Empty Closet, Sept 2010 Sec B

The Empty Closet number 438

Section B

Arts, Entertainment & Community

a publication of the gay alliance of the genesee valley

september 2010

“Boys in the Band” is still relevant today: a review

“Stonewall Uprising” opens at The Little Sept. 24 The Little Theatre will bring the documentary “Stonewall Uprising” to Rochester beginning Friday, Sept. 24. The film is about the June 28, 1969 police raid on a Greenwich Village Mafia-run gay bar, The Stonewall Inn, that kicked off the national gay liberation movement.

“It was the Rosa Parks moment,” says one man. For the first time, patrons refused to be led into paddy wagons, setting off a three-day riot. At the time of the riots, homosexuality was illegal in every state except Illinois. Before the laws were changed, one commentator observes, gay bars offered the same kind of social haven for an oppressed minority as black

churches in the South before the civil rights movement.

Told by Stonewall patrons, reporters and the cop who led the raid, “Stonewall Uprising” recalls the bad old days when psychoanalysts equated homosexuality with mental illness and advised aversion therapy, and even lobotomies; public service announcements warned youngsters against predatory homosexuals and police entrapment was rampant. At the height of this oppression, the cops raid Stonewall, triggering nights of pandemonium with tear gas, billy clubs and a small army of tactical police. The rest is history.

A treasure-trove of archival footage gives life to an alltoo-recent reality, such as when Mike Wallace announced on an episode of CBS Reports in 1966, “The average homosexual, if there be such, is promiscuous.

(Stonewall continues page 2)

Zachary Reeb as Nijinsky

“Nijinsky’s Last Dance” returns as benefit for GAGV Bread & Water Theatre is staging an encore production of “Nijinsky’s Last Dance, “with all proceeds to benefit the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley.

“Nijinsky’s Last Dance” by Norman Allen will be presented at 243 Rosedale St. (corner of Monroe Ave. and Rosedale St.) on Sept. 17 only.

The performance is at 8 p.m.

Single tickets range from $6-$12 and may be purchased in person or at BreadandWaterTheatre.org. For more information, call (585)271-5523.

The play focuses on the rise and fall of the great ballet dancer who “holds such sway and power over the audience that you feel you are basking in the heart and soul of Nijinsky. In less than

90 minutes, you not only forget yourself, you leave yourself.”

--Jayne Blanchard, The Washington Times.

Nijinsky was born in Kiev, Ukraine to Polish parents while both were on tour performing ballet. He quickly took to dance; his sister Bronislava became an accomplished choreographer. A major turning point in Nijinsky’s life occurred when he met Sergei Diaghilev, a celebrated producer of ballet and opera.

Together they would create the most innovative ballets of the 20th century and for a time become lovers. Their work was both applauded and controversial for its focus on the male ballet dancer, rare for its time, and noteworthy for evoking images of raw human sexuality. In 1912, Nijinsky’s work in “L’après-midi d’un faune (The Afternoon of a (Nijinsky continues page 2)

From “Kick Off,” one of two films at ImageOut Fair; screening at 9 p.m. on Sept. 10.

From “Loving Annabelle,” screening at 7 p.m.

photo: Laura McSpadden

From “Stonewall Uprising”

By Laura McSpadden 1968: Matt Crowley’s play “The Boys in the Band,” one of the first American plays based upon the lives and experiences of gay characters, premiers offBroadway on April 14. It ran for over 1000 performances.

1970: “The Boys in the Band” film adaptation is released on March 17, becoming the first off-Broadway production with all gay characters to go on to become a film.

2010: “The Boys in the Band” makes its Rochester premier at the Multi-use Community Cultural Center (MuCCC) as a part of the “John W. Borek Presents” series of performances, making it the emotionally-charged sequel to the 2010 Pride events.

The performances ran on Aug. 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8. The play was directed by Michael Arve and produced by Allan O’Grady Cuseo. The proceeds from the Aug. 4 performance were generously donated to the Gay Alliance.

Get ImageOut info at Festival Fair

ImageOut, Upstate New York’s longest running lesbian and gay film and video festival, will hold its 18th annual program lineup at the Festival Fair on Sept. 10.

This is the first chance for Cast members of “The Boys the public to learn about this in the Band” year’s exciting Festival lineup and buy tickets prior to online The play was groundbreaksales. The Fair is at the Roching for acknowledging, and then ester Museum and Science Centranscending, stereotypes about ter’s Eisenhart Auditorium and gay men through a plot that Strasenburgh Planetarium, 657 focused on the American gay East Ave. This event is free and community in 1960s New York open to the public. (A start City. The play itself is set in time for doors opening will be pre-Stonewall Manhattan at the announced shortly; see below.) birthday party of one of the The Festival Fair offers the main characters, Harold (played first look at this year’s program,

by Peter Elliott), a highly intelthe opportunity to purchase ligent and deeply cynical inditickets to the movies you want vidual with insecurities about his before they sell out, sneak peeks appearance and a penchant for of upcoming Festival film trailsmoking marijuana. ers, and the screening of two Other characters include films, “Kick Off” at 9 p.m. and Michael (Stephen Cena), the “Loving Annabelle” at 7 p.m. host of the party, who is an (See the ad on page B 4) unemployed, guilt-ridden, Festival Fair also offers the drowning-in-debt, newly-sober community the opportunity to Georgetown grad; Donald (Jason interact with ImageOut com(Boys continues page 2) mittee members in programming, outreach, theatre operations and membership; committee members will be available at the Festival Fair to answer questions.

ImageOut depends on volunteers for its ongoing success.

The fair provides an opportunity to learn about what the committees do and find out how you can help. There is still time to be a ART AT EQUAL=GROUNDS: Artist Sean Dyroff part of this year’s says, “‘The Beginning’ is an exhibition of Festival. cyanotypes inspired by the first moment of the birth of light. The images are created to The ImageOut explore the beginning moments of the unifestival, which runs verse or the beginning moments of life, when from Oct. 8 to the absence and presence of light define Oct. 17, will feaexperience.” Equal =Grounds Coffeehouse is located at 750 South Ave. ture over 90 films

shown in five venues in Rochester (The Little, Dryden Theatre at George Eastman House, The Cinema, R.I.T. and University of Rochester).

With annual average attendance of over 10,000 people, ImageOut continues to draw diverse audiences from the upstate New York region and beyond.

ImageOut remains committed to keeping the Festival accessible. “The Board made a commitment not to increase ticket prices in this challenging economic environment, and for the fourth year in a row we have been able to do that,” said Paul Allen, co-chair of the Board of Directors. Single ticket prices will range from $6 to $15.

ImageOut Fast Facts Friday, Sept. 3: Submission deadline for ImageArt Friday, Sept. 10: Festival Fair; first chance to purchase tickets Thursday, Sept. 16*: Online ticket sales begin Friday, Oct. 1: ImageArt Opening, Poetry Reading and Postcard Show and Sale, Visual Studies Workshop Thursday, Oct. 7: Online Ticket Sales End Friday, Oct. 8 - Sunday, Oct. 17: 18th Annual ImageOut Film and Video Festival *There will be four in-person sale dates during September; dates to be announced.

Keep up with the latest on ImageOut: ImageOut on the Web at www.ImageOut.org Blog at http://imageout. blogspot.com/ Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/ImageOut Facebook: ImageOut: The Rochester Lesbian & Gay Film & Video Festival’s Wall ImageOut is made possible with public funds from the New York State Council on the Arts, celebrating 50 years of building strong, creative communities in New York State’s 62 counties. ■

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 438 • september 2010

(Boys from page 1) Juliano), his snarky and well-read friend; Bernard (Lawrence Brewley), an African American man who still struggles with his feelings for his childhood crush; Hank (Joe Fox-Boyd), who is monogamy-minded and recently divorced; Larry (Andrew Theede), Hank’s lover, who favors honest polygamy over forced monogamy; Emory (Paul Johnstone), the flaming spa-dweller with a particular fondness for alliteration; Cowboy (Dustin Hilton), a dumber-thandirt prostitute who is Emory’s birthday present for Harold and Allen (Chip Brown), an unhappy and deeply closeted old college chum of Michael’s.

Through the course of the play, the audience is taken on an emotional rollercoaster of laughs, outrage and (in the eyes of more than a few attendees) tears. Lies are told, friendships are questioned, truths are uncovered and blood is spilt throughout the course of the play’s two acts. The performances were top-notch, proving the play to be pertinent and accessible despite all that has changed in America since it was written in 1968.

Peter Elliott’s performance was rousingly on-target. Whether delivering his lines with mirth or vitriol, his timing and delivery were dead-on perfect — a mere raising of his eyebrows was enough to bring the audience to fits of laughter.

An equally rousing performance was that of Stephen Cena. As the play progresses and the party dissolves into antagonistic chaos, his character eschews sobriety in favor of the numbing effects of a cocktail (or six). Cena remained tangibly believable through Michael’s pain and desperation-driven crescendo into rage that creates the emotional climax of the play. Although he berates his friends for living in silent shame about who they are and how they love, he remains blatantly silent about the identity of his own true love. The depth of his self-hatred goes unspoken, yet Cena’s energy and intensity brought it forth with great skillfulness.

Ultimately, all of the actors were topnotch. It would have been easy with these characters to have fallen prey to campy over-acting, but the talented cast and director avoided that pitfall and created an insightful, engaging, and tremendously thought-provoking show. They revealed to all audience members that, although we have come a far way towards LGBT visibility and acceptance since 1968, the sad truth is that (even today) self-hatred is something LGBT people are able to relate to and understand. ■ (Stonewall from page 1) He is not interested in, nor (sic) capable of, a lasting relationship like that of a heterosexual marriage.”

As one rioter remembers: “All of a sudden the police faced something they had never seen before. Gay people were never supposed to be threats to police officers.

They were supposed to be weak men, limp-wristed, not able to do anything.

And here they were lifting things up and fighting them and attacking them and beating them.”

The film is a New York Times “CRITICS’ PICK!” and a “PICK FOR THE WEEK! by Time.

The first night of the film features a 6:30 screening followed by a talkback with members of the group making the film “Shoulders to Stand On,” documenting the history of the LGBT community in Rochester. The talkback immediately follows the film and is included in the ticket price. The film runs through Thursday, Sept. 30. ■ (Nijinsky from page 1) Faun)” caused riots in the theatre.

At the height of his career, Nijinsky began to act erratically and was later confined to an institution for what is commonly recognized today as schizophrenia; a mental illness he battled for the rest of his life. This is where the play “Nijinsky’s Last Dance” begins.

This one-man tour-de-force delves into the hidden recesses of the great dancer’s psyche as he fights for his sanity. In a searing 90 minutes, Nijinsky not only relives his past, but also embodies the people who inhabit it, including lover Sergei Diaghilev, prima ballerina Tamara Karsavina, and artistic champion Auguste Rodin. Through the passionate telling of his own rise and fall, Nijinsky offers his audience a glimpse into a collapsing civilization and the unraveling of the twentieth century.

The cast includes Zachary Reeb, who is returning to BWT, having performed the role of Nijinsky previously as part of the Rainbow Theater Festival. He made his BWT debut in 2009 performing the role of Diomedes in Shakespeare’s “Troilus and Cressida”.

The crew includes Kevin S. Warner (director), and J.R. Teeter (lighting design). Mr. Warner made his BWT directing debut with “Nijinsky’s Last Dance.” He has directed, choreographed and performed with regional theatre and modern dance companies up and down the East Coast and on film and television. Mr. Warner is a Visiting Professor of Dance and Director of the Interdisciplinary Arts for Children Program at The State University of New York College at Brockport. Mr. Warner earned a Master of Fine Arts degree in Dance from Temple University and has done post-graduate work in Early Childhood, Elementary and Music Education. His teaching and writing focuses on the role of dance in teaching and learning across all subject areas. He consults and presents nationally in arts integration and the arts as wholeschool reform.

Mr. Teeter is Artistic Director/CEO of Bread & Water Theatre and an Adjunct Instructor in theatre at The State University of New York College at Brockport. ■

Klea Blackhurst does Vernon Duke classics

photo: Heather sullivan

show on Ethel Merman, which she brought to SOTA last spring.

Klea will perform at two shows, 2 and 7 p.m., at SOTA, 45 Prince St. Admission is $35; $25 for students and seniors. Tickets can be purchased at the SOTA box office, 242-0290.

“Off and Running” by Nicole Opper is the story of Brooklyn teenager Avery, a track star with a bright future. She is the adopted African-American child of Jewish lesbians. Her two brothers are black and Puerto Rican and Korean-American.

Though it may not look typical, Avery’s household is like most American homes — until Avery writes to her birth mother and the response throws her into crisis.

She struggles over her “true” identity, the circumstances of her adoption and her estrangement from black culture. Just when it seems her life will unravel, Avery begins to make sense of her identity, with inspiring results.

Lilac Squares hosts Barn Dance at 140 Alex Bar “Do-Se-Do your partner.” A Square Dance hosted by Lilac Squares is scheduled for Saturday evening, Oct. 2, from 7:30 p.m.-9:30 p.m., and it’s free admission at 140 Alex Bar, at the corner of Alexander and Broadway.

140 Alex has a great dance floor and sound system for square dancing, line dancing and two stepping. Singles, couples, women, men, gay and str8 are all welcome -- also those who have two left feet.

The evening’s square dancing will be at Gym Class/Introductory level, for those with little dance experience. Step-by-step instruction will be provided by Jerry Carmen, a professional caller from Spencerport. Jerry is also the weekly instructor for Lilac Squares, Rochester’s Gay and Lesbian Square Dance group, the hosts for the Barn Dance.

Bring your friends -- let’s fill those eight-person squares. For further information, contact bmdaniels@frontiernet.net.

POV airs series on adoption Sept. 7-14 POV (Point of View), the award-winning PBS documentary series, is proud to present POV Adoption Stories, three acclaimed films about international and domestic adoption, airing on WXXI through Sept. 14 at 10 p.m.

The films explore the challenges of adoptees forging new identities while holding on to their cultural roots. The award-winning film “Off and Running,” about lesbian parents raising a multiracial family, premieres on Tuesday, Sept. 7 at 10 p.m.

In addition to the TV premiere, POV will be streaming “Off and Running” in its entirety beyond the broadcast, from Sept. 8–Dec. 7 at www.pbs.org/pov/video to commemorate National Adoption Month in November.

“Autumn in New York: Vernon Duke’s Broadway” will take the stage at School of the Arts on Sept.

26. Klea Blackhurst returns to Rochester to do her take on Vernon Duke classics in a benefit for the School of the Arts.

Many Broadway fans will recall her dynamic one-woman

Playwright Manuel Igrejas

“Miss Mary Dugan” opens at MuCCC Oct. 13 For October, John W. Borek Presents mounts Manuel Igrejas’ award winning play “Miss Mary Dugan,” in tandem with Edward Albee’s electrifying “The Zoo Story”.

The plays run Oct. 13–17 at MuCCC, 142 Atlantic Ave. Tickets are $10–20 and can be purchased at HYPERLINK “http://www.muccc.org” www.muccc.org or (585)234-1254.

Manuel Igrejas has been a publicist in New York’s theater community for 20 years. His fiction has been anthologized in Men on Men 4 and poetry in the anthology, A New Geography of Poets. Shrinkage, an evening of three of his one-act plays about the pursuit of mental health, was produced at Manhattan Theatre Source in 2004 with sterling results. His play “Kitty and Lina” produced in 2008 also scored good reviews. “Miss Mary Dugan”was presented at The Fresh Fruit Festival in 2009 and won Fruitee Awards for Best Play, Best Director (David Hilder) and Best Actor (Craig Fox). His newest play, “Hassan and Sylvia”was part of the 2010 Fresh Fruit Festival.

“I met Mr. Right a thousand times. I just never got his name.”

Miss Mary Dugan (aka Joe Azzopardi) lives in Cedar Chips, New Jersey, a pretty little town that he calls the West Hollywood of the East Coast. With his fabulous parties, Mary Dugan is the center of social life of gay Cedar Chips. Despite being the hostess with the most-ess, Dugan hasn’t had much

luck with men, and many of his nights are spent alone with porn, Doritos and Stoli.

He has a crush on the good-looking, mysterious guy next door (he lives next door to a funeral parlor). A chance encounter in the parking lot with Kevin, the object of his affection, throws him for a loop. It forces him to ask: what does he really want -- his fantasy or the prospect of getting to know his hunky neighbor in real time?

The play is recommended for mature audiences.

Blackfriars opens season on Sept. 18 Blackfriars Theatre, a not-for-profit mid-sized professional theatre on Rochester’s “Theatre Row,” announces the opening of its 2010-2011 season with “Marie Antoinette: The Color Of Flesh,” a drama

by Joel Gross.

The turbulent years around the French Revolution provide the setting for this dramatic love triangle. Elisabeth Vigée le Brun, a beautiful, social-climbing portrait painter, uses her affair with Count Alexis de Ligne, a left-leaning philanderer, to get a commission to paint the naive young Queen Marie Antoinette.

While Elisa uses the Queen to further her career and Alexis uses the Queen to further his political goals, both learn to love the woman they’re exploiting. Elisa becomes the Queen’s best friend, and Alexis becomes the Queen’s lover. Elisa tries to end the scandalous affair between the Queen and Alexis, both out of concern for the Queen’s political position and jealousy over Alexis’ love, until the Revolution shatters all three of their lives.

“Marie Antoinette: The Color Of Flesh” stars Allan O’Grady Cuseo, Joshua Radford, Jill Rittinger and Marcy J. Savastano. The play is directed by David Runzo, with sets and costumes designed

by John Haldoupis. Stage management is

by Jackie Spiro.

Show times are: Saturday, Sept. 18, 25 and Oct. 2, at 8 p.m.; Friday, Sept. 24 and Oct. 1, 8 p.m; Sunday, Sept. 19, 26 at 2 p.m.; Thursday, Sept. 23, 30 at 7:30 p.m.

Ticket prices are $25 Adult; $23 Seniors; $15 Students. Thursdays/Fridays and $27 Adult; $25 Seniors; $17 Students on Saturdays/Sundays.

Blackfriars Theatre is located at 795 East Main St., just a few doors down from the Auditorium Theatre. There is parking available on site, and handicapped seating is available.

Tickets may be purchased online at www.bftix.com. Tickets may also be purchased by calling our box office at 4541260. MasterCard, Visa, and Discover are available at no additional charge. If available, tickets can be purchased at the door beginning one hour prior to performance.

Box office hours are Monday thru Friday, 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., and Saturdays, noon to 4 p.m. For more information regarding Blackfriars Theatre, see the website at www.blackfriars.org. ■

september 2010 • number 438 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Ride For Pride: An interview with the founders

By Jeanne Gainsburg, GAGV Outreach Coordinator On Saturday, Sept. 11, 15 riders will set off on a bike ride fundraiser for the Gay Alliance.

They will be making a 70-mile ride, starting in West Henrietta, going all the way to Palmyra and back to West Henrietta.

This event was created by two friends and volleyball teammates of mine, Jason Croft and Pam Polashenski. Both are straight allies. As I was not part of the post-volleyball game conversation when this idea was created, I thought I would ask them a few questions about the event.

Jeanne: Can you tell me how this idea to do a bike fundraiser for the Gay Alliance came to life?

Jason: It’s funny. I was bragging so much after finishing a 100 mile Tour de Cure charity ride for the American Diabetes Association that Pam asked if there was a way she could do one as well just to shut me up. In reality, Pam and a few others were interested in trying a long ride as well and we couldn’t find a date for a traditional charity to join so we decided to create one ourselves. Since there are varying levels of fitness among riders, we decided to do a metric century (100 kilometers or 65 miles) instead of 100 miles.

Pam: Actually, it started when I was bragging so much after finishing a bike and beer event (42 miles + 10 beers ride), which I don’t think was for charity, but since I have little memory of the event I could be wrong. Jason asked if there was a way he could do one as well to shut me up. In reality, I remember talking with Jason over a beer at Hot Shots about how nice it would be to combine a long bike ride with less extreme drinking and raise money for something we cared about.

Jeanne: What made you choose the Gay Alliance for your fundraiser?

Jason: Through your work there, I have met with many of the employees.

They are all incredibly passionate about what they do. They are always trying to do what is right and not just what is easy.

I will say that my time spent with the GAGV staff has been pleasant as well as eye-opening without feeling like I am an outsider or that I am being preached to.

There are huge fundraisers for diabetes, multiple sclerosis, heart disease and AIDS that do incredibly well. I wanted to try to help out a smaller organization whose programs are extremely important, but which are not always well funded.

Pam: The Gay Alliance was definitely Jason’s suggestion, but I embraced it wholeheartedly. I love the idea of supporting a local charity. Through Jeanne, I’ve attended several GAGV events and have always felt incredibly welcome despite not being gay. My three daughters have also become involved with GAGV activities and have developed a passion for supporting causes such as marriage equality and nondiscrimination against the LGBT community. I believe

Pam Polashenski

Jason Croft

any organization that can foster such passion deserves my fundraising efforts.

Jeanne: What are your future plans for Ride for Pride? Are you hoping that it will become an annual event?

Jason: I do have some grandiose plans for this being an annual event; I just want someone else to manage it (just kidding). I have spent 10 hours a week trying to plan different aspects, get riders, organize training rides, create fundraising forms, being interviewed, etc. I just wanted to ride a bike and give back to the community, but this ride has taken on a life of its own.

Pam: I’m looking forward to Jason running this event for years.

Jeanne: And one final question, what DO straight people do in bed?

Jason: I have two children and have been with my wife for over 18 years. I work full time, ride 70 miles on the bike a week, and play volleyball three nights a week. The only thing we do in bed is sleep and snore very loudly.

Pam: We screw like rabbits.

If you would like to support Jason, Pam or any of the Ride For Pride riders, please go to the Gay Alliance website at: http://www.gayalliance.org/component/ content/article/11-events/283-ride-forpride.html ■

In The Life airs Sept. 19 on WXXI at 11:30 p.m.

The September In The Life is titled “The State of Equality”. It is scheduled to air on WXXI on Sunday, Sept. 19 from 11:30 to midnight.

In 2008, President Barack Obama secured the LGBT vote, promising full equality for the community. Two years later, many are critical of the pace of change. This month In The Life asks if the President is an advocate for gay rights, and service members talk to Senator Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) about Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

Politics of Progress President Obama’s inauguration marked more than one historic first; our first Black President is also the first American President to publicly identify as an ally of the LGBT community. In his two years in office, Obama has signed presidential memorandums expanding federal benefits to same-sex partners and extended federal protections to LGBT victims of hate crimes.

But so far, his administration has not fulfilled the change he promised on key issues like The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), The Employee Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) and “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” In response to growing frustration, some new LGBT rights groups are using aggressive tactics to push for full equality.

A Conversation With Senator Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY), David Hall and Julianne Sohn Senator Kirsten Gillibrand of New York is leading the charge in the Senate to repeal ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.’

She recently came to In The Life to hear from two service members discharged under the policy: David Hall, a former officer cadet in the Air Force and Julianne Sohn, a former Marine officer who served in Iraq. ■

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 438 • september 2010

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september 2010 • number 438 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Columnists

The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet.

Growing Up Wegmans vs. Tops

By Eric Bellmann It’s a done deal, isn’t it? Wegmans wins. Wegmans is the business that ate Rochester; it’s where we go for everything: food, supplies, hook-ups (yeah, really); it’s almost heaven. Well, not in my book, or not exactly.

I live a couple of blocks from the Wegmans that people either love as it is or ache to see replaced: East Avenue. A couple of blocks away on Winton Road is the onceupon-a-time ratty Tops, now significantly spiffed up.

Why I hate East Ave. Wegmans: They put the easy to snap up, ready to eat food right by the front door. I don’t stand a chance. Gobble, gobble. For all the variety, it becomes monotonous and eventually everything seems to taste the same. But it is smart marketing. I’ll give them that.

On a darker side, it is possible to fall in love with an item such as a $5 tray of cheese cubes and salami, with two wee bunches of red and green grapes, an ideal TV snack and then with no notice, no by-your-leave, it vanishes.

One inquires. “We were told to discontinue it,” a clerk whispers, glancing over her shoulder for who knows what reason. “But it was ideal, popular, I loved it,” I declare.

“Yeah,” she mumbles.

Inquiries at the so-called service desk are greeted with blank stares, which means they’re doing the fake-listen look and are only waiting for me to go away and that proves to me I will never again see the cheese tray snack I so loved. Wegmans decides. Get used to it.

And so it goes with the ugly monstrosity of a super store that will come our way changing forever the character of the intersection of Winton Road and East Avenue.

Several interesting pieces of architecture will be leveled. An incongruous suburban design will rise triumphant. A few community voices rise in protest, to no avail. More than a few people regarded the business man who held out, refused to sell his business, as a hero, a man alone facing Goliath.

Eventually, he sold.

Fact is, I live just far enough away that I may not suffer the impact of changing traffic patterns. Maybe they’ll have the Indian take-out that I’ve come to appreciate in the Pittsford store. I can be had. For now, though, my mood is grim.

On the plus side, sort of, is the endless traffic of hot bodies. For a while you think they are trooping in after a workout at the gym across the street and for sure there is some of that. But there are too many. Ever think one would complain about too many hot bodies? I mean Wegmans shows up on the missed connections Craig’s List site!

“Saw you there, pink shirt, we made eye contact, get back to me, I was the guy in green.” Initially it’s a rush to realize there are so many, so very many men in great shape. I’ve stalked men in Wegmans. It just happens. You see a knockout and skip ahead two aisles to catch another glimpse of him. I do not think I am alone in that.

Then you have to remind yourself what you were shopping for. It helps to have a list, items to be checked off; yoghurt, crackers, etc. Biceps are not on the list.

OK, Tops. What I like is that there isn’t much you want to buy there. Basics are basics: toilet paper, laundry soap, bottled water. The aisles are wide and there is never, ever anyone in there. You don’t have to bob and weave around health nuts read-

ing package contents, or people hogging the narrow aisles greeting their friends the way they do at Wegmans. The clerks are nice. I think they are naturally nice, not like (some of) the clerks at Wegmans, who ask you in robot fashion how you are and never make eye contact. I suspect they are whipped into obedience, brainwashed into reciting their pleasantries, then shoved out onto the floor from some holding pen in back.

If you really want to join the revolution, go to Wegmans in Pittsford Plaza. Talk about entitled people. Whoa. The gush of lush food. It turns my stomach. And yet, and yet, there is something festive, something seductive about the largesse, the abundance, the flow of money and ripe produce. It is a puzzlement.

You never see hot men at Tops. Maybe some roofers or contractors and, for sure, homeless guys or the nearly indigent, redeeming their empties. More tattoos at Tops. More people just buying beer, too.

There is an aura of real life, life less than idealized. Parking is a no brainer.

And my very favorite thing about Tops is M., a nerdy clerk. He is beyond adorable.

Clumsy eyeglasses, narrow shoulders. He looks like he is twelve, well, not really, but he is very unspoiled, innocent. He beams if you call him by name and he is very, very sincere. I saw him once walking to work, maybe ten blocks away from the store.

Somehow it gave me a greater sense of who he is, I felt like he was my neighbor.

The bottom feeder vibe at Tops, the sad sacks who shop there, the ordinary men and women who work there, some so obviously stunned that this is their life, working here – for all those reasons, I feel better at Tops.

E-mail: ELB.CAD@ RIT.EDU

Cleaning My Closet Legal

By Meredith Elizabeth Reiniger A plain round magnet holds it on our refrigerator door. The state of Massachusetts holds it in their records vault. Our marriage certificate.

Our LEGAL Marriage License. We hold it in our hearts.

A brief encounter at a diner. During morning errands, dd intended to merely reveal our vacation plans. Then she realized that she wanted to Wear The Wedding Gown, to unveil the truth. “We are going to Cape Cod to get married.” Each time, instant congratulations came from her listeners… the jeweler, her customers, the bank clerks, the waitress.

Not so fast for Carole. “I thought you were already married?”

“Well,” dd enumerated, “two or three times we have. In 2001, we exchanged vows in the woods.” Carole’s verdict: “That wasn’t legal.”

“In 2004,” dd listed, “we had a Sikh ceremony on the shore of Lake Ontario.”

Another Carole ruling: “That wasn’t legal.”

“Also,” dd added, “we registered a Domestic Partnership in Rochester City Hall. “ Okay, I’ll give that to you; that was legal.”

“At long last,” dd reckoned, “in 2010 we will get married in Massachusetts.” Carole’s nod summed it up. “Now that’s legal.”

The word slipped into dd’s plan. She took our wedding bands, once again, to be polished for our once-again wedding. She asked the jeweler to engrave our July wedding date right next to the date of our non-

legal wedding.

“I had our new date added,” she admitted, placing the gleaming-again band onto my palm. A lovely surprise. Sweet dd. Yet her face was still covered with one of those special grins.

Once more I twirled the gold circle.

Letters. Initials? Not my initials. What?

I asked. Smile response. I read the letters aloud. “L” Smile. “E” Smile. I struggled for meaning. It took all five letters plus five seconds of processing before my brain recognized LEGAL. A sunny Monday on the Cape. Four days before our Officially Authorized marriage. My-Bride and I-Bride walked into the East Dennis Town Hall. Our legally-married-last-year friends, Cyndi and Mary, accompanied us. In case we needed help remembering details. To witness the respect of our human rights. To participate in the celebration of Equality.

The clerk was pleasant. The form was respectful. Two categories: person A and person B. We paid the $25 license fee and bought a $10 registered mail stamp to have our license signed, sealed, and delivered.

Smiling, dd addressed the envelope to Mrs. and Mrs. Corcimiglia-Reiniger. “You know what I liked about the whole process,” Cyndi explained. “It was so normal.”

Normal is good. Actually we wanted lots of normal. More than weather wise and site specific, our attire had to be comfortable. Cotton and linen; sand shades, cloud whites, and sky grays. Around my neck I wore my Grandmother’s necklace, cherished for thirty-two years. Made of two convex pieces of glass connected by a gold band, it held, on my wedding day, one Queen Anne’s Lace flower. Something old.

Standing beside the ocean. Something blue. 11:11 on 30 July 2010. We gathered at the Meadow on the Cove. An intimate park in the town of Orleans. The meadow was bursting with wildflowers… miniature yellow “orchids,” delicate diminutive daisies, petite purple asters, dancing grasses. And an amazing multitude of Queen Anne’s Lace. Beth photographed every bloom. Meanwhile, dd was gathering my wedding bouquet. The single path, meandering toward the waves, ended at a small cleared circle with a single bench, dedicated to an 80-year-old teacher. (Plaque also photographed.)

Swathed in lavender, Reverend Faith, walking among us, played her Native American flute to bring tranquility to our small wedge of the world. Next the singing bowl. Made of quartz crystal, it rings a musical “F”. The vibrations, because they are like the heart’s rhythm, opened our hearts to receive joy. The vibrations, which easily travel two miles, spread our jubilation into other pieces of the planet.

In Colorado our cousins had not felt the singing bowl’s pulsations, still they sensed our happiness. Quickly they visited the home of Mrs. and Mrs. Legal. So many wedding stories to share.

But cousin-cousin Halcyon Brooke, a recent college graduate, wanted us to tell her the parts that her Youthful Self had not quite heard. “Tell me the story of how you two met.” Well, I reflected, ten years ago is a long way to carry details.

How? How did we meet? Accidentally, when she was painting a friend’s house. Unexpectedly, when, weeks later, she was visiting that friend and I happened to return from walking that friend’s dog. Slowly, when I failed to return her calls. Surprisingly, when she asked me out to dinner. Astonishingly, when I, Gladly Single for ten years, said yes. How did we meet? Miraculously.

Something unknown. Tomorrow.

Something powerful. The Blessing of Unknowing. We selected that poem by Wendy Egyoku Nakao from Faith’s collection of inspirational readings. So, Mary, with one of Faith’s shawls draped over her shoulders, its sunset colors rippling in the breeze, shared the poem with our wedding circle.

“On this day, two lives join as one.

Who can know from where this union comes? Who can know how far into eternity this will go? These are the blessings of Unknowing.

b5 “On this day, two hearts beat as one.

Who can know how many other hearts this joins? Who can know how far this love will flow? These are the blessings of Unknowing.

“On this day, two hands meet as one.

Who can know how many other beings this holds? Who can know how far this touch will grow? These are the blessings of Unknowing.

“On this day, one is no longer one. Two are no longer two. Who can know how far these blessings will go? Who can know?

Who can know?

“Let us rejoice in the blessings of Unknowing.”

Then, with tears I had not expected, dd and I gave our promise... “From this day forward you shall not walk alone; my heart will be your shelter; my arms will be your home. For the third time I place this gold circle on your finger. With this ring, I give you my heart.”

Fortunately, Brenda, our ring bearer, did not let our wedding bands roll seaward.

Something borrowed. As the sunlight gilded our circle of friends, Cyndi read the Apache Prayer, the same prayer shared at her 2001 spiritual wedding to Mary. “Now you will feel no rain, for you will each be shelter for the other. Now, you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now, there is no loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other.

Now, you are two persons, but there is only one life before you. Go now into your dwelling, to enter into the days of your life together. May your days be good and long upon the Earth.”

Yes. Finally. We enter into the days of our Life Together, LEGALLY MARRIED. Something new.

MeredithElizabethReiniger@frontiernet. net

Faith Matters Can blacks rid themselves of their use of the n-word?

By Rev. Irene Monroe In an attempt to dole out advice on the “n-word,” conservative talk radio host Dr. Laura Schlessinger slipped into a rant using it.

When a caller -a distraught African American women who called in to be advised on how to handle racist jokes and comments hurled at her by her white in-laws and neighbors – asked Schlessinger, is it OK to use the n-word, Dr. Laura needed advice before she advised.

“It depends how it’s said… Black guys talking to each other seem to think it’s OK,” Schlessinger told the caller. (She has now quit the show, saying her First Amendment rights have been violated.) Whether used as an expletive or term of endearment, what is it about this word that captures the rage and shame of the American public?

In December 2006 we blamed Michael Richards, who played the lovable and goofy character Kramer on the TV sit-com “Seinfeld,” for using the n-word. The racist rant was heard nationwide and shocked not only his fans and audience that night at the Laugh Factory in West Hollywood but it also shocked Americans back to an ugly era in U.S. history.

In July 2008 we heard the Rev. Jesse Jackson used the n-word referring to Barack Obama. And Jackson using the word not only reminded us of its only history, but also how the n-word can slip so approvingly from the mouth of a man who was part of a cadre of African Americans leaders burying the n-word once and for all in mock funeral at the 98th annual NAACP’s convention in Detroit in 2007.

While it is easy to get sidetracked by raising queries about the tenor and intent of the repetitive use of the n-word in the context of supposed humor, as in Richard’s case, vilification as in Jackson’s or advice as in Schlessinger’s case, we must as Ameri-

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(Columnists continued from page 5) 4) cans, nonetheless, look at the systemic problem of what happens when an epithet like the n-word, which was once hurled at African Americans in this country and banned from polite conversation, now has a broad-based cultural acceptance in our society today.

Popularized by young African Americans’ use of it in hip hop music, the bantering and bickering over this word today is no longer about who has been harmed or hurt by its use, but who has the right to use it, which is why Richards and Schlessinger were publicly pulverized, and Jackson wasn’t.

But our culture’s present-day cavalier use of the n-word speaks less about our right to free speech and more about how we as Americans — both White and Black — have become anesthetized to the damaging and destructive use of this epithet.

Many African Americans, and not just the hip hop generation, state that reclaiming the n-word serves as an act of group agency and as a form of resistance against the dominant culture’s use of it, and therefore the epithet gives only them a license to use it.

However, the notion that it is acceptable for African Americans to refer to each other using the n-word, while considering it racist for others outside the race, unquestionably sets up a double standard.

Also, the notion that one ethnic group has property rights to the term is a reductio ad absurdum argument, since language is a public enterprise.

African Americans’ appropriation of the n-word as insiders neither obliterates the historical baggage with which the word is fraught nor obliterates its concomitant social relations among Blacks and between Whites and Blacks. Just because some African Americans use the term does not negate our long history of self-hatred.

The n-word is firmly embedded in the lexicon of racist language that was and still is used to disparage African Americans.

However, today the meaning of the n-word is all in how one spells it. By dropping the “re” ending and replacing it with either an “a” or “ah” ending, the term morphs into one of endearment. But many slaveholders pronounced the n-word with the “a” ending, and in the 1920s many African Americans use the “a” ending as a pejorative term to denote class differences among themselves.

In 2003, the NAACP convinced Merriam-Webster lexicographers to change the definition of the n-word in the dictionary to no longer mean African Americans, but instead to be defined as a racial slur. And, while the battle to change the n-word in the American lexicon was a long and arduous one, our culture’s neo-revisionist use of the n-word makes it even harder to purge the sting of the word from the American psyche.

Why? Because language is a representation of culture.

Language re-inscribes and perpetuates ideas and assumptions about race, gender and sexual orientation we consciously and

unconsciously articulate in our everyday conversations about ourselves and the rest of the world, and consequently transmit generationally.

Many activists argue that Richards’ repentance at the time should have been volunteer work in a predominately African American community anywhere in the county. However, he would find there too that many of us keep the n-word alive.

But what would work for us all is a history lesson, because reclaiming racist words like the n-word does not eradicate their historical baggage and their existing racial relations among us.

Instead, it dislodges the word from its historical context and makes us insensitive and arrogant to the historical injustice done to a specific group of Americans. It also allows Americans to become unconscious and numb in the use and abuse of the power and currency this racial epithet still has, thwarting the daily struggle many of us Americans work hard at, in trying to ameliorate race relations.

Beyond the Binary On the Importance of Marilyn Manson

By Laura McSpadden Throughout the last few months, I have been thinking a lot about a very special someone, a person whose impact on my life I’ve never before tried to articulate but which I’ve never been able to deny.

You see, I think that most trans people today can, without a moment’s thought, name the first celebrity who opened their eyes to trans-gender presentation.

Although few of these celebrities actually identify (at least publicly) as transgender, their effect on young trans people searching for self-acceptance can be so intense that it deserves examination.

For some, it was David Bowie. Other names from music that come to mind are Prince, Boy George, Antony Hegarty (of Antony and the Johnsons), Dee Snider (of Twisted Sister), Patti Smith, Pete Burns (of Dead or Alive), k. d. lang, Robert Smith (of The Cure), Annie Lennox, Grace Jones and Lucas Silveira (of the Cliks). (Have I successfully clued you all in to my approximate age? Yep, that list probably did it.)

And while I give each of those performers varying degrees of gratitude and respect (sorry, Dee, you aren’t on the top of the list), the one who affected me the most powerfully as a young baby-tranny was Marilyn Manson.

“Really?!” some of you may ask, particularly those among you who are more familiar with the rumors about him than with his words and music.

In response, let me first just say that the all-too-common fixation on the false and hyperbolized rumors only serves to distract from the uncomfortable, and yet still beau-

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tiful, truths that he represents. In fact, I would venture to say that this is one of the deepest similarities between Manson and the trans community.

Furthermore, he basically is the embodiment of not only the beautiful androgyny of the genderqueer movement, but also of the righteous anger and incomprehensible pain that are felt by trans people around the world and that (dare I say the obvious?) need to be heard and understood, particularly by the people who are made the most uncomfortable by his/our existence.

In short, he is the kind who can challenge the hypocrisies and injustices in today’s world with all the swagger of the butchest drag king and all the glam of a queen.

“How,” you may ask, “do you think he does that?”

Goodness, just take his pseudonym and the pseudonyms of many, though not all, of the musicians who have made up his band: Twiggy Ramirez, Ginger Fish, Madonna Wayne-Gacy, Daisy Berkowitz, Sara Lee Lucas, Gidget Gein, Olivia Newton Bundy and Zsa Zsa Speck.

All of these names bring into juxtaposition the first names of female cultural icons with the last names of male mass-murderers, thereby communicating a powerful critique of what gender represents to us culturally. Too few people think about what it means that women are stereotypically expected to be beautiful, while men are the violent ones: just saying Manson’s name brings these assumptions into stark relief.

There is also, of course, his obvious visual androgyny. He was the most overt about this in the era of his platinum-selling album Mechanical Animals. This album featured a cover that showed him sporting long hair with red highlights, prosthetic breasts and a latex body-suit that completely hid his manly genitals without detracting from the illusion that he was naked. However, androgyny has been an unwavering and constant theme throughout his career.

And yet, these reasons (compelling though they are) only scratch the surface of what made Marilyn Manson and his music so deeply and personally significant to me, and many other trans and genderqueer people of my generation.

The truth is that it is still nearly impossible to grow up trans in today’s Western world without experiencing all the emotions that arise from having an identity that is mocked and invalidated by most of polite society, and Manson was able to articulate and embody these emotions in a way that few other musicians have attempted.

Firstly and most obviously, he spoke to my anger: not the self-indulgent kind of anger, but the empowering kind that causes people to rise up in the face of all that is untrue and unjust, demanding to be heard. For instance, in the song “Kinderfeld” (off of the album Antichrist Superstar, which also went platinum), Manson sings that “Because your lies have watered me/ I have become the strongest seed.” There is something very existential about this line,

Marilyn Manson

something that points to the strength that comes from separating what is true from the many invalidating messages that we hear through our lives and moving beyond the bullshit.

And, quite frankly, there are few things more purging on really, really bad days — the kind when I’m called a “lady” and a “dyke” more than a few times, when the transphobia of even the queer community is a bit too much to take — than singing along (loudly, of course) to “Better of Two Evils.” The chorus of this song is formed around the rhythmic insistence that “Haters call me bitch/ Call me faggot, call me Whitey/ But I am something they will never be….”

Speaking of trans-invisibility, one of the other things about Manson’s music is the way it gave voice to my sense of alienation from much of the dominant culture. As a closeted genderqueer teenager at a time before I understood that the concept of genderqueer existed, when I was wondering if the ambiguity I felt about gender was complete confirmation that I was a freak in a world of normalcy, I would croon along when he sang that “I’m a million different things/ And not one you know” (from “I Want to Disappear”). In these moments, I would feel an odd sense of peace that at least I wasn’t the only one who felt that my internal experience of complexity marked me as an “other.”

And yet even his expressions of alienation held something empowering for me in their grasp. There was an odd sense of hope that I got from listening to “Wormboy,” in which Manson sings that “I got my wings and I never even knew it/ When I was a worm, thought I wouldn’t get through it.” This line seemed to promise to me that there was something that lay beyond the feelings of alienation: something which I am, indeed, finally able to experience through my growing self-acceptance.

Likewise, the line from “Wrapped in Plastic,” that “I’m only as deep as the self that I dig” did not communicate selfhatred or a lack of acceptance to me: it instead inspired me to look more deeply into myself, to find the truth within the

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september 2010 • number 438 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet confusion I was feeling at the time.

Manson speaks to these themes even outside of his music. For example, in an interview he did on the O’Reilly Factor (oh, yes, it’s strange but true that he appeared on that show), Bill O’Reilly asked Manson, “What’s your message? What are you trying to get across in the lyrics to these songs?”

Manson replied, “It’s always about being yourself and not being ashamed of being different or thinking differently.”

Simple. True. Powerful. And all too pertinent an idea for the trans community, the least protected and most silenced group of people in America today.

Also among the most powerful ways that Manson affected me as a young genderqueer was the way he articulated the importance of becoming disillusioned regarding the powers-that-be in today’s world. In regards to this matter, one of the most inspiring statements from Manson can be found within the documentary Bowling for Columbine.

In this interview, he spoke about how in the aftermath of Columbine his music and violence in entertainment became main targets, while “in the meantime, we forgot about how the President was shooting bombs overseas…. And no one said, well, maybe the President had an influence on this violent behavior, because that’s not the way the media wants to take it and spin it to turn it into fear.”

This reminds me a lot of the recent debates over GENDA. Rather than talking about civil rights, human rights, and the frequent victimization and discrimination that are faced by trans people throughout New York State and the entire nation, the transphobic powers-that-be distracted the conversation through fear tactics: the theory was posed that, should GENDA pass, public restrooms would dissolve into violent anarchy, that women wouldn’t be safe from the MTF predators in the stall next door, that peaceful urination would become a thing of the past.

Let’s not talk about how trans people

are being turned away from emergency rooms and refused fundamental medical care: let’s not talk about how a huge number of trans people are under the poverty line and denied the basic protections of equal-opportunity employment. Let’s not talk about the frequency with which transpeople are the victims of hate crimes. Let’s distract the public from the true violence and injustice with a red herring that is as insulting as it is discriminatory.

In the same Bowling for Columbine interview, Michael Moore asks Manson, “If you were to talk directly to the kids at Columbine and the people in the community, what would you say to them if they were here right now?”

Manson replied, “I wouldn’t say a single word to them. I would listen to what they have to say, and that’s what no one did.”

I would take this statement and say that it doesn’t just apply to the kids at Columbine, but to every young queer and trans person who is struggling to understand and accept him-, her- or hirself. I remember being brought to the brink of tears during that part of the movie the first time I watched it, because I recalled so clearly the feeling of being a youth who felt invalidated, unheard and unaccepted for far too many of my formative years.

It is my own humble opinion that Manson speaks clearly to the beauty, strength, uniqueness and emotions of the trans and genderqueer experience. I’d even go so far as to say that the knee-jerk rumors, misinformation and fear that surround his persona are a near-perfect parallel to the prejudice and invisibility that continue to plague transpeople today.

But don’t take it from me: decide for yourself. Talk to trannies. Listen to something you’ve never before heard said or sung. Refuse to be convinced solely by what you’ve been taught, what you’ve heard from others, or what you saw on television. Scared of Manson? Weirded-out and confused by trans issues and genderqueer people? Do yourself a favor: go beyond the surface. ■

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 438 • september 2010

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 438 • september 2010

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 438 • september 2010

Gay Alliance News Ask Nereida & Gabe: advice for youth* Question: I like this girl but she only likes me as a friend. What should I do?

Gabe: Keep her as a friend and be open-minded about the situation. Even though people are not interested, I would still have them in my life. Respect their wishes and understand how they feel. If anything progresses or if that person’s mind changes, have a sit-down chat with them and try to figure out the situation together and see where it goes.

Nereida: Run in the opposite direction. Obviously she isn’t a very smart girl as she is making a horrible decision by not liking you.

Question: Is it sexting OK? (Sexting is talking dirty or sending sexual images over cell phone).

Gabe: If you are under 18, absolutely not. No child should even be thinking about doing that in the first place. But if you are over 18, be careful who your recipient is and do it in a tasteful way.

Nereida: Sexting is awesome. You can be discreet and it is a good way to practice abstinence. You can’t get any STDs from it, so he-ey!

But if you are under 18, you should not be sexting. Not at all. Zero. And don’t send any sexts to anyone under 18 either.

Question: I am in high school and I need a good Halloween costume idea.

Any suggestions?

Nereida: Good Halloween costumes are A: Ones that fit. B: Ones that stand out. C: Cute, sexy ones.

Gabe: I would like to see costumes that are creative and out-of-the-ordinary.

Examples would be a mime, a drag queen, a troll, Jack Skellington and Cookie Monster.

Nereida: NO COOKIE MONSTER. Gabe: I like Cookie Monster! I’m keeping him!

Nereida: I’d rather be Elmo.

Gabe: Elmo’s Gay. Case in Point.

Question: I’m 17. Am I too old to trick or treat?

Gabe: Trick, no. Treat, yes.

Nereida: Trick or treat? No, you’re not too old. I’m 20 and I’m still trick-ortreating. I have a kid, though, so that’s my excuse. But if I didn’t, I think I’d rather be at a Halloween Party.

Gabe: I have nephews and a niece. So, I think it’s appropriate to take them out, considering my age, and the people giving out the candy won’t mind.

Gabe & Nereida’s Best & Worst Halloween Treats: WORST 5. Religious Pamphlet 4. Clark Bars 3. Pretzels or bubble gum 2. Bottle Caps or Smarties 1. Apples or any healthy foods BEST 5. Swedish Fish 4. Almond Joy 3. Sour Patch Kids 2. Snickers or Reese’s Pieces (tie) 1. Butterfinger or Reese’s PB Cups (tie) *Advice is for recreational purposes only.

Coming Out by 17

By Dwayne Scott Living my life as a gay man is not easy as it sounds. I was confused about my sexuality at one time because I wasn’t too sure what I was attracted to between a man and a woman. I was made fun of all the way in school towards the way I was acting and the way I was carrying myself.

I was very insecure about myself, I used to complain to people all the time because they was making fun of me, but they just didn’t care less about me. I felt alone and didn’t have nobody for support whatsoever, I used to go counseling that didn’t work, but I started to attend gay youth groups in Syracuse which is my hometown and Rochester.

I started to feel like I was myself and felt very independent in a sense. Certain family members did not accept the fact that I was a homosexual and that I liked the same sex.

Some people in my family who were religious said it was a sin but I disagree, there are some family members that I don’t talk to because of that. You can’t change people at all because they have their own opinions and difference. There’s really no need to argue about certain issues at all, plus it creates more problems before it even gets better. That’s why I keep things to myself at all times, no need for unnecessary drama.

My sexuality created tension between me and my dad, we just couldn’t get along at all. I felt he was somewhat of a hypocrite in my opinion. I wanted me to become something that I was not because I wouldn’t happy inside at all. He used to say inappropriate names regarding my sexuality and said vulgar names and it bothered me a lot.

I was afraid to act like myself around him. It’s like being trapped in a prison with big, huge giant men squeezing the life out of you. I don’t need anybody to say anything negative to me because they want to see a reaction coming from you. I just laugh and walk away shaking my head. I wanted to keep my personal life private until I was 18 but I couldn’t hide in the shadow no more.

Some people ask what gender I am because I have a young face and very androgynous features as a guy. I think its good for me to have both male and female features because its normal for a female to look like a drag queen and a male to look like a little kid, even though they are a older and grown up. I was embarrassed at times because I knew what sex I was. I got into so many altercations regarding my sex and I paid a big price for it which I didn’t deserve it all whatsoever.

I felt I made a big mistake with the actions I did in my past but it’s done and over it. I have already faced reality regarding that situation. I am still holding grudges against people who hurt me so much and some who put me in hospital with minor injuries.

I am happy with the way I am living my life, I wouldn’t care what people would think of me at because I don’t need any haters at this time plus I been through that several times so boo hoo. I feel that God should accept everybody for who they are regarding their circumstances and living with it. There is no need to feel insecure about your sexuality if you know who you are. ■

UNIC

By Julia Ann Lost by your games, I write to you. I wasted life on trying. If I could take back time, I’d wish I never met you. A four year infection that tainted me blind, I now know your true colors. Deep inside, I can assume that you mean well, but I had enough. Insults and disrespect was all that I got. Consideration was never the case.

If I dare speak to you, I’d get nothing but excuses. I would spit on your pathetic little face that rages me. I was foolish to believe your apologies. I was dumb to think that you even cared. I hope that this little piece of mind will show how much pain you caused me. As I sigh now to conclude, I sit here with a devil crème pie in my mouth. Prosper, but do so with my absence.

GAGV youth picnicked and had fun at Charlotte in August. Photo: Kelly Clark

Rochester 2010

Thank you 2010 Pride Sponsors GREEN • Three Olives • Proximo Spirits • Absolut • • Empire Merchants • Bacardi • BLUE • Lake Beverage/Bud • Bachelor Forum/Peter Mohr • • Professional Tutoring Service • • Barefoot Wines • PURPLE • ImageOut • 140 Alex Bar and Grill • • Bread and Water Theater • Victory Alliance • • OUTlandish • Bill Schaefer and Matt Haag • • Center for Disability Rights • • Park Avenue Merchants • John Borek • • Equal = Grounds • ID Lube • • Cheshire Audio Visual • Rainbow SAGE • SPONSOR • Upstate Tattoo • RIT GLBT Center • Jines •

Fun in the Sun 2010!

Thank you!

The Board of Director & Staff of the Gay Alliance would like to thank the following companies and individuals for helping make the Anti-Violence Project fundraiser a success: Mamooche Bistro

Fun in the Sun 2010

Sponsors: The Law Offices of Richard A. Kroll, The Bachelor Forum, Dr. John Paris, DDS, Met Life

Auction/Raffle Donors: Memorial Art Gallery, Body Knead Massage, Marriage Equality New York, The Little Theatre, Equal=Grounds Coffee House, Natural Pet Foods Co., Union Hill Country Grill, Outlandish Videos & Gifts, Finger Lakes Coffee Roasters, Corn Hill Fine Wines & Spirits, Hedonist Artisan Chocolates, Equality ROChester, Your Body Massage, Bark Avenue Dog, Cats Exclusively Veterinary Hospital, Hirsute Salon, Rochester Riverside Convention Center, Rochester Philharmonic Orchestra, Center Stage at the JCC, Great Harvest Bread Co. Volunteers: Marcus Kroll, Ron Pawelczak, Chris Beato, Michael Hardy, Tom Privitere, Blanche Harling, DJ Hector Arguizoni, DJ Mighty Mic, Kyla Minx, Vanity Faire, Miss Deelicious, Poison Waters, Samantha Vega, Aneal Pleasures, Kasha Davis

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september 2010 • number 438 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Program Notes InQueery screens groundbreaking film

Released in 1978, “Word is Out: Stories of Some of Our Lives” startled audiences across the country when it appeared in movie theaters and on television. The first feature-length documentary about lesbian and gay identity made by gay filmmakers, the film had a huge impact and became an icon of the emerging gay rights movement of the 1970s.

In honor of the film’s place in LGBT history, “Word is Out” was selected for the Legacy Project for GLBT Film Preservation by Outfest and the UCLA Film & Television Archive. The original film negative was recently restored, and the remastered 35 mm print was shown at gala festival events at Outfest in Los Angeles and Frameline in San Francisco. The 30th anniversary release has been mastered from the restored 35mm theatrical version of the film and supervised by Ross Lipman of the UCLA Film & Television Archive and the Mariposa Film Group.

You will be amazed at how much and yet how little has changed in 30 years.

The screening will be on Thursday, Sept.

23, 6:30-9 p.m., and it is free and will be subtitled for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing (SDH). We will be screening of the original 133-minute restored film. Join us in the Gay Alliance Youth and Community Center, First Floor, 875 East Main St., Rochester 14605.

Two-part InQueery examines coming out

From 7-8:30 p.m. on Wednesdays Sept. 30 and Oct. 7, Scott Fearing, Program Director at the Gay Alliance, will lead a free two part InQueery class to examine LGBTQ identity and the coming out process.

“Understanding LGBT identity and related issues can be confusing,” stressed Fearing. “There are few places to turn for answers whether you are trying to understand yourself, a friend, a family member, or the issues in general. So that is the purpose of this two part class.

“In the first session we will examine human sexual identity and issues related to sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression. In the second session we will look at the psychological process of identifying as LGBTQ, better known as the coming out process. Both classes will allow for plenty of interaction and opportunity to ask questions.

“These sessions will be valuable for anyone navigating the complexities, challenges and opportunities associated with coming out. They will also be valuable for people with family members who identity as LGBT and professionals who work with youth and in social services. People of all ages and all identities are welcome to this free two part class as we examine what it means to be gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender,” Fearing said.

Go to www.GayAlliance.org and follow the Education tab to learn more about InQueery and register for this free class.

InQueery offers LGBT equality information

Politically, so much has happened over the summer while you were on vacation and enjoying the sun. As we prepare for autumn and the November elections, it’s time to catch up on all the queer news-

worthy events of the past several months.

On Monday Sept. 20, from 6:30-8 p.m., local activists Todd Plank and Anne Tischer will present an InQueery Class titled “LGBT Equality -- Where Are We Headed?”.

This session will bring us up to speed on what’s been happening to achieve LGBT equality on the local, state and national fronts. Included in the conversation will be a recap of the status of Prop 8, the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT) and the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA).

The presenters will do their very best to get you current with all things LGBT Equality-related. You will learn more about the first official Wedding March, to occur in Rochester on Sunday, Sept.

26. For more information about the Wedding March, see page A 1 of this issue and go to http://www.meny.us/march.

Further, you will learn how Anne has gotten ENDA and Immigration issues included in the organizer’s agenda for the One Nation March (www.onenationworkingtogether.org/march.aspx) which will be held in Washington D.C. on Saturday, Oct. 2. If you are passionate about LGBT rights, now is the time to Get Educated, Get Busy & Get Equal!

Youth Update

By Jess Cohen, Youth Services Director Youth Program Travels to Stony Brook The Youth Program had one last hurrah for Summer 2010 with a trip to Stony Brook State Park on Aug. 30. In collaboration with AIDS Care LGBT Health Program, several youth were able to hike along the beautiful waterfalls and take a dip in the creek! A picnic lunch also accompanied the fun day. This trip is just one of the many events that GAGV Youth and AIDS Care are working on together to improve the opportunities and outlook of LGBTQ youth in Rochester. A special Thank You goes out to Allegra Anka for all her hard work, van driving skills, and health information!

Plans for new school year While summer vacation may have passed, the sense of fun and adventure in the GAGV Youth program is far from over!

The new school year brings back new life to Drop-In Hours and Sunday Group.

We are looking forward to seeing old faces that have spent the summer working, traveling, or otherwise unable to attend programming.

Also, Queer College Tours will kickoff a new season, with plans to visit University of Rochester, Nazareth and other colleges and universities!

New to the Youth Program this fall is Queer Career Tours! Rochester offers amazing opportunities for LGBTQ professionals. With companies such as Wegmans, Kodak, Corning, Xerox and Baush & Lomb (just to name a few!) calling the Rochester region home, we are excited to get LGBTQ youth visiting companies that offer safe and inclusive work space for out adults.

If you, or your company, are interested in hosting a tour for a small group of LGBT Youth, you can contact me at 585-244-8640 ext. 13. The same goes for college alumni! Help the GAGV Youth program visit your alma mater! ■

Gay Alliance Youth The Gay Alliance offers Youth Services for Rochester area LGBTQ and allied youth ages 13-25 Check out what’s happening at: www.gayalliance.org or contact JessC@gagv.us Monday and Wednesday Drop-in: 2-6pm Sunday Support Groups: ages 13-23: 2-4pm; ages 18-25: 4:30-6pm Special Interest: Transgender Youth, Arts/Crafts, Movies, Writing Special Events: Youth Dances, Day of Silence, Big Gay Prom, Pool Table, LGBTQ Youth Library, Internet Access Fun, friendly, safe adults are needed to volunteer their time and talents, providing positive role models, maybe sharing a talent or skill. Contact Scott Fearing, Outreach Coordinator for an application: ScottF@gagv.us or 585-244-8640, ext. 14

Welcome to Rochester!

CampusOut can help LGBT students

By Mariam Mull As an undergrad, September was never my favorite month. Sure, the excitement of taking new classes and meeting new people was awesome, but between textbooks and tuition, it was a minor miracle that I could afford my developing caffeine addiction.

Money wasn’t really a factor that I paid attention to during my college search. To be honest, the entire process was rather haphazard -- I thought the University of Rochester put out pretty fliers, had some interesting academic programs, and most importantly it was about as far away as I could get from the conservative Texas suburb that I was raised in.

As a baby gay with one foot barely out of the closet, I wanted to find someplace safe and welcoming. When I moved here six years ago, I knew nothing about the city. I had no idea that it was the home of the Gay Alliance, the ImageOut film festival, and a slew of LGBTQ friendly businesses (you can find a bunch of them listed on the Gay Alliance website under the resources tab). I was incredibly lucky to end up here.

However, after getting acclimated into this new environment, I slowly began to realize that everything wasn’t quite sunshine, unicorns, and rainbows.

As a student, I found that my campus community and campus resources didn’t quite live up to expectations. The procedures for reporting harassment were murky, health services were sometimes

insensitive, and institutional support for LGBTQ students was virtually nonexistent. Through my involvement with CampusOUT I discovered that these problems were not unique to my school.

Whether it be trans-inclusive housing, sensitivity trainings for healthcare providers, or maybe even a resource center, every institution of higher education in the Greater Rochester area has room for improvement. As students, we pay a ton of money to our schools for a safe and inclusive environment so that we can learn and thrive, and if our needs are not being met, we are being ripped off.

Fortunately, we can do something about it. CampusOUT exists to connect students and student groups organizing for LGBTQ rights at all institutions of higher education in the Rochester area.

Together, we can finally get the most bang for our buck.

Contact CampusOUT at mariamm@ gayalliance.org ■

The Empty Closet College Students!

Welcome to Rochester, home to one of the oldest LGBT organizations (The Gay Alliance) and LGBT publications (The Empty Closet) in the nation! Home delivery of The Empty Closet is a benefit of membership in the Gay Alliance. Never miss important community news or an issue – become a member and have The Empty Closet delivered to your dorm room or your apartment each month for the student-only special rate of $20. But act quickly – this Welcome to School special will expire Sept. 30, 2010.

The Gay Alliance 875 E. Main St., Suite 500 Rochester, NY 14605 • Hours Mon.-Fri., 9 am-5 pm • Phone: (585) 244-8640 • Fax: (585) 244-8246 • Website: www.gayalliance.org Empty Closet Phone: (585) 244-9030 • Empty Closet Fax: (585) 244-8246 • Empty Closet Advertising: (585) 244-9030 • Empty Closet E-mail: emptycloset@gagv.us Board President Tom Ferrarese • Executive Director Sue Cowell • Administrative Assistant Laura McSpadden • Program Director Scott Fearing Empty Closet Editor Susan Jordan • Graphics Jim Anderson • Community Safety Kelly Clark • Development Brian Doran • Victim Advocate Kelly Baumgartner Youth Services Coordinator Jessica Cohen • CampusOut Assistant Mariam Mull • Outreach Coordinator Jeanne Gainsburg Youth Group: Youth Center, 1st floor - Ages 13-23 Sundays 2-4 pm; Ages 18-25 Sundays 4:30-6pm • http://youth.gayalliance.org for after school schedule and special events.

The Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley is a non-profit agency, dedicated to cultivating a healthy, inclusive environment where lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans-gender (LGBT) people are safe, thriving and enjoying equal rights. We are a coalition of individuals and groups working to empower LGBT people, to affirm their identities, and to create an atmosphere where the diversity of our community can thrive both collectively and separately. We educate and advocate for civil rights for all and for the eradication of homophobia.

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 438 • september 2010

Resources Aids

Free testing for HIV exposure is available from New York State Department of Health: call Rochester Area Regional Hotline at (585) 423-8081, or 1-800-962-5063 for pay phones or calls outside Rochester. Deaf or hearing impaired people should call (585)423-8120 (TDD.) New Rapid HIV Testing now available — test results in 30-40 minutes! Statewide information can be obtained by calling 1-800-541-AIDS. Other organizations which provide AIDS-related services are as follows: AIDS Care AIDS Care, the leading provider of HIV/AIDS services in Rochester and the Finger Lakes, was formed by the January 2010 merger of AIDS Community Health Center and AIDS Rochester.

On-site services include: HIV testing and limited STD screenings, Primary and HIV Specialty Medical Care, Pharmacy, Behavioral Wellness, Case Management, Prevention and Education, Clinical Trials, Dental Screenings, Hepatitis C Co-Infection Clinic, Housing Services, Laboratory, Nutrition Services, Peer Interaction, Smoking Cessation, Substance Use and Addiction Counseling, Support Groups, Transportation Services, Treatment Adherence Counseling, and Women’s Health Care. AIDS Care is also a leader in providing services and education to members of the LGBT community. Contact Information: Website: www. acRochester.org. Main Office: 259 Monroe Ave., Rochester, NY 14607; Main Phone: 585-5457200 - Health Services After Hours: 585-2583363; Case Management After Hours (Lifeline): 585-275-5151; Fax: 585-244-6456. Finger Lakes Office: 605 W. Washington St., Geneva, NY 14456, 315-781-6303. Southern Tier Office: 122 Liberty St. P O Box 624, Bath, NY 14810 607-776-9166. The Health Outreach Project: 416 Central Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; 585-454-5556.

Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley provides referrals to physicians and service agencies. (585) 244-8640; www.gayalliance.org.

Victory Alliance University of Rochester Medical Center. One of several research sites worldwide that comprise the HIV Vaccine Trials Network. Rochester site conducts research vaccine studies sponsored by National Institutes of Health (NIH) in the attempt to discover a vaccine that may one day prevent HIV infection or AIDS. Imagine a world without AIDS, learn how you can help create it. 585-7562329; www.vaccineunit.org.

Center for Health and Behavioral Training of Monroe County 853 Main St., Rochester 14611. Collaboration of Monroe County Health Department and U.R. Provides year-round training in prevention and management of STDs, HIV, TB and related issues, such as domestic violence and case management. (585)753-5382 v/tty.

Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/ Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Tollfree Helpline: 1-866-600-6886. Offers confidential HIV testing and information. When you make your appointment, be sure to ask about our sliding scale fees. No one is turned away for lack of ability to pay.

Rochester Area Task Force on AIDS A collection of agencies providing a multiplicity of resources and services to the upstate New York community. Their offices are located through the Finger Lakes Health Systems Agency, which also provides medical literature and newspaper clippings, as well as demographic and statistical data for use in developing health care services. (585) 461-3520.

MOCHA Center of Rochester Our mission is to improve health and wellness in communities of color through intervention and service, with emphasis on LGBTQ programming.

Youth drop-in center, HIV testing, peer education, support groups, computer lab, referral services and more. Stop by 107 Liberty Pole Way (corner of Pleasant) or call (585)420-1400.

Monroe County Health Department at 855 W. Main St., offers testing and counseling for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases.

(585)753-5481.

Strong Memorial Hospital provides a complete range of HIV medical care, including access to experimental treatment protocols, and HIV testing. Also provides individual and group psychotherapy. Training of health care professionals also available. Infectious Disease Clinic, (585) 275-0526. Department of Psychiatry, (585) 275-3379. AIDS Training Project, (585) 275-5693.

Planned Parenthood of Rochester and Genesee Valley offers testing and information (585) 546 2595.

Rural HIV testing anonymous and confidential, in Alleghany, Livingston, Ontario, Schuyler, Seneca, Steuben, Wayne or Yates Counties, call 1-800-962-5063.

Action Front Center (Action for a Better Community.) Provides HIV prevention education and case management services. Training and technical assistance to service providers. Resource library open to public. All services free and confidential. Multicultural and bilingual staff. Jearald Noble, program manager.

33 Chestnut St., second floor. Hours 8:30-5 pm, Monday-Friday. 262-4330; fax 262-4572. Free anonymous HIV testing on walk-in basis, Tuesdays, Wednesdays 1-4 pm, provided through NYSDOH. Thursdays 1-4 pm at Aenon Baptist Church, 175 Genesee St. Anthony L. Jordan Health Center Prevention & Primary Care Program Provides Medical Case Management, Mental Health, Primary Care, HIV Counceling and Testing using the Orasure Rapid Test, Education presentations, and access to other Jordan services. Prevention & Primary Care is a walk-in program; no appointments necessary. Office hours: Mon.– Fri., 8:30am– 5 pm: extended hours on Monday until 8 pm. (585) 423-2879; fax (585) 423-2876.

Website: www.jordanhealth.org. For more information, call Program Director Patrick M. Trevor, (585) 423-2879.

CDC National STD and AIDS Hotline 1-800-CDC-INFO (800-232-4636) 24 hours a day. TTY service: 1-888-232-6348. E-mail address: cdcinfo@cdc.gov.

Fair Housing Enforcement Project of Monroe County 585-325-2500; 1-800-669-9777. Deals with housing discrimination on basis of race, orientation, HIV status, etc.

Public Interest Law Office of Rochester 80 St. Paul St., Suite 701. Free legal services to HIV positive persons, families. Spanish bilingual advocates available. All civil cases except divorce; no criminal cases. Ask to speak to someone in PILOR. 454-4060.

Evergreen Health Services, Buffalo Primary care, HIV and family care, HIV testing and counseling. (716) 847-0328 Westside Health Services Brown Square Health Center, 175 Lyell Ave. (2546480); Woodward health Center, 480 Genesee St. (436-3040). HIV/AIDS services, support, more.

McCree McCuller Wellness Center at Unity Health's Connection Clinic (585) 368-3200. 89 Genesee St., Bishop Kearney Bldg., 3rd floor. Full range of servcies, regardless of ability to pay. Caring, confidential and convenient.

Catholic Charities AIDS Services A multicultural and bi-lingual staff providing services to a diversity of people infected and affected with HIV.Intensive home-based case management for all ages; a clinical crisis manager; a child/ adolescent case worker; transitional case management for children and family members going through bereavement; recreational and support groups for children and teens, and camping experiences including Camp SOAR. We coordinate HOPWA (Housing Opportunities for People with AIDS) short term emergency assistance with rent/ mortgage/utility payments and limited subsidized housing. 1945 E. Ridge Rd., Suite 24, Rochester NY 14622. (585) 339-9800.

Huther Doyle 360 East Ave., Rochester 14604. Offers drug, alcohol prevention, education, treatment. Risk Reduction Plus Team offers servcies to HIV positive and those at risk through substance use.

Programs include outreach, transitional case

management, free cconfidential testing (OraQuick Rapid Testing). NYS Dep't. of Health offers free on-site confidential and anonymous testing.

(585)325-5100, M-F 8 am-9 pm, www.hutherdoyle.com.

Geneva Community Health 601 W. Washington St., Geneva. Provides HIV testing, HIV specialty and primary care for residents of Ontario and surrounding counties.

Mon.-Thurs. 9 am-5 pm; Fridays 9 am-noon.

315-781-8448.

family Rochester Gay Moms’ Group Support group for lesbian mommies and wannabe mommies in Rochester and surrounding areas. Subscribe: RochesterGayMoms-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.

Pride & Joy Families In Rochester, contact Karen Goulet, kgoulet@ PrideandJoyFamilies.org or 244-8640 x 40.

Lesbian & Gay Family Building Project Claudia E. Stallman, Project Director, Ferre Institute, Inc. 124 Front St., Binghampton, NY 13905, Phone: (607) 724-4308; Fax: (607) 724-8290; E-mail: LesGayFamBldg@aol.com: Web: www.PrideAndJoyFamilies.org Families Joined by Love Books and resources for LGBT families. www.familiesjoinedebylove.org.

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) PFLAG’s threefold mission: supporting parents and family members in coming out process; educating the community; advocating on behalf of LGBT family members. Regular meetings: first Tuesday 7-9 pm, St. Thomas Episcopal Church, corner Winton and Highland; third Sunday, 2-4 pm, Nopper Room, fifth floor, Auditorium Center, 875 E. Main St. PFLAG@ gagv.us; 585-244-8640 x27.

LGBT health

For a list of LGBT-friendly and competent health and human service providers in the Rochester and Finger Lakes area, visit the resource directory page(s) at www.everybodysgood.com. These pages are compiled and managed by AIDS Care.

If you are a provider, or know of one, who would like to be included, contact them through the website or contact Erik Libey directly at (585) 210-4192.

Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley See www.gayalliance.org Resource Directory under “Health” for GAGV referrals to physicians and service agencies.

Women HEALTH:

Highland Hospital Breast Imaging Center 500 Red Creek Drive, Rochester 14623; 585487-3300. Specializing in breast health, diagnostic breast imaging and treatment and mammography outreach and education.

Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester 840 University Ave.; 585-473-8177; www.bccr. org; email: info@bccr.org. Breast Cancer Coalition provides support services that include Brown Bag Fridays: an informal discussion group that meets weekly from 12:00-1:30; Breast Cancer 101 and 201: programs designed to help those coping with a recent breast cancer diagnosis and those coping with an advanced breast cancer diagnosis; Sister Sak: a program that addresses the issues facing young women with breast cancer; and the Advanced Breast Cancer Support Group to support women living with metastatic breast cancer. The Breast Cancer Coalition also provides information about breast cancer, a lending library, and a monthly educational program.

All BCCR programs and support services are free.

Monroe County Women’s Health Partnership 111 Westfall Rd., Rochester NY 14692; (585)274-6978. Comprehensive breast cancer screening services for uninsured and underinsured women.

Elizabeth Wende Breast Clinic 170 Sawgrass Drive. 442-8432. Dr. Wende Logan-Young and an all-woman staff provide mammograms.

SHARE: Self Help for Women with Breast or Ovarian Cancer NYS Hotline: 1-866-53SHARE or 1-866-5374273.

AIDS Rochester Women’s Health Outreach 259 Monroe Ave. ARI has services for HIV positive women and others in the lesbian community. 442-2220.

AIDS Care 259 Monroe Ave. 244-9000; TTY (585)4619202. HIV and Primary care medical services for HIV positive women, their negative partners and family members. OB/GYN, HIV pre-test and post-test counseling. Confidential or free HIV testing.

Alternatives for Battered Women 232-7353; TTY 232-1741. Shelter (women only), counseling. Lesbians, gay men welcome.

GAGV Anti Violence Project 585-244-8640 ext 17. For women and men.

Victim Resource Center of Wayne County Newark N.Y. Hotline 800-456-1172; office (315)331-1171; fax (315)331-1189.

Mary Magdalene House Women's outreach center for HIV positive women and women at risk. 291 Lyell Ave. Open Mon-Fri. 6:30-9:30 pm 458-5728.

Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Toll-free Helpline: 1-866-600-6886. Planned Parenthood has led the way in providing high quality, affordable reproductive health care since 1916. Our experienced and compassionate medical staff will listen to your concerns and answer your questions in a warm, welcoming atmosphere. All our services are confidential.

We accept most insurances; including Medicaid. You may even qualify for low- to no-cost family planning services. When you make your appointment, be sure to ask about our sliding scale fees. No one is turned away for lack of ability to pay.

POLITICAL:

National Organization for Women (Greater Rochester NOW) PO Box 93196; (585)234-7019. E-mail: info@rochesternow.org Web page: http:// www.rochesternow.org.

CULTURAL:

Rochester Women’s Community Chorus 234-4441. (See Ongoing calendar).

ONLINE: WOWcny: e-mail: WOWcny@aol.com Rochester NY Lesbians; groups.aol.com/rochstrlesbians

GENERAL:

Women’s Resource Center YWCA, 175 N. Clinton Ave. 546-7740.

Color Outside the Line Crew Contact Jackie Williams, 482-4945.

Check our monthly and ongoing Calendars and the Gay Groups section for more groups and events. For more information, call the GAGV at 244-8640 or see www.gayalliance. org. And send us your information!

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september 2010 • number 438 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Groups Find the friends and fun you need in your neighborhood of the LGBT community.

Butch Femme Connection The Rochester Butch-Femme Connection supper club will have two events in September 2010.

On Saturday, Sept. 11, we will meet at Moe’s Mexican Restaurant on Jefferson Rd. in Henrietta at 7 p.m.

On Saturday, Sept. 25, we will meet at Famous Dave’s BBQ on West Ridge Road in Greece at 7 p.m.

For further information on the Connection, e-mail DressyFemme@aol.com or call Kerry/Max at (585) 288-7208. We now have a Facebook page – check out Rochester Butch Femme Connection!

Dignity Integrity D-I Rochester continues to meet weekly at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St., corner of Broad St. We have the following services and activities for the month of August. Please note that all services start at 5 p.m.

First Sunday: Episcopal Mass, with music.

Second Sunday: Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, with music.

Third Sunday: Episcopal Mass in the Chapel; no music this week.

Fourth Sunday: Evening Prayer, followed by a Potluck Supper.

The theme for the September Potluck is “Farm Market Fare”. Visit your local farmers market, roadside stand or the Public Market (or the produce section in your

favorite grocery store) and share your favorite dish. No time to fix something? Join us anyway; there is always plenty for everyone!

Reminder: Change in meeting place on Sept. 5; the church will not be open on that evening (first Sunday of the month).

Fr. John Andrews will preside for our 5 p.m. Episcopal Mass at his home in Lima, followed by a potluck picnic style meal.

Bring what you want to grill, and a dish to pass. Paper goods and beverages will be provided. All are welcome to join us!

Directions are on our website.

Keep your calendar open, too, because on Oct. 3 we’ll celebrate 35 years of service to the GLBT community. We’ve lined up a great place, Shea’s on East Avenue, for the event. Since it is a first Sunday, we’ll have an Episcopal Mass with lots of music. We’ll head over to Shea’s after the Mass.

All details for reserving a spot at the party can be found at our website. Drop us a line or call our Hot Line; email and phone numbers are available on our website, http://www.di-rochester.org/. We’d love to see you there!

Empire Bears Camping season is sadly coming to an end for those BEARS who like to spend time in the great outdoors. Jones Pond, Hillside, and Oneida will be open through September, but the summer season is over. Empire Bear members who are seasonals welcome our friends who plan to visit us at camp where there are some great themed weekends left, and sites are open.

Here in Rochester, the BEARS will be getting into the swing of Fall. BEARnight at the FORUM, always the first Saturday, falls on Labor Day weekend, Sept. 4.

Membears will be there, free snacks will be shared, and the street meat is always hot. Then on Saturday, Oct. 2, we’ll welcome our friends the ARCTOS BEARS from Ohio. Parties will happen.

Potlucks will begin again, every second Saturday. We meet at the GAGV Youth Center, first floor of the Auditorium Center, 875 E Main St. Enter through the handicapped entrance that faces Prince St. Our meetings are held on the fifth floor in the GAGV’s Nopper meeting room, on first Wednesdays at 7:45. But, if you want to meet members in a casual setting and get to know us, try coming to the Wintonaire for supper at 6 every Wednesday. Becky has been our waitress for 14 years. We’ve followed her to five diners over the years; she’s that good.

Looking ahead, many membears will be joining the RGMC for another season. In October, we’ll be the community co-sponsor of an Image Out film. For more details, go to www.empirebears.org. WOOF!

Gay Square Dance Group – The Lilac Squares The summer is almost over, and we are planning an Open Dance at 140 Alex on Oct. 2. There is an ad for this dance in this paper. Looking forward to seeing and dancing with you in October!

The Lilac Squares meets each Monday at the Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church located on 740 Marshall Rd., Rochester, 14624 at 7 p.m. We are currently learning some unique expressions common to the gay/lesbian clubs throughout the country.

We are a lively and friendly group made up of singles, couples, men, and women, young and young at heart; when we aren’t learning new calls, we are telling stories, jokes, and lively anecdotes. We usually learn a couple of new calls each night, and if we make mistakes, our caller

will review the calls for us. We are a very easy-going group, and missteps happen.

There will someone there to guide you to where you need to be. The night is for fun and having a good time.

For more information, call Matt 5205358, or e-mail mfleig@rochester.rr.com.

Hope to see you soon.

Just Us Guys Thanks to Ron Matter who suggested and coordinated our August cruise of the Erie Canal on the Colonial Belle. Some 15 guys enjoyed a fine summer evening and the opportunity to learn about the canal, the Fairport lift bridge, the Port of Pittsford and especially the passage through Lock 32. A good time was had by all, including a stop by the local ice cream shop following the cruise!

On Sept. 14 the group returns to AIDS Care Dining Room, 259 Monroe Ave., for an end of summer potluck dinner. Gathering time is 6:30 p.m. For planning purposes, if you have not already signed up, it is helpful to know that you will be attending. RSVP by calling Ron at 223-2629. Guests or prospective new members are welcome to attend. This gathering will also serve as a time to discuss ideas for upcoming meetings.

For more information about the group, contact Ron at 223-2629 or email rmatter1@rochester.rr.com

Rainbow SAGE

By Brian Hurlbert On Sunday, Aug. 15, 2010, Rainbow SAGE of the Genesee Valley held its Rainbow SAGE Reunion Picnic at Ellison Park. The day started out dark and rainy, so we only expected a few people to come.

Boy, were we surprised.

Our friends, past and present, just kept coming and coming, with a grand total of 67 in attendance. We had hamburgers, hot dogs and plenty of dishes to (Groups continue page 16)

271-4040

kconhead@aproposfp.com www.aproposfp.com Phone: (585) 533-1950

Kay Conheady, CFP® Fee-only

Objective advice for the LGBT community from one of your own!

Elaine Elkins, M.S. Psychotherapist 244-4837

Individual & Relationship Counseling Anxiety & Depression Loneliness & Separation Conflict Resolution Communication Skills Sexual Abuse Recovery Drug & Alcohol Abuse Grief & Loss

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 438 • september 2010 Sept. 27 – Our women’s group meets the last Monday of the month at Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. Come relax, have a nice dessert, and bring a topic. Your host is Eileen Brophy. Time is 11 a.m.

Coming soon is our next dance on Saturday, Nov. 6 at DUPC. More info to come! Watch your Empty Closet.

(Groups continued from page 15) pass. We all had to gather under the shelter at the start to keep out of the rain, but I think that just made us closer and it was easier to greet everyone. We really had a good mix of people too, both young and old and gay and straight.

The entertainment was three-fold. We had Linda Hanley as our Tarot card reader; she had a total of 18 people visit throughout the day. We also had Mike Kornish, musician extraordinaire, playing songs we could all tap a foot to and singa-long with his guitar, banjo, and ukulele.

We also gave out prizes to the oldest and youngest person, people who drove the farthest, and even those who had the most artificial body parts.

Thanks so much to everyone for coming, and thanks to everyone who worked hard to make this a success. It was our best picnic ever. Photos on page A 18.

Wish you had joined us? Well be sure not to miss our next events in September.

Sept. 8 – Join our men’s group, meeting this month at home of Paul M. For directions and more information, contact Tony Perri at rtony13@aol.com. Bring a topic to discuss and make new friends.

Time is 6:30 p.m.

Sept. 11 – It’s time for Coffee & Conversation. This is one of the best ways to get to know some of us up close and personal. The location is Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. Brian Hurlburt, Vice President of Rainbow SAGE, will be there to greet you. Time is 10 a.m.

Sept. 12 – Let’s get back to Euchre. We are meeting a little later this month due to Labor Day. Location is South Wedge Planning Committee, 224 Mt. Hope, corner of Hamilton. Time is 3 p.m. RSVP to Ginny at rudinandreaxx@aol.com to play as space is limited.

Sept. 19 – It’s our Third Sunday Potluck. We are back at First Universalist Church, 150 South Clinton. Time is 4 p.m. Please bring your favorite dish to pass. Check out our website, rainbowsage. org for information and food theme.

Rochester GLBTQI Motorcycle Group What an active month! Our club had a motorcycle rally at Jones Pond; we had guys from Pennsylvania, and Canada show up, and my bike has just turned over 66,000 miles. Great time there!

Our group is made up of newbies, people who put on a lot of mileage, and long time bikers. We are all joined, apart from the obvious, by our sport, and helping each other. A real nice group of people!

For more information, look at our Yahoo group profile: RochesterGLBTQIbikers. You can also call Bob at 4676456, or e-mail bmdaniels@frontiernet. net. Let’s ride with pride!

Rochester Rams M.C.

The Rams 35th anniversary run is now a memory, and a most pleasant one indeed. Those in attendance at our private campground spent the weekend swimming, eating, drinking and socializing as we all “communed” with nature for three relaxing days.

Following this summer of unbelievable heat and humidity, a getaway to the serene surroundings of the countryside was just what the Rams Run is all about.

As we move into autumn, we will begin planning for our year-end activities; our annual “Rape and Pillage” on Nov. 24 and our yearly toy drive in December. We hope to see you at our next barnight on Sept. 18 at the Forum.

The Rochester Rams M.C. is Rochester New York’s foremost gay motorcycle

and leather club as well as being one of the oldest clubs of its type in the country.

All who are interested in the leather club scene are invited to check us out.

Our general meeting is open to the public and we meet the Wednesday before bar night at 7:30 p.m. Meetings are held at our home bar, the Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. Our next general meeting will be on Wednesday, Sept. 15. For more info, please visit our website: www.rochesterrams.com.

of the holidays with timeless classics such as “Little Drummer Boy” and “The First Noel.”

The March 2011 show, “Moments in Time,” will feature songs like “Many a New Day” and “Music of the Night.”

Rehearsal begins at 7 p.m. at the church. Those interested in joining the chorus are welcome to arrive at 6:30 p.m. for voice placement. Further information is available at www.thergmc.org or by calling (585) 423-0650.

RGMC

Rochester Transgender Organization

The Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus will hold the first rehearsal of its 28th season on Thursday, Sept. 9, 7 p.m. at the Downtown United Presbyterian Church, 121 North Fitzhugh St. in Rochester.

Throughout its history, the RGMC has continually sought to better the world for our community and beyond. Through harmony of voice and music comes a ubiquitous harmony of spirit and belonging.

Over 50 chorines unite in song during any given season at the RGMC, but members also unite and volunteer out in the community. Perhaps the greatest gift is that of song. Singing together with a common purpose is not only fun, enjoyable and open to anyone; it also has the power to bring a person to a different time and place from within.

Under the artistic direction of Dr. Robert Strauss, a lecturer of voice and opera at SUNY Fredonia and Nazareth College, this season bursts of promise and new memories. Strauss looks forward to meeting new members and longtime friends at the first rehearsal on Sept. 9.

“I hope to have us all singing at our first rehearsal as we make great music, great memories and great friends,” Strauss said.

The 28th season for the RGMC will feature a rich, melodious journey of various styles, moods and influences from show-stoppers to tearjerkers. The holiday concert, “12: The Christmas Experience,” will focus on the deeper meanings

Rochester Transgender Organization (RTO), formerly the Rochester Transgender Group, marched in the Pride Parade in July. Members rode in style in a trans pride-decorated vintage 1972 Lincoln Continental, which was a big hit with the spectators along the route.

Thanks to everyone who made this a success.

The RTO will have two events this month. The first will occur at our secondTuesday meeting on Sept. 8, and will feature a special guest from the medical field.

The second event will be the RTO’s annual picnic, held Sept. 25 at the Greece Canal Park’s Towpath Lodge, off Elmgrove Rd. just north of the Erie Canal and the end of Ridgeway Avenue. Meats and beverages will be provided. Please bring a dish to pass, such as pasta salads, veggies, cheese trays, chips, desserts etc. The picnic will start at 2 p.m.

The RTO has a new website: www. rochestertransgenderorganization.org. If you have questions, call RTO’s Executive Director, Misty LaCroix, at 454-1579.

On Oct. 30, the RTO will have a matinee movie during our 2:30-5 p.m. regular Saturday meeting in the GAGV Youth Center, on the ground floor at 875 E. Main St. ■

585 244-8640 x17 or confidential online report form at: www.gayalliance.org

You Deserve To Have Your Marriage Blessed & Celebrated Rev. Denise Donato • revdenise@rochester.rr.com • 585-329-0895 14 years experience preparing and celebrating gay & straight marriages

Joe Russo, Psy.D., CGP

o et t e k c Ro hang C

Licensed Psychologist Certified Group Psychotherapist 25 Canterbury Road, Suite 308 Rochester, New York 14607 Phone: (585) 506-6096 E-mail: drjoerusso@gmail.com

Addiction ▼ Anxiety ▼

Depression ▼ Grief/Loss ▼

Trauma ▼ Relationships ▼

▼ Weekly

Bi/Gay Men’s Therapy Group

A CATHOLIC COMMUNITY WHERE ALL ARE WELCOME 121 N. Fitzhugh Street • Rochester, New York 14614 • Phone: 325-1180 Liturgies: Thursday: 7:00 pm, Saturday: 5:00 pm

Sunday:

7:30 am 9:30 am (at Hochstein, 50 Plymouth Avenue)

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september 2010 • number 438 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet First Tuesdays

7-9pm: Education Sessions St Thomas’ Episcopal Church, 2000 Highland Avenue, Rochester 14618. Guest speakers present information followed by a group discussion.

Third Sundays

2-4pm: Support & Discussion Auditorium Theatre 5th Floor 875 East Main Street Rochester 14605 Facilitated discussion to provide support to attendees while engaging the group in a variety of topics.

(Occurs at the same time as the youth and young adult support groups that occur in the Youth Center on the first floor of the building)

Turner

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$15. Off Service Call Certified Professional Pet Grooming Pick-up & Drop-off Service Available

Anthony G. Sandonato, CPA, J.D. Accounting and Tax Services I am a licensed CPA with over 11 years experience.

I provide accounting and tax services to businesses, individuals, non-profit organizations, estates and trusts. QuickBooks consulting.

Free initial consultation.

(585) 271-2530

585-732-5792

James Del Favero 45 Pavilion Street Rochester, NY 14620

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 438 • september 2010

September

SUNDAY 5

Dignity Integrity Episcopal Mass, with music. 5 pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

MONDAY 6

Labor Day Parade. Pride at Work gathers 9:30 am, corner East Ave. and Strathallan Park.

Auditions for “The Arsonists” at Bread & Water Theatre, 243 Rosedale.

7-10 pm; also Sept. 7. 271-5523.

TUESDAY 7

Rochester Women’s Community Chorus first rehearsal of season. Downtown United Presbyterian Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh St., 6:30 pm-8:45 pm. (585) 234-4441 or www.Therwcc.org.

POV presents “Off and Running”.

10 pm, WXXI. Film about lesbian parents raising adoptive child.

WEDNESDAY 8

Rochester Transgender Organization meeting. Special guest from medical field. 140 Alex Bar & Grill, second floor, 6:30-9 pm. 454-1579.

Rainbow SAGE Men’s Group at home of Paul M. For directions and more information, contact Tony Perri at rtony13@aol.com. Bring a topic to discuss and make new friends. Time is 6:30 p.m.

THURSDAY 9

Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus first rehearsal of season. 7 pm, Downtown United Presbyterian Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh St. www.thergmc.org or (585) 423-0650.

FRIDAY 10

ImageOut Festival Fair. Museum and Science Center, 657 East Ave.; time

TBA. First chance to buy tickets for October festival; see page B 1.

SATURDAY 11

Ride for Pride. To support riders raising money for GAGV, go to http:// www.gayalliance.org/component/content/ article/11-events/283-ride-for-pride.html Butch Femme Connection dinner out at Moe’s Mexican Restaurant on Jefferson Rd. in Henrietta at 7 p.m. 2887208.

Rainbow SAGE Coffee & Conversation. Equal Grounds, 150 South Ave. Brian Hurlburt, Vice President, will be there to greet you. 10 a.m.

SUNDAY 12

Dignity Integrity Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, with music. 5 pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. ImageArt Planning Committee Meeting, noon-1:30 pm, ImageOut Offices, 247 N Goodman St. Rainbow SAGE Euchre. South Wedge Planning Committee, 224 Mt. Hope, corner of Hamilton. 3 p.m. Please RSVP to Ginny at rudinandreaxx@aol. com to play as space is limited.

TUESDAY 14

SERVICES

Rochester’s Best Man to Man Rubdown. Unwind with this degreed, employed, fit, friendly, healthy, Italian GWM. Middle aged, 5’8”, 165 lbs., 32” waist, nonsmoker, d & d free, HIV negative. My 10 plus years experience guarantees your relaxation and satisfaction.

Hotel visit, in call in my home or out call in your residence. Reasonable rates. Discretion appreciated and practiced. Don’t delay, call me today at 585-773-2410(cell) or 585-235-6688(home) or e-mail me at: magichands@rochester.rr.com.

House Boys/House Girls. Landscaping, shopping, errands, handy work, cleaning, driving, windows, house/pet sitting, making dinners, moving in/out help.

Nijinsky’s Last Dance. Benefit for GAGV. 8 pm at 243 Rosedale St. Tickets: $6-$12, BreadandWaterTheatre.org. For more information, call (585)271-5523.

SATURDAY 18

Rochester Rams barnight, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave., 9 pm.-2 am.

Utica/Rome/Herkimer Pride Festival. Hanna Park, Utica, 3-7 pm. 315-7341653.

Blackfriars season opener: “Marie Antoinette: the Color of Flesh”. 8 pm, Blackfriars Theatre, 795 E. Main St. 4541260.

Suzanne Westenhoefer, lesbian comedienne, performs at Corning Museum of Glass Auditorium, 7 p.m. Hosted

by SPECTRA.

SUNDAY 19

Dignity Integrity Episcopal Mass in the Chapel; no music this week. 5 pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Rainbow SAGE Third Sunday Potluck. First Universalist Church, 150 South Clinton. 4 p.m. Please bring your favorite dish to pass. Check rainbowsage.org for speaker information and food theme.

In the Life. LGBT TV newsmagazine.

“State of Equality.” WXXI, 11:30-midnight.

SATURDAY 25

Contact: 585-241-0091. Free quotes. References available.

Treat yourself to a very soothing, relaxing massage by a licensed massage therapist. Massage reduces stress and can enhance your well-being. Convenient central locations. Call John at 585-314-0197.

Martin Ippolito master electrician.

Electrical work, telephone jacks, cable TV, burglar alarm systems, paddle fans.

585-266-6337.

FOR RENT

697 Linden Street. Rent $680 includes trash, sewage, water. Quiet residential neighborhood. Upper two bedroom apartment. Living, dining rooms, bedroom with ceiling fans. Kitchen with many cabinets. Hardwood and tile floors.

Wired for cable. Small backyard. Some off-street parking. Coin-op laundromat at end of street. No pets. No smokers. Application required, no fee. 585-244-9239 for appointment.

FOR SALE

17 Averill Avenue (Historical South Wedge). Call Gallager Realty: Justin Gallagher, 585-230-6955; 585-317-6683.

Asking price $96,500. Four-bedroom home, bath and a half, enclosed porch, patio, private and fenced in backyard.

New windows, hard wood floors. Plus more updates. Great neighborhood and neighbors. ■

MONDAY 27

Rainbow SAGE Women’s Group.

Equal Grounds, 150 South Ave. Come relax, have dessert, and bring a topic. Host is Eileen Brophy. 11 a.m.

THURSDAY 30

Inqueery class: Coming Out. First of two sessions, 7-8:30 pm. Second session Oct. 7. GAGV Community Room, first floor, 875 E. Main St. For information see www.gayalliance.org, follow Education tab.

OCTOBER SATURDAY 2

Pride Conference, Chautauqua.

RainbowPrideConnection.com.

Lilac Squares Barn Dance. 7 pm, 140 Alex Bar & Grill. 520-5358. Free.

Beginners welcome. ■

InQueery class: “LGBT Equality -Where Are We Headed?” 6:30-8 pm, GAGV Community Room, first floor, 875 E. Main St. Presented by Anne Tischer and Todd Plank.

Rochester Rams general meeting.

7:30 pm, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave.

WEDNESDAY 15

Dignity Integrity Evening Prayer, Potluck Supper. Fr. John Andrews will preside at 5 pm Episcopal Mass at his home in Lima, followed by potluck picnic. Bring what you want to grill, and a dish to pass.

Autumn in New York: Vernon Duke’s Broadway. Klea Blackhurst does Vernon Duke classics in a benefit for the School of the Arts. 2 & 7 pm, SOTA, 45 Prince St. $35; $25 students, seniors.

242-0290.

MONDAY 20

THURSDAY 23

Classified ads are $5 for the first 30 words; each additional 10 words is another $1. We do not bill for classifieds, so please send or bring ad and payment to: The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14605. Paying by check: checks must be made out to Gay Alliance or GAGV. The deadline is the 15th of the month, for the following month’s issue. We cannot accept ads over the phone. Pay when you place your ad. We will accept only ads accompanied by name and phone number. Neither will be published, but we must be able to confirm placement. The Empty Closet is not responsible for financial loss or physical injury that may result from any contact with an advertiser. Advertisers must use their own box number, voice mail, e-mail or personal address/phone number.

Scholarship funds available. The Rainbow Amateur Radio Association, serving the GLBT community of ham radio operators since 1995, seeks a young individual who can qualify to receive some college scholarship money, probably $1,000. Must be high school student, male or female, who intends to head to college, and is either a ham radio operator currently, or enrolled in a class to obtain his or her license. For information, check out our web site: www.rara.org; to apply, contact PO Box 18541, Rochester, NY 14618-0541.

FRIDAY 17

Primary election. Registered voters need to get OUT and vote for the candidates of their choice.

Just Us Guys potluck. AIDS Care dining room, 259 Monroe Ave. 6:30 pm.

RSVP 223-2629.

Classifieds ANNOUNCEMENTS

Empty Closet deadline for Oct. issue. 244-9030 or susanj@gayalliance. org. Please send ads to ecads@gayalliance. org.

Inqueery: Word Is Out. Historic gay film from 1978. 6:30-9 pm, GAGV Youth Center, first floor, 875 E. Main St. Free.

Rochester Transgender Organization picnic. Greece Canal Park Towpath Lodge. Bring dish to pass. 2 pm. 4541579.

Butch Femme Connection dinner out at Famous Dave’s BBQ on West Ridge Road in Greece at 7 pm 288-7208.

SUNDAY 26

Wedding March. Organized by Marriage Equality NY (MENY). 2 pm march from Monroe County Office Building to Genesee Crossroads Park for rally, festival.

(See page A 1). 585-278-4190, or e-mail todd.plank@gmail.com.

Robert Daniels 585-467-6456 Guaranteed Clock Cleaning and Repair

Veterinary Hospital Andy Fleming, DVM Aida Aponte-Lann, DVM 1311 Marsh Road Pittsford, NY 14534 (585) 248-9590

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september 2010 • number 438 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Ongoing Calendar

Gay & Lesbian Cancer Support Group Second Thursdays, 6-7:30pm, Gilda’s Clubhouse, 255 Alexander St. RSVP: 423-9700; info@ gildasclubrochester.org

Monday

FRIDAY

LGBT Support Group New Life Presbyterian Church, 243 Rosedale.

First, 3rd Mondays, 7:30-9:30 pm. Carol, 482-3832.

Lilac Squares Gay Square Dance Group Mondays, 7pm, Open Arms MCC, 740 Marshall Rd. 520-5358; mfleig@rochester.rr.com.

Free syphilis testing AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave., 5-8pm. 442-2220.

Rochester Historical Bowling Society 7:15pm, Mondays. Clover Lanes, 2750 Monroe Ave. (Group is full.)

HIV Positive Gay Men Support group Every Monday, 5pm, AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. GAGV Youth Drop-In Hours Mondays, Wednesdays, 2-6pm, GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, first floor. 244-8640, ext 13.

Frontrunners/Frontwalkers Mondays, 6pm, George Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org.

Steps Beyond Stems Crack Support Group Mondays, 7-8pm, 289 Monroe Ave. GAGV Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center Every Monday. 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640.

Tuesday Just Us Guys Gay men of all ages. Second Tuesdays, 6:30pm, AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. 223-2629 Civil Rights Front Every Tuesday, 7pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. http://www.civilrightsfront.wordpress.com Two Spirit Group Second Tuesdays, 7:30pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. PFLAG program meeting First Tuesdays. 7-9pm meeting.

St. Thomas Church, Winton & Highland.

CampusOut Coffee Night First Tuesdays, 7-10pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. MOCHA Youth Drop-In Tues.-Fri., 1-9pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way, 420-1400; 244-8640 MOCHA Hepatitis Clinic Free Hepatitis A & B vaccinations, third Tuesdays, 5:30-7pm, 107 Liberty Pole Way, 420-1400 Rainbow SAGE Yoga 6-7pm Open Arms MCC, 125 Norris Drive, 442-6369.

Pride 2010 committee meeting Third Tuesdays. GAGV Community Room, 1st floor, 875 E. Main St. 6:30-8pm. Everyone welcome to plan Pride 2010 (July 11-18).

244-8640.

Women’s Community Chorus Rehearsals each Tuesday, 6:30-9pm, Downtown United Pres. Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh Street.

234-4441, www.therwcc.org Free HIV Testing Every Tuesday, 9am-7pm. AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave.

Wednesday Charlie’s Group Third Wednesdays. Monthly peer-facilitated suppport group for married men who have sex with men. Confidential, free. 6:30pm. For info: Scott, 244-8640 x 20; ScottF@gagv.us.

Country Line Dancing/Two Stepping Every Wednesday, Muthers, 40 S. Union, 7pm, Lessons followed by dancing until 10pm, Beginners to advanced.

U.R. Pride Network 7:30pm, Gamble Room in Rush Rhees Library. urpride@gmail.com

Transgender Group Third Wednesdays. 6:30-9pm. 140 Alex Bar & Grill 140 Alexander St. second floor meeting room Gay Alliance Board of Directors Meets Third Wednesdays, 6pm, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640 New Freedom New Happiness AA Gay meeting, 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd. Men and women. Open.

Support Group for Parents Who Have Lost Children First, 3rd Wednesdays, 11am-12:30pm, Third Presbyterian Church, 4 Meigs St. Genesee Region Home Care. Free. 325-1880 COAP Come Out and Play. Business meeting last Wednesday. Equal Grounds Coffee Shop, 750 South Ave. 7pm, John S., 261-7263.

Empire Bears First Wednesdays, 7:45pm, GAGV Community Center, 875 E. Main St., fifth floor. info@ empirebears.org Rochester Rams General Meeting 2nd Wednesdays, 7:30pm, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. www.rochesterrams.com Multicom-4 Coffee Talk 7pm, Spin Café, 739 Park Av. Social for former Multicom-4 BBS members; other glbt cyber geeks welcome, every fourth Wednesday, 8pm Brothers Keeper Support group for men over 30. Third Wednesdays, 5:30-7:30pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way. 420-1400 GAGV Youth Drop-In Hours Mondays, Wednesdays, 3-7pm, GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, first floor. 244-8640 ext 13.

Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 6pm, Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org.

GAGV Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center Every Wednesday. 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640.

Thursday Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns 6:30pm, first Thursday. Ralph, 271-7649 Queer Radical Reading Group First and third Thursdays, 7pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. Pride at Work First Thursdays, 5:30pm. 167 Flanders St. off Thurston Rd. 426-0862.

Trans Action Group (TAG) Information: Peter Vaillancourt, sk8forether@ gmail; list serve at transactiongroup@ googlegroups.com GLOB&L (Gays and Lesbians of Bausch & Lomb).

Meets every third Thursday in Area 67 conference room at the Optic Center. Voice mail: 338-8977 Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus Downtown United Presbyterian Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh St. 6:30-9pm, 423-0650 Free confidential walk-in HIV testing Every Thursday night, 5-8pm, AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. 442-2220 Partner Bereavement Group First and third Thursdays, 5:30-7pm. Open dropin session; professionally led. Freewill donation to hospice requested. Lifetime Care, 3111 Winton Road, 214-1414 MOCHA/GAGV Youth Trans Group First Thursdays, 5-7pm, GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main St., first floor (Prince St. entrance).

244-8640 ext 13.

AQA Support group for transgender people of color.

Third Thursdays, 5:30-7pm, MOCHA, 107 Liberty Pole Way. 420-1400.

Second Thursdays Social and business networking, 5:30-7:30pm.

Changing venues. E-mail fingerlakes@ outandequal.org

Gay Men's AA meeting Fridays, 7:30-8:30pm, Closed meeting. Emmanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. GLBTQI Motorcycle Group Second Fridays, 5:30pm, Various locations.

RochesterGLBTIQbikers@yahoo.com; 478-1565; bmdaniels@frontiernet.net.

SATURDAY Rochester Rams Bar Night Third Saturdays, 8pm-2am, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. 271-6930 Empire Bears Bar Night First Saturdays. Bachelor Forum, 470 University Ave. www.empirebears.org.

Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 9am, George Eastman House parking lot.www. rochesterfrontrunners.org.

Empire Bears Potluck 2nd Saturdays, GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main, first floor, Prince St. entrance. 6:30pm greet; 7pm dinner. Bring dish to pass. www. empirebears.org.

Cross Dresser Support Group First Saturdays, 6-9pm, call for location: 251-2132; RCDNET@hotmail.com Transgender Group Last Saturdays, 2:30-5pm, Gay Alliance Community Room, 875 E. Main St., first floor (next to Youth Center).

Guys Night Out Third Saturdays. Social group for transguys. 1pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. tguysnightout@ gmail.com.

Saturday Night Special Gay AA 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd. S. Men and women. Open meeting.

Lilac Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf (LRAD) 2nd Saturdays, 6-9pm. rcoaster@rochester.rr.com

Sunday Parents Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) Third Sundays, 2-4pm. Nopper Room, Gay Alliance, fifth floor, 875 E. Main St. PFLAG@ gayalliance.org.

GAGV Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center Every Sunday. 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640.

Tawa Pano Unity Fellowship Church Sundays, 10am, Auditorium Center, 875 E. Main St., Prince St. wing. 568-8391 Dignity-Integrity 5pm, St. Luke’s/St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Every Sunday, 234-5092 Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church 740 Marshall Rd., Chili, 10:30am. 271-8478 Gay Men’s Alcoholics Anonymous St. Luke’s/St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. 8:30pm, 232-6720, Weekly.

Closed meeting GAGV Youth Group Ages 13-23. Every Sunday, 2-4pm, GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. or satellite location. For weekly location check Youth Calendar, www. gayalliance.org or e-mail Jess at JessC@gagv.us.

Rainbow SAGE First Sundays: Euchre Club, 3-6pm. Third Sundays, Potluck at First Universalist Church, 150 S. Clinton Ave., 4pm.

Men’s Cooking Group Third or fourth Sundays, 355-7664.

AA Meetings in Rochester Every week there are four regularly scheduled GLBTI AA meetings in Rochester.

Wednesdays

New Freedom/New Happiness Group

7 p.m. at the First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: Take the last #18 University bus to 12 Corners. Use the stop just past the top of the hill at Hillside Ave. and before Highland Ave. Or take the #1 Park Ave. to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton. This is an open discussion meeting. All issues – as they relate to our alcoholism/addiction and recovery – are fair game.

Fridays Gay Men’s

7:30 p.m. Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. • Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • Handicapped accessible This is a round-robin discussion meeting. If you are shy about meeting people or speaking up in a group, you will find this meeting particularly warm and inviting because everyone gets their turn to speak (or pass). As a result, this meeting often runs long, so plan on more than the usual hour.

Saturdays

Saturday Night Special

7 p.m. at the First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: The #18 University Ave. bus does not go by the church on weekend evenings. Take the #1 Park Ave. bus to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton.

• Open meeting, all are welcome, “straight-friendly” • Mixed men and women • Handicapped accessible, take the elevator to the basement Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

Sundays

Rochester Gay Men

8 p.m. at St. Luke/St. Simon’s Episcopal Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Bus riders use the Fitzhugh St. stop on Main St. at the County Office Building and walk south one block.

• Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • NOT handicapped accessible Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 438 • september 2010