Power of "Yes!"

Diego walked into the Club today ready to play dodgeball, instead, he’s making a scarecrow puppet in the art room. Sabrina was excited to hang out with her friends in the gamesroom when she got to the Club, but she’s helping the Halloween Carnival Planning Committee choose games and activities for the big event on the 31st. Dana had just finished her homework and was ready to go check out the new cooking activity in the Kitchen when the site director asked her to give a new member and their parent a tour. These moments are important, but it’s easy to miss why Diego, Sabrina, and Dana are being pushed into new activities. There’s a deeper and more important lesson at work for those who take the time to look a little more closely.

At the Club we believe in the value of discomfort. The discomfort of saying “yes,” to new challenges and opportunities is really a mask for personal growth. Diego wasn't interested in art, but that art activity might change his life and when he sees his art on display at the Club, or featured in a local art show, it changes his whole perspective on the value of that activity and his capabilities in that sphere. Sabrina wanted to hang out in the gamesroom with her friends but now she’s building new relationships, giving her perspective on a project, and helping to make that project a reality with her peers. That kind of teambuilding experience might be vital to her as an adult. Dana was content to get in on the cooking activity that afternoon, but now she’s giving a tour to a peer and an adult. She’s building a relationship in a whole new context. She’s developing public speaking skills and, more, she’s speaking with authority on a subject she knows about. We feel its important to push kids every day to experiment; to step beyond themselves and their comfort zones. So much of their potential is completely unexplored and that only remains true if we allow them to keep doing the same old thing.

There’s a lot of power in this approach. Saying “Yes” helps youth explore themselves through new challenges and opportunities. Look at the alumni list of Boys & Girls Clubs and you’ll find former presidents, world class athletes and performers, high performance executives and leaders. But, behind each of these alumni, was a kid who came to the Club because they knew it was going to be fun. Erroll, now retired Rear Admiral Erroll Brown, just wanted to play basketball, “I had made an art of doing the bare minimum at school and it wasn't until the staff at the Club figured out what I was up to that things started to change. They made sure I had finished my work before I could go play basketball and, aside from academics, that taught me self-discipline. That made all the difference for me.”

Matt Pfaltzgraph, Club alumni and CEO and Founder of the startup Fintech was never one of those kids who ever got great grades, but the ability to talk to peers and mentors was refined right here at the Boys & Girls Club- even if those skills were often used to talk himself out of trouble. As an adult those lessons translate into how he builds and manages teams today and those skills have been vital in the development and success of his many ventures. Saying “Yes” helps youth build new relationships and refine skill sets that build incredible teams.

Saying “Yes” helps youth experiment with failure as a tool for personal growth. That was something that really separated Michael Collins, ESPN Golf Analyst and comedian from his peers. His relationship with failure was very different from his friends and colleagues who were often terrified of or deeply discouraged by failure. “At the Club we were always failing, but that’s the thing. If you’re not failing, you’re not really pushing your boundaries. It’s how you plan for and use failure. That’s the key. That approach also taught me to laugh at myself and that helped ease the burden of being my own worst critic.”

As former Club kids, their relationship to the power of saying “Yes” evolves. This is, after all, a lesson woven into the fabric of the Club experience. It’s natural to think of this as a way to supercharge your personal and professional development, but at the same time it’s very self-absorbed in that we often begin by saying “yes” to things that directly benefit us as individuals. As adults, you reach a point where the power of yes evolves into saying “yes” to and for others. Setting others up for success, setting others up for personal exploration, doing good work for others. It’s often very easy to identify people who come from or have benefitted from environments like this as they’re often the first to volunteer their time, their experience, or their wealth if that investment means lifting others up.

Dana might grow up to be president one day. Diego, might be the next Banksy. Sabrina might be responsible for the development and launch of a new world changing start-up. These experiences and achievements are exactly what we mean when we talk about connecting kids to great futures. But those achievements pale, by comparison to, how these children will give back to their communities as adults; how they will say “yes” to and for others. That’s the deeper lesson at work for those who take the time to look closely. That’s how the power of yes changes the world.