Empty Closet, August 2010 Sec B

The Empty Closet number 437

Section B

Arts, Entertainment & Community

a publication of the gay alliance of the genesee valley

august 2010

Country singer Chely Wright talks about coming out

Annette Bening and Julianne Phillips in “The Kids Are All Right,” screening at The Little this month.

The Kids Are All Right starts run at The Little Theatre Now at The Little: a family headed by a lesbian couple gets upended when their kids’ sperm donor enters the picture.

The most talked-about title (and the biggest sale at five million) at January’s Sundance Film Festival, The Kids Are All Right follows many of the conventions of a domestic suburban “dramedy”. The film takes a seemingly ordinary, interesting couple with some smart, distinct teenagers and shows how many fissures are revealed when the family is pulled in uncomfortable directions.

Writer-director Lisa Cholodenko, who made her mark on the independent film scene with her moody examination of sexuality, ambition, and heroin chic in High Art, followed

by Laurel Canyon, which focused

on the temptations of Southern California, has returned with a vibrant, astute and richly-drawn portrait of a modern family.

In her film, a lesbian couple, Nic and Jules (Annette Bening and Julianne Moore), and their teenage children, Joni and Laser (Mia Wasikowska and Josh Hutcherson), live in a cozy craftsman bungalow in Los Angeles. As Joni prepares for college, her younger brother pesters her for a big favor — help him find their biological father. Against her better judgment, she makes a call to the sperm bank; the bank, in turn, calls Paul (Mark Ruffalo) and asks him if he’s willing to meet his daughter. He agrees, and a complicated new chapter begins for the family.

The film opened at the Little Theatre, located at 240 East Ave., on July 30. Tickets are $8 in the evening and $6 for matinees. ■

Although Chely Wright made media waves in May when she decided to publicly come out as a lesbian, this country musician is not new to publicity, fame and admiration.

In 1995, she received a Country Music Award for Best New Female Vocalist. In 1997, she had her first top-20 country hit, “Shut Up and Drive.” The single “Single White Female” from her fourth album made it to number one on the country charts in 1999. In 2001 she won the National Association for Music Education’s (NAME) Stand Up for Music Award and was named one of People Magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful People.

The following year, she won NAME’s FAME award, the International Bluegrass Music Award for the Recorded Event of the Year, the Kansan of the Year award, CMT’s Video Fashion Plate award and was named one of the 20 Hottest Women in Music and 100 Sexiest Women of 2002 by FHM. Then, in 2003, she was named Woman of the Year by the American Legion.

In 2005 she won a songwriting award from BMI for her song “I Can’t Sleep,” which was performed widely by Clay Walker.

And those are just the first place awards: she has also received over a dozen more nominations for country music awards.

Since she came out in early May, Chely has released a CD, Lifted Off the Ground, and an autobiography, Like Me: Confessions of a Heartland Country Singer.

“Boys in the Band” opens Aug. 4 Due to unforeseen circumstances, “The Boys In The Band,” by Mart Crowley, directed by Michael H. Arve, will be performed Aug. 4, 5, 6 at 8 p.m., and Aug. 7 and 8 at 2 p.m., at MuCCC, 142 Atlantic Ave. The July performances had to be canceled. The Aug. 4 performance will be a benefit for the Gay Alliance.

Tickets are $10-$20. For reservations online, go to www. muccc.org. Information is available at 585-234-1254.

“The Boys in the Band,” which opened in 1968, was the first truly honest portrayal of the lives of gay men. At a time when gay characters were seldom seen in media except as crude stereotypes, this play presented a view of gay existence that was comparatively true-to-life.

“The Boys in the Band” offers a glimpse of gay male history over 40 years ago, preStonewall and pre-HIV. It is a reminder that stereotypes, bigotry and internalized homophobia are still issues even in 21st century America. ■

Top row, L to R: Amanda Ashley, Chan McKenzie, Lori Nolasco, Bottom row, L to R: McVendetta, Diane Conway, Lu Highsmith

Women’s multiartist outdoor show is Aug. 22 Womonstock: HER outdoor multi-artist event, featuring art and performance by women, will take place Aug. 22 in Ellison Park, from 3-7 p.m.

Culture Starts With Art (CSWA) and Evolutionary Girls are producing the second HER show, following up on HER’s successful debut in March, and featuring the women of Sistas Sayin Somethin’.

The show will be outdoors

in Ellison Park at the Creekside Lodge. Organizer Diane Conway says, “I believe it is Rochester’s first all-female multi-artist outdoor show!”

All are welcome to attend, especially children. The event will also feature children artists of various expressions.

Tickets are $12. Groups for three or more will only cost $8 (children 12 and under get in free). Families are welcome, and the event is wheelchairaccessible and ASL interpreted. For information, call 442-5432. ■

Country singer Chely Wright talks to The Empty Closet about her coming out journey.

In her book, as well as in the many interviews she has done since she came out, she has shared that she had to tell the world that she was a lesbian because, quite simply, she had reached rock-bottom: she had moved beyond suicidal ideation and reached the point where she was staring at herself in the mirror, holding a 9mm handgun in her mouth and readying herself to pull the trigger.

Both her book and her CD overflow with the unguarded honesty that came from her willingness to choose life as an out lesbian rather than surrender to death in the closet.

Like Me and Lifted Off the Ground are available from your local book and music dealers, as well as the usual online and chain store sources. There will also be an upcoming documentary on Chely Wright, titled Wish Me Away; the release date for this film is still to be determined, but be sure to watch for this movie event!

Lifted Off the Ground; Vanguard Records. Release Date: May 4, 2010. Lifted Off the Ground is, ultimately, an album about the places where fear meets freedom and where breakdown meets breakthrough. Each of the 11 songs resonates with tenderness that is so authentic it is accessible to any and all listeners.

In addition to performing the vocals and guitar, Chely also wrote all of the songs on the album: the only exception is “Heavenly Days,” which she cowrote with the album’s producer, Rodney Crowell.

One of the highlights of the album is “Snowglobe,” a poet-

ic meditation on life, pain and peace. The rhythm is half lullaby and half storm-at-sea as she croons her questions: “Oh is this a bad dream?/ Or the best dream that I’ve ever had?/ And, oh, what is waiting,/ Beyond the mirror,/ Beyond the curtain,/ Beyond what fades into the black?” Listening to this song can take listeners straight into their hearts and into the poignant fear that is so common before life-changing decisions (such as coming out).

Although the whole album is deeply reflective and poetic, it would be a mistake to assume that it is in any way a downer.

The songs “Hang Out in Your Heart” and “Like Me” are love songs that overflow with tenderness and intimacy, while “Heavenly Days,” “That Train” and “Notes to the Coroner” are as foot-tappingly energetic as they are thoughtful. Anyone who has ever been through a difficult break-up (can we have a show of hands?) will find crooning along to “Damn Liar” an extraordinarily cathartic experience.

The closing track, “Shadows of Doubt,” is in many ways the heart of the album. In this song, she sings, “Right now you don’t call me friend,/ But I’m still here where I’ve always been/ And even though you don’t know it right now,/ I’ll outlast the shadows of doubt/ Yeah, I’m stronger than shadows of doubt” -- in such a way that the depth of her strength shines through.

Lifted Off the Ground benefits not only from the experience she gained from working on her previous six albums, but also from the open rawness of her (Chely continues page 3)

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 437 • august 2010

august 2010 • number 437 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet (Chely from page 1) emotions regarding coming out. There are too few albums that can perfectly balance maturity with the freshness of discovery: fortunately for all of us, this album is one that can.

Like Me: Confessions of a Heartland Country Singer by Chely Wright; Nonfiction; Hardcover, 288 pages.

Publisher: Pantheon Books (May 4, 2010) ISBN-10: 0307378861; ISBN-13: 978-0307378866 Like Me is as intimate and honest as her album, but with a different focus. The poetic wordplay of her lyrics gives way to clear and accessible prose as Chely shares her experiences from childhood to the present day.

Reading this memoir almost feels like reading someone’s diary, or perhaps letters from a close friend. The memories are not obscured by justifications or double-talk: they are what they are, laid bare for readers to make of them what they will.

It would be too easy to assume from reading much of the press coverage about this book that it is basically an expose of her time in the closet, primarily as it relates to her relationships with Brad Paisley and Vince Gill. I cannot emphasize how inaccurate this is. Although she does mention these relationships and their effect upon her, as could only be expected in such a thorough exploration of her past, it is only within a few chapters.

The core of the book centers on her relationships with her family, her music, her previous girlfriends and, above all, herself. It is a tale that all people, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity, can relate to, as it centers on the gradual unfolding of self-acceptance and the importance of authenticity.

Like Me is organized in a fairly straightforward, chronological manner that fits her writing style very well. Chely invite readers to imagine her childhood in rural Kansas, when she would chop down trees for firewood with her family in order to make ends meet through the winter, serenade nursing homes and preachers with steamy country hits, cope with school bullies, and pray repeatedly “Dear God, please don’t let me be gay. I promise to be a good person…. Please take it away.”

She also gives us glimpses of her early years in Opryland, her first relationship with a woman, her first recording contract, her first number-one hit, and the first time she stood up to her mother. Her retelling of what it was like to come out to her dad is so bare and tender that reading it feels like being right there with her, having a conversation over a cup of coffee, talking about it right after it happened.

Some of the most interesting parts of the book are not just the outlining of the important events in her life, though, but the moments when she grapples with her political and spiritual beliefs.

For instance, since she is someone who has toured the Mideast many times through the years to play for the troops, performed for the Boy Scouts of America, gained fame for her song “Bumper of My SUV” about the respect she has for the people in the military, and participated in a private party for wounded and recovering troops that was held by Dick Cheney, it would be all too easy to assume that she identifies as both a conservative and a Republican; however, she is neither.

It is very interesting to read her explanations of how she came to hold the beliefs she does regarding patriotism and politics, and refreshing to discover that she is a person who transcends the sharp divisions and categorizations that are all too common in the present-day climate: as for what these explanations are exactly, well, rather than spoil it for you here, why don’t you go and pick up a copy of Like Me and give it a read?

One of the great gifts of her story and the way that she tells it is that it goes beyond the surface and reveals an artist who has faced struggles, asked herself many difficult questions, stared down demons and ultimately has risen above it all to find peace. ■

A conversation with Chely Wright

By Laura McSpadden After learning that we were planning on publishing reviews of her recent book and CD, Chely was gracious enough to agree to do a telephone interview with The Empty Closet. Given the fact that she has been touring all over the country for interviews, Pride celebrations, and benefit performances, we are immensely grateful for her time and willingness to speak with us.

LM: I understand that you are the founder for the non-profit agency Reading, Writing and Rhythm (RW&R), which helps to supply musical equipment and instruments to schools in need, and that you just had the 2010 benefit performance of RW&R, which was obviously the first one since you came out. Could you please tell us something about this experience?

CW: I had had an in-store performance at a bookseller’s, but this was my first full concert back in the Nashville area since coming out as a lesbian. It went really well: we had an amazing night of fundraising, music and fun. All the artists stayed on board, all the sponsors stayed on board, and some even increased their pledges.

The people who knew me before knew this (being gay) wasn’t a big deal, that this is in fact a reason to be proud, that I’m doing something that is worth being proud of.

The truth of it is that, since coming out, I have finally been able to discuss the original meaning for the nonprofit. RW&R started in concurrence with the shootings at Columbine. I remember at the time that, although I of course abhorred the violence of the shooters’ actions, I felt that I could almost understand their feelings of marginalization and lack of hope. I couldn’t help but wonder if they were, you know, like me, if they were gay.

Any artist worth their salt makes a promise to give back once they have reached their goals. I knew this, there was this desire to give back that was tugging at me. I committed to myself that once I had my first success, that I had to find a way to channel it.

One of the gifts that RW&R has to give is that it helps children who otherwise wouldn’t have a way to express themselves have a voice. Every kid should have a place where they belong, even if they’re not a brainiac. Even kids who aren’t popular or A students deserve a chance to share their deeper, more profound truth.

LM: I couldn’t help but sense that there is a complete lack of bitterness in the songs on Lifted Off the Ground. Even in “Damn Liar,” where there is obviously a lot of anger, it doesn’t sound bitter. How do you feel about the emotion in this album?

CW: Wow, that’s a really insightful way of listening to that song. I was, in fact, so angry when I wrote “Damn Liar,” which is obviously about an ex-girlfriend.

While writing it, I told myself that it was all about her. Then, about three weeks

after I wrote it, I realized that it was actually about me, and I was unfairly projecting my discomfort and anger, my fear and anxieties onto her: I realized that I was the damn liar as long as I chose to stay in the closet. That song couldn’t have been more autobiographical.

It is so incredibly not fun to hide things. (Hiding) will eat away at you like a cancer. And it’s true that, through it all, I’m really not mad. And I think the thing that keeps me from being mad is my understanding that I, and probably all gays and lesbians, would like more than anything else to be understood in peace.

As long as I’m able to shut my mouth and listen, hear people’s opinions when they are different than mine, then there can be a real sharing, of my story as well as of theirs. If I expect others to hear me in peace, then I need to hear the voices of others in peace. I don’t think anger is a productive tool in my tool belt.

EC: I grew up in the Midwest, listening to a lot of Johnny Cash and Merle Haggard. So, as you may expect, I’ve heard a lot of train songs, and I absolutely love the song “That Train” on your current album. Would you please tell me something about what makes the image of trains so alluring, and why it is important to you?

CW: Yes, of course, “That Train” is not just a train song. There is a longing, there is a metaphor. Trains get to pass through and go somewhere else, unbound and unpressured by others’ expectations.

I realized through the course of my body of work that I had never written a train song, and I wondered how that had happened. So, I just started up with a Johnny Cash “Boom-chicka-boom” rhythmic beat, started singing, and I realized I was writing a song about freedom.

It’s about going somewhere else, transporting oneself into an idealistic environment, lifting oneself up: it’s about imagination, it’s about freedom, it’s about the fabric of American life. How cool to tuck a coming out freedom song into this long context of country songs about the iconic American image of the train!

LM: Could you share one anecdote about your experience of attending Melissa Etheridge’s birthday party?

CW: That party was so incredibly fun: everybody was there. My initial reaction when I was invited was that I wouldn’t go, but that was just an old habit. When I was in the closet, I avoided any situation that would draw my sexuality into question.

Now that I’m out, though, I thought, well, why wouldn’t I go?

Okay, so, I don’t dance. Like, I’m awful. I worked in a theme park where dancing was part of the gig, and I was only allowed to keep my job because of my singing: believe me, it had nothing to do with my dancing skills. And that night, I was one of the only ones at the party who wasn’t drinking: yes, I do sometimes drink, but never very much and never when I’m out in public. But that night, I danced as if I was drinking tequila. I danced all night, and it was a blast.

LM: In the last few months, you have been thrust into a spotlight within large segments of the LGBT community. What has been the most surprising to you about this shift from the closet to the limelight?

CW: I’ve learned a lot in the last few years, part of which happened from moving from Nashville to New York. I wanted to become more educated so I could be of as great a help as possible to as many people as possible when I came out.

One thing that has really struck me is how the gay community is as diverse as the straight community. We are all what gay looks like, there are so many faces and types of beauty in the gay community.

We have to start changing the notions of what gays look like, because it is dangerous to get stuck in stereotypes and simplifications.

I have also been so honored to have so many people approach me and thank me for coming out while affirming my connection to God. Although I don’t label my spirituality with a fixed religious label, my

b3 spiritual path has always been very much a part of my life. It has been meaningful to say, and to have it heard, that straight people don’t own God. It’s surprised me that people who don’t share all components of my story have risen up and been supportive, have experienced a great connection with what I’m sharing. ■

Debbie Does Dallas at Blackfriars this month Blackfriars Theatre announces the opening of “Debbie Does Dallas,” a musical by Erica Schmidt and Andrew Sherman, adapted by Erica Schmidt from the film.

The most important theatrical event of the twenty-first century (well, maybe), “Debbie Does Dallas” is a modern morality tale told as a comic musical of tragic proportions in the language of the rodeoporno-football circus.

“A scream! A saucy, tongue-in-cheek romp.” —The New Yorker; “Shamelessly silly, shrewdly self-aware and proud of being naughty. Great fun!” —NY Times; “Racy and raucous, a lighthearted, fastpaced thoroughly engaging and hilarious send-up.” —NY Daily News.

“Debbie Does Dallas” stars Christy Balonek, Mandy Hassett, Dan Howell, Janine Mercandetti , Dustin Pahman, Johnnie Simmons, Jessi St. George and Mary Tiballi. The play is directed and designed by John Haldoupis; musical direction by Mark Alan DeWaters; movement by Meggins Kelley. Stage management is by Ted Plant.

Show times are Aug. 6, 20 at 9 p.m.; Aug. 14, 21 at 9 p.m.; Aug. 7 at 10 p.m.; Sunday, Aug. 1, 3 p.m.; Aug. 8, 7 p.m., and Wednesday, Aug. 11, 18 at 7:30 p.m.

Blackfriars Theatre is located at 795 East Main St., just a few doors down from the Auditorium Theatre. There is parking available on site, and handicapped seating is available.

Tickets may be purchased online at www.bftix.com and also by calling the box office at 454-1260. MasterCard, Visa, and Discover are available at no additional charge. If available, tickets can be purchased at the door beginning one hour prior to performance. Box office hours are Monday through Friday, 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. and Saturdays, noon to 4 p.m. For more information regarding Blackfriars Theatre, visit the website at www.blackfriars.org. ■

Publishers seek talent at Adirondacks summit Publishing consultants are searching upstate New York this summer for new writers who want to break into the book publishing world. The search begins at the 2010 Adirondack Writing Summit, to be held at Inlet, NY, Aug. 15-26.

“Most publishers don’t send reps outside their New York, Chicago, or L.A. ruts,” says David Hazard, founder of Ascent, the Washington DC-based writing program that produces the Summit.

“For that reason they miss a lot of great talent -- and these are the writers we discover and help launch.”

The Ascent program was developed to help aspiring writers and those wanting to boost their career to new levels. It will feature daily coaching classes, one-on-one sessions with professional editors and publishing consultants and interviews with bestselling authors.

Among the presenters is Ruth ThalerCarter, a Rochester resident and nationally published freelance writer. Thaler-Carter teaches seminars at Writers and Books on University Ave. in Rochester and is author of “Freelancing 101: Launching Your Editorial Business,” and “Get Paid to Write: Getting Started as a Freelance Writer.”

Ruth will offer guidance on the use of social media and websites, two essential skills in developing a writing career today.

Designed to be a “creative getaway,” the Adirondack Writing Summit features (Publishers continues page 8)

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Travel

North Carolina: Charlotte and Pinehurst

By Merle Exit When it comes to thoughts of NASCAR, the cities of Indianapolis, Daytona and Charlotte come to mind.

Charlotte Motor Speedway is the motorsport venue in North Carolina where the recent Coca-Cola 600 took place. The speedway is actually located in the suburb of Concord, unlike the recently opened NASCAR Hall of Fame, which is located in Uptown Charlotte.

Headed for Uptown financial and arts district of Charlotte to check into the historic Dunhill Hotel. Here’s where the charm comes in with the look of 1929 and renovations of present day amenities. The hotel is in walking distance of Charlotte Bobcat Arena; Discovery Place; IMaginOn: The Joe & Joan Martin Center; Levine Museum of the South; Mint Museum of Craft & Design; Spirit Center for the Performing Arts and North Carolina Blumenthal Center for the Performing Arts.

If you don’t want to walk to any of these places, their London Taxi provides transportation upon request within the Uptown loop on a space available basis from 7 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. So, for instance, if you want to dine at McCormick & Schmick’s and then go to the Bobcat Arena, which may be a longer walk, they will do that for you. Keep in mind, though, that there is only one taxi.

Levine Museum of the New South documents the history of the region through an exhibit called “Cotton Fields to Skyscrapers”. You can relive a civil rights era sit-in at a lunch counter, try on a hat in an early Belk department store and a whole lot more.

Discovery Place is the South’s premier hands-on science and technology center.

This is one cool place for both young and

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 437 • august 2010 older inquisitive folks. It features a whole bunch of “adult toys” that kids could play with. There were two things that captured my attention. One was a machine with dust that “danced” to the music. The other was this electronic thing that you can put “blocks” on to connect to others to make musical tones.

If you’re into the fine arts, Bechtler Museum of Modern Art may capture your eyes. I found it to be a big space for the amount of artwork.

Fly Air Tran into Raleigh, North Carolina, take an hour and a half shuttle to the Pinehurst Resort and forget about renting a car. Why? Just in case you want to wander outside the resort and village, a free Acura is available for three hours.

Although Pinehurst (www.pinehurst. com) is known to be a golf mecca, there are the 24 tennis courts, two groomed croquet courts, championship lawn bowling course, and Lake Pinehurst and Beach Club with a 200-acre freshwater lake for sailing, canoeing, paddle boating, kayaking, fishing and swimming. Then there is always the West Lawn Activity Center with a kiddie pool, hot tub and putting green. Wait, I think I’ll go to the spa for a Sea Grove Clay Wrap and Magnolia Luxury Facial and then relax in one of the rocking chairs on the porch.

The first thing that you may want to do is board their shuttle bus and tour the resort area. Make sure you visit the Given Memorial Library housing the Tufts Archives and get the 101 on the resort’s history.

I stayed at The Carolina, one of four spots. It looks to be the “fanciest” and it’s where the 4 p.m. tea is located. Nothing like some tasty pastries a few hours before dinner at the Carolina Dining Room.

With a choice of riding an old fashioned foot peddle bicycle into the village, walking or taking the shuttle bus, I took the latter. I encountered a shop called Green Gate Olive Oils where I could taste a whole bunch of both olive oils and balsamic vinegars via spigots. Bread dip or sip as if tasting wine. Choose and it gets bottled. How about mixing a blood orange oil with a blueberry vinegar or marinating fish in lemon oil and a jalapeno balsamic? www.greengateoliveoils.com ■

At Green Gate Olive Oils.

Martha M. Howden, CSW, CASAC Anxiety • Depression Alcohol • Stress • Grief Relationship • Family Plan Rectification Work Holotropic Breathwork • Specializing in work with individuals and families in the Coming Out process Martha M. Howden, csw, casac 496 White Spruce Blvd.

Rochester, New York 14623 Phone: 585 272-1760 Fax: 585 272-8986 Most Insurances Accepted

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august 2010 • number 437 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Columnists

The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet.

Growing Up Gay, Basher

By Eric Bellmann It’s the fourth of July and I’m at a nifty party at my friend Sally’s. It’s the usual suspects, her son and his wife and their hyperactive five-year-old son and her daughter and son-in-law, both big deal food people.

She’s a wine expert, he runs his own restaurant in Chelsea. The food connection is the big bonus since the crowd of fifteen or so includes a pastry chef, a guy who’s worked his way up into restaurant management and everyone else has risen to the occasion and brought impressive but casual eats.

These gatherings are always gold pot luck! I was told to pick up three bags of ice. Sort of tells you where I am on the food chain. It’s more or less the same crowd I have Thanksgiving with and despite the restaurant biz in-group gossip which I can’t follow, I’m more relaxed now, feel like I belong. When Sally scolds me for annoying her cat, she excuses herself by saying I’m family.

Rolf, the chef, is Swiss. His temperament tends towards the formal. He ‘s lowkey co-dependent, always making sure everyone else is OK, a really nice guy.

As we sit down over drinks on the rear terrace, Rolf clinks his glass and calls upon us, Americans all, to say something appropriate to the occasion. It is America’s birthday after all. The gathering falls silent. I chime in to say how we don’t even know the words to our own national anthem. I then relate my well-worn anecdote about how when I was in Cuba I was invited to a meeting of the Committee for the Preservation of the Republic, a gathering that swelled to about 200 people and when asked about their national anthem, they all sang it a capella.

We are in the midst of World Cup, everyone has been watching as much as they can and people have been picking favorites. I remind them that two World Cups ago, the Iranian team sang their national anthem while the USA, their opponents, idly chewed gum when the Star Spangled Banner was played.

And if this wasn’t enough of a tirade, mind you I’m the only one not drinking, I then launch into my main lecture, grinding on how while America was whatever, some people, guess who, did not yet have equal rights. I did go on a bit. Among fellow progressives I can get very, very preachy.

I go on about what am I supposed to do, a life long Democrat, when six New York state senators, all Democrats, vote against gay marriage? My dream is that we have more political parties in our country, more fringe groups, more extreme groups.

I am a secret Socialist, maybe a moronic Communist. I am frustrated and angry and I am about to ruin a party. Rolf glowered at me across the table. His brother-inlaw, Sally’s son, a man of dry wit, looked at me and announced, “Eric, you’re a gay basher!” And we all laughed, the situation defused, and then dug into the feast.

It’s true. I never pass up an opportunity to kvetch. Nothing is good enough yet.

During the New York mayoral campaigns one Saturday morning I exited Chelsea Markets and ran smack into Jerry Nadler and Christine Quinn. He is straight and an ardent campaigner for equal rights, she’d cut a deal with the devil to further her own ambitions. That’s exactly what

she did do, supporting Bloomberg in his vulgar drive for a third term. I was not pleasant to her. And yes, she is an “open Lesbian,” but deal making nevertheless riles me. Do all politics have to be slimy?

It is borderline pathetic that I act this way in the most progressive city in the United States. But it’s a city of strongly held opinions and at least people know what the fuck I’m taking about. Can’t be sure of that everywhere.

I just die every time I get on a lecture toot and the response I get runs along the lines of well, everyone really is understanding, etc. People believe that if they are tolerant and friendly to queers, all is well. The goddamn laws don’t change.

Liberals can be so lazy!

A couple of nights later I went to “Gay Blues”, a 10 p.m. one-man stand up presentation sprinkled with a half dozen songs and not without charm. The performer, Mathew Cleaver, 24 years old and fresh from Ohio, focused on the struggle for marriage equality. In fact a percentage of the gate was going to an organization with that very name.

The youngish crowd responded well to his performance, maybe they’re friends, fellow acting students. Cleaver sang well, knew how to flirt with his audience. The only person close to my age is sitting next to me. Before the show began we gossiped about plays, what we’ve seen and liked.

He’d been around, so have I. At the end of the hour-long show, midst the cheering and stomping my neighbor and I exchanged glances, then opinions. Seems like we are the only two present who have not had the greatest night of our lives. This kid has explained, at length, about Stonewall, Mathew Shepard, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, DOMA, you name it, all in the hopes of rousing his audience to take action. Those are the times my neighbor and I have lived through, not read about online, or googled! We’ve been taking action for years or groaning in despair.

The performance struck me as fake, assumed, presumptuous. My neighbor and I have the welts, the scars, the weariness that comes from a life lived on the margins and fighting for change. I wanted to grab the kid by his neck and shake him! On the other hand, battles always need new recruits, hopefully not just as cannon fodder. Once again, I find myself stuck in a sour place, malcontent, a gay basher. Sure, I’m bitter. What planet do you live on?

E-mail: ELBCAD@RIT.EDU

Cleaning My Closet Outlook

By Meredith Elizabeth Reiniger I am third in line. Chronologically.

I like to have my morning coffee on the front porch.

Our little home sits far from the road on an island of serenity. Two sides of our triangular lot are tree-filled sanctuaries for creatures that fly and hop and scurry.

I look out at the colors… purple butterfly bushes, sun yellow coreopsis, bold white Shasta daisies. The butterscotch coat of Frankie the cat bursts through green hostas. I do so love to make our yard delirious with leaves and flowers.

But the yard work is not done, not completed Memorial Day weekend as I had planned. Our driveway still holds five yards of topsoil and five yards of mulch.

The weeds are winning the war in my gardens. Our trees have no tidy, groomed circles around their bases as I had hoped.

Playing in my yard has become an enormous challenge.

For years I have wondered why my sister did not do her garden work herself. Wondered how could she give up the smell of damp soil and the feel of the shovel sinking into the dirt.

This year, year sixty-six, I have ten gardens and eight trees and it is August. Now I understand why my sister, first in line chronologically, needs those hired hands.

In June, the last member of the previous generation left our world. Aunt Ruth wanted no fancy funeral, no body viewing. Honoring their mother’s wishes, my cousins planned a simple graveside gathering. The many she had touched congregated on the cemetery grass. A soft breeze brushed our faces.

Cousin Bobbie spoke about the mementoes she had gathered to remind us of her mother’s recent life… the well worn-TV remote, her horse racing sheet, a dog biscuit for her canine friend and a picture of David, the eldest of her six children. The first to die.

My pretty boy cousin David. He survived the war in Vietnam. Last year a bullet took his life as he helped a friend escape domestic violence. His death was not in chronological order.

My family of origin was not close to that part of the family. I have only vague memories of playing with David and Bobbie. But I have clear images of our elders supervising us as we silly-ed in Keuka Lake. The Winters women… Aunt Ruth, Aunt Jane, Aunt Thelma, and Mommy… sitting on the shale beach, legs curled to the side, eyes scanning the heads bobbing in the water. A loving bunch of family gathered on Uncle Ward’s WWII army blanket.

When I was forty-eight, I felt the need to gather another caring bunch of family around my table. I sought their encouragement. Maybe because another Lesbian Love had left me. Same story.

Another Woman: more interesting, more fun, younger.

Or maybe, I worried, I was inherently unlovable. Or even, I agonized, maybe I was failing Lesbianism 101. Undoubtedly, I needed to revitalize my self-esteem.

I sought some resilient women to share their energy with me.

I invited my local relatives to lunch: my mother, Bessie Minnie Winters Horning, and the aunts… Emma Jane Winters, Ruth Olive Horning Kohler, Evelyn Grace Cleveland Horning, Ruth Donnegan Winters Routely. I offered cucumber sandwiches. they offered unconditional love.

Of course, they still called me Merry.

Merry… that insipid nickname my Aunt Thelma Bailey Winters Lynch foisted on infant-me. “Meredith? Don’t be ridiculous,” she told her older sister. “That name is too big for this little baby.”

So, many years later, my beloveds sat with adult-me in my I-own-it-all-bymyself-house and the Merry sound was soothing. Hearing that childhood name provided reassurance, reminded me that I was interesting, fun, and lovable. It was wonderful being with people who knew me WHEN. When I had blond ringlets curled around mommy’s fingers and tied with strips of old sheets. When my brown ponytail weighed more than I did.

When strands of my hair were yanked through holes in a rubber cap to create golden bleached streaks. When peroxide tried to mimic my birth-hair.

When dark brown roots announced my leap into the liberties of feminism.

When my silver locks celebrated my elder status.

And when my hairy legs and shaggy armpits reminded them that I was a lesbian, they accepted me. It did not matter which word they used… Merry, niece, Baby, Meredith, lesbian. Without a doubt, they were willing to share my life.

I remembered that they had always looked out for me.

Sadly that whole generation is gone from my present. It is a strange feeling to be without people who knew me WHEN. Fortunately, stories of our shared journeys surface willy-nilly. Gladly, I pull the THEN into the NOW for a reunion.

I see my mother. I cannot see her pain.

Her arm is bent behind her back, her hand gently rubbing up and down, up and down. Daily.

She sat on the hide-a-bed couch, legs curled to the side, reading. Her free hand holding her book. She stood at the stove, her free hand holding a wooden spoon.

Now that I look out through elderly eyes, I understand why she wore sweaters, even in the summer; why she pressed that hand against her spine. Why her gardens were smaller each year.

Such a time my back started to snap like bubble wrap. At first I noticed a series of pop, pop, pops whenever I leaned over or sat up. Gradually those old bones have settled into frequent groaning. I really should see my doctor before I grind something to a nub.

Yesterday, I was in my garden. Straw hat to protect me from the sun. Gallons of chemicals sprayed on my flesh and clothes to ward off gangs of biting insects. I sat on daddy’s wooden stool, leaning down to pluck out invasive woodruff and myrtle.

Three hours. Less than half done. I had to stop.

I stood up. I bent my arm behind my back, the heat from my hand comforting.

I saw my mother.

MeredithElizabethReiniger@frontiernet.net

A Few Bricks Short Take Me Out To The Ballgame!

By David Hull If you’ve ever read my column before, you probably know I’m not much of a sport enthusiast. Although I find the male athletes attractive, I’m not attracted to the ath-

letics.

After all, most sporting events just seem to entail men sweating and grunting and snapping commands at each other – now that I think about it, that sounds like a description of some really hot gay porn movie. Oh well.

Now one of my nephews is very much into sports. Baseball and soccer are his favorites. I try to support all of my nephews’ and nieces’ interests, so I went up to the attic and got out my old baseball glove so that he and I could play catch in the backyard.

“Uncle David,” he asked as he tossed the ball to me. “Did you play baseball in college?”

“No,” I replied.

“Then why do you have a baseball glove?” he said.

“Oh,” I explained. “I dated a lot of baseball players in college.”

Anyway, last month I was attending one of my nephew’s baseball games where I was seated in the bleachers with my parents on one side and my sister and her husband on the other.

I gasped as the umpire stepped behind home plate – what an outfit he was wearing! He had on an orange T-shirt, blue and tan plaid shorts and red socks with white sneakers. I know this is Little League baseball, but please!

“Well,” I commented to my mother.

“The umpire is obviously straight. No gay man would ever dress that way.”

“Just forget about it,” replied my mother, gently patting my arm. “Remember what I’ve always taught you – straight men may be different, but they are people too. Besides, you’re supposed to be here to watch the game.”

That’s just so like my mother – being all culturally sensitive and everything, but I decided she made a valid point and I began concentrating on the game, waiting

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 437 • august 2010

(Columnists continued from page 5) 4) for my nephew to come up to bat.

Now my nephew is not the most successful hitter in the league. As a matter of fact, he strikes out most of the time. My father, a baseball statistics expert and a diehard Yankees fan, tried to reassure my nephew with the information that Babe Ruth, who hit 714 homeruns, also struck out 1,330 times.

“Great,” replied my nephew. “I just want to get to first base once a game and now you’re telling me it’s okay to strike out over a thousand times!”

I decided to take my own turn at giving some advice. “Did you know,” I told my nephew, “that after getting to Hollywood Debbie Reynolds only got small parts in four forgettable films from 1948 to 1952 before she finally got the co-starring role in Singin’ In The Rain with Gene Kelly that made her a big star and allowed her to become America’s sweetheart.”

“What does any of that have to do

with baseball?” my nephew asked.

“Nothing really,” I answered. “But don’t you just love Debbie Reynolds?”

By the way, and this is totally off the subject, but I heard on the radio that Debbie Reynolds was originally hired to be one of the Golden Girls, but at the last minute she backed out and Rue McClanahan took her place. I thought that was interesting, but I didn’t tell my nephew about it. After all, I’ve got to save something to share with him in case he doesn’t pass his drivers’ test on the first try when he’s 16!

Anyway, getting back to the ball game, my nephew finally did get up to bat.

There were three kids on base – they’d all gotten there by getting hit by the pitcher – Little League is not for wimps! There were two outs. The other team was ahead by one run. And my nephew comes up to the plate with a new favorite bat he found in the dugout – a pink one. Perhaps he really did understand that Debbie Reyn-

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olds story.

He stands ready at the plate, the pitch is thrown and the umpire calls a strike.

“Concentrate on the ball!” yells my sister.

“Remember Babe Ruth!” calls my father.

“Don’t forget about Debbie Reynolds,” I shouted.

A hush fell over the field. Everyone, including my nephew at bat, turned to look at me.

I shrugged my shoulders. “What?

None of you have ever seen Singin’ In The Rain?” I said.

As the game resumed, my sister leaned close to me and whispered: “Remind me not to let you anywhere near my son when it’s time for his sex talk.”

“Oh,” I replied. “For that situation I would use Oklahoma.”

The pitcher threw the next pitch, my nephew swung and missed and the umpire called a strike.

“Keep your elbows up,” my sister yelled.

“Stay focused,” called my father.

Again there was a hush around the field. Heads turned my way. I held up my hands, shaking my head. “No comment from me.”

The next pitch was too high. My nephew stood still as the ball flew past him and then he stepped back from the plate.

“Strike three!” yelled the umpire.

I saw my nephew’s smile collapse from his face. He was sure he had made the right choice not to swing. And now it was called a strike. My nephew’s shoulders slumped as he turned for the dugout.

“Good try,” yelled my sister.

“Great effort,” called my father.

“Hey, Ump,” I shouted. “That was no strike! It was practically over the batter’s head! What are you -- blind?”

“David, stop,” said my mother, tugging on my sleeve.

“No,” I said even louder. “I won’t stop.

That was no strike. Does the umpire need glasses? I mean, he obviously has vision problems – look at that outfit! Don’t you have mirrors in your house? Or did you just mug a clown and steal his clothes?”

After the game I met my nephew in the parking lot.

“Good game,” I told him, “even if the umpire was blind.”

“Uncle David,” my nephew said. “Do you remember on your last birthday when you made us all watch Singin’ In The Rain with you?”

“Yes,” I answered.

“Well, I thought that movie was kind of lame – no aliens, no explosions, not even a car chase. But the only part I liked was when that guy danced in the rain. Do you know why I liked that part?”

“Because of the excellent choreography?”

“No,” he said. “Because it looked like fun. And that’s why I play baseball – because it’s fun. I don’t care all that much if the umpire called a strike. I just want to have fun with my friends. I know you

don’t understand much about sports, but do you know what I mean?”

I nodded my head. “Yeah, I think I do,” I said. “On my next birthday you’d rather watch Men In Black or Mission Impossible.”

“Is there any singing or dancing in those movies?” he asked.

“No,” I said.

“Okay, then, yeah,” replied my nephew. “That’s what I mean.”

You can contact David at Davidhull59@aol.com

Conundrums Changing Hearts and Minds

By Ove Overmyer According to the Victory Fund’s Chuck Wolfe, two thirds of nationally polled Americans believe same-sex couples deserve legal protections in the form of civil unions or marriage. About 75 percent believe gays and lesbians should be able to serve openly in the military. Even more say employers shouldn’t be able to fire people based on their sexual orientation or gender identity.

In the last decade, he says, these numbers have moved in only one direction -- toward fairness and inclusion. And yet, Congress still hasn’t enacted significant protections for LGBT Americans. Why? Chuck Wolfe says fear is the answer.

Fear that despite their distinct minority status, anti-LGBT extremists wield inordinate power when directly challenged.

Swat that nest, the thinking goes, and the hornets will swarm. Incumbents, especially this year, aren’t eager to add perceived obstacles to reelection.

LGBT activists often debate whether this fear is rational. It’s the elephant in the room at every conversation with a moderate Democratic senator, a gay Republican staffer for a House member, and even White House strategists.

Whether one believes it or not, Wolfe says this fear is really out there and it’s part of working in LGBT politics in Washington. It must be understood, or the conversation stops.

What Mr. Wolfe doesn’t say is that polling must be done on a state-by-state basis to have any effect on elected officials. In 23 states, the majority of their voting residents are still anti-gay. That defines the U.S. Senate and to a lesser degree the House of Representatives too.

The “false evidence appearing real” is this illogical belief that national polls should define positions of members of Congress. Politicians have voted in agreement with their constituents 95 percent of the time. Most lawmakers just want to keep their jobs — forget about passing meaningful legislation.

The Egan Study On top of this, an eye-popping study

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august 2010 • number 437 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

by NYU Professor Patrick Egan was released in June, related to polling on ballot measures on marriage equality and same-sex relationships. The study shows that voters’ opinions don’t move during electoral campaigns. Campaigns on ballot measures pertaining to the legal status of same-sex couples, including gay marriage, have minimal impact on voters. If this is true, maybe it’s time we change our strategy -- again.

The report, “Findings from a Decade of Polling on Ballot Measures Regarding the Legal Status of Same-Sex Couples,” is based on the most comprehensive compilation to date of the pre-election polls available in the states holding votes on same-sex marriage and domestic partnership since 1988 — a total of 167 surveys on 32 ballot measures.

The report additionally suggests that voters do not move on marriage equality over the course of a four to six month campaign. Both Geoff Kors of California Equality and Kate Kendell of National Council of La Raza believe that the reason voters don’t move is because they are being hit by arguments from both sides, are skeptical of all political arguments and stick with their previously known perceptions.

This does not sit well with me and it should put a bee in your bonnet too.

When walking door to door during campaigns, most voters I encounter don’t think or care all that much about marriage equality in the first place — it’s not their first priority -- they tell me they can barely pay the mortgage or rent, pay for gas or feed their families. And, with such vicious lies being spewed from anti-marriage opponents, rebuttals from our side, and offensive name calling all around – who can blame independents and the movable middle?

What this study suggests is that a political campaign is no time to start to try to change hearts and minds. So why do we do it anyway? Well, simply put, we need to get out the vote and find those

who support us and counter the opposition. A future free of discrimination and oppression for the next generation depends on it. By way of the ballot box, we need to get more gay representation at every level of government.

I believe the messaging is up to each and every individual -- right now, right here -- to reach out to the people in our lives and tell them that identity does matter. I know it’s a hard thing to do, espe-

cially when you have kids in your life or your job could be in jeopardy — but it is necessary. Speak to your neighbors, your co-workers and your relatives. They can and will move — not because of a sustained campaign TV ad, but because you took the time to tell them that your identity matters just as much as the straight couple across the street.

And while I resent how and why the gay debate often occurs, my impatience is buffered by knowing that there are so many hard working people in the LGBT Rochester community doing great political things. At the risk of being autobiographical, I am grateful to have the opportunity to fight for myself, my coworkers and union colleagues and my family. But I also realize that this fight is ultimately about how much I am willing to invest by reaching out, person by person, day after day. ■

Read all the Empty Closet columnists online. Go to

www.gayalliance.org and click on Empty Closet News

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 437 • august 2010

(Publishers continued from page 3) two five-day sessions, Aug. 15-20 and 21-26. A full 10-day session is offered for writers seeking more in-depth coaching and training.

This year’s Summit will not only offer strategic coaching, it will introduce aspiring writers to bestselling and regionally known authors, including Jeff VanVonderen, cohost of A&E‘s award-winning TV program, “Intervention,” and author of four top-selling books; Kate Braestrup, New York Times-bestselling author of “Here If You Need Me” and a new book, “Beginner’s Grace,” due out this fall; Jason Wright, author of the New York Timesbestsellers, “The Christmas Jars,” and “The Wednesday Letters” and a political commentator whose editorials have appeared in newspapers nationwide and Hart Seely, an award-winning reporter for the Syracuse Post-Standard whose humor and satire have appeared in the New Yorker, The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, National Lampoon, and on National Public Radio.

Ascent was founded by upstate native David Hazard, a 31-year veteran publishing consultant and internationally bestselling author. Hazard has consulted with Random House, HarperCollins, PenguinPutnam, Thomas Nelson, Zondervan, and other houses, and helped to launch the careers of more than 200 authors.

Hazard has published more than 30 books in his career, including “Blood Brothers,” a book that introduced Palestinian peacemaker Elias Chacour to the world audience in 1984. Chacour has since been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize.

This is Ascent’s first cooperative venture with The Woods Inn, a restored 1898 facility in Inlet, that features gourmet dining and Adirondack-style accommodations, with easy access from central New York. For more information, check visit The Adirondack Writing Summit on the web at: www.itsyourlifebethere.com/ adirondack.html or call Ascent at (540) 454-4495 between 9 a.m. and 8 p.m.

GLAAD questioned the validity of that argument since New York State legally recognizes same-sex marriages licensed in other states. Same-sex couples can now legally obtain marriage licenses in Iowa, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire and Washington D.C. NBC mistakenly equated the marriage license with the wedding celebration. Same-sex weddings are recognized as legal in New York State.

GLAAD’s Call to Action prompted thousands of people to write to NBC and urge the network to give the gay community an equal opportunity to share stories of love and commitment and allow same sex couples the chance to participate in the contest.

Finalists will be announced later this year and the wedding takes place live on the Today Show in October.

“We’re thrilled that ‘Today Show’s ‘Modern Wedding Contest’ now recognizes what most fair-minded Americans have already concluded -- a wedding celebrates love and commitment, whether the spouses are straight or gay,” said Jarrett Barrios, President of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD).

“NBC heard GLAAD and the thousands of viewers who contacted them. And they have moved to make their contest a truly modern wedding where any couple can share their story. NBC is living up to its own high standard of fairness and for this, we applaud them…. We look forward to next year when same-sex couples will have the ability to apply to the contest from the beginning.”

NBC News’ “Today Show” released a statement: “Over the past few days TODAY has received a considerable response regarding our wedding contest application. The rules stated that eligible couples must be able to be legally married in New York, where we will host the wedding, therefore excluding same-sex couple applicants.

“Our intent was not to be discriminatory or exclusive. In 2005 when the wed-

“Today” opens wedding contest to gay couples The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) on July 8 praised NBC’s decision to open the Today Show’s “Modern Day Wedding” Contest to same-sex couples. After GLAAD met with NBC executives and shared the LGBT community’s concerns, the network agreed to the changes.

The announcement came a week after GLAAD learned that the contest had excluded gay and lesbian people. Good As You blog first alerted GLAAD to the problem after discovering the contest’s application included only “bride” and “groom” as options for applicants to choose.

NBC argued that it was excluding same-sex couples because “the couple must be able to be legally married in New York, which is where the wedding will take place.”

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ding took place outside of New York, the application process was open to same-sex couples. We have listened to every voicemail and read every email. We take this feedback seriously, and we will change our application process. TODAY is a longtime supporter of the LGBT community, and GLAAD considers us an ally. We are committed to keeping those relationships strong and positive. We have opened up the application process to same-sex couples, and will extend the deadline to Monday, July 12. Moving forward, we ensure that our future wedding contests will be inclusive of all couples.”

Photo show opens at Equal=Grounds; ImageArt meets Aug. 8 The next opening at The Gallery @ Equal=Grounds is Friday, Aug. 6. The “Gentle Landscapes - Photography by Cynthia Nado” opening reception will take place from 6-8 p.m. The show runs until Aug. 31.

ImageArt to meet The next ImageArt Planning Meeting is Aug. 8, at the ImageOut Office, 274 N Goodman St., from noon-1:30 p.m. Questions: e-mail to imageart@ imageout.org

MOCHA Center plans events for August Just because Pride is over doesn’t mean that parties, cookouts and informational events are over for the summer! The MOCHA Center will host five events this month, including a Youth Dance and an All-White Party.

On Thursday, Aug. 19, MOCHA will hold a Health and Wellness event at the Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way, from 2-5 p.m. That evening, MOCHA will host its annual Awards Reception at Venu RestoLounge, 151 St, Paul St., from 7-10 p.m.

On Friday, July 20, the MOCHA

Youth Dance will take place at the Apollo Room in the Auditorium Center, 875 E. Main St., from 7-10 p,m, The MOCHA Cookout will be held on Saturday the 21st, from noon to 6 p,m, at Ontario Beach Park’s Harbor View Shelter. The All-White Party will be at Sully’s Pub, 242 South Ave., that evening from 9 p.m.-2 a.m.

For more information about any of these events, call 420-1400 ext 19.

GLAAD hosts event at P-Town Carnival Week Heading to P-Town’s Carnival Week this month? You can attend a benefit for an important national gay organization on Aug. 17, from noon–3 p.m.

GLAAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) returns to Provincetown’s Crown & Anchor during Carnival Week 2010 for the Fifth Annual GLAAD “beachBums” live auction and fashion show benefit event, presented by ABSOLUT® Vodka and aussieBum®.

Hosted by Miss Richfield 1981, this annual summer event provides music by DJ Chris Racine and supports GLAAD’s work to amplify the voice of the LGBT community.

Bid on aussieBum® swim gear during a live fashion show auction, featuring aussieBum® models, and participate in a “Stars Promoting Fairness” (SPF) Celebrity Swimwear Silent Auction, sponsored by Okobos® designer footwear; bid on autographed memorabilia and aussieBum® swim gear signed by Hollywood stars who support GLAAD. VIP Admission: $50. You will receive hosted ABSOLUT® Vodka cocktails; Priority seating and one “beachBum” Gift Bag. General Admission: $40 and receive two drink tickets and one “beachBum” Gift Bag. All admissions include a one-year GLAAD membership. ■

august 2010 • number 437 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

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First Tuesdays

7-9pm: Education Sessions St Thomas’ Episcopal Church, 2000 Highland Avenue, Rochester 14618. Guest speakers present information followed by a group discussion.

Third Sundays

2-4pm: Support & Discussion Auditorium Theatre 5th Floor 875 East Main Street Rochester 14605 Facilitated discussion to provide support to attendees while engaging the group in a variety of topics.

(Occurs at the same time as the youth and young adult support groups that occur in the Youth Center on the first floor of the building)

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 437 • august 2010

Gay Alliance News

Youth The Gay Alliance offers Youth Services for Rochester area LGBTQ and allied youth ages 13-25 Check out what’s happening at: • www.gayalliance.org • or contact JessC@ gagv.us Drop-in Monday and Wednesday 2-6pm • Support Groups • Sunday 2pm-4pm ages 13-23 • Sunday

4:30pm-6pm ages 18-25

Celeste & Shayna at the Youth pageant at Tilt.

Matt Shadows at the Youth Pride Dance and pageant.

Special Interest • Transgender Youth • Arts and Crafts • Movies • Writing

Special Events • Youth Dances • Day of Silence • Big Gay Prom • Pool Table • LGBTQ Youth Library • Internet Access Fun, friendly, safe adults are needed to volunteer their time and talents, providing positive role models, maybe sharing a talent or skill.

Contact Scott Fearing, Outreach Coordinator for an application: ScottF@gagv.us or 585-244-8640, ext. 14

Group of youth enjoying the Dance and Drag Show at Tilt.

Special Thanks to Susie Light of Brighton Securities for the support she has given us throughout the past year.

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august 2010 • number 437 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

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Program Notes

Kelly Clark with director Erin Davies at the “Fagbug” screening. Photo: Laura McSpadden

Youth kick up their heels at Pride!

Rochester Youth were out in large numbers for pride events! The Youth Pride Pageant & Dance brought 100 attendees to Tilt Nightclub on Monday, July 12.

After a nail biting, close competition, Kelly Delish and Tye Herdown were crowned the 2010 Youth Pride Queen and King.

During the rest of the week’s activities, youth were visible at the Pride Kickoff Party, Pride Parade & Festival and the Pride Picnic.

Despite an exhausting week of activities, they still are looking forward to more summer activities, including our End-ofSummer Luau scheduled for Friday, Aug. 13 in the Gay Alliance Youth Center.

Snacks, activities, dancing and drag will all be present — complete with grass skirts, fruity drinks and limbo!

And before you know it... wham!

School will have started again, along with school lgbtq educational workshops, GayStraight Alliance club support, Queer College Tours and after-school drop-in hours at the Youth Center.

Neighborhood Watch -think about it!

By Kelly Clark Tuesday, Aug. 3 marks the 27th annual National Night Out sponsored by the National Association of Town Watch. Citizens, law enforcement agencies, neighborhood watch groups, associations and block clubs around the nation will host events aimed at increasing civility and strengthening neighborhoods to reduce crime.

This got me thinking about how involved we LGBT folks are in our communities. While many of us are very involved in the LGBT community and particularly our continued struggle for civil rights, I don’t know how many of us volunteer for our neighborhood watch, attend neighborhood association meetings or volunteer for block club parties. So this month, I encourage everyone to find one thing to volunteer for in your own neighborhood. I think being a good neighbor is contagious. The more you care, the more others will care for you.

InQueery

After taking July off for Pride, InQueery is finalizing a fall schedule of classes. Keep an eye out for new class offerings, from documentary screenings, to discussion groups and other tours and events. If you are interested in teaching an InQueery class, you will find a form at www.GayAlliance.org that you can complete.

Speakers Bureau goes back to school

“Back to School” time is a busy time for the Gay Alliance Speakers Bureau!

With fall right around the corner, the requests have already started to come into the Gay Alliance for educational programs in educational settings.

“From SafeZone trainings for housing staff on campuses to staff trainings for K-12 teachers, our volunteers are out educating educators all of the time,” explained Jeanne Gainsburg, Gay Alliance Outreach Coordinator. “Our workshops seem to be the right balance of information and practical suggestions, they always get very high ratings.”

If you are interested in having a Speakers Bureau presentation, you can complete the “Request Education” form at www.

GayAlliance.org

GAGV staffer to address national conference

Gay Alliance staff member Scott Fearing has been invited to provided a keynote presentation at the annual conference of the National Center for Victims of Crime.

For the past three years Fearing has presented individual sessions at the conference, and this year, the conference planners decided to feature LGBT issues in a conference plenary session. Nearly 1,000 victim service providers, local, state and federal law enforcement officials and members of the judiciary are expected to be in attendance at the September conference in New Orleans.

Scott’s presentation, titled “It Does Matter: Towards Inclusive Services for LGBTQ Clients”, will provide information on the LGBTQ communities as well as practical tips for attendees to use to improve their own agencies services. ■

GAGV Youth and Alfred University students pose with Sir Alfred on the June 29 Queer College Tour. Front center: Jess Cohen. Center rear: Sean Soper

My Life as a Professional Gay

By Sean Soper Ten months can seem like a very short amount of time, and in most accounts it is. But, for me, it has been the duration of my time working with the Gay Alliance. For these past months, I’ve been the AmeriCorps Member placed at the GAGV. My main responsibility has been to the Youth Program, where I was not only a programmer, but also the volunteer coordinator. Besides the Youth Program, I’ve also worked as a librarian and volunteer coordinator for the Library, and as a speaker on the Speakers’ Bureau, not to mention all the other miscellaneous events, programs, and heavy lifting that are required to keep a small non-profit running smoothly. Through my time as a professional gay, I’ve definitely had some successes, some less than successes, and plenty of personal growth.

One of the things that I claim as a major accomplishment and success is the Queer College Tour program that we have created for the youth. Last fall, I spent many hours -- just as I do today -- in the Youth Center, simply spending time with our youth members. From early on, I noticed a lack of interest in higher

education on the part of the youth members. College and learning in general have always been very important to me: some might call me a nerd, and I would probably agree with them. Obviously the low expectations that the youth members had for themselves disturbed me.

With some discussion, phone calls, collaboration, fundraising, and coloring, we set out on our first college tour. Since then we’ve definitely gotten the hang of things, our latest tour to Alfred University was one of the best yet! Best of all, for me, is that the youth members who have participated in the tours are now more interested and excited about the possibilities of college! This is definitely the most rewarding part of the project for me.

It is hard to work in an intensive field like youth services without being changed yourself. I have definitely had learning experiences as a professional and as a gay; would you believe that I did not know what Stonewall was before working with the GAGV? I am certainly more comfortable having my sexuality be a part of my identity, and have come to recognize and appreciate the LGBT community, which I had only vaguely heard about before.

As my term of service comes to an end, I bid the Gay Alliance staff, volunteers, clients and board a fond farewell and heaps of well wishes. I’m proud to have been a part of such a community pillar and look forward with great expectations to the future of great things that will continue to pour from it. ■

The Gay Alliance 875 E. Main St., Suite 500 Rochester, NY 14605 • Hours Mon.-Fri., 9 am-5 pm • Phone: (585) 244-8640 • Fax: (585) 244-8246 • Website: www.gayalliance.org Empty Closet Phone: (585) 244-9030 • Empty Closet Fax: (585) 244-8246 • Empty Closet Advertising: (585) 244-9030 • Empty Closet E-mail: emptycloset@gagv.us Board President Tom Ferrarese • Executive Director Sue Cowell • Administrative Assistant Laura McSpadden • Program Director Scott Fearing Empty Closet Editor Susan Jordan • Graphics Jim Anderson • Community Safety Kelly Clark • Development Brian Doran Victim Advocate Kelly Baumgartner Youth Services Coordinator Jessica Cohen • CampusOut Assistant Marian Mull • Outreach Coordinator Jeanne Gainsburg • AmeriCorps Member Sean Soper Youth Group: Youth Center, 1st Floor - Ages 13-23 Sundays 2-4 pm; Ages 18-25 Sundays 4:30-6pm • http://youth.gayalliance.org for after school schedule and special events.

The Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley is a non-profit agency, dedicated to cultivating a healthy, inclusive environment where lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans-gender (LGBT) people are safe, thriving and enjoying equal rights. We are a coalition of individuals and groups working to empower LGBT people, to affirm their identities, and to create an atmosphere where the diversity of our community can thrive both collectively and separately. We educate and advocate for civil rights for all and for the eradication of homophobia.

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 437 • august 2010

Aids

Strong Memorial Hospital provides a complete range of HIV medical care, including access to experimental treatment protocols, and HIV testing. Also provides individual and group psychotherapy. Training of health care professionals also available. Infectious Disease Clinic, (585) 275-0526. Department of Psychiatry, (585) 275-3379. AIDS Training Project, (585) 275-5693.

Planned Parenthood of Rochester and Genesee Valley offers testing and information (585) 546 2595.

Rural HIV testing anonymous and confidential, in Alleghany, Livingston, Ontario, Schuyler, Seneca, Steuben, Wayne or Yates Counties, call 1-800-962-5063.

Action Front Center (Action for a Better Community.) Provides HIV prevention education and case management services. Training and technical assistance to service providers. Resource library open to public. All services free and confidential. Multicultural and bilingual staff. Jearald Noble, program manager.

33 Chestnut St., second floor. Hours 8:30-5 pm, Monday-Friday. 262-4330; fax 262-4572. Free anonymous HIV testing on walk-in basis, Tuesdays, Wednesdays 1-4 pm, provided through NYSDOH. Thursdays 1-4 pm at Aenon Baptist Church, 175 Genesee St. Anthony L. Jordan Health Center Prevention & Primary Care Program Provides Medical Case Management, Mental Health, Primary Care, HIV Counceling and Testing using the Orasure Rapid Test, Education presentations, and access to other Jordan services. Prevention & Primary Care is a walk-in program; no appointments necessary. Office hours: Mon.– Fri., 8:30am– 5 pm: extended hours on Monday until 8 pm. (585) 423-2879; fax (585) 423-2876.

Website: www.jordanhealth.org. For more information, call Program Director Patrick M. Trevor, (585) 423-2879.

CDC National STD and AIDS Hotline 1-800-CDC-INFO (800-232-4636) 24 hours a day. TTY service: 1-888-232-6348. E-mail address: cdcinfo@cdc.gov.

Fair Housing Enforcement Project of Monroe County 585-325-2500; 1-800-669-9777. Deals with housing discrimination on basis of race, orientation, HIV status, etc.

Public Interest Law Office of Rochester 80 St. Paul St., Suite 701. Free legal services to HIV positive persons, families. Spanish bilingual advocates available. All civil cases except divorce; no criminal cases. Ask to speak to someone in PILOR. 454-4060.

Evergreen Health Services, Buffalo Primary care, HIV and family care, HIV testing and counseling. (716) 847-0328 Westside Health Services Brown Square Health Center, 175 Lyell Ave. (2546480); Woodward health Center, 480 Genesee St. (436-3040). HIV/AIDS services, support, more.

McCree McCuller Wellness Center at Unity Health's Connection Clinic (585) 368-3200. 89 Genesee St., Bishop Kearney Bldg., 3rd floor. Full range of servcies, regardless of ability to pay. Caring, confidential and convenient.

Catholic Charities AIDS Services A multicultural and bi-lingual staff providing services to a diversity of people infected and affected with HIV.Intensive home-based case management for all ages; a clinical crisis manager; a child/ adolescent case worker; transitional case management for children and family members going through bereavement; recreational and support groups for children and teens, and camping experiences including Camp SOAR. We coordinate HOPWA (Housing Opportunities for People with AIDS) short term emergency assistance with rent/ mortgage/utility payments and limited subsidized housing. 1945 E. Ridge Rd., Suite 24, Rochester NY 14622. (585) 339-9800.

Huther Doyle 360 East Ave., Rochester 14604. Offers drug, alcohol prevention, education, treatment. Risk Reduction Plus Team offers servcies to HIV positive and those at risk through substance use.

Programs include outreach, transitional case

Resources Free testing for HIV exposure is available from New York State Department of Health: call Rochester Area Regional Hotline at (585) 423-8081, or 1-800-962-5063 for pay phones or calls outside Rochester. Deaf or hearing impaired people should call (585)423-8120 (TDD.) New Rapid HIV Testing now available — test results in 30-40 minutes! Statewide information can be obtained by calling 1-800-541-AIDS. Other organizations which provide AIDS-related services are as follows: AIDS Care AIDS Care, the leading provider of HIV/AIDS services in Rochester and the Finger Lakes, was formed by the January 2010 merger of AIDS Community Health Center and AIDS Rochester.

On-site services include: HIV testing and limited STD screenings, Primary and HIV Specialty Medical Care, Pharmacy, Behavioral Wellness, Case Management, Prevention and Education, Clinical Trials, Dental Screenings, Hepatitis C Co-Infection Clinic, Housing Services, Laboratory, Nutrition Services, Peer Interaction, Smoking Cessation, Substance Use and Addiction Counseling, Support Groups, Transportation Services, Treatment Adherence Counseling, and Women’s Health Care. AIDS Care is also a leader in providing services and education to members of the LGBT community. Contact Information: Website: www. acRochester.org. Main Office: 259 Monroe Ave., Rochester, NY 14607; Main Phone: 585-5457200 - Health Services After Hours: 585-2583363; Case Management After Hours (Lifeline): 585-275-5151; Fax: 585-244-6456. Finger Lakes Office: 605 W. Washington St., Geneva, NY 14456, 315-781-6303. Southern Tier Office: 122 Liberty St. P O Box 624, Bath, NY 14810 607-776-9166. The Health Outreach Project: 416 Central Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; 585-454-5556.

Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley provides referrals to physicians and service agencies. (585) 244-8640; www.gayalliance.org.

Victory Alliance University of Rochester Medical Center. One of several research sites worldwide that comprise the HIV Vaccine Trials Network. Rochester site conducts research vaccine studies sponsored by National Institutes of Health (NIH) in the attempt to discover a vaccine that may one day prevent HIV infection or AIDS. Imagine a world without AIDS, learn how you can help create it. 585-7562329; www.vaccineunit.org.

Center for Health and Behavioral Training of Monroe County 853 Main St., Rochester 14611. Collaboration of Monroe County Health Department and U.R. Provides year-round training in prevention and management of STDs, HIV, TB and related issues, such as domestic violence and case management. (585)753-5382 v/tty.

Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/ Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Tollfree Helpline: 1-866-600-6886. Offers confidential HIV testing and information. When you make your appointment, be sure to ask about our sliding scale fees. No one is turned away for lack of ability to pay.

Rochester Area Task Force on AIDS A collection of agencies providing a multiplicity of resources and services to the upstate New York community. Their offices are located through the Finger Lakes Health Systems Agency, which also provides medical literature and newspaper clippings, as well as demographic and statistical data for use in developing health care services. (585) 461-3520.

MOCHA Center of Rochester Our mission is to improve health and wellness in communities of color through intervention and service, with emphasis on LGBTQ programming.

Youth drop-in center, HIV testing, peer education, support groups, computer lab, referral services and more. Stop by 107 Liberty Pole Way (corner of Pleasant) or call (585)420-1400.

Monroe County Health Department at 855 W. Main St., offers testing and counseling for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases.

(585)753-5481.

management, free cconfidential testing (OraQuick Rapid Testing). NYS Dep't. of Health offers free on-site confidential and anonymous testing.

(585)325-5100, M-F 8 am-9 pm, www.hutherdoyle.com.

Geneva Community Health 601 W. Washington St., Geneva. Provides HIV testing, HIV specialty and primary care for residents of Ontario and surrounding counties.

Mon.-Thurs. 9 am-5 pm; Fridays 9 am-noon.

315-781-8448.

family Rochester Gay Moms’ Group Support group for lesbian mommies and wannabe mommies in Rochester and surrounding areas. Subscribe: RochesterGayMoms-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.

Pride & Joy Families In Rochester, contact Karen Goulet, kgoulet@ PrideandJoyFamilies.org or 244-8640 x 40.

Lesbian & Gay Family Building Project Claudia E. Stallman, Project Director, Ferre Institute, Inc. 124 Front St., Binghampton, NY 13905, Phone: (607) 724-4308; Fax: (607) 724-8290; E-mail: LesGayFamBldg@aol.com: Web: www.PrideAndJoyFamilies.org Families Joined by Love Books and resources for LGBT families. www.familiesjoinedebylove.org.

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) PFLAG’s threefold mission: supporting parents and family members in coming out process; educating the community; advocating on behalf of LGBT family members. Regular meetings: first Tuesday 7-9 pm, St. Thomas Episcopal Church, corner Winton and Highland; third Sunday, 2-4 pm, Nopper Room, fifth floor, Auditorium Center, 875 E. Main St. PFLAG@ gagv.us; 585-244-8640 x27.

LGBT health

For a list of LGBT-friendly and competent health and human service providers in the Rochester and Finger Lakes area, visit the resource directory page(s) at www.everybodysgood.com. These pages are compiled and managed by AIDS Care.

If you are a provider, or know of one, who would like to be included, contact them through the website or contact Erik Libey directly at (585) 210-4192.

Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley See www.gayalliance.org Resource Directory under “Health” for GAGV referrals to physicians and service agencies.

Women HEALTH:

Highland Hospital Breast Imaging Center 500 Red Creek Drive, Rochester 14623; 585487-3300. Specializing in breast health, diagnostic breast imaging and treatment and mammography outreach and education.

Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester 840 University Ave.; 585-473-8177; www.bccr. org; email: info@bccr.org. Breast Cancer Coalition provides support services that include Brown Bag Fridays: an informal discussion group that meets weekly from 12:00-1:30; Breast Cancer 101 and 201: programs designed to help those coping with a recent breast cancer diagnosis and those coping with an advanced breast cancer diagnosis; Sister Sak: a program that addresses the issues facing young women with breast cancer; and the Advanced Breast Cancer Support Group to support women living with metastatic breast cancer. The Breast Cancer Coalition also provides information about breast cancer, a lending library, and a monthly educational program.

All BCCR programs and support services are free.

Monroe County Women’s Health Partnership 111 Westfall Rd., Rochester NY 14692; (585)274-6978. Comprehensive breast cancer screening services for uninsured and underinsured women.

Elizabeth Wende Breast Clinic 170 Sawgrass Drive. 442-8432. Dr. Wende Logan-Young and an all-woman staff provide mammograms.

SHARE: Self Help for Women with Breast or Ovarian Cancer NYS Hotline: 1-866-53SHARE or 1-866-5374273.

AIDS Rochester Women’s Health Outreach 259 Monroe Ave. ARI has services for HIV positive women and others in the lesbian community. 442-2220.

AIDS Care 259 Monroe Ave. 244-9000; TTY (585)4619202. HIV and Primary care medical services for HIV positive women, their negative partners and family members. OB/GYN, HIV pre-test and post-test counseling. Confidential or free HIV testing.

Alternatives for Battered Women 232-7353; TTY 232-1741. Shelter (women only), counseling. Lesbians, gay men welcome.

GAGV Anti Violence Project 585-244-8640 ext 17. For women and men.

Victim Resource Center of Wayne County Newark N.Y. Hotline 800-456-1172; office (315)331-1171; fax (315)331-1189.

Mary Magdalene House Women's outreach center for HIV positive women and women at risk. 291 Lyell Ave. Open Mon-Fri. 6:30-9:30 pm 458-5728.

Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Toll-free Helpline: 1-866-600-6886. Planned Parenthood has led the way in providing high quality, affordable reproductive health care since 1916. Our experienced and compassionate medical staff will listen to your concerns and answer your questions in a warm, welcoming atmosphere. All our services are confidential.

We accept most insurances; including Medicaid. You may even qualify for low- to no-cost family planning services. When you make your appointment, be sure to ask about our sliding scale fees. No one is turned away for lack of ability to pay.

POLITICAL:

National Organization for Women (Greater Rochester NOW) PO Box 93196; (585)234-7019. E-mail: info@rochesternow.org Web page: http:// www.rochesternow.org.

CULTURAL:

Rochester Women’s Community Chorus 234-4441. (See Ongoing calendar).

ONLINE: WOWcny: e-mail: WOWcny@aol.com Rochester NY Lesbians; groups.aol.com/rochstrlesbians

GENERAL:

Women’s Resource Center YWCA, 175 N. Clinton Ave. 546-7740.

Color Outside the Line Crew Contact Jackie Williams, 482-4945.

Check our monthly and ongoing Calendars and the Gay Groups section for more groups and events. For more information, call the GAGV at 244-8640 or see www.gayalliance. org. And send us your information!

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august 2010 • number 437 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Groups

There will someone there to guide you to where you need to be. The night is for fun and having a good time.

For more information, call Matt 5205358, or e-mail mfleig@rochester.rr.com.

Hope to see you soon.

Rochester GLBTQI Motorcycle Group

Find the friends and fun you need in your neighborhood of the LGBT community.

Butch Femme Connection The Rochester Butch-Femme Connection supper club will have two events in August 2010.

On Saturday Aug. 7, we will meet at Jay’s Diner on West Henrietta Rd. (Route 15) in Henrietta at 7 p.m.

On Saturday, Aug. 21 we will meet at Mike’s Diner at Winton Place off South Winton Rd. in Henrietta at 7 p.m.

For further information on the Connection, e-mail DressyFemme@aol.com or call Kerry/Max at (585) 288-7208. We now have a Facebook page -- check out Rochester Butch Femme Connection!

Dignity-Integrity D-I Rochester continues to meet weekly at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St., corner of Broad St. We have the following services and activities for the month of August. Please note that all services start at 5 p.m.

First Sunday: Episcopal Mass, with music.

Second Sunday: Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, with music.

Third Sunday: Episcopal Mass in the Chapel; no music this week.

Fourth Sunday: Evening Prayer, followed by a potluck supper.

The theme for the August potluck is “Cool Summer Favorites”. If the summer continues as hot as it has been, this will be a very welcome meal! No time to fix something? Join us anyway; there is always plenty for everyone!

Please note: Change in meeting place.

On Sept. 5, the church will not be open on that evening (first Sunday of the month). Fr. John Andrews will preside for our 5 p.m. Episcopal Mass at his home in Lima, followed by a potluck picnic style meal. Bring what you want to grill, and a dish to pass. Paper goods and beverages will be provided. The address is 6963 West Main Road, Lima, N.Y. 14485. Fr. John and his partner John R. have a wonderful gentleman’s farm with various animals and lots of acreage to walk and relax.

All are welcome to join us!

News from the “wild west”: I’m sure you remember our former chaplain, Michael Nicosia, who moved to Denver to be with his partner, Marc. We just heard that he’s been offered a job as a hospital chaplain. In addition, he’s landed a role in a musical! We wish him the all the best.

Keep your calendar open, too, because on Oct. 3 we’ll celebrate 35 years of service to the GLBT community. Person-

ally, I think it would be great fun to have at least one person to represent each year that we’ve been a part of the community; let’s see… one times 35 equals 35. Oh, what the heck, I’ll wish for twice that number… hey, if we’re going to have a party, let’s make it a memorable one!

Want to join us for the celebration?

More details will follow in the September Empty Closet. If you are interested, drop us a line or call our Hot Line; email and phone numbers are available on our website, http://www.di-rochester.org/. We want to be sure to reserve a spot for everyone that wants to come.

EMPIRE BEARS Saturday, Aug. 7, will find members of the Empire Bears greeting friends at the monthly Bearnight at the Forum.

The theme is Bare As You Dare, but remember to keep it legal! Popcorn is free and there are great burgers outside from the street meat grill.

Many of our members have been having a great summer camping. We hope you’ll join us at Jones Pond or Hillside, where we hang out in the woods.

Wednesday evenings you can find many of us at the Wintonaire at 6 p.m.

The food is great, the service is supreme, and we always have a good time. If you’re looking for new friends, and want to meet people away from the bars, come sit with us. Events are listed at www.empirebears. org.

Gay Square Dance Group – The Lilac Squares We are dancing with other clubs for the summer, and now we are planning a demonstration dance on Oct. 2. Details will be announced when they are firmed up.

The Lilac Squares meets each Monday at the Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church located on 740 Marshall Rd; Rochester, New York 14624 at 7 p.m.

We are currently learning some unique expressions common to the gay/lesbian clubs throughout the country.

We are a lively and friendly group made up of singles, couples, men, and women, young and young at heart; when we aren’t learning new calls, we are telling stories, jokes, and lively anecdotes. We usually learn a couple of new calls each night, and if we make mistakes, our caller will review the calls for us. We are a very easy-going group, and missteps happen.

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Riding season is here and a group of us went camping at Jones Pond a few weeks ago. We are also planning a camping trip there with other motorcyclists from Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and maybe Ohio.

The dates are Aug. 6, 7 and 8.

There is more information on the Jones Pond website. Our group is made up of newbies, people who put on a lot of mileage, and long time bikers. We are all joined, apart from the obvious, by our sport, and helping each other. A real nice group of people!

For more information, look at our Yahoo group profile: RochesterGLBTQIbikers. You can also call Bob at 4676456, or e-mail bmdaniels@frontiernet. net. Let’s ride with pride!

JUST US GUYS Pride 2010 is now past, but many of our group have fond memories of good times enjoyed at the several events that took place. Our thanks to the Gay Alliance and the Pride Sponsors for another successful celebration.

On Aug. 10, JUG members and guests are invited to cruise the Erie Canal on the Colonial Belle at 400 Packett’s Landing in Fairport. The three-hour cruise departs at 6:30 p.m. with boarding approximately 15 minutes before departure. Ticket cost is $18 or $17 for seniors. Reservations can be made by calling (585) 223-9470 or www.colonialbelle.com.

A cruise may be cancelled due to inclement weather or not having a minimum number of passengers so reservations are important. Free parking is available and beverages can be purchased aboard the boat. Following the cruise you may wish to enjoy some ice cream or a beverage at one of the canalside establishments.

The group returns to AIDS Care on Sept.14 for a potluck dinner. For those attending the canal cruise, sign up for the potluck will be available.

For more information about the group, contact Ron at 223-2629 or email rmatter1@rochester.rr.com

Rainbow SAGE: How Many Days ‘til Christmas?

By Brian Hurlburt Merry Christmas everyone! I know, I am a little early, but it has been feeling like Christmas here at Rainbow SAGE. As of July 1, 2010, Rainbow SAGE of the Genesee Valley officially became a subsidiary of the Gay Alliance, to work

together for Services and Advocacy for Gay Elders.

Rainbow SAGE has always dreamed big in regards to providing more services and advocacy for LGBT elders, but we have lacked the staff and funds to do so.

Now, with the Gay Alliance behind us, we can begin to make those dreams a reality.

We will be able to use the expertise of Gay Alliance staff for programming, fundraising, development, advocacy, grants and much more.

We also hope to soon hire a parttime person who will concentrate only on LGBT senior issues. By using the talents of the Speakers Bureau, we can begin doing cultural sensitivity training with agencies and businesses that work with the senior community, to let them know the LGBT senior community is here and share with them our needs as we grow older.

We still will have all of our great programs (see below for events), plus we hope to add a few more, including workshops.

In fact, because of a proposed increase in activity, our program committee needs more volunteers. If you are a member of the Gay Alliance or Rainbow SAGE and enjoy working with a great team to help plan events and/or workshops, please let us know by sending an e-mail to rainbowsage@gayalliance.org.

Speaking of e-mail, we now have new contact information: Rainbow SAGE of the Genesee Valley/GAGV, 875 East Main St., 5th Floor, Rochester, New York, 14605. Our new phone number is 585244-8640 X15.

As you can see, we have a lot going on.

We would love for you to join us. All you have to be is 21–121 years young. Come to one of our events and get to know us, give us a call or send an e-mail. Let us know what we can do for you.

It looks like Rainbow SAGE of the Genesee Valley is heading for a “Happy New Year”!

Upcoming Rainbow SAGE Events: Men’s Group: 8/11, Contact Tony Perry at rtony13@aol.com for more information including location and time.

Rainbow SAGE Reunion Picnic: 8/15, Ellison Park, Sycamore Shelter, 11:30 a.m. arrival – 5 p.m. depart. Check this Empty Closet or our website rainbowsage.org for more information.

Women’s Group: 8/30, 11 a.m. Meet at Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. Our Euchre, Coffee & Conversation and Game Nights all return in September.

Have a great summer everyone!

Rochester Rams M.C.

Join the Rams at the Bachelor Forum on Saturday, Aug. 18 for our monthly leather and fetish night.

It’s sure to be a hot night and the perfect place to “hook up” with old friends and perhaps some new ones. The street meat guys will be cooking up great burgers, hots, sausages and all the fixin’s right outside the door and as usual the friendly (Groups continue page 16)

Elaine Elkins, M.S. Psychotherapist 244-4837

Individual & Relationship Counseling Anxiety & Depression Loneliness & Separation Conflict Resolution Communication Skills Sexual Abuse Recovery Drug & Alcohol Abuse Grief & Loss

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 437 • august 2010

(and HOT) Forum bartenders will be serving ice cold brews and the best cocktails in town.

Planning for our 35th anniversary camping run is now in high gear. The event will be held over the Aug. 27–29 weekend and attendance is limited. Run applications are available at the Forum or online at our website. If you’d like to attend or learn more about the run, please check out the details at the Rams Run link on our website.

The Rochester Rams M.C. is Rochester New York’s foremost gay motorcycle and leather club as well as being one of the oldest clubs of its type in the country.

All who are interested in the leather club scene are invited to check us out.

Our general meeting is open to the public and we meet the Wednesday before bar night at 7:30 p.m. Meetings are held at our home bar, the Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. Our next general meetings will be held on Aug. 18, Sept. 15 and Oct. 13.

For more info, visit our website: www. rochesterrams.com.

and delicious food; kudos to Jim, the culinary king at Alex Grill. All of this was possible thanks to Diane and her co-owners’ gracious hospitality, Thanks to all who made this event a wonderful success!

Below is the new vision/mission statement of the RTG that was unveiled at the wine and dine event: “To provide a safe and compassionate forum for transgender persons, their friends, their allies, their quests and inquisitive individuals.

“To provide a forum that promotes respect, kindness, civility and acceptance of all members and guests.

“To be a community resource for all things related to gender expression.

“To provide suggested guidance to persons pursuing possible transition, including the standards of care, mental health professionals, medical professionals and support organizations.

“To promote personal growth of transgender persons, their families, their friends and their allies.

“And finally, to fight for respect, equality and non-discriminatory practices for all individuals who have gender expressions variant to perceived socio-accepted ‘norms’.”

It is requested that all involved with our group will personally adopt these tenets to move our mission forward, so that we might become a landmark in the LGBT Pride community.

On July 31 the RTG had a special

Rochester Transgender Group Thanks to all who attended the Rochester Transgender Organization’s first wine and dine event at 140 Alex Bar & Grill on June 16.

Attendees enjoyed music, beverages

guest speaker, Kelly Clark, director of the Community Safety/Anti Violence Project at the Gay Alliance. She spoke about the importance of the AVP and how it works and about special plans for the Transgender Day of Remembrance this year.

Mark your calendars now for this special November event, during the RTG’s monthly last-Saturday meeting, which will be held in the GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main St., 2:30-5 p.m.

Beginning this month, the RTG will meet on the second Wednesday of the month from 6:30-9 p.m. at 140 Alex Grill in Rochester.

There will no longer be a thirdWednesday night monthly meeting.

The last-Saturday-of-the-month meeting will continue to be held from 2:30-5 p.m. at the Gay Alliance Community Room, 875 E. Main St., to the right of the Youth Center on the ground floor, in the Prince St. lobby.

kconhead@aproposfp.com www.aproposfp.com Phone: (585) 533-1950

If you have questions or comments, call Misty LaCroix, executive director of the RTG, at 454-1579.

Second Thursdays Social and Business Networking Party On Thursday, Aug. 12, “Second Thursdays” will meet for cocktails at The State Street Bar and Patio located at the Rochester Plaza Hotel, 70 State St., from 5:30 p.m.-7:30 p.m.

Grilling, drink specials, prizes and 50/50 for PRIDE will be on the agenda!

For more information: Out & Equal NY Finger Lakes or thomaso510@mac. com. ■

Kay Conheady, CFP® Fee-only

Objective advice for the LGBT community from one of your own!

271-4040

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august 2010 • number 437 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Anthony G. Sandonato, CPA, J.D. Accounting and Tax Services I am a licensed CPA with over 11 years experience.

I provide accounting and tax services to businesses, individuals, non-profit organizations, estates and trusts. QuickBooks consulting.

Free initial consultation.

585-732-5792

Joe Russo, Psy.D., CGP

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Licensed Psychologist Certified Group Psychotherapist 25 Canterbury Road, Suite 308 Rochester, New York 14607 Phone: (585) 506-6096 E-mail: drjoerusso@gmail.com

Addiction ▼ Anxiety ▼

Depression ▼ Grief/Loss ▼

Trauma ▼ Relationships ▼

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Bi/Gay Men’s Therapy Group

Norma A. Polizzi, Esq. Attorney and Counsellor at Law 2117 Buffalo Road, #112 Rochester, New York 14624 E-mail: NPEsq@Frontiernet.net Phone: 585-426-8866 • Fax: 585-426-4528 Wills • Powers of Attorney • Health Care Proxies • Real Estate

Certified Professional Pet Grooming Pick-up & Drop-off Service Available

(585) 271-2530

James Del Favero 45 Pavilion Street Rochester, NY 14620

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 437 • august 2010

August

SUNDAY 1

Lughnasad, Lammas. Ancient Celtic cross-quarter fire feast of harvest.

Through Aug. 2. (The other cross-quarter holy days are Samhain or Halloween, Oct. 31-Nov. 1; Imbolc or Candlemas, Feb. 1-2, and Beltain, April 30-May 1.

The quarter feasts are the solstices and equinoxes.)

Dignity Integrity. Episcopal Mass with music. 5 pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

WEDNESDAY 4

The Boys in the Band. Benefit for the Gay Alliance. 8 pm, MuCCC, 142 Atlantic Ave. Tickets $10-$20 (tickets for Aug. 4 available at GAGV, 244-8640). Other performances are Aug. 5, 6 at 8 pm; Aug, 7, 8 at 2 pm. 585-234-1254.

FRIDAY 6

Gentle Landscapes: Photography by Cynthia Nado opens at Equal=Grounds.

Reception 6-8 pm. Show runs through Aug. 31.

Rochester GLBTQI Motorcycle Group camping at Jones Pond with other motorcyclists. Through Aug. 8. Information: bmdaniels@frontiernet,net; 467-6456.

SUNDAY 8

Dignity Integrity Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, with music. 5 pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. ImageArt planning meeting, ImageOut office, 274 N. Goodman, noon1:30 pm. Info at imageart@imageout.org.

TUESDAY 10

Just Us Guys Cruise on Erie Canal on Colonial Belle, 400 Packett’s Landing, Fairport, 6 pm. Information: 223-2629; rmatter1@rochester.rr.com.

WEDNESDAY 18

WEDNESDAY 11

Rainbow SAGE Men’s Group. For time, location, e-mail Tony Perri at rtony13@aol.com.

FRIDAY 13

Out & Equal Pride Cruise. 6;308:30 pm, on Colonial Belle, 400 Packett’s Landing, Fairport. $35/person; tickets at Equal=Grounds; fingerlakes@outandequal.org. Advance registration and payment required. Space limited; deadline Aug. 6.

End-of-Summer Youth Luau in the Gay Alliance Youth Center. Snacks, activities, dancing and drag — complete with grass skirts, fruity drinks and limbo! 2448640 ext 13.

SUNDAY 15

Dignity Integrity Episcopal Mass in the Chapel; no music. 5 pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Rainbow SAGE Reunion Picnic.

Sycamore Shelter, Ellison Park, 11:30 am.

Food at 1 pm. Special guest Michael Kornrish, 2:30 pm. For information, directions: Saundra Ehman, 585-4734765; rainbowsage@gayalliance.org.

Fun in the Sun. Tea Dance, 2-8 pm, Mamooche Bistro, Alexander at East Ave. $20 in advance, $25 at door. 100 percent of proceeds to GAGV Anti Violence Project. DJ Hector, drag show, much more.

AIDS Care Red Ribbon Ride. Collect donations and ride in five-day ride Aug. 18–22 or one-day ride Aug. 22 (choice of 20, 50, or 100 mile routes start and end in Genesee Valley Park). Fiveday 420-mile route starts at AIDS Care Monroe Ave. office, goes through Finger Lakes region, and ends alongside one-day ride in Genesee Valley Park. To register or for information visit www.AIDSRedRibbonRide.org, call 585-210-4183, or email jdavis@acRochester.org.

Rochester Rams general meeting.

7:30 pm, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. www.rochesterrams.com.

THURSDAY 19

MOCHA Health and Wellness event. 2-5 pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way. Awards reception 7-10 pm, Venu Resto-Lounge, 151 St. Paul St. 420-1400 ext 19.

FRIDAY 20

MOCHA Youth Dance. 7-10 pm, Apollo Room, Auditorium Center, 875 E. Main St. 420-1400 ext 19.

SATURDAY 21

19th Amendment Festival. 90th anniversary of women winning the vote.

11 am-6 pm, Susan B. Anthony House, 17 Madison St., and in the park down the street. 11 am-4 pm: Hochstein School of Music performers. 4:30 pm: Cecelia St. King, “peace troubadour”. Tours, artisans, much more.

MOCHA Cookout. Noon-6 pm, Ontario Beach Park Harbor View Shelter.

Mini-ball 4-5:30 pm. All-White Party, 9 pm-2 am, Sully’s Pub, 242 South Ave. 420-1400 ext. 19.

Rochester Rams Bar Night. Leather and Fetish Night. 9 pm-2 am. Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave.

SUNDAY 22

Dignity Integrity Evening Prayer, followed by potluck supper. 5 pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Womonstock: HER outdoor multiartist event. Art and performance by women, 3-7 pm, Ellison Park Creekside Lodge. $12; groups of three or more $8/ person. Featuring the women of Sistas Sayin Somethin; produced by Culture Starts With Art and Evolutionary Girls.

Families welcome, wheelchair-accessible, ASL interpreted. 442-5432.

FRIDAY 27

Get S’more Shabbat service. Temple Beth David outdoor service with cookout.

Registration by Aug. 23. 381-6890.

Rochester Rams 35th anniversary camping run. Through Aug. 29. Information at www.rochesterrams.com.

MONDAY 30

Rainbow SAGE Women’s Group.

Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave., 11 am.

MONDAY 16

Empty Closet deadline for September issue. 244-9030. All e-mails about advertising should go to ecads@gayalliance.org. E-mails about articles and all other matters still go to susanj@gayalliance.org.

You Deserve To Have Your Marriage Blessed & Celebrated Rev. Denise Donato • revdenise@rochester.rr.com • 585-329-0895 14 years experience preparing and celebrating gay & straight marriages

Classifieds Classified ads are $5 for the first 30 words; each additional 10 words is another $1.

We do not bill for classifieds, so please send or bring ad and payment to: The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14605. Paying by check: checks must be made out to Gay Alliance or GAGV. The deadline is the 15th of the month, for the following month’s issue. We cannot accept ads over the phone. Pay when you place your ad. We will accept only ads accompanied by name and phone number. Neither will be published, but we must be able to confirm placement. The Empty Closet is not responsible for financial loss or physical injury that may result from any contact with an advertiser. Advertisers must use their own box number, voice mail, e-mail or personal address/phone number.

SERVICES

Rochester’s Best Man to Man Rubdown. Unwind with this degreed, employed, fit, friendly, healthy, Italian GWM. Middle aged, 5’8”, 16 5lbs., 32” waist, nonsmoker, d & d free, HIV negative. My 10 plus years experience guarantees your relaxation and satisfaction.

Hotel visit, in call in my home or out call in your residence. Reasonable rates. Discretion appreciated and practiced. Don’t delay, call me today at 585-773-2410(cell) or 585-235-6688(home) or e-mail me at: magichands@rochester.rr.com.

House Boys/House Girls. Landscaping, shopping, errands, handy work, cleaning, driving, windows, house/pet sitting, making dinners, moving in/out help.

Contact: 585-241-0091. Free quotes. References available.

Treat yourself to a very soothing, relaxing massage by a licensed massage therapist. Massage reduces stress and can enhance your well-being. Convenient central locations. Call John at 585-314-0197.

FOR SALE

Malibu outdoor lights. 50-foot string of four. Brand new, never unboxed. $79 value for $65. 385-7931.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Scholarship funds available. The Rainbow Amateur Radio Association, serving the GLBT community of ham radio operators since 1995, seeks a young individual who can qualify to receive some college scholarship money, probably $1,000. Must be high school student, male or female, who intends to head to college, and is either a ham radio operator currently, or enrolled in a class to obtain his or her license. For information, check out our web site: www.rara.org; to apply, contact PO Box 18541, Rochester, NY 14618-0541.

HELP WANTED

Our company is looking for a competent account rep or bookkeeper to strengthen our organization and work part time/full time; must also have more than two years of experience in accounting services. Any interested party should email with the qualifications to Mr. Steven Gills, steven_g101@yahoo.com or mrbendarten@hotmail.com.

Veterinary Hospital Andy Fleming, DVM Aida Aponte-Lann, DVM 1311 Marsh Road Pittsford, NY 14534 (585) 248-9590

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august 2010 • number 437 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Ongoing Calendar

Gay & Lesbian Cancer Support Group Second Thursdays, 6-7:30pm, Gilda’s Clubhouse, 255 Alexander St. RSVP: 423-9700; info@ gildasclubrochester.org

Monday

FRIDAY

LGBT Support Group New Life Presbyterian Church, 243 Rosedale.

First, 3rd Mondays, 7:30-9:30 pm. Carol, 482-3832.

Lilac Squares Gay Square Dance Group Mondays, 7pm, Open Arms MCC, 740 Marshall Rd. 520-5358; mfleig@rochester.rr.com.

Free syphilis testing AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave., 5-8pm. 442-2220.

Rochester Historical Bowling Society 7:15pm, Mondays. Clover Lanes, 2750 Monroe Ave. (Group is full.)

HIV Positive Gay Men Support group Every Monday, 5pm, AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. GAGV Youth Drop-In Hours Mondays, Wednesdays, 2-6pm, GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, first floor. 244-8640, ext 13.

Frontrunners/Frontwalkers Mondays, 6pm, George Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org.

Steps Beyond Stems Crack Support Group Mondays, 7-8pm, 289 Monroe Ave. GAGV Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center Every Monday. 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640.

Tuesday Just Us Guys Gay men of all ages. Second Tuesdays, 6:30pm, AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. 223-2629 Civil Rights Front Every Tuesday, 7pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. http://www.civilrightsfront.wordpress.com Two Spirit Group Second Tuesdays, 7:30pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. PFLAG program meeting First Tuesdays. 7-9pm meeting.

St. Thomas Church, Winton & Highland.

CampusOut Coffee Night First Tuesdays, 7-10pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. MOCHA Youth Drop-In Tues.-Fri., 1-9pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way, 420-1400; 244-8640 MOCHA Hepatitis Clinic Free Hepatitis A & B vaccinations, third Tuesdays, 5:30-7pm, 107 Liberty Pole Way, 420-1400 Rainbow SAGE Yoga 6-7pm Open Arms MCC, 125 Norris Drive, 442-6369.

Pride 2010 committee meeting Third Tuesdays. GAGV Community Room, 1st floor, 875 E. Main St. 6:30-8pm. Everyone welcome to plan Pride 2010 (July 11-18).

244-8640.

Women’s Community Chorus Rehearsals each Tuesday, 6:30-9pm, Downtown United Pres. Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh Street.

234-4441, www.therwcc.org Free HIV Testing Every Tuesday, 9am-7pm. AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave.

Wednesday Charlie’s Group Third Wednesdays. Monthly peer-facilitated suppport group for married men who have sex with men. Confidential, free. 6:30pm. For info: Scott, 244-8640 x 20; ScottF@gagv.us.

Country Line Dancing/Two Stepping Every Wednesday, Muthers, 40 S. Union, 7pm, Lessons followed by dancing until 10pm, Beginners to advanced.

U.R. Pride Network 7:30pm, Gamble Room in Rush Rhees Library. urpride@gmail.com

Transgender Group Third Wednesdays. 6:30-9pm. 140 Alex Bar & Grill 140 Alexander St. second floor meeting room Gay Alliance Board of Directors Meets Third Wednesdays, 6pm, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640 New Freedom New Happiness AA Gay meeting, 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd. Men and women. Open.

Support Group for Parents Who Have Lost Children First, 3rd Wednesdays, 11am-12:30pm, Third Presbyterian Church, 4 Meigs St. Genesee Region Home Care. Free. 325-1880 COAP Come Out and Play. Business meeting last Wednesday. Equal Grounds Coffee Shop, 750 South Ave. 7pm, John S., 261-7263.

Empire Bears First Wednesdays, 7:45pm, GAGV Community Center, 875 E. Main St., fifth floor. info@ empirebears.org Rochester Rams General Meeting 2nd Wednesdays, 7:30pm, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. www.rochesterrams.com Multicom-4 Coffee Talk 7pm, Spin Café, 739 Park Av. Social for former Multicom-4 BBS members; other glbt cyber geeks welcome, every fourth Wednesday, 8pm Brothers Keeper Support group for men over 30. Third Wednesdays, 5:30-7:30pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way. 420-1400 GAGV Youth Drop-In Hours Mondays, Wednesdays, 3-7pm, GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, first floor. 244-8640 ext 13.

Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 6pm, Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org.

GAGV Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center Every Wednesday. 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640.

Thursday Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns 6:30pm, first Thursday. Ralph, 271-7649 Queer Radical Reading Group First and third Thursdays, 7pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. Pride at Work First Thursdays, 5:30pm. 167 Flanders St. off Thurston Rd. 426-0862.

Trans Action Group (TAG) Information: Peter Vaillancourt, sk8forether@ gmail; list serve at transactiongroup@ googlegroups.com GLOB&L (Gays and Lesbians of Bausch & Lomb).

Meets every third Thursday in Area 67 conference room at the Optic Center. Voice mail: 338-8977 Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus Downtown United Presbyterian Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh St. 6:30-9pm, 423-0650 Free confidential walk-in HIV testing Every Thursday night, 5-8pm, AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. 442-2220 Partner Bereavement Group First and third Thursdays, 5:30-7pm. Open dropin session; professionally led. Freewill donation to hospice requested. Lifetime Care, 3111 Winton Road, 214-1414 MOCHA/GAGV Youth Trans Group First Thursdays, 5-7pm, GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main St., first floor (Prince St. entrance).

244-8640 ext 13.

AQA Support group for transgender people of color.

Third Thursdays, 5:30-7pm, MOCHA, 107 Liberty Pole Way. 420-1400.

Second Thursdays Social and business networking, 5:30-7:30pm.

Changing venues. E-mail fingerlakes@ outandequal.org

Gay Men's AA meeting Fridays, 7:30-8:30pm, Closed meeting. Emmanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. GLBTQI Motorcycle Group Second Fridays, 5:30pm, Various locations.

RochesterGLBTIQbikers@yahoo.com; 478-1565; bmdaniels@frontiernet.net.

SATURDAY Rochester Rams Bar Night Third Saturdays, 8pm-2am, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. 271-6930 Empire Bears Bar Night First Saturdays. Bachelor Forum, 470 University Ave. www.empirebears.org.

Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 9am, George Eastman House parking lot.www. rochesterfrontrunners.org.

Empire Bears Potluck 2nd Saturdays, GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main, first floor, Prince St. entrance. 6:30pm greet; 7pm dinner. Bring dish to pass. www. empirebears.org.

Cross Dresser Support Group First Saturdays, 6-9pm, call for location: 251-2132; RCDNET@hotmail.com Transgender Group Last Saturdays, 2:30-5pm, Gay Alliance Community Room, 875 E. Main St., first floor (next to Youth Center).

Guys Night Out Third Saturdays. Social group for transguys. 1pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. tguysnightout@ gmail.com.

Saturday Night Special Gay AA 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd. S. Men and women. Open meeting.

Lilac Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf (LRAD) 2nd Saturdays, 6-9pm. rcoaster@rochester.rr.com

Sunday Parents Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) Third Sundays, 2-4pm. Nopper Room, Gay Alliance, fifth floor, 875 E. Main St. PFLAG@ gayalliance.org.

GAGV Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center Every Sunday. 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640.

Tawa Pano Unity Fellowship Church Sundays, 10am, Auditorium Center, 875 E. Main St., Prince St. wing. 568-8391 Dignity-Integrity 5pm, St. Luke’s/St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Every Sunday, 234-5092 Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church 740 Marshall Rd., Chili, 10:30am. 271-8478 Gay Men’s Alcoholics Anonymous St. Luke’s/St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. 8:30pm, 232-6720, Weekly.

Closed meeting GAGV Youth Group Ages 13-23. Every Sunday, 2-4pm, GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. or satellite location. For weekly location check Youth Calendar, www. gayalliance.org or e-mail Jess at JessC@gagv.us.

Rainbow SAGE First Sundays: Euchre Club, 3-6pm. Third Sundays, Potluck at First Universalist Church, 150 S. Clinton Ave., 4pm.

Men’s Cooking Group Third or fourth Sundays, 355-7664.

AA Meetings in Rochester Every week there are four regularly scheduled GLBTI AA meetings in Rochester.

Wednesdays

New Freedom/New Happiness Group

7 p.m. at the First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: Take the last #18 University bus to 12 Corners. Use the stop just past the top of the hill at Hillside Ave. and before Highland Ave. Or take the #1 Park Ave. to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton. This is an open discussion meeting. All issues – as they relate to our alcoholism/addiction and recovery – are fair game.

Fridays Gay Men’s

7:30 p.m. Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. • Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • Handicapped accessible This is a round-robin discussion meeting. If you are shy about meeting people or speaking up in a group, you will find this meeting particularly warm and inviting because everyone gets their turn to speak (or pass). As a result, this meeting often runs long, so plan on more than the usual hour.

Saturdays

Saturday Night Special

7 p.m. at the First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: The #18 University Ave. bus does not go by the church on weekend evenings. Take the #1 Park Ave. bus to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton.

• Open meeting, all are welcome, “straight-friendly” • Mixed men and women • Handicapped accessible, take the elevator to the basement Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

Sundays

Rochester Gay Men

8 p.m. at St. Luke/St. Simon’s Episcopal Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Bus riders use the Fitzhugh St. stop on Main St. at the County Office Building and walk south one block.

• Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • NOT handicapped accessible Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 437 • august 2010

Fun in the Sun 2010 A Tea Dance to support the Gay Alliance Anti-Violence Project Sunday, August 15, 2 to 8pm Mamooche Bistro (Corner of East & Alexander, Rochester, New York) Tickets: $20 advance, $25 at the door (All proceeds go to the Gay Alliance Anti-Violence Project.

Community support, in light of the budget situation in New York state, is critically important.)

Ticket holders will get into the 8pm Drag Show free of charge.

Honorary Host Edward Moody of 13Wham News Drag Show Hosted by Kyla Minx with DJ Mighty Mic

Featuring Poison Waters • Vanity Faire • Samantha Vega • Kasha Davis • Miss Deelicious • Aneal Pleasures Appetizers & Cash Bar • Door Prizes • Silent Auction • DJ Hector Sponsored by: Law Offices of Richard A. Kroll and Mamooche Bistro