Empty Closet, Oct 2010 Sec B

The Empty Closet number 431

Section B

Arts, Entertainment & Community

a publication of the gay alliance of the genesee valley

february 2010

Detail from artwork by Alicia Ross.

Art show marks V-Day; March 13 is Vagina Monologues V-Day Rochester 2010 presents new work by Alicia Ross, opening at Rochester Contemporary Art Center, 137 East Ave., on Feb. 12.

The opening reception is 7-9 p.m. and will feature an auction.

Admission is $1. The show will run until March 21.

Ross’s work will benefit education about and prevention of violence against women and girls. V-Day 2010 is sponsored

by Rape Crisis and Planned Parenthood.

Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues will be performed on March 13 at Hochstein School of Music at 7 p.m. Tickets will be $20 general admission and $10 student/seniors and will go on sale by the first week of February at Equal=Grounds, Parkleigh, Aaron’s Alley, at select Planned Parenthood locations and online at www.pprsr.org.

The show will also be ASL interpreted.

Proceeds will benefit Rape Crisis Services in Monroe County and Women and Girls of the Democratic Republic of Congo.

See the March Empty Closet for full details. ■

Seated L-R: Jason Mincer, J. R. Teeter, Judy Molner, Jamal Abdunnasir, Ralph Meranto, Marcy Savastano, Michael O’Connor, Colista Turner, Beth Winslow, Marc D’Amico, Jonathan Ntheketha. (In front, silhouetted: David Henderson, director.) Photos: Laura McSpadden

Geva presents reading of “The Laramie Project: 10 Years Later”

By Laura McSpadden On Jan. 18, the Geva Theatre presented a reading of “The Laramie Project: 10 Years Later” as part of their Hornets’ Nest series. There wasn’t an empty seat in the house.

The Hornets’ Nest performances consist of a script-inhand reading of a play that confronts and examines an issue of contemporary significance, followed by a discussion among audience members regarding their responses to the ideas presented by the play.

The play was performed by members of Method Machine; Kevin Indovino narrated. The acting was engaging from beginning to end. Particularly noteworthy were the readings done

by Marc D’Amico, Judy Molner, Colista Turner and Beth Winslow, all of whom brought incredible authenticity and emo-

Marc D’Amico.

tion to their roles.

“The Laramie Project: 10 Years Later” is an epilogue to “The Laramie Project.” Both of these plays were written by Moisés Kaufman and the Tectonic Theatre Project, and both plays examine community responses to the 1998 murder of Matthew Shepard in Laramie, Wyoming: the scripts for the plays are largely derived from interviews with residents of Laramie and the (Geva continues page 2)

By Michael Steck www.michaelsteck.com You’ve seen her on stage thinking she’s Madonna. You’ve seen her wearing a four-foot Afro while doing something she calls “angry tap-dancing.” You’ve seen her running amuck with a lipstick wielding serial killer on the loose. Now, you will see her “racing” with 12 fabulous drag queens vying for the title of drag supremacy on Season 2 of RuPaul’s Drag Race.

If you haven’t figured it out already, I am talking about a seasoned veteran of drag performance here in Rochester: Pandora Boxx.

Recently, I was able to get a one-on-one interview with Pandora and discuss her many ventures, including her latest stint on reality television.

Michael Steck: Incessant Facebook posts, Twitter after twitter, e-mails, MySpace, blogs and so on. Some would say that you have reached the point of no return with your vanity. What’s next? Interviewing yourself?

Pandora Boxx: I like to call myself the Queen of Self-Promotion. It’s not really about vanity.

If you are an entertainer, you need to keep yourself in everyone’s consciousness, otherwise you can quickly be forgotten. So I’m going to keep on Twatting!

MS: I don’t think people could forget about you. Try as hard as they may. I mean that in the nicest way possible, of course. As if all of that wasn’t enough, now you seem to want to become a reality television star. What’s up with that?

PB: I don’t know if I ever sought to be a reality television star. RuPaul’s Drag Race is a groundbreaking hit show.

RuPaul changed the mainstream’s view on drag when he burst onto the scene in the mid ‘90s and is changing it again with this amazing show. I wanted to be a part of something that helps bring drag queens into the consciousness of the world. I thought if I got on this show it would be an amazing way to get my brand of drag and humor out to an international audience.

MS: Do you really think you are that funny? I’ve seen some of those YouTube skits and I think I’ve seen funnier work on “She’s the Sheriff” starring Suzanne Somers.

PB: Humor is subjective.

There are so many different brands of humor. What I think is funny someone else might not.

I think there are some things I do that are funny across the board and then there are those things that are really out there.

Not everyone will get it but who cares. You can’t please everyone.

MS: Which is certainly evident from your stage act. So, I see on RuPaulsDragRace.com that you are indeed listed as the oldest contestant in the race.

How does that make you feel?

Will you be able to work a walker into your act? I’d say it couldn’t hurt. Do you avoid well-lit rooms at all costs now?

PB: Karma is certainly a bitch sometimes. You poke

See Pandora Boxx on “RuPaul’s Drag Race” on Feb. 1.

fun at someone for being old and then when you are that age it comes back tenfold. Age is one of those things you cannot change about yourself. Why let it bother you?

Now, looking old is something you can change about yourself. That’s why I sleep in a Tupperware bed and drink as many forms of alcohol as I can, to help with preservation.

I think I may switch to formaldehyde.

MS: I hope they use a lot of that “Vaseline lens” on you for the show.

PB: As far as I know the “Vaseline lens” is gone! I’m sure they heard enough about it from last season. Also, RuPaul does not need it! He looks stunning! They definitely have revved things up for this season’s race. The set is about four times as big, the challenges are bigger and better. This whole season kicks it up a notch. Thank God for a big hit first season!

MS: RuPaul does the do as both his debonair male persona and his glamazon alter ego.

How do you feel you balance your yin and yang? Do you

Photo: Mathu Andersen

Michael vs.

Pandora: Round 1

often feel schizophrenic, like you are talking to yourself?

PB: I think it is great that RuPaul’s Drag Race shows both sides of drag performers. I think it adds to the whole experience of the show. It shows how much work goes into these amazing transformations. We are boys and we dress like girls, well, fabulously frocked girls. It’s all about the illusion. It’s definitely easy to lose yourself in your drag persona and I did at one time.

Now, there is a definite balance and that’s because I think my life is more balanced. It’s like RuPaul says, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else?”

MS: Speaking of love, were there any hookups on RuPaul’s Drag Race? A little kai kai, perhaps? (Kai Kai is a term that is used to talk about two drag queens having sexual relations.)

PB: Oh just because it’s a reality show means someone has to hook up? I see how you think. I’ll just say there are a lot of things that happen on Season 2 of RuPaul’s Drag Race. More drama, more tears, more laughs (Pandora continues page 2)

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 431 • February 2010

(Pandora from page 1) -- just more, more, more! You will have to tune in Monday nights starting on Feb. 1, 2010 at 9 p.m. on Logo to find out exactly how much more.

MS: Thank you for your teleprompter answer. Well, I need to go wash my hair in a bit so I only have a few more questions. Do you think you are Madonna?

PB: Madonna has been such a huge influence on my drag career and my life really. Part of the reason I chose Pandora was because Madonna and Pandora are similar names. They both have the same amount of letters. They both are religiously historical. Madonna says and does what she wants with such flair. I have tried to incorporate that into my life and performance.

I was always a shy little boy growing up. Drag helped me come out of my shell. Entertainers like Madonna, Cher, Tina Turner, Courtney Love, Dolly Parton, Cyndi Lauper have all shown me it’s OK to be yourself and to just be who you were born to be. I don’t want to be anyone else but me.

MS: Blah, blah, blah. Let’s move on to a more interesting topic. I, like everyone else, want to know more about the show and less about you. Been there, done that. So what scoop can you give us without having the Men in Black show up at your doorstep and give you a Blanket Party (that’s having a blanket tossed over your head and being beaten with socks full of quarters, in case you were wondering).

PB: It’s an incredible season! I feel honored to have been chosen out of thousands of applicants from all over the country. This also is an amazing group of beautiful, talented queens. Everyone brings something different to the table and everyone is very different from last season too.

There are amazing guest judges like Kathy Griffin and Henry Rollins and living legends Cloris Leachman and Debbie Reynolds. It was such an amazing adventure and I think everyone enjoyed the ride. I think you’ll be able to tell how much fun we all had when you watch the show. At least I hope you can!

MS: You seem like you are being awfully nice, not like the bitch some people say you are.

PB: Sometimes in this business you have to be strong. Some people take that as being bitchy. I’ve certainly had my moments in the past of being a bitch, but you learn and you grow. I try to be as positive as I can be. It’s all about positive energy. I’ve gotten much more out of life being positive than a Negative Nancy.

It’s much easier to be nice to people. It takes a lot of energy just to be a wretched bitch to everyone. Mind you, I still keep razor blades in my weave in case I need to cut a Ho! MS: You seem a bit touched, like the type of person who might interview himself or wear a macrame tutu, jeweled pasties and jelly shoes and do a choreographed snowshoe samba in your backyard.

PB: Where were you in that backyard? I knew I was being watched!

If you’d like to watch more of the antics of Rochester’s own Pandora Boxx, tune into Season 2 of RuPaul’s Drag Race, Mondays at 9 p.m. on Logo (starting Feb. 1). To get immersed in the world of RuPaul’s Drag Race and see the episodes online, go to www.rupaulsdragrace.com. For more information on Pandora Boxx log on to www.pandoraboxx.com.

Look for Pandora’s hit original play “The Lipstick Massacre” to return in the spring at Geva (www.facebook.com/lipstickmassacre). ■

(Geva from page 1) members of the Tectonic Theatre Project, but also refer to media coverage of the violent hate crime that caused Shepard’s death.

In “The Laramie Project: 10 Years Later,” members of the Tectonic Theatre Project revisit Laramie, and ask many of the people who were interviewed in the earlier play questions regarding how Laramie has changed, to what degree, and in what ways in the 10 years since Shepard’s death. The part of the play that focused on these interviews encouraged audience members to consider such questions as: who determines when change has happened? What constitutes change, and to what extent must things change in order for the progress to be significant?

The play also features selections from interviews with Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson, who tortured Shepard, tied him to a fence and left him to die. Their stories regarding the events of that night have changed over the last decade, and the inconsistency of their stories has affected the media coverage of their crimes.

The play talked about how some of the media coverage of the aftermath of Shepard’s death promoted ideas that were directly contradicted by the forensic evidence, in order to downplay the degree

to which bigotry affected McKinney and Henderson and, ultimately, to imply that the murder was not a hate crime.

Following the reading, the audience engaged in a discussion moderated by Christine Meleca-Voigt, Gary Pudup of NYCLU, Kelly Clark of the Gay Alliance Community Safety Program and Michael Boucher.

The audience discussed the importance of activism, the role of allies in bringing about change, the tension between the need to acknowledge where bigotry exists and the desire to remember and emphasize the positive and the role and degree of homophobia in law enforcement. A common theme was the difficulty of analyzing the full range of perspectives on these issues in a way that continues to enable dialogue and communication.

Clark and Pudup both spoke about the importance of hate crime legislation regarding assaults based on sexual orientation or gender identity, such as the recently passed Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act. All in all, the evening was engaging and thought-provoking. Future Hornets’ Nest events can be found at http://www. gevatheatre.org/events/the-hornets-nest. html or by calling Geva Theatre at 2324382. ■

(L to R): J. R. Teeter, Judy Molner, Jamal Abdunnasir. Photo: Laura McSpadden

Black History films run at Little, Feb. 19-25 February 19-25 marks the fourth annual “Spotlight on Black History Month” at The Little Theatre. This film series brings various aspects of African-American life to the big screen, including the drive to embrace the American Dream, the revitalization of a scarred community, and the ongoing struggles to overcome the dark sides of black history in America.

The goal of the series is to present a varied range of film topics and to provide a forum for open discussion and education.

The films include Shadows of the Lynching Tree (Rochester Premiere), directed by Rochester native Carvin Eison (Talkback with the director will follow the 6:30 showing on Feb. 19); Pressure Cooker, a documentary about the lives of a strict but loving teacher of culinary arts in an inner city high school in Philadelphia, and a half dozen of her students, and Heart of Stone, a documentary about a gutsy Newark high school principal’s efforts to stave off gang violence and boost student morale.

“This year’s program takes a look at the darker side of our nation’s past,” comments Bob Russell, executive director at The Little. “But also at the hope that creates the bright side of our future.”

Tickets for all films are $5.

Bread & Water Theatre plans 2010 season With upcoming productions such as Terre Haute, Lambda Project: The Art of Pride, Ladies and Gentlemen, Nijinsky’s Last Dance and The Arsonists, it comes as no surprise that Bread and Water Theatre is entering into their 10th year of operation.

The first production of the 2010 season is Edmund White’s Terra Haute, about an author coming face-to-face with

America’s most notorious terrorist. With the terrorist on death row, the lack of time causes a strange bond between the two men. This is a taut drama that touches on the definitions of freedom and the need for love. “White has captured the amusingly constricted voices of the patrician novelist and the plebian terrorist cannily and cogently.” - The New York Times. Performance dates: Feb. 26, 27; March 5, 6, 12, and 13 at 8 p.m.; March 7 and 14 at 2 p.m.)

Bread and Water Theatre will be participating in The Rainbow Theater Festival for 2010. This will include a few different productions, the first beginning with The Lambda Project: The Art of Pride, a series of real-life stories from the public on the topic of sexuality and the Rainbow Pride Flag and brought to life by Bread & Water Theatre’s performers. Performance dates: April 9 and 10 at 8 p.m.; April 11 at 2 p.m.)

The second production falling under the umbrella of The Rainbow Theater Festival for 2010 is Ladies and Gentlemen by Emma Donoghue. The play was inspired by an 1895 newspaper expose of Annie Hindle – the mustachioed “Monarch of Male Impersonation” who threw it all away for love. Sunday Tribune: “Ladies and Gentlemen plays wonderful theatrical games, gently blurring the sexual boundaries between gender and identity… a deeply satisfying and moving meditation on life in love and theatre.” Performance dates: April 16, 17, 23, and 24 at 8 p.m.; April 25 at 2 p.m.

Bread & Water Theatre’s season will be presented at 243 Rosedale St. (New Life Presbyterian Church at the corner of Monroe Ave. and Rosedale St.) beginning Feb. 26 and running through Nov. 21. Single tickets range from $6-$12 and may be purchased in person or at BreadandWaterTheatre.org.

For more information, call (585) 271-5523 and for information on later productions of 2010, see The Empty Closet. ■

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February 2010 • number 431 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Next Door Bar and Grill 3220 Monroe Avenue Rochester, New York 14618 Phone: (585)249-4575 Website: http://www.nextdoorbarandgrill.com E-mail: reservations@nextdoorbarandgrill.com Dinner: 5:30 – 10pm every day Bar: 4pm–1am, Sunday–Thursday; 4pm–2am, Friday and Saturday Onsite parking lot in rear, valet parking available.

Future plans: to open for lunch; to add a tasting menu

Next Door Bar and Grill

taurant scene. These are fork tender and delicate. Cooked cabbage, spaetzle and veal jus accompany the cheeks.

Next Door’s selection of food, wine and spirits is bound to delight most foodies, but this establishment has not forgotten those who prefer more familiar fare. Roasted Young Chicken ($17), Pasta Bolognese ($16), Linguine with Red Sauce ($14) or Hearth Baked Mac ‘n’ Cheese ($15) are some of the comfort food items always on the menu.

Checking out the Dessert Menu is a must here. The dessert selections, like the rest of the menu, reflect the use of fresh seasonal ingredients, locally grown and organic whenever possible. The desserts, including ice creams, are made from scratch in house.

We were pleased with our choice of the Sweet Potato Cheesecake ($8). The individual sized round sweet spiced cheesecake has a thick gingersnap crust and is served with a cranberry sauce and vanilla Chantilly. The Mini Warm Apple Pie ($9) is an individual round lattice top pie made with local apples. We thought the simple piecrust needed more richness to come up to the other more pronounced flavors of this dessert (red currant sauce, apple syrup and house made maple ice cream).

On another occasion we had the Molten Chocolate Cake ($7). This dessert is unapologetically flamboyant. The cake is rich, fragrant with serious chocolate, warm and moist. It’s stuck with a long flame-shaped tuile and served with Bittersweet Caramel Ice Cream on a piece of nut brittle. As if that’s not enough, the plate is streaked with a port wine reduction. Caramelized pecans inhabit one side of the dessert and a few fresh raspberries the other. Finally it’s all dusted with powdered sugar to complete this culinary and visual masterpiece.

We finished with the regular drip coffee ($2.25). It’s a rich and complex Columbian blend, roasted in the European style and served in an over-sized cup.

Cappuccino or Latte ($4.50), Double Shot Espresso ($4) or Tea ($2.25) can all top off a great meal in style.

General Manager Alex Berentzen pointed out to us that they have paid attention to the smallest details. The dishes are handsome commercial grade white bone china. Small wooden Japanese sake boxes hold the sugar and sweetener. The check comes in a leather backgammon dice shaker. Innumerable small special touches reinforce the fact that Next Door Bar and Grill aspires to be way more than average. We think they’ve succeeded. ■

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By Paul Hoffman Our first impression on arriving at Next Door Bar and Grill was that this place belongs in a larger and trendier market, like Los Angeles. Next Door is in Rochester because this is the headquarters of Wegmans, and Pittsford the home of their flagship store (of their 75 store supermarket chain spread across five states). Wegmans is an integral part of our community and its new restaurant, Next Door, has created quite a buzz around town.

Wegmans Corporation has reinvented their fine dining restaurant, Tastings, with the more informal Next Door Bar and Grill, across Monroe Avenue from their Pittsford Super Store. They have twice the space (10,700 square feet) of the original restaurant and seating for 270 indoors and 44 outdoors.

Next Door is elegant, but has a casual come as you are atmosphere, so diners can feel comfortable here in casual attire or in a business suit. Interior Designer Stency Wegman, wife of CEO Danny Wegman, has incorporated natural woods, leathers, and fabrics in soft tones into the design.

Wood surfaces replace formal tablecloths.

Birch logs divide the entry foyer from the bar and flank the corridor leading to the main dining room. Burl wood hanging fixtures dot the dining room and bar and larger rustic fixtures dress the smaller private dining rooms that adjoin the main dining room.

One enters the restaurant between two temperature controlled, glass walled wine “cellars”. A U-shaped bar is bordered by several alcove type rooms furnished with large comfortable leather upholstered furniture. Bright red accents appear throughout the restaurant, and seem to hint at the excitement that is in the air here most of the time.

The Sushi Bar and Robata Grill jut into the Main Dining Room. A canopy of tooled steel and a back wall of flagstone accent the open food preparation areas.

Private Rooms named after wine producers (Petrus, Rothschild and Remoissenet)

open into the Main Dining Room, as does the Test Kitchen. Two luxurious Frenchbuilt Molteni Commercial Stoves have been installed, one in the main kitchen and one in the Test Kitchen. The private rooms can be rented out to accommodate parties of eight to 100. The state-of-theart Test Kitchen lends itself to chef demonstrations and tastings and houses the restaurant’s cooking library and several new high end commercial appliances.

Next Door is riding the crest of the wave in food and hospitality trends. General Manager Alex Berentzen heads up the operation. He has helped develop and consult for restaurants in The Netherlands and Charleston and for the Ritz Carlton in Orlando. Berentzen, Assistant General Manager Josh Miles and Restaurant Manager Patrick Nalley are all Certified Sommeliers.

The Wine List is extensive (about 300 selections) in a wide range of prices. Several carefully selected wines are available by the glass ($5 – 17). Bottled and draft beers, local domestic and imported are on the menu ($4 – 6). They even have their own craft beer, Rohrbach Next Door Ale (12 oz/$4, 16oz/$5). Specialty Drinks ($8) are designed as a twist on the classics or based on fresh seasonal ingredients and juices for the “best cocktails in town”.

Happy Hour is every day from 4 – 7 p.m., with food and drink specials.

Executive chef Chris Brandt has developed the menus at Next Door. Brandt, a New Jersey native, came to Tastings from the Ocean Room in Charleston in 2007.

He’s been earning accolades since graduating from Hyde Park’s Culinary Institute of America (CIA) in 1993.

“The level at which you start to compromise and accept mediocrity will inevitably define where you will fall,” says Brandt. “I do not compromise, nor do I accept mediocrity.”

Tokyo native and Master Sushi Chef Satoshi Yamaguchi heads up the Sushi Bar. The authentic sushi and sashimi are very popular and can be ordered by the piece ($2 – 2.75) or as rolls or assorted plates at quantity prices.

A meal at Next Door can be as struc-

F re e E s t im at e s

Dining

tured or free form as you want to make it. Appetizers lend themselves to sharing, as do many other items on the menu.

We had the Crispy Tuscan Fries ($7). We planned to just sample these, as 2010 was still young and our New Year’s resolutions were still strong. These fries are freshly made; hot, crisp, a little more toasted than usual to coax out every bit of flavor the humble potatoes can possibly give up.

They’re served with an herbed citrus dipping mayo. A few roasted garlic cloves are mixed in as a little bonus.

We found that the Tuscan fries were not just good. They were spectacular.

As we stared down into the empty paper cone container, resolutions cast aside, we thought for a moment about ordering another!

The Robata Grill is a Japanese style cooking apparatus that uses Binchotan white oak charcoal for high temperature grilling to produce a light smoky flavor.

Items such as beef, pork, shrimp, scallops, asparagus, eggplant and mushrooms are grilled and served with imaginative sauces and garnishes in tapas-sized servings ($5 – 7).

Six designer pizzas are available ($8 – 12). They have very thin crusts, like a soft cracker. We had the earthy and very delicious Truffle Pizza ($12). It sports a ricotta cheese custard, sliced black truffles, grated cheese and parsley. This one begs to be accompanied by a complex Burgundy.

The five salads on the menu ($6 – 12) are likewise served with panache.

The Next Door Caesar Salad ($8) consists of several whole leaves of dressed Romaine, stacked together and tied up with a lengthwise slice of English cucumber. It’s topped with white anchovies and garnished with crisp fried oysters and pickled red onion. It’s quite a presentation!

Several meat ($11 – 24), fish ($18 – 23) and pasta ($14 – 16) entrée items round out the menu. The Salmon A La Plancha deserves honorable mention. A French tarragon seasoned salmon steak is cooked on hot steel, to give it a golden crisp outer crust and served over Apple-Horseradish-Parsnip “Hash” with a Horseradish Crème Fraiche.

The Bouley Burger ($11), a substantial portion of ground beef, choice of cheese, vegetables, ketchup and mustard on a toasted English muffin, acknowledges celebrity chef David Bouley, who has been a longtime consultant to Tastings and now to Next Door.

The Braised Veal Cheeks ($17) is a relative new comer to the mainstream res-

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 431 • February 2010

Travel

NY Sharks bite Bank of Hollywood

By Merle Exit Adrienne Smith, Leeann Brzozowski and Melodie Abrook, three players from the New York Sharks women’s professional football team, entered the world of celebrity money handouts and were granted the $65,000 that they asked for.

It was the new Ryan Secrest-produced E! reality show, “Bank of Hollywood,” that pinned them up against “bankers” Sean Patterson, Vanessa Rousso, Melody Thornton and Candy Spelling. The Sharks requested funding for training and competing in the first ever International Women’s Tackle Football Tournament, to be held in Stockholm, Sweden in June 2010.

How did this all come about? “I received an email in September regarding something referred to as ‘your dream,’” said Adrienne.

“My job entails marketing and I got in touch with a few of the players to get their opinion on whether this would be something that would work for the team. With a positive reply, I filled out the application, which I was to bring with me to a casting call in New York City. Both Leanne and Melodie were behind me and available. We showed up dressed in full gear.

“I got a callback for round two, in which they videotaped us asking for the money. The producer must have been impressed, as I kept receiving calls and paperwork. They requested our appearance in Hollywood.”

Andra Douglas, owner of the New York Sharks (www.nysharksfootball.com), flew out with them. Two of the producers met with her after deciding on what day the shoot would occur.

“After we arrived,” Adrienne continued, “they took us to the studio for a

Leanne Brzozowski, Adrienne Smith and Melodie Abrook of the NY Sharks.

rehearsal. That’s when we learned who the judges were, although we never made contact with them until that actual day of the shoot.”

The contestants are kept separated and the producers provided many rehearsals, as Adrienne, the main spokesperson, represented the three. “We waited in the ‘green room’ hearing the live audience ‘cheering’ or ‘booing’. I can’t begin to tell you how nervous we were.”

At first, the audience and judges see three apparently male football players.

“We had our hair totally tucked into our helmets. When we removed them, there were cheers as the audience reacted to our being females.

“While we were making our appeal, there was footage of our team playing in the background. It took three of the four judges to say ‘yes’!”

What does it mean for the New York Sharks? The competition involves both the Independent Women’s Football League (www.iwflsports.com) and USA Football (www.usafootball.com); the $65,000 will

help fund the New York Sharks’ participation in the tournament.

“It doesn’t guarantee that the three of us will play,” said Adrienne, “as there are coaches from both the IWFL and USA Football selecting the qualified players.”

Team USA players will be selected from the Independent Women’s Football League (IWFL), which consists of more than 1,800 female athletes on 51 teams across North America. According to the IWFL website, the player roster would be announced by Feb. 1. ■

Join us on the journey in a vibrant community of faith.

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February 2010 • number 431 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Columnists

The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet.

Growing Up Choices

By Eric Bellmann 11:30 on New Year’s Eve and my cell phone rings.

Isn’t that the usual time when sentimental types track you down to reconnect?

I’m in a crowded, fairly noisy restaurant with a bunch of friends and, with delight, press the phone to my ear. Gurgle, mumble, click is all I hear. Wrong number? Possibly. Or a drunk too far gone to speak. Maybe. Sure enough there’s no return number. Another mystery added to the pile of things one can’t explain.

Isn’t being in love the be-all and endall of existence? I sure thought so and from time to time still do. When A. lived in Rochester I was thrilled and charmed by him. He was peppy, spontaneous. I felt lucky that I’d found him and eagerly looked forward to the time we’d spend together.

After he moved back to New York, our phone conversations were frequent and increasingly more intimate. Less glib, less dazzle, the distance seemed to facilitate confidences. No doubt that this was informed by his loneliness.

One evening he owned up to being chemically dependent. Well, just a pothead, but one with a lot of other issues.

Talk about tossing red meat to a carnivore!

Immediately I became so focused on helping, healing that it made me high. A mission! I told him I loved him, he mumbled back a quiet, “likewise”.

Over the next couple of years when I’d visit New York, my all consuming drive was to track him down, hang out, listen to the latest recitation of troubles and injustices: this relationship, that job, his parents, what to do about the future, how to resolve wounds from the past. It was heaven, exactly what I wanted. I tried to hook him up with recovering friends, tough guys he could relate to, with no success. Then there would be a stretch of silence broken eventually with a phone call or a card. Once I found a package in the mail with an I Love the Bronx T-shirt in it. Adorable, my baby’s back.

When I got my own place in the city, everything changed. I saw him only twice, both times at his invitation. We met at museums on free admission nights, walked around afterwards. I never told him where my apartment was. I never called him to let him know my schedule. I couldn’t figure out what was up with me.

The mind chugs along on more than one track. On one hand I had the joy of love, the indulgence of obsession. That is no small order. I’ve lived many years of my life focused on a love object, a changing parade, to be sure. I’m energized, I feel fuller, I have something to think about.

It’s a full immersion deal. The other train of thought is critical, a standing back, trying to assess what’s really going on.

At one point when A. was especially unreliable and borderline abusive, behavior I excused in light of that pesky drug habit, which by now I knew was more than just pot, I felt enough anguish that I took my heartache to my shrink. He chewed me out in a rather professional manner, advising me I really didn’t know if A. was addicted. But then he told me it was possible to love someone from a distance. I had that choice. That became my new strategy. I could have my cake and eat

it too, love A. and get swallowed by the torment of his conflicted emotions. And time marched along.

I’ve passed the two year mark of having my own place in New York. I’m there slightly less than the time I spend in Rochester. I’ve never called A., not once.

In New York I see plays, arty movies, and dance performances. I walk endless hours and explore the far corners of all the boroughs. I talk to strangers, snoop in porn shops, sit in parks when the weather is nice. I love the subways, I doubly love the racial diversity and I triple love modern gay life as I see it everywhere. I have cool old ladies I lunch with, and now and then I’m invited to dinner in someone’s incredible magazine worthy home. I cruise. I never connect and that’s just the way I want it to be. I’m part ghost, part connoisseur, a little Garbo, just an old guy going about the city. And happy, very happy, happier than I ever been before.

I have a couple of framed photographs of the two of us, A. and I, really nice pictures in which we both look great. I ask myself why I have those pictures. My answer is something like, that was then, this is now. What actually does now mean?

Truth is, A. straightened out, got his own place, went back to school, stopped using for nearly a year and was willing to confess when he’d started up again. Only pot, he insisted. I congratulated him on all counts. Still I never called, never found again the compulsion to be with him, see him. How come? Am I some kind of zombie fag?

It took literature to provide the answer.

I was reading an article, maybe a book review in the New Yorker, I’m not sure what or where, but I came across a sentence that said, “If people choose to fall in love, they can choose to not be in love.”

And that exactly is what happened. I just hadn’t noticed.

Funny thing is I don’t feel lost, incomplete. I’m just fine. I’m not hopeful for A. nor am I pessimistic about his future and I guess I’m no longer angry that he isn’t who I wanted him to be. I read a long time ago that the opposite of love isn’t hate. It’s indifference.

Reading obviously has its rewards.

E-mail: ELBCAD@RIT.EDU

Cleaning My Closet Now and then

By Meredith Elizabeth Reiniger She is 14 inches tall. If she could stand. What once was white is shabby brown. Or balded away. Her arms and legs are floppy. But she is still vital. No eyes. Both buttons lost.

When she and I were young, my teddy bear was “he.” Today, with a mere pronoun change, Teddy has become a transgender female. We both feel better sharing this truth. More importantly, I still love my 65-year-old teddy bear, my stuffed senior-citizen friend.

Now I move Elder Bear from the bookshelf and relocate her to my Big Pink Chair while I start gathering lesbian literature to donate to the library of the Gay Alliance. It’s time to let go. Yes, twentyten is a good year to release my bound treasures, to send them on their way, into other hands, other minds.

With a wistful sigh, I rest my hands on a light brown paperback. I pull out my

copy of The Well Of Loneliness. I feel the pain and I feel the joy.

Written in 1928, Radclyffe Hall’s novel exploded the doors right off British and American closets. Homophobes were horrified by the story of Stephen Gordon, a woman who loved another woman. Critics ranted against such a detestable book, a novel that claimed “sexual inversion” was natural and God-given.

The sex scene was appalling. In its entirety it read: “And that night they were not divided.”

The British press was enraged. One editor declared that he would rather give young children a dose of deadly poison than a copy of the novel.

Ironically, the outrage became the publicity that drew LGBTIQ people to read the book. Hall’s message was powerful: “Give us also the right to our existence.” The Well Of Loneliness became a treasure for young people who had feared that they were alone.

Now I let this piece of our lesbian history slip into the packing box. Now it can become someone else’s treasure.

Next shelf. The bright orange cover catches my attention. I reach for my well-worn copy of LESBIAN WOMAN. I had started reading that book when I was in Fort Lauderdale. 1981. The beach was teeming with heterosexual belly buttons and adolescent hair-full chests. Surging hormones on their proverbial spring break.

On the contrary, my 37-year-old mammary glands and pubic hairs were politely tucked into ample folds of cotton. But only my mind was surging. I and a large stack of books were on a study break. I, a Cradle Heterosexual, was researching the lives of women, lesbians included. I wanted to analyze sexism and Gyn/Ecology.

Warmed by Florida sunshine, I ran my hand over the orange book. In my then-mind the large white letters of the title spelled “other”. On that day, in that year, I was not quite ready to look into that orange colored mirror. I could not see that authors Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon would become my coming-out mothers.

It is three decades later. Tenderly I slide the book into the box. It is time to let Del and Phyllis leave, to let them become some other womyn’s Grand Mothers.

I scan the shelves again. I can’t find my autograph book. I know I had it in 1955.

All the 6th graders had one then. Now I need it to see the name of our gorgeous gym teacher. His eyes had flashing sparkles like Brenda Starr’s. That so-long-ago June, all the tittering girls lined up outside his office door, trying to cope with the end of our elementary school life, the end of Our Life With Him. Actually I do not have to find my autograph book. I can see now what he wrote then: “False friends are like autumn leaves, scattered everywhere. True friends are like diamonds, precious but rare. So when you find one tried and true, don’t give up an old one for a new.”

I can see my Self sitting close to his desk, witnessing the art of his handwriting. With each letter, his pen hit the ruler that he held in place. It made flat bottoms on all his words. Maybe he was gay.

Back to now as I haul out a heavy volume. The Norton Anthology of Literature by Women. At forty-one, I read from Alcott to Welty. Inside that book I had discovered that women did more than “live happily ever after”. Now the inside cover reminds me that Nanci gave this treasure to me eons ago. The eons when women’s writings and women’s lives had not been included in The Norton Anthology of Literature by Dead White Males.

Secreted between the pages are fragments of my autobiography. Greeting cards from happenings and people past.

Hand-written notes sharing special sentiments about mutual moments. Ticket stubs faintly connecting me to places, linking me to the other ticket holder.

Friends remembered. Some forgotten.

I remove a small brown envelope, my first paycheck from Then that I have Now. I was eight and had earned $84 working two days in my daddy’s gas sta-

tion. Inside the pay envelope, my wages: a shiny sliver dollar. The withholding tax was $83. The percentage was amusing then. Now such a numerical shock stalks my tomorrows.

In 1966, my starting teacher’s salary was $6,600. A year. Fervently I now hope that my health insurance won’t cost $6,600. Per month. It is conceivable. This year my health insurance increased 38 percent. My retirement income did not.

I pull out another previously enjoyed book. George Orwell’s 1984. My homework reading for 1959. I was 15 years old, I believed in wedding bells, and I knew that the year 1984 was the very, extremely distant future. A future of white picket fences and little blonde babies all in a row.

Furthermore, with my limited worldview and absent political sense, I believed whole-heartedly that Orwell’s dire predictions were merely a figment of his paranoia. “Big Brother is watching you.” Of course not. For my social studies teachers taught me so. NEVER. Not in the United States of united people. Of course my American Privacy was Permanent.

But daily that “never” word taunts me.

I drive by blue light “crime catching cameras” and wave. I stand in the doorway of a store, lean against the yardstick attached to their doorframe, stand a little taller, and give the security tape a broad smile.

In the clothing store’s dressing room, “Never” disrobes with me while a female attendant peers through a perfectly permissible peephole. In the airport, I raise my arms high while a stranger crouches in a closet and stares at images of my sags and my underpants.

Now my shelf search is slow. No book can leave my room before I riffle its pages one more time. Now I fill my lap with the scraps rescued from the pages of my books. I snuggle into my Big Pink Chair and hug Elder T. Bear. Slowly I open my fingers to look at my collection of papers so they can tell me lost stories of Such A Time.

MeredithElizabethReiniger@frontiernet.net

Faith Matters Black gays invited to White House

By Rev. Irene Monroe Just as my enslaved ancestors could have never imagined an African American family residing in the White House, nor could my African American lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer brothers and sisters who fought in the Stonewall Riots of 1969 in New York’s Greenwich Village imagine that one day a special invitation from the White House would openly welcome us in.

This past December, the National Black Justice Coalition (NBJC), a civil rights organization dedicated to empowering LGBTQ people of the African Diaspora by eradicating the twin evils of racism and homophobia, received the White House invitation to its Holiday Open House Tours.

With less than a week to recover from the “shock and awe” of the news, several of us flew across the country to D.C. Under the leadership of Sharon J. Letterman, NBJC’s new Executive Director, who cleverly had a hand in NBJC receiving the invitation, 25 of us on Dec. 17 arrived at the Southeast Gate at Alexander Hamilton Place and East Executive Avenue for our 6 p.m. tour.

Due to the White House State Dinner party crashers, Tareq and Michelle Salahi, in November, the security getting into the White House was so tight it operated like a beast on steroids. Brian K. Bond, Deputy Director of the White House Office of Public Engagement, sent out the following statement in terms of security: “Each person in your tour will need

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 431 • February 2010

to have a U.S. Government-issued photo ID. If an individual’s name and security information were not previously submitted for purposes of background check by the sponsoring organization, that individual will not be admitted at the gate due to security reasons.”

Once in the White House, tours were self-guided. However, the United States Secret Service officers were posted in every room, not only for security reasons, but also to provide historical information about each room in the White House.

Luckily, NBJC had its own White House historian on our tour, Dr. Sylvia Rhue, Director of Religious Affairs at NBJC. Rhue became a self-made White House historian when she found out that her enslaved maternal great-great-grandmother was born in Blair House, the official state guesthouse of the President.

Francis Preston Blair, Sr. (1791-1876), prominent politician and editor of the Washington Globe in the 1800s, had three sons: Montgomery, James and Francis Jr. And Francis Preston Blair, Sr. is a great-great-grandfather of America’s film and stage actor of the ‘60s, Montgomery Clift, who was bisexual, and who might also be Rhue’s great-great cousin.

Montgomery Blair (1813- 1883), in Rhue’s family lineage, was a cabinet member of Abraham Lincoln’s administration during the Civil War, serving as Postmaster-General from 1861-1864. Rhue suspects that her great-great-grandmother was either Blair’s illegitimate child or a child born to a slave family working for the Blairs.

In an interview, she said, “My greatgreat-grandmother may have been at some point Blair’s mistress. It’s not unusual you know. But it’s amazing how so much of our history is now coming to light. Deborah’s great-great-grandfather was the first black Postmaster. His boss may have been Montgomery Blair. Small world.”

Rev. Deborah L. Johnson, a lesbian, and founder and president of Inner Light Ministries, a transdenominational spiritual community of more than 1,500 people in Northern California, was also with the NBJC’s contingent on the tour.

For Rhue and Johnson, the Holiday Open House Tour allowed them to imagine what life must have been like for their enslaved relatives working in and around the White House and D.C. The White House was built between 1792 and 1800. And slave labor was an integral part of the construction of the White House, the U.S. Capitol building and grounds. The White House Historical Association reports, “Black quarrymen, sawyers, brick makers and carpenters fashioned raw materials into the products used to erect the White House.”

Five slaves -- named Tom, Peter, Ben, Harry and Daniel -- worked as carpenters during the building of the White House in 1795. And in 1863, a slave named Philip Reid supervised the construction of the Statue of Freedom that was hoisted atop the Capitol dome.

With the twin evils of racism and

homophobia erasing LGBTQ African Americans’ historical contributions and connections to the physical building of the White House and the moral building of our nation, Rhue’s and Johnson’s family histories are a reminder that we, too, are unequivocally an integral part of this history.

Conundrums Is Harold Ford, Jr. just whistling Dixie?

By Ove Overmyer A politician changing their mind on gay marriage is nothing new, and generally it’s to be expected. I would like to think some of that lobbying I do is paying

dividends.

New York Senator Chuck Schumer has done it. I remember personally asking him the marriage question just a few years ago at the Park Avenue Festival. He told me flatly, “No, I would not and do not support same sex marriage, period.”

He came to his senses last year, when opinion polls showed that more than half of the state residents support marriage equality. Even President Bill Clinton has evolved on the issue.

Now let’s add Harold Ford Jr. to that list, the former chair of the Democratic Leadership Council, and a former U.S. Representative from Tennessee now looking at a run for the U.S. Senate in New York. Something to cheer about? Maybe.

It’s always good to have another passenger on the marriage equality love train.

But something tells me that his evolution comes at a time when it’s imperative to support this issue if you want to be a credible Democratic candidate in a liberal state. Can he be trusted? I don’t know just yet.

Ford, a well respected star in Democratic circles, moved to New York about three years ago. In recent weeks, he’s reportedly been weighing a challenge to Kirsten Gillibrand, Gov. Paterson’s appointee to the seat vacated by Hillary Rodham Clinton after Clinton became secretary of State. Incidentally, a Patersonbacked bill that would have legalized gay marriage in New York was soundly defeated in the state Senate last month.

On Jan. 11, Ford spokesman Davidson Goldin told the New York Post, “He supports gay marriage, in the interest of fairness and equality.” Ford backed up that statement himself that same morning on the Today Show with Matt Lauer.

Ford also said there’s a “fiction” in language between civil unions and same-sex marriages, and that he now supports gay nuptials because it’s the best way to keep equal benefits flowing.

Saying he supported civil unions when he ran for Congress in Tennessee in 1996, Ford stated, “My support for fairness and equality existed long before I moved to

Veterinary Hospital Andy Fleming, DVM Aida Aponte-Lann, DVM 1311 Marsh Road Pittsford, NY 14534 (585) 248-9590

New York.”

Asked again by host Matt Lauer if it was a “change” in position, he invoked good ol’ Chuck Schumer and Bill Clinton, saying: “Maybe in the language. But I’m a believer that benefits should flow to same sex partners and if indeed the fiction of the language, the title, should be changed, much like Chuck Schumer who changed his mind on it and Bill Clinton’s evolved, I’m of the opinion now that nothing is wrong with that.”

During five terms in Congress, from 1997 to 2007, and an unsuccessful 2006 bid for a Senate seat from his native state of Tennessee, Ford, 39, came out in support of civil unions and other equal-rights measures for gays, but not same-sex marriage.

“Like countless others… Harold has been listening to the debate in state legislatures across the country,” Goldin said.

I guess his spokesperson was trying to explain away Ford’s recent change of heart.

In 2006, this was his response to a Republican ad that said he was pro-gay marriage: “Some news affiliates here in Tennessee have declined to carry the ad until they received verification from the RNC that I must be a supporter of gay marriage, which I am not,” he said. When Congressman Ford ran for the Senate that year, he supported the Defense of Marriage Act proscribing marriage equality.

Pardon me if I sound a little bit skeptical about Ford’s sincerity, but that’s just me. I have always been impressed by this guy, taking note of him some 13 years ago when he entered public and political life.

I find him articulate, charming, educated and hard working. But he also possesses all those qualities that scare me. I worked hard for Elliot Spitzer in 2006 and look where that got us. We still don’t have marriage equality in New York. And today, if things start leaning to the right on the political continuum, could Ford be conveniently swayed again -- just because he has “evolved” one more time on this issue?

For now, I’m sticking with Senator Kirsten Gillibrand. She spoke eloquently at the Empire State Pride Agenda dinner in Rochester last May and really impressed me with her devotion to civil rights issues. I know she will never flipflop on us. With Harold, who knows?

I’m amazed at what ambition and living in New York City for three short years can do to a Tennessee politician. Being a carpetbagger is never pretty.

Healthy & Queer LGBTorexia

By Erik Libey February 21 through 27 is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week in the United States. Eating Disorders are a serious issue in our country that affect millions of people. In fact, in the United States, as many as 10 million females and one million males are fighting a life and death battle with an eating disorder such as anorexia or bulimia. Millions more are struggling with binge eating disorder.

Before we start drawing the necessary connections to the LGBT community, let’s first review some definitions.

Anorexia is a serious, potentially lifethreatening eating disorder characterized by the (generally unrealistic) belief that once must constantly lose weight -- a goal most often achieved through self-starvation and excessive weight loss.

Bulimia is another serious eating disorder characterized by a cycle of bingeing and purging behaviors such as self-induced vomiting or, sometimes, abuse of laxatives designed to undo the effects of binge eating.

Binge Eating Disorder (BED) is a type of eating disorder not otherwise specified and is characterized by recurrent binge

eating without the regular purging behaviors typical of bulimia.

All three of these eating disorders are serious, and an individual suffering from one or more of them is at great risk of physical harm. Some of the most serious health risks include problems with oral health (serious teeth and gum infections), irregularities in heart rhythm and blood pressure, malnutrition, a reduction of bone density (osteoporosis -- which makes the bones dry and brittle and more prone to break), muscle loss, hair loss, severe dehydration, fatigue, spikes in cholesterol, and diabetes. At the most extreme end of the spectrum, eating disorders can certainly lead to death.

An individual suffering from an eating disorder will often try to hide their disorder… and may be in serious denial about the existence and risks of their disorder.

Many will also avoid seeking out help, believing that their disordered behavior is just a “phase” and will go away… or that they are in control of their disorder rather than their disorder controlling them.

This is never the case. A person with an eating disorder is a person in need of treatment and support. The most effective forms of treatment range from mental health counseling with a trained professional to intervention with prescribed medications. In some extreme cases, it may even be necessary to hospitalize patients for medical and/or psychiatric care.

So what does all this have to do with LGBT health anyway? Well, the data tells a pretty interesting, and disturbing, story.

While the majority of reported cases do remain among heterosexual females -they do not make up 100 percent of the population of people impacted by eating disorders.

It’s suspected that approximately 10 percent of total eating disorder cases in the USA occur in men… and many of these may be gay and bisexual men. In fact, numerous studies over the years have demonstrated that young gay men, including gay teens, are a leading risk group for eating disorders… and when compared to heterosexual men, they are nearly twice as likely to express dissatisfaction with their body and/or develop one or more of these eating disorders.

The data about lesbian and bisexual women is compelling, as well. For a very long time it was assumed that lesbian women “cared less” about tradition norms of female beauty -- meaning they didn’t want to have the stereotypical thin, feminine body type -- and were, therefore, lower risk for body and eating disorders.

Research over the last decade, however, has proved this simply isn’t the case.

Similarly, while there is less hard research about eating disorders in trans people, there are anecdotal reports from all over the country that trans people, especially young trans people, struggle with significant body dissatisfaction and are at high risk for eating disorders.

What is clear is that eating disorders are a problem -- for everyone… but perhaps especially for LGBT people. As a culture we need to relearn how to love our bodies; and if we DON’T love our bodies, we have to learn how to make changes in a way that is healthy. Doing so is just another piece of the puzzle in being… queer, proud, and HEALTHY! ■ Erik Libey is the Associate Director of LGBT & Rural Services at AIDS Care. and can be reached at (585)210-4192 or by email at elibey@acrochester.org. More information on LGBT health & community can be found online at AIDS Care’s LGBT Health website www.everybodysgood.com

Columnists Online EC Columnists Online EC Columnists Online EC Columnists Online Read all the Empty Closet columnists Got to www.gayalliance.org and click on “Empty Closet News.”

February 2010 • number 431 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 431 • February 2010

Planning a Valentine’s Day Party?

One Flat Rate: $500 All Night

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February 2010 • number 431 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

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The Empty Closet is a publication of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley.

875 East Main Street Rochester, New York 14605 Phone: (585) 244-9030 Fax: (585) 244-8246 Web: gayalliance.org E-mail: emptycloset@gagv.us

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GAGV Library seeks volunteers The GAGV Library is looking for volunteers to help expand the hours of operation. If you like queer books, magazines, music, and movies, this is the place to be! Contact Sean for more information on this great opportunity to give back to the community: seans@gayalliance.org or 244-8640 ex: 31.

TAKE OUR ONLINE SURVEY! Beginning Feb. 1, an online survey about the Empty Closet will be available online at www.gayalliance.org -- click on Empty Closet News. Let us know what’s important to you!

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 431 • February 2010

Gay Alliance News

Youth Section

Janet and Nick at Youth Winter Dance Party in the GAGV Youth Center.

Clark and Kyla Minx at Youth Winter Dance Party on Jan. 8.

College Tours start this month at Geneseo, Feb. 11

Laura McSpadden, Administrative Assistant

Brian Doran, Development Director

By Susan Jordan Laura McSpadden is the new administrative assistant at the Gay Alliance.

Laura has also been volunteering as a staff reporter/photographer for The Empty Closet, and will continue to do so.

Laura was born in Wabash, Indiana, although her father lived in Rochester in the 1970s. After graduating from Manchester College in Indiana, she worked here in home health care.

Laura says, “I knew I wanted to keep doing meaningful work and also keep being my authentic self. When I was at college I was very out and was the president of the LGBT student organization and worked with the administration on sensitivity to students with transgender identities. So stepping back into an environment where I had to be closeted and didn’t feel comfortable talking about my partner – I didn’t want to go back to that.

When I saw the job posting… all the job requirements were things I knew I could do… I just knew I had to do it.” ■

By Susan Jordan Brian Doran is the new Development Director at the Gay Alliance. A Rochester native, he grew up in the city and went to Aquinas. Then he went to MCC and Buffalo State in preparation for his first career – that of teacher.

Brian taught kindergarten and then ran the East Side Community Daycare for nine years. He then went back to teaching. However, his parents both became ill and he needed to spend his days caring for them. He took an evening job in marketing at Geva, and worked there for 13 years.

In 2007, Brian moved to AIDS Rochester, where he served as development and communications director.

Brian says, “In December I accepted a job here at the Alliance. The work is so important. People don’t realize what the Alliance does.”

He concluded, “I’m looking forward to a really exciting first year here, especially around Pride – this is the 21st year.” ■

By Sean Soper The Gay Alliance Youth Program is pleased to begin Queer College Tours! These tours give students the opportunity to learn about college climates and open their eyes to the possibilities of a college education.

Our first tour is scheduled for Feb. 11 at SUNY Geneseo. In order to help fund these college tours, the youth program has created college tour caps which will be available for a $1 donation at supportive area businesses. If you have any questions regarding joining a tour or anything else, e-mail Jess at jessc@gayalliance.org. Thank you for your continuing support! ■

Gay Alliance Youth Services for Rochester area LGBTQ and allied youth ages 13-23 www.gayalliance.org or contact JessC@gagv.us Youth Center Hours: Drop-in: Monday and Wednesday, 2-6pm Youth Group: Sunday, 2-4pm, ages 13-23

Sunday, 4-5pm, Drop In Hour Special Interest Programming: Transgender Youth • Arts and Crafts • Movies • Writing Special Events: Youth Dances • Day of Silence • The Big Gay Prom And we have: Pool Table • LGBTQ Youth Library • Internet Access Adult Volunteers Needed: Fun, friendly, safe adults are needed to volunteer their time and talents, providing positive role models, maybe sharing a talent or skill. Contact Scott Fearing, Outreach Coordinator, for an application: ScottF@gagv.us 585-244-8640 x14

Program Notes ing Violence Fear y l l u B Discrimination Pain Disappointme nt

Awakening the Power of Forgiveness to Transform “Life is an adventure in forgiveness” ~ Norman Cousins

Join us for an adventure of mutual discovery and sharing. How do we remove the barriers that keep us from the presence of love? What can we do to strengthen our resilience to victimization? Where do we even begin?

This four-part exploration of forgiveness has the potential to bring hope and renewal. Free and open to the LGBT community, friends and family.

Tuesdays: Feb 23, March 9, 23, April 6 • 6–8pm Light dinner served. Register by calling 585-244-8640 The Gay Alliance is a community partner of WXXI, NCBI and the Fetzer Institute’s Campaign for Love and Forgiveness

PFLAG in Honeoye FallsLima School District

On March 25 from 7-8:30 p.m., the Adult Enrichment program of the Honeoye Falls-Lima School District will host a film screening and discussion on “the realities of having a gay or lesbian child.” The free session which will be held in the high school library will include a viewing of the documentary “Anyone and Everyone,” and a facilitated discussion lead by members of the Rochester PFLAG. This is the first time this screening and discussion have been hosted by an area school district. For more information, contact Honeoye FallsLima Community Programs at 585-6247068 or www.hflcsd.org. For information about scheduling a screening, you can contact PFLAG@GayAlliance.org.

Trans Youth Group

The Youth Program at the Gay Alliance continues to offer a monthly support meeting for Trans-identified youth ages 13-23. For more information about the meetings, please contact Youth Program Director Jess Cohen at JessC@gayalliance. org or 585-244-8640 ext. 13.

JumpStart Youth Programming

The Gay Alliance is collaborating with GLSEN’s JumpStart program to host two four-hour workshops in February and March. One session will be focused on issues of Gender and the other will focus on the Day of Silence. For more infor-

mation about the collaboration or the JumpStart program, please contact Youth Program Director Jess Cohen at JessC@ gayalliance.org or 585-244-8640 ext. 13.

Speakers Bureau Keeps Talking

The Speakers Bureau of the Gay Alliance is one of the longest running efforts of the agency, and remains one of the busiest. Trained speakers have started 2010 with a flurry of activity, speaking at a number of local colleges and universities, high schools, churches and social service organizations. If you would like a training on LGBT issues in your workplace, faith community or school, please contact Jeanne Gainsburg, OutReach Coordinator, at JeanneG@Gayalliance.org 585244-8640

College LGBT Conference in Buffalo

April 16-18 2010, the University at Buffalo will host The Northeast LGBT Conference (NELGBTC), an annual conference for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and ally college students and the larger LGBTQ community. This year’s theme is “Sh(out): Celebrating Self, Creating Community”. Members of the CampusOUT, the Gay Alliance campus organizing project, will be traveling to Buffalo to participate. For more information, see the conference website at www. nelgbtc.com or contact CampusOUT@ gayalliance.org.

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February 2010 • number 431 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Day of Silence and The Big Gay Prom

Two of the largest special events for LGBT Youth in the Rochester area will be occurring soon. Friday, April 16 is the Day of Silence and Friday, May 7 is the fifth annual Big Gay Prom.

The Breaking the Silence Rally will again be held at the Auditorium Center on East Main St. and any students from around the region are welcome to participate. This year The Big Gay Prom is moving to the Strathallan Hotel on East Ave.

Save the Dates Day of Silence Friday, April 16

Big Gay Prom Friday, May 7

Community Safety

The Community Safety and AntiViolence team has been very busy helping people who have faced harassment, assault, and domestic violence. If you, or a friend, face any of these situations, call our Community Safety Team for resources and assistance at 585-244-8640 ext 19; Safe@GayAlliance.org.

5th Annual

Marriage

Gay Alliance in Mouse Ears

The Gay Alliance is a participant in the national Give a Day, Get a Disney Day campaign that is hoping to inspire one million people to volunteer a day of service to an organization in their communities. Volunteers will be given a one-day, one-theme park ticket to the Disneyland® Resort or Walt Disney World® Resort, free. For more information go to http://www.handsonnetwork.org/disney or contact Jeanne Gainsburg, OutReach Coordinator at 585-244-8640 ext.14.

Staff Stays Current on Courtroom Media

The Gay Alliance is a member of the Western New York Coalition for Crime Victim Services and on Jan. 16, staff attended a training which addressed laws and best practices surrounding media and electronic recording devices in New York State courtrooms. District Attorney Mike Green presented information on existing New York law which bans cameras in court, but has not been updated to deal with new technologies such as Twitter, cell phone cameras and video, etc.

National Black HIV Awareness Day

MOCHA Center and The Gay Alliance are partnering to offer a program for National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. On Saturday, Feb. 6, from 4 p.m.6 p.m. in the Apollo Room on the lower level of the Auditorium Center (875 E. Main St. 14605), the event will include a keynote speech by Rev. T. Gerald Williams, Unity Fellowship Church of Buffalo and the latest information from The Victory Alliance (Rochester’s HIV vaccine research). Entertainment will be provided

by Miss Sweet Potato Pie and Futurpointe Dance; also available will be food, information tables and free HIV testing. Contact: Michael Booth at 585-420-1400 x19 or mbooth@mochacenter.org.

OUTeach

OUTeach is a new social/support network for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and straight-allied teachers in Monroe County and surrounding area. A collaborative effort of GLSEN Rochester and the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, OUTeach works to improve school climate for teachers, staff, and students alike. Meetings are held the second Friday of each month from 4-6 p.m. at Equal Grounds.

E-mail OUTeachRochester@gmail. com or JessC@gayalliance.org for more info. ■

How to get your marriage recognized by New York State

By Jennifer Gravitz, Esq. Congratulations! If you are reading these words, you’re probably married and wondering what to do next. Remember just a few years ago when the right to marry, anywhere, was just a dream!

Thanks to Canada (and a handful of other countries), Massachusetts, Iowa, New Hampshire, Vermont and Connecticut, we can now marry the one we love.

Thanks to Martinez v. County of Monroe all New York State agencies (and private companies in certain circumstances) must recognize our marriages and extend the legal rights bestowed on all married couples. Yet we have reports of couples being turned away when they show up to exercise these rights.

You are now part of a growing group of same sex spouses who are advancing the fight for equality from the right to marry to the fight for recognition of those marriages. As always, this fight is one that requires education, advocacy and tenacity.

First, educate yourself on the legal rights and duties NY bestows on married couples. You can find a pretty good list at www.buddybuddy.com/mar-ny.html. Taking your spouse’s last name and changing your driver’s license to reflect it is a NYS right, as is being named on the birth certificate for a baby born during your marriage. Filing jointly on income taxes and receiving Social Security benefits are not -- they are federal benefits currently denied to us by the federal DOMA, or Defense of Marriage Act (more on that later).

If you are sure that NYS provides the right or protection you are seeking to married couples, the next step is to prepare to advocate for the recognition of your marriage and extension of that right to you and your spouse. You may not need to fight for this right, but best be prepared just in case. Get a certified copy of your marriage license (note to engaged couples — spend a few extra bucks and get several certified copies of your marriage license at the time of your wedding). Collect any other documentation you may need as well as copies of the agency’s policies if possible (check the NYS agency website for that information).

Take a few moments to plan your strategy. Read up on advocacy techniques and the latest successes. The Lambda Legal Education and Defense Fund is an excel-

lent source, as is the Empire State Pride Agenda, and Freedom to Marry (see sidebar for web addresses). Talk with other married couples to learn what worked for them. Get on the web and identify the names of agency supervisors and regional directors/commissioners at the office where you will make your request. Have copies of the Martinez case and the Governor’s memo in your file folder – both are available on the Gay Alliance web page. Dress respectfully, speak politely and approach the agency at a time when neither you nor the employee with whom you are dealing are pressed for time — yes, Mom was right — you do catch more flies with honey and the little things do matter.

Then, make the “ask.” Having all of your ducks in a row should make it easy for the agency to do the right thing. Hope for the best; plan for the worst. If initially denied, ask to speak to a supervisor and her boss if denied again. Remember names and titles. Be firm, but polite — don’t give the folks a reason to turn your request down by becoming irate or physically threatening.

If your request is denied, or conditionally granted, or if you are asked to do more than opposite gendered spouses are asked to do to access the legal protection, it is time to ratchet up the pressure.

Contact the Gay Alliance as well as the Empire State Pride Agenda. These agencies can easily recognize patterns and can advocate on your behalf, especially if they have gathered other evidence of discriminatory actions.

Write to the Commissioner of the agency that refused your request and demand that he or she comply with the law and the agency’s own policies. The Commissioner is the top ranking person responsible for the agency’s functioning and also reports directly to the Governor.

Send a copy of the letter to the Gay Alliance and the Empire State Pride Agenda as well as to NYS Attorney General Andrew Cuomo and to Governor David Paterson and ask them to insist that NYS employees comply with the law. Both men

were elected to their offices (and will be asking for your vote this November) and are charged with enforcing the law. Make them accountable to you.

You may need to contact a lawyer if the steps above still leave you without the legal protections to which you and your spouse are entitled. You might be delighted to know that most NY appellate courts and the top court, the Court of Appeals, have affirmed the Martinez decision so even the threat of a lawsuit should send an agency supervisor/director cowering and legal protections rapidly coming your way.

Once you receive the rights to which you are entitled, send a note of appreciation. Let the agency (the employees that helped and those that hindered you) know how much recognition of your marriage means to you and your family. Continuing to educate and advocate will make it easier for the next family who needs the same legal protection to get it. So, do we live and love happily ever after?

Not so fast — there are many legal battles for recognition of our marriages that are looming right in front of us. Private individuals can still regard us married folks as “single.” The mish-mash of state and federal laws under which private companies are governed make it difficult if not impossible for you to figure out what benefits you are entitled to from private companies without legal help. The federal government still hides behind DOMA to justify discrimination against same sex spouses (i.e. social Security benefits and citizenship — just to name two) and remember, many state rights are bundled together with federal laws and denied to us -- Medicaid, taxation of our spouses’ health insurance and the inability to file jointly on state income tax because we are unable to do so on our federal taxes — just to name a few more.

These situations are much thornier and will be the subject of next month’s article.

Until then, congratulations on your marriage and thank you for joining the battle to gain statewide compliance with the laws mandating recognition of them! ■

Marriage Resources The Gay Alliance: www.gayalliance.org Lambda Legal Education and Defense Fund: http://www.lambdalegal.org/our-work/issues/marriage-relationships-family/protecting-samesex-relationsh.html Empire State Pride Agenda: http://www.prideagenda.org/IssuesExplained/MarriageandFamilyProtection/tabid/67/Default.aspx Freedom to Marry: www.freedomtomarry.org/

The Gay Alliance 875 E. Main St., Suite 500 Rochester, NY 14605 • Hours Mon.-Fri., 9 am-5 pm • Phone: (585) 244-8640 • Fax: (585) 244-8246 • Website: www.gayalliance.org Empty Closet Phone: (585) 244-9030 • Empty Closet Fax: (585) 244-8246 • Empty Closet Advertising: (585) 244-9030 • Empty Closet E-mail: emptycloset@gagv.us Board President Tom Ferrarese • Executive Director Sue Cowell • Administrative Assistant Laura McSpadden • Program Director Scott Fearing Empty Closet Editor Susan Jordan • Graphics Jim Anderson • Community Safety Kelly Clark • Development Brian Doran Victim Advocate Kelly Baumgartner Youth Services Coordinator Jessica Cohen • CampusOut Assistant Mariam Mull • Outreach Coordinator Jeanne Gainsburg • AmeriCorps Member Sean Soper Youth Group: Youth Center, 1st Floor - Ages 13-23 Sundays 2-4 pm; Ages 18-25 Sundays 4:30-6pm • http://youth.gayalliance.org for after school schedule and special events.

The Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley is a non-profit agency, dedicated to cultivating a healthy, inclusive environment where gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans-gender (GLBT) people are safe, thriving and enjoying equal rights. We are a coalition of individuals and groups working to empower GLBT people, to affirm their identities, and to create an atmosphere where the diversity of our community can thrive both collectively and separately. We educate and advocate for civil rights for all and for the eradication of homophobia.

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 431 • February 2010

Resources Aids

Free testing for HIV exposure is available from New York State Department of Health: call Rochester Area Regional Hotline at (585) 423-8081, or 1-800-962-5063 for pay phones or calls outside Rochester. Deaf or hearing impaired people should call (585)423-8120 (TDD.) New Rapid HIV Testing now available — test results in 30-40 minutes! Statewide information can be obtained by calling 1-800-541-AIDS. Other organizations which provide AIDS-related services are as follows: AIDS Care 259 Monroe Ave., Rochester NY 14607. Provide. support servicces for people with HIV/AIDS and their families; presents educational programs related to HIV/STDs to community groups; offers free, confidential testing every Monday and Thursday, 5-8 pm (no appointment necessary).

Comprehensive HIV care and primary medical care for HIV positive individuals, their negative partners, and adult family members. Nutritional evaluation, vision screenings, gynecological care, medical case management/counseling, and substance abuse counseling, out-patient treatments and infusions onsite, liaison nurses to coordinate home-care needs, educational resources and support groups, an active Patient Advisory Committee (PAC), access to clinical trials, lab onsite, and referrals to psychotherapy and other specialized health services. 585-545-7200. Offices in Geneva (1-800-422-0282) and Bath (1-800954-2437).

Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley provides referrals to physicians and service agencies. (585) 244-8640; www.gayalliance.org Victory Alliance University of Rochester Medical Center. One of several research sites worldwide that comprise the HIV Vaccine Trials Network. Rochester site conducts research vaccine studies sponsored by National Institutes of Health (NIH) in the attempt to discover a vaccine that may one day prevent HIV infection or AIDS. Imagine a world without AIDS, learn how you can help create it. 585-7562329; www.vaccineunit.org.

Center for Health and Behavioral Training of Monroe County 853 Main St., Rochester 14611. Collaboration of Monroe County Health Department and U.R. Provides year-round training in prevention and management of STDs, HIV, TB and related issues, such as domestic violence and case management. (585)753-5382 v/tty.

Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/ Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Tollfree Helpline: 1-866-600-6886. Offers confidential HIV testing and information. When you make your appointment, be sure to ask about our sliding scale fees. No one is turned away for lack of ability to pay.

Rochester Area Task Force on AIDS A collection of agencies providing a multiplicity of resources and services to the upstate New York community. Their offices are located through the Finger Lakes Health Systems Agency, which also provides medical literature and newspaper clippings, as well as demographic and statistical data for use in developing health care services. (585) 461-3520.

MOCHA Center HIV prevention focus for men who have sex with men (MSM) in the minority community. Support groups, one on one peer education, safer sex workshops, referral services, buddy testing. 107 Liberty Pole Way. 420-1400.

Monroe County Health Department at 855 W. Main St., offers testing and counseling for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases.

(585)753-5481.

Strong Memorial Hospital provides a complete range of HIV medical care, including access to experimental treatment protocols, and HIV testing. Also provides individual and group psychotherapy. Training of health care professionals also available. Infectious Disease Clinic, (585) 275-0526. Department of Psychiatry, (585) 275-3379. AIDS Training Project, (585) 275-5693.

Planned Parenthood of Rochester and Genesee Valley offers testing and information (585) 546 2595.

Rural HIV testing anonymous and confidential, in Alleghany, Livingston, Ontario, Schuyler, Seneca, Steuben, Wayne or Yates Counties, call 1-800-962-5063.

Action Front Center (Action for a Better Community.) Provides HIV prevention education and case management services. Training and technical assistance to service providers. Resource library open to public. All services free and confidential. Multicultural and bilingual staff. Jearald Noble, program manager.

33 Chestnut St., second floor. Hours 8:30-5 pm, Monday-Friday. 262-4330; fax 262-4572. Free anonymous HIV testing on walk-in basis, Tuesdays, Wednesdays 1-4 pm, provided through NYSDOH. Thursdays 1-4 pm at Aenon Baptist Church, 175 Genesee St. Anthony L. Jordan Health Center Prevention & Primary Care Program Provides Medical Case Management, Mental Health, Primary Care, HIV Counceling and Testing using the Orasure Rapid Test, Education presentations, and access to other Jordan services. Prevention & Primary Care is a walk-in program; no appointments necessary. Office hours: Mon.– Fri., 8:30am– 5 pm: extended hours on Monday until 8 pm. (585) 423-2879; fax (585) 423-2876.

Website: www.jordanhealth.org. For more information, call Program Director Patrick M. Trevor, (585) 423-2879.

CDC National STD and AIDS Hotline 1-800-CDC-INFO (800-232-4636) 24 hours a day. TTY service: 1-888-232-6348. E-mail address: cdcinfo@cdc.gov.

Fair Housing Enforcement Project of Monroe County 585-325-2500; 1-800-669-9777. Deals with housing discrimination on basis of race, orientation, HIV status, etc.

Public Interest Law Office of Rochester 80 St. Paul St., Suite 701. Free legal services to HIV positive persons, families. Spanish bilingual advocates available. All civil cases except divorce; no criminal cases. Ask to speak to someone in PILOR. 454-4060.

Evergreen Health Services, Buffalo Primary care, HIV and family care, HIV testing and counseling. (716) 847-0328 Westside Health Services Brown Square Health Center, 175 Lyell Ave. (2546480); Woodward health Center, 480 Genesee St. (436-3040). HIV/AIDS services, support, more.

McCree McCuller Wellness Center at Unity Health's Connection Clinic (585) 368-3200. 89 Genesee St., Bishop Kearney Bldg., 3rd floor. Full range of servcies, regardless of ability to pay. Caring, confidential and convenient.

Catholic Charities AIDS Services A multicultural and bi-lingual staff providing services to a diversity of people infected and affected with HIV.Intensive home-based case management for all ages; a clinical crisis manager; a child/ adolescent case worker; transitional case management for children and family members going through bereavement; recreational and support groups for children and teens, and camping experiences including Camp SOAR. We coordinate HOPWA (Housing Opportunities for People with AIDS) short term emergency assistance with rent/ mortgage/utility payments and limited subsidized housing. 1945 E. Ridge Rd., Suite 24, Rochester NY 14622. (585) 339-9800.

Huther Doyle 360 East Ave., Rochester 14604. Offers drug, alcohol prevention, education, treatment. Risk Reduction Plus Team offers servcies to HIV positive and those at risk through substance use.

Programs include outreach, transitional case management, free cconfidential testing (OraQuick Rapid Testing). NYS Dep't. of Health offers free on-site confidential and anonymous testing.

(585)325-5100, M-F 8 am-9 pm, www.hutherdoyle.com.

Geneva Community Health 601 W. Washington St., Geneva. Provides HIV testing, HIV specialty and primary care for resi-

dents of Ontario and surrounding counties.

Mon.-Thurs. 9 am-5 pm; Fridays 9 am-noon.

315-781-8448.

family Rochester Gay Moms’ Group Support group for lesbian mommies and wannabe mommies in Rochester and surrounding areas. Subscribe: RochesterGayMoms-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.

Pride & Joy Families In Rochester, contact Karen Goulet, kgoulet@ PrideandJoyFamilies.org or 244-8640 x 40.

Gay Fathers Group Meets first and third Tuesday, 6:30-8:30pm, GAGV Community Center, 875 E. Main St. Lesbian & Gay Family Building Project Claudia E. Stallman, Project Director, Ferre Institute, Inc. 124 Front St., Binghampton, NY 13905, Phone: (607) 724-4308; Fax: (607) 724-8290; E-mail: LesGayFamBldg@aol.com: Web: www.PrideAndJoyFamilies.org Families Joined by Love Books and resources for LGBT families. www.familiesjoinedebylove.org.

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) PFLAG’s threefold mission: supporting parents and family members in coming out process; educating the community; advocating on behalf of LGBT family members. Regular meetings open to family members, friends: first Tuesday potluck supper, 6-8 pm, St. Thomas Episcopal Church, corner Winton and Highland; third Sunday support and business meeting, 2-4 pm, Nopper Room, fifth floor, Auditorium Center, 875 E. Main St. PFLAG@gagv.us; 585244-8640 x27.

Gay health

Monroe Co. Dept. of Health STD Clinic Phone: (585) 464-5928 Monroe Com. Coll. Student Health Services Phone: (585) 292-2018 (MCC Students only) Hobart & William Smith Health Services Phone: (315) 781-3600 Rochester Colon & Rectal Surgeons Phone: (585) 244-5670 Rochester Institute of Technology Student Health Services Phone: (585) 475-2255 (RIT Students only) Threshold Center for Alternative Youth Services Provides confidential HIV, STD testing, general heath care. Sliding fee scale; no one denied. 145 Parsells Ave.: Mon./Weds. and Fri. 9-5; Tues./ Thurs. 9-7; Sat. 10 am-2 pm. www.ThresholdCenter.org; Phone: (585) 454-7530 (serving ages 12-25) Women Gynecology & Childbirth Associates, P.C. Phone: (585) 244-3430 (Main Office) Gay Health list compiled by AIDS Rochester, Inc. Further information on this list and related gay health topics available at http://www.aidsrochester.org/gayhealth This list is under construction. If you are a provider, or know of one who would like to be included in this directory, please call Erik Libey at 4422220 for more information.

Women HEALTH:

Highland Hospital Breast Imaging Center 500 Red Creek Drive, Rochester 14623; 585487-3300. Specializing in breast health, diagnostic breast imaging and treatment and mammography outreach and education.

Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester 840 University Ave.; 585-473-8177; www.bccr. org; email: info@bccr.org. Breast Cancer Coalition provides support services that include Brown Bag Fridays: an informal discussion group that meets weekly from 12:00-1:30; Breast Cancer 101 and 201: programs designed to help those coping with a recent breast cancer diagnosis and

those coping with an advanced breast cancer diagnosis; Sister Sak: a program that addresses the issues facing young women with breast cancer; and the Advanced Breast Cancer Support Group to support women living with metastatic breast cancer. The Breast Cancer Coalition also provides information about breast cancer, a lending library, and a monthly educational program.

All BCCR programs and support services are free.

Monroe County Women’s Health Partnership 111 Westfall Rd., Rochester NY 14692; (585)274-6978. Comprehensive breast cancer screening services for uninsured and underinsured women.

Elizabeth Wende Breast Clinic 170 Sawgrass Drive. 442-8432. Dr. Wende Logan-Young and an all-woman staff provide mammograms.

SHARE: Self Help for Women with Breast or Ovarian Cancer NYS Hotline: 1-866-53SHARE or 1-866-5374273.

AIDS Rochester Women’s Health Outreach 259 Monroe Ave. ARI has services for HIV positive women and others in the lesbian community. 442-2220.

AIDS Community Health Clinic 259 Monroe Ave. 244-9000; TTY (585)4619202. HIV and Primary care medical services for HIV positive women, their negative partners and family members. OB/GYN, HIV pre-test and posttest counseling. Confidential or free HIV testing.

Alternatives for Battered Women 232-7353; TTY 232-1741. Shelter (women only), counseling. Lesbians, gay men welcome.

GAGV Anti Violence Project 585-244-8640 ext 17. For women and men.

Victim Resource Center of Wayne County Newark N.Y. Hotline 800-456-1172; office (315)331-1171; fax (315)331-1189.

Mary Magdalene House Women's outreach center for HIV positive women and women at risk. 291 Lyell Ave. Open Mon-Fri. 6:30-9:30 pm 458-5728.

Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Tollfree Helpline: 1-866-600-6886. Planned Parenthood has led the way in providing high quality, affordable reproductive health care since 1916.

Our experienced and compassionate medical staff will listen to your concerns and answer your questions in a warm, welcoming atmosphere. All our services are confidential. We accept most insurances; including Medicaid. You may even qualify for low- to no-cost family planning services. When you make your appointment, be sure to ask about our sliding scale fees. No one is turned away for lack of ability to pay.

POLITICAL:

National Organization for Women (Greater Rochester NOW) PO Box 93196; (585)234-7019. E-mail: info@ rochesternow.org Web page: http://www.rochesternow.org.

CULTURAL:

Rochester Women’s Community Chorus 234-4441. (See Ongoing calendar).

ONLINE:

RochesterDykes: www.rdykes.com; e-mail sabrinabeach@yahoo.com WOWcny: e-mail: WOWcny@aol.com Rochester NY Lesbians; groups.aol.com/rochstrlesbians

GENERAL:

Women’s Resource Center YWCA, 175 N. Clinton Ave. 546-7740.

Color Outside the Line Crew Contact Jackie Williams, 482-4945.

Check our monthly and ongoing Calendars and the Gay Groups section for more woman-centered groups and events, and call the GaySource Infoline for referrals, at 244-8640 or see www.gayalliance.org. And send us your information! ■

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February 2010 • number 431 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Groups Dignity Integrity Dignity Integrity will meet Sunday, Feb. 7 for an Episcopal Eucharist with music; Sunday, Feb. 14, for a Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word; Sunday, Feb. 21 for a Quiet Episcopal Eucharist and Sunday, Feb. 28 for Prayers to Start the Week, followed by a Lenten potluck soup and bread supper.

Other items: Longtime DI Chaplain Michael Nicosia left Rochester at the end of January to join his partner in Denver. We wish him all the best, and we are very appreciative of the many years of service he has provided.

DI also welcomes Rev. Carolyn Lumbard as our new chaplain.

DI will be doing a Lenten program based on the DVD series “Jesus and the Gospels.”

DI plans on doing a game night in the future. Check the web site for more information: www.di-rochester.org.

Empire Bears The Empire Bears continue to host BEARnight at the Forum every first Saturday. See you there on Feb. 6 for Red Bear night. Shirts, hats, hankys, long johns, if it’s red, it’s a go.

On second Saturdays, you can always find the Bears at the GAGV Youth Center at our monthly potluck. It starts at 6:30. Bring a dish, and we provide the rest.

On Feb. 13, the theme is vegetarian dishes. We’ve got plans for a Sunday afternoon party at the Forum on Feb. 21. We’re calling it the club’s 14th anniversary. We’re also planning a game night at a member’s home, a brunch, and other events.

Some members will be attending a Binghamton Bear Run the weekend of Feb. 19-21. We’ve also got contingents going to the Jones Pond and Hillside reunions. Every Wednesday night at 6, you will find us listening to our favorite waitress, Becky, as she serves up good food and bad jokes at The Wintonaire, on Winton near Atlantic.

Check us out at www.empirebears. org. Woof!

Pride & Joy Families Pride & Joy Families plans a Rochester event for Feb. 27.

From 3-5 p.m. the group will host a “That’s a Family!” screening with a hot cocoa reception and discussion at the Gay Alliance Youth Center (first floor, use Prince St. entrance), 875 E. Main St. Bring the whole family and your favorite mugs for hot cocoa and a viewing of “That’s A Family!”, a fun documentary in which children take us through their lives as they speak about what it’s like to grow up in a family with parents of different races or religions, divorced parents, a single parent, gay or lesbian parents, adoptive parents or grandparents as guardians. (Don’t worry if you forget your favorite mug -- we’ll be happy to let you use one of ours!)

Please RSVP to PrideAndJoyRochester@yahoogroups.com or Karen Goulet at kgoulet@prideandjoyfamilies.org or 585-244-8640 ext. 40, or 607-724-4308 (option 3).

Rainbow SAGE of the Genesee Valley

By Tony Perri Welcome to a New Year! Rainbow SAGE (Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders) of the Genesee Valley would like to invite the community to join us in our planned activities for this year.

Our monthly potluck, now called

“Third Sunday Potluck,” is held every third Sunday of the month (except July and August) at the First Universalist Church of Rochester, 150 Clinton, at 4 p.m. A short program usually begins the potluck and a good time is had by everyone. We hope to see you there.

Our annual Intergenerational Panel will be held on March 21, in the GAGV Youth Center. It is a great venue to bring our youth and elder community together. The theme this year is self acceptance. Please plan to attend.

A Euchre Tournament will be held May 23. More details will follow but get this on your calendar.

For more information on RSGV, please give us a call at 585-325-1640.

Leave a message and someone will get back to you. Also visit us at our website, rainbowseniorswny.org.

Have a great 2010!

Give our web site a visit at www. theRGMC.org and find out how you can be part of Rochester’s “Voice of Pride!”

Second Thursdays Second Thursdays Social and Business Networking Cocktail Party is an informal party for those who miss the former Business Forum.

We had a wonderful gathering in January at the Airport Marriott, where 60 gay men and lesbians met for conversation and delicious appetizers. Visitors came from Medina, Corning and New Hampshire, along with the rest

from the Rochester area.

You are cordially invited to join us every Second Thursday of each month at rotating locations. On Thursday, Feb. 11, we will meet from 5:30-7:30 p.m. at the Woodcliff Inn, near EastView Mall; on Thursday, March 11 at the RIT Radisson and then on Thursday, April 8 at The Inn on Broadway.

There are no dues and no cover charge, just casual conversation. However, we may have a 50/50 raffle and drawings for other prizes.

Updated information can be found with Out and Equal NY Finger Lakes and Facebook; also by contacting thomaso510@mac.com. ■

Rochester Rams toy drive a success!

By Russ S. The Rochester RAMS Motorcycle Club conducted their annual Christmas Toy Drive at the Bachelor Forum during their monthly Barnight on Nov. 21.

This yearly event again made the holidays brighter for the families at Roosevelt Children’s Center, a division of Wayne ARC in Newark, NY. The Rams began this tradition in the early 1990s and originally donated the toys through the Marine Reserve’s “Toys for Tots” program. Rich Richards, who belonged to the Rams and worked as a teacher of the visually impaired at the Roosevelt Children’s Center, had told the club of the needs of the families served by the center and mentioned that they seldom receive donations from the major holiday drives in the region. As a result the club began donating the collected toys and money directly to the center some 10 years ago.

Rich passed away in 2002 and the Rams have continued providing holiday donations to Roosevelt Children’s Center in his memory since then. This year the center will be able to provide for dozens of families using the donations, which total well over $3,000 in toys, books, games, bikes and even a computer from the club.

The Rams also made monetary donations of over $770 during 2009, which will help many families receiving services from Roosevelt with food, clothing and gifts for older siblings this holiday season. The Rams are most grateful to the Rochester community for their wonderful support and especially to Forum owner Peter Mohr, a Newark native himself, for his continuing support of the Rochester Rams as they celebrate 35 years of Brotherhood in 2010.

Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus Happy New Year to all, from The Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus!

Our March 20 concert, “Gettin’ Lucky”, will explore our unending quest for romance -- from first kiss to making love last. Everyone should “get lucky” around St. Patrick’s Day! The concert will also feature the Rochettes, dancing through this theme of love, love, love!

We are in dire need of seamstresses to come aboard shortly for our upcoming June show, “U.S.S Metaphor.” Anyone interested? Please call the RGMC office at 585-423-0650. We’ll also be auditioning a few new singers for this show. More information will soon follow.

Save the Date: “Anything Goes” Spring Gala, Sunday, May 2, 4-8 p.m.

Highland Contractors is a local business located off of Meigs Street that is big on quality, always returns phones calls, offers fair and competitive pricing, is fully insured and is a member of the Better Business Bureau. Please call us for your free estimate on the following: • New Roofs-Roof Repairs • • Siding • • Painting- Interior and Exterior • • Windows • • Furnace Installation • Check out our website: www.highlandcontractors.net 585.507.3658 phil@highlandcontractors.net

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 431 • February 2010

February MONDAY 1

Candlemas, Imbolc. Ancient Celtic Cross-Quarter Festival of light, through Feb. 2. Tree: rowan (mountain ash).

TUESDAY 2

PFLAG program: “Transgender Issues and Parenting”. 7-9 pm. Discussing gender identity and expression with personal stories of transgender experience, looking at the impact “transitioning” has on individuals, families and relationships. Will explore resources available. St. Thomas Episcopal Church, 2000 Highland Ave. at Winton. 244-8640 ext 27.

SATURDAY 6

Ganondagan Winter Games. Discover the Seneca ways of winter at the historic site outside Victor. Dog sledding demos, crafts demos including maple sugaring and toboggan making, Snow Snake games, snowshoe racing and native foods. www.ganondagan.org.

National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. “HIV/AIDS Prevention: a Choice and a Lifestyle.” Entertainment/ education, 4-6 pm, Apollo Room, Auditorium Center, 875 E. Main St. For information call Michael Booth, 420-1400 x 19 (MOCHA Center).

Empire Bears Red Bear Night. Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. www. empirebears.org.

Red Ball: Community Valentine’s Dance. “Celebrating Community, Love and Friendship”. 7-11 pm, Cathedral Hall, Auditorium Center, 875 E. Main St. DJ Chuck Argento. Light refreshments, desserts. All ages welcome. Gift basket raffle, auction. Wear red to win prizes. Dance admission: $7. Additional fee for Wine and Chocolate Tasting: $5. Tickets at Outlandish, Equal=Grounds; online at www.gayalliance.org.

SUNDAY 7

Satellite Sunday. GAGV Youth meet this month with Rush-Henrietta youth at Lovin’ Cup in Henrietta. Group runs 2-4 p.m. Youth Program members can catch a ride on the AIDS Care Van, leaving GAGV Youth Center at 1:15 p.m. sharp!

E-mail Jess at JessC@gayalliance.org for more information, or to reserve your seat.

Dignity Integrity Episcopal Eucharist with music. 5 pm, St. Luke St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. www. di-rochester.org; 234-5092.

MONDAY 8

Freedom to Marry Week Youth Valentine Dance, 5-9 pm, Muthers, 40 S. Union. DJ, pizza, soda, youth drag show. HIV testing. $5. 2448640 x 13.

TUESDAY 9

“Preachers’ Sons”. Free screening of film, panel discussion at First Universalist Church, 150 S. Clinton Ave. 7 pm. tplank@prideagenda.org; 271-2420.

THURSDAY 11

GAGV Queer College Tour. SUNY Geneseo. Ongoing tours give students the opportunity to learn about college climates and the possibilities of a college education. For information, e-mail Jess at jessc@gayalliance.org.

Second Thursdays Social & Business Networking. 5:30-7:30 pm, The Woodcliff Inn near Eastview Mall. Information: Thomaso510@mac.com.

WEDNESDAY 10

Inqueery: Coming Out: Toward an Understanding of Self Identity. 6:308:30 pm, facilitator: Scott Fearing. GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance (first floor). 244-8640.

FRIDAY 12

Susan B. Anthony House luncheon, Noon, Rochester Riverside Convention Center. Professional one-act drama about the fight for women’s vote. See www.

Susanbanthonyhouse.org.

V-Day 2010. Opening reception and

auction of new work by Alicia Ross, to benefit education about and prevention of violence against women and girls. 7-9 pm, Rochester Contemporary Art Center, 137 East Ave. $1 admission. Sponsored by Rape Crisis Center and Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/Syracuse Region.

Exhibit runs through March 21.

SATURDAY 13

Free mammograms for women 40 and over without insurance. Free reiki, refreshments. 8 am-noon, Highland Breast Imaging Center, 500 Red Creek Drive, Suite 300. 487-3300.

Empire Bears potluck. Vegetarian foods. 6:30 pm, GAGV Youth Center, first floor, 875 E. Main St. www.empirebears.org

SUNDAY 14

Valentines Day Dignity Integrity Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word. 5 pm, St. Luke St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. www.di-rochester.org; 234-5092.

MONDAY 15

Empty Closet deadline for March issue. 244-9030; susanj@gayalliance.org.

THURSDAY 18

Inqueery; Homophobia: More Than Name Calling. 6:30-8:30 pm, facilitator Scott Fearing. GAGV Community Room, Auditorium Center, 875 E. Main St., Prince St. entrance, first floor. 2448640.

FRIDAY 19

Binghamton Bear Run, weekend of Feb. 19-21.

TUESDAY 20

LGBT Rights Conference at RIT sponsored by Civil Rights Front. Public welcome. http://civilrightsfront.wordpress. com

SUNDAY 21

Dignity Integrity Quiet Episcopal Eucharist. 5 pm, St. Luke St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. www. di-rochester.org; 234-5092.

Who Was This Man? A State of the Re:Union Special, 10 p.m. on AM1370/ FM-HD91.5-2. Bayard Rustin counseled Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. on the use of non-violent resistance, and helped to engineer the March on Washington and frame the Montgomery bus boycott. Yet many have never heard of him. Why? He was gay.

Empire Bears 14th anniversary party, afternoon at Bachelor Forum. www.empirebears.org.

TUESDAY 23

Marriage Equality Lobby Day, Albany. Join Rochester and NYS activists speaking up for our civil rights. For info, contact Equality ROC, 426-0862.

WEDNESDAY 24

Inqueery: BDSM: A Guide for Lay People, Well-wishers and Newbies.

6:30-8:30 pm, facilitator Laura McSpadden. GAGV Youth Center, 244-8640.

SATURDAY 27

Pride & Joy Families film screening of “That’s a Family!” from 3-5 p.m. with hot cocoa reception, discussion. Gay Alliance Youth Center (first floor, Prince St. entrance), 875 E. Main St. RSVP to PrideAndJoyRochester@yahoogroups.com or Karen Goulet at kgoulet@prideandjoyfamilies.org or 585-244-8640 ext. 40, or 607-724-4308 (option 3).

Activist skill-building workshop.

Downtown United Presbyterian Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh St., 6-8 p.m. Call Todd Plank at 585-271-2420; tplank@prideagenda.org.

SUNDAY 28

Dignity Integrity Prayers to Start the Week, followed by a Lenten potluck soup and bread supper. 5 pm, St. Luke St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. www.di-rochester.org; 234-5092.

MARCH MONDAY 1

Inqueery: The Celluloid Closet.

Screening and discussion. 6:30-8:30 pm, facilitator Kelly Clark. GAGV Youth Center. 244-8640. ■

Classifieds Classified ads are $5 for the first 30 words; each additional 10 words is another $1. We do not bill for classifieds, so please send or bring ad and payment to: The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14605. Paying by check: checks must be made out to Gay Alliance or GAGV. The deadline is the 15th of the month, for the following month’s issue. We cannot accept ads over the phone. Pay when you place your ad. We will accept only ads accompanied by name and phone number. Neither will be published, but we must be able to confirm placement. The Empty Closet is not responsible for financial loss or physical injury that may result from any contact with an advertiser.

Advertisers must use their own box number, voice mail, e-mail or personal address/phone number.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Empty Closet seeks proofreaders. If you have professional proofreading skills and can give a minimum of two hours per month to volunteering, please call Susan at 244-9030.

Urgent! Three litter trained indoor cats need good home. Their owner’s recent death has left these kitties in danger. If you can adopt one or more, or even offer temporary shelter, please call The Empty Closet at 244-9030.

SERVICES

Happy Valentines Day! Show your best friend, lover or partner how much you care about their comfort with a relaxing body rub from me! I’m a fit, friendly, healthy Italian GM. My 10 years plus experience ensures your relaxation and satisfaction. Hotel out calls or central location in calls. Reasonable rates, discretion assured. Don’t delay, call me today at 585-235-6688 or e-mail me at muscleloverman@rochester.rr.com.

W. Shawn Cignarale, Interior Designer. Specialties include refinishing hardwood floors, painting, wallpaper-

ing, woodwork and ceramic tiles. Other services include designing silk and fresh floral arrangements. E-mail me at mysticalinterior@yahoo.com for price quotes.

Martin Ippolito, master electrician.

Electrical work, phone jacks, cable TV, burglar alarm systems, paddle fans. Call 585-266-6337.

Body rub. If you have tried the rest, now try the best. Very discreet. Reasonable rate. (585) 698-8157.

PERSONALS

WGF looking for WGF. Must like dogs and cats. I like outdoors, camping, being near water. I like to watch DVDs, go to movies, go to tractor pulls, car races, wrestling, social drinking, no drugs. Looking for ages from 38 to 70.

I am heavyset, looking for someone who doesn’t mind small or big. I do smoke cigarettes. If you want to respond, call JC, 315-651-4002.

FOR SALE

Malibu outdoor lights. 50-foot string of four. Brand new, never unboxed. $79 value for $65. 385-7931.

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February 2010 • number 431 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Ongoing Calendar Monday LGBT Support Group 34 Meigs St. First, 3rd Mondays, 7:30-9 pm.

Carol, 482-3832.

Lilac Squares Gay Square Dance Group Mondays, 7 pm, Open Arms MCC, 740 Marshall Rd. 520-5358; mfleig@rochester.rr.com.

Free syphilis testing AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave., 5-8 pm. 4422220.

Rochester Historical Bowling Society 7:15pm, Mondays. Clover Lanes, 2750 Monroe Ave. (Group is full.)

HIV Positive Gay Men Support group Every Monday, 5pm, AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. GAGV Youth Drop-In Hours Mondays, Wednesdays, 2-6pm, GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, first floor. 244-8640, ext 13.

Frontrunners/Frontwalkers Mondays, 6pm, George Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org.

Steps Beyond Stems Crack Support Group Mondays, 7-8pm, 289 Monroe Ave.

Tuesday Atlantic Five 0 Gay men 50 and over. Second Tuesdays, 7pm, GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main St., first floor, Prince St. entrance. 223-2629.

Civil Rights Front Every Tuesday, 7 pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. http://www.civilrightsfront. wordpress.com Two Spirit Group Second Tuesdays, 7:30 pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. PFLAG potluck First Tuesdays. 6: dinner; 6:30: meeting. St. Thomas Church, Winton & Highland.

CampusOut Coffee Night First Tuesdays, 7-10 pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. MOCHA Youth Drop-In Tues.-Fri., 1-9pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way, 420-1400; 244-8640 MOCHA Hepatitis Clinic Free Hepatitis A & B vaccinations, third Tuesdays, 5:30-7pm, 107 Liberty Pole Way, 420-1400 Rainbow SAGE Yoga 6-7pm Open Arms MCC, 125 Norris Drive, 442-6369.

Pride 2010 committee meeting Third Tuesdays. GAGV Community Room, first floor, 875 E. Main St. 6:30-8 pm. Everyone welcome to plan Pride 2010 (July 11-18). 244-8640.

Women’s Community Chorus Rehearsals each Tuesday, 6:30-9pm, Downtown United Pres. Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh St. 234-4441, www.therwcc.org IMPACT Team Second Tuesdays, Downtown Presbyterian Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh St. 6:30 pm.

Call Todd Plank, 271-2420.

Free HIV Testing Every Tuesday, 9 am-7 pm. AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave.

Wednesday Tawa Pano Church Bible Study Bible study 7:15 pm. 758 South Ave. Charlie’s Group Third Wednesdays. Monthly peer-facilitated suppport group for married men who have sex with men. Confidential, free. 6:30 pm.

For location, info: Scott, 244-8640 x 20; ScottF@gagv.us.

Country Line Dancing/Two Stepping Every Wednesday, Muthers, 40 S. Union, 7

pm, Lessons followed by dancing until 10pm, Beginners to advanced.

Gay Alliance Board of Directors Meets Third Wednesdays, 6 pm, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640 New Freedom New Happiness AA Gay meeting, 7 pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd. Men and women. Open.

Equality ROC Second, fourth Wednesdays, 7 pm. For location, info, call Anne, 426-0862.

Support Group for Parents Who Have Lost Children First, 3rd Wednesdays, 11am-12:30pm, Third Presbyterian Church, 4 Meigs St. Genesee Region Home Care. Free. 325-1880 COAP Come Out and Play. Business meeting last Wednesday. Equal Grounds Coffee Shop, 750 South Ave. 7pm, John S., 261-7263.

Empire Bears First Wednesdays, 7:45 pm, GAGV Community Center, 875 E. Main St., fifth floor. info@empirebears.org Rochester Rams General Meeting 2nd Wednesdays, 7:30 pm, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. www.rochesterrams.com Transgender Group Third Wednesdays, 6:30-9pm, Downtown United Pres. Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh St. Multicom-4 Coffee Talk 7pm, Spin Café, 739 Park Av. Social for former Multicom-4 BBS members; other glbt cyber geeks welcome, every fourth Wednesday, 8pm Brothers Keeper Support group for men over 30. Third Wednesdays, 5:30-7:30pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way. 420-1400 GAGV Youth Drop In Hours Mondays, Wednesdays, 3-7 pm, GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, first floor. 244-8640 ext 13.

Married Men’s Support Group Third Wednesdays, 6:30-8 pm. 875 E. Main. Follow signs for “Charlie’s Group”.

Scott, 585-244-8640 ext 20.

Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 6pm, Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org.

GAGV Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center Every Wednesday. 6-8 pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640.

Thursday Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns 6:30pm, first Thursday. Ralph, 271-7649 Queer Radical Reading Group First and third Thursdays, 7 pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. Pride at Work First Thursdays, 5:30pm. 167 Flanders St. off Thurston Rd. 426-0862.

GLOB&L (Gays and Lesbians of Bausch & Lomb).

Meets every third Thursday in Area 67 conference room at the Optic Center.

Voice mail: 338-8977 Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus Downtown United Presbyterian Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh St. 6:30-9pm, 423-0650 Free confidential walk-in HIV testing Every Thursday night, 5-8pm, AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. 442-2220 Partner Bereavement Group First and third Thursdays, 5:30-7pm. Open drop-in session; professionally led. Freewill donation to hospice requested. Lifetime Care, 3111 Winton Road, 214-1414 MOCHA/GAGV Youth Trans Group First Thursdays, 5-7pm, GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main St., first floor (Prince St. entrance). 244-8640 ext 13.

Catholic Gay & Lesbian Family Ministry Third Thursday, 7-9pm, School of Good Shepherd Church, 3288 E. Henrietta Rd. 392-2862.

AQA Support group for transgender people of color. Third Thursdays, 5:30-7pm, MOCHA, 107 Liberty Pole Way. 420-1400.

Second Thursdays Social and business networking, 5:30-7:30 pm. Changing venues. E-mail thomaso510@ mac.com for information.

Gay & Lesbian Cancer Support Group Second Thursdays, 6-7:30 p.m., Gilda’s Clubhouse, 255 Alexander St. RSVP: 4239700; info@gildasclubrochester.org

FRIDAY Gay Men's AA meeting Fridays, 7:30-8:30pm, Closed meeting.

Emmanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. GLBTQI Motorcycle Group Second Fridays, 5:30 pm, Various locations.

RochesterGLBTIQbikers@yahoo.com; 4781565; bmdaniels@frontiernet.net.

SATURDAY Rochester Rams Bar Night Third Saturdays, 8pm-2am, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. 271-6930 Empire Bears Bar Night First Saturdays. Bachelor Forum, 470 University Ave. www.empirebears.org.

Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 9 am, George Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org.

Empire Bears Potluck 2nd Saturdays, GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main, first floor, Prince St. entrance.

6:30pm greet; 7pm dinner. Bring dish to pass. www.empirebears.org.

Cross Dresser Support Group First Saturdays, 6-9pm, call for location: 251-2132; RCDNET@hotmail.com

Transgender Group Last Saturdays, 2-5pm, Downtown United Presbyterian Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh.

Guys Night Out Third Saturdays. Social group for transguys.

1 pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. tguysnightout@gmail.com.

Saturday Night Special Gay AA 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd. S. Men and women. Open meeting.

Lilac Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf (LRAD) Second Saturdays, 6-9pm. rcoaster@rochester.rr.com

Sunday Parents Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) Third Sundays, 2-4 pm. Nopper Room, Gay Alliance, fifth floor, 875 E. Main St. PFLAG@gayalliance.org.

Tawa Pano Unity Fellowship Church Sundays, 10am, 758 South Ave. 617-4279 Dignity-Integrity 5pm, St. Luke’s/St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Every Sunday, 234-5092 Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church 740 Marshall Rd., Chili, 10:30am. 271-8478 Gay Men’s Alcoholics Anonymous St. Luke’s/St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. 8:30pm, 232-6720, Weekly. Closed meeting GAGV Youth Group Ages 13-23. Every Sunday, 2-4pm, GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. or satellite location. For weekly location check Youth Calendar, www.gayalliance.org or e-mail Jess at JessC@gagv.us.

Rainbow SAGE First Sundays: Euchre Club, 3-6pm. Third Sundays, Potluck at First Universalist Church, 150 S. Clinton Ave., 4pm.

Men’s Cooking Group Third or fourth Sundays, 355-7664. ■

AA Meetings in Rochester

Every week there are four regularly scheduled GLBTI AA meetings in Rochester.

Wednesdays

New Freedom/New Happiness Group

7 p.m. at the First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: Take the last #18 University bus to 12 Corners. Use the stop just past the top of the hill at Hillside Ave. and before Highland Ave. Or take the #1 Park Ave. to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton. This is an open discussion meeting. All issues – as they relate to our alcoholism/addiction and recovery – are fair game.

Fridays Gay Men’s

7:30 p.m. Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. • Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • Handicapped accessible This is a round-robin discussion meeting. If you are shy about meeting people or speaking up in a group, you will find this meeting particularly warm and inviting because everyone gets their turn to speak (or pass). As a result, this meeting often runs long, so plan on more than the usual hour.

Saturdays

Saturday Night Special

7 p.m. at the First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: The #18 University Ave. bus does not go by the church on weekend evenings. Take the #1 Park Ave. bus to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton.

• Open meeting, all are welcome, “straight-friendly” • Mixed men and women • Handicapped accessible, take the elevator to the basement Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

Sundays

Rochester Gay Men

8 p.m. at St. Luke/St. Simon’s Episcopal Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Bus riders use the Fitzhugh St. stop on Main St. at the County Office Building and walk south one block.

• Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • NOT handicapped accessible Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 431 • February 2010