Help for the Weary

words by Denise Davis

You may have noticed there has been a lot of talk about mental illness, particularly depression and anxiety, and how the number of individuals affected by it is growing. There may be several reasons as to why this is happening. This may be due to the fact that technology is taking over and there’s less human interaction, therefore, encouraging loneliness, or the fact that we live in a society where the state of constant busyness is glorified and we neglect our need for rest. Regardless of what the cause is, the fact of the matter is that mental illness is growing rapidly and it is more and more common for one to know someone who is struggling with it.

Do you know someone close to you who is experiencing a mental illness? Perhaps depression and anxiety? When asked to think of this person, can you say that you have been able to be of any help? If you feel like it wouldn’t hurt to learn more on how to help those around you who are struggling with depression and anxiety, keep reading.

Before we can start talking about ways to help those with depression and anxiety, we need to make sure we understand what some common signs consist of. The following are some of the symptoms one might experience:

• Extreme worry and fear

• Muscle tension and pain

• Headaches

• Hot flashes and/or sweating

• Trouble concentrating

• Social withdrawal

• Extreme change in appetite and sleep

• Mood swings and irritability

• Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness

• Low energy

• Suicidal thoughts

5 Helpful Tips

1. Be present. What a person needs more than anything is validation and empathy. Listen without judging. Keeping this verse in mind will work wonders, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak...”.

2. Don’t assume that your past or current experience with mental illness is the same as theirs. Choose your words wisely. The fact that they are sharing their heart with you means they trust you. Don’t take that lightly.

3. Do your research. The most common forms of treatment are psychiatric medications and counseling. If you’re not knowledgeable about mental illness or feel like you need to learn more, there are resources listed at the end of this article. This is a great way to be able to provide help when the opportunity arises.

4. Ask how you can help. This helps them take charge of their healing journey instead of you having to become responsible for it. It is fine to ask them if they’ve considered receiving treatment, however, keep in mind that not everyone is open or ready for that. This isn’t something you can force someone into. It has to come from within. They have to be ready.

5. Set boundaries. It’s not your job to fix or rescue them. That alone should take the pressure off of you. What they need to know is that someone cares and is there for them. Help however you can, and don’t forget to take care of yourself in the process. You’re no good to anyone if you’re running on empty.

Please allow me to be open here. I have not always been the best person to listen to someone who needs it. I have offered advice when all I needed to do was listen. I have not always shown empathy when I needed to. I have also been on the other side of the fence to where I was overcome with hopelessness, and almost tried to end my life.

The thing is, when someone has reached their darkest point, they have lost all hope. In their eyes it seems impossible for their situation to improve.

They’re not being selfish if they want to end their life; they’re hurting, and may feel like the world would be better off without them. But if you or I can be that light that God has called us to be, that’s what makes the difference. If that person knows that this world won’t be the same without them and that there’s hope, then that’s the game changer.

So let’s get to work! Let’s do our best to be the light and share God’s love.

Resources

• nami.org (NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness): provides information about mental illnesses, support groups for those suffering from a mental illness, and support groups for families.

• samhsa.org (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration): provides helplines and treatment locators along with other useful information

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255): a helpline which loved ones and those in crisis can call 24/7.