Not Less than Everything by Gemini Ink

not less than everything

Writings by residents of the Safe Haven Homeless Shelter in San Antonio, Texas in partnership with Gemini Ink, readers and writers today and tomorrow Spring 2010

not less than everything Writings by residents of the Safe Haven Homeless Shelter in San Antonio, Texas in partnership with Gemini Ink, readers and writers today and tomorrow Spring 2010 Writer-in-Residence Trey Moore Illustrations by Robert Poschmann Layout, Design and Editing Daniel Torres, Kimee Johnson, Gemini Ink interns Anisa Onofre, Writers in Communities Director Special Thanks to Robert Washington for funding of this project, Safe Haven Program Coordinator Vanita De Leon, and Recovery Support Specialist Priscilla Alvear Student work has been edited as lightly as possible in order to honor the original voices

513 S. Presa St. San Antonio, Texas 78205 www.geminiink.org 210-734-WORD 3

Not Less Than Everything is printed on Nina environment mesa white 80 pound paper, with a 100 pound gloss cover. Poem titles have been set in Herculanum type, the text in Philosopher type.

Foreword Trey Moore, Writer-in-Residence What can you say? No. Really, what can you say? I’ve thrown a thousand words at sincerity, hard-work, compassion, and rebirth; and never gotten any closer to these concepts than I have in my workshop with the men and women of Safe Haven. Sharing with this community of fine-minded and strong-willed people was one of the most profound moments in my life. I left each class confident, occasionally sated from that nagging hunger for everything but food. The aloneness, the separateness would disappear somewhere in that hour, and as a class, we learned to honor our voices through strength of experience and confidence in our natural way of expression. We covered the entire spectrum of human understanding, because each person brought so much to the workshop. But mostly, let’s be honest, we tricked ourselves through all that hard work with tenderness and laughter. We could talk about the details—what we lost, oh everything. But what we found, jangles like tiny treasures around our necks—community, spirit, power, and beautiful, sweet life in all of its incomprehensibleness. Friends, don’t worry. Just be. And read the powerful, lovely words of these men and women, whose voices rise up into song from these smog-filled streets.

We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time. Through the unknown, remembered gate When the last of earth left to discover Is that which was the beginning; At the source of the longest river The voice of the hidden waterfall And the children in the apple-tree Not known, because not looked for But heard, half-heard, in the stillness Between two waves of the sea. Quick now, here, now, always— A condition of complete simplicity (Costing not less than everything) And all shall be well and All manner of thing shall be well When the tongues of flame are in-folded Into the crowned knot of fire And the fire and the rose are one. Excerpt from T.S. Eliot’s “Little Gidding”

Losses

Hannah Rush

I have lost far too much, To play at listing Or to look at an isolated Person, place, thing Without looking at them all And fifteen or twenty minutes is not enough To mourn and to savor The never-again-to-be. I now realize Every moment is never-again-to-be I learn to inhale and taste all; every nuance To have the experience and not miss the meaning, As it were, concentrating without eliminating, and perhaps Approaching Eliotâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s condition of complete simplicity, Having nearly paid the toll of not less than everything.

La Cena

Eva Ronquillo

Aquí estoy otra vez Esperando que lleguer Le puse manteles nuevos A la mesa y un candelero Con su vela rosa que nos Alumbraba Mientras renovamos Pero nunca llegaste Se quedó la mesa y dos sillas La vela y el candelero Esperándote y también mi corazón Me quedé esperándote también Los dos vasos quedan El vino allí están todavía Esperándote también las uvas Y la fruta que nunca a de comer.

The Dinner Eva Ronquillo

Here I am once again Hoping that you will come. I put new linens On the table and a candle With its pink glow That Illuminated us As we renewed. You never came. The table and the two chairs remained The candle and the candleholder Waiting for you along with my heart. I waited for you, too. The two glasses remain. The pink wine is still in them. Even the grapes wait for you And so does the fruit that you will never eat.

Old School Lucilia Garcez

Sometimes you think of our lives At a more simple time, Learning lessons and consequences, Listening to my dad as we picked vegetables from our garden, Always, always asking questions, Following him around to see What I could learn. Funny, I still remember always saying: “¿Verdad que si papi?” and “¿Porque papi?” Being his confidante taught me one thing— he always talked to me as if I could understand more than most kids did— So, the most important thing he ever said was: “Nunca confíes en un hombre que no te ve los ojos cuando habla.” Which translates to “Never trust a man who cannot look you straight in the eyes.” He is no good.

Nature Poem Peter Williams

As I walk outdoors, I feel my feet leave from pavement to The lawn of broke-off branches and parts of hard dirt. Through my ears I hear the moving traffic sound Like in a tunnel by the side, from where I was. Also, I feel the luke-warm wind blowing around my arm and head. All of a sudden, a gush of chill wind blows all around me. I enjoy the mood of a blind person.

Dancing

Judy Ann Caceres

Beautiful long flowing hair, short black dress, Stiletto heels, long beautiful legs, I smile. Blue jeans, white long sleeve, shirt tucked in, Boots, cowboy hat, tall and handsome, He smiles. Who are you? Where did you come from? Nothing but short men come here. Eyes meet smiles, Excited. Is he married? Does he have a girlfriend? Girlfriends aren’t a problem, But wives are. Turning to see if he’s still looking, and he is Smiles, smiles, Walking towards me. Would you like to dance? Heart pounding “yes.” Looking into your eyes I wonder, Who is this man? We continue to dance through the night, Getting to know one another Our eyes meet every time we dance and talk Slow song finally. Looking into your eyes I wonder if you can see as deep as I can Can you see my heart pounding? My passion? My love? Do you know my feet are killing me? I can hardly stand up. Will he try to kiss me? I will kiss him. Kiss. 6

My Man Donna Haley

What you’re like to me— Lost and confused Like a fallen leaf from a tree Blowing in the wind Just as I am. As time passes us We will grow spiritual In our lives apart. Then we’ll come together Love one another Start our new life together.

Lost

Shelton Bell

I lost my father, my best friend, One who would stick through thick and thin, A person that became close to my heart, But when he passed, it was ripped apart, But then a light shined on my life, Oh my God! I have acquired a wife, What I found in the end, what you had once Can come again.

Awakening

Judy Ann Caceres

Where have I been? Confusion, fear, alone, Fantasy for a long time, “Hearing and seeing things that aren’t there,” he said, The lizard man and his wife—he’s not, The lady, and her friend that flies—they don’t, The wizard of A, he’s not, I guess I’m not the chosen one, No you’re not, But they were there, I saw and heard them, But they’re not, Awakened, My mind is quiet now, Calmness, Trying to pick up the pieces, What happened? Where did it all go? It’s all gone, Back from fantasy, It is time to live again, Where is she? She’s gone, Where is he? He’s gone. All that’s left is me, God, God, are you still there?

Remembering West Virginia Lucilia Garcez

The most gorgeous colors I’ve ever seen were the trees In West Virginia, in autumn. Rolling down the steep mountains Looking down at The valleys below. As a young girl, I grew up in the fields. Picking tomatoes, picking cotton. Waiting for lunch time When the trunk of the car Would open up and out came The tacos. Tacos have never tasted so good Since then. Could it just be the adventure Of being out there. I know it was work for Everybody else, but for me it was just time To explore, because what I picked was so small, It probably didn’t count at the end of the day. You can bet it was me crying, “Yo pappi, yo pappi.” To be the one chosen To ride on top of all the cotton Going back to town. As we got into town. You can bet, I was waving at everybody Just like the princess I thought I was.

The Painter

William FitzSimon

To take a rough exterior and change The look and color. To see an unfinished project As a finished look To see the transformation That I think is true art Like picturing a house in the countryside That looks picture perfect. Do you know why there are so many colors? God loves colors.

Nature

Valerie Robinson

Tree bark, squirrel and birds, Camouflage, Waving hello to the blue sky, White cotton puff clouds caress. Pink ribbons of sunshine, Shrubs beside trees like little children on their tippy-toes holding their parentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; hands, Standing beside tall trees, Airâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;cool crisp parents, Odorless fresh. Freely, uniquely, breezy kissing, My face, My cheeks, My lips.

Natural Lucy Hannah Rush

She has a terrible toothache And naturally curly, naturally brown hair, She is very natural Sitting there in her mysteriously Vanishing/reappearing red sweater And psychedelic glasses Barely holding back her laughter, With Mickey Mouse in a whatever pose On her T-shirt While she, quite uncomfortable being looked at, doodles on her paper. Unaccountably, she has seven painted nails And three natural ones Which makes her chuckle In her snide-dog way. She is also very naturally short, She didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to buy a bottle of that, And she is naturally a miraculous friend.

Inspiración Eva Ronquillo

¿Dónde estás tú, inspiración mía? ¿O estás aquí dentro de mí? ¿Vas conmigo? Donde voy nunca te dejaré, esperanza mía. Eres mi vida por quien vivo Estoy aquí escribiendo Estas flores blancas y Rosas rojas a donde voy sin ti Creo que a ninguna parte. Soy feliz así contigo Imaginándome contigo hasta el cielo azul Es mi inspiración Las espinas de las rosas Muy cariñosas y muy felices Con las espinas en los dedos De mis manos. O Inspiración mía Rosas mías Cielo azul Mi inspiración.

Inspiration Eva Ronquillo

Where are you, my inspiration? Or are you here inside of me? Will you go with me where I go? Wherever I go I will never leave you, my hope. You are my life for whom I live I am here writing These white flowers and Red roses. Where will I go without you? I believe nowhere. I am happy this way with you Imagining me with you -- even the blue sky This is my inspiration The thorns of the roses So affectionate and so happy With the thorns in the fingers Of my hands. Oh, my inspiration My roses Blue Sky My inspiration.

As A Young Child I Hurt Tara Lewis

As a young child I hurt, But why should I? Childhood is fun, But not for me, I hurt. Oh no, here it goes again, How long will this go on? I am a child full of life.

ResponSE to a Letter William FitzSimon

The person who let the secret out, Is showing unconditional love, The person must be real special, For someone to keep loving you so much, It being so unconditional of caring. I have stopped loving you.

What Is Home? Hannah Rush

As to the particulars, I remain a bit puzzled, For what, by standard measure, should be most decidedly, is not while, The most unexpected, not expectable conditions, Suddenly, ridiculously, completely Are Where we find whole sustenance, And know sweetness, Just by being.

Untitled Donna Haley

Remember when Our song played As we danced and laughed together. Remember when Life was up and down. Remember when I cried and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d wipe my tears. Remember when This time will pass. Remember when, Our life will last.

Alone in San Jose, California Tifani Garcia

New City, 17 years-old, Place to live, Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know how long I can stay. Met a guy, He took me to dinner so I got some food, I let him fall in love with me, So Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d have somewhere to go, Within a couple of weeks, I moved in with him.

Work

Tifani Garcia

I kept looking at the same ad. Afraid to answer it. I talked my roommate into going with me. I was nervous as I could be. I dressed nicely and got all made up. The guy running the ad was sick. This guy was named Sam. He was in sweats. He was the same age as me. He had a day job to pay the bills Running dancer was like some fantasy. He called his company the “Adult Entertainment Network.” His other dancers did fully nude shows. I had taken ballet and tap as a kid And done some funky stuff for talent shows. He seemed to like me. He invited me back two nights later To meet some of the other girls. They were doing a club Which was unusual for them. Most of his girls did private shows. But I was looking for bikini. I didn’t start dancing right away. We started a relationship. Eventually we met other promoters With bikini shows. I started bikini dancing. For quite a while, I was a hit. It was decent money. I met a lot of people.

Darkest Day Juan Luna

If I could paint, I would color a smile, Use the brightest colors to give it style, I would name it “Remember” so to never forget all good things in life, Some days are struggles—other days blue skies, I see children, who know no better, Who live life on their own, It takes a village to show them right from wrong, I’m no better, It’s all you and I, We need to show them we’re not born just to die. If I could paint, I would color a heart, A little patience and understanding is where I should start, It would bleed soft and bright just to let them know, From the darkest day, The light will show.

Untitled Anonymous

How do stars settle for less? This means never give up on yourself, Keep going for stars. We call on us to do right things. Life is God if you want. Do better for yourself. Never stop looking to better.

Haikus

Tara Lewis

Haiku #1 Hello world, Goodbye, Hello ugly world, Goodbye today, Hello tomorrow. Haiku #2 Baby crying in crib, Mother no where to be found, Hungry for love. Haiku #3 Son’s lost. Mother Out drugging. Babies Home alone, No food for them. So sad. Haiku #4 A 19 year girl full of life, But now she has lost her Self, no where to be found Or where are my children. For life has passed me by, Now she is a woman. Haiku #5 Today is the first day of my life, So hard, for life is too much for me. But I must, I must go on, for tomorrow May never come for me, for I hear the voices say “No Tomorrow just today.” 19

The Effect of Noise Shelton Bell

When I went outside I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hear a bird, The loud rapping of music is what I heard, Being outside is a wonderful thing, It makes me anticipate the coming of spring, Being out at night is wonderful to behold, Especially if itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s breezy and not cold, Being outside makes me calm, But listening to loud rapping is like a bomb.

Work

Peter Williams

Waking up on a raining morning preparing myself for work. I felt the feeling of my rubber boots splashing in the water, and as the rain drips from my coat. I felt happy on the way to work in my rain gear. Three are on the job, I felt the cushion of the seat, a joke with the crew as we ride looking for a street to work on. The sound of cool music, along with the squeaking windshield wipers. There was this sudden stop, out of the truck with the grip of my shovel moving mud so the water can flow to the catch basin rising up from a hurting back as I stretch to bend again; and I thank God for a job like this to take away my drinking habits. At the end of the day, I was happy again to go home to my apartment to prepare for tomorrow. Upon returning from six months of work, I run around the park a few times to get the tiredness out of me. After showering and laying on my back, I can feel the fluids in my body laying on my back, arriving at work I felt a lot of energy inside of me.

Mary

Valerie Robinson

Analytic Eclectic Lyric Unique Specific Global Doppler Alpha Omega Telescopic Kaleidoscopic Cosmic Mystic Mercuric Distant Near Focused Ethereal Eccentric Electric Athletic Pacific Prozac Poetic Syllabic Quick Cryptic Citric Music Acoustic Satiric

My Children Tara Lewis

Here I am high on crack O where my kids? I don’t know, but Why should I know? For here I am High on crack.

Pain

Kenneth Horn

What is pain? We all ask in vain. When things don’t go our way, Why does pain like to stay? Is it ‘cause we are weak? Or is it what we seek? Nothing is like the feeling of pain, Not even a warm September rain. Pain can be caused when you’re mad, Or when you’re sad. Pain can be so evil, Worse than jumping through hoops of fire like Knievel. So what is pain? What do we gain? Pain is like a ball, It’s like being slammed against the wall. Pain is on the run, To catch and ruin our fun. Pain can be a big boom, Like being in a closed small room, So I pull my boots on for the day, Pain is not here to stay. So pain is such a big mess, So God bless the day we are painless. 23

El Cha

Hannah Rush

All of us bear-hugged by heat Smelling sun, sweat, dirt, Sharp tomatoes and insecticide Legs cramping Red bucket everywhere we are Looking out over vast green dotted With dense red fruits Wondering does it ever end? Somewhere, he says, It’s like the fuckin ocean though— We’ll never see the other side. I’ve been to the other side, Claims the guy in the coyote bandana And court jester boots Guess what’s there? More Tomatoes!! Then he slaps my back Falls, and rolls in the dirt Crying with joy Worshipping divine absurdity. What did you expect? A condo? Rising, he brushes himself off Empties a bucket to use as a seat Makes himself comfortable They call me Viracocha Cha, to my friends, Which you all are And here is what you need to know. Time past and time future are all Contained in time present… Ah shit, there I go Quoting Eliot again, But that’s the gist of it you know; This tomato picking is sacred Because the tomatoes are sacred. 24

You are sacred Both of you giving yourselves to the picking And the other side Is the same as this side. Sanctity creating itself. This is the basis of high civilization, Passionate living And good parties. Then we shared Jugs of wine and loaves of bread All of us beside each other Enough. Cha bathed us in the canal Kissed our heads all smiling And road off on a water buffalo Singing, si se puede. Who knows?

Learning To Be Punctual Tifani Garcia

Is important. It shows responsibility. You don’t want to be late for appointments It makes you seem flaky. As if it doesn’t matter. I’m trying to decide What kind of a career path to take. Trying to figure out what I want to do as a job. I’m not sure what I would be good at. I don’t think I have marketable skills So, I’m in need of skills training.

The Car Tara Lewis

As the cars go by I think, Of my life as a car, What kind would I be? VW Long out of style, Full of life, Going here, going there, All over until My car has broke down, No! Not my VW! Oh well, Life goes on, My car is gone, In the wind, gone, bye my car, For you have been good to me, Time to rest me, VW.

Last Day

Kenneth Horn

Here I am on this day, Wishing I was at bay, Getting Ready for my mate, Are we ready for our fate, Cause she’s late for our date, I was preparing the meat, So we all could eat, She used to get beat, That’s how we got to meet, Her ex-boyfriend was so weak, Not sure if he wore a beak, Like an evil bird, He never said a word, He was on dope, One day he hung himself with a rope, I took a peek, To see what she “seek’d” She was so full of hate, I told her I would wait, And that pure love is a willingness to give without thought of receiving anything in return, So I had pure love, It didn’t come from above, It came to me like a white dove, So she said okay, And that’s why it was my last day.

I Remember You Judy Ann Caceres

I remember you. When the doctor said, “You have a new life inside of you.” The nurse brought you to me all bundled up like a cocoon Tiny. I said, “Hi sweetie, I’m your mom and you’re my sweetie.” Yams and bananas you loved. Lots of baby rolls on your body And a smile that you gave me every time I looked at you. Pictures you had so many Beautiful dresses and socks to match, Pink of course. Your first word was kitty, not Mom, Not Dad. Many birthday parties and friends, The bike, The beach that you loved, Holding your tiny hands so the water wouldn’t take you away, Kicking the water with your feet and laughing, Seagulls that you fed, The first day of school, The small boots and blouse you had to have for that special day, So many costumes I made: bunny, mummy, witch and cat were a few, Yummy cookies that we made, Talent shows were great, The bump on your forehead was not, Learning to drive the ‘57 Mustang, The dates were few, The cell phone was a mistake, Graduation was great, College was not. Now you’re fighting for your country, Who would have thought? So many wonderful memories I have that no one can take, I think of you often Sweetie, Love, Mom. 28

Menudo

Judy Ann Caceres

This menudo is great Sliced onions and lemons, chile, Corn tortillas Man, this lady is hard to get along with She’s rude and hateful to everyone But she makes the best menudo in town. I wonder who she invited Knock on the door Marty and Gloria. Belen, Hi! And little Ray-Ray He’s gotten so big. Did you make chile? Whoever doesn’t want menudo, I make chile, too With crackers. I don’t like menudo or chile, I bought McDonalds for us! I’ll take a pata. Not me. Do you have tea? Yes. I want butter on my tortilla, It smells so good in here. Knock on the door. Oh, it’s little Marty and Norma and the kids. Smells good! I brought sodas—Big Red and Coke. The kids are going to eat because I brought some for them. I hope we can have seconds. I don’t know. Dad’s here.

Dancing

Judy Ann Caceres

Beautiful long flowing hair, short black dress, Stiletto heels, long beautiful legs, I smile. Blue jeans, white long sleeve, shirt tucked in, Boots, cowboy hat, tall and handsome, He smiles. Who are you? Where did you come from? Nothing but short men come here. Eyes meet smiles, Excited. Is he married? Does he have a girlfriend? Girlfriends aren’t a problem, But wives are. Turning to see if he’s still looking, and he is Smiles, smiles, Walking towards me. Would you like to dance? Heart pounding “yes.” Looking into your eyes I wonder, Who is this man? We continue to dance through the night, Getting to know one another Our eyes meet every time we dance and talk Slow song finally. Looking into your eyes I wonder if you can see as deep as I can Can you see my heart pounding? My passion My love Do you know my feet are killing me? I can hardly stand up. 30

Will he try to kiss me? I will kiss him. Kiss. Will he ask for my number? I will give it to him. 555-9979, Will he call?

Dinner

Robert Martin

I met with my girlfriend for dinner. We talked for a while, before ordering food. We continued to talk even when the food came. We were so fascinated with each otherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s looks and talking to one another, that we never got hungry at the restaurant.

ResponSE To A Letter Hannah Rush

My memory soothes my feeling Elsewhere With new musicâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the poet said, Music is feeling then, not sound. The feeling of pregnant orchards Clean air after a rain And love always coming home Leading us Elsewhere Always melodiously fresh Fragrant New.

Response to A Letter Tara Lewis

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m trying to decide what kind of career path to take. Today I look for work, no luck Tomorrow will be a better day. I want to give up. I must keep On looking for work is not easy To find in this day and time To find work in my career path. No one is hiring. I will not give up. If I have to do housekeeping That is not my first choice I would like to work with people That sounds like Fun but there are not many jobs in This type of work. I would really like to be a care Worker.

Family Meal Tara Lewis

My dinner is full of color with the sweets on the table full of sugar. But thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s OK for I love to see the kids get in the sweets, and then go home with their mothers. Oh my what a thing to see that is what I think about when, I think about family. Dinner, all the kids, the ones of yesterday and the ones of today. Here comes grandmother with another cake full of sugar, just the way we like it and the pie. What can I say for the sweets are on me like the kids in their holiday clothes.

Este Hombre Iba A Visitar Eva Ronquillo

Este hombre iba a visitar a su esposa todos los días en la mañana y llevaba dulces y me saludar y me regalaba dulces hasta que un día se murió su esposa y ella no vivó y traía dulces se sintiba. Se sentía triste.

This Man Lived To Visit Eva Ronquillo

This man would come to visit his wife every day in the morning and he brought her sweets and he greeted me and gave me sweets until one day his wife died and he no longer came and brought candies. He felt sad.

My Morning At Present Shelton Bell

The most important thing on my mind This morning is going to pick up my new glasses. My reading will improve immensely. The next Thing on my mind are my two appointments Concerning my disability case, which my attorney Set up for me yesterday. After doing this, I will be Able to proceed to my disability hearing. This is what Has given this day an extra spark. A nightmare is a bad dream that keeps coming back. Sometimes to the very point of a heart attack. They will throw your thoughts out of sync Bringing you to the very brink. Sometimes youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll awake to a pounding heart But you have to regroup for a brand new start.

Glasses for Eyes Valerie Robinson

The windows to the heart and soul Long distance and up close To see the deep and superficial. Frames send a message about the wearer What image you want to convey. Lenses lines, no lines, bifocal, trifocal Colors, light sensitive, reflective. Get whatever floats your boat. Get whatever blows your skirt up. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get those heavy black prison glasses That I hear people describe in disgust and condescension.

Dinner Guests Valerie Robinson

All relatives, children, grandchildren, greats, great greats, and of course the extended family. Babies to new parents, all of us there. Turkey and all the long awaited trimmings. Real food, no boxed potatoes, or canned string beans. Fresh baked goods, from “screech” as we Yankees say. The only concession to canned good is Ocean Spray cranberry sauce. For the courageous, I have homemade gingercranberry relish. Yum-yum. For one day, no fussing, grumbling, murmuring or grudges. All the recipes from all the elders were used and followed to the tee. Aunt Myrtles apple pie. My mother’s gingerbread with whipped cream. Red yellow for the couscous and plenty of hot tea and coffee. The family china, sterling silver flatware, and crystal glassware for the adults. The children’s table still gets plastic. Linen napkins and tablecloths, engraved sterling napkin rings and crystal place card holders. Emily Posh and my mother would be proud. My mother insisted that we sit a table for the president and her favorite, Elizabeth, the Queen of England. After all, she’d say, “if we don’t treat ourselves like royalty, anybody can treat us like dirt.”

The Attic: Treasures and Troubles Juan Luna

Here in this room, Hangs pictures and memories, Of my past, Some of good times, Some of bad, They never seem to last. New beginnings turn to yesterdays, And the whole world forgets but me. Once you get lost, Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re never the same, I close my eyes and make a wish, and hope for better days. Cause tomorrows never seem to come, So I live for today, Here in this room, Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s everything I own. My windows shed some light, It also rains and snows, And the colors on my wall seem to change from time to time, It all depends on my state of mind. I keep the key close to me, so no one can just go in, Remember, with a heart, Everyone has a room deep down within.

Valentine’s Dinner Hannah Rush

It is a valentine’s dinner. With plenty of deep-fried food and chocolate, Heart smart salads on the side. Cathy and Heathcliff both are there Having realized it is the 21st century. They have both completed anger-management Renounced co-dependency, and pour their passions Into healthy things like career and charitable Causes and eating salads—practicing forgiveness. They do aerobics too, and wonder why they Are together. Heloise has abandoned her habit Abelard reclaimed his member. They dance each moon dance Breathing each other in, barely moving Grateful for the other’s presence Paradise enough.

At The Restaurant With The Family Moises Muñoz

I was at a restaurant with my family and we were all talking about what we were going to order. And just when we were ready, the waitress came over and asked what we were going to have to drink. My parents order tea, my sister orders water and my brother orders coffee, well, I order tea also. Then the waitress asks if we are ready to order. My family said, yes. So we all order and when it came to the table it smells so good like something I never smell. Not just what I order, but what my brother, and my sister and also my parents ordered. And when I look at my family, I saw the look on their faces that it was a good place to eat. 37

Where Has All The Innocence Gone? Juan Luna

Where has all the innocence gone? Why is everyone for hire? This world can be so cold, Some parts with fire, All I see are bad times up ahead, Nobody wants to die, Just look at how you’re living, And I ask, why? It’s all for the taking, But who are the ones giving? Create a lie and try living in it, It’s all bullshit! You and everyone in it. Open your eyes and see for as far as you can, It’s all the same wasteland, Where have all the good times gone? Along with your dreams… far away, Take a look at yourself, Everyone needs a reason to pray, Don’t cry, Don’t say a word, Its all for nothing, It’s all been heard. Live like a king, Just to be called a fool, You work your whole life, Just so they can remind you that you can’t take it with you.

Nathaniel Hannah Rush

Your tiny go-where-you-go Bottle of tabasco Was the clincher. I knew certainly We are soul mates When you took it out of your backpack And emptied it into your chowder Then smiled. I miss you Especially sometimes, At high tide; aloneness and loss When at ebb I only wonder what you are doing and send you Shekinah Liquid light To hold and fill you so I wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t feel as scared or hurt as much. Memories like stills From a cheesy movie Amazing Grace in a pink sunset, Eternal vows exchanged dumpster-side, The shock Of being loved Without qualification Or pretense.

Cabeza

Lucilia Garcez

During the winter of 2002, my husband decided he was going to make a “cabeza,” which is cow’s head for the people that don’t understand Spanish. We were all excited about what we were doing because neither of us had ever done that, had eaten it plenty of times, but never gone out and dug a hole in the ground and made it into an oven. As it turned out we had a big group of us, because did I forget to mention we had a couple of cases of Bud Light to get us started? I never had known how much fun it was to do this with friends, all doing their parts. The head wrapped in sackcloth is wet and lowered to the bottom of the pit that had the embers and rocks on top. We covered it with a large piece of tin to make plenty of vapor. When we finished, it was probably about four or five in the morning. I can honestly say that I have never tasted barbacoa that delicious. Good thing the barbacoa got cooked, because we were all baked by that time. Good times.

A Poem Taped To The Wall By My Bed William FitzSimon

When things go wrong, as they usually will, And your daily roads seem all up hill, When the funds are low and the debts are high, And when you try to smile but can only cry, When you feel you’d like to quit, Don’t run to me, I don’t give a shit.

Four Haikus William FitzSimon

Haiku #1 Here we sit, thinking On a log. Look at the water, now Haiku #2 Look over there, I see A boat floating By the sunset. Haiku #3 The dance we shared By the night lights, I’m standing there. Haiku #4 Life is sweet and wonderful. Don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s all small stuff.

What is Home? Tifani Garcia

Home is family, No matter where you live, Home has been many different places, Lots of new faces, Moving around a lot, Stability sounds impossible, I hope to achieve it, Someday.

Home Economics Assignment Tifani Garcia

To make my family a meal. They would grade me. I decided to make something my mom Showed me to make. I made a full meal From a salad to porcupine meatballs Mashed potatoes and gravy We all drank iced tea. They all loved it. I got an A+. It was a good time. I wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t ever forget.

My Thought For The Day Peter Williams

I woke up, enjoyed a delicious breakfast, as the morning went by. I purchased me a pack of baby cigars, had a few smokes, then decided to buy me some tapes to record. I decided to record some Mexican music to relax me inside and outside of my body, and I felt like a walking dream to accomplish something to do, it helps me think clearly, remember better, I also felt as I was walking, sleep as it was, and that was my thought for that day.

Untitled

Peter Williams

He felt as though he was satisfied, but she didn’t think he was. She feels emotions of discomfort, bored, etc., but deep down inside she feels confused ‘cause this happened all of a sudden, and she’s not sure this is what he wants with her in life, to relax and just be there. I would relax in comfort to have a woman love me this much. I’d feel like those moments when saying to myself, this is a dream. I always looked for nothing outside, inside of a home with a woman that really loves me. Good thing I’m the inside type, inside why she’s at work and out there, when she need me for protection towards the dudes she used to know or strangers, or just to be with her when outdoors. A life with a thrill.

Response to A Letter Peter Williams

Once I’m inside I enjoy him and his happiness, Being with me. Ahh, though the truck amazes me Inside with the height and new sight. This high off the ground, It’s wonderful being with him Cause this is what he likes in life Me inside of a high truck with him.

Concerning a Good Meal Larry Whitfield

Concerning a good meal, I revert back to Christmas, when I was young (around 12-years-old) We had just moved to Baytown, TX. Where most of my family lived. This particular Christmas, everyone (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) came to my parents house for Christmas dinner. I remember this Christmas vividly because everyone was there, and it made me realize how large my family was. I had gotten a new bicycle for that Christmas, so it was particularly exciting. My aunts and mother were quite good cooks, in fact in Baytown and were actual chefs. The range of food there was amazing; not only the basic turkey and dressing, but seafood, sauces (homemade) and trimmings, appetizers, etc. that you could imagine—the smell was like a sweet dream. Everyone was laughing and joking and having a marvelous time. Little did I know that this would be the last Christmas we would all be together—Everyone past that Christmas began to pass away—to the point where they are all passed away today. But there was that one magical Christmas, years ago.

Grateful For Tifani Garcia

My daughter and all the positive things in her life, My mother and all she does, Having a place to live, Having food to eat, Having clothes and shoes to wear.

Prayer

Judy Ann Caceres

10:30 30 minutes to get there Oh, I won’t make it Getting up Black jeans, red top, black heels, purse, Probably won’t find a place to park. Here it goes Up the stairs It’s beautiful Holy water Sign of the cross I’m here. I didn’t wear makeup because all I do Is cry when I come here, You see. Kneeling. It’s me, Judy. Your homeless child. The one that hungers and thirst and asks To be kept warm. The one that prays for the children, The homeless and the animals to be Kept warm and fed. The one that asks for her daughter’s Safety. The one, no one wanted to feed. The one, no one wanted to clothe. The one, no one wanted to give water to. The one, no one wanted to help. The Crazy One The Artist The Mother, the Sister, the Daughter, the Friend. I seem to always need something from you. I guess it’s the Holy Spirit that Engulfs me with tears. I know you’re here, I feel your presence. 46

I need so much. There are so many people that need your help. Help them. As for me, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m OK. I know you blessed me. Thank you for everything you have give and taken from me. Thank you for my daughter, That I love with all my heart. Thank you for the food and water, The Shelter, the blanket. My sanity. For listening when no one else would. Thank you for being my God. Sign of the cross Leaving, I guess it wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t that bad.

WIC Faculty Writer-in-Residence Trey Moore, a poet and fourth-generation carpenter, holds an M.F.A. in Creative Writing from Texas State University. He has traveled extensively (Alaska, Malaysia, Thailand and Laos) and has taught as a poet in public schools and juvenile detention centers, as well as at Northwest Vista college in San Antonio, Texas. His work has appeared in the Texas Observer and a number of anthologies, including Is This Forever or What? and Between Heaven and Texas . He has two books of poetry— We Forget We Are Water , and Some Will Play The Cello . A Spanish-speaking Texas native, arts activist, and builder of community gardens, Trey’s poems investigate “our intimate, indivisible relationship to nature” from a city-dweller’s perspective.

Illustrator Robert Poschmann is a freelance artist who graduated from Our Lady of the Lake University in 2009 with a B.A. in Studio Fine Arts. He currently works as an Arts Facilitator for San Antonio Youth Centers (SAYC) for grades K-8. His website is www.robertposchmann.com

“ Gemini Ink nurtures writers and readers and builds community through literature and the related arts, ” is our mission. Our four programs serve an average of 5,000 patrons annually: Writers in Communities (WIC) sends professional writers into diverse community settings to work alongside students of all ages, needs, interests, and abilities in free workshops based in oral traditions, reading, and creative writing. The Autograph Series presents writers of national or international stature — many of them recipients of major prizes such as the Pulitzer or National Book Award — in a free public performance and a ticketed colloquium luncheon the following day. University Without Walls (UWW) offers three semesters of fee-based reading groups and workshops and also many free literary events, all led by professional writers, scholars, and interdisciplinary artists. Dramatic Readers Theater (DRT) features professional actors interpreting literary works in free performances, often accompanied by original music. For more information, visit www.geminiink.org or call 210-734-WORD (9673) Toll-free: 877-734-WORD (9673)