p.m. On April 17, we will meet at Wintonaire on North Winton Road in Rochester at 7 p.m. For further information on the Connection, email DressyFemme@ aol.com or call Kerry/Max at (585) 2887208. We now have a Facebook page -- check out Rochester Butch Femme Connection!
Colage (Children of Lesbian and Gay Parents) Colage Rochester plans a kick off meeting/fun/dinner for April 11, for kids of LGBT parents aged 8 and up. The event is 5-7 p.m. at the GAGV Youth Center, first floor, 875 E. Main St. RSVP to Pride & Joy Families, 585-2448649 ext 37 or kgoulet@prideandjoyfamilies.org. For information about the national group, see www.colage.org.
Dignity Integrity Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth and the light.” Dignity-Integrity of Rochester welcomes you to come to the light of worship and fellowship with other gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Christians. We alternate Episcopal and Catholic worship each week at 5 p.m. at St Luke’s/ St Simon’s Church in downtown Rochester at 17 S. Fitzhugh St. All are welcome to attend. We especially welcome those who would like to celebrate with us on Easter Sunday on April 4, and those who may not have attended church in a while, and are looking for a new place of worship. Come celebrate the Easter season with us as you renew your faith and connect with the creator. Services for this month are as follows. April 4 at 5 p.m.: Easter Sunday. Episcopal Eucharist with music, with the Reverend Phil Schaefer presiding. April 11 at 5 p.m.: Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word with Gloria Ulterino presiding. April 18 at 5 p,m,: Quiet Episcopal Eucharist with Reverend Don Hill presiding. April 25 at 5 p.m.: Prayers to start the week, followed by a “Gifts of the Earth” Potluck supper.
EMPIRE BEARS Spring is here at last! Time to get out of the cave and have some fun. Come to Bearnight at the Forum on Saturday, April 3. The theme is LeatherBears, so wear your hides proudly. The following weekend, we’ll host a potluck at the GAGV Youth Center on the 10th. The theme is new recipes, but we don’t care whose recipe it is. Break out one of Gramma’s that you’ve never tried before. Or be daring, and get something off the internet. We’ll be the guinea pigs! We’re planning a game night and a brunch later in the month. Check out our website at www.empirebears.org for information. New members are always welcome. Membership is only $10, and you can do it online. We’ll put you in our yahoogroup, and you’ll get our updates and reminders. Members are always looking for friends to go to dinner, a movie, bowling, walking, and lots of other activities. Don’t forget, we’re at the Wintonaire on Winton, between Atlantic and East
The name is new, but the purpose remains the same. Formerly called Atlantic Five O the group will now be know as Just Us Guys. Since its origin in the mid 1990s, the group has provided for a routine monthly gathering of men for the purpose of extending friendships and contacts in a social gathering environment. Why the name change: many no longer identify with the TV series “Hawaii Five O” and the Atlantic Avenue meeting spot is in the past. Furthermore, the group now welcomes men of all ages to enjoy the opportunities and friendships that develop in a social setting. Gatherings are held on the second Tuesday of the month at 6:30 p.m. at AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. Potluck dinners are scheduled quarterly. The next Potluck will be on June 8 at 6:30 p.m. in the AIDS Care dining area. Plans for the April 13 gathering include a movie at The Little, followed by desserts and beverage at a nearby location. For more information about the group and the movie event, contact Ron at 2232629.
of us. How we age, the positives of aging, how we take care of ourselves, our trials and tribulations with health care and senior living facilities, who will take care of us when we are no longer able to do so ourselves, are all realities of aging. Keeping active, sharing our stories, advocating for our rights, keeping ourselves fit and healthy are some of the challenges we face as we grow older. In future columns I will be discussing some of these issues and celebrations. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard the term “senior” or “elder” used with negative intonation. “Oh I can’t join Rainbow SAGE, I’m not a senior,” when in fact the person standing in front of me clearly belies that fact, or the person may not be of a certain age, but clearly is not looking forward to aging gracefully. The fact is clear; many of us do not want to admit to aging. Which leads me directly to the topic of “ageism,” also called age discrimination. Ageism is defined (Wikipedia) as stereotyping of and discrimination against individuals or groups because of age. It is a set of beliefs, attitudes, norms, and values used to justify age-based prejudice and discrimination. While in future columns I will discuss ageism as it affects older adults, it should be noted and remembered that ageism also can exist in our youth community, who often feel disenfranchised. We should all be aware of it! Ageism and ageist remarks can be upfront, such as discrimination because of ageism in the workplace, i.e., “too old for this position,” or more subtle. A casual remark, such as, “Wow, you look good for your age,” or “You look so young, you can’t be 60,” (which I get a lot! Smile), while taken as a compliment by many of us, can be looked upon as an ageist remark. Like there is something wrong when an individual does look their age, whatever that means. In our LGBT community, where being young, vibrant, and buffed is looked upon as the ideal, examples of ageism can be seen every day. So next time someone compliments you on your age, whether you are 30 or 0+, while accepting it as a compliment, perhaps a great response could be, “I am happy and content to look my age!” Aging can be beautiful for many of us, but not everyone is as fortunate. We as a community can make it better for everyone. See you next time.
Rainbow SAGE: “Senior” is not a dirty word
Rainbow SAGE: Calling all Euchre Players
Main, every Wednesday night at 6 for supper. See you there!
Gay Square Dance Group – The Lilac Squares Our newest class is progressing along quickly. We’ve danced at other clubs and are getting the word out. The Lilac Squares meets each Monday at the Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church located on 740 Marshall Rd., Rochester, New York 14624, at 7 p.m. We are a lively and friendly group made up of singles, couples, men, and women, young and young at heart; when we aren’t learning new calls, we are telling stories, jokes, and lively anecdotes. We usually learn a couple of new calls each night, and if we make mistakes, our caller will review the calls for us. We are a very easy going group, and missteps happen. There will someone there to guide you to where you need to be. The night is for fun and having a good time. For more information, call Matt 5205358, or e-mail mfleig@rochester.rr.com. Hope to see you soon.
JUST US GUYS
By Tony Perri Five dollar tickets at The Little, discounts galore at many food and entertainment establishments, acquired wisdom (hopefully) and the ability to let things go a little easier. These are just a few of the privileges of getting older. So what’s wrong with aging? Why are so many in our community in denial about this fact of life? Many of us are privileged to age gracefully, many of us are not, and many of us are not given the opportunity to reach this stage of life. The alternative to aging is not something most of us want to think about. So why are so many in denial about this wonderful stage of life? As a member of Rainbow SAGE (Service and Advocacy for GLBT Elders) of the Genesee Valley and active in Rochester’s LGBT community for many years, I would like to take the opportunity to discuss issues and celebrations in our LGBT Elder community. Rainbow SAGE has over 110 members of all ages. There is no age requirement for membership. Our organization is currently in discussion with GAGV concerning affiliation with them. We believe that affiliating with GAGV will bring wider attention to services offered to LGBT elders, including social activities, as well as increase our ability to advocate for our community. Aging is not something we always like to think about, but it is a reality for many
By Ginny Dekin Rainbow SAGE (formerly Rainbow Seniors) is sponsoring its second annual euchre tournament this spring. Save the date: Sunday, May 23 at 2 p.m. The location is Temple B’rith Kodesh at 2131 Elmwood Ave. The temple is accessible to all and has adequate parking. No partner is needed to play, as this is an individually scored tournament with prize money for first place -- $100; second place -- $50; and third place -- $25. Free snacks and water will be available. To register, please call Ginny at 585473-4765. The deadline for registration and paying the $15 fee is Wednesday, May 19. This is a great chance for you to meet new people of all ages. We look forward to seeing you May 23.
Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus The Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus would like to extend thanks and gratitude to all those who attended and participated in their spring concert “Gettin’ Lucky” at Hochstein on March 20. The show went off wonderfully and the voices were amazing, but would anyone expect anything less? Congratulations to those cast for the RGMC’s upcoming June production of “U.S.S Metaphor”: Jeff Fowler, Gary Keleher, Ron Herman (of the Off-Mon-
roe Players), Dennis Rosenbaum (of the Rochester Oratorio Society and The Mercury Opera), Terry Quataert, B. Smith (of the Off-Monroe Players), P. Johnstone, Jorge Yacila and Raul Torres. The RGMC would also like to invite everyone to their “Anything Goes” Spring Gala fundraising event. Where: One Restaurant at 1 Ryan Alley in Rochester. When: Sunday, May 2 from 4-8 p.m. Tickets: Individual: $35, Couple: $50. Sponsor Levels: Mezzanine: $250$499 Dress Circle: $500-$999 Orchestra: $1000-$1499 Benefactor: $1500 and higher Please RSVP by April 9. For more information please contact Todd L. Perkins at 585-473-1127.
Rochester GLBTQI Motorcycle Group Our last meet at Equal Grounds was a success. Our newest member showed up, and had a great time. Our group is made up of newbies, people who put on a lot of mileage, and long time bikers. We are all joined, apart from the obvious, by our sport, and helping each other. A real nice group of people! For more information, look at our Yahoo group profile: RochesterGLBTQIbikers. You can also call Bob at 4781565, or e-mail bmdaniels@frontiernet. net. Let’s ride with pride!
Rochester Rams M.C. Once again, the Rams are hosting our annual Can-Am weekend in May. It will be a week-long celebration of cross-border leather brotherhood. The weekend kicks off with the Rams’ monthly Leather-Fetish bar night on Saturday, May 15 from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. at the Forum. The wonderful men of Spearhead from Toronto Ontario will be hosting CanAm barnight on Saturday, May 22 from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m., also at the Forum. Bar nights are public, but there are special events for Can Am weekend. If you’d like to attend, please check out the CanAm link on our website. The Rochester Rams M.C. is Rochester New York’s foremost gay motorcycle and leather club, as well as being one of the oldest clubs of its type in the country. All who are interested in the leather club scene are invited to check us out. Our general meeting is open to the public and we meet the Wednesday before bar night at 7:30 p.m. Meetings are held at our home bar, the Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. Our next general meetings will be held on April 14, May 12 and June 16. For more info, visit our website: www. rochesterrams.com.
Stepping OUT: Unmasking BDSM (Episode One) By Jeanne Gainsburg If you are old enough to remember the old television program “Batman”, starring Adam West, that aired during the late 1960s, you’ll know that the show always ran in double episodes. In the first episode, the plot would take shape, Batman and Robin would identify the villain (i.e. The Penguin, The Riddler, or possibly Catwoman, in her kinky skin tight leather outfit), then the Dynamic Duo would enter his or her evil lair. It would always be a trap (they never learned), and by the end of episode 1, Batman, and usually Robin too, would be in some kind of precarious predicament involving ropes, chains, scalding vats of liquid and/or saw blades. Thinking back, I realize that this was probably my introduction into the excitement of bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism (BDSM), and to be honest, it was kind of hot. The producers would sadistically leave you hanging for 24 hours, until Episode 2, which
16 b (Stepping Out continued from page 15) always brought a great fight scene, with a “POW!” and a “BAM!” and a “ZONK!” And the Dynamic Duo would once again save the day. Last month I visited the Rochester Kink Society and I learned so much about the BDSM community that I found I could not do justice to the subject in one small article. So, in the grand tradition of the Batman TV series cliff-hanger, this article will be presented to you in two parts. And yes, I most definitely will leave you hanging on the edge of your seat, waiting desperately for the thrilling conclusion. Only you will have to wait not a single day, but an entire month! Ha! Ha! Ha! (Evil laugh)
This episode begins about two years ago, when I was invited by a Gay Alliance Speakers Bureau member to visit the Rochester Kink Society (RKS). I hesitated for three reasons. First of all, the purpose of my “Stepping OUT” project is to visit and learn about LGBT community groups. RKS, although extremely welcoming, is not an LGBT organization. Second, I did not want people reading my article to associate “kink” exclusively with “gay.” The third reason I hesitated was that I was NERVOUS! Whips and chains?!! Suspension and hot wax?!! Kinky Knitting Night?!! Really? OK, admittedly, that last one didn’t sound so bad. Over the past few years, however, as I visited other groups that were not specifically LGBT (for example, Rated F, the new feminist group) and as I learned more about the realities of BDSM, I realized that it really does resonate with the work that we do at the Gay Alliance. BDSM and kink are about freedom, love, and the right to express ourselves. Many of the community members are closeted, due to other people’s ignorance and discrimination, and, as it turns out, it’s not just a bedroom issue. Sound familiar? These new revelations left me with only one excuse, I was nervous. Clearly it was time to get past that. Hadn’t I just played nude volleyball with the Rochester ROMANS? What was I afraid of? I wrote an e-mail to RKS proposing a visit and I boldly hit the “send” button. (Oh OK, I admit it, first I made sure that my wild and crazy friend Pam would go with me. The new Dynamic Duo?) The response I got from Kat, Chairperson and Event Coordinator, was positive. First, some RKS board members wanted to meet Pam and me at one of their social events. This is the first step to becoming a member. RKS gets to meet you, they make sure that you understand what the group is all about and they get a chance to explain their rules and policy of confidentiality. It also gives the potential member a chance to ask questions in a comfortable environment and make sure that RKS is what they are looking for. Pam and I chose to attend a “social,” which is in the evening at a local pub, rather than a “munch,” which is lunch at a local diner, only because I was pretty sure I was going to need to have a drink in my hand. As it turned out, the situation was relaxed and comfortable and the beer was unnecessary. Todd, the RKS Vice
the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 433 • APRIL 2010 Chairperson, welcomed us, chatted with us about the group and introduced us to some of the members. He clearly adores this group and he talked about the members as if they were family. There were about 30 people at the social that evening. It was a mix of men and women chatting, eating and laughing. Dress was casual, mostly jeans and sweatshirts. Truly, the only way to describe it was “normal.” Todd told us that there are about 110 members of RKS. Approximately 30 are members of their subgroup, The Next Generation (TNG), which is a group for people ages 18-35. I asked Todd about the ratio of straight people to LGBT people at RKS. He said he believes members are about five percent lesbian and gay and about five percent transgender, but the number of women who identify as bisexual in this group is about 80 percent! I asked how open the group would be to a “guy on guy scene” (the word used for a BDSM setting and activity) and the response was positive. RKS is an open and welcoming group. Todd told us when we left that Pam and I should look at the RKS calendar and e-mail him with an event that we would like to attend. Pam and I chose the Skin2Skin & Paw2Paw workshop, followed by a “Play Party” in the dungeon. The workshop was about techniques for bare-hand S/M play presented by a well known dominant or “Dom” in the BDSM community, Panther, who was being flown in from the San Francisco area just for the event. A few days before our RKS visit, Laura McSpadden, Gay Alliance Office Administrator, led an InQueery class called “BDSM: A Guide for Lay people, Wellwishers, and Newbies,” which examined the most common myths about BDSM and kink. Pam and I attended, hoping the presentation would help us avoid any unnecessary kink faux pas. The presentation was excellent and informative. (Note: This presentation will be repeated in early summer. Watch for it on our InQueery schedule at www.gayalliance.org.) I learned, among other things, that most activities relating to BDSM were considered pathological until 1994, when they were removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). The behaviors now must “cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning,” in order for it to be considered an illness. Consensual BDSM activities that are pleasurable to all parties involved are now considered healthy sexual behavior. I also learned that accessing medical care can often be an issue for people who practice BDSM. Because of requirements and reporting policies that medical personnel must follow regarding bruises and wounds on patients, people practicing BDSM may choose not to seek medical attention for themselves when they need help for other, unrelated issues. This unfortunate situation reminded me of the experiences of many transgender individuals, who have avoided seeking medical help due to discrimination and a lack of education among medical professionals. Finally, we talked about how some people only participate in BDSM behaviors as a kind of sexual role play, and how others take on this lifestyle 24/7, as an ongoing master/slave type relationship. This brought up some male/female power issues for me and gave me a chance to voice some of my own personal concerns about the way that submissive women are treated in BDSM relationships. The feminist in me had trouble holding her tongue (she always does) and I ranted a bit about my assumption that there are many more submissive females than males and about how I found some of the behaviors degrading to women. Turns out there are, in fact, more men submissives than women. I learned that at the core of BDSM is trust, fulfillment, love and the giving of oneself. The gift of submission to a partner is that much more valuable when the submissive is a strong, self-confident and powerful person.
Kim, a submissive woman who is a member of RKS, explained her joy at giving up power and control in this way. She said, “I used to be with a man who was a terrible driver. I refused to give him control of the car because I didn’t trust him. Now I am with a man who loves motorcycles. I sit on the back and I trust him to control the vehicle and keep me safe. People keep asking me why I don’t get my license and learn to drive the motorcycle myself. I don’t want to. I love giving up the control to him. I get to sit back and enjoy the ride.” Dominants must be knowledgeable, skilled and very in tune with their partners, or else they will lose the trust that has been given to them. The submissive is actually the one who has the most power in the relationship as he/she/ze decides where the boundaries will be set. The night of the workshop and play party, Pam picked me up at my house around 5:45 p.m. and drove us to the
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secret location, which had been entrusted to us after the social. We found it easily and sat for a moment in the parking lot trying to prepare ourselves for what lay ahead. With a deep breath, we stepped out of the car and walked slowly toward the dungeon. We approached the door to the building and rang the bell. A man welcomed us, showed us in (no secret handshake necessary), led us downstairs and opened up the door to the dungeon. “Holy Bustiers, Pam,” I exclaimed! “I can’t believe my eyes!” “Flying Floggers, Jeanne! Are those people really sinking their teeth into…” Will this be the end of our Dynamic Duo? Will they be tied to tables while saws spin rapidly toward their heads? Will they be suspended upside down while hot wax is dripped on their feet?!!! Will they be gagged and forced to create kinky knitting projects?!!! Tune in next month! Same Bat-Time. Same Bat-Channel… ■
APRIL 2010 • number 433 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet (Blackhurst continued from page 1) Zach Minier, bass player, are the SOTA students who will accompany Blackhurst on May 1. She says, “Gary and Zach do a terrific job. I’ve never done this before, but I thought, wait a minute, this school has a full vocal and musical program; is there any way we can work students into this? And there was!” She plans to take them to New York to hear her sing. The Blackhurst sisters grew up in Salt Lake City. Klea says, “I loved music growing up. At first I wanted to be a trumpet player, but I didn’t have the ‘lip’ so I couldn’t. Then in high school I switched to vocal music and majored in theatre with a musical emphasis at the University of Utah. Right after graduation I moved to New York City and started my career. I passed out flyers at the Times Square discount booth and did lots of jobs. I also did a lot of regional theatre, cabaret, etc. I’m still waiting for my first big Broadway show.” However, Blackhurst is currently working on “a secret Broadway project, my first big thing. All I can tell you is that I’ve been working with the great Jerry Lewis, who has taken an interest in me… I’m also working on a lot of Johnny Mercer and Dorothy Fields stuff. I’m really enjoying working with other people right now. I’m thinking of putting together a recording of Dorothy Fields lyrics,” she said. Blackhurst regards herself as “a theatre historian who performs rather than writing books.” She has performed and recorded the works of many of the great classic Broadway and pop composers, such as Cole Porter, Hoagy Carmichael and Vernon Duke. She has performed at Carnegie Hall and made many recordings on the Ghostlight Records label (www. ghostlightrecords.com). Her Ethel Merman show was the second one-woman show she created, after realizing she wasn’t getting the parts she wanted and should start writing her own shows. It is currently in residence at the Snapple Theatre Center in NYC, where there is a performance every Saturday at 5 p.m. She said, “The Merman show was successful right away. This was the first thing I’d done that people outside my own circle came to see.” About Merman, Blackhurst says, “She was the first singer where they could add a lot of brass to the orchestra – she could be heard!” Blackhurst adds, “I’m not an impressionist. I’m just me paying hom-
age to the greatest Broadway belter that ever was. I put my own spin onto it and in a way that’s respectful to her. It’s a solid tribute to one of the greatest singers ever. Some people love Merman, some hate her – but I tell them to come to the show – they’ll get to hear wonderful music. Cole Porter did five Broadway shows for her; he said she was his favorite singer to write for.” When asked what advice she would give young people like the SOTA students about choosing a career in theatre and/or music, Blackhurst said, “If you can envision being happy doing anything else – I’d say, do it! But if you have a passion for it, you should give it a try. I’m a big advocate of education – find out what came before you and that gives you a sense of what you can do. If you love what you do, you have to foster a curiosity for whatever that is. “Then I’d also say, don’t take any of it personally. There is constant rejection. I didn’t hear that advice when I was starting out, but if I had, I’d be a fabulous person! Just go out and do your thing and keep plugging away. Somehow we keep coming up, year after year.” Blackhurst acknowledges that youth today don’t hear or know much about the music of decades ago. “That’s one thing I feel very strongly about the show,” she says. “It’s a great way to get an overview of American musical theatre from the ’30s to the ’ 80s. So kids who don’t know this era can see it.” Nanette Elliott said that SOTA has to turn away many students who apply. “Over 1,000 kids auditioned for 250 spots,” she said. “What I love most about SOTA is that kids come in with a passion and are surrounded by adults who have that passion and will support them. That’s what Friends of SOTA is all about. Our kids have to do regular schoolwork, but also have to get an arts degree. We don’t get city funding and most of our students come from underprivileged backgrounds. “For instance, one student currently has an opportunity, but no drum set, so the Friends can buy him the brushes he needs. What we’re raising money for is important for these kids to fulfill their dreams and learn how to work hard to make their own possibilities.” “Everything the Traffic Will Allow” will take place on Saturday, May 1, at 8 p.m. at School of the Arts, 45 Prince St. Admission is $50-$100; all tickets are reserved and can be bought at Wegmans. For more information: www.sotarochester.org. ■
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April THURSDAY 1
Loonsberry book signing. Local Limbaugh-wannabe Blob Loonsberry autographs copies of his new book “The Wit and Wisdom of Blob Loonsberry” (1 page mimeo, $49.99, Wingnut Press). 8 am-midnight, Loof Lirpa Café, 666 Robutrad Rd.
FRIDAY 2
Dinner & Spades, 7 pm until… S&T Lounge, 328 North St., in the party room. $7 admission. Also April 9, 16, 23 and 30.
SATURDAY 3
Butch Femme Connection Dinner Night. Meet at Monroe Diner on Monroe Ave. in Pittsford, 7 pm. E-mail DressyFemme@aol.com or call Kerry/Max at (585)288-7208. BearNight at the Forum. “Leatherbears”. Bachelor Forum, 679 University Ave.
SUNDAY 4
Easter Sunday Dignity Integrity. Episcopal Eucharist with music, with the Reverend Phil Schaefer presiding. 5 pm, St. Luke St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.
MONDAY 5
Gay Alliance Youth college tour. SUNY Brockport. For information contact jessc@gayalliance.org.
TUESDAY 6
Inqueery: “The Sins of Scripture: A Look at the Negative Impact of the Bible”. Rev. Jim Mulcahy, Open Arms MCC, speaker. St. Thomas Episcopal Church, 2000 Highland Ave. at S. Winton. 7-9 pm. PFLAG@gayalliance.org; 244-8640 ext 27.
THURSDAY 8
Second Thursdays. Social networking, 5:30-7:30 pm at The Inn on Broadway. Free to LGBT people and allies, 50/50 for Pride,
the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 433 • APRIL 2010 Drink specials and complimentary nibbles.
FRIDAY 9
Inqueery: SpeakOUT Training with Gay Alliance. 5:30-9pm. Information: 2448640 ext 20; www.gayalliance.org (Inqueery listings under Education tab). Rainbow Theatre Festival presented by Bread & Water Theatre. “Lambda Project; the Art of Pride.” 8 pm, 243 Rosedale St. (New Life Presbyterian Church). Also April 10 at 8 pm; April 11 at 2 pm. Tickets $6-$12 at box office or BreadandWaterTheatre.org. Info: (585) 271-5523.
SATURDAY 10
Inqueery: SpeakOUT Training with Gay Alliance. 8:30 am-5:30 pm. Information: 244-8640 ext 20; www.gayalliance.org (Inqueery listings under Education tab). A Celebration of Virginia West Davidson. 2 pm, Celebration Hall, Downtown United Presbyterian Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh St. Second floor, wheelchair accessible. Reception. Sharing memories of the late co-founder of That All May Freely Serve. Rainbow SAGE Spring Community Dance. 5:30-10 pm, Roger Robach Center, 180 Beach Ave. $8 in advance, $12 at door. Tickets: Equal Grounds, Outlandish, Parkleigh, or call 872-2631 ext 3. DJ Laurie Roland. Food available. Drug, alcohol-free. Empire Bears potluck. “New recipes.” GAGV Youth Center, first floor, 875 E. Main St. www.empirebears.org.
SUNDAY 11
Rev. Jane Adams Spahr of That All May Freely Serve will preach at 11 am worship service at Downtown United Presbyterian Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh St. Dignity Integrity. Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, with Gloria Ulterino presiding. 5 pm, St. Luke St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. ImageArt information/volunteer meeting. Seeking input from local artists, poets for fall exhibition/reading. 10 am, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. RSVP to imageart@imageout.org by April 8.
COLAGE kick-off meeting/fun/dinner. Kids of LGBT parents aged 8 and up. 5-7 pm, GAGV Youth Center, first floor, 875 E. Main St. RSVP to Pride & Joy Families, 585-244-8649 ext 37 or kgoulet@prideandjoyfamilies.org. Info: www.colage.org.
TUESDAY 13
Yom HahShoah commemoration. Annual reading of names of Holocaust survivors and candle lighting ceremony, 10 am-2 pm, Flynn Campus Center Atrium, MCC, 1000 E. Henrietta Rd.
THURSDAY 22
Rochester Rams general meeting. 7:30 pm. Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. ImageOut film screenings to benefit Shoulders to Stand On. 7 pm: “St. Trinian’s”. 9 pm: “Misconceptions”. Cinema, $8.
Inqueery: “Moving Towards TransInclusive Language: What We Say, How We Think.” Facilitator: Laura McSpadden. 4:30-6:30 pm, Gay Alliance Community Room, first floor, Auditorium Center, 875 E Main St. For information on this and other Inqueery events: http://www.gayalliance. org/education/inqueery.html
WEDNESDAY 14
THURSDAY 15
Empty Closet deadline for May issue. susanj@gayalliance.org; 244-9030. Unfair Gay Tax Day Unhappy Hour. 4:30-5:30: Rally at Federal Building, 100 State St. 5:30-8 pm: dinner and drink specials at 140 Alex Bar & Grill. Tony Leuzzi reading from “Radiant Losses”, his new book of poems. With ecopoet Patrick Lawler of Syracuse. 7-8:30 pm, Writers & Books, 740 University Ave.
FRIDAY 16
National Healthcare Decisions Day. End-of-life/Palliative Care Initiative developed CompassionAndSupport.org Web site in 2002 to educate on advance care planning, MOLST, palliative care, pain management and hospice care and related topics. Day of Silence. Youth rally and dance in Apollo Room, lower level, Auditorium Center, 875 E. Main St. Featuring Tasha Brooks, the Rochettes. Break the silence at 4 pm. Dance with DJ Chuck Argento. Info: jessc@gayalliance.org. Rainbow Theatre Festival. “Ladies and Gentlemen”. 8 pm, 243 Rosedale St. (New Life Presbyterian Church). Also April 17, 23, 24 at 8 pm; April 25 at 2 pm. Tickets $6-$12 at Bread & Water Theatre box office or BreadandWaterTheatre.org. Info: 271-5523.
SATURDAY 17
Classifieds Classified ads are $5 for the first 30 words; each additional 10 words is another $1. We do not bill for classifieds, so please send or bring ad and payment to: The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14605. Paying by check: checks must be made out to Gay Alliance or GAGV. The deadline is the 15th of the month, for the following month’s issue. We cannot accept ads over the phone. Pay when you place your ad. We will accept only ads accompanied by name and phone number. Neither will be published, but we must be able to confirm placement. The Empty Closet is not responsible for financial loss or physical injury that may result from any contact with an advertiser. Advertisers must use their own box number, voice mail, e-mail or personal address/phone number.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
The Rainbow Amateur Radio Association, serving the GLBT community of ham radio operators since 1995, seeks a young individual who can qualify to receive some college scholarship money, probably $1,000. Must be high school student, male or female, who intends to head to college after graduation, and is either a ham radio operator currently, or enrolled in a class to obtain his or her license. The club currently has 160 members worldwide and continues to grow. Check out our web site: www.rara.org. Dinner & Spades, from 7 pm until… S&T Lounge, 328 North St., in the party room. $7 just to enter. Stripper 10 pm. April 2, 9, 16, 23 and 30.
SERVICES
Rochester’s Best Man to Man Rubdown. Unwind with this degreed, employed, fit, friendly, healthy, Italian GWM. Middle aged, 5’8”, 16 5lbs., 32” waist, nonsmoker, d & d free, HIV negative. My 10 plus years experience guarantees your relaxation and satisfaction. Hotel visit, incall in my home or outcall in your residence. Reasonable rates. Discretion appreciated and practiced. Don’t
delay, call me today at 585-773-2410(cell) or 585-235-6688(home) or e-mail me at: magichands@rochester.rr.com. W. Shawn Cignarale, Interior Designer. Specialties include refinishing hardwood floors, painting, wallpapering, woodwork and ceramic tiles. Other services include designing silk and fresh floral arrangements. E-mail me at mysticalinterior@yahoo.com for price quotes. Treat yourself to a very soothing, relaxing massage by a licensed massage therapist. Massage reduces stress and can enhance your well-being. Convenient, central locations. Call John at 585-3140197. Martin Ippolito, master electrician. Electrical work, phone jacks, cable TV, burglar alarm systems, paddle fans. Call 585-266-6337. FOR RENT House for rent. Atlantic-Winton area. Ample parking off-street, yard, garden, three bedrooms, fridge and washer. Year lease. $770 plus utilities. 224-9868 or 654-5987. Occupancy June 1.
FOR SALE
Malibu outdoor lights. 50-foot string of four. Brand new, never unboxed. $79 value for $65. 385-7931.
fundraiser for Pride 2010. Shows at 3 and 7 pm, Radisson Riverside. General tickets: $10, $25 advance; $15, $30 at the door; special seating for VIP donations. Cash bar, silent auction and 50-50 drawing. Info: www.gayalliance.org or www.corsetsonparade.com.
Butch Femme Connection Dinner Night. Meet at Wintonaire on N. Winton Rd. 7 pm. For information, e-mail DressyFemme@aol.com or call Kerry/Max at (585) 288-7208.
SUNDAY 18
Dignity Integrity. Quiet Episcopal Eucharist with Reverend Don Hill presiding. 5 pm, St. Luke St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Corsets on Parade. Fashion burlesque
Inqueery: Screening: Licensed to Kill. 7 pm. Information: 244-8640 ext 20; www. gayalliance.org (Inqueery listings under Education tab).
SATURDAY 24
SUNDAY 25
Dignity Integrity. Prayers to start the week, followed by a “Gifts of the Earth” Potluck supper. 5 pm, St. Luke St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.
THURSDAY 29
Bishop V. Gene Robinson of New Hampshire speaks at St. Luke St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. 7 pm Evensong service. Rochester’s Episcopal Bishop Prince Singh will also participate. Discussion to follow. Open to the public.
FRIDAY 30
Beltain, May Eve, Walpurgisnacht. Ancient pagan fire-feast celebration of the return of life to earth with the springtime. Sacred tree: willow.
MAY SATURDAY 1
May Day Klea Blackhurst in “Everything the Traffic Will Allow”, benefit for School of the Arts. SOTA, 45 Prince St. 8 pm. $50-$100; all tickets reserved; can be bought at Wegmans. Info at www.sotarochester.org. Rainbow Theatre Festival. “Nijinsky’s Last Dance.” 8 pm, 243 Rosedale St. (New Life Presbyterian Church). Also May 7, 8 at 8 pm; May 2, 9 at 2 pm. Tickets $6-$12 at Bread & Water Theatre box office or BreadandWaterTheatre.org. 271-5523.
SUNDAY 2
RGMC Anything Goes Spring Gala. One Restaurant, 1 Ryan Alley, 4-8 pm, individuals $35; couples $50. (See page B 16 GROUPS for full information on sponsorships). RSVP by April 9 to Todd L. Perkins, 585-473-1127. ■
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APRIL 2010 • number 433 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet
Ongoing Calendar Monday LGBT Support Group 34 Meigs St. First, 3rd Mondays, 7:30-9pm. Carol, 482-3832. (March 1 cancelled) Lilac Squares Gay Square Dance Group Mondays, 7pm, Open Arms MCC, 740 Marshall Rd. 520-5358; mfleig@rochester.rr.com. Free syphilis testing AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave., 5-8pm. 442-2220. Rochester Historical Bowling Society 7:15pm, Mondays. Clover Lanes, 2750 Monroe Ave. (Group is full.) HIV Positive Gay Men Support group Every Monday, 5pm, AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. GAGV Youth Drop-In Hours Mondays, Wednesdays, 2-6pm, GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, first floor. 244-8640, ext 13. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers Mondays, 6pm, George Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org. Steps Beyond Stems Crack Support Group Mondays, 7-8pm, 289 Monroe Ave. GAGV Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center Every Monday. 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640.
Tuesday Just Us Guys Gay men of all ages. Second Tuesdays, 6:30pm, AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. 223-2629 Civil Rights Front Every Tuesday, 7pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. http://www.civilrightsfront.wordpress.com Two Spirit Group Second Tuesdays, 7:30pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. PFLAG program meeting First Tuesdays. 7-9pm meeting. St. Thomas Church, Winton & Highland. CampusOut Coffee Night First Tuesdays, 7-10pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. MOCHA Youth Drop-In Tues.-Fri., 1-9pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way, 420-1400; 244-8640 MOCHA Hepatitis Clinic Free Hepatitis A & B vaccinations, third Tuesdays, 5:30-7pm, 107 Liberty Pole Way, 420-1400 Rainbow SAGE Yoga 6-7pm Open Arms MCC, 125 Norris Drive, 442-6369. Pride 2010 committee meeting Third Tuesdays. GAGV Community Room, 1st floor, 875 E. Main St. 6:30-8pm. Everyone welcome to plan Pride 2010 (July 11-18). 244-8640. Women’s Community Chorus Rehearsals each Tuesday, 6:30-9pm, Downtown United Pres. Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh Street. 234-4441, www.therwcc.org Free HIV Testing Every Tuesday, 9am-7pm. AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave.
Wednesday
Transgender Group Third Wednesdays. 6:30-9pm. 140 Alex Bar & Grill 140 Alexander St. second floor meeting room Gay Alliance Board of Directors Meets Third Wednesdays, 6pm, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640 New Freedom New Happiness AA Gay meeting, 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd. Men and women. Open. Equality ROC Second, fourth Wednesdays, 7pm. For location, info, call Anne, 426-0862. Support Group for Parents Who Have Lost Children First, 3rd Wednesdays, 11am-12:30pm, Third Presbyterian Church, 4 Meigs St. Genesee Region Home Care. Free. 325-1880 COAP Come Out and Play. Business meeting last Wednesday. Equal Grounds Coffee Shop, 750 South Ave. 7pm, John S., 261-7263. Empire Bears First Wednesdays, 7:45pm, GAGV Community Center, 875 E. Main St., fifth floor. info@ empirebears.org Rochester Rams General Meeting 2nd Wednesdays, 7:30pm, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. www.rochesterrams.com Multicom-4 Coffee Talk 7pm, Spin Café, 739 Park Av. Social for former Multicom-4 BBS members; other glbt cyber geeks welcome, every fourth Wednesday, 8pm Brothers Keeper Support group for men over 30. Third Wednesdays, 5:30-7:30pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way. 420-1400 GAGV Youth Drop-In Hours Mondays, Wednesdays, 3-7pm, GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, first floor. 244-8640 ext 13. Married Men’s Support Group Third Wednesdays, 6:30-8pm. 875 E. Main. Follow signs for “Charlie’s Group”. Scott, 585-2448640 ext 20. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 6pm, Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org. GAGV Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center Every Wednesday. 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640.
Thursday Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns 6:30pm, first Thursday. Ralph, 271-7649 Queer Radical Reading Group First and third Thursdays, 7pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. Pride at Work First Thursdays, 5:30pm. 167 Flanders St. off Thurston Rd. 426-0862. GLOB&L (Gays and Lesbians of Bausch & Lomb). Meets every third Thursday in Area 67 conference room at the Optic Center. Voice mail: 338-8977 Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus Downtown United Presbyterian Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh St. 6:30-9pm, 423-0650
Tawa Pano Church Bible Study Bible study 7:15pm. 758 South Ave.
Free confidential walk-in HIV testing Every Thursday night, 5-8pm, AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. 442-2220
Charlie’s Group Third Wednesdays. Monthly peer-facilitated suppport group for married men who have sex with men. Confidential, free. 6:30pm. For info: Scott, 244-8640 x 20; ScottF@gagv.us.
Partner Bereavement Group First and third Thursdays, 5:30-7pm. Open dropin session; professionally led. Freewill donation to hospice requested. Lifetime Care, 3111 Winton Road, 214-1414
Country Line Dancing/Two Stepping Every Wednesday, Muthers, 40 S. Union, 7pm, Lessons followed by dancing until 10pm, Beginners to advanced.
MOCHA/GAGV Youth Trans Group First Thursdays, 5-7pm, GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main St., first floor (Prince St. entrance). 244-8640 ext 13.
U.R. Pride Network 7:30pm, Gamble Room in Rush Rhees Library. urpride@gmail.com
Catholic Gay & Lesbian Family Ministry Third Thursday, 7-9pm, School of Good Shepherd Church, 3288 E. Henrietta Rd. 392-2862.
AQA Support group for transgender people of color. Third Thursdays, 5:30-7pm, MOCHA, 107 Liberty Pole Way. 420-1400. Second Thursdays Social and business networking, 5:30-7:30pm. Changing venues. E-mail thomaso510@mac.com or oenyfingerlakes.groupsite.com. Gay & Lesbian Cancer Support Group Second Thursdays, 6-7:30pm, Gilda’s Clubhouse, 255 Alexander St. RSVP: 423-9700; info@ gildasclubrochester.org
FRIDAY Gay Men's AA meeting Fridays, 7:30-8:30pm, Closed meeting. Emmanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. GLBTQI Motorcycle Group Second Fridays, 5:30pm, Various locations. RochesterGLBTIQbikers@yahoo.com; 478-1565; bmdaniels@frontiernet.net.
SATURDAY Rochester Rams Bar Night Third Saturdays, 8pm-2am, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. 271-6930 Empire Bears Bar Night First Saturdays. Bachelor Forum, 470 University Ave. www.empirebears.org. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 9am, George Eastman House parking lot.www. rochesterfrontrunners.org. Empire Bears Potluck 2nd Saturdays, GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main, first floor, Prince St. entrance. 6:30pm greet; 7pm dinner. Bring dish to pass. www. empirebears.org. Cross Dresser Support Group First Saturdays, 6-9pm, call for location: 251-2132; RCDNET@hotmail.com Transgender Group Last Saturdays, 2:30-5pm, Gay Alliance Community Room, 875 E. Main St., first floor (next to Youth Center).
Guys Night Out Third Saturdays. Social group for transguys. 1pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. tguysnightout@ gmail.com. Saturday Night Special Gay AA 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd. S. Men and women. Open meeting. Lilac Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf (LRAD) Second Saturdays, 6-9pm. rcoaster@rochester. rr.com
Sunday Parents Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) Third Sundays, 2-4pm. Nopper Room, Gay Alliance, fifth floor, 875 E. Main St. PFLAG@ gayalliance.org. GAGV Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center Every Sunday. 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640. Tawa Pano Unity Fellowship Church Sundays, 10am, 758 South Ave. 617-4279 Dignity-Integrity 5pm, St. Luke’s/St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Every Sunday, 234-5092 Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church 740 Marshall Rd., Chili, 10:30am. 271-8478 Gay Men’s Alcoholics Anonymous St. Luke’s/St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. 8:30pm, 232-6720, Weekly. Closed meeting GAGV Youth Group Ages 13-23. Every Sunday, 2-4pm, GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. or satellite location. For weekly location check Youth Calendar, www. gayalliance.org or e-mail Jess at JessC@gagv.us. Rainbow SAGE First Sundays: Euchre Club, 3-6pm. Third Sundays, Potluck at First Universalist Church, 150 S. Clinton Ave., 4pm. Men’s Cooking Group Third or fourth Sundays, 355-7664.
AA Meetings in Rochester Every week there are four regularly scheduled GLBTI AA meetings in Rochester.
Wednesdays
New Freedom/New Happiness Group
7 p.m. at the First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: Take the last #18 University bus to 12 Corners. Use the stop just past the top of the hill at Hillside Ave. and before Highland Ave. Or take the #1 Park Ave. to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton. This is an open discussion meeting. All issues – as they relate to our alcoholism/addiction and recovery – are fair game.
Fridays Gay Men’s
7:30 p.m. Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. • Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • Handicapped accessible This is a round-robin discussion meeting. If you are shy about meeting people or speaking up in a group, you will find this meeting particularly warm and inviting because everyone gets their turn to speak (or pass). As a result, this meeting often runs long, so plan on more than the usual hour.
Saturdays
Saturday Night Special
7 p.m. at the First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: The #18 University Ave. bus does not go by the church on weekend evenings. Take the #1 Park Ave. bus to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton. • Open meeting, all are welcome, “straight-friendly” • Mixed men and women • Handicapped accessible, take the elevator to the basement Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.
Sundays
Rochester Gay Men
8 p.m. at St. Luke/St. Simon’s Episcopal Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Bus riders use the Fitzhugh St. stop on Main St. at the County Office Building and walk south one block. • Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • NOT handicapped accessible Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.
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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 433 • APRIL 2010