Ethyl’s Place

Varla! Varla! Varla!

By Ethylina Canne

When I think of LEGENDARY queens, Varla Jean Merman is the first person that comes to mind. I’ve seen her more times than Liza Minnelli and have had the pleasure of getting the chance to work along side her in my career. She is someone who I look up to in the entertainment world and if you haven’t had the chance to see her show, you’re in luck. Her brand-new show, hot off the circuit from Provincetown, “Varla Jean Merman’s Ready to Blow” arrives in

Palm Springs beginning Pride weekend! This limited run begins November 3rd and goes through November 11th at Toucans Tiki Lounge.

This show is sure to sell out, so hurry over to www.reactionshows.com to get your tickets today.

I’m so thrilled she was able to take some time to chat with me as she recovers from a life-threatening accident and that the show will go on….

How did you come up with the name Varla Jean Merman?

As a kid, I always loved the name “Darla,” one of the characters in “The Little Rascals.” Oh my God! Talk about an old reference…thank God you have readers in Palm Springs! Anyway, so when I was introduced to the character of “Varla” in the Russ Meyer cult-movie Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! I knew that had to be my drag name. Around the same time, I read Ethel Merman’s autobiography and there is a chapter titled “My Marriage to Ernest Borgnine.” When you turn the page IT’S BLANK! (Wow, more dated references!) I decided, that if Ethel Merman had a baby from Ernest

Borgnine, she would’ve hated it so much because it would’ve reminded her of him and their disastrous 38-day marriage, so she shipped the baby off to an orphanage in Louisiana. That is where my character of Varla was born. And I added the middle name of “Jean” because it just sounds innocent and southern…well, at least I’m southern.

You’ve been performing and entertaining crowds for decades! Out of all those shows, what has been your favorite moment so far in your career?

Yes, I am a proud drag relic, and that’s why I have so many dated references! Performing at the Sydney Opera House was one of the highlights of my “career.” That and the movie “Girls Will Be Girls.”

You “Rule the School” in Provincetown every summer and debut your new show there every year!! What makes that town so special to you?

on the stage because she wanted the stage set to be a reveal, so I was singing in one of the aisles in the audience. Even at that close distance, everyone thought I was a real woman. Back then I could sing very high, but that was before “the drop” and I transitioned from a twink to a bear. One of the great showbiz pioneers of Provincetown, Phyllis Schlossberg, heard about my performance, because very few drag queens were singing live at the time. She came to see me at Caroline’s Comedy Club shortly after in New York City. It just so happened that Joan Rivers was there that night. So, I think it fooled Phyllis into thinking I was a big deal! She booked me and I’ve been there every summer since! This will be my 26th summer! I love performing in Provincetown because I do so many shows, usually about 80 each summer. Because of the repetition, I can really fine-tune a show, so I love that. Also, the people there are so wonderful and so supportive. It is because of Provincetown that drag is my full-time job. I am so grateful!

“Girls will be Girls” is the most EPIC film ever and I think that it’s a right of passing for any LGBTQ+ person. Will there ever be a sequel?

Oh, I love everyone who worked on “Girls Will Be Girls.” It was the most educational thing I could’ve ever done for my career, working with greats like Jack Plotnick and Miss Coco Perú and the writer and director Richard Day. They taught me how to act in film and showed me some of the things you need to know so that you can give the editor more to choose from. The film was even in movie theaters when it came out, but no one went to see it. I even remember someone coming to my show and after saying “Varla! I saw your movie today! I was the only person in the movie theater.” Then, two years later I was walking down the street in Provincetown in drag, and someone driving by threw a handful of candy at me and said, “Take these for the ride you huge cow!” I was truly offended! Then, I remembered that was a line that Evie says to me in the movie. After that, it got bigger and bigger and bigger. We filmed a sequel in 2011, and I’m not exactly sure what happened. Although I am sad that the movie has never come out, and a bit perplexed, it was still one of the greatest three weeks of my life, learning from these comedic greats again. And if that’s all I get from it, it still was completely worth it.

You have the gift of a very dual life of Varla and Jeffery. You can go from a chanteuse to a daddy in the drop of hat. I think it’s so refreshing to see someone live out loud no matter if they have a wig on or not. What was the driving force to begin the path to building up your body?

I have had many different phases in my life. When I was young, I was very obese until I was about 30. In fact, I weighed 300 pounds when I opened for Lipsinka in Provincetown. I lost over 100 pounds because I was cast in a modern dance piece in New York City that was going to move off Broadway. I wasn’t a dancer, but I could move well. But a fat girl doing high kicks in a corset eight shows a week seemed like an invitation for a heart attack. I lost the weight and then I didn’t end up doing the piece because I was cast in the Broadway touring company of “Chicago.” It was during that time that I realized I was athletic. I started doing CrossFit and totally loved the community of group exercise. It took my fear away. I realized that I never tried to be athletic as a kid because of fear. CrossFit has nothing to do with making your body look a certain way. The goal is to be as athletic and in shape as possible to do certain tasks. But I started to really like the way I looked. Then I started to get a kick out of making Varla a total illusion. I am not that lady person, so it was almost more fun to trick the audience into thinking I was.

She fell and she couldn’t get up! You have just recovered from an injury that left you temporarily in a wheelchair. You went with the “show must go on” attitude and finished out your time in Ptown and altered your show to make it work. How important is it to have a positive attitude when tragedy hits and how have you delt with the steps needed to heal?

During my show in Provincetown, I slipped on a TicTac during my dance break in “Anything Goes” and had a bone break! I used TicTac’s as pills and every night they would be all over the floor. Usually I would just crush them, but that night I decided to do a fancy pivot, and the TicTac‘s were like marbles from “Showgirls.” Someone said they saw Miss Richfield with an empty bag of marbles fleeing the scene! [Laughs] I fell so hard, my knee bent completely the wrong way fast and hard and I snapped my quad tendon and fractured my knee cap. The bigger the girl, the harder the fall. I was rushed to the hospital, which is an hour and a half away, with my kneecap sticking up through my pantyhose! After surgery, the next night alone in a hotel room in Hyannis, Massachusetts, I felt defeated that my show and my season were over. But then I started to think of the jokes and how I could work this accident into the show. I have always used comedy in the most tragic moments of my life, I guess to survive. I thought “Fuck this. I’ll just do the damn show in a wheelchair. It will be hilarious, with a hint of desperation, which really works for Varla!” The audiences were amazing! And I never broke a sweat! I think I’m gonna do my shows in a hospital bed next year. The people in Provincetown brought me to tears every night, showing their support! They even brought TicTac’s and shook them as they applauded, making the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard.

After I finished my last week of shows, I went home, and I started physical therapy. I had to cancel all my gigs in September and October because I wanted to heal correctly. And patiently. So, coming to Palm Springs is my comeback! I may still be in a leg brace, but I am going to give a hell of a show because I have truly missed the audiences so much.

What is one thing that you haven’t done as Varla that is on your bucket list?

I used to have lofty dreams of being the world’s most famous drag queen. I think someone beat me to it. So, I’ll settle being the world’s most famous drag queen taken down by a breath mint.

See you at the show! Joyfully,

Ethyl

MIKE MULDERRIG

The right place the right time

By Alexander Rodriguez

You may know Mike as the bad boy of reality TV with stints on Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club, Ex on the Beach, and the most recent All Star Shore, or from his successful YouTube channel doling out cocktail or life advice, or even from his podcast, The Messy Pod, but that’s only part of the story. Known for his impishly good looks and proclivity to overindulge, Mike is growing up and is ready to part with some of his past ways and look to the future.

Mike’s start in entertainment wasn’t even focused on appearing on screen. He worked in communications and marketing and served as a PA. His debut in reality TV happened like a Hollywood myth, being discovered at the right place at the right time by a casting team.

I was a PA and as we all know, PAs make no money. Then I walked by the Abbey in West Hollywood) and I was approached, “Hey, do you wanna work in Greece for the summer?” I thought it was a job! And then they were like, “By the way, we’re gonna film it. It’s gonna be a TV show.” And I was like, Okay, cool. And then they took my pants off and got me fired.

Yes, his debut in reality TV on Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club was cut short, but the damage was done, he was a bonafide reality TV star. Cast as a bartender/VIP ambassador, Mike’s bad boy image immediately solidified as he went over and above to make sure his customers were happy, whether that meant over-imbibing with them, flirting with them (no matter the gender), making out with them (no matter the gender), or even parading around naked encouraging touching (and more). Lindsay was having none of it as it threatened to damage her brand. (No comment, Lindsay.) But Mike’s behavior and frat boy good looks (and open sexuality) instantly made him a show standout and his star was on the rise. He quickly learned the game and his PA days were over.

I always tell people, LA is all about putting yourself in the right spot, and you have top act right when you’re there. I’m not somebody who acts right all the time. Trust me.

Above all, Mike owns his “stuff.” Unlike other reality TV people who can play at being a certain personality or of a certain level, Mike is just Mike.

That’s why I think they like me on these shows, because I call it out. We call it posing on the show and I don’t do that. If you look at every show I’ve been on, I’ve only ever fought with the people I was friends with previously because they were the ones I actually cared about. Obviously, I’ve watched Housewives, I love Housewives. So, the only thing I told myself was, I’m going to go there. I don’t care if I look bad. People can tell I’m not an actor. None of us are going on an acting audition.

It WAS a lot to handle. Viewers of MTV’s Ex on the Beach saw Mike’s tumultuous best friendship turned romance with trans model Arisce on display, bumps and all. Add in some kissing and flirting from other cast mates, and Mike wasn’t always presented in the best light. In true Mike form, he has a lot to say about the experience.

First of all, everyone said I gaslit her. I let her know exactly what was going to happen. She wanted to be open, and I didn’t. So I said, “You wanna see open? I’m gonna hook up with people in front of you.” And then when I did, she’s like, “You’re a cheater. You’re a monster.” And everyone just sided with her and said I was a monster.

Although the edited version of Mike’s storyline wasn’t presented through rose-colored glasses, the MTV generation got to see and experience a queer relationship, a trans relationship without presenting it as out of the norm. It was just a relationship, and that was that. Although Mike’s experience may not have been ideal, the LGBTQ community was getting representation in mainstream media. But Mike expects more from reality TV.

MTV didn’t know how to handle queer people. Representation is great, but in production, there needs to be queer producers to produce queer people. Arisce and I were like, okay, let’s be open. They had no idea what to do. They’re like, “what do you mean, open?” I’m like, “well I love her, but I’m just going to sleep with other people in the house.” They had no idea what to do.

Mike’s sexuality has often been a focus of whichever show he is on, the media headlines, or social media comments. Mike brushes it off, he is who he is. Raised in a staunchly Italian upbringing, his blossoming sexuality was not met with the resistance one would assume from a conservative culture. The idea of masculine versus feminine, though, would still be an experience.

There was never a “you can’t be gay.” Growing up for someone like my dad who was more of the leader, he never made fun of me or bullied me or made me feel bad. He was his high school

bully so, when I was feminine, he thought I was opening myself up to being bullied. When he would put me in sports and put that pressure on me, that wasn’t really him trying to bully me, it was him trying to protect me, which was wrong. Any parents out there, just tell your kids they’re perfect the way they are. You don’t have to do anything to prove it. But my dad didn’t know that - he knows that now.

But now that I’m out and I live proud, I’m like, you know, you guys made me do this to prove that I wasn’t going to be that queer kid, that I wasn’t going to be that little feminine boy that the parents in town used to cancel play dates with with because they didn’t want their kids to catch the gay. Now, it’s like, I beat all your kids in sports. I did all those things that were supposed to prove how straight and masculine I was and now I’m gay as can be.

In addition to his sexuality and his antics, Mike’s body has often taken center stage. His Italian good looks, his biceps, and his signature booty have made him a star on both MTV and social media. How does Mike juggle his sex symbol stardom with his advancing career?

Let’s be real, sex sells, the body sells. If I want more likes on Instagram, let me be in a piece of underwear just to prove to myself that I can get it. This is a tool in LA - the looks - they’re a tool that helps without a doubt. But I don’t want that to be my focus. I always say I would rather someone compliment my comedy or my bartending skills or my editing ability or my production quality over my looks any day. And that’s why I don’t lead with it. But we all gotta play the game, but I try hard not to. At the end of the day, we could all look good. It’s a job, though, to look good. We all know how much work it takes to look good. It’s hard. But at the end of the day, I want to be known for my skills. That is what’s going to take you farther.

Photos Courtesy of Mike Mulderrig

Mike dropped a pretty sobering video on his YouTube…he was walking away. From reality TV? From drinking? From what?

I am walking away from the party scene in West Hollywood. There are things that I know I can’t handle, I shouldn’t do, I don’t want to do. And it’s not me preaching or judging – there are just things and substances that I don’t want to do. Sometimes it’s even hard for me to go out and support my friends and be in the culture of West Hollywood. There’s nothing wrong if you want to have fun, do it. But I just want something different for myself and I want to focus. And that’s what I was doing, I make these videos called heart to hearts because my YouTube channel’s more therapy for me than anything else. And I feel like a lot of people relate to them and that’s why they do so well.

And he’s not just playing a part on TV, this is his reality.

At the end of the day, I started my YouTube channel because I had no one to relate to. Here, I can turn on the camera and just talk for 30 minutes and be uninterrupted; and

Photo Courtesy of Mike Mulderrig

then I get to watch it back to remind myself later down the road. When I was a kid and I didn’t have anybody to talk to in my hometown, I would go to YouTube to find people that I could relate to and make me feel not so alone. So, there could be somebody that’s going to say, “Oh, there’s this person that I love watching who like I love their videos and I love their content. I’m a fan of that person and oh my God, they’re going through something like me.”

The jury is out on whether Mike’s adulting period will last, but he’s not afraid to share any missteps either. It is important to Mike that his fans see all of this journey, even when he makes mistakes. In Mike’s opinion, nightlife can only get you so far. You have to want more.

There’s a cap. It’s being able to pull yourself out of West Hollywood. I tell people all the time, West Hollywood is a lot of fun, but it is a black hole. It’s a black hole because people make it in West Hollywood and then they get safe and satisfied and stop being hungry.

At the end of the day, in addition to the reality TV projects that come his way, the many streams on YouTube, or the likes on his Instagram, Mike only has himself to answer to.

I didn’t find the people in my life until I learned to love myself and be unapologetically myself. So, if you’re afraid to be unapologetically yourself, all you’re doing is keeping away the people that actually matter and love you for you. So, there’s nothing to be afraid of.

You can follow Mike on IG: @MikeMGTV