Empty Closet, June 2016

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NUMBER 501

G ALLERY Q

The Empty Closet

Manuel Pena’s art at Gallery Q… page 27

I’m from Driftwood… page 7

A PUBLICATION OF THE GAY ALLIANCE

JUNE 2016

Jo Meleca Voigt, Anne Tischer and Brian Silva at 140 Alex on April 24. More photos page 10.

120 celebrate MEUSA’s 20-year fight for marriage equality

By Susan Jordan Over 120 people attended the April 24 celebration of Marriage Equality USA’s 20-year struggle for legal marriage for LGBTQ couples and recognition for our families.

The event at 140 Alex Bar & Grill honored local marriage activists including Jo Meleca Voigt, Todd Plank, Ove Overmyer and Courtney Finnerty. Anne Tischer talked about the Rochester community’s contributions to the state fight for marriage equality, and mentioned the advice to “be yourselves” offered to her and Buffalo organizer Kitty Lambert by Cathy Marino-Thomas of MEUSA. Brian Silva of MEUSA, on a national thank-you tour was the special guest. He spoke about

the organization’s long national campaign, which contributed to the 2011 victory and urged support for the LGBTQ rights movement’s new goal – Congressional passage of the Equality Act, which would provide basic civil rights protections for LGBTQ people across the country. He then led the crowd in a champagne toast.

Local speakers included NYS Assembly member Harry Bronson, Brighton Town Supervisor Bill Moehle, trans activist Pamela Barres, City Council members Elaine Spaull and Matt Haag, labor leader and longtime ally Jim Bertolone and, from Mayor Warren’s office, Jim Smith and Andreas Rau. A drag cabaret upstairs raised funds for the Gay Alliance’s Big Queer Prom. ■

Fagbug creator Erin Davies.

“Fagbug” owner assaulted by man in Syracuse Nigel Tan posted on gaystarnews.com: The owner of the “Fagbug,” a Volkswagen Beetle known to be a symbol of gay pride, was reportedly attacked by a man while she was at a post office in Syracuse, New York.

Erin Davies, 38 (EC: she visited in Rochester in 2010), took it to social media on April 29 to talk about the altercation which happened to her at the Colvin Elmwood Post Office at 2200 S. Salina

Street on 23 April.

“After nine years of doing Fagbug, I took comfort in the fact that no one ever attacked my physically. I went to all 50 states and never had that happen,” Davies wrote on her Facebook page.

She went on to describe how she was approached by a male stranger while she was standing in line in the post office that day.

“A complete stranger came in behind me at the post office, stood behind me, [spat] on the floor behind me,” said Davis.

“And when confronted for doing so by the woman working there, he told her he didn’t spit on the (Fagbug continues page 3)

The ROC Pride committee has been working tirelessly to produce the ROC Pride Fest 2016. A core group of about 20 community volunteers has been meeting since February to put together the many pieces that make up Rochester’s unique Pride celebrations. There are many other volunteers that have helped along the way, and many more volunteers will be needed during Pride week.

Co-organizer Sam Brett said, “The magic of Pride only happens because of the effort and talents of many volunteers.

You’ll meet people from around Rochester, have fun, sweat a bit, and undoubtedly leave feeling good! At the end of the day you will have helped create a space for thousands of LGBT people to come out and show their PRIDE!” If you would like to step up, pitch in, and make magic happen as a volunteer this year, please go to: http://www.gayalliance.org/ pride/volunteer/ Another piece of Pride that is important to organizers is programming activities for all attending Pride. “We realize that we won’t be able to please everyone, but we can certainly try to listen to what people want to see and balance that with what we are able to create for the community,” Brett said. “Community forums and online feedback played an important part in making some difficult decisions this year.

“With the support from the City of Rochester, and the Board of Directors of the Gay Alliance, we decided to move the weekend festivities to one location, Cobbs Hill Park. It’s a bold move, but one organizers feel is the right one. It creates a home base for all things Pride, maximizes our programming space, while minimizing the extra work that came with having a festival and picnic and other events in many separate locations.”

Co-organizer Lora Thody commented, “The move to Cobbs Hill is very exciting. The

before, utilizing a new ‘roadway’ to enable wheelchair and crutches to easily traverse the grounds, and featuring interpreters at every performance. The space at Cobbs Hill is very exciting. The space is as diverse as the event itself!”

Sam Brett added, “While planning Pride comes with a lot of challenges, many aspects have been made possible with the help of our sponsors and partners. Parking and transportation to and from the festivities has always proven difficult for both organizers and participants alike.

“This year we have secured (Pride continues page 3)

location is lush and green with lots of shade and allows us to have many different areas for people to visit. We have room for activities of all sorts, from family fun to club entertainment.

“The idea of joining together the festival and picnic has meant that the festival can continue to be what it has always been, and the picnic can continue to be what it has been, without an artificial separation. We are trying to create the atmosphere of a village, where food, shopping, entertainment and activities all take place in adjacent spaces.

“The events this year will be more accessible than ever

Inside

Pride album… page 17

PHOTO: DOUG MESZLER

PHOTO: SUSAN JORDAN

Rochester Pride update: making the magic happen

Editorials....................................... 2 Interview: Ben Eshelman.............. 7 Making the Scene.......................... 10 Opinion: Giving back...................15 Health: No smoking ....................16 LGBTQ Living: Pride’s past .......17 Shoulders To Stand On ...........21 Columnists ................................22 Community ................................25 Entertainment: Manuel Peña..........27 Gay Alliance: Ride for Pride ......30 Calendar.....................................34 Classifieds..................................34 Comics........................................35 The Gay Alliance is publisher of The Empty Closet, New York State’s oldest LGBTQ newspaper.

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THE EMPTY CLOSET • THE GAY ALLIANCE • NUMBER 501 • JUNE 2016

Perspectives The Empty Closet Editor SUSAN JORDAN

P.C. “In 2016 being politically un-correct is the feature of the day…. We’re actually proud of language and behavior that’s rude, divisive and dismissive….

Our role model in leading the charge is a key presidential contender…. I’d prefer to create space where we can listen and learn from one another and grow together rather than apart.”

So wrote Steven Jarose of Unite Blog on the May 7 D&C Opinion page. This publication couldn’t agree more.

As a ‘70s feminist, this editor has witnessed the evolution of the term “p.c.” Back then it was used by feminists to call out those whose rigid, self-righteous outlook precluded free discussion of the issues and who consistently put down their feminist sisters in order to show how superior THEY were. To some, this arrogant one-upmanship was more important—and certainly easier – than confronting the real and scary problem: woman-hating patriarchy. The horizontal hostility displayed by the politically “correcter”than-thou was a major factor in weakening that wave of feminist activism.

But then the Right noticed the term. And soon they were using it to condemn anyone who raised ANY issue of sex-

ism, racism, homophobia, class privilege, etc.

You’re black, Asian, Native American, Latino/a, disabled, female, gay, trans and/or working class? And you want to talk about the hatred and obstacles you’ve encountered? Forget it. “Shut up and stop being p.c.” The privileged have found another way to silence and dismiss the people they regard as inferior – and as threats to their privilege.

Ironically, the Right now has its own rigid p.c. agenda. Anyone who deviates from the extremist-approved line is condemned. You’re not a p.c. conservative if you don’t agree on things like climate change denial, the superiority of “Aryans” over people of color, the destruction of gay families and, the issue now dominating the headlines, the demonization of trans people.

Dialogue? Compromise? To the hardcore fanatics on the Right, no compromise is possible -- whether with their gay neighbor or their African American president.

Attorney General Loretta Lynch recently gave a brilliant response to the Right’s p.c. line on “bathroom bills” and how the tactic continues the conservative fight against integration in the ‘60s: “Let us reflect on the obvious but often neglected lesson that state-sanctioned discrimination never looks good in hindsight. It was not so very long ago that states, including North Carolina, had signs above restrooms, water fountains and on public accommodations keeping people out based upon a distinction without a difference.

We have moved beyond those dark days, but not without pain and suffering and an ongoing fight to keep moving forward.

Let us write a different story this time. Let us not act out of fear and misunderstanding, but out of the values of inclusion, diversity and regard for all that make our country great.” ■

Gay Alliance Board of Trustees David Zona, President W. Bruce Gorman, Secretary Jason Barnecut-Kearns, Paul Birkby, Kim Braithwaite, Jeff Lambert, Jennifer Matthews, Colleen Raimond

Gay Alliance Executive Director SCOTT FEARING

Evolution I recently watched a brief documentary in which an older trans-woman talks with a younger trans-woman. It is that age difference that I want to focus on right now.

The film begins with the elder asking the younger a common enough question, “When did you get a feeling that you were different?”

The answer begins with “When I was younger...”, which brings a smile to the questioner’s face. The smile comes in recognition that the passage of time is so relative. No matter the age, we all use the context of “when I was younger” as a way to measure change in ourselves and in the world around us.

The older listens and nods in appreciation and adds the occasional “yup, me too...” as a way to build commonality in their experiences.

The conversation between the two of them moves through talk of school, family, friends and general issues related to growing-up. There is a clear distinction between the two of them and their experiences.

The young woman, with excitement and confidence, talks of supportive parents, supportive friends and finding her way to her identity.

After listening, nodding and smiling, the older woman

Name

finally shares, “I’m from this city [New York] and I was just not safe. A boy tried to kill me in high school.” The young woman recoils; a look of disgust and shock shows on her face, followed by deep compassion and concern.

It is at this point that the film pivots. With the dark cloud of past dangers hanging in the air, the older says, “Now, when I look at you, I feel a sense of all that stuff that we went through. It was all worth it because now you get to breathe. And when I was your age, we just did not get to breathe. We had to struggle for every breath we took.

“You carry the history. It’s with you every time you get to enjoy a right that you are not even conscious of.” With a huge smile on her face, and her voice filled with pride and satisfaction, she adds, “You’re the evolution of us.’

It is a powerful moment, in a powerful four-minute documentary produced by Amazon, as a follow-up to their series, TransParent.

We all know that our communities are experiencing incredible change. Becoming visible and viable in whole new ways. Within my lifetime community members have gone from forced institutionalization and lobotomy to legalization of same sex relationships and increased medical options for gender alignment.

As you prepare to celebrate ROC PrideFest 2016, take time to reflect on our collective past as well as envisioning our collective future. Some believe that we have “arrived” but we at The Gay Alliance know that the work is not over. Even when full legal equality is gained and full inclusion is ours, there will be a reason for us to celebrate our identities so that we don’t forget that once “we had to struggle for every breath we took.” ■ 06/16

Address City/State/Zip Phone E-mail Gay Alliance Membership Levels: ❏ $30-99 Advocate ❏ $100 Champion ❏ $1,000-4,999 Triangle Club ❏ $5,000+ Stonewall ❏ Check enclosed in the amount of _________ (check #______) Please charge my credit card in the amount of __________ To: ❏ American Express, ❏ Discover, ❏ MasterCard, ❏ Visa Credit card # ____________________________Exp. Date: _______ ❏ I would be proud to have my donation publicly acknowledged.

Benefits: Subscription to The Empty Closet mailed to home or work, plus privileges at each level. Phone: 585 244-8640 or mail to: Gay Alliance, 100 College Avenue, Rochester, NY 14607.

Home delivery of The Empty Closet is free with your annual membership.

THANK YOU THE GAY ALLIANCE APPRECIATES THE CONTINUING PARTNERSHIP OF BUSINESSES WITHIN OUR COMMUNITY WHO SUPPORT OUR MISSION AND VISION.

GOLD Bachelor Forum City of Rochester SWS Charitable Foundation, Inc Trillium Health

SILVER Constellation Brands Empire Merchants Lake Beverage Nixon Peabody, LLP Southern Wine & Spirits Victory Alliance Waddell & Reed

BRONZE 140 Alex Bar & Grill Advantage Federal Credit Union Anderson Windows Avenue Pub Bank of America, Merrill Lynch CSEA Empire North Excellus First Niagara Fred L. Emerson Foundation Harter, Secrest & Emery LLP HCR Home Care Hedonist Chocolates Jim Beam John’s Tex Mex Joseph & Irene Skalny Charitable Trust Logical Operations New York Life NYSUT Pride at Work Prudential Rochester Area Community Foundation Rochester Broadway Theatre League Rochester Institute of Technology Three Olives Waldron Rise Foundation Wegman’s School of Pharmacy Woods, Oviatt, & Gilman, LLP

CHAMPION Bohnett Foundation Brighton Dental Canandaigua National Bank Centerlink Jimmy C. Entertainment Group Marshall St. Bar & Grill Out & Equal Park Ave Merchants Association RIT Student Association RIT Women & Gender Studies Department Rochester Kink Society Rochester Labor Council AFL-CIO Rochester Rams MC Third Presbyterian Church

JUNE 2016 • NUMBER 501 • THE GAY ALLIANCE • THE EMPTY CLOSET

PAGE ONE (Pride from page 1) parking at Monroe Square (259 Monroe Ave.), courtesy of Pride’s Presenting Sponsor, Trillium Health. Another parking location will be the First Unitarian Church on 220 S Winton Rd. “Getting from the parking location to the festival is yet another collaboration. With a generous donation from the University of Rochester and the URMC, FREE accessible shuttle services will be available on Saturday (July 16) from 1 p.m. to 9 p.m., and on Sunday (July 17) from 12:30 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. The shuttle will be at each stop about once every 20 minutes. They are big and fully accessible.

“The stops are at Monroe Square (home of Trillium Health), Cobbs Hill near the fest entrance, the First Unitarian Church, Monroe/Culver, and selected stops along Park Avenue.”

ROC Pride Fest 2016 takes place from July 8 through July 18. The main events are Friday, July 15, 5:30 p.m. FLAG RAISING; Saturday, July 16, 1 p.m. PRIDE PARADE; Saturday, July 16, 2 p.m. - 9 p.m. ROC PrideFest at Cobbs Hill Park; Sunday, July 17, noon – 6 p.m. ROC PrideFest at Cobbs Hill, part two.

What’s new: ROC Pride Games have been expanded: ROC Pride 5K Run (timed on a certified course).

Sunday, July 10, 8 a.m.; ROC Pride Volleyball Tournament “kiss my grass”, Sunday, July 10 and Sunday, July 17; ROC Pride Tennis singles tournament, Sunday July 10; and Sunday July 17; ROC Pride VideoGame tournament and Arcade night, Monday, July 11; ROC Pride Euchre Tournament, Wednesday, July 13.

Exciting partnership events include Pride Kick-off Beach Party.

Friday, July 8, Ontario Beach Park, in collaboration with the Rochester Victory Alliance; The Good, the Bad, and the Funny, Comedy and Spoken word night, LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave., Thursday, July 14; Sassy in the SouthWedge, bar and business crawl, in collaboration with Out and Equal, Hedonist Chocolates and LUX bar.

More information: www.rochesterpride.com or follow us on Facebook at Official Rochester, NY Pride (https://www.facebook.com/ RocPride/) (Fagbug from page 1) floor, that he intentionally [spat] on me, and called me a bitch.”

Maureen Marion, a spokeswoman for the U.S. Postal Service, confirmed the incident which happened at 8.30 a.m.

“The assailant did not appear to wait in line but approached the victim directly,” Marion said.

The man was later identified by the police as Casey White.

Davies said that she had never met the attacker before, and was completely stunned and speechless at what happened to her.

She was then hit on the face by the man.

“After that he hit me in the face and called me a name again,” Davies said. “Again, I was shocked.”

Post office employees had then ordered White to leave and escorted him to the exit, but he turned and charged at Davies again.

“Literally standing against a wall, I had nowhere to go,” Davies described her reaction. “[I] jumped over the post office counter, taking everything on the counter down [with] me landing on my back.”

Read the full story on gaystarnews.com

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NewsFronts LOCAL AND STATE

HONOR FLIGHT: Peter Mohr, owner of The Bachelor Forum (right), was able to go along with his father Heinz Mohr (left) last month in the 46th mission of Honor Flight that celebrates veterans. Heinz served in WWII and the Korean War. Heinz this year will turn 90. Photo: Bess Watts

Karen Monast and the late Barbara Bonin.

Barbara Bonin’s legacy will create Bear Habitat at Seneca Park Zoo

community to know about this, because Barbara was one of their own. It’s also important for the straight community to know this too!”

The new Barbara Bonin Bear Habitat will be dedicated at the Seneca Park Zoo on June 12. The dedication is a private event, but that evening, the LGBTQ community will be admitted free of charge to “Out at the Seneca Park Zoo” (see page 27).

The late Barbara Bonin’s partner Karen Monast told The Empty Closet that Barbara always loved bears. She said, “It’s important for the LGBTQ

Finger Lakes Pride Festival runs June 10-12 in Geneva The [LGBTQ] Center of the Finger Lakes announces the Second Annual Finger Lakes Pride Festival, June 10-12.

Organizers say, “This event will be a fun-filled, familyfriendly day of entertainment and activities, focusing on the diversity of the Finger Lakes area

and celebration our LGBTQ community.

We have expanded it this year to be a whole weekend of events with a movie at the Smith Friday night to kick things off and Sunday to wrap up the celebrations with a PRIDE picnic at Seneca Lake Park. All are welcome! The whole day’s festivities will conclude with an amazing drag show with performers from all over the area including Rochester.”

The Rochester’s Gay Men’s Chorus will perform, in addition to several musical acts throughout the day. The event takes place at the Seneca Street Parking Lot in Geneva, for the day or the whole weekend.

This event is a fundraiser for the [LGBTQ] Center of the Finger Lakes and a community-wide event to bring people together.

Obama to name Stonewall Inn area a national park Andy Towle posted on Towleroad.com on May 4: President Obama is making preparations to declare the Stonewall Inn and the area around it a National Park, a move that advocates have been pushing for some time.

The Washington Post reports: While most national monuments have highlighted iconic wild landscapes or historic sites from centuries ago, this reflects the country’s diversity of terrain and peoples in a different vein: It would be the first national monument anchored by a dive bar and surrounded by a warren of narrow streets that long has been regarded the historic center of gay cultural life in New York City. …

Read the full story on towleroad.com Political supporters hold press conference, public meeting On May 9, a public meeting and press conference about the plan for Christopher Park were hosted by U.S. Representative Jerrold Nadler and co-sponsored by U.S. Senators Charles Schumer and Kirsten Gillibrand, Governor Andrew Cuomo, Mayor Bill de Blasio, New York City Comptroller Scott Stringer, Manhattan Borough President Gale Brewer, State Senator Brad Hoylman, Assemblymember Deborah Glick, New York City Councilmember Corey Johnson and Manhattan Community Board Two.

Currently, Representative Nadler and Senators Schumer and Gillibrand are cosponsors of legislation pending in Congress to designate Christopher Park as a new unit of the National Park System. The proposed new national park unit would commemorate the 1969 Stonewall Uprising.

Christopher Park is located across from the Stonewall Inn in New York City’s Greenwich Village neighborhood in Lower Manhattan. Christopher Park, the Stonewall Inn and adjacent streets and sidewalks were designated as the Stonewall National Historic Landmark in 2000.

Rochester says farewell to Jimmy Catalano, beloved “Mayor of Park Avenue” Jimmy Cata lano announced on Facebook last month that he was losing his battle with cancer. His 1,600 Facebook friends and a community full of people who knew and loved him responded with an outpouring of concern and memories.

Jimmy, who grew up in Gates, was a florist for over 30 years, opening his own store at 151 Park Ave. in 1994. In 2010 he closed the shop and worked at Kittleberger Florist, focusing on design and relationships. He and his partner of 25 years, Bruce Trombley, had a beautiful, welcoming 1902 house on the Avenue with two greyhounds and a large garden.

Bruce Trombley became president of the Park Avenue Merchants Association and Jimmy was the secretary. People who lived in the neighborhood knew they could go to Jimmy and Bruce with any problems. Jimmy organized endless community events, such as the Park Avenue Festival, bringing thousands of people together, and worked to beautify the Avenue.

After the announcement of Jimmy’s situation, his devoted neighbors and friends, including the many couples he had helped to organize weddings, graduations, funerals and other family occasions, began visiting and sharing stories and goodbye hugs. Finally Bruce and Jimmy asked for a few peaceful days alone together as Jimmy prepared to leave this world; he passed on May 21. He told the Democrat & Chronicle, “It’s a life well lived.”

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THE EMPTY CLOSET • THE GAY ALLIANCE • NUMBER 501 • JUNE 2016

NewsFronts

Attorney Gen. Loretta Lynch at the May 9 press conference.

Dept. of Justice sues N.C.; Loretta Lynch stands up for trans rights The U.S. Department of Justice on May 5 notified North Carolina Gov. Pat McCrory that HB 2, the sweeping antiLGBT law that prevents transgender students, employees, and visitors from using restrooms that correspond to their gender identity, has placed the state in violation of Title VII of the U.S. Civil Rights Act, Title IX, and the Violence Against Women Act. U.S. Attorney General Loretta Lynch announced the formal complaint, filed May 9 in U.S. District Court for the Middle District of North Carolina, in a press conference at the Department of Justice in Washington, D.C. She called HB 2 “impermissibly discriminatory”.

Lynch said, “This action is about a great deal more than just bathrooms. This is about the dignity and respect we accord our fellow citizens and the laws that we, as a people and as a country, have enacted to protect them -- indeed, to protect all of us. And it’s about the founding ideals that have led this country -- haltingly but inexorably -- in the direction of fairness, inclusion and equality for all Americans.

“This is not the first time that we have seen discriminatory responses to historic moments of progress for our nation. We saw it in the Jim Crow laws that followed the Emancipation Proclamation. We saw it in fierce and widespread resistance to Brown v. Board of Education. And we saw it in the proliferation of state bans

on same-sex unions intended to stifle any hope that gay and lesbian Americans might one day be afforded the right to marry. That right, of course, is now recognized as a guarantee embedded in our Constitution, and in the wake of that historic triumph, we have seen bill after bill in state after state taking aim at the LGBT community.

“Some of these responses reflect a recognizably human fear of the unknown, and a discomfort with the uncertainty of change. But this is not a time to act out of fear. This is a time to summon our national virtues of inclusivity, diversity, compassion and open-mindedness. What we must not do - what we must never do is turn on our neighbors, our family members, our fellow Americans, for something they cannot control, and deny what makes them human. This is why none of us can stand by when a state enters the business of legislating identity and insists that a person pretend to be something they are not, or invents a problem that doesn’t exist as a pretext for discrimination and harassment.

“Let me speak now to the people of the great state, the beautiful state, my state of North Carolina. You’ve been told that this law protects vulnerable populations from harm - but that just is not the case. Instead, what this law does is inflict further indignity on a population that has already suffered far more than its fair share. This law provides no benefit to society -- all it does is harm innocent Americans.

“Instead of turning away from our

neighbors, our friends, our colleagues, let us instead learn from our history and avoid repeating the mistakes of our past.

Let us reflect on the obvious but often neglected lesson that state-sanctioned discrimination never looks good in hindsight. It was not so very long ago that states, including North Carolina, had signs above restrooms, water fountains and on public accommodations keeping people out based upon a distinction without a difference. We have moved beyond those dark days, but not without pain and suffering and an ongoing fight to keep moving forward. Let us write a different story this time. Let us not act out of fear and misunderstanding, but out of the values of inclusion, diversity and regard for all that make our country great.

“Let me also speak directly to the transgender community itself. Some of you have lived freely for decades. Others of you are still wondering how you can possibly live the lives you were born to lead. But no matter how isolated or scared you may feel today, the Department of Justice and the entire Obama Administration wants you to know that we see you; we stand with you; and we will do everything we can to protect you going forward. Please know that history is on your side. This country was founded on a promise of equal rights for all, and we have always managed to move closer to that promise, little by little, one day at a time. It may not be easy -- but we’ll get there together.”

The federal government’s complaint specifically targets the provision of the law “requiring public agencies to deny transgender persons access to multiple-occupancy bathrooms and changing facilities consistent with their gender identity.”

Lynch’s DOJ had given North Carolina leadership until May 9 to respond to a series of letters informing the state that HB 2 violates federal civil rights protections, particularly those for transgender people in employment. Instead of complying with the DOJ’s request, North Carolina’s Republican Gov. Pat McCrory filed a federal lawsuit against the federal government.

Also in response, the American Civil Liberties Union, ACLU of North Carolina, and Lambda Legal – which are challenging HB 2 in federal court on behalf of six LGBT North Carolinians – released the following statement: “It is now clearer than ever that this discriminatory law violates civil rights protections and jeopardizes billions of dollars in federal funds for North Carolina. Governor McCrory and the legislators who forced through HB 2 in a single day were warned about these dire consequences, but they ignored the law and the North Carolinians it would harm and passed the bill anyway. The only way to reverse the ongoing damage HB 2 is causing to North Carolina’s people, economy, and reputation is a full repeal.”

Title VII prohibits employers from discriminating on the basis of sex, which includes discrimination against transgen-

der individuals based on sex and gender identity. Title IX prohibits similar discrimination against transgender students and school staff. On April 20, 2016, Plaintiff Joaquín Carcaño filed a charge alleging violations of Title VII with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.

-ACLU, Lambda Legal Wade Henderson, president and CEO of The Leadership Conference on Civil and Human Rights, issued the following statement after the Civil Rights Division of the Department of Justice informed North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory that the anti-LGBT law HB2 violates Title VII of the Civil Rights Act and that enforcement of HB2 could lead to a federal lawsuit and the loss of millions in state education funding: “North Carolina has sacrificed jobs, its standing in the nation, and its moral compass in defense of this repugnant law. We hope that today’s letter from the Justice Department will convince the state that the costs of codifying hate into state law are simply too high to ignore.

“Gov. McCrory has ignored his own constituents, clergy, the business community, and civil rights advocates. Will he now willfully violate the bedrock Civil Rights Act of 1964? Will he ignore the potential loss of millions of dollars in federal funding to educate North Carolinians for the jobs of the future? Will he continue to put his state’s LGBT students and employees in harm’s way?

“We applaud Principal Deputy Assistant Attorney General Vanita Gupta for her leadership and urge North Carolina to repeal HB2.”

-Leadership Conference on Civil and Human Rights Mara Keisling of NCTE commented: “This is a historic day for transgender people and their families, who have suffered without the health care they need for too long. Equal coverage and equal treatment are medically, legally, financially, and morally right, but too often, they have been out of reach for transgender people.

We applaud Secretary Sylvia Burwell and the Obama Administration for taking action to end discrimination, and we hope that insurance companies and healthcare institutions will take swift action to comply with these regulations.”

-National Center for Transgender Equality

New government guidance protects trans students from discrimination On May 13, the U.S. Department of Education and U.S. Department of Justice released important guidance on the equal treatment of transgender students by schools and colleges that receive federal funding.

The guidance came days after the U.S. Department of Justice announced a federal lawsuit challenging North Carolina’s

JUNE 2016 • NUMBER 501 • THE GAY ALLIANCE • THE EMPTY CLOSET

CNN poll: 57 percent oppose bathroom bills Joe Jervis posts on JoeMyGod.com: Let’s see Tony Perkins spin THIS: Americans broadly oppose laws that would require transgender people to use facilities that correspond with their gender at birth rather than their gender identity, according to a new CNN/ORC Poll, and three-quarters favor laws guaranteeing equal protection for transgender individuals.

Overall, 57 percent say they oppose laws requiring transgender individuals to use facilities that do not match their gender identity, 38 percent support such laws. Strong opposition (39 percent) outweighs strong support for these laws (25 percent). There’s a partisan gap on the question, with Democrats and independents more apt to oppose them than Republicans.

But Republicans aren’t broadly in favor of them either. The poll finds Republicans about evenly split on laws like this, with 48 percent in favor and 48 percent opposed.

Republicans are divided by ideology, with moderate and liberal Republicans tilting against the laws and conservative Republicans breaking in favor. That mirrors a pattern found in surveys on support for legal gay marriage, with moderate or liberal Republicans generally more in favor of gay couples’ right to marry than conservative Republicans.

See the full poll at JoeMyGod.com

recently passed House Bill 2, legislation that includes, among other provisions, a ban on transgender students from accessing facilities consistent with their gender identity.

Winnie Stachelberg, Executive Vice President for External Affairs, released the following statement on the new guidance: “Today’s guidance from the U.S. Department of Education and U.S. Department of Justice brings us one step closer to ensuring that no young person has to wake up in the morning fearing the school day ahead. The release of this comprehensive guidance is welcome news for the countless transgender students who face bullying and discrimination every day in schools across the country.

On the heels of Attorney General Loretta Lynch’s important and moving statement earlier this week, the departments of Education and Justice have now made clear to transgender students nationwide that mistreatment of any kind will not stand, regardless of whether it is at the hand of a peer, a teacher, or even the student’s own state government. This guidance not only ensures equal access to a safe and high-quality education for transgender students, it will also undoubtedly help save lives.”

Related resources: Video: The Human Toll of North Carolina’s H.B. 2 by Andrew Satter and Sarah McBride North Carolina’s Discriminatory H.B. 2 Threatens More Than Half Billion Dollars in Economic Activity by Shabab Ahmed Mirza, Sarah McBride, and Laura E. Durso LGBT Americans and Education by Hannah Hussey We the People: Why Congress and U.S. States Must Pass Comprehensive Nondiscrimination Protections by Sarah McBride, Laura E. Durso, Hannah Hussey, Sharita Gruberg, and Bishop Gene Robinson.

Title IX Under Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972, schools receiving federal money may not discriminate based on a student’s sex, including a student’s transgender status. The guidance makes clear that both federal agencies treat a student’s gender identity as the student’s sex for purposes of enforcing Title IX. “There is no room in our schools for discrimination of any kind, including discrimination against transgender students on the basis of their sex,” said Attorney General Loretta E. Lynch. “This guidance gives administrators, teachers

and parents the tools they need to protect transgender students from peer harassment and to identify and address unjust school policies. I look forward to continuing our work with the Department of Education – and with schools across the country – to create classroom environments that are safe, nurturing, and inclusive for all of our young people.”

“No student should ever have to go through the experience of feeling unwelcome at school or on a college campus,” said U.S. Secretary of Education John B. King Jr. “This guidance further clarifies what we’ve said repeatedly – that gender identity is protected under Title IX. Educators want to do the right thing for students, and many have reached out to us for guidance on how to follow the law. We must ensure that our young people know that whoever they are or wherever they come from, they have the opportunity to get a great education in an environment free from discrimination, harassment and violence.”

“Every child deserves to attend school in a safe, supportive environment that allows them to thrive and grow. And we know that teachers and administrators care deeply about all of their students and want them to succeed in school and life,” said Principal Deputy Assistant Attorney General Vanita Gupta, head of the Justice Department’s Civil Rights Division. “Our guidance sends a clear message to transgender students across the country: here in America, you are safe, you are protected and you belong – just as you are. We look forward to working with school officials to make the promise of equal opportunity a reality for all of our children.”

“Our federal civil rights law guarantees all students, including transgender students, the opportunity to participate equally in school programs and activities without sex discrimination as a core civil right,” said Department of Education Assistant Secretary for Civil Rights Catherine E. Lhamon. “This guidance answers questions schools have been asking, with a goal to ensure that all students are treated equally consistent with their gender identity. We look forward to continuing to work with schools and school communities to satisfy Congress’ promise of equality for all.”

The guidance explains that when students or their parents, as appropriate, notify a school that a student is transgender, the school must treat the student consistent with the student’s gender identity. A school may not require transgender students to have a medical diagnosis, undergo any medical treatment, or produce a birth certificate or other identification document before treating them consistent with their gender identity.

The guidance also explains schools’ obligations to: Respond promptly and effectively to sex-based harassment of all students, including harassment based on a student’s actual or perceived gender identity, transgender status or gender transition;

5 Treat students consistent with their gender identity even if their school records or identification documents indicate a different sex; Allow students to participate in sexsegregated activities and access sex-segregated facilities consistent with their gender identity; and Protect students’ privacy related to their transgender status under Title IX and the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act. At the same time, the guidance makes clear that schools can provide additional privacy options to any student for any reason. The guidance does not require any student to use shared bathrooms or changing spaces, when, for example, there are other appropriate options available; and schools can also take steps to increase privacy within shared facilities.

In addition to the departments’ joint Title IX guidance, the Department of Education’s Office of Elementary and Secondary Education also released Examples of Policies and Emerging Practices for Supporting Transgender Students, a compilation of policies and practices that schools across the country are already using to support transgender students. The document shares some common questions on topics such as school records, privacy and terminology, and then explains how some state and school district policies have answered these questions, which may be useful for other states and school districts that are considering these issues. In this document, the Department of Education does not endorse any particular policy, but offers examples from actual policies to help educators develop policies and practices for their own schools.

N.C. school board member: pepper spray can be used on trans students Associated Press from the Salisbury Post: High school students will be allowed to carry mace in the 2016-2017 school year after the Rowan-Salisbury Board of Education agreed to remove prohibitive language and amend its policy.

The board spent some time at its work session in the Wallace Education Forum debating whether pepper spray and other defensive sprays, as well as personal shaving razors, should be allowed on school campuses.

Board member Chuck Hughes was in favor of the sprays on campuses, saying that in his mind, they were purely defensive. He also referenced HB2, saying that the sprays might be useful.

“Depending on how the courts rule on the bathroom issues, it may be a pretty valuable tool to have on the female students if they go to the bathroom, not knowing who may come in,” he said.

See more on JoeMyGod.com (Newsfronts continue page 7)

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THE EMPTY CLOSET • THE GAY ALLIANCE • NUMBER 501 • JUNE 2016

Gabrielle Hermosa

Jason Robert Ballard

Olivia Page

Sady Fischer

Jonathan Wetherbee

Matthew Krueger

Shira May

Wanda Martinez

Speakers Bureau: The volunteer talent behind the Gay Alliance’s LGBTQ Academy

By Education Director Jeanne Gainsburg The LGBTQ Academy staff is often credited for the Gay Alliance’s hugely successful education program, but what many people don’t know is that much of the success of this program is due to a wonderful group of volunteers who generously give their time and talent to assist us in educating on LGBTQ inclusion.

The Speakers Bureau has been active at the Gay Alliance since our earliest days in the 1970s and our current Speakers Bureau members carry on this long tradition of excellence. Featured below are the eight volunteer Speakers Bureau members and trainers who have facilitated or cofacilitated the most presentations in the past year (April 2015 – April 2016).

Included below are the educator’s names, the number of presentations they have done in the past year and their responses to the following: 1) Name a favorite moment that occurred while presenting for the LGBTQ Academy and 2) What is your super power?

Gabrielle Hermosa (37 presentations): 1. One of my favorite moments was during my second or third time presenting. BJ, Wanda and I spoke at a local high school. The students were quiet and reserved as they entered the classroom but really lit up and came alive during the presentation. Afterward, we were ambushed by some of the teens in the hallway who insisted we pose for photos with them. It really dawned on me that day just how important this work is and the positive, inspirational and transformative affect it can have, especially with young people struggling to figure out who they are and where they fit in.

2. I’d have to say my super power is a mix of feminine energy, love, compassion, and empathy. Sometimes people have trouble recognizing their own greatness, but I see it; I feel it. I’m like a reflector; a mirror. I graciously take what people offer, and give it all back mixed with my own love and gratitude. People often think I’ve done something to make them feel good or feel better about themselves but it’s their own greatness being reflected back.

Shira May (20 presentations): 1. A school principal came up after a presentation and, with tears in his eyes, said he wished he could have done a better job supporting his gay son when he came out. His willingness to listen to our stories and to learn and grow really moved me.

2. My superpower is sculpting goddess figures out of clay.

Olivia Page (15 presentations): 1. My all-time favorite presentation had to be when I had the honor of speaking to faculty at my high school in Hilton.

I was 18 and had graduated a few months prior as their first out transgender student so I was already pretty familiar with most of the staff and school board. I was given the fabulous opportunity to connect with some of my old teachers as more than just a past student and speak to them about the struggles other trans students and I face on a daily basis. It was very emotional, but so rewarding.

2. My superpower would have to be the wonderful ability to talk and empathize with just about anyone, which really helps with the work I do for the LGBTQ Academy at the Gay Alliance Matthew Krueger (15 presentations): 1. My favorite moment was probably when I was at Pittsford talking to students. My sister was there, since she teaches at the school, and I got to hear my coming out story from her perspective, which we had never really talked about before. I also liked reading the evaluations after presenting at the library where I work, and hearing all the support from my coworkers.

2. My superpower is that nothing is too sweet for me. I have a super sweet tooth. I absolutely love anything with sugar, especially baked goods!

Jason Robert Ballard (14 presentations): 1. My favorite thing that happened while speaking this year was when I had to present without an LGBTQ Academy staff member as a facilitator, which was new for me. I was actually terrified. But it ended up being a turning point for me as a speaker. I realized that I really did know how to educate beyond just sharing my personal story. The presentation went off really well and the participants came up to us at the end and said how much they loved it.

2. My wife pointed something out to me recently. I’ve spent so long trying to find myself and get to know myself through transition that I continually try to learn new things and reinvent myself.

She said every day it’s something different.

I originally thought, “Well that’s annoying isn’t it?” But then I realized how many things I’d experienced and I wouldn’t trade those adventures for anything. So I guess my superpower is that I’m a bit of a shapeshifter.

Wanda Martinez-Johncox (6 presentations) 1. My favorite moment was when I went to Colgate Rochester Crozer Divinity School with Jeanne to run a SafeZone Training and I met this cute older nun.

She was so supportive and we really connected. Also one time I went with Rowan to California and a Latino student felt connected with me because his story was similar. We talked about “novelas” (TV soaps) and how we grew up en el barrio.

2. I love to iron clothes. When I travel I iron before I pack the clothes and then again when I get to the hotel! I have super ironing powers! Jeanne and Rowan, who have both traveled with me, think I’m crazy!

Sady Fischer (6 presentations): 1. One of my favorite moments was after a presentation to SUNY Brockport students. Three students of varying gender identities approached me and thanked me for being a proud and visible pansexual woman - they didn’t often see themselves reflected in LGBTQ spaces. Their ability to see themselves in my story reaffirmed why I do this work; especially because as a queer Latina I still often don’t see myself represented in most settings.

2. My superpower is my passion! My passion for my family, my work, and my various communities! They say, “do it with passion or not at all.” This Queer Wonder Woman knocks out societal expectations one conversation at a time! *KA-POW*

Jonathan Wetherbee (6 presentations): 1. My favorite moment was when working with Rowan at a college in Indiana. It was a small school that had no infrastructure to support LGBT+ students, but everyone was so energized to start a SafeZone program. After the session, the organizer of the training spoke candidly about how important this first step would be for the college, and how hard he had worked to get the training approved. It really felt like we were helping to start a movement.

2. My secret super power is that I run on batteries that give me almost inexhaustible energy.

A huge thank you to our other volunteers, not featured in this article, who have also generously donated time and talent to the LGBTQ Academy in the past year: Adrian Bartholomeo, Aiden Cropsey, Bess Watts, BJ Scanlon, Carolyn Abare, Cindy Marshall, David Frier, Dawn Johncox-Martinez, Deb Oppenheimer, Dee Murray, Dwain Wilder, Ed Freedman, Emily Henninger, Eric Stratton, Evelyn Bailey, Greg Gerard, Jeanne Strazzabosco, Jeffrey Cougler, Jill Frier, Jordan Allen, Kat Wiggall, Lucky Summer Light, Maggie Economou, Matthew Burns, Maur DeLaney, Pam Barres, Pam Polashenski, Patrick Pitoni, Paul Birkby, Pete Horrocks, Sam Dien, Samantha Ballard, Shauna O’Toole, Stephani Dudrak, Todd Gordon, Todd Plank, Toni Perri and Yovi Bruno! ■

JUNE 2016 • NUMBER 501 • THE GAY ALLIANCE • THE EMPTY CLOSET

NATIONAL AND INTERNATIONAL (Newsfronts from page 5)

Fla. lesbian couple voted high school prom queen and king Joe Morgan posted on gaystarnews.com: This is the first time one Tallahassee, Florida high school has crowned its first ever lesbian couple as prom king and queen.

The young couple, Lindsey Creel and Brie Grimes, are seniors at Leon High School and have been dating for three years.

“It feels good to know some of the things we’ve been a part of can help others going through tough experiences, in a positive way,” Grimes told the Tallahassee Democrat.

“I needed someone in my life to show me that it would work out — when I was first going through this years ago. But I didn’t have that.”

“I hope that people will look at this and more will begin to think that it’s okay to be supportive of the LGBTQ community,” Creel added. “Leon often talks about change. This is a good example for younger students there.”

Response to the pair’s crowning has been overwhelmingly positive, with many posting on social media celebrating the couple.

Read the full story on gaystarnews.com

New Hampshire to ban ex-gay torture for minors The Concord Monitor reports: Republican and Democratic lawmakers in the state Senate reached an agreement late May 12 on a bill to ban gay conversion therapy on minors after a debate over religious freedom nearly derailed the effort.

“Who among us would want to be converted from the essence of who we are?

I don’t think any of us would,” Republican Senate Majority Leader Jeb Bradley said during debate.

Gay conversion therapy is the practice of trying to change someone’s sexuality or gender identity. Both the Senate and House have now approved a bill barring licensed counselors from engaging in the practice with anyone under age 18. The chambers passed bills including slightly different language, which means they’ll need to reach agreement before sending the legislation to Gov. Maggie Hassan’s desk.

Hassan, a Democrat, praised the Senate’s passage of the bill, saying it sends an important message to young people that they can be who they are.

Read the full story on JoeMyGod.com

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Interview

ACLU files suit to challenge Miss. hate law The American Civil Liberties Union and the ACLU of Mississippi on May 9 filed a lawsuit to challenge an anti-LGBT law passed this spring that allows public officials and businesses to refuse to serve gay and transgender individuals.

The lawsuit, which targets the registrar of vital records, was filed on behalf of ACLU of Mississippi members and Nykolas Alford and Stephen Thomas, a gay couple who are engaged to be married and face discrimination as a result of this law.

Plaintiffs Nykolas Alford and Stephen Thomas have been engaged for nearly two years. They describe the law, HB 1523, as “a slap in the face.”

“When HB 1523 passed, it was heartbreaking because it takes away our chance to finally be treated equally. At a time when we’re supposed to be excited as a couple engaged to be married, this law permits discrimination against us simply because of who we are. This is not the Mississippi we’re proud to call home.

We’re hopeful others will come to realize this and not allow this harmful measure to become law,” they said.

The Supreme Court was clear in its marriage ruling last year: States must provide the “same legal treatment” to married same-sex couples that they provide to the marriages of different-sex couples.

HB 1523 directly contradicts the Supreme Court’s ruling by treating the marriages of same-sex couples differently than the (ACLU continues page 12)

Colombia legalizes marriage equality Joe Morgan posted on gaystarnews.com on April 29: Colombia’s top court has legalized same-sex marriage.

The Catholic country follows Argentina, Brazil, Uruguay and many states in Mexico in allowing same-sex couples to marry in Latin America.

Six of the court’s nine judges approved the ruling that “all people are free to choose independently to start a family in keeping with their sexual orientation…receiving equal treatment under the constitution and the law”.

“The judges affirmed by a majority that marriage between people of the same sex does not violate constitutional order,” presiding Judge Maria Victoria Calle told the court.

“The current definition of the institution of marriage in civil law applies to them in the same way as it does for couples of the same sex.”

Read the full story on gaystarnews.com

Ben Eshelman. Photo: Susan Jordan

Ben Eshelman of transrochesterspeaks

By Susan Jordan Ben Eshelman has created the site rit. edu/transrochesterspeaks as “a dialogue in community history”.

The site documents Rochester trans history through oral histories, archival research and photos. Individual stories are the primary source. As Eshelman writes, “This is only the beginning of the conversation that must be continued.”

The site includes early Empty Closet material including profiles of pioneer activists like Leah Wilder (stabbed to death in 1974), EC columnist 1976-77 Renee Joy Hughson, and Sandra Pierce, founder of Transsexuals and Transvestites Unite, who wrote a letter to the EC editor in 1975, about her struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts.

Ben Eshelman started the history project as an RIT student in the spring of 2014; the site itself went online in February 2016. He told The Empty Closet, “I was in a class at RIT on Intro to Public History. The final project was that we propose any kind of Public History project. I saw Shoulders to Stand On and noticed that it didn’t have a lot of trans content, so I thought it would be cool to propose a trans documentary film – but I realized that would take a lot of money and work. But I thought I could at least do the research. So I asked my professor if it would be possible to make this a reality and he suggested I talk to another RIT professor, Dr. Tamar Carroll. She liked the idea, so I did oral histories of seven people, and did a lot of background reading about national trans issues and looked at the Empty Closet online records.

“It was fascinating to see the really early records in the archives. It’s amazing that I was able to find that trans women were visible in the ‘70s. Renee Richards was in the media at the time. Then there’s a period 1979-1985 when there is NO mention of anything trans. Then in the late ‘80s trans people started to become visible.”

Ben is graduating now and says, “I’m not sure what will happen. I’d love to do more research in Rochester and keep doing the website. I’m trying to get funding to continue – up to now it’s all been RIT money.”

Ben also teaches people how to do oral history research. “You need the research, and an audio recorder, and you can become a historian by doing it. It’s so important to preserve our history, especially now that trans issues are in the national news.”

He has attended several LGBTQ conferences in the northeast, mostly in NYS but several in Massachusetts. “There’s a

cool trans conference in Victoria, Canada,” he said. “I have not had the funding to get to that yet.”

Ben said that feedback from the trans community has been very supportive.

“JoAnne Metzler has been especially helpful,” he said. “It’s important to me to portray the community in a positive light. I identify as trans, so this is a really big part of finding out who I am. It’s so important to have trans people telling their own stories.”

As far as reactions from cisgender people, Ben commented, “We had a table at the Imagine RIT Festival this spring and I was a little nervous. This was my first time presenting to a primarily cisgender audience, although some trans people did stop by the table. No one was actually hostile – some would see the word ‘trans’ and walk away. In my presentation I was talking about making history more accessible, making museums more interactive – so I wasn’t talking about trans issues only. Everyone was supportive, but you could tell the cis people had never considered that trans people were coming out in 1974. I was trying to go a step past Trans 101 and get into the historical aspect.”

The website is meant to be a resource for both the trans/intersex/gender expansive community and scholarly researchers. Ben said, “I definitely want the trans communities to understand all the trans identities more fully – you see such different people and they all have such different stories. I remember how creating the project impacted my own coming out and hope it will impact young trans people.

It’s advancing the trans narrative from the idea of trans being a brand new thing, and showing the history behind it.

“It’s also important to advance the narrative beyond the usual questions we’ve all heard before – what was your surgery like, etc. This is about not only figuring out you’re trans, but also, what did you do about it? Did you have to teach your doctor about the issues, etc. I wanted to focus on trans people making changes to their environment – being active rather than passive. There were decades of trans people’s work behind that Time cover of Laverne Cox. That wasn’t Time doing us a favor!”

Ben’s site has a resource page with links to other similar projects, many of which are still in the research stage.

“There’s NYS Trans Oral Histories,” Ben said, “which is more like videotapes.

There’s Milwaukee’s trans history project – those are the two most well-developed.

It’s fascinating to see those projects in smaller cities; you’d expect them in large cities like New York.”

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THE EMPTY CLOSET • THE GAY ALLIANCE • NUMBER 501 • JUNE 2016

JUNE 2016 • NUMBER 501 • THE GAY ALLIANCE • THE EMPTY CLOSET

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THE EMPTY CLOSET • THE GAY ALLIANCE • NUMBER 501 • JUNE 2016

Making the Scene (Standing L-R): Van Van Zanten, Pat Cloonan, Craig Heslor, Gary Hallinen, Ralph Carter, Jim Moran, Benn Kuhns, Tim Sally, Paul Mura and Bruce Colburn, (seated, L-R): Philip Benier, Evelyn Bailey, Sue Cowell and Marta Maletzke, and (kneeling, L-R): Bill DeStevens (host for the event) and Don Lombardo.

Pioneer activist Tim Sally visits Rochester On May 14, a group of longtime friends gathered for a reception for Tim Sally at the Gay Alliance LGBTQ Resource Center.

Tim is a well known activist, originally from Rochester, co-founder of PFLAG and AIDS Rochester. He now lives in Palm Springs, Calif.

He was in Rochester for a week to attend the Lilac Festival and visit friends and family.

MEUSA: At the marriage equality celebration on April 24 at 140 Alex Bar & Grill. All photos: Susan Jordan

CRUNCH: Panelists at the trans youth dinner event on May 13 were (L-R): Olivia Page, Yovi Bruno, Stephani Dudrak. Photo: Jill Frier

Wanda Martinez-Johncox, Dawn Martinez-Johncox, Kriss Sniffen and Beth Wood.

Vanity Faire

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY: Equal=Grounds Coffeehouse, 750 South Ave., celebrated its 10th anniversary on May 5. Co-owners John White and Harry Bronson started the business “to be a gathering place that would be welcoming to all and celebrate the diversity of our community while honoring and striving for full equality for all.

Owner John White created the name Equal Grounds to signify our desire for a community where there is equality of opportunity for all, fairness for all, justice for all, success for all and a community where we empower all individuals and families.”

Judith Jameson

Bill Moehle, Andy Rau and Pamela Barres.

Dee Licious

Staff and friends at the Equal=Grounds anniversary celebration.

JUNE 2016 • NUMBER 501 • THE GAY ALLIANCE • THE EMPTY CLOSET

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Scenemaker of the Month Shauna O’Toole

By Susan Jordan Trans activist Shauna O’Toole will host six open mic events this month (June 2, 9, 16 and 23) and in July (July 7 and 14), at the Gay Alliance’s LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave., from 7-8:30 p.m. “The Good, the Bad and the Funny” has been very successful for several years now in providing a safe place for trans and gender expansive community members of all ages to tell their stories and find connection and support.

Shauna told The Empty Closet, “Around seven years ago there was a Rochester Pride without any trans content. So Maur Delaney, Noah Wagenor, Jason Ballard and I said, ‘This will not stand’. The next year we created the open mic ‘The Good, the Bad and the Funny’ for anyone who is trans and gender expansive to tell their stories.

“Equal=Grounds was literally overflowing that first night – ‘get-your-footout-of-my-eye’ crowded. The crowd spilled out the door. It was hot as hell and all of us were absolutely stunned at the response. We knew this was important.

“We started at 7 p.m. and went on until 10:30. It was solid! Some people had funny stories to tell, others had tragic stories. The ones that have meant the most to me are the ones who come out for the very first time. For youth, it’s sometimes with parents there! They are nervous as all get-out; they get a round of applause and then walk off the stage, often with tears of joy, because they’re claiming their identity in front of the world. And seeing the parents hug their children lovingly – you know that youth will grow up healthy and happy, and there will be one less suicide.”

Shauna and Raky at Equal=Grounds. Photo: Susan Jordan

Shauna has been a high school science teacher and worked in the aerospace industry; she is also a writer. Her book “You Can’t Shave in a Mini-Mart Bathroom” was self-published in 2009 and updated in 2013, and now there is also “Da Rule: The First 100-Plus Things I Learned From My Transition” – both can be accessed at lulu.com or amazon. com. Shauna is also a sci fi author. Her series “Exodus” will be released later this year, following “Recycled”, set 50 years in the future after terrorists set off a nuclear device in the Midwest, and a totalitarian government took power. Shauna said, “If you are politically undesirable, you can find yourself recycled into your raw com-

ponents! So that results in a revolution against a totalitarian government that puts their power ahead of people.”

Shauna lives in the South Wedge with her spouse Raky Acevedo-O’Toole. She answered the usual Scenemaker questions: Interests/obsessions? “I’m a pilot of single engine private aircraft. I’m instrumentrated but haven’t flown for a long time.”

Favorite color? “Kelly green.”

Favorite writers? “Robert Heinlein, Isaac Asimov, Arthur C. Clarke.”

Trans icon: “Mara Keisling of NCTE (National Center for Transgender Equality). In 2009 when I first came out, I contacted that group and the National Center for Lesbian Rights and GLAAD. Mara

actually called me and asked if I was OK and if she needed to come here. I wasn’t emotionally equipped to handle that right then, though!”

TV shows you’re addicted to? “‘Dr. Who’ and ‘Firefly’, which is a western in space and a lot of fun. Then there’s ‘Deadliest Catch’!”

Favorite movie? “‘Serenity’ – the series finale of ‘Firefly’ got made into a movie.”

Halloween costume? “Last year I went as a Tardis – but my ideal costume would be Capt. Malcolm Reynolds of ‘Firefly’.”

Death Row meal? “A gallon of chocolate/chocolate chip ice cream. I’d get so sick that death would be a relief!”

Music you’re listening to right now?

“A lot of movie film scores/soundtracks.

Music is my muse for writing. Right now it’s ‘The Forbidden Kingdom’ – a Jackie Chan-Jet Li martial arts action/adventure/ comedy.”

Dream vacation? “I’d like to go back to Ireland. I want to explore the ruins of the family castle in Leinster.”

Worst habit? “Eating peanut butter straight from the jar with a spoon.”

Chunky or smooth? “Smooth – like me!”

Phrase you over-use? “It goes like this...”

Favorite Internet site and social media?

“Facebook for social media. My favorite site is space.com – news and happenings in the aerospace industry and the latest discoveries in space.”

What makes you laugh? “The absurdities of life.”

What super power would you like to have? “Flying.”

Motto? “Doors are meant to be opened – not hidden behind.” ■

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THE EMPTY CLOSET • THE GAY ALLIANCE • NUMBER 501 • JUNE 2016

NATIONAL AND INTERNATIONAL (ACLU continued from page 7) marriages of everyone else, the ACLU said. The statute does not authorize anyone to discriminate against the marriages of different-sex couples based on religious beliefs. It singles out the marriages of same-sex couples and provides a special right for governmental officials and forprofit businesses to discriminate against them.

“We’re stepping up to fight this sweeping anti-LGBT and unconstitutional law that authorizes discrimination against gay and transgender people,” said ACLU Staff Attorney Josh Block. “HB 1523 has no rightful place in Mississippi or in our history books, and we’re hopeful this lawsuit can stop as much of it as possible before it goes into effect. We won’t rest until every last piece of this law is struck down and all LGBT people in Mississippi have equal justice under the law.”

The harms caused by HB 1523 are not limited to married same-sex couples. In particular, HB 1523 includes many provisions authorizing discrimination against transgender people outside the context of marriage, and against anyone who has sex outside of heterosexual marriage. For procedural reasons, those other provisions cannot be attacked in this pre-enforcement challenge against the registrar, but the ACLU and ACLU of Mississippi are committed to challenging these other provisions as soon as possible if they go into effect.

“The ACLU stands firmly against discrimination in all forms,” said ACLU of Mississippi Executive Director Jennifer Riley-Collins. “All citizens deserve the right to be treated equally regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.

The ACLU of Mississippi will continue to work to defend and preserve the individual rights and liberties that the U.S.

Constitution guarantees everyone in this country.”

The case, ACLU of Mississippi v.

Judy Moulder, was filed in the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of Mississippi in Jackson. The ACLU and attorney Oliver Diaz are co-counsel. The complaint can be found at: https://www.aclu.org/legal-document/ alford-v-moulder-complaint

Kansas bathroom bills are dead for 2016 Trudy Ring posted on The Advocate on May 2: Two anti-transgender “bathroom bills” that would have provided rewards for those who reported violations are now dead in the water in Kansas, where the legislature adjourned for the year this morning without taking action on either.

“While Senate Bill 513 was killed a month ago, the identical House Bill 2737 could have potentially been brought up at any time and passed as an emergency measure,” LGBT rights group Equality Kansas reports on its website. But after several late nights working on the state budget and other matters, the legislature finished its session at 3:30 a.m. (May 2) without taking up either bill. The work of activists across the state helped keep the bills from becoming law, according to Equality Kansas.

Read the full story on TheAdvocate. com

Eric Fanning becomes first openly gay Army Secretary Via the Associated Press: In another historical moment for the Obama administration, the Senate on Tuesday evening confirmed the longstalled nomination of Eric Fanning to be Army secretary. Fanning thus becomes the first openly gay leader of any U.S. military service.

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The voice vote came after Sen. Pat Roberts, R-Kan., dropped his opposition in a dispute over Obama administration efforts to close the prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, and transfer detainees to the U.S. Roberts said he received assurances from the administration in private discussions that the clock has run out on moving detainees to Fort Leavenworth, Kansas.

Fanning served as the Army secretary’s principal adviser on management and operation of the service. He was undersecretary of the Air Force from April 2013 to February 2015, and for half a year was the acting secretary of the Air Force.

Fanning’s path to the post began roughly eight months ago, but was stymied when Roberts held up confirmation.

Trans woman stabbed to death in Wichita Sunnivie Brydum posted on The Advocate.com on May 4: A 16-year-old boy is facing second-degree murder charges after allegedly stabbing to death a 32-year-old transgender woman in Wichita, Kansas on … May 1, reports Wichita

news station KAKE. Police identified the victim using male pronouns and the name Tyreece Walker, though friends and family of the deceased told police that Walker identified as a transgender woman.

Officers were called to investigate a reported disturbance at an apartment complex in southwest Wichita, near Wildwood Park, at 9:50 p.m. on Sunday, May 1. Police found Walker’s body inside the apartment, dead of apparent knife wounds.

Sgt. Nikki Woodrow with the Wichita Police Department confirmed Walker’s death in a phone call with The Advocate.

Woodrow also confirmed that Walker identified as a transgender woman who was known to friends and family as “Reecey,” and said the victim used male pronouns.

No potential motive for the killing has yet been announced, but police are investigating allegations made by the suspect’s family that Walker attempted to sexually assault the teen, Woodrow said. Asked if police were considering the possibility that Walker’s death was a hate crime, Woodrow said “absolutely not,” adding that there is no indication that the killing ( Trans continues page 14)

JUNE 2016 • NUMBER 501 • THE GAY ALLIANCE • THE EMPTY CLOSET

Shauna O’Toole gives University of Buffalo Masters of Social Work Commencement Speech

By Shauna Marie O’Toole Provost Zukoski; Dean Smyth; Ladies and gentlemen of the faculty and staff; Students; Friends; Family; And, most importantly, the Graduating Class of 2016. It is an honor and a privilege to be here to share a few thoughts.

To the Class of 2016, let me add my congratulations. In a few hours, caps will have been tossed, selfies taken, and corks popped. Then, tomorrow, the real adventure begins.

The purpose of a commencement speech is to instill some thoughts or ideas to inspire you as you set forth. Having been to a number of graduation ceremonies, I will say that you will probably not remember my words. However, if I can instill an idea or two, then I will have done my job.

So, let me tell you a story. It goes like this. My best stories always start, ‘It goes like this...”

There was a time a few months back…

I was sitting there with my feet up.

Tall glass of something cold to drink.

Facebook open. I was flipping back and forth between The Weather Channel and Deadliest Catch.

No judging! You watch your reality shows, and I’ll watch mine!

Nurses would come in every so often to check my blood pressure, listen to my heart, and check my vitals. Med techs would come in to get samples. The doctor would come in to talk about test results.

I should probably say that I was at Highland Hospital in Rochester with Congestive Heart Failure. Not to worry.

It’s early stage and being treated. The test results are back. While I am disappointed, I am not surprised – I am not pregnant, just full figured.

So, as I was lying on my hospital bed thinking about my life, as one is wont to do. We’ve all heard stories about people in similar situations looking back on their life and bemoaning the fact that they had wasted their life by being focused on job and career -- they they should have focused on family and helping others.

To be honest, I didn’t have any of those thoughts! Now, don’t get me wrong.

I am not ready to kick the bucket. However, if the hands of my clock are closer to midnight than what I originally thought, I was okay with it. The reason is that I believe that this has been a life that mattered -- a life that made a difference.

What I want to do these next few minutes is share a few thoughts of how to have a life that matters.

When the experts say, “It can’t be done!” that is your signal to look for an answer yourself. You have a different view and perspective. Different information.

You might find an answer that works for your problem.

I learned this back working at East-

man Kodak. I was part of the Problem Analysis team -- a group of engineers, scientists, and technicians who regularly did the ‘impossible.’ There was one time when we had a call from an important customer. They needed an answer three weeks ago. The cargo bay was being loaded, and their experts said it would take six months to get an answer. They asked if we could help.

In six days, we had an answer. It wasn’t perfect, but it was what they needed. So, if you ever see the IMAX movie “Destination Space” and see the film footage from the cargo bay of shuttle Atlantis during STS-34… Yeah, I had a hand in that.

Don’t tell me that it’s impossible.

Words. Words have the power to lift up and the power to crush. Words can bring life. Words can kill.

I learned this as a high school science teacher. I had many students come into my classroom convinced they were going to fail! They had never done well in any academic class, and had heard that Earth Science was terribly difficult. It was beyond them.

Still, they came in after school for help. Not for answers, but for guidance and to understand. I always tried to be encouraging. Celebrating any victory.

Then, to see the smile on a child who just got his first 80+ ever on any academic assignment! To see the tears of joy on a young girl’s face learning that she had passed.

I see this when I speak at conferences and colleges about my journey. Afterward, someone always reaches out to me.

Maybe right after. Sometimes, not for days, weeks, or even years. People come up and say that my story was the first positive message they had heard that they could be true to themselves and be happy.

And I am humbled every time this happens.

Words can also kill.

I was on the receiving end of such words. A person in authority over me vented his spleen at me for what seemed like an eternity, though it was probably only a couple minutes. What he did not know was that I was dangerously depressed. I had literally just started antidepressants and was in that very susceptible corner. When I left work that day, I had no intention of ever returning -- nor of seeing the sunrise.

It was a very long night on that ledge with the hangman’s noose appropriately affixed to my neck. I did get off that ledge, but it was a very close thing.

Rule 104: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can leave wounds that never heal.

Lastly, you need to step out of the closet. Not a closet of Sexual Orientation or Gender Identity. This closet is made up of the limits Society builds around us.

Do this and don’t do that. Wear this, and not that. Live vicariously through Reality TV, and don’t make waves.

Let’s be honest. It is very cozy in that closet! It’s safe! You know what is

expected of you, both good and bad. You sit there and you take it -- both good and bad. What keeps you in that closet is this door made of fear and self doubt. We lock ourselves in this closet.

I will tell you straight up, assuming I can still use that phrase, that if you live in that closet and are lying on your own hospital bed, you will ask the same question I did. You may find you have a different answer than mine.

What I charge you with is to open that closet door! Forget about your fears. Push through those fears and step into the light of day! If you are worried about failure, let me tell you: There are times you will fail!

There are times you will succeed. Life is a combination of both. The only time a failure is truly a failure is if you don’t learn from it. Failure is simply success in a different direction.

Open that closet door and step into the light of day! Society will push back,

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but hold your ground! Stand firm and do what you need to do in your career, and what you need to do in your Life. You will find yourself stronger and more resilient than what you thought you were. And you will find that you have become a role model for those wondering if they can step through the closet door, too.

Here it is. The last lecture in bullet point form.

When the experts say, “It can’t be done,” check for yourself.

Words have power, use it for good.

Step through that closet door and create your own life. Step into the light of day.

Because we all know, doors are meant to be opened -- not hidden behind.

Go forth and conquer.

Qa’pla! (Which in Klingon means Success!)

Thank you very much. ■

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NATIONAL AND INTERNATIONAL ( Trans from page 12)

THE EMPTY CLOSET • THE GAY ALLIANCE • NUMBER 501 • JUNE 2016 Empty Closet update: Mercedes Successful was killed in Florida on May 15.

According to IDAHOT, there have been 100 trans murders worldwide as of May 17, 2016.

Mr. Gay Syria defies militants who beheaded his boyfriend

Tyreese Walker

was motivated by bias.

The suspect, whose name has not been released due to his age, is due in court today or tomorrow, Woodrow said. She expects the teen to be charged as a juvenile.

A woman who identified herself to KAKE as a friend of Walker’s rejected the allegation that Walker had attempted to assault the teen, saying such a claim was “completely 100-percent out of character for Reece.” “[She] wanted to get a degree in psychology or social work to try to become a counselor to help other people try to get through some of the same struggles [she] had been through,” the friend, identified only as Victoria, told the local news station…. ….Walker is at least the tenth known transgender person killed in the U.S. this year alone. Almost all the victims have been trans people of color, and the majority of those killed have been black transgender people, like Walker. In April, Shante Issac and her friend Willie Sims were brutally murdered in Houston. Police have yet to arrest any suspects in the double homicide. Just days later, Keyonna Blakeney, a 22-year-old black transgender woman, was found dead in Rockville, Maryland, on April 16. Police have ruled her death, caused by blunt force trauma to her upper body, a homicide.

A month earlier, a transgender woman named Quartney Davia Dawsonn-Yoachum was killed in what police believe was a domestic dispute on Los Angeles’s “Skid Row,” while Jasmine Sierra was found dead in January in Bakersfield, Calif. In February, 30-year-old Louisiana trans man Demarkis Stansberry was shot to death, the same month that police shot and killed 24-year-old Arizona trans man Kayden Clarke in his own home. In the span of 24 hours in late February, Philadelphia police discovered the bodies of two transgender women, including 25-year-old Maya Young and Veronica Banks Cano. Texas trans woman Monica Loera was the first known trans person killed in the U.S. this year, shot to death in her own home on January 22.

Read the full story on TheAdvocate. com

Joe Williams posted on pinknews.co.uk on May 12: The 24-year-old wants to show that Syrian gay men are more than “bodies thrown off buildings”.

In a defiant stand against Islamic State, a group of gay men recently came together to throw the country’s first Mr. Gay competition.

The men battled it out to become the public face of the war-torn country’s LGBT community, whilst highlighting the issues facing gay and trans Syrian refugees.

The newly crowned winner, Hussein Sabat, insists he feels more hatred towards the terror group rather than fear.

“Everyone is scared of ISIS but it doesn’t stop me from living my life. I won’t let them be a barrier and I hate them more than I’m scared.

“I want to show that Syrian gays are not just bodies thrown off buildings

by ISIS; we have dreams and ideas and we want to live our lives,” he told the MailOnline.

“Of course we were nervous but we we’re excited – we all wanted to be Mr Gay Syria to do something empowering.”

Sabat has felt the effects of Islamic State firsthand, after his boyfriend was murdered four years ago.

“I was with Zakaria for four years, but three years ago ISIS beheaded him,” he explained.

“They sent the execution video to his family – his mother almost went crazy and I couldn’t speak for a month.”

The competition took place in Istanbul, where Sabat fled with his family – who he says would disown him if they knew he was gay – two years ago.

Despite feeling more liberated in Turkey, they still face homophobia and discrimination.

Read the full story on pinknews.co.uk

Italy legalizes same sex civil unions Italy’s Parliament has passed a bill legalizing civil unions for same-sex couples.

After meeting with MPs from his own party earlier this year, Italian Prime Minister Matteo Renzi agreed to amend the bill to drop proposals that would recognise same-sex parenting and adoption.

After passing through the Senate in February, the bill on May 10 cleared the Lower House Chamber of Deputies, after a confidence vote passed by 369-193 – meaning the bill will become law.

Though the legislation brings some rights to same-sex couples, the watered

down version has attracted negative responses from LGBT groups for ditching same-sex adoption.

Rainbow Families says the decision to remove the adoption rights amounted to the “emptying out” of a bill that was already a “modest compromise”, as it doesn’t recognize same-sex marriages.

The bill came about after the European Court of Human Rights upheld complaints of discrimination by same-sex couples, who currently have no legal rights in Italy.

Read more on pinknews.co.uk

Mass. Senate votes to protect trans people in public accommodations Dominic Holden posted on Buzzfeed on May 12: The Massachusetts Senate voted 33-4 today to pass a bill that would protect transgender people in places of public accommodation — including in restrooms that match their gender identity.

In doing so, the lawmakers diverged from several legislatures in other states this year that have advanced bills to curtail transgender people’s restroom access.

Democrats argued the legislation advanced basic civil rights for transgender people, blocking several amendments from Republicans that would have weakened the legislation.

“It is our responsibility to advance these provisions when there is clearly evidence that transgender people can be and are being discriminated against,” Senate President Stanley Rosenberg, a Democrat, told BuzzFeed News before the vote.

The bill appears poised to pass the House and reach the governor’s desk.

Read the full story on Buzzfeed.

Obama names Barbara Satin to Advisory Council The White House on May 12 announced that the National LGBTQ Task Force’s Barbara Satin has been appointed to serve on President Obama’s Advisory Council on Faith-based Neighborhood Partnerships. Satin is the first transgender woman to serve on this presidential body.

“I am both honored and humbled to be selected to serve on the President’s advisory council. Given the current political climate, I believe it’s important that a voice of faith representing the transgender and gender non-conforming community — as well as a person of my years, nearly 82 — be present and heard in these vital conversations,” said Satin, Assistant Faith Work Director, National LGBTQ Task Force.

In addition to working at the National LGBTQ Task Force, Satin has been heavily involved in the development of Spirit on Lake, a LGBTQ senior housing project in Minneapolis, Minnesota. The housing project — a 46-unit affordable rental facility — opened in September 2013.

She also sits on the boards of a number of non-profits that serve LGBTQ people in the areas of philanthropy, training of senior care providers and HIV/AIDS services. As an active member of the United Church of Christ, she has served on the denomination’s Executive Council and was involved in the church’s 2003 decision to affirm the inclusion of transgender people in the full life and ministry of the United Church of Christ. Satin is a United States Air Force veteran.

Target CEO says company won’t back down on bathrooms Nico Lang posts on TheAdvocate.com: Target is not backing down. In April, the company announced that it would be allowing transgender people to use the restroom that most closely aligns with their gender identity at all of its locations.

During an appearance on CNBC’s Squawk Box, the company’s CEO, Brian Cornell, argued that —despite backlash from right-wing groups —Target did the right thing.

“We took a stance,” he said. “We’re going to continue to embrace our belief in diversity and inclusion, just how important that is to our company. But we’re also going to make sure our focus on safety is unwavering.”

To ensure that the well-being of all customers remains a priority, Cornell told CNBC that the store would be installing family bathrooms at every single one of its 1,800 locations across the country. He said that the process of installing these facilities would take a few months. But as Cornell explains, Target already had family restrooms in 1,400 stores.

Last month, the big box chain stated that it would be taking a stance against legislation like House Bill 2, the controversial North Carolina law that effectively forces trans people to use the restroom that corresponds with the sex they were assigned at birth, not their gender identity. In a press release, Target promised that it would be providing inclusive bathroom access for all of its trans customers and employees.

“We stand for equality and equity, and strive to make our guests and team members feel accepted, respected and welcomed in our stores and workplaces every day,” the company stated. “We believe that everyone — every team member, every guest, and every community — deserves to be protected from discrimination, and treated equally.”

Since that statement was released, other companies have followed Target’s lead by allowing trans people affirming restroom options. These include national chains like Starbucks, Saks and Barnes and Noble.

Nonetheless, Target’s decision has been protested by conservative entities like Glenn Beck and the American Family Association. Read the full story at TheAdvocate.com ■

Come worship among Friends…

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JUNE 2016 • NUMBER 501 • THE GAY ALLIANCE • THE EMPTY CLOSET

Opinion

Ahmad at his motorcycle repair shop.

LGBTQ Community: Paying it Forward

By R.M. Cook The LGBTQ team members at Kiva, an online nonprofit micro-lender, have loaned over $4,350,000, mostly $25 at a time, to people in 80 countries, including the USA. “We are everywhere,” proclaims Kiva’s LGBTQ team site. “We are out and proud and know what it’s like to face barriers.”

Breaking down barriers and providing economic opportunity are the goals of Kiva (www.kiva.org).

These goals are achieved by bundling many small loans into larger ones. Anyone, gay or straight, can make a loan individually, though the LGBTQ team or any of the hundreds of other teams from colleges, schools, churches, cities, or businesses. Individuals can even create their own team. Karen, an LGBTQ team member from Maryland, says, “…it’s a great way to share my luck and help create a better world.” Tomas from New Zealand comments, “…life is about sharing”.

Kiva is in some ways unique among crowd-funding entities. All of the money, 100 percent, goes to fund the borrower.

Kiva is operationally supported by contributions and grants. Kiva keeps none of the money loaned. As the borrower

repays the money over an agreed upon time line, the money is returned to the lender’s Kiva account and can be withdrawn or re-loaned. Kiva’s micro-loans give people a hand up not a handout.

These loans empower people to succeed through their own efforts. Kiva LGBTQ team member David from Toronto points out “…empowerment is more effective than just giving”.

Ahmad, a Palestinian refugee living in a Lebanese refugee camp, received $1,500 in Kiva LGBTQ team loans to improve his motorcycle repair business, allowing Ahmad to earn a living and provide a needed service to a community where motorcycles are an important means of travel not just a hobby. Kraim, a 61-year-old woman in Cambodia, has repaid a $1,300 loan funded in part by the Kiva LGBTQ team. The money was used to fertilize and maintain her mango orchard. Kraim sells the fruit to supplement her income.

Most people have heard the old saw about a butterfly flapping its wings in South America changing the weather in far-flung regions of the world. It’s amazing what a loan as small as $25 can do to change someone’s life; someone you will never meet in a country you may never visit.

Imagine empowering a woman in Africa to buy charcoal to resell for a profit to help feed her family and educate her children. Something as simple as charcoal, which is taken for granted in this country, is a part of daily life in parts of the world with no electric stoves or gas ranges. Picture several small loans bundled into a larger one to help a man in the Philippines repair his fishing boat and nets so he can earn money to send his daughter or son to college, giving that child a better life.

That’s paying it forward one LGBTQ loan at a time.

Comments or questions to blueskye96@yahoo.com

What Do I Tell My Child about Your Hate?

By Michelle L. Wescott When my partner and I decided to have a child, I thought the hardest part about being lesbian moms would be the whole lesbian mom part. And maybe the race part – I’m Black, she’s white.

We’d been together for 14 years at the time and the decision weighed heavily on us. Having a child wouldn’t be an accident so it felt like we had an incredible responsibility to make the best decision possible. Our future child would have no say in the matter of being brought into a world where folks spew a lot of hate toward “non-traditional” families.

We took the leap, made the best decision possible, and brought an amazing little person into the world, who I know is destined to do great things.

Fast forward four years and it’s race that is the most challenging. Raising a Black child in this country can be terrifying – and she is Black, no matter that half the genes that made her were Lithuanian, she goes through this world as Black.

Combine race with queer and the hate that comes with all of that and it’s a chilling prospect.

Earlier today I was sitting in my office Googling Pygmies because my mom mentioned their population is dwindling in the Congo from wars and genocide. And as Googling tends to do, I followed down a rabbit hole of information and ended up reading all about Human Zoos and how much Hitler admired Madison Grant’s works on scientific racism. Which led to ponderings about how like Hitler Donald Trump sounds when using hate and rhetoric to resurrect from its shallow grave that beloved and hated us-versus-them mentality and oh shit. What the hell am I supposed to tell my child about all this hate and why it all seems to be directed at people like us: non-white, non-straight, non-conforming, non, non, non?

We go to a church where the widowed wife of a mother of four raises her wife’s sons as her own, my daughter looks up to and has as a role model of authenticity a pre-teen trans girl, and a gay man explores his gender identity and her gender identity and their gender identity trying to figure out who she or he or they truly, authentically are and is assisted in this by a community of love and support and my 71-year-old mother who gives fashion advice.

Our child goes to a school where they practice yoga and during snack time are read a book about a pair of worms getting married each half groom and half bride.

We live in a neighborhood of diverse hard working people who look out for one another not because we are all one color – we are not – or all one kind of family – we definitely are not – but because we are all people trying to make it in this world and doing our best to help our neighbors make it too. We have friends who love us not in spite of the fact that we are gay, I am Black, we are vegetarian, my spouse’s hobby is napping while mine is never being still. We are loved not in spite of those things, but because of those things, because they make us who we are and that’s what is lovable about us.

Our child is surrounded by adoration and love. How do we reconcile that with a history of abuses to “our kind” and the current state of hatred in this nation? How do we explain that our love isn’t celebrated everywhere and, in fact, it was illegal in many places in this country in her lifetime – her short four year lifetime! – and that many people around the world are killed for the life that we take for granted every day?

How can we have beautiful experiences in church announcing our preferred pronouns when we introduce ourselves and respectfully addressing one another how ever the other wants to be addressed, but still live in a nation where political leaders advise violence against someone for making a choice about the bathroom she or he or they would feel most comfortable using?

How do we explain to an innocent child who loves everyone she meets that one day she will be judged solely based on the color of her skin or who she loves or how she identifies. It’s an insane dichotomy that leaves me reeling. How is a 4-year-old going to understand it when her 40-something moms can’t?

This world is a dangerous, beautiful,

15 frightening and wonderful place. I have no idea how to navigate it, but I know it’s impossible to avoid the ugly without avoiding the beauty, too. I can’t shelter our child from the hate, and I won’t have her build a defensive shell around herself so that just in case nasty comes, she’s ready. I don’t know what the answer is, but I think it’s something to do with those safe and loving spaces like our church, and her school, and our neighborhood, and our friends, and everywhere we are loved and embraced and honored. The energy of those spaces will give her – and us – the strength to face the ugly and thrive.

Tennessee queer youth: bullied, abused, legally denied therapy Sirry Alang posted an op/ed piece on TheAdvocate.com on May 5: Last month Tennessee Gov. Bill Haslam signed House Bill 1840 into law, making it legal for mental health counselors and therapists with “sincerely held principles” to deny lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer people treatment.

The ability of a mental health professional to provide care should be based on the nature of the disorder or problem, and not on the gender identity or sexual orientation of the client.

Parents, educators, and mental health providers must publicly condemn this law and urge Tennessee legislators to propose a repeal in order to alleviate the mental and physical suffering of LGBTQ people in Tennessee and save lives — as the first visit to a therapist could literally mean the difference between life and death for some LGBTQ youth.

Denying access to therapy and counseling based on beliefs about a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity is likely to increase the frequency and severity of exclusion, discrimination, bullying, abuse, as well as mental disorders and suicide among LGBTQ youth.

While an LGBTQ person might not choose to seek help from a provider who fundamentally undermines their identity, not all people are able to determine this prior to that first appointment. Not all LGBTQ people have the ability to select or can access — financially or geographically — a therapist of their choice.

The National Alliance for Mental Illness estimates that LGBTQ people are about three times more likely to suffer from conditions such as major depressive disorders and generalized anxiety disorders than the general population. Suicide is a leading cause of death among people aged 10-19 in the United States. Suicide rates for LGBTQ adolescents are two times higher than among their heterosexual peers, making access to professional mental health services critical.

Elevated rates of suicide and mental disorders among LGBTQ persons are directly linked to stigma, lack of support, discrimination, and policies that deny basic rights. This law legalizes discrimination and will certainly cause excess suffering from mental disorders as well as suicides among the Tennessee LGBTQ population, especially the youth.

Support and inclusion at home, in school, and in the community are important for the well-being of all youth. However, a significant proportion of Tennessee LGBTQ youth are not getting support from systems that should ensure their wellbeing. To the contrary, evidence from a comprehensive nationwide survey shows that the experiences of Tennessee LGBTQ youth are among the worst in the country.

LGBTQ youth in Tennessee are bullied and abused because of their sexual identity: More than half reported being excluded; six in 10 verbally abused; and two in 10 reported being physically abused, regularly. It is not OK for mental health professionals to turn away victims of abuse on the grounds of sincerely held beliefs — as this law allows.

Read the full story on TheAdvocate. com ■

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THE EMPTY CLOSET • THE GAY ALLIANCE • NUMBER 501 • JUNE 2016

Health American Counseling Assoc. cancels Nashville conference The American Counseling Association has canceled plans to hold its annual conference in Nashville, Tenn. over the state’s recent passage of a law allowing therapists to turn away gay clients based on religious beliefs.

The group made the announcement in a press release: Tennessee became the latest state to sign into law discriminatory “religious freedom” legislation targeting the counseling profession and LGBTQ community, permitting counselors to deny services and refer clients based on the provider’s “strongly held principles” a clear violation of the American Counseling Association’s Code of Ethics.

In light of the passage of SB1556/ HB1840, ACA members have been very vocal about their opinions on the location of the 2017 Conference & Expo, originally scheduled for Nashville, Tenn. After careful consideration, and taking those comments into account, ACA has decided that the 2017 annual meeting will not be held in Tennessee.

“This was not an easy decision to make,” said Richard Yep, CEO of ACA. “After thoughtful discussion, the ACA Governing Council made the difficult— and courageous—decision on behalf of our membership. Of all the state legislation I have seen passed in my 30 years with ACA, the new Tennessee law based on Senate Bill 1556/House Bill 1840 is by far the worst. This law directly targets the

counseling profession, would deny services to those most in need, and constitutes a dilemma for ACA members because it allows for violation of ACA’s Code of Ethics. By relocating from Tennessee, ACA is standing up to this discriminatory law and we remain committed in the battle to ensure that this law does not become the national standard.”

Read the story on towleroad.com

FDA launches youth antismoking campaign The U.S. Food and Drug Administration launched a public education campaign on May 2 directed at preventing and reducing tobacco use among LGBT people between the ages of 18 and 24, writes Yezmin Villareal on The Advocate. com.

The “This Free Life” campaign, which is the largest LGBT-specific campaign the agency has ever taken up, is aimed at the more than 800,000 young LGBT people who smoke occasionally. The FDA is specifically targeting “social” smokers in its attempt to prevent tobacco-related disease. Tens of thousands of LGBT people die each year because of tobacco use, according to the FDA. “We know LGBT young adults in this country are nearly twice as likely to use tobacco as other young adults,” said Mitch Zeller, director of the FDA’s Center for Tobacco Products, in a press release.

“We want LGBT young adults to know that there is no safe amount of smoking.

Even an occasional cigarette can have serious health implications and lead to addiction.”

A press release from the FDA reports that the coming out-process puts young LGBT people at a “unique tobacco-use risk factor” because of the anxiety and discrimination that the experience brings out in some people. The statement also says that data indicates that the coming-out process can attract young LGBT people to “tobacco use and negative health consequences.”

Many young LGBT people find a “sense of community at LGBT bars and clubs,” which can create an environment that encourages tobacco use, reports the FDA in its release. LGBT youth are swayed by influencers, such as YouTubers, who “promote tobacco use,” reports the FDA. The administration features YouTubers, such as Ingrid Nilsen, in one of the antismoking campaign videos for “This Free Life.” “‘This Free Life’ is designed to chal-

lenge the perception that tobacco use is a necessary part of LGBT culture,” said Richard Wolitski, acting director of Health and Human Services’ Office for HIV/AIDS and Infectious Disease Policy, in a statement from the FDA. “The campaign shows LGBT young adults they can be the person they want to be and still live tobacco free.”

Coming out is different for everyone, but the FDA argues that it can be a powerful experience that creates a “deep sense of resilience and passion to live their lives freely.” The FDA says it chose to name its antismoking campaign “This Free Life” to evoke that resilient feeling in young LGBT people. The $35.7 million campaign launches in local and national markets this week. It is funded by user fees collected from tobacco companies, not tax dollars, says the FDA. See the video on The Advocate.com ■

PFLAG MEETS 3RD SUNDAY OF EACH MONTH Meetings are held from 1 to 3pm at the Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church 707 E. Main Street, Rochester, NY 14605 Questions? 585-993-3297 or RochesterPFLAG@gmail.com Join us!

JUNE 2016 • NUMBER 501 • THE GAY ALLIANCE • THE EMPTY CLOSET

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LGBTQ Living

THE FIRST PRIDE MARCH was held in July 1989. Above: Ramona Santorelli and Gail Neisner made legal marriage an issue almost a decade before marriage equality activism started to become a reality, and 15 years before the first legal marriage took place in Massachusetts.

PRIDE 2011: The year of marriage equality victory! Robbie Morris Smith and the Outlandish crew took to the streets to celebrate. Photo: Ove Overmyer

PRIDE 2013: Rich Schroedel of Outlandish donated this amazing 30”x50” Rainbow Flag, which flew from the superstructure at Martin Luther King Jr. Park downtown – as it will again this year. Flag-raising is Friday, July 15. Photo: Jill Frier

PHOTO: JILL FRIER

PRIDE 2006: Aggy Dune was mistress of ceremonies at the Festival held at Village Gate Square. Photos: Doug Meszler

PRIDE 2008: The Youth Group has had a powerful presence in the Pride Parades. Photo: Ove Overmyer PRIDE 2014: The Rainbow Riders at the Festival. They also raise funds for the Gay Alliance at Ride for Pride every June. Photo: Manuel Pena.

Frog Pride 2008! Photo: Garnetta Ely

PRIDE 2015: The Parade theme was Sci Fi. Center: Mayor Lovely Warren. Photo: Jeanne Gainsburg.

Rochester Trans Groups marching last year.

Photo: Jill Frier

PHOTO: JILL FRIER

Rochester Pride History: a family album

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THE EMPTY CLOSET • THE GAY ALLIANCE • NUMBER 501 • JUNE 2016

July 10 140 Alex Pride Golf Tourney $85 per person includes:

18 holes, cart, lunch at the turn & dinner at 140 Alex Register at 140 Alex All proceeds support the Gay Alliance

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JUNE 2016 • NUMBER 501 • THE GAY ALLIANCE • THE EMPTY CLOSET

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THE EMPTY CLOSET • THE GAY ALLIANCE • NUMBER 501 • JUNE 2016

JUNE 2016 • NUMBER 501 • THE GAY ALLIANCE • THE EMPTY CLOSET

Shoulders to Stand On AIDS in 1980s minority communities

By Evelyn Bailey This month Shoulders To Stand On will begin looking at AIDS in Minority Communities.

AIDS does not discriminate. In 1981, when Dr. Michael Gottlieb and his colleagues at the University of California, Los Angeles alerted the Center for Disease Control (CDC) about five cases of a rare Pneumocystis pneumonia in gay men, the CDC published a notice in its Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report (MMWR) on June 5, 1981. This was the first publication of what would come to be known as AIDS. By the time the report was published, 250,000 Americans were already infected.

The report did not mention the race of the five men. “The first five patients were white,” remembered Gottlieb. “The next two were black. The sixth patient was a Haitian man. The 7th patient was a gay African-American man in Los Angeles.”

In 1982, the CDC identified Haitians as one of four (homosexuals, heroin addicts, hemophiliacs and Haitians) highrisk groups for contracting AIDS. The stigma conferred by the new disease on all these groups -- who were flippantly designated by some in the popular press as “the 4H Club” -- was immediate and severe, but only in one case did an entire nation suffer the consequences – Haiti.

Within a year the tourism industry in Haiti decreased by 80 percent. Goods manufactured in Haiti could not be sold in the U.S. The stigma was so severe that Haitians in the U.S. couldn’t get work or sell their homes. Haitians were removed from this category in 1985 because scientists could no longer justify including them on statistical grounds.

In 1983 CDC for the first time began tracking AIDS infections by race; infections found in heterosexual females, and prisoners. In a January MMWR notice, the CDC describes two cases of AIDS in females – one Black and the other Hispanic -- who had no other risk factors except that they had been having sex with infected males. In a second MMWR in January, the CDC details 16 cases of AIDS found in prisoners in New York and New Jersey. In New York, four of the men are black, four are white and two are Hispanic. In New Jersey, three are black and three are white. While most of the men report they are heterosexual, most have also used IV drugs.

In 1985, the first black AIDS organizations were founded. In Philadelphia, Blacks Educating Blacks About Sexual Health Issues, or Bebashi, was formed to provide street outreach in response to HIV/AIDS in the African American community. In San Francisco, Black and White Men Together, led by activist Reggie Williams forms a task force to confront AIDS in their community. And in Los Angeles, Rev. Carl Bean and members of his Unity Fellowship Church founded the Minority AIDS Project (MAP).

In 1986, The National Coalition of Black Lesbians and Gays, with a grant from the U.S. Public Health Services, sponsored the National Conference on AIDS in the Black Community in Washington D.C. in July. The conference attracted more than 400 educators, health care providers and activists, connecting people from across the country to address the specific needs of African Americans with AIDS. Originally scheduled as a 15-minute lunch meeting during the National Conference on AIDS in the Black Community, Surgeon General C. Everett Koop and representatives of color, including Gil Gerard, Suki Ports and Rev. Carl Bean, talk for more than two and a half hours about addressing AIDS in

communities of color. They also discuss Koop’s upcoming report, “Understanding AIDS”, a shorter version of which was mailed to every single person in the United States in 1988. Aside from tax and census forms, it was the only publication to ever be mailed en masse.

No one of color was invited to participate in the 1986 American Public Health Association’s first session on AIDS in October. At the event, Craig Harris, the National Conference on AIDS in the Black Community Coordinator, who is black, gay and living with AIDS, stormed the stage shouting, “I will be heard!” He took the microphone away from San Francisco health commissioner Dr. Merv Silverman and explained the challenges of AIDS in communities of color. In response, Harris and other activists, including Paul Kawata, Gil Gerard, Suki Ports and Marie St. Cyr, formed the National Minority AIDS Council in 1987. One of its spokespeople was singer Patti Labelle, who appeared in its “Live Long, Sugar” campaign in 1989 along with four HIV-positive men and women of color.

In 1986, Sandra Mc Donald started Outreach, Inc. in Atlanta to provide AIDS outreach in black neighborhoods.

It’s the oldest HIV/AIDS organization in the south, and focuses largely on IV drug users. It was 1986 that needle exchange programs began to emerge in the United States. Angered by those who said drug addicts couldn’t change their behavior and despite state and city laws prohibiting the possession of needles without a prescription - Jon Parker, a former addict, started the first U.S. needle-exchange program in New Haven, Conn., to combat the spread of HIV among injection drug users. Needles and syringes became illegal in many states in the late ’70s, after laws were passed to restrict the sale of drug paraphernalia.

The laws helped force IV drug use underground, often to “shooting galleries” where needles were shared among users. A ban on using federal funds for needle-exchange programs was enacted in late 1988 and went into effect the following year. Nonetheless, by 1995, there were at least 60 syringe-exchange programs operating (both legally and illegally) in 46 cities across 20 states. Studies done throughout the ‘90s demonstrated that needle-exchange programs worked in reducing HIV’s spread among IV drug users, their partners and children, and that they did not encourage increased drug use.

In October, 1986 the Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report (MMWR) the CDC reported that the incidence rate for blacks and Hispanics is three times as high as that of whites. Among the cases diagnosed between June 1981 and August

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1986, 25 percent are in the black community, who make up 12 percent of the population at the time, and 14 percent are in the Hispanic community, who make up 6 percent of the population. Among children, the disparity is even higher: 58 percent of cases are in the black community, and 22 percent are in the Hispanic community. As of November 1986, women with AIDS constituted approximately seven percent of all AIDS cases.

Shoulders to Stand On will continue the history of AIDS in Minority Communities. Many of these communities were discriminated against even before AIDS. The AIDS epidemic forced all communities to organize, to articulate their needs and to demand state and federal agencies to respond with resources, support, care and treatment. In 1985 the first federal resources dedicated to HIV prevention were made available to all state and local health departments nationwide.

Shoulders To Stand On is proud to acknowledge the contributions, courage, and perseverance of Reggie Williams,

Rev. Carl Bean, Gil Gerard, Suki Ports, Craig Harris, Paul Kawata, Marie St. Cyr, Patti Labelle, and Sandra McDonald in creating an early grassroots response to AIDS, a disease that does not discriminate against anyone.

History Corner – June 1977 The Empty Closet, a Monthly Publication By and For the Gay Community of Rochester. June, 1977. ISSUE NO 73 In this issue: Gays Assaulted: Hustlers Apprehended pg. 1; Gays In Albany pg.

1; Lesbian Lines pg. 2; Rita Mae Brown pg.2; Prisoners File Suit pg. 3; May Sarton pg. 3, Christopher Street Gay Liberation Day Parade is Here pg. 10; Picnic sponsors meet pg. 12.

Do you want to read this issue of the Empty Closet?

Here is the link: http://www.library. rochester.edu/rbscp/EmptyCloset On that page click on: Browse the Empty Closet issues. Go to 1977, June. ■

Learn the history of the LGBT community in Rochester from the people who made that history.

The Gay Alliance invites you to celebrate 40 years of LGBT history in Rochester with your very own DVD/BluRay of this powerful film.

Shoulders To Stand On Evelyn Bailey, Executive Producer Kevin Indovino, Producer/Director/Writer Standard DVD $25 / BluRay DVD $30 Order at: www.GayAlliance.org

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THE EMPTY CLOSET • THE GAY ALLIANCE • NUMBER 501 • JUNE 2016

Columnists The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet.

Growing Up MEMORY

By Eric Bellmann I tell people that my relationship with my mother improved considerably after her death.

They think I’m making a macabre jest. Not at all.

Now that she’s dead I no longer tense my shoulders, grit my teeth, as I did whenever we spent time together. She lived the last 20 years on the other side of the continent, so meetings were not frequent, not the daily encounters of my childhood or early adult life.

Of course I remember the terrible things: I was not the child she wanted.

She cherry picked what she paid attention to: bits and pieces of my career, my travels.

The less she knew about the rest seemed to suit her. Few of my values matched hers. And my behaviors were beyond consideration. She didn’t know who I was, yet she loved me. It’s worth being reminded people do the best they can at any given moment.

She was quite charming during her last weeks. She had unshakable Christian faith; she was at peace and in a generous frame of mind. I’m glad I hung around for the final chapter.

Now I think of how hard she worked to survive and what characteristics I inherited from her, some good: frugality, industriousness, and others not so hot: a strong capacity for unrelenting shame, an ambivalent desire for privacy, a short temper, a grand capacity for judgment.

What helps matters is that I continued to talk with her after she died. I explained things, complimented her, reminded her of happy adventures and reconsidered the blame I heaped on her. I never lost sight of what we had been through together. Once I no longer had to keep my guard up I had the time, curiosity and wisdom to walk in her steps, consider how she came to be the person she was. Understanding through compassion. She was, after all, the only mother I had.

My relationship with my dead sister has been mellower, less of an effort. We openly loved one another.

All this is preface to Stephen, the one man I chose to tell people I loved more than any other. He was 27, I was five years older. We knew one another for only a few years and that was a very long time ago.

I had seen Steve twice, both times briefly, but not in more than 20 years.

Recently I attended a meditation workshop, an annual spring event that has been part of my life the last 10 years.

I decided to undertake two tasks in preparation. The first was to meet with the current thorn in my side. I wanted to be done with this relationship; it had lost its charm. I loathe the word “closure”; think that’s bullshit. Relationships don’t truly end, they submerge. I had been dwelling on resentments and needed to see if I could short-circuit my obsessiveness.

The advice for meetings like this is: show up, pay attention, use skillful means.

I’m cool with the first two, lousy at number 3. And of course the mind rehearses.

Do I list the many injustices, the smartass cracks I tolerated, I believed, out of love, which got me nowhere? Hard to resist that impulse. The downside to playing that game is that the gripes don’t get resolved; they get polished. The mind clings to pain. We set a date, met and to

my surprise dinner went smoothly, borderline boring, no bloodshed. Innocuous chit chat. Maybe he was looking for an exit ramp, too. You never know.

The second task was to write a letter to Steve thanking him for introducing me to meditation long, long ago, a practice I blithely interrupted with two decades of serious drinking and only resumed 15 years ago. In recovery parlance this is known as “cleaning up my side of the street”. Basically I thanked him, added a list of my travels, mentioned the deaths of my mother and sister, told him I was in recovery. For all that it remained businesslike, cool. The letter went through two revisions and then I rushed to the post office, not wanting to brood over second, third, fourth thoughts.

When he left Rochester I was devastated and I did not want to write about those feelings of loss and abandonment. Hundreds of hours of therapy have enabled me to understand why I suffer the way I do when relationships end. It’s all childhood trauma and not the easiest stuff to own.

This letter was only to express gratitude.

He wrote back. Within 10 days! He thanked me for my support and friendship! He asked questions, questions that encouraged answers, the implication being a continued correspondence. Nothing I had imagined. He sent me a picture of himself and his family. He looked different.

Here’s where the story gets interesting.

He remembered the past with affection, respect. I remember the times I cried, the times I screamed at him, the time I waited, drinking scotch, on his front porch with a pie I had baked for his birthday after he failed to keep his promise to show up at my apartment. The list goes on.

My unvoiced memories were of shame and guilt. That’s known as the trance of unworthiness. In shock I understood that I had cheated myself. Steve remembered a friend he cared for. I remember myself as needy, crazy. Astonishing the punishment we can inflict on ourselves. I had been a prisoner of my own beliefs.

The days of the meditation retreat were damp; I wept steadily. Tears shed over the insight of what I had done to myself and tears shed realizing that the man I loved above all others, remembered me with affection, perhaps even love.

Email: EricLBellmann@gmail.com

Cleaning My Closet BACKTALK

By Meredith Elizabeth Reiniger Massage your kale.

Which assumes that you have kale. That you are wondering oh-my-what-to-do, what to do with this bunch of kale?

Kale? What the holy-cow is kale? Where did it come from? And of course, why kale?

Speaking of cows, holy. (Why cows?) I have been thinking about other disguised swear words. Like that f-word. How did _u_ _ rise to power? Were there a series of caucuses where Team Donkey and Team Elephant . . . (why an Equus africanus asinus and why an Elephantidae Proboscidea??) . . . let their devoted donors make a let’s pretend one-person/one-vote choice. Followed by a convention where ballrooms of balloons and other vessels-ofhot-air condensed the Mass Total of fully

blacked-in circles. Resulting in We the 99% people, do relinquish power to those duly deputized here-let-me-do-that-voting-for-you SuperVoters. And their Packs.

Unf_ckingbelievable.

Indubitably, Holy Cow has been oneupped by fu_k, THE most: horrible, terrible, awful, nasty, evil expletive ever created by man/without a doubt/kind.

In hopes of softening coarse language, we proper citizens must clean up vulgarities. (Personally, my mother preferred a bar of Ivory-it-floats rammed into my offending mouth.) We must (tone is essential) simply spit-out masked diatribes: You stupid b-word, what were you thinking? Why would you vote for that a-word h-word? Holy s-word, who gives a d-word!

Spread the word: saying or writing all four letters of “fuck” is super-naughty.

Cease and abstain. Henceforth and forevermore it shall be known as F-word. It shall, for special occasions within earshot of my mother, have undercover names: friggin’, freakin’ & f-ing. (Marvelous moniker for a musical group. Or a law firm.)

Holy Avians. So I was talking to Adam, my nephew (a superlative father/ man). And Austin, his son/my nephewnephew. Such a fine boy. He’s 15; very tall; size 13 sneakers; plays lacrosse (during which one tries to lay-out an opponent). Austin, like his father/my nephew, laughs lots.

When Adam handed a gift to his mother/my sister (are you following this?)

I cried out loudly and suddenly: What a lovely coloring book. Austin croaked “What?” and bent double (thus, quite mannerly, he did not guffaw right in the faces of his elders). From down there we heard him moaning “. . . a coloring book?

You gave your mother a COLORING book?”

I lay my hand on his adolescent head, explained to his ear, “ADULT. It’s an adult coloring book” which did not seem to clarify and surely did not squelch his gasping.

(Austin’s a ninth grader. I, the teacher, am crazy-mad about high school kids.

I have had, neither biblically nor vaginally, about four thousand, three hundred, twenty-one fresh-men. I know quite well the workings and challenges of their development-in-progress minds.)

Show and tell. I opened his grandmother’s 12” x 16” book, viewing the fifty full-color illustrations of wondrous birds. Opposite each artist’s rendering was a detailed, black outline for an adult to color.

The teachable moment. I leafed through pretty birdies until I found Sula nebouxii, an extraordinary specimen.

Hey, Austin, I’ll color a picture of a bird for you. How about this Blue-Footed Booby. “NO!” (Typical teenage retort.)

“Really? An actual bird?” I just had to rattle that adolescent mind a tad, to hear him slide through “nooooooooo-o-o-oo.” Then, I discover another ornithological offer for nephew-nephew... the Tufted Tit Mouse, just to watch six feet of kid fold in the middle.

Snips & Snails & Puppy dog tails. On the anniversary of my birth, snail-mail hugs brought smiles: dachshund pictures (not as cute as my live-in dog); microtiny (magic-to-me) singing chips (How do they do that?); beflowered, beribboned love notes; a lacy, hand-made, heart-made treasure. For me, a joy... all those tangible cards, bearing handwritten signatures, quivered in my hands, connecting me to friends with shared pasts.

Contemporary greetings arrived through emails. (Not as modern-dayish as Tweets, Twiddles, #Hash-whatthe-tags) I answered each one, launching through contemporary clouds, Helloand-thank-you technologically-advancednotes to special people on the other side of my screen. Nice. Especially comforting to have loving friends reach out.

But then I read a message from Patricia Thompson. Who? Oh dear, oh my. Only a frank admission was appropriate: Patricia, I really must be getting old because I cannot place your name. Send. Then

BEEP: you-have-messages from Mimi, from Alinda, from Penny... all unrecognizable names. Could my mind be empty?

Mindless so soon? (Submit answers to my Gmail to provide column fodder.) Finally, from Covenant Woods, Virginia, Mystery Solved: “Happy birthday, I’m a friend of your DIZZY sister.”

Oh, My Stars! My big sister had orchestrated an Avalanche of Birthday Wishes, from her village of fun-filled friends, to fill my in-box. Happy indeed birthday.

Each greeting a gift of laughter. Every kind word a reminder of sister-sharings.

Back to birds with blue feet, actual and quite lovely sky-blue feet. (Which, WikiKnow-It-All clarifies, makes Blue-footed Bobbies easily identifiable. Well, duh.)

Those marine birds do offer psychology lessons about sibling rivalry. You see, Blue-footed boobies... (Say it nine times quickly.)... have asynchronous hatchings, so first egg hatched is first bird out and about, second egg hatched is middle birdchild, third... is the baby of the family.

During times of food scarcity, #1 might knock #2 dead. And #3 also dead. As far as I can remember, my big sister never tried to commit baby-sister-Merricide.

Back to your kale. Your what the f-word!? New to me kale... (and so so much is, these days)... kale is actually very much pre-meredithian era. Although we both had a WWII mission. Mine to be born into the Horning Kingdom and kale to go forth and multiply in the United Kingdom’s Dig for Victory gardens.

It is handy to know that kale is closer to wild cabbage than domesticated cabbage. (Okay, here’s the thing. Who, exactly, is hired to tame kale?) But rest assured, should you have a desire to hunt wild kale, you will have no difficulty locating a clutch of kale. Verified by Wiki-pundits: kale grows 6-7 feet high, so it is easily recognizable.

Preparing your catch. The GoogleKingdom connected me to chef Aarti.

She video-taught me to 1. Stack your kale leaves. 2. Roll them like a cigar. (I have very little experience doing that.) 3. Slice those health-full roll-ups into festive ribbons. 3. Place in a large serving bowl, add: juiced lemon, drizzled oil, smidgened salt. 4. (Believe it or not...) massage your kale 2-3 minutes. 5. Goal: to soften, wilt, and subdue your vegetation. 6. Plate with fresh mangoes.

I hasten to mention that she does not suggest that you eat the kale. Holy Kale!

MeredithReiniger@gmail.com

Faith Matters LOOKING BACK ON THE ANNIVERSARIES OF MAY 17TH THROUGH THE YEARS

By Rev. Irene Monroe When you reside at the intersections of multiple identities, anniversaries of your civil rights struggles can be both bitter and sweet. And this May 17th was a reminder.

At 12:01 a.m. on May 17, 2004, the city of Cambridge was the first to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. At 9:15 a.m. the first couple was married.

Then Cambridge City Clerk Margaret Drury said to Tanya McCluskey, 52, and Marcia Kadish, 56, of Malden, Massachusetts, “I now pronounce you married under the laws of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.”

Also, on that day was the 50th anniversary of the historic U.S. Supreme Court case of “Brown v. Board of Education,” a ruling that upended this country’s “separate but equal” doctrine, adopted in the “Plessy v. Ferguson” decision of 1896.

While joy washed over me that day knowing my partner and I could now follow McCluskey’s and Kadish’s footsteps and be legally married, we could not rejoice over the limited success, huge failures, and ongoing resistance of Brown

JUNE 2016 • NUMBER 501 • THE GAY ALLIANCE • THE EMPTY CLOSET that allowed a few of us entry into some of the top universities of this country, as it naggingly continues to be challenged as a form of reverse discrimination.

In a 1960 address to the National Urban League Martin Luther King shared his hopeful remarks about the landmark decision: “For all men of good will May 17, 1954, came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of enforced segregation. . . . It served to transform the fatigue of despair into the buoyancy of hope.”

On this year’s anniversary of “Brown v. Board of Education” African Americans and Latino Americans continue to attend not only segregated schools, but they also attend high-poverty urban ones with metal detectors. And sadly, policing while schooling has doubled since 2001 to present day.

Where it was once thought that access to a quality education would dismantle, for future generations, the pox of bigotry and ignorance their parents inherited, race and class, unfortunately, continue to be discriminating indices upholding not only “separate” school systems but also “unequal” treatment of students.

According to the Government Accountability Office (GAO) “High-poverty, majority-black and Hispanic schools were less likely to offer a full range of math and science courses than other schools, for example, and more likely to use expulsion and suspension as disciplinary tools.”

This May 17th also marked the twelfth anniversary of marriage equality in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Looking back at advances such as hate crime laws, the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and DOMA, the legalization of marriage equality, anti-homophobic bullying becoming a national concern, to name a few, the LGBTQ community have come a long way since the first Pride marches four plus decades ago. And our backs appear not to be slammed as harshly up against a brick wall as they used to be.

I give thanks for these advances that I had the opportunity to write Chief Justice Margaret H. Marshall, who wrote the landmark decision in “Goodridge v.

Department of Public Health” the following thank you note this year in April: “When I left for NECN (New England Cable News) on Friday I never imagined in my wildest dreams I would meet you there. And, of all things take a group photo with you and my buddies Sue O’Connell and Scott Kearnan. WOW! And, thank you!

“The closest I came to meeting you was once many tables removed from the stage you spoke from as GLAD’s 2013 Spirit of Justice Awardee.

“A tsunami of thanks I send your way for authoring the Goodridge case, allowing me and so many of my LGBTQ brothers and sisters across this beautiful Commonwealth of Massachusetts to marry the person we love.”

As an African American lesbian there aren’t too many places in this country I feel protected by state laws.

The Goodridge decision bestowed upon me full citizen state rights that when same-sex marriage was legally recognized on May 17, 2004, I then began to proudly lift my voice and say, “I, too, am Massachusetts!”

This June will be the one year anniversary of “Obergefell v. Hodges,” the historic U.S. Supreme Court ruling that legalized same-sex marriage in all 50 states. But, so, too, will be the anniversary of the Charleston, South Carolina black church massacre at “Mother” Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church, which left nine worshippers dead – including its senior pastor, the beloved Rev. Clementa C. Pinckney.

Over the years I’ve learned as well as experienced that joy can share its space with other emotions.

This May 17th both joy and sadness washed over me.

A Few Bricks Short THOSE YOUNG WHIPPERSNAPPERS!

By David Hull My 14-yearold niece asked if I would take her to the Spring Teen Book Fair at a local college campus on Saturday.

I frantically thought, teenagers?

Book nerds? A campus full of them? The whole day? No thanks!

“Wouldn’t you just rather to go the mall?” I asked. Well, actually, I was pleading.

“Please, can we go to the book fair, Uncle David?” replied my niece.

Of course, I caved; I’m sure she knew I would, and I agreed to pick her up at 7 a.m. on Saturday.

So, there I was on Saturday morning, crammed into a noisy gymnasium full of teenagers, volunteers, librarians and authors. Now, it was fun to see authors I actually knew, like Tamara Pierce and Mercedes Lackey. And some of the authors I didn’t know, like Tim Federle and Jeff Zentner, were handsome, so they were fun to look at and I enjoyed that.

But what I thought was the most interesting thing was all the gay kids that were attending the event. And there was no reason for me to even use my gay-dar – these kids weren’t trying to hide the fact that they were gay! Some had brightly dyed hair. Some wore neon-colored, blousy shirts. They all had cute shoes. One person was in drag!

And not one of the hundreds of straight people in the room seemed to care – or even notice – not even when the boy with the bright, pink hair to the left of me squealed with laughter and clapped his hands way too enthusiastically. Nobody pointed or yelled “fag!” – no one even looked in his direction (except me).

“What the hell?” I muttered to myself.

This was not what high school was like when I was a kid.

This was something strange and alien.

This was … well, it was awesome!

How cool that these kids could be comfortable with who they were and not be afraid to express themselves out in public. When I was in junior high, not only did I live in fear of gym class, dodge ball and anyone finding out how much I loved Nancy Drew mysteries (Nancy Drew and the Ghost of Blackwood Hall was my absolute favorite!), I certainly never wanted anyone to suspect that I was gay. Or, as it was sometimes colorfully referred to in those days, a homo.

But throughout the day at the book fair, as my niece led me to the book sale, the exhibits, the author lectures, I began to wonder if these gay youngsters, who were so calmly accepted into the community of their peers, had any appreciation for what got them here. Do they understand what society was like, just 30 or 40 years ago? As much as I hate to admit how old I am, I really do remember what it was like 30 or 40 years ago.

The pain of hiding my orientation in high school. The fear I had about coming out in college. It was miserable for young gay kids when I was growing up.

For goodness sake, I thought, look at me; I’m a pioneer. Or, I guess in my case; a pio-queer!

Back when I was a young queerling, before I really even understood what being gay was all about (although I did understand I liked Captain Kirk on Star Trek a little too much) I remember a bully in the school cafeteria who constantly referred to me as “a cocksucker.”

Cocksucker? At first, I had no idea what he was talking about. I understood that he was humiliating me and the other kids were laughing, but being 11 years old, I had no idea what the word “cocksucker” meant.

My grandfather was a chicken farmer, so I knew the difference between a hen

and a cock, but I had no idea why some mean kids in the cafeteria would think it was funny to accuse me of sucking a rooster?

Luckily, thanks to the “language education seminar” on my daily school bus ride, within a few months I learned the definition of that word and many, many others.

So, as I stood back at the teen book fair and watched all the young people enjoying their day, I realized it was difficult for me to even imagine what it must be like for these gay kids growing up in a society without anyone calling them names, with no one threatening to beat them up, without being afraid of who they were.

I just hoped these young whippersnappers appreciated how fortunate they are to being growing up in 2016.

“Hey, guess what?” one of my niece’s male friends came running over to her during the lunch break. “I gave my phone number to that cute guy who was sitting next to me at that last lecture!” he said, smiling. “I hope he calls me!”

Seeing the youngster’s grinning face, listening to the excitement in his voice, I realized it doesn’t matter about how things were back when I was growing up – it’s not about me. It’s the next generation’s turn.

As I watched that young gay guy freely, publicly discuss his hopes of getting his first date with a boy, I actually felt hopeful for the big, gay future.

You can contact David at Davidhull59@aol.com

Safer Computing SAFER EMAIL: AVOIDING SPAM AND PHISHING

By David Frier This month, I want to discuss how to be safer using the oldest internet application still in use: email. Email predates the Web by about twenty years. So when young people accuse it of being “for old folks” (meaning, people like me) I have to admit they may have a point. But email is still far and away the best mode of communication for business correspondence, and for exchange of personal messages longer than 160 characters.

And long before the web, but shortly after the creation of email itself, spam was born. In addition to being annoying, spam can create some information safety issues. So there are two main things I want you to remember when seeing spam in your inbox: use the spam you get to better train your filter, and never click on any links nor open any file attachments.

All modern web mail clients have built-in spam filtering. Personally, I use GMail to read my mail, even mail from other domains (such as safer-computing. com). The benefit of using an established webmail system as your mail reader is

23 that the provider’s spam filters have been exposed to billions and billions of emails, and so they are very well-tuned for a low rate of both false positives (when the filter puts a valid email in the spam folder) and false negatives (when it delivers actual spam to your inbox). The less of either, the happier you are with the result.

You train spam filters by identifying both false positives and false negatives for it. For example, in GMail, there is a “Report Spam” menu option or button in every non-spam folder, and a “Not Spam” button in the spam folder. You should make use of these whenever possible.

That means occasionally visiting the spam folder to look for those false positives. The more you do this, the less it will be necessary -- because the filters adjust their criteria better to the kind of email you get and even to your subjective tastes about what is and is not spam.

One notable subset of spam you always want to be excluded from are the scams.

Disney vacations, prizes in lotteries (that you don’t remember entering), gift cards and many more unbelievable windfalls show up in your mailbox by the hundreds each month. As you no doubt know, these are nothing but scams to get your personal information or attempt to extract redemption fees to claim these imaginary prizes. Mark them all as spam.

And of course, there really is no dead Nigerian prince whose family lawyer wants to pay you 20 percent of $1.6 billion to help them expatriate the money.

The only thing that you will get for responding to these is an escalating series of demands for fees to cover the assorted (made-up) mechanics of moving the (imaginary) money and finally (never) paying you. Sending these emails is a crime, and you can report it to the FBI at https://www.ic3.gov/complaint/ Phinally, phishing. Phishing is the sending of emails carefully crafted to look like they come from a legitimate organization, such as a bank, a government agency like Social Security or the IRS, or an employer. The typical phishing email will have a message designed to create some sense of urgency, and links crafted to resemble the links to the legitimate website being spoofed. For example, the email may alert you to a credit card fraud attempt, and the links embedded go to chasebank.com (for example).

The problem here is, Chase Bank’s website is really at chase.com. When you go to chasebank.com, which was created by the scammers, you will indeed find the familiar login screen and so on. When you log in through this screen, you will land on the familiar opening screen of chase. com. However, because you logged in through the scammers’ fake page, they’ve snagged a copy of your ID and password in the process. It is easy to do that and then pass your valid credentials along to the real site, so your experience is the same as usual.

The fake login page looks very real, because the scammers can easily go to the (Columnists continue on page 24)

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24 (Columnists continued from page 23) public pages of the real chase.com and grab copies of all the graphics, fonts, content, style sheets and even a fair amount of the programming code needed to make certain pages look and work they way the real ones do. The result is a presentation that even professionals will have a hard time distinguishing from the real thing. It sounds like a lot of work but it pays very well. One single phishing attack in April netted $495K from a Michigan investment firm. And any given phishing email can go to millions of users at a time.

The lesson here is, never click on links in emails, unless the senders are personally known to you, or for things like password resets that you know you initiated within the past several minutes. Certainly for financial and government services, you should navigate to their websites by way of known links you have previously saved as bookmarks or stored in secure password-manager records. If you use a search engine to make initial contact with an agency or company, make sure that you skip past the sponsored links and click only on the most relevant non-sponsored one. Phishing emails, like all scams, should be reported to the FBI at https:// www.ic3.gov/complaint/.

Whether it’s spam or phishing, when an email arrives that “wants” you to click on its links, leave it wanting. Especially, do not ever click on “unsubscribe” links in spam email. Doing that simply confirms for the spammers not only is your email address valid, but you actually read their email. They will reward this by showering you with much love. And spam. Well, mostly spam.

No space this month for a reader letter, but next month, I will do an entire column of Q&A. Please send all your questions to questions@safer-computing.com and I will answer as many as I can convince the editor to fit! No question is silly.

Next month: How to avoid the spam, scams and worse coming at you daily via email.

Both Sides Now I LOVE YOU

By Cora Treoir Duncan and Cassi Uberty I’ve had a hard time this month deciding where to set my focus.

That’s one of the more powerful reasons I am adding my partner’s name to this column.

Cassi is the Yin to my Yang, the left to my right, the peanut butter to my jelly. We met socially as we simultaneously began our Real Life Test as Transgender Women. Along the way, we’ve propped each other up, shared what we have learned and become more than just friends. I don’t have the time and space to enumerate all the reasons I feel this way: I am already over deadline (Bless you, Susan Jordan, Mother Superior) and driven to the point, the NOW, the moment by what is real. So I will curb my enthusiasm and verbosity and do my best to keep it simple.

Cassi is a mirror, often dark, of who I am. We are intrinsically SO different in the way we perceive the world, yet share focus and passion that delights each of us every waking moment we share. It’s about as human as you can get with another person you trust and cherish. We are critical, curious and celebratory of the world we inhabit. We have skills the other does not and we appreciate our own diversity, promoting each other as the Masters we are and as works in progress. We laugh (a LOT), cry, rant and dream of the same wonderful future we are experiencing every day. She has taught me to look up, ALWAYS, with her love of Astronomy and Photography giving me new eyes to see the landscape that surrounds me. I share my mutant ears with her, introducing new

THE EMPTY CLOSET • THE GAY ALLIANCE • NUMBER 501 • JUNE 2016 sounds in Music and my fascination with Language that informs my speech and writing. Each has seen or heard things the other has not and we supply new ears and eyes to each moment we share. There are not enough hours in the day for it all.

I often search for new ways to express my ideas. Then, at exactly the appropriate moment Cassi will say something with such economy and insight that I am gobsmacked, breathless with the profound nature of her vision. Let me share two powerful examples that I hope you can relate to as I have. May they inspire you in your own quest for authenticity.

“If it is good and meaningful, why not do it?” When she said this in a particularly potent exchange a few Sunday Mornings ago, I was stunned by its simplicity and relevance to me and everyone I know.

This has large implications in my life as it empowers me to follow my passion without doubt clouding my vision. She lives it and it makes me want to be a better person for the knowledge.

I tend to complicate because I exist inside my head far too much (where she exists in the physical world interacting in a way I have never mastered). That can mean wisdom or insanity. Cassi has a way of shaking that out in me and out of me.

I willingly follow her vision as we chase sunsets, watch the stars and greet each new sunrise. Thanks to her, I’m seeing a whole new world that was always there, hidden in plain sight just like me for 50 years prior to pulling back the curtain.

“The only way I can express myself, truly and deeply, is with you.” When she made that statement it struck like a thunderbolt to my heart. I wasn’t expecting her to say that and was dumbfounded by how much it affected me emotionally. As TransWomen we know there are losses we must face, but new connections to be made. They will only appear if we are vulnerable, open to our own truth and compassionate about all life that surrounds us. I held Cassi in high regard but never more than after she said those words. No one has ever said those words to me in my adult life and through all the relationships I have had. I don’t think I could have said it before now, either... and now I know how to tell someone “I Love You” and mean it.

Being Well DATING & RELATIONSHIPS

By John M. Aceto, LMHC Are there mental health issues associated with dating and relationships?

As my favorite Alaskan would say, “You bettcha!”. I’m not sure it’s something that every one would consciously be aware of on a constant basis, but they are there, lurking in the background, just waiting patiently.

The good old standbys of depression and anxiety certainly can have an effect on the rules of attraction, dating and romance. Though so can other concerns like trust, esteem, emotional needs, and communication skills. It’s important to be in touch, or mindful, of what your needs are, those of your partner, and those of the relationship.

When I engage in couples counseling, I often break down the components of the relationship into the two individuals, and the relationship. So it’s almost like a third person in the relationship. It’s important to meet the needs of the two people involved and the relationship, which I see as the emotional and physical bond between the two.

The “third person” needs to be nourished and cared for as well, just like any other living being. Too often the two individuals are caught up with daily life.

Some one has to clean, cook, feed and let the dog out. You both have to work 40 hours/week. You both have family and friend obligations.

How do you accomplish this? One

thing to do is make time to nourish this relationship. Plan out date nights once a week or at least a few times a month. Keep an open line of dialogue where you can openly talk about your relationship and its needs. Plan regular day trips or vacations to keep things fresh. Engage in activities that involve each other’s likes, even if some of them aren’t quite to your liking.

Dating is its own special beast. With all of the options for online hookups, I’m pretty sure people still date. It’s been 18 years for me, so I’m kind of out of the loop. Some issues I encounter in sessions are ones of low esteem and worry that the prospective partner will not think you attractive or funny, or worse, will think you are boring.

My short off the cuff response is you are not going to find out these things unless you try! I’ve had conversations later in life with some guys I thought were attractive but out of my league, so I never tried talking with them. Only to find out later in life that they were open to dating me.

Never waste an opportunity to explore love and romance. Try your best to overcome personal doubts and worry. The rewards could be a surprise.

What’s Bothering Brandon?

I DON’T HAVE SEX WITH NARNIANS

By Brandon W. Brooks I’ve written about queerbaiting before in columns past. Queerbaiting, for those who are unaware, is the process by which writers, producers, editors and storytellers introduce a queer element or gay component into their narratives in an attempt to lure in LGBT viewers, but with no actual intent to develop this story into an actual relationship or into the active storyline.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again; it’s a cheap ploy, it’s obvious, and I’m bothered. Don’t tease me.

Speaking of teasing and queerbaiting, the other week I encountered a creature which (up until that point) I had believed was essentially extinct: a Narnian. Yes indeed, I am now fully acquainted with a true blue Narnian – that is, someone so deeply entrenched into the preverbal wardrobe that it’s difficult to believe they could even exist. There may seem to be nothing true blue about someone living life in the closet – or in this case, the walnut wardrobe – but what is true is that more and more closeted men appear to be benefitting from remaining in the closet, and that benefit comes from queerbaiting.

Queerbaiting is something in which we can all participate, whether or not we are writers, producers or directors for television or movies. Narnians, in my experience, are champion queerbaiters.

It would seem that those who remain in the closet (whether it be due to shame, fear, self-ignorance, or any combination of these factors) enjoy flirting with the idea of homosexuality, even flirting directly with self-identified (out) gay people. And they enjoy the reciprocated flirtation even more.

This flirtatious attention directed at them is well-received, I find, and encouraged by their own continued playfully homoerotic advances. In this scenario, Narnians are able to enjoy all the fruits of their secret identities (intimacy, romance, sex etc.), but without any of the shame, discrimination, and adversity that often occurs when someone comes out. The fear of being found out motivates their secrecy. In other words, just so long as they are not labelled as being homosexual for their actions, this game of queerchicken will continue. Indeed, it seems the only Kryptonite to a queerbaiting Narnian would be so-called gay panic.

The mirage of homosocial attraction and

homosexual playfulness will remain intact as long as the door of the wardrobe is kept closed, without the treat of it ever being unlocked.

Self-identified straight men also seem to be benefiting from queerbaiting. Now, I am all for widening the margins society gives to men in regard to homosocial intimacy – that is, I am in favor of allowing men to demonstrate and to experience intimacy and attachment to one another without labelling this intimacy or attachment as homosexual in nature. Men should be able to be intimate and affectionate with one another without their sexual orientation being called into question, or really, regardless of their sexual orientation.

However, what I am finding is that while this margin for men to be affectionate with one another is widening, the line between homosexual and heterosexual is being blurred. Am I losing my ability to accurately spot gay men in the crowd, or are gay men and straight men becoming more alike? I find the latter to be more accurate when laid next to the observable and measurable reality.

And how exactly are straight men benefitting from queerbaiting? Well, straight men can now “get away with” flirting with gay men. What I mean by “get away with” is that straight men seem to enjoy flirting with their gay brothers, they enjoy receiving flirtation from their gay brothers, but the buck stops there. Straight men more and more often participate in these queerbaiting behaviors (it’s queerbaiting by virtue of the flirtations leading nowhere), only to maintain their own heterosexual identities by denying homosexual intentions, but still benefitting from the received attentions of both sexes.

They’ve stolen our cake and are now eating it, too.

Even worse, when Narnians do participate in homosexual activities, the selfidentified gay participant is almost always the party left the pick up the pieces, for both themselves and the Narnian. Yes, even we gay people participate in queerbaiting. Our participation is marked by our continued silence and willingness to assist Narnians in their self-denial, their self-shame, and self-delusion, which is all too obliging.

This is why I do not have sex with Narnians. I refuse to put myself back into the wardrobe and freeze myself over in a blizzard of icy self-hatred and self-denial, especially for the mere comfort and convenience of a closeted man. If someone wishes to remain a Narnian, or to continue living in Narnia, I will not betray them to the White Witch – but I won’t be sleeping with them either.

And to those who wish to queerbait me – don’t tempt me with an offer to go spring cleaning.

Questions, comment, or critique?

Feel free to e-mail the author at: brandonbrooks@mail.adelphi.edu ■

ON GARD

The Gay Alliance on-line Resource Directory The online community tool-providing local, state and national resources... twenty-four, seven! www.gayalliance.org

JUNE 2016 • NUMBER 501 • THE GAY ALLIANCE • THE EMPTY CLOSET

Find the friends, fun, and common interests you’re looking for through the various groups listed here.

Community

DIGNITY-INTEGRITY

OPEN ARMS MCC

Since March, 1975, Dignity-Integrity Rochester has been welcoming all who come through our doors, worshiping every week at 5 p.m. at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh Street, at the corner of Broad St. We have the following services and activities for the month of June, 2016.

1st Sunday: Episcopal Mass/Healing Service, with music 2nd Sunday: Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, with music 3rd Sunday: Episcopal Mass, quiet 4th Sunday: Prayers to start the Week, coffee hour to follow (no potluck this month) We’re not having our traditional potluck supper on the fourth Sunday in June.

(The potluck dinner will return in July.)

There will be a coffee hour after the service and you’re welcome to join us! After each service during the remainder of the month we’ll be gathering for fellowship around a tasty coffee hour and going out to a local restaurant for dinner. Join us anytime!

Remember that you can always call the Hotline at 585-234-5092 or check our website at www.di-rochester.org/ for updates on services and activities.

We invite you to join us on Sundays at 10:30 a.m. for a vibrant and exciting blended worship experience that includes contemporary and traditional hymns, inclusive language, and a useful and timely message.

We engage the living word of God as it speaks to us as citizens of the modern world. We celebrate an open communion table - that means that you don’t have to be a part of our church, or any church at all to participate. When the service ends, join us for coffee, fellowship and a snack in the Community Center.

Open Arms -- beyond open, beyond affirming, beyond welcoming -- here is where you will find acceptance and the love of Christ in everything we do!

Forty or so people partied and danced at the first ever Pride Prom held by the MCC Pride Alliance and WMCC the Pulse (the on campus radio station) of Monroe Community College at the Open Arms Community Center on Friday, May 13. The prom was for anyone who did not feel safe or welcome at their own prom due to their sexual orientation or gender expression.

Here’s what’s happening at Open Arms for the next month or two: Wednesdays at 10:30 a.m., our Provisional Pastor Brae Adams is leading a Bible study on the book of Acts.

Sunday School for Teens & Tweens is on the first of each the month at 9:15 a.m. and refreshments are served.

On Friday, July 1 we will be working the pop/hot dog stand for the Rochester Red Wings 7:05 p.m. game. Then on Wednesday, July 20 from 9 a.m.-2 p.m. we will participate in the Red Wings Kids Camp Day, assembling and handing out box lunches. We need lots of volunteers so contact Open Arms if you’d like to participate in this FUNdraiser and come join us for fun at the ballgame!

Our TR ANSformative Ministry Team’s vision statement is: “We are a faith community that supports and respects people of all gender identities and gender expressions.” And our mission statement: “We create ties by linking people of diverse gender identities and/or expressions, and allies, through stewardship, education, and social justice.”

We will accomplish these through worship, prayer, education, outreach, inreach and activism. We welcome you to join us on our journey toward a fuller understanding, support and inclusion of our trans friends and family members in the life of our church. Check our Facebook page for the dates and time of up-

EMPIRE BEARS Summer’s here. Members are spending weekends at Jones Pond and Hillside.

Look for us.

July 15-17 is Bear Weekend at Jones.

Wednesday suppers continue. June 1 is Beale Street on South. 6/8 is Mt. Albans Mexican Grill on Empire. 6/15 is Carrabbas, 6/22 is Winfield Grill, 6/29 is The King and I. Join us in an outing. Potlucks are done for the summer, but we have a picnic planned for Sunday, June 12 in Mt. Morris. Meet at the damsite south of town on Rte. 408 at 2 p.m. Bring a dish to pass.

LORA LORA Knitting Group meets first and third Wednesdays, at Equal Grounds Coffee House, 750 South Ave. from 6-8 p.m. Bring supplies/your latest project! Tuition provided. For further information contact Kerry, hostess, at DressyFemme@aol.com.

LORA Brunch takes place the third Sunday of the month at 10 a.m. at Pixley’s Restaurant, 2235 Buffalo Rd. Come join us for brunch and lively conversation!

coming meetings.

We host a number of community groups in our Community Center: AFTY (Adult Families with Trans Youth) meets the first Tuesday of each month from 5:30-6:30 p.m. PFLAG (Parents, Friends and Family of Lesbians, Gays, Trans, and Questioning) meets on the third Sunday of each month at 1 p.m. TAGR, Trans Alliance of Greater Rochester meets on the third Saturday of each month from 3-5:30 p.m.

We have a bin in the Community Center for recycling items like empty ink cartridges, empty toner cartridges, cell phones, chargers, batteries, cords.

You can also drop off your scrap metal to be recycled at Metalico Rochester and you will earn money for Open Arms. Days will be arranged for drop off at church as well. Let your neighbors and friends know they can drop off recyclable metal, too. Just mention that it is for the Open Arms MCC account and the proceeds of the recyclables will come to us.

We have a supply of non-perishable items in stock for when our neighbors stop in looking for emergency supplies. If you are out shopping and can pick up one or two items it would be greatly appreciated. Some ideas for contributions are toiletries, including toothpaste, soap, paper towels, toilet paper, tampons, sanitary pads, and baby wipes. Non-perishable food items that require little preparation including pasta meals, canned meat/tuna, vegetables, and beans, also dry food items such as cereal, pasta and mixes. Pop-top cans are also appreciated as many homeless persons do not have access to can openers. Pet food is also needed. We also have some clothing available - socks, shoes, sneakers and shirts.

Our facilities are also available for rental by any community groups or individuals needing a safe and flexible meeting space. You can see our ad with pictures and rental fees on Craigslist.

Open Arms MCC is committed to Building Bridges and Changing Lives.

You are welcome, regardless of your sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression, or religious beliefs. We are located at 707 East Main St., across from the Delta Sonic. There is plenty of free parking in front and to the side of our building. For updated information on coming events and to view our facilities, check our website: openarmsmcc.org.

Our provisional pastoral leader, Brae Adams, has office hours on Wednesdays, from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. and by appointment. (please call first to make sure she’s available) We are also open Thursdays and Fridays from 12-4:00 p.m. Our phone number is (585) 271-8478.

ROCHESTER BUTCHFEMME CONNECTION SUPPER CLUB

Joe Russo, Psy.D., CGP

ge han C o et t k c Ro

Licensed Psychologist Certified Group Psychotherapist 25 Canterbury Road, Suite 313 Rochester, New York 14607 Phone: (585) 506-6096 E-mail: joerussopsyd@gmail.com

Addiction ▼ Anxiety ▼

Depression ▼ Grief/Loss ▼

Trauma ▼ Relationships ▼

▼ Weekly

Bi/Gay Men’s Therapy Group

The Rochester Butch Femme Connection supper club will have one dinner event in June 2016.

On June 4 we will meet at Hibachi Sushi Buffet in Southtown Plaza, at 7 p.m., in Henrietta.

For further information, contact Kerry at DressyFemme@aol.com.

ROMANS ROMANS (Rochester Male Naturists) is a private social club for gay and gay friendly nudists over 21. We get together regularly every month to hang out, play some games or learn something.

We have hot tub parties, massage

25 demonstration, kinky games night, and in our May meeting we “experienced” the shocking fun of a violet wand. Nothing sexual but it was fun to witness the possibilities. Our meetings also give us the chance to share our joy of cooking.

During the summer months, we have outdoor skinny dipping parties and some members will join many male nudists at Jones Pond Campground and the GNI Gathering at a beautiful camp resort in the Pocono mountains. Members also organize semi-official clothed trips to art shows, pride parades, cultural performances, museum tours, etc.

ROMANS opens up your mind to nudism in an all male environment. You can find out more about the ROMANS on our website at www.wnyromans. com. If you are interested in becoming a member, contact us via email at wnyromans@yahoo.com, or by regular mail at PO Box 92293, Rochester, NY 14692 or call us at our message line 585281-4964.

TEAM ROCHESTER The Grand Palais is supporting Paris 2018 and will open its doors to Gay Games participants and supporters during the Opening Ceremony party on 4 August 2016.

Thousands of people will attend the soirée under the glass roof of the Grand Palais to celebrate the opening of the first Gay Games in France. An exceptional design team will transform this jewel of Parisian heritage into a unique nightclub for this special event. (reprinted from www.paris2018.com) Early registration is now open and costs €120 ($135); each sport also has its own entry fee. The host committee in Paris is projecting 15,000 participants in the 36 sports, band and cultural festival, which will make it the largest sporting event in the world.

Gay Games Team Rochester Paris 2018…. is the name of the private Facebook group created by the Team Rochester committee in preparation for the next Gay Games. Please add your name if you have even the remotest interest in going to Paris, either as a participant or a fan. A Meet & Greet is being planned for Aug. 4; invitations will be sent via the Facebook group site.

Already, we have 16 Rochesterians interested in participating in the following sports: marathon, half marathon, 5K, 10K, bowling, swimming, volleyball & triathlon. It would be nice if we could recruit a couple bowling teams, a couple volleyball teams, a softball team and even a roller derby team. Can you imagine 60 athletes and fans traveling from Rochester? The more, the Mary-er!

Steven Farrington is a Spanish and French professor at MCC. He said, “I will be the captain of the Team Rochester, and will help to organize our team in Paris. I am super excited to do this!

I will once again run a race (either the 10K or the Half-marathon, like I did in Cleveland in 2014). I plan also to be a volunteer in general for the games, as I can speak several languages and would like to be an interpreter there, representing both Rochester and the US (unless Trump wins this November, in which case, I may be representing Canada!)

“I plan to arrive early and stay late for the Gay Games in 2018. I hope to partner with Jo Meleca-Voigt to plan excursions and a possible tour of Paris and/or the Loire Valley (I studied in Tours in the late ‘90s), or possible trips to Italy or Spain.

“We will be having an informal gettogether for folks interested in going to the Gay Games in 2018. Those interested can join the Facebook group for Team Rochester Gay Games 2018 or can contact me at sfarrington@monroecc.edu for more information.”

For more information on Gay Games 2018: www.paris2018.com or contact the Facebook group. ■

26

THE EMPTY CLOSET • THE GAY ALLIANCE • NUMBER 501 • JUNE 2016

Introducing a new feature: Community Spotlight

The G.R.E.A.T. tournament took place at Empire Lanes. Photo: Dave Emlen

Rochester Historical Bowling Society In September, the Rochester Historical Bowling Society, or RHBS, began its 34th season with a move to Empire Lanes in Webster. The league, which consists of 20 teams, meets every Monday at 7 p.m. and is open to men and women of all bowling skills and abilities. The emphasis is on enjoying an evening of fun and friendship, rather than on competition.

RHBS was founded by some bowlers from Toronto who put an ad in The Empty Closet around 1987.

Paul Scheib, former Gay Alliance Board President and co-founder of ACTUP Rochester, is a long-time member of the league and is currently the NE regional director of IGBO (the International Gay Bowling Organization). He was among those who presented the Gay Alliance with a check for $10,000 after the G.R.E.A.T. Tournament in May. “G.R.E.A.T. stands for Greater Rochester Eastern Area Tournament,” he explained. “It was started 29 years ago when the officers of the Rochester Historical Bowling Society (RHBS) decided we wanted a tournament which would benefit AIDS charities. The first year was for patient care at UR – we wanted funds to go to actual patient care and services.

“The next year, 1988, the charity was Community Health Network (now Tril-

Paul Scheib. Photo: Susan Jordan

lium Health). This year we decided to recognize the Gay Alliance.”

The tournament started as a one-day no-tap tournament, and now has expanded to become a three-day weekend. “It’s always the weekend before Mother’s Day,” Paul said. “RHBS is a member league of IGBO. There are over 100 gay bowling leagues in the US, Canada, New Zealand and this year we’re adding Germany as a league member of IGBO. “IGBO organizes the bowling during the Gay Games, which will be 2018 in Paris. I’d love to go back there!”

RHBS used to meet at Clover Lanes, and now is at Empire Lanes. For information on joining, go to rhbs.org. ■

Tournament organizers present the check to Gay Alliance ED Scott Fearing and Board President David Zona. Photo: Dave Emlen

JUNE 2016 • NUMBER 501 • THE GAY ALLIANCE • THE EMPTY CLOSET

27

Arts & Entertainment

Winning Streak (2016). Photo: Manuel Pena

Manuel Peña’s “Roadside Attraction” is the June exhibit at Gallery Q Here comes Gallery Q First Friday for June!

For several years, Manuel Peña has photographed the annual Gay Alliance Ride for Pride, a 50-mile fundraising bicycle ride. In his exhibit, Roadside Attraction, he presents a collection of photographs that captures some of the fun and exciting moments shared by the riders both in and out of the saddle, as well as a series of black and white portraits that present the viewer with an intimate peek into the hearts and passions of some of the riders that drive this event.

You are invited to the Roadside Attraction opening reception from 6-9 p.m. on Friday, June 3. Visit this collection of photographs from June 3 to June 26 at Gallery Q, 100 College Ave., Rochester, NY 14607. 100 percent of the profits will go to the Gay Alliance. Call 585244-8640 for more information.

G A L L ERY Q

See “Five Lesbians Eating a Quiche” at Downstairs Cabaret Downstairs Cabaret Theatre is presenting the hilarious cult show Five Lesbians Eating A Quiche, running until June 19.

Five Lesbians Eating A Quiche is chock-full of tonguein-cheek double-entendres, blended with some deeply touching moments as well. Five Lesbians Eating A Quiche was the winner of the 2012 New York International Fringe Festival for Best Overall Production.

The show, a parody of sexual repression set in 1956, begins at the Susan B. Anthony Society for the Sisters of Gertrude Stein’s annual quiche breakfast.

Lulie Stanwych the president, Wren Robin the events chairwoman, Veronica “Vern” Schultz the buildings and grounds chairman, Ginny Cadbury the secretary, and Dale Prist the historian lead the society. And everyone in the audience is a member!

Eggs are sacred to the followers of the society, and there are scenes of graphic quiche eating. During the course of the show the outside world will be destroyed, and it is apparent that members of the Susan B. Anthony Society will be the only living members of the human race.

Downstairs Cabaret’s production is directed by co-author Evan Linder. Linder is a founding member of The New Colony theatre (winner of Broadway in Chicago’s Emerging Theatre Award - 2011) in Chicago, where he also serves as Co-Artistic Director. He works as a playwright, actor and director. He also teaches playwriting at the University of Chicago. Evan’s first play produced in Chicago, FRAT, was named as one of the Best of 2009 in the Chicago Tribune, Windy City Times and Newcity. Other works include

11:11, The Warriors, The Bear Suit of Happiness, and B-Side Studio. The New York International Fringe Festival production of 5 Lesbians Eating a Quiche immediately transferred to an Off-Broadway run as part of the Soho Playhouse’s 2012-2013 season. In 2013, Evan was listed on Chicago Magazine’s Power List of Theater Scene Stealers.

In 2014, Evan originated the roles of Jonathan in The New Colony’s reWILDing Genius for Steppenwolf’s Garage Rep and Orville in Orville and Wilbur Did It! with The New Colony.

2014 also saw his play Byhalia, Mississippi named the winner of the New Works Competition at Playhouse on the Square in Memphis, TN. Byhalia, Mississippi received simultaneous world premieres in four cities (Chicago, Memphis, Toronto and Charleston, SC) in January 2016.

The cast of 5 Lesbians Eating a Quiche at Downstairs Cabaret Theatre features Rachel Farmer as Lulie, Megan Bowers as Wren, Ashley Rountree as Vern, Caitlin Chuckta as Ginny, and Stephanie Shum as Dale.

Performances will take place at Downstairs Cabaret Theatre, 20 Windsor St., Rochester through June 19: Thursdays at 7 p.m., Fridays at 8 p.m., Saturdays at 8 p.m. and Sundays at 6 p.m. Convenient free parking is available. Ticket prices range from $30 to $33, depending on performance times (discounts are available for selected performances for seniors age 60+; groups of 10+; full-time students; military personnel and current DCT members). Seating is reserved for parties of five or more and DCT members of $100 or more. The show runs one hour 10 minutes without an intermission. For reservations, membership and volunteering opportunities, call (585) 325- 4370 or visit www.

DownstairsCabaret.com.

The Calamari Sisters cook up a clambake at JCC, June 1-5 Look out! The Calamari Sisters are back at the JCC after their record-breaking run of “Oy Vey” with an all-new show.

This summer, Delphine and Carmela are cooking up a delightfully zany and slightly fishy picnic. You’ll laugh until your sides hurt as these two plus-size siblings sing, dance, and cook their way through the ins and outs of an Italian clambake.

Performance Schedule: Wednesday, June 1 at 7 p.m.; Thursday, June 2 at 7 p.m.; Saturday, June 4 at 2 p.m.; Saturday, June 4 at 8 p.m.; Sunday, June 5 at 2 p.m.

Tickets are $29-40, Member: $27-35, Students: $20. Tickets and info at jcccenterstage.org; (585) 461-2000

Big Queer Prom welcomes youth on June 4 at Center You SHALL go to the Ball!

The MasQUEERade Ball on June 4 gives LGBTQ youth a chance to socialize and have fun like any other youth at a prom where their identity won’t be criticized; where they won’t be verbally or physically harassed.

The Big Gay Prom has been providing this experience to Rochester-area youth for years, and now it is doing it as the more inclusive Big Queer Prom.

LGBTQ youth and allies, ages 13-20, have free admission to the Ball, from 7-11 p.m. on June 4 at the Resource Center, 100

College Ave. The Gay Alliance sponsors this event, along with the Center for Youth, Quest at Trillium Health, and the MOCHA Center.

Sign up for free Out at Seneca Park Zoo on June 12 Out at Seneca Park Zoo is a new event -- a free night for the LGBTQ community.

Thanks to a generous donation, the Seneca Park Zoo Society welcomes the LGBTQ community free of charge for a private evening at the Zoo on June 12 from 5-7 p.m.

Advance tickets are required. Sign up now, tickets are limited.

Tickets available at outatthezoo.eventbrite.com until June 9.

For more information on the new Barbara Bonin Bear Habitat, see page 3.

Trillium hosts White Ball on June 11 Step back into the Roaring ‘20s for an evening of cocktails and dancing under the stars to benefit Trillium Health’s LGBTQ Health Initiative.

The White Ball is Saturday, June 11, from 7-11 p.m. at the Rochester Academy of Medicine, 1441 East Ave. Tickets are $100; the VIP ticket, $150, includes the 6 p.m. champagne reception.

Cocktails and light fare will be provided by All Occasions Catering & Events Planning. The evening includes dancing to Swing Dynasty and a silent auction powered by BidPal. This year’s White Party will benefit Trillium’s Patient Care Fund, which allows the health center to keep care accessible and affordable.

Proceeds also fund new ideas, innovations, and approaches to reducing health disparities within the LGBTQ community.

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ImageOut Film Fest seeks “Flower City Flicks” submissions ImageOut, Rochester’s LGBTQ Film Fest, is seeking submissions from shortfilm makers with a Rochester connection for its Flower City Flicks program.

Returning for its 13th year, Flower City Flicks offers a specific spotlight in Upstate New York’s largest LGBTQ arts event and most celebrated film festival to local film makers (and those with a local connection) exploring lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer/questioning subjects and themes in short film.

“It’s a boom time for short-film makers,” says Paul Allen, Festival Chair. “The technology in most people’s phones is up to the task of capturing great video – all that’s missing is the film maker’s vision to turn that into cinema.” Allen cites the recent Tribeca Snapchat Shorts as an example of harnessing the popular social media platform to edit and stitch together compelling narratives. “We want to encourage local filmmakers of all technical levels to tell their stories to our audiences,” he concluded.

The Flower City Flicks program origi-

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nated in 2004 and since 2008 a cash prize honoring Mary Elizabeth Knight has been bestowed on the jury-selected winner.

Knight was a long-time supporter of ImageOut and fan of Flower City Flicks and following conversations with her husband Clem, a loyal ImageOut supporter himself, the Mary Elizabeth Knight Flower City Flicks Fund was created to support this cash award. Acceptance in the Flower City Flicks program makes a film or video a finalist for this honor.

Past Mary Elizabeth Knight award winners have included Gerry Szymanski for his 2008 documentary “In•Sight•Out: Mark Groaning” featuring the well-known local artist and Ithaca filmmaker Becky Lane for her 2011 “Poker Face”. In 2013 a special award was made to the “Shoulders to Stand On” documentary on Rochester’s LGBT history, directed by Kevin Indovino and produced by Evelyn Bailey.

The 2016 Flower City Flicks submission deadline will be June 30 and this year the competition will accept and showcase film and video of fifteen minutes or less, which may range from narrative to documentary to experimental in nature. Films should have an LGBTQ theme or feature LGBTQ characters and a connection to the Roches-

ter, NY region. Exhibition formats include film prints and digital formats. There is a $10 processing fee to enter for up to two submissions and a DVD preview copy or online screener is required along with a completed submission form which can be downloaded at http://www.imageout.org/2016/ documents/IOFilmFCFCall2016.pdf

“Oriented” depicts three gay Palestinian friends in Tel Aviv; opens June 21 Quiver, an independent film distribution film company, is preparing to release a new documentary called “Oriented”, which follows three gay Palestinian friends confronting their national and sexual identities in modern Tel Aviv, Israel.

The film is scheduled to launch on DVD and VOD (Itunes, Indemand, Amazon, Google Play, Dish confirmed so far) beginning June 21st – joining in on Pride celebrations around the world. The film debuted with a 100 screening tour around the world, including appearances in Newfest, Sheffield Doc/Fest, IDFA 2015, Los Angeles Film Festival, and Dok Leipzig.

ORIENTED follows the lives of three gay Palestinian friends as they confront their national and sexual identities in modern Tel Aviv, Israel. There’s Khader, a nightlife “darling” who lives with his Jewish boyfriend David. Fadi, an ardent Palestinian nationalist, finds himself falling in love with an Israeli soldier. Naim, must find the courage to come out to his conservative family. Determined to change their reality, the three friends form a nonviolent, cultural resistance group called “Qambuta” (Cauliflower) to advocate for sexual, ethnic and gender equality.

If you would like to learn more about the film, follow the movie on Facebook or visit the official website.

energy here in Rochester and I have been dreaming of a program of temporary public sculpture for many years. We are excited to work with our friends and neighbors at Christ Church to regularly refresh our neighborhood with varied and surprising artworks.”

The inaugural outdoor exhibition, What You Put In by Kevin Dartt (Rochester, NY) is a large sculptural water feature that investigates water use in relation to the largest system of fresh water in the United States, The Great Lakes. The exhibition will run from June 1 through September 30 and be available to the public, free of charge day and night. It will be installed adjacent to RoCo’s 137 East Ave. location on the grounds of Christ Church.

What You Put In playfully resembles a series of sinks and alludes to domestic water usage. The artist encourages neighbors and passers-by to become the stewards of these surrogate lakes and The Great Lakes. The artist’s goal with this work is “to break our complacency of abusing fresh water by bringing it [the lakes] to a human scale.” Dartt is a recent graduate of Alfred University. He was also an Open Studio Fellow with Franconia Sculpture Park in 2013 and his recent projects include Mt. Marcy Couch on the grounds of Governor’s Island, NYC among other group exhibitions. Kevin adds, “I’m excited to be part of RoCo’s new program to display public sculpture.

Making sculpture for public spaces is quite a process that involves the entire community. To have this support is amazing.”

RoCo will begin modestly with two sculptures per year, and hopes to grow the scope over time. Each sculpture will be installed for several months. Some outdoor pieces will correspond with the current indoor exhibition while others will stand alone and be presented in partnership with other organizations. Rochester Contemporary Art Center (RoCo) is especially interested in projects that respond to the unique architecture of the location and character of the neighborhood. A request for future proposals will be announced soliciting projects from regional and national artists who work in public space.

What You Put In, is sponsored by the Alliance for the Great Lakes (Chicago, IL) and The Nature Conservancy, New York’s Central & Western Chapter (Rochester, NY).

The 2016-17 public art program is dedicated to Sarah Collins and Mary Alice Wolf, two amazing women who were longtime friends of one another and generous supporters of RoCo. Both women recently passed away within weeks of each other. We celebrate their lives and their commitment to contemporary art with this year’s program.

Annapolis Trip: In Need of Coffee

Kevin Dartt

RoCo partners with Christ Church on public art program Rochester Contemporary Art Center in partnership with Christ Church is proud to announce a new public art program on East Ave. This initiative aims to expand Downtown Rochester’s Public Art offerings with temporary, site-specific public sculptures and special projects.

Sculptures will be executed by a range of professional and emerging artists from Rochester and beyond and will be curated

by RoCo and guest curators. As a continuation of RoCo’s contemporary Art programs, these outdoor public art exhibitions will bring new artworks and ideas into Rochester and support the realization of new projects by regional artists.

Bleu Cease, the Executive Director/ Curator of RoCo, notes, “We are always looking for new ways to foster creative

By Merle Exit A recent road trip to Annapolis first brought us for coffee and lunch at Baltimore Coffee and Tea, just outside from the downtown area.

Kim and Becky are the very friendly and helpful managers. The beans themselves are roasted at their main plant in Timonium. You’ll want to inhale that great aroma when you enter and view a whole load of bags conspicuously placed there. Yes, you can buy the beans and even have them grind it to your liking.

It looks as though the beans are divided into three categories: regular, decaffeinated and flavored. I, personally, do not like flavored coffees as they tend to be artificial. Although caffeine hits me, I time it with not having it first thing in the morning or before I go to sleep.

Sauntered over to the counter to peer at the menu. There were six brewed coffees to choose from and was able to taste them all, if I wanted to. Wanting an Iced Latte, the coffee choice is their Italian Espresso Milano. It is described as an artful blending of Costa Rican Tarazzu, Fancy Bourbon Santos, Tanzania Peaberry & Ethiopian Harrar. It gives this blend incredible flavor with a rich cara-

JUNE 2016 • NUMBER 501 • THE GAY ALLIANCE • THE EMPTY CLOSET mel crema for an extraordinary espresso.

Since it was lunchtime, I ordered their Cranberry Walnut chicken salad with lettuce and tomatoes.

With the help of Kim and Becky, I chose four ounces of four coffees to use in my Aeropress. It was recommended to be ground between espresso and drip.

Baltimore Blend (darkest roast) - Our famous and best-selling house blend, we’re proud to feature this as our homage to our home city. A careful blending of Guatemala Antiqua, Colombian Supremo, and Fancy Bourbon Santos this coffee gives a combination rich taste with a mellow body.

Renaissance Blend (dark roast) - This coffee holds all the promise of the flavors of Italy. An indulgent blend of French Roast, Italian Roast and Viennese Colombian.

Indian Monsoon Malabar (medium roast) - This incredible coffee from the Malabar region of Southern India offers a brew with a sweetly fermented fruit flavor that has an intriguing musty tone, but one that is not at all sharply bitter.

Very low in acidity, the muskiness of this coffee is obtained by exposing the beans to the humid monsoon winds for 12 - 16 months prior to export. Loved the latte so I got the Espresso Milano.

Taking photos, I noticed that they carry an entire line of teas as well. Black, green, white, decaffeinated, mixtures of tea and herbs, herbal and herbal mixtures. Herbals are always caffeine free due to their not deriving from a tea leaf. Love the packaging. You can get loose tea or tea bags. Surprisingly, many of the loose teas come with a reusable tea bag. The 3-oz packages under the name of Eastern Shore Tea Company, brew 50-60 cups of tea. That is because you only need one teaspoon per cup. What did I get? African Red Bush Tea (rooibos). Nantucket Mint Herbal Tea – redbush, vanilla, spearmint, hibiscus. The back of the bag has a history and full description of the teas. Got a cranberry-apple muffin to go… it was delish. www.baltimorecoffee.com

Pandora Boxx’s stolen DragCon money is replaced by her fans Pandora Boxx, our own Rochester drag queen gone national celebrity, was at RuPaul’s DragCon in L.A. in May –when someone stole the money she had made from merchandise sales -- $1000.

Pandora tweeted: “To the person who took the plastic blue striped envelope from my booth, thank you for taking all of my merchandise money I made #DragCon” Her friend and colleague Ongina quickly set up a GoFundMe to help Pandora. The response was amazing, with over $2000 coming in within 24 hours.

Pandora told her fans, “So grateful to my friend Ongina for setting this up and even more grateful to all the people who made this happen. It warms my heart. I love you all!”

To join them, go to https://www. gofundme.com/pandoraboxx

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Adrian Bartholomeo and Adrianne Chesser. Photo: Jamie Allen

Ride For Pride 2016: Be A Part of Our Success

By Jeanne Gainsburg It’s Ride For Pride month! On Saturday, June 18, approximately 50 bikers, two support vehicles and one random guy on a skateboard will set out from Fairport on a 50-mile ride to support the Gay Alliance.

Our goal this year is to raise $40,000!

How can you help? Thanks so much for asking!

1) Go to our webpage at: http://www.gayalliance.org/ride-for-pride Click on a rider’s name and make a tax deductible donation!

2) Visit our June gallery display “Roadside Attraction” by photographer Manuel Peña, and purchase a piece of Ride For Pride art.

Manuel is donating 100 percent of the money from this event to Ride For Pride! Opening night is Friday, June 3 from 6-9 p.m.

3) Donate a gift certificate or gift item! Gift bags are given to the 12 riders who bring in the highest donations to the Gay Alliance. If you own a shop or service, please consider making an in-kind, tax deductible donation to Ride For Pride! Contact jeanneg@gayalliance. org for more information.

4) Call the office and make a donation! Let the office staff member or volunteer know that your donation is going to support Ride For Pride! 585-244-8640 Thank you so much for supporting this wonderful event and our amazing agency! Keep the shiny side up!

Volunteer of the Month: Laura Buttiglieri When you visit the Gay Alliance LGBTQ Resource Center on Monday afternoons, you are greeted by our June volunteer of the month Laura Buttiglieri.

Laura has been an office volunteer for the past three years. She greets everyone with a smile and a warm hello, she is very organized and dependable. Laura excels in helping enter data into our database and is always willing to take on any task no matter the size.

Laura said: I’m Laura Buttiglieri. I’m originally from Queens, New York. I moved to the Finger Lakes area with my parents and sister in 2008. We came up here after my father retired from his job. From living in a busy city to an area surrounded by farmland there was some adjusting to do.

After a while, a life of a quieter environment is something that I actually enjoy.

I worked a few jobs that I didn’t really think were interesting and I rarely felt any enjoy-

Laura Buttiglieri.

ment doing. I was debating on going to college because I really wasn’t sure what I wanted to do.

And I didn’t really like the idea of going to college and not having a concrete plan. The realization that I would have all these student loans piling up the longer I was in school was not something that I knew I would be happy about in the coming years. I was contemplating going to beauty school because it was something that sounded good for the time being.

During that I also filled out a sign‐up sheet to volunteer at

the Gay Alliance; this was something that helped change what I wanted to do. I started volunteering in the office and later started helping out at the Pride Festival. Doing all of this I realized that I liked helping people. And a few months after my thirtieth birthday I came to the conclusion that I need to start doing something that I enjoy. Something that I would be proud doing. So I enrolled in college and am going for a degree in Human Services. With this degree I hope to become a community social worker or to work as a social worker in a shelter. My real ambition is to continue school to receive a doctorate in social work.

Besides volunteering and being a student I also work close to where I live. There is a consistency of some sort of work from Mondays to Saturdays. The busyness is something that I enjoy although I miss doing a mixture of arts and craft projects in my spare time. These projects are something that I usually start all at once and find myself forgetting to finish them. But they help to pass time and distract me from the stress of school and work.

However, there are more projects that I am taking on.

My fiancée and I are planning our wedding that is set for later this year. We have been together for about seven years and are happy that we are taking this new adventure. This is something that we are looking forward to a lot and are joyful to be having our close family and friends to be a part of it.

I have been volunteering for the GAGV since 2013, three years this June. It is something that I look forward to every week. I never really lasted at most of my jobs long. This is the longest that I ever stayed with anything. I’m not just saying that because it seems appropriate, but I truly mean that I like volunteering. It is something that has helped change the path in my life and I am truly grateful for it.

Meet the Gay Alliance office administrator, Julia Acosta

By Susan Jordan Julia Acosta was a Navy brat, born in NYC, but “I grew up a little bit of everywhere.”

She moved to Rochester with her parents in 2007. “I was an 18-year-old who knew everything – so I moved back in with them,” she says.

Julia went to Brockport for both her BS (a double major in sociology and women’s studies) and MA (in Islamic history).

She says, “I was advised by my faculty advisor to go into non profit work!”

Why the Gay Alliance? Julia said, “I worked at the Brockport

Five young Japanese visitors came by the LGBTQ Resource Center in May as a part of the International Visitor Leadership Program organized by Rochester Global Connections. They were here for a round-table discussion with the LGBTQ Academy team on inclusion in the workplace. Photo: Susan Jordan

Julia Acosta. Photo Susan Jordan

bookstore my junior year and they opened a satellite here in Rochester. It’s one thing to help people find books, and another to advocate for them. I wanted to have a sense of accomplishment in what I do—it’s doing something you can be proud of.”

Julia has what might be described as colorful plans for the LGBTQ Resource Center.

“I want to introduce a more colorful form of organization,” she said. “I like colors and putting things in colored folders – makes them easier to find! At least one thing about archival work – everything is always the same color, so you have to use numbers to find what you’re looking for!”

She added, “I’ll be meeting and greeting people here and finding the right office volunteer for the right task.”

Julia is very knowledgeable about computers, and loves board games, especially Scrabble. And in addition to her new job (she started May 2), she has also been making changes in her personal life, including a new home and pets. “I just moved in with my better half in Henrietta, and she has a dog and a cat.”

Registration opens for summer SafeZone training The LGBTQ Academy SafeZone Training is a four-hour, dynamic, interactive workshop that includes activities and discussion around: LGBTQ inclusive and respectful language, the process of coming out, understanding sexual and gender identity, taking action, respect-

ful communication in the face of resistance, where to go for help and much more.

This session will give participants the skills they need to provide support and to create environments that are safe and inclusive.

Date and Time: Thursday, Aug. 11, from 9 a.m.-1 p.m. (check in at 8:45 a.m.)

Location: The LGBTQ Academy’s Education Center (100 College Avenue. Rochester, NY 14607). Free parking.

Registration Info: Go to www.gayalliance.org and click on the “SafeZone Training” slide to register. Cost is $50 (which includes a SafeZone Manual, SafeZone sticker, SafeZone lapel pin and breakfast) Feedback from our 2016: “I learned how to be a better support system and advocate for my students. Super interactive and personal, which I think is critica to effective learning.

Don’t change a thing!”

“The presenter is excellent!

This presentation is full of valuable information. Highly recommend this training for all healthcare professionals.”

“I learned that identity is up to the individual – not my eyesight. Can’t think of anything that could have made this presentation better – it was so good.

Thanks!”

“A very comprehensive, thought-provoking and informative presentation. Everyone on campus should have some form of this training.”

“I learned how to create a safe and inclusive environment where people of any race, sex, ethnicity, sexual orientation can be comfortable. The presenter had the ability to make a person comfortable in a learning environment regardless of differences, beliefs, culture and without being judgmental.”

“I learned that I don’t have to know all the answers, but I know where to find them. The presenters were wonderful.”

100% of the participants from these trainings rated both our training and our presenters “very good” to “excellent.”

The Gay Alliance is a non-profit agency, dedicated to cultivating a healthy, inclusive environment where Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning (LGBTQ) people are safe, thriving, and enjoying equal rights. We are a coalition of individuals and groups working to empower LGBTQ people to affirm their identities and create an atmosphere where the diversity can thrive both collectively and separately. We educate and advocate for civil rights for all and for the eradication of homophobia.

Board President: David Zona • Executive Director: Scott Fearing • Education Director: Jeanne Gainsburg Education Coordinator: Rowan Collins • Office Administrator Julia Acosta • Database: Kat Wiggall Bookkeeper: Christopher Hennelly The Empty Closet: Editor: Susan Jordan, E-mail: susanj@gayalliance.org Phone: (585) 244-9030 Designer: Jim Anderson Fax: (585) 244-8246 Advertising: (585) 244-9030; jennieb@gayalliance.org.

The Gay Alliance, 100 College Avenue, Rochester, New York 14607 • Hours: Monday-Friday, 9 am-5 pm Phone: (585) 244-8640 • Fax: (585) 244-8246 • Website: www.gayalliance.org • E-mail: Info@gayalliance.org

JUNE 2016 • NUMBER 501 • THE GAY ALLIANCE • THE EMPTY CLOSET

GAY ALLIANCE NEWS – JUNE 2016

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SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS APRIL 2016 • SafeZone Training at Quinebaug Valley Community College • SafeZone Train-the-Trainer Certification Program at University of Tulsa • LGBTQ Themed Book Discussion at Macedon Public Library • Meeting the Health Needs of LGBTQ Clients at Wegmans School of Nursing at SJFC • Creating LGBTQ Inclusive Schools - Part 1 at Bay Trail Middle School • Transgender Inclusion in Sports at the Section V. Sportsmanship Summit • Communicating Respectfully With LGBTQ Individuals at Genesee Valley BOCES Employee Assistance Program • GSA Activity Training at GSA Consortium at the LGBTQ Academy • Meeting the Mental Health Needs of the LGBTQ Client at SUNY Brockport • Meeting the Needs of LGBTQ Older Adults at Roberts Wesleyan College • SafeZone Train-the-Trainer Certification Program at Louisiana State University School of Nursing • Shoulders To Stand On Film and Discussion at the Arnett Library • Shoulders To Stand On Film and Discussion at Penfield Library • Trans Healthcare Panel at the Greater Rochester Area Finger Lakes American Association of Critical Care Nurses • Meeting the Health Needs of LGBTQ Clients at the NYSUT Professional Issues Forum on Health Care • Creating LGBTQ Inclusive Schools at Monroe #1 BOCES • Creating Transgender Inclusive Athletic Programs at Monroe #1 BOCES • SafeZone Training at Hilton High School • Creating Transgender Inclusive Schools at The Harley School • Creating LGBTQ Inclusive Schools at Monroe #2 BOCES • Working with LGBTQ Clients with Addictions at DePaul’s National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence • Shoulders To Stand On Film and Discussion at Seymour Library • Creating LGBTQ Inclusive Schools at Gates Chili Middle School • Creating LGBTQ Inclusive Schools at School of the Arts • School Nurse’s Training for RCSD School Nurses • SpeakOUT Training at The LGBTQ Academy • Intimate Partner Violence Within the LGBTQ Communities at the Domestic Violence Conference at MCC • Ally Workshop at Harris Corporation • LGBTQ 101 for Fairport High School Health Class • Understanding Trans Identities at Stepping Stones Learning Center • Understanding Trans Identities at United Memorial Medical Center Feedback from our April presentations: “Absolutely nothing could improve this training! You two created such a comfortable space for all of us. I felt I could say anything and wouldn’t be shut down.”

“Much better than I thought it would be. I brought papers to correct (sorry) and never took them out.”

“Enlightening, positive and fun. The trainers were so patient with us. Everyone was able to share and engage. This was an amazing experience. I feel energized and ready to talk to the world!!”

SAGE JUNE The SAGE Planning Retreat took place on May 14. Photo: Bess Watts

LGBTQ Health Quest Session II: Mondays to June 27, 5:30pm-7:30pm. All are welcome to this free health & wellness program encouraging better eating habits and increased physical activity. You must pre-register at annet@gayalliance.org or (585) 244-8640 x23 Thursday June 2 10:30am-11:30am Yoga with Tom in LGBTQ Resource Center, 5:30pm: SAGE Leadership Council meets.

Friday June 3 7:00pm – 9:00pm, SAGE Coffee Hour: Pick up a Cup! Gilda’s Club Comedy Show starts at 8:00pm. Equal Grounds Coffee House, 750 South Ave, 14620 Hosted by: Roza Saturday June 4 12:00noon – 4:00pm, Pride Float Building, home of Anne & Bess – call (585) 426-0862 or email annet@gayalliance.org for directions. Bring a dish to pass & stay for dinner.

Sunday June 5 2:00pm – 5:00pm Euchre Sunday Social at the LGBTQ Center. All are welcome – learn to play! $3. donation. Donations of snacks are appreciated!

Monday June 6 1:00pm – Monday Movie Meet Up at the Dryden. Free to seniors. Film begins at 1:30pm. Arrive by 1:00pm to sit together. Contact Roger & Dave by email: rcfdjm@gmail. com Schedule: https://eastman.org/film-series/senior-matinees Tuesday June 7 10:30-11:30 Yoga with Tom; 11:30am-2:00pm, “Cake Day”: Celebrate June birthdays with catered lunch and cake, $3.00 donation, Make cards for veterans or play euchre/games. Hosted by Jessie.

Thursday June 9 No Yoga. 10:00am-noon, Breakfast Club at Denny’s (911 Jefferson Rd, Henrietta). RSVP to Audet at (585) 287-2958 no later than June 6.

Monday June 13 1:00pm – Monday Movie Meet Up at the Dryden. Free to seniors. Film begins at 1:30pm. Arrive by 1:00pm to sit together. Contact Roger & Dave by email: rcfdjm@ gmail.com. Schedule: https://eastman.org/film-series/senior-matinees Tuesday June 14 10:30am-11:30am Yoga with Tom; 11:30pm – 2:00pm: Catered lunch, 12:30pm Alzheimer Association presentation. $3.00 donation. LGBTQ Resource Center Wednesday June 15 5:00pm – 7:00pm, SAGE Happy Hour & Trivia at Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave.14607. Drink specials, pizza. All are welcome.

Thursday June 16 10:30am-11:30am Yoga with Tom, LGBTQ Resource Center.

Saturday June 18 5:00pm – 8:00pm Saturday Night Bingo Bash - a community potluck and Bingo for token prizes, All are welcome. $3.00 donation. All potluck dishes welcome especially salads and vegetables! LGBTQ Resource Center.

Monday June 20 1:00pm – Monday Movie Meet Up at the Dryden. Free to seniors. Film begins at 1:30pm. Arrive by 1:00pm to sit together. Contact Roger & Dave by email: rcfdjm@ gmail.com Schedule: https://eastman.org/film-series/senior-matinees Tuesday June 21 10:30am-11:30am Yoga with Tom; 11:30pm – 2:00pm: Catered lunch, Travelogue: Caribbean Islands $3.00 donation. LGBTQ Resource Center Thursday June 23 10:30am-11:30am Yoga with Tom, LGBTQ Resource Center.

Friday June 24 5:30-7pm - Fabulous Fish Fry, Towpath Café, 6 N Main Street Fairport 14450.

Please RSVP to Audet by June 16th at (585) 287-2958.

Sunday June 26 8am-2pm – SAGE Garage Sale at the Public Market, 280 N. Union St, 14609. Drop boxed donations at Gay Alliance until 6/24 or call 244-8640 x23, annet@ gayalliance.org for other arrangements.

Monday June 27 1:00pm – Monday Movie Meet Up at the Dryden. Free to seniors. Film begins at 1:30pm. Arrive by 1:00pm to sit together. Contact Roger & Dave by email: rcfdjm@ gmail.com Schedule: https://eastman.org/film-series/senior-matinees Tuesday June 28 10:30am-11:30am Yoga with Tom; 11:30pm – 2:00pm: Catered lunch, Scrap booking & games. Bring your own pictures or do SAGE photos. $3.00 donation.

LGBTQ Resource Center SAGE Rochester is a program of the Gay Alliance designed for LGBTQI people over 50.

SAGE operates out of the Gay Alliance LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Avenue 14607.

All programs are open to the public and all are welcome. Yoga is $5.00 per person and is offered every Tuesday and Thursday unless specified in calendar. All programs are subject to change and all members are responsible for their own transportation and meals. Become a SAGE member or get information at sage@gayalliance.org or 585-244-8640 x23. We are also on Facebook as “SAGE Rochester a program of the Gay Alliance”. ■

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Resources Check our monthly and ongoing calendar and community section for more groups and events. For further information, call the Gay Alliance, 2448640 or visit: www.gayalliance.org.

More SAGE and Gay Alliance Youth Group info: pages 30-31.

BISEXUALITY RESOURCES AMBI Los Angeles; American Institute of Bisexuality (Journal of Bisexuality); Bay Area Bisexual Network; ; BiNet USA; Bisexual Organizing Project (BOP); Biversity Boston; Boston Bisexual Women’s Network; ComBIne - Columbus, Ohio; Fenway Health’s Bi Health Program; Los Angeles Bi Task Force; New York Area Bisexual Network; Robyn Ochs’s site; The Bi Writers Association; The Bisexual Resource Center (email brc@biresource.net)

CULTURAL Rochester Women’s Community Chorus 234-4441. (See Ongoing calendar).

Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus www.thergmc.org Open Arms Community Center Available for parties, events, meetings. 707 E. Main St. Parking. Accepting and welcoming of all.

271-8478.

DEAF SERVICES Deaf Rainbow Network of Rochester See Facebook.

Spectrum LGBTIQ & Straight Alliance RIT/NTID student group. <SpectrumComment@ groups.facebook.com

ELDERS Gay Alliance SAGE Rochester Many monthly get togethers, LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave. 244-8640; SAGE@gayalliance.org. See page 31.

FAMILY Open Arms Community Center Open Arms Community Center available for parties, events and meetings; 707 East Main St. Plenty of parking. We are inclusive, actively accepting, welcoming of all people. 271-8478 openarmsmcc.org CNY Fertility Center Integrative Fertility Care. Support meetings, webinars, workshops. Information: cbriel@cnyfertility. com; www.cnyhealingarts.com Rochester Gay Moms’ Group Support group for lesbian mommies and wannabe mommies in Rochester and surrounding areas.

Subscribe: RochesterGayMoms-subscribe@ yahoogroups.com.

Catholic Charities Community Services 1099 Jay Street, Building J (585) 339-9800, www.ccsrochester.org . Offers: Families in Transition services for HIV positive parents with small children, short term/long term housing assistance, employment services, supportive case management, health education and behavioral health education and peer navigation for substance abuse linkages.

Lesbian & Gay Family Building Project Headquartered in Binghamton and with a presence throughout Upstate NY, the Project is dedicated to helping LGBTQ people achieve their goals of building and sustaining healthy families.

Claudia Stallman, Project Director, 124 Front St., Binghamton, NY 13905; 607-724-4308; e-mail: LesGayFamBldg@aol.com. Web: www.PrideAndJoyFamilies.org.

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) PFLAG’s threefold mission: supporting parents and family members in coming out process; educating the community; advocating on behalf of LGBT family members. rochesterepflag@gmail. com; 585-993-3297.

Adoptive Parent Support Group Monthly potluck lunches. For information, location, call Shari, 350-2529.

Angel Food Ministry Box of fresh/frozen food for $30 in advance.

Menu changes monthly. For information and distribution sites, call 585 861-4815.

HIV/AIDS Free testing for HIV exposure is available from New York State Department of Health: call Rochester Area Regional Hotline at (585) 423-8081, or 1 800 962-5063. Deaf or hearing impaired people should call (585) 4238021 (TDD.) Available from NY Dept. of Health: HIV and STD resource testing site. Rapid testing in only 10 minutes. STD testing provided by Bullshead Clinic, 855 W. Main St., Rochester. Contact: Narissa @ Rochester hotline.

Volunteer Legal Services Project (585) 232-3051; www.vlsprochester.org. 1 West Main St., Suite 500 Rochester, NY 14614. Free legal services for low-income HIV positive clients.

No criminal cases. Appointments are scheduled at area medical provider locations or by calling 295-5708.

Trillium Health Trillium Health is the leading provider of HIV/ AIDS services in Rochester and the Finger Lakes.

On-site services include HIV testing and limited STD screenings, Primary and HIV Specialty Medical Care, Pharmacy, and many more. Satellite offices in Geneva and Bath. Trillium Health is also a leader in providing services and education to members of the LGBT community. Contact Information: Website: www.trilliumhealthny.org. Main Office: 259 Monroe Ave., Rochester, NY 14607; Main Phone: 585-545-7200, Health Services After Hours: 585-258-3363; Case Management After Hours (Lifeline): 585-275-5151; Fax: 585244-6456. Finger Lakes Office: 605 W. Washington St., Geneva, NY 14456, 315-781-6303.

Southern Tier Office: Buell St. Box 624, Bath, NY 14810 607-776-9166. The Health Outreach Project: 416 Central Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; 585454-5556.

Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley Referrals to physicians and service agencies.

(585) 244-8640; www.gayalliance.org.

Victory Alliance University of Rochester Medical Center. One of several research sites worldwide that comprise the HIV Vaccine Trials Network. Rochester site conducts research vaccine studies sponsored

by National Institutes of Health (NIH). 585-7562329; www.vaccineunit.org.

Threshold At The Community Place, 145 Parsells Ave., third floor, 585-454-7530. Provides confidential HIV, STD testing and General Health Care, ages 12-25.

Sliding fee scale, no one denied, most insurances accepted. Mon., Wed., Fri. 9am-5pm; Tues., Thurs., 9am-7pm; Sat. 10am-2pm. www.ThresholdCenter.org Center for Health and Behavioral Training of Monroe County 853 W. Main St., Rochester 14611. Collaboration of Monroe County Health Department and U.R. Provides year-round training in prevention and management of STDs, HIV, TB and related issues, such as domestic violence and case management. (585)753-5382 v/tty.

Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Tollfree Helpline: 1 866 600-6886. Offers confidential HIV testing and information. When you make your appointment, be sure to ask about our sliding scale fees. No one is turned away for lack of ability to pay.

Rochester Area Task Force on AIDS A collection of agencies providing a multiplicity of resources and services to the upstate New York community. Their offices are located through the Finger Lakes Health Systems Agency, which also provides medical literature and newspaper clippings, as well as demographic and statistical data for use in developing health care services. (585) 461-3520.

The MOCHA Center of Rochester Our mission is to improve health and wellness in communities of color. Youth drop-in center, HIV testing, peer education, support groups, computer lab, referral services and more. 189 N. Water St., lower level. (585) 420-1400.

Monroe County Health Department at 855 W. Main St., offers testing and counseling for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases.

(585) 753-5481. Hours: M-W 8:30-5:30; R: 8:30-11 am; F 7:30-2:30.

Strong Memorial Hospital provides a complete range of HIV medical care, including access to experimental treatment protocols, and HIV testing. Also provides individual and group psychotherapy. Training of health care professionals also available. Infectious Disease Clinic, (585) 275-0526. Department of Psychiatry, (585) 275-3379. AIDS Training Project, (585) 275-5693.

Planned Parenthood of Rochester and Genesee Valley Offers testing and information (585) 546 2595.

Rural HIV testing Anonymous and confidential, in Allegany, Livingston, Ontario, Schuyler, Seneca, Steuben, Wayne or Yates Counties, call 1 800 962-5063.

Action Front Center (Action for a Better Community.) Provides HIV, STD, viral hepatitis prevention counseling, risk reduction counseling. Tailored programs available to incarcerated, ex-offender individuals. Services for people living with HIV; case management, peer support groups, United Colors support group for MSM of color, educational groups, peer educator training and leadership development, multi-

cultural, bilingual staff. 33 Chestnut St., 2nd floor, Rochester 14604. Office hours M-F 8:30 am-5 pm. 585-262-4330.

Anthony Jordan Health Center Jordan Health’s Prevention & Primary Care Department provides personalized care designed to address and treat the needs of people living with HIV/AIDS and hepatitis C; and services focusing on the prevention of those diseases.

Bilingual staff serves both English and Spanishspeaking patients. HIV and hepatitis C virus (HVC) rapid testing as well as HIV and HCV education and counseling. Walk-in testing at all Jordan Health Sites. Prevention & Primary Care Department hours are Mon – Fri 830a – 500p.

HIV Clinic hours are Tuesday and Friday 830a – 400p. HCV Clinic hours are Wednesday and Friday 100p – 500p. The Prevention & Primary Care Department has two sites: Anthony L. Jordan Health Center 82 Holland Street, Rochester 14605 585.423.2879, fax 585.423.2876 and Woodward Health Center, 480 Genesee Street, Rochester 14611, fax 585.295.6009 Jordan Health’s Prevention and Primary Care Department is now providing PrEP services. For more information please call 585.436.PREP (7737). We are accepting new PrEP patients at the following sites: Anthony L. Jordan Health Center, Woodward Health Center and Jordan Health at Community Place, 145 Parsells Ave. 585.436.3040 x1764 - 585.454.7530 CDC National STD and AIDS Hotline 1-800-CDC-INFO (800-232-4636) 24 hours a day. TTY service: 1-888-232-6348. E-mail address: cdcinfo@cdc.gov.

Fair Housing Enforcement Project of Monroe County 585-325-2500; 1-800-669-9777. Deals with housing discrimination on basis of race, orientation, HIV status, etc.

Public Interest Law Office of Rochester 1 W. Main St., Suites 200 & 300. Free legal services to HIV positive persons, families. Spanish bilingual advocates available. All civil cases except divorce; no criminal cases. Ask to speak to someone in PILOR. 454-4060.

Westside Health Services Brown Square Health Center, 175 Lyell Ave. (2546480); Woodward Health Center, 480 Genesee St. (436-3040). HIV/AIDS services, support, more.

McCree McCuller Wellness Center at Unity Health’s Connection Clinic (585) 368-3506, 89 Genesee St., Bishop Kearney Bldg., 3rd floor. Full range of services, regardless of ability to pay. Caring, confidential and convenient.

Geneva Community Health 601 W. Washington St., Geneva. Provides HIV testing, HIV specialty and primary care for residents of Ontario and surrounding counties. M, W, R, F 8am-8pm. 315-781-8448.

LGBT HEALTH Huther Doyle Healthcare, chemical dependency treatment.

585-325-5100; www.hutherdoyle.com Trillium Health See www.trilliumhealthny.org, www.everybodysgood.com LGBT Healthy Living: Veterans Canandaigua VA, second and fourth Tuesdays, 10-11am, Building One, 2nd floor, room 245. Matt Cokely 585-393-7115.

HCR Home Care We provide a full multidisciplinary team consisting of nursing, social work, physical, occupational, and speech therapies as well as home health aides who have completed the eight-hour cultural competency program provided by the Gay Alliance. For more information, contact us at 585272-1930 or visit us online at HCRhealth.com.

Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley See www.gayalliance.org Resource Directory under “Health” for Gay Alliance referrals to physicians and service agencies.

CNY Youth Group Bi-Polar Support.

Second Monday of every month. 315-428-9366.

Q UNDER 40 Q<40 Special Events for LGBTQ people and friends over 20 and under 40. Info at GayAlliance.org

TRANSGENDER Trans Alliance of Greater Rochester (TAGR) Support/educational group for gender variant people and allies. Last Saturday, 3-5:30pm, Open Arms MCC, 707 E. Main St. Adult Families of Trans Youth (AFTY) First Tuesdays, 5:30-6:30pm, Open Arms MCC, 707 E. Main St. Trans Lifeline Hotline for transgender people experiencing crisis. Staffed by transgender people for transgender people. Trans Lifeline volunteers are ready to respond to whatever support needs callers might have. The Trans Lifeline number is (877) 5658860. Additional info is available at www.translifeline.org.

Empire Justice Center Milo Primeaux, Esq., Hanna S. Cohn Equal Justice Fellow, Empire Justice Center, LGBT Rights Project, Telesca Center for Justice, 1 West Main Street, Suite 200, Rochester, NY 14614. (585) 295-5721 Fax (585) 454-2518, mprimeaux@ empirejustice.org, www.empirejustice.org.

Volunteer Legal Services Project (585) 232-3051; www.vlsprochester.org.1 West Main St. Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14614. Free legal services for low-income clients seeking a name change. Other legal services for lowincome clients include family law issues, bankruptcy, unemployment insurance hearings, wills and advance directive documents for clients with serious illnesses.

Gay Alliance Youth Gender Identity Support Group First Tuesdays 5:30-6:30 100 College Ave. Ages 13-18. 244-8640 Genesee Valley Gender Variants Thurs. 7-9pm, Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. GVGenderVariants@yahoogroups.com Guys’ Night Out Trans* group, 1pm second Saturdays at Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. Transmen and those identifying with trans-masculine experience (including questioning individuals) welcome. Conversations range from topics regarding family life, personal experiences with regard to medically/ socially transitioning and how life is going in general. Contact Adrian at abartholomeo@gmail.com.

WOMEN L.O.R.A Late Bloomers Group E-mail info@loragroup.org Website: www.loragroup.org; L.O.R.A (Lesbians of Rochester & Highland Hospital Breast Imaging Center 500 Red Creek Drive, Rochester 14623; 585487-3341. Specializing in breast health, diagnostic breast imaging and treatment and mammography outreach and education.

Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester 1048 University Ave., Rochester NY 14607 585-473-8177; www.bccr.org; info@bccr.org Programs and services for those diagnosed with breast or GYN cancer. Programs include support and networking groups, Healing Arts classes, book club, writing workshop, monthly evening seminars and a group for those living with metastatic breast cancer. Comprehensive lending library at our office. Community speakers available! All programs and services FREE. Center for Community Health (585) 224-3050. Comprehensive breast cancer screening services for uninsured and underinsured women.

Elizabeth Wende Breast Clinic 170 Sawgrass Drive. 442-8432. Mammograms.

Self Help for Women with Breast or Ovarian Cancer (SHARE) Breast: 866-891-2392; Ovarian: 866-537-4273.

Willow Domestic Violence Center 232-7353; TTY 232-1741. Shelter (women only), counseling. Lesbians, gay men welcome.

Victim Resource Center of Wayne County Newark N.Y. Hotline 800-456-1172; office (315)331-1171; fax (315)331-1189.

Mary Magdalene House Women’s outreach center for HIV positive women and women at risk. 291 Lyell Ave. Open Mon-Fri. 6:30-9:30pm.

Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/ Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Toll-free Helpline: 1-866-600-6886. Planned Parenthood has led the way in providing high quality, affordable reproductive health care since 1916. All services are confidential. Accept most insurances; including Medicaid. You may qualify for low- to no-cost family planning services. When you make your appointment, ask about our sliding scale fees. No one turned away for lack of ability to pay.

Women’s Shelter YWCA, 175 N. Clinton Ave. 546-5820.

YOUTH Gay Alliance Youth Group Monthly Special Events 100 College Ave. 2448640; Ages 13-20. www.gayalliance.org. Check Facebook.com/GayAllianceYouth Gay Alliance Youth Gender Identity Social/Support Group First Tuesdays 5:30-6:30 LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave., Ages 13-18. 244-8640 Trevor Project The Trevor Project offers 24/7 Lifeline with trained counselors, 1-866-488-7386; Trevor Chat, instant messaging; TrevorSpace online where youth can talk to each other, and Trevor Text, now in development, with text trained counselors for support and crisis intervention.

CNY Youth Group Bi-Polar Support.

Second Monday of every month.

315-428-9366. ■

JUNE 2016 • NUMBER 501 • THE GAY ALLIANCE • THE EMPTY CLOSET

Ongoing Calendar DAILY Free confidential walk-in HIV testing M/W 9am-5pm, T/Th 9am-7pm, F 9am-12:30pm Trillium Health 259 Monroe Ave. 585-545-7200 Gay Alliance Library & Archives 9am -5pm. Wed. 6-8pm 100 College Ave. Walk-in HIV testing At all Anthony Jordan health center sites including 82 Holland St. (See Resources)

MONDAYS Women’s Coffee Social Equal Grounds Coffee House 750 South Ave. Monday evenings. 7 pm. Contact: Regina Altizer: reginaaltizer@gmail.com Crystal Meth Anonymous Meeting Every Monday 12-1pm. Huther Doyle, 360 East Ave., Rochester. Starting Monday Oct. 5.

Rochester Historical Bowling Society 7pm. Empire Lanes Born That Way Formerly 3rd Presbyterian LGBT Support Group.

First, 3rd Mondays, 7:30-9:30pm, 34 Meigs St. Carol, 482-3832 or Kaara, 654-7516.

Frontrunners/Frontwalkers Mondays, 6pm, George Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org.

Steps Beyond Stems Crack Support Group, Mondays, 7-8pm, 289 Monroe Ave.

TUESDAYS The Social Grind 10am-12noon and again 7:30-9pm at Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. Email: DHutch457@aol. com for information Adult Families of Trans Youth (AFTY) First Tuesdays, 5:30-6:30, Open Arms MCC Community Center, 707 E. Main St. LGBT Healthy Living Veterans support. 2nd, 4th Tuesdays, 10-11am Canandaigua VA, bldg. 9, room 8, Library conference room. 585 463-2731, 585 205-3360.

Testing Tuesdays at Trillium Health FREE HIV Testing for everyone, STI/STD testing FREE for women and MSM. Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave, 5-8 pm. 585-545-7200 Women’s Community Chorus Rehearsals each Tuesday, 6:30-9pm, Downtown United Pres. Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh Street. 2344441, www.therwcc.org Gay Alliance Youth Gender Identity Support Group 5:30-6:30pm, LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave. Ages 13-20. 244-8640.

SAGE Rochester 50+ Tuesdays and Thursdays, usually 10:30am at venues including LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave. 244-8640. (See page 31)

WEDNESDAYS Identity Group The Identity Group is for LGBT identified individuals who have a developmental disability diagnosis. The group meets Wednesdays 3-4 pm at ARC Health Services (2060 Brighton-Henrietta Townline Rd. 14623). The goal of the group is to provide a safe space to discuss identity issues, share personal experiences and increase selfesteem. The group is facilitated by Delaina Fico.

LMSW. For more information, please contact Delaina Fico at dfico@arcmonroe.org or 585271-0661 ext. 1552.

LORA Knitting Group 6:00pm, Equal Grounds Coffee House, 750 South Ave. L.O.R.A. Knitting group meets the 1st & 3rd Wednesdays of the month from Equal Grounds Coffee House. Join Us! Bring your supplies and a sense of adventure! For more info visit www.loragroup.org or Contact Kerry Cater: dressyfemme@ aol.com or email us at info@loragroup.org Lifetime Care LGBT Bereavement Support Group For loss associated with any type of relationship.

Meets 1st and 3rd Wednesdays of every month from 5:30-7pm at Center for Compassion and Healing (3111 Winton Rd S). No fee. Please call 475-8800 for more details.

Gay Alliance Board of Directors Meets Third Wednesdays, 6pm, 100 College Ave., 244-8640

New Freedom New Happiness AA Gay meeting, 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd. Men and women. Open.

COAP Come Out and Play Wednesday game nights. 7-10pm.

Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. coap.rochester@ gmail.com Rochester Rams General Meeting 2nd Wednesdays, 7:30pm, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. www.rochesterrams.com Positive Warriors Wednesdays, 11:30am-12:30pm. Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave. Positive Divas Wednesdays, 11:30am-12:30pm. Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 6pm, Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org.

Gay Alliance Library & Archives 100 College Ave. 6-8pm.

Empire Bears Every Wednesday. 6pm dinner at various venues. www.empirebears.com

THURSDAYS Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns 6:30pm, first Thursday. Ralph, 271-7649 Pride at Work & AFL CIO First Thursdays, 5:30pm. 1354 Buffalo Road, Rochester 14624, 426-0862.

GLOB&L (Gays & Lesbians of Bausch & Lomb) Meets every third Thursday in Area 67 conference room at the Optic Center. Voice mail: 338-8977 Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus Downtown United Presbyterian Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh St. 6:30-9pm, 423-0650 NLIST Transgenger Support Group 5-6:15pm, Trillium Health. Must pre-register.

LORA Late Bloomers Group 4th/Last Thursday of the month. Coming out group for lesbian, bisexual, and transgender women of all ages and backgrounds! Last Thursday of each month in a safe private location. For more info visit: www.loragroup.org or contact Jessica Cohen at LGBTHealth@trilliumhealth.org or email us at info@loragroup.org Out & Equal Second Thursdays Social/business networking, 5:30-7:30pm.

Changing venues. E-mail: fingerlakes@outandequal.org Genesee Valley Gender Variants 7-9pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. GV GenderVariants@yahoogroups.com SAGE Rochester 50+ Tuesdays and Thursdays, usually 10:30am at venues including LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave, 244-8640. (See page 31)

FRIDAYS Gay Men’s AA meeting Fridays, 7:30-8:30pm, Closed meeting. Emmanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave.

Gay Alliance Youth Monthly Special Event, LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave., 244-8640; Ages 13-20. youth@gayalliance.org. Check Facebook.com/ GayAllianceYouth GLBTQI Motorcycle Group Second Fridays, 5:30pm, Various locations.

RochesterGLBTIQbikers@yahoo.com; 467-6456; bmdaniels@frontiernet.net.

Boyz Night Out Drag king revue. First Fridays, The Firehouse Saloon, 814 S. Clinton Ave. LORA GaYmes Night Meets 4th Friday of the Month, 7-10pm, Equal Grounds Coffee House, 750 South Ave. Rochester. Contact Person: Christine O’Reilly. Email: irishfemmerochester@yahoo.com. Phone: 585.943.1320. More Info: www.loragroup.org.

Events: https://www.facebook.com/groups/ L.O.R.A.14464/ Monthly LBTQ Womyns Bingo Night Third Fridays, 7 pm, at Empire Bingo. Contact: Christine, IrishFemmeRochester@yahoo.com; 585-943-1320 text/talk.

SATURDAYS Rochester Rams Bar Night Third Saturdays, 8pm-2am, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. 271-6930 Sapphic Singles – Professional Women’s Group http://www.meetup.com/Sapphic-Singles-Rochester/. Contact: Patty: Email: pattyrdn11@gmail. com. Phone: 585.223.6743. 3rd Saturday of each month. Monthly Dinner Socials for single professional women at various locations in and around Rochester NY area! Join us!

Trans Alliance of Greater Rochester Support/educational group for gender-variant people, allies. Last Saturdays, 3-5:30pm, Open Arms MCC, 707 E. Main St. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 9am, George Eastman House parking lot.www. rochesterfrontrunners.org.

Guys Night Out GNO, social group for transmen, now meets on the second Saturday of the month, @ 1pm @ Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. Saturday Night Special Gay AA 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd., S. Men and women. Open meeting.

Sophia’s Supper Club First, third Saturdays, 25 Bernie Lane, 6:30 pm.

Men’s Cooking Group Third, fourth Saturdays. 585-355-7664; mcgofrochester@aol.com.

SUNDAYS PFLAG (Parents Families & Friends of Lesbians And Gays) 585 993-3297; rochesterpflag@gmail.com.

Dignity-Integrity 1st Sunday: 5pm Episcopal Eucharist with music; 2nd Sunday: 5pm Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word with music; 3rd Sunday: 5pm Episcopal Eucharist (quiet); 4th Sunday: 5pm Prayers to start the week, followed by potluck supper.

Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church 707 E. Main St. Rochester, Services at: 10:30am.

271-8478.

Gay Men’s Alcoholics Anonymous St. Luke’s/St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. 8pm, 232-6720, Weekly.

Closed meeting ■

33

ROCHESTER AA/NA MEETINGS

Every week there are three regularly scheduled GLBTI AA and two inclusive NA meetings in Rochester.

TUESDAYS Narcotics Anonymous 6-7:30pm. AIDS and Recovery 1124 Culver Road (Covenant United Methodist Church) This is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who have a desire to stop using. Although it is not specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities, as well as to anyone who is affected by HIV and AIDS.

FRIDAYS LGBT 7:30pm. Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. • Open meeting • Handicapped accessible This is a round-robin discussion meeting. If you are shy about meeting people or speaking up in a group, you will find this meeting particularly warm and inviting because everyone gets their turn to speak (or pass). As a result, this meeting often runs long, so plan on more than the usual hour.

SATURDAYS Saturday Night Special 7pm. First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: The #18 University Ave. bus does not go by the church on weekend evenings. Take the #1 Park Ave. bus to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton.

• Open meeting, all are welcome, “straight friendly” • Mixed men and women • Handicapped accessible, take elevator to basement Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

SUNDAYS Step in the Right Direction 7:30-9pm. 1275 Spencerport Road (Trinity Alliance Church) This is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who have a desire to stop using.

Although it is not specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities. Each week features a reading from NA literature, followed by discussion.

Rochester Gay Men 8pm. St. Luke/St. Simon’s Episcopal Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh Street. Bus riders use the Fitzhugh Street stop on Main Street at the County Office Building and walk south one block.

• Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • NOT handicapped accessible Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion. ■

GAY ALLIANCE LIBRARY & ARCHIVES Now open at its new location at 100 College Avenue, 9am-5pm and on Wednesday evenings, 6-8pm.

Check out our ten thousand-volume library, along with the Bohnett Cyber Center.

Contact us: library@gayalliance.org or at 585-244-8640.

34

THE EMPTY CLOSET • THE GAY ALLIANCE • NUMBER 501 • JUNE 2016

June 2016 WEDNESDAY 1

Canada’s first Pride Month. Culminates June 24-July 3.

Inqueery class. Safer Email. How to deal with phishing scams. 6:30-8 pm, Gay Alliance LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave. Register at http://www. gayalliance.org/programs/inqueery/

THURSDAY 2

A Fist Full Of Stories. Open mic for entire community; a public event with media. Hosted by trans/intersex/ gender expansive communities. 7-8:30 pm, LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave.

FRIDAY 3

Buffalo Dyke march.

First Friday opening reception for Manuel Pena’s “Roadside Attraction” photos at Gallery Q, 100 College Ave. 6-9 pm. Through June 26.

SATURDAY 4

Big Queer Prom. “MasQUEERade Ball.” LGBTQ youth and allies, 13-20.

7-11 pm. Free admission, Gay Alliance LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave. Butch Femme Connection Supper Club. Hibachi Sushi Buffet in Southtown Plaza, at 7 pm, in Henrietta. Kerry at DressyFemme@aol.com.

SUNDAY 5

Buffalo Pride Parade. Festival at Canalside. Info at buffalopridefestival. com Dignity Integrity. Episcopal Mass/ Healing Service, with music. 5 pm at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Hotline at 585-234-5092 or website at www.di-rochester.org/

MONDAY 6

SAGE Movie Meet up at the Dryden.

1:30 pm. “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”.

Dryden Theatre, 900 East Ave. Free to seniors.

Health Quest continues at 100 College Ave. All welcome to free health & wellness program. You must pre-register at annet@gayalliance.org or (585) 2448640 x23.

THURSDAY 9

A Fist Full of Stories. Open mic for entire community. 7-8:30 pm, LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave. Out & Equal Second Thursdays Networking. 5:30 pm: Susan B. Anthony Museum and House. Cash bar. Co-hosted by Victory Alliance and Madeline’s Catering. $5 cover to be shared with The House. 17 Madison St.; on-street parking.

SATURDAY 11

Finger Lakes Pride Festival. Through June 12. Seneca Street Parking Lot in Geneva. Movie Friday night; drag show and picnic Sunday at Seneca Lake Park.

Trillium White Ball. Rochester Academy of Medicine, 1441 East Ave. Tickets $100; VIP ticket, $150, includes 6 pm champagne reception. Cocktails, light fare, dancing, silent auction Benefits Patient Care Fund.

SUNDAY 12

Out at Seneca Park Zoo. Free admission to LGBTQ special event at Seneca Park Zoo. 5-7 pm. Sign up to register: Tickets available at outatthezoo.eventbrite.com until June 9.

Empire Bears picnic at Mt. Morris.

Meet at dam site south of town on Rte. 408, 2 pm. Bring dish to pass.

Classifieds Classified ads are $5 for the first 30 words; each additional 10 words is another $1. We do not bill for classifieds, so please send or bring ad and payment to: The Empty Closet, 100 College Ave., Rochester, New York 14607.

Paying by check: checks must be made out to Gay Alliance. The deadline is the 15th of the month, for the following month’s issue. We cannot accept ads over the phone. Pay when you place your ad. We will accept only ads accompanied by name and phone number. Neither will be published, but we must be able to confirm placement.

The Empty Closet is not responsible for financial loss or physical injury that may result from any contact with an advertiser. Advertisers must use their own box number, voice mail, e-mail or phone number. No personal home addresses or names allowed. Classified ads are not published on The Empty Closet page of our website. However, each issue of the paper is reproduced online in its entirety.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Host an AFS exchange student!

Choose from 90 countries. A chance to learn more about a new culture and share yours. To see students coming to your area, contact Jemma at jpowell@afsusa.org or 585-410-2017.

Children’s Ministry thriving at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church for toddlers to ‘tweens. Join us for vibrant, inclusive, progressive worship on Sundays at 10:30 am, 707 E. Main St. info@ openarmsmcc.org; (585) 271-8478.

HELP WANTED

Sell ads for The Empty Closet. Must be energetic and reliable. 30 percent commission. 244-9030.

SERVICES

Lakefront Wedding? Lakefront site available in a beautiful area of Lake Ontario. Five-bedroom house available to rent, large grounds. Non-denominational officiate available. Reasonable. Contact rtony13@aol.com or cell, 703-3894.

Rochester’s Best Man to Man Rubdown. Unwind with this degreed,

employed, fit, friendly, healthy, Italian GWM. Middle aged, 5’8”, 165 lbs., 32” waist, nonsmoker, d & d free, HIV negative. My 10-plus years experience guarantees your relaxation and satisfaction.

Hotel visit, in call in my home or out call in your residence. Reasonable rates. Discretion appreciated and practiced. Don’t delay, call me today at 585-773-2410 (cell) or 585-235-6688 (home).

Handyman: Simple repairs or full renovations, no job is too large or small. Carpentry, Plumbing, Electrical, Interior & Exterior. 35 years experience. Call Alan & Bill 585-204-0632 or cell 304-517-6832.

Martin Ippolito master electrician.

Electrical work, telephone jacks, cable TV, burglar alarm systems, paddle fans. 585266-6337.

TL’s Home Repair Service. Electric, plumbing, home remodeling. Cell: 585224-6279; office: 585-473-7205.

Wedding Space and clergy services available. Celebrate your special day at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church, 707 E. Main St. info@ openarmsmcc.org (585) 271-8478. ■

Dignity Integrity. Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, with music. 5 pm at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Hotline at 585-234-5092 or website at www.di-rochester.org/

MONDAY 13

SAGE Movie Meet up at the Dryden.

“Romeo and Juliet”. 1:30 pm. Dryden Theatre, 900 East Ave. Free to seniors.

TUESDAY 14

Equality Rochester (EROC) organizing meeting. Trans equality and LGBTQ rights under attack. 6-8 pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. Juliaa@ gayalliance.org or 244-8640.

WEDNESDAY 15

Empty Closet deadline for July. 2449030; susanj@gayalliance.org

THURSDAY 16

A Fist Full of Stories. Open mic, 7-8:30 pm, LBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave.

SATURDAY 18

Ride for Pride. 50-mile ride to support Gay Alliance. Webpage at: http:// www.gayalliance.org/ride-for-pride click on a rider’s name to make tax deductible donation. See page 30.

SUNDAY 19

Dignity Integrity. Episcopal Mass, quiet. 5 pm at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Hotline at 585-234-5092 or website at www.di-rochester.org/

MONDAY 20

Summer solstice Inqueery class. Introduction to Geocaching. 6:30-8 pm, LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave. Register at http://www.gayalliance.org/programs/ inqueery/ SAGE Movie Meet up at The Dryden.

“A Double Life”. 1:30 pm. Dryden Theatre, 900 East Ave. Free to seniors.

WEDNESDAY 22

Gay Alliance annual meeting. 6-8 pm, LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave.

THURSDAY 23

A Fist Full of Stories. Open mic for allies and advocates of trans communities.

7-8:30 pm, LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave.

FRIDAY 24

Toronto Pride Parade and Festival, through July 3. Climax of Canada’s first Pride Month.

SUNDAY 26

NYC Pride Dignity Integrity. Prayers to start the week, coffee hour to follow (no potluck).

5 pm at St. Luke’s/St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Hotline at 585-234-5092 or www.di-rochester.org/ SAGE Garage Sale at Public Market, 280 N. Union St. 8 am-2 pm. Drop boxed donations at Gay Alliance until 6/24 or call 244-8640 x23, annet@gayalliance. org for other arrangements.

Inqueery class. Asian culinary. 6-7:30 pm. LGBTQ Resource Center. Register at http://www.gayalliance.org/programs/ inqueery/

MONDAY 27

SAGE Monday Meet up at the Dryden. “Too Late Blues”. 1:30 pm.

Dryden Theatre, 900 East Ave. Free to seniors.

THURSDAY 30

Flower City Flicks application deadline. See page 28.

Social mingle for trans communities, allies. Wine, hors d’oeuvres. 7-8:30 pm, LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave. ■

JUNE 2016 • NUMBER 501 • THE GAY ALLIANCE • THE EMPTY CLOSET

The Empty Closet is published by the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley 100 College Avenue Rochester, New York 14607 © 2016, All rights reserved.

Editor-in-Chief: Susan Jordan Graphic Design: Jim Anderson Ad Sales: Jennie Bowker (jennieb@gayalliance.org) Advertising policy: The Empty Closet does not print advertisements that contain nude drawings or photographs, nor does it print advertising that states that the person pictured in the ad is for sale, or that you will “get” that particular person if you patronize the establishment advertised. Advertisements that are explicitly racist, sexist, ageist, ableist or homophobic will be refused; advertisements from organizations that are sexist, racist, ageist, ableist or anti-gay will also be refused.

All political advertisements must contain information about who placed them and a method of contact. Additionally, The Empty Closet does not print negative or “attack” advertisements, whether they relate to a product or politics and no matter in whose interest the ad is being produced. A negative advertisement is defined as one that focuses upon a rival product, or in the political area, a rival election candidate or party, in order to point out supposed flaws and to persuade the public not to buy it (or vote for him or her). The Empty Closet maintains, within legal boundaries, neutrality regarding products, political candidates and parties. However, “attack” ads that fail to provide undisputable evidence that the information in the ad is true do not further in any way the objectives and policies of the Gay Alliance or The Empty Closet, including the primary tenet that The Empty Closet’s purpose is to inform the Rochester gay community and to provide an impartial forum for ideas.

Submissions: For publication, submit news items, ads, photos, letters, stories, poetry, ads, photographs or art by mail or in person to The Empty Closet office by the 15th of the month. Design services for non-camera ready ads are available for a fee.

244-9030, susanj@gayalliance.org Publication Information: The Empty Closet is published 11 times a year (December and January combined) by The Empty Closet Press for the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, Inc. Approximately 5000 copies of each issue are distributed during the first week of the month, some by mail in a plain sealed envelope. The publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles is not an indication of the sexual or affectional orientation of that person or the members of that organization. For further information, please write to The Empty Closet, 100 College Avenue, Rochester NY. 14605, call (585) 244-9030 or e-mail emptycloset@gagv.us.

The Empty Closet is the official publication of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, Inc., as stated in the bylaws of that organization. Its purpose is to inform the Rochester gay community about local and national gay-related news and events; to provide a forum for ideas and creative work from the local gay community; to help promote leadership within the community, and to be a part of a national network of lesbian and gay publications that exchange ideas and seek to educate.

Part of our purpose is to maintain a middle position with respect to the entire community. We must be careful to present all viewpoints in a way that takes into consideration the views of all – women, men, people of color, young and old, and those from various walks of life.

The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet. The Empty Closet shall not be liable for any loss or expense that results from the publication (whether correctly or incorrectly) or omission of an ad.

In the event of non-payment, your account may be assigned to a collection agency or an attorney, and will be liable for the charges paid by us to such collection agency or attorney.

Letters to the editor: The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet. We will print letters at the editor’s discretion and on a space available basis. Only one letter by the same writer in a six-month period is allowed. We will not print personal attacks on individuals, nor will we be a forum for ongoing disputes between individuals. We reserve the right to edit for space and clarity. We will print anonymous letters if the name and phone number are provided to the Editor; confidentiality will be respected. Submissions are due by the 15th of the month at: The Empty Closet, 100 College Avenue, Rochester, NY 14607; e-mail: susanj@gayalliance.org. The online edition of EC is available at www. gayalliance.org.

Bed & Breakfast

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THE EMPTY CLOSET • THE GAY ALLIANCE • NUMBER 501 • JUNE 2016