Geneva Quarterly issue 4 senior edition

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GENEVA QUARTERLY Volume 3 Issue 4

class of 2016 G|1

All About Us STAFF Arianna Flores Skylar Tippetts Jessica Wheeler Ian Comuzzie

Chief Editor of Content Chief Editor of Design Chief Managing Editor Photography Editor

Ruth Wacker Photoshop Editor Carissa Georgelos Indesign Editor Emme Owens Editorial Editor Karlie Daniels Aisling Ayers Jacqueline Knox Noah Benson Katelyn Davis Nathan Zuniga Katherine Anderson Daniel Grover Nathan Young Sara Beth Stolle Kaila Daniels

Indesign Staff Indesign Staff Photography Staff Photography Staff Photography Staff Editorial Staff Editorial Staff Editorial Staff Editorial Staff Photoshop Staff Photoshop Staff

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GQ MISSION STATEMENT

The Geneva Quarterly is a student publication which serves the greater Geneva community with news, opinion, entertainment and sports. All pieces are written from a Biblical worldview and attempt to engage the reader with relevant information. We, as a staff, pursue truth and excellence through all of our work and integrate the basic principles taught at the Geneva School of Boerne.

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR Dear Reader, As I sit and reflect on the end of yet another school year, I can almost taste the watermelon, smell the sunscreen, hear the crashing of waves that lie just around the corner. Summer is nearly upon us. No month seems to go by as slowly as that which leads up to the last day of school.

Especially when you’re a senior.

But as you know, with every ending comes a new beginning. The Class of 2016 is nearly ready to take on their new lives as college kids, complete with roommates, coffee addictions, and so much more. Their legacy at Geneva will be forever preserved in the hearts of teachers and students alike; they have graced our campus with such vibrancy and left a lasting impact on our student culture. My fellow new editors and I hope the fourth issue of this year’s Geneva Quarterly allows you to relive the highlights of what proved to be an exceptional year for our seniors. We look forward to serving our community through the production of the magazine next school year, and we can’t wait for you to dive into this tribute to the Class of 2016. The Geneva Quarterly Staff proudly presents to you, the 2015-2016 Senior Edition of the Geneva Quarterly.

-Arianna Flores, with Jessica Wheeler and Skylar Tippetts

VERSE OF THE QUARTER

“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”

Numbers 6: 24-26

BEHIND THE COVER

After much anticipation, the sun has finally set on the Class of 2016’s last year at Geneva. Junior Arianna Flores’ pose represents the seniors’ final, triumphant look back at the mission they have accomplished.

COVER PHOTOGRAPH BY IAN COMUZZIE

Features 8 AIM FOR THE STARS

Senior AIM Buddies impact Grammar School culture

12 LIVE FOR THE APPLAUSE Auditions and showcases affect college applications

8 PHOTOGRAPH BY KATELYN DAVIS

16 THE MAKING OF A THESIS Students reach the capstone of their classical, Christian education

INDESIGN CREDITS: Mary Claire Brock: 34-38, Summer Stolle: 20-23 Jessica Wheeler: 8-11, 30-33, 66-69 Arianna Flores: 42-43, 78-80 Karlie Daniels: 16-18, 74-77 Carissa Georgelos: 60-61, 81-82 Skylar Tippetts: 44-58 Aisling Ayers: 26-28, 40-41, 62-65, 70-71 Kaila Daniels: 1, 88 Emme Owens: 12-15 Jacqueline Knox: 24-25, 39 Sara Beth Stolle: 72-73 Ian Comuzzie: 78-80

12 PHOTOGRAPH BY JACQUELINE KNOX

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COLOPHON

All verbal and visual content is solicited and selected by the Quarterly Staff of the Geneva School of Boerne. Approval is garnered from advisor and headmaster. All bylined writers are held accountable for their work.

MAGAZINE SPECIFICATIONS ARE AS FOLLOWS:

Created in InDesign and printed by SchoolPrinting.com.

Font families used: Kepler Std., Lust and Baramound.

Issue

Volume 3 Senior Edition 2016

SCHOOL INFORMATION

The Geneva School of Boerne exists to provide a classical education from a Biblical worldview, to equip students for a lifetime of learning, service and leadership to the glory of God. Rhetoric student population: 200 Rhetoric faculty population: 31

6 FEATURES 19 THE SCORE 29 CULTURE

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SECTIONS

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Table of Contents

44 SENIOR PROFILES

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59 OUT OF THE BOX

FOR ANY OTHER INQUIRIES: ariannaflores.gq@gmail.com

83 THE TALON

THIS IS A PUBLICATION FOR

Geneva School of Boerne 113 Cascade Caverns Road Boerne, Tx. 78006

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PHOTOGRAPH BY IAN COMUZZIE

Features

MAKING THE GRADE Seniors reach the finish line with a senior thesis presentation pg. 16

ALL PHOTOGRAPHY BY KATELYN DAVIS

I WANNA BE LIKE YOU

Mrs. Mowery’s second grade class show their toes just like their AIM buddy, Daniel Wacker

INTEGRATE

W

PT

BY JESSICA WHEELER

ADO

AIM

Seniors and Grammar students talk about their excitement for Wednesday morning AIM

ith the start of each week, the typical student wakes up and prepares to face an average day of schoolwork, with the same classmates and the same schedule set out each and every week. However, when Wednesdays at Geneva roll around, a special air of excitement spreads among the Grammar School students. This same excitement fills the seniors who volunteered to be AIM buddies for a second year.

Wednesday mornings are AIM mornings, and start with a special 30 minutes during which Grammar kids get to bond with their upper-classmen AIM buddies.

AIM, which stands for “Adopt, Integrate and Mentor,” was created in 2009 both as an effort to maintain the community and relationships built between Rhetoric and Grammar students as the school grew in size, and to foster relational opportunities among the whole school.

“The point was and is to allow younger students to benefit from older mentorship, and for older students to be reminded of the excitement of the G|8

MENTOR

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process of learning at Geneva,” Rhetoric School Headmaster Rob Shelton, who initiated the program, said.

Grammar School Headmaster Mrs. Jessica Gombert said admiringly of Shelton, “He came up with something much more sophisticated than what we suggested.”

AIM first began as a time during which every high school student, freshman through senior, woke up early on Wednesdays to visit their AIM classes. As expected, the Geneva student body has grown in numbers, therefore the number of high schoolers involved in AIM has been adjusted.

In 2012, the administration decided that juniors alone would participate in the program, with seniors still having the opportunity to participate if they so wished.

Despite the fact that AIM is volunteer-based for seniors, a large percentage of this year’s senior class fell in love with the kids and opted to participate for a second year. “My main reason for returning to AIM is the joy I get from seeing the kids. They love me simply for being there, and it is wonderful to see such delight. I​ love seeing the enthusiasm my AIM kids have for everything. Even at the end of the year, they come to school with big smiles; I find it incredibly encouraging and inspiring,” said Erica Shelton, senior AIM buddy.

The bigger the school gets the harder it is to keep a closely-knit community, so the relationships like those between Erica Shelton and her kids are extremely special.

Gombert described the AIM-buddy experience as “very rare. Because we are on the same campus, they [the Grammar students] get to see what they are going to be [through their AIM buddies].”

Grammar students attend many of the AIM buddies’ competitive games to cheer them on and be inspired. Mary Liz Winston, reflecting on special moments with her AIM kids, said, “There are so many! One of my favorites is when Chloe Donnell, one of my AIM kids last year, would always sit on my lap at basketball games. This was special to me because I remember always sitting on my (older) siblings’ friends’ laps and feeling so special as a kid because I got to be around the ‘big kids’.”

Mrs. Penny Morris, one of the Kindergarten teachers, has senior Chloe De Vries for an AIM

“On the last day of school last year I sat with my AIM class and I think I had three of them in my lap and two more holding my hands and it was a really sweet moment,” said Kaylea Burt about one of her favorite moments of AIM.

FRIENDLY FACES

AIM buddy, Erica Shelton, and first grader, Esther Troyer, are all smiles during AIM on Wednesday mornings.

‘I love the moment when you say goodbye and all the little kids run to hug you. You will never feel more popular than when you are with the AIM kids,” said Emily Shelton.

“I’ve enjoyed getting to know the littles around campus by name and seeing their reaction when you say “Hi” is always priceless,” Mary Liz Winston said.

NO LONGER PUZZLED

David Runnels helps one of his AIM kids put together a fun project.

​“I love to see the enthusiasm my AIM kids have for everything. Even at the end of the year, they come to school with big smiles; I find it incredibly encouraging and inspiring,” said Erica Shelton.

GO LONG

Mack Vaught, fifth grade AIM buddy, prepares to throw far to the students waiting down the field.

buddy for her class this year.

“Our Benefit presentation will include Chloe this year; she will be our narrator.

This is especially sweet because her little sister Brooke is in my class! Bookends of a sort, a kinder and a senior (this doesn’t happen very often)!” Morris said. “It has been a joy getting to know Chloe this year. Her nurturing manner has encouraged my students by showing the love of Christ through her tender loving ways.”

Seventh grader Gillian Hawkins remembers playing Jenga with Geneva graduate Evan Kasprowicz (2013) when she was in third grade.

She recalled, “I knew him before AIM, but AIM is really what brought us closer.” They still stay in touch.

This time set aside for upperclassmen to spend with Grammar students is something to which everyone looks forward, even Grammar teachers.

Mrs. Shelly Vaughn, SOMEBODY TO LOVE fifth grade teacher, took her class to the very first day Senior Kaylea Burt of thesis presentations in 2011 to watch Alex Ryden, shares a hug with her then their senior AIM buddy, AIM student. present his thesis on the epistemology of science.

“I was so nervous on that day, so it was not until I finished that I saw my AIM class in the audience. It was such a neat thing to have them there even though I am not sure they knew everything I was saying,” Ryden said.

When senior thesis presentations come around, all AIM classes want to be

there to watch and support their beloved friends. Sixth grader Nicolas Siller still remembers watching his AIM buddy, Johnny Lowry, present his thesis in 2015. “He was ridiculously good at basketball too,” said Siller.

AIM has become a significant part of Geneva’s community and culture. “My favorite thing is when the Grammar students see their AIM buddies outside the classroom and get so excited and run to them and relish in receiving the attention of a high school student,” said Shelton.

Teachers benefit from the help of their AIM buddies. Amelia O’Brien, Second grade teacher, said about her senior AIM student Sarah Habeeb, “I have been blessed with having Sarah as an AIM buddy for the past two years. She is always eager to come to our class and helps the second graders with a variety of tasks. She has helped them work on speech meet by giving the students advice on speaking in front of a group, quizzes the students on spelling and goes over assembly lines with them. Sarah has been a great mentor to my students and I’m thankful for the way the love of Christ shines through in her interactions with my students. She is a blessing to our class!”

Grammar School office coordinator Mrs. Beverly Johnson recalls an early event hosted by the school that provided the opportunity for Grammar parents to meet the parents of their children’s AIM buddies. The program has added to the community of Geneva School by creating a common ground on which the parents could get to know each other and learn about both the older and younger students that their kids spend so much time with.

As the school continues to grow, it is rare that families from Grammar School have a connection to the Rhetoric School students, but AIM allows for at least a few points of connection that help a growing campus stay a unified community.

HEAD OVER HEELS FOR YOU

Second graders love performing for AIM buddy Sarah Habeeb.

And Sarah loves watching them.

AIM TO PLEASE.

“I like my AIM buddy because he’s up for anything and he always says hi when we see him around campus,” reads the sign of Hayden Bomgaars’ Aim kid.

Features

Four students share their stories about furthering extracurricular passions in college

BY EMME OWENS

Crossing the Courts

David Crossland tells the story behind his decision to pursue college basketball colleges and universities. There is a lot involved in the process of getting recognized by scouts.

Crossland described it as “pretty hard, but it was all my dad. He had someone make the videos and put them on a website where colleges look for [specific players].”

A few months later, Crossland started receiving calls from Division 3 schools all over Texas and applied to Princeton, Angelo State, The Air-Force Academy and UTSA. Corban University in Oregon also “watched my videos and they called me up. They asked me to visit and payed for my flight up there, so I flew to Oregon and I just played pick-up with them for like six hours,” Crossland said.

Before going into his assessment, Crossland remembered feeling “nervous at first, but then after I started shooting good. I felt good and had fun. I thought I played, like, the greatest ever.” Corban University saw Crossland’s potential and offered him a spot on their team right after he played with them. “I really wanted to stay in Texas near my family and Whataburger,” Crossland said, “but they really wanted me, and I accepted.”

Although going to an out-of-state school was not Crossland’s first choice, he will attend Corban University in the fall to play basketball. Crossland is ready to play with the big guys and continue to feel the rush of the game.

“Sometimes I feel like I can’t miss, like when I get going.

It’s a great feeling.”

David Crossland

HOTOGRAPHY BY SMUGMUG

Sweats rolls down his face. With 30 seconds left in the game, he dribbles the ball down the court and dodges the other players. He sees an opening, and shoots. The ball circles around the rim and lands in the net with a swoosh. The crowd roars as he scores the winning point for his team. This is the sound every athlete wants to hear.

At age six, senior David Crossland began shooting hoops and developing a love for the game of basketball. “I played everything at first but when I turned 13 or 14 I started liking basketball more,” Crossland said.

As he progressed through middle and high school, he never thought about playing in college until his sophomore year. “I didn’t think I was good enough [but when The AirForce Academy contacted me, they] said, ‘No, we saw your videos. They were good.’ So I went down there and I played [with them].” Although Crossland did not make that team, it opened a new door. “I realized then that I could play [in college], because I could compete

with all those guys,” Crossland said.

From that point on, Crossland and his dad worked hard to get him recognized by other

Dancing Through Summer

Sharing her passion for dancing, Summer Stolle explains her decision to study in New York One-and-two-and-three-and four-and-fiveand-six-and-one… The calm consistent rhythm runs through her head as she delicately moves across the floor, not thinking about what step comes next. The audience watches in awe, not making a single sound. They feel the tension in the auditorium as she expresses passion and emotion without words. As her performance comes to an end, the audience roars with applause and she feels free, like she is flying, and wants to do it all over again. “It’s exhilarating, like adrenaline. You can just get lost in what you are trying to convey to the audience and perform,” said senior Summer Stolle, describing what it is like to be on stage.

Stolle first experienced this feeling starting at the young age of two when she began taking classes in her mother’s newly founded dance studio, Heather Stolle’s School of Dance. “I just did it for fun, but then I had a teacher who decided to pursue it, and she back-up dances for Taylor Swift. I thought, ‘You can actually do this for a career. I can’t imagine being able to do this everyday of my life and get paid for it.’

That sounds like the best thing in the world,” Stolle said. Stolle’s passion for dance continued to grow all through elementary, middle and high school, but she never thought about pursuing it as a career until her middle school dance teacher inspired her.

Dance plays a major role in Stolle’s everyday life, as her entire family is involved. Stolle practices everyday and works hard to attain new skills. “It’s something you can keep striving for.

You can never meet all the perfections of ballet,” Stolle said. “[But] it’s my favorite thing to do.

If I have a bad day, or I am stressed out because of school, I just get to go do dance every afternoon and practice.”

Stolle began her pursuit of dancing as a career by applying to some of the top dance programs in US colleges, including the programs at UT, Chapman University, Mary Marymount Manhattan College and Pace University.

Because Stolle plans to major in dance and graduate with a BFA (Bachelor of Fine Arts) in commercial dance, Pace University was her first choice. She began to create a profile online which includes a video of a dance solo, a letter of recommendation, a ballet photo and her resume. From there she could be picked for a live audition. At Pace, this audition is three

hours of class and includes one hour of ballet, one hour of jazz, 30 minutes of tap dancing and 30 minutes of hip-hop. Stolle recalled that the idea of it all was, “pretty nerve-racking.”

When Stolle was selected for an audition at Pace, she prepared to enter a competitive arena of many dancers who all want the same spot.

Unfortunately, Stolle was “really sick the week before my audition and I was really stressing out. But it was really nice because everyone was praying and I felt really loved by a lot of people.”

Despite her sickness, she persevered through the audition. “[I was] excited but a little nervous because there were a lot of girls there and a lot of them were really good, but it was a fun audition,” Stolle said.

Stolle will attend Pace University in New York in the fall. She is on the right track for pursuing her dream and will continue to be grateful for the blessing of having “a medium to communicate some things that most people can’t or don’t have the opportunity [to].”

Summer Stolle

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Wearing the Cone of Fame

With a passion for acting. Savannah Cone adds auditioning to her college application process

Savannah Cone

The applause stops. It’s pitch black, and so quiet the only sound she hears is her heart pounding against her chest. Suddenly the curtains open and she is blinded by the spotlight. For a split second she forgets everything, but it all comes back in the blink of an eye and the play begins and goes just as planned. “It feels like time is warped [and] it’s thrilling right before it begins,” senior Savannah Cone describes her favorite moment of acting.

Throughout middle school, Cone participated in the drama department at Geneva and began to really show an interest in acting outside school in eighth grade. She developed a love for being “able to tell a story through [acting] and how that story, if told well, can point back to the truth of Jesus Christ,” Cone said. “Through secular writing and through secular plays and common themes you can share the truth of the gospel through a way that is fun and enjoyable.”

Cone continued to pursue acting in and outside of school throughout her high school career but was uncertain if she wanted to follow that path in college.

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PHOTOGRAPHY BY SMUGMUG

“I wanted to keep that door open I guess and just see where the Lord was leading me,” Cone said.

Because Cone was not sure of what she planned to study in college, she decided to audition for the theatre programs at the schools she applied to, which include Baylor University, SMU and UT. At each audition, Cone was required to perform two monologues which are about two minutes long each and one character acts by themselves to tell a story. “A good monologue will tell the whole story in and of itself really fast,” Cone said. Though every audition is different, Cone felt, “pretty nervous [before each one] because you go in by yourself and talk to all the other kids before which is kind of scary because they all started talking about their resumes and what they have done. I thought, ‘I can’t compare to them,’” Cone said.

Out of all the schools Cone applied to, Baylor seemed to be the perfect match for her.

They have a program that combines regular school and acting which is exactly what she was looking for. Cone will attend Baylor University in the fall while still being able to spread the word of God through a secular part of the world. She is able to shine God’s light on the stage of the acting industry, and that is truly beautiful.

Born Young and Talented

Delaney Young pursues music alongside college academics test that measures how good you are at theory, play scales that measure how well you know the various keys, perform one piece of music from each of the three periods (Baroque, Classical, and Romantic) and prove her sight-reading skills, where they place a piece of music in front of you and give you 30 seconds to read it and then play it. When Young entered her audition for Wheaton, she “was so nervous, like, not fully functioning,” Young said. “I felt sick and I was woozy and just not feeling good. I was excited, but not the good kind of excited. I was a nervous wreck.”

As she went through the scales and played her first two pieces, she waited in anticipation to play her piece from the Romantic period.

She chose to play a piece by Frederic Chopin because “it was very flow-y and it had the pedal in it…it calmed my nerves a little bit.”

But the nerves came back shortly after, because Young ended with the sight reading. “I was terrified. I was like I can’t do this…but I made it through alive,” Young said. “I didn’t feel like I did very well…I wasn’t confident. I didn’t think I was going to get in and I wanted it so badly,” Young said.

Because of her uncertainty of how she performed, Young canceled her application to the Conservatory and applied to the general school in the college of arts and sciences to be sure she could still be apart of the Wheaton community. Much to her surprise, a few weeks later she received an email from Wheaton that read, “Congratulations! We are so happy to accept you to the Conservatory.”

“It was a surreal feeling because I didn’t expect this to be coming and I didn’t think I was good enough to get in,” Young remembered. However, Young will remain in the Wheaton college of arts and sciences where she plans to graduate with a B.A. in music.

This will allow her to have more options where she can pair her music with her writing and journalism skills.

Young will attend Wheaton College this fall and pursue piano as a career where she will continue to feel “that big emotional experience where you can’t help but feel what the composer was feeling when writing.”

Delaney Young

Her hands gracefully move across the keys as she quickly plays each note, blending them together to create a beautiful song. Her passion for music has grown everyday since she was nine. She moves with the music like it is apart of her, playing every note as if it were her own.

Simply playing piano for her friends or just because she has time brings her so much joy; piano is how she relates to the world around her.

Beginning in third grade, senior Delaney Young was encouraged by her parents to start playing the piano. She was hesitant at first but ended up becoming more passionate about it by fifth and sixth grade. She really began to express her love for it by the time she entered high school. “[It has] helped me to connect with people the most,” Young said. “Whether it’s me learning a piece people have heard before and can say, ‘Oh that’s so beautiful, I heard that on the radio!’ or if it’s learning Coldplay for my friends, or even just sitting around talking about music that we all enjoy, [piano] has been a big part of bringing people together and I want to continue to do that.”

Last summer, after attending a music camp at Wheaton College, Young decided to pursue piano as a college career. “We went to this orchestra and saw Tchaikovsky’s 4th Symphony and got to see what it was like in the day of a musician,” Young said. “But just getting to go through that day and seeing the concert at the end of the night was one of the best days of my whole summer. I remember thinking, ‘That is definitely what I want to do in college.’”

From there, Young began the process of applying to two well-known music schools, the Conservatory of Music at Wheaton College and the music program at Gordon College.

Young auditioned at both schools, which required her to take a placement

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PHOTOGRAPHY BY JACQUELINE KNOX

The Making of a Thesis A first glimpse at the many benefits a senior thesis presentation has to offer

BY NATHAN YOUNG

O

ne pair of eyes scans the crowd and a mass of eyes stare back. The speaker’s heart is beating rapidly, while the audience waits in calm anticipation. Gathering every bit of courage and concentration, the speaker opens his mouth to speak, and everyone in the audience closes theirs’.

Public Speaking is the number one fear of 41% of Americans. These people fear public speaking more than death. It requires more than pure research and knowledge of the topic‌ it takes courage and determination to speak in front of a group of people. Presenting a Geneva senior thesis is a challenge; any Geneva graduate will tell you that without hesitation.

They will tell you that it takes time, effort, and the ability to resist procrastination. However, it is likely that they will also tell you how they benefited from it. That being said, one must

understand the process of a senior thesis before understanding its true potential to be something remarkable.

Students begin their thesis journey by determining their topic in April of their junior year. They establish their claim, initial views and basic arguments that will eventually be molded into their final presentation. Over the summer, students begin their research by reading books written for and against their claim.

When school starts in September, the students write a narratio that explains their topic and defines any parts that may be confusing.

By Christmas, the seniors have written several papers, an antithesis, their outline and, most importantly, their first draft of their senior thesis.

The second semester is focused on memorization, presentation, and Q&A. In April, they present in front of a practice panel,

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ARTWORK BY NOAH BENSON

and finally, in May they present their senior thesis.

The presentation of a senior thesis is the pinnacle of a Geneva education: the cherry-on-top of the grammar, logic and rhetoric that these students have been trained in. The senior thesis is and should be the single best academic work any senior accomplishes in their Geneva career.

However daunting this task may seem, the Geneva education has readily equipped its students to face it. “The Geneva education you receive will more than prepare you for this presentation... In the moment, it is easy to become overwhelmed with anxiety or nerves, but at the end of the day you will have created something you are incredibly proud of,” senior Erica Shelton said.

Senior thesis has existed since the foundations of Rhetoric School were laid. “The first plan for Rhetoric School included a thesis class in the senior year. We knew from the start we wanted such a program,” Mr. Brad Ryden, Head of School, said.

However, what the students were capable of creating had yet to be discovered.

Language arts teacher and thesis instructor Mrs. Debbie Wheeler said about the first group of seniors to take on the challenge, “Mr. Shelton and I worked together with the senior class of 2011… They were truly our pioneers, as they always had been. They did not have the example that all the classes since have received. We had a couple of DVDs of presentations at Regents to critique and glean from, but that was it!”

This first graduating class of 19 students had no idea what they were getting into, yet faced it with bold willingness.

Meredith Drukker (2011) wrote an article in “The Muse” (the school’s former newspaper) on the senior

thesis. In it she wrote, “This year we all have opportunities to present ourselves to our peers, parents, teachers and extended student body in such a way that owning our education is no longer an option… No longer are the excuses, ‘but I don’t care about Pythagorean theorem,’ ‘No one even speaks Latin anymore,’ and ‘I’m never going to have to label the parts of a cell in real life’ (even though they are not necessarily good ones) valid.

The student chooses his or her senior thesis, therefore it should be something the student cares about.”

The truth in this is without question. The topics that the seniors choose are about real, relevant life issues and real, logical ways of improving them. There is no reason for indifference towards a topic of one’s choosing.

Depending on one’s perspective, the senior thesis can be either a blessing or a curse. Sure, there is much that must be sacrificed along the way, but there is so much more to gain just by doing it and doing it well.

The seniors have the opportunity to express their views to those around them.

Senior Grant Gombert put it this way: “Senior thesis will be exactly what you make of it. Obviously, it will require billions of hours of work – that is just a given. However, it can end up being an enjoyable process if you think of it as someone handing you a 40 minute soapbox.” People arrive at the Lyceum wanting to hear what the seniors have to say, curious of what views they might offer. This can be seen as an opportunity or a nuisance; it is up to the seniors to decide.

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The ability to present their thoughts on found what they’d like to pursue as a career,” an important topic is not all the seniors gain Short said. The seniors are usually more than through this process. Senior thesis advisor Mrs. just curious about the topics that they select.

Hillary Short said, “Speaking in front of a group The topics involve things that matter to them, places the students leaps and they often are related to what and bounds ahead of where the students want to do in college many adults are with and for the rest of their lives. the normal nervousness The research, contemplation, “Speaking in front of public presentation.” and exploration of their topic of a group places Public speaking is lead to a deeper knowledge and a key staple in the understanding, and prepare the the students leaps Geneva curriculum. It is students to defend and justify and bounds ahead of impossible to go through their views. “The program has Logic and Rhetoric allowed students at the end of where many adults school without having their Geneva education to show are with the normal presented something you the depth and breadth of their wrote to your classmates nervousness of public understanding on a topic of their at least a dozen times. choosing,” said Short. presentation.”

This emphasis on public Although there are many speaking is not without benefits, they come with a price. reason. Public speaking A Geneva senior thesis is a has been shown to strengthen skills like critical challenge, as it should be. It requires countless thinking, vocabulary, self-confidence, logical hours, great determination, a desire for reasoning and other valuable qualities. excellence, and the courage to present in front “The writing process in itself helps to of an expecting crowd. But every challenge has prepare students for any job. Some have even its rewards, and a senior thesis is no exception.

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The Score

BATTER UP

Students explain a day in the life of a spring sports athlete pg. 26

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PHOTOGRAPH COURTESY OF SMUGMUG

A tribute to

COACH STOLLE Both former and current Geneva athletes bid a farewell to their influential athletic director

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One of my favorite memories of Coach Stolle was right before a football game, must have been 8th grade year. We were warming up when the other team started to set up on our side of the field, on our bench! Stolle wasn’t about to let that happen. He went over there and got right up in that coach’s face. That other coach must have stood about 6’5, probably 220lbs and Coach Stolle, not being all that tall, got right up in his face and just chewed him out for being on our side of the field. Then and there we all realized that he was willing to stand up for us and our school no matter what. We all gained a lot of respect for him as that other coach, with fear in his eyes, lead his team to the other side of the field.

I still laugh about that moment. Coach Stolle is a good, kind, Christian man, but don’t you dare cross him and his boys.

- LAWRENCE MIXON (2015)

One of my favorite things about Coach Stolle was that he was always open to the players’ opinion. He respected our ideas and encouraged us to come up with them. Also, he cared about more than just our performance on the field. He wanted to know how we were doing outside of sports.

He also had the ability to joke around with us while keeping us focused when we needed to be.

He truly valued teamwork and the relationships that were built through competition. All in all, I’m grateful to have had him as a coach for multiple [football] seasons and to have won a state championship with him.

-CINCO WINSTON (2015)

Coach Stolle was more than a great coach because he coached us beyond our athletic abilities and focused on what truly matters. With everything he made us do there was always a lesson and purpose behind it. From scoring only two points in a whole basketball game to winning a state championship, he has always been behind me. What amazes me is that he has articulated what it means to become a man so well simply by the way he leads. Although there are many stories of him pushing me to be a better athlete, I believe the best way he has pushed me is to become a better man. I may forget everything I’ve learned in the classroom, but I’ll never forget the ways he taught me how to be a good coach, a great father, and a true Christian man.

-SENIOR HAYDEN BOMGAARS

Coach Stolle not only wanted us to succeed on the football field but wanted us to succeed in all aspects of life. Me and Coach developed a friendship throughout the years. Coach Stolle cared about his players far more than your typical football coach. He cared about us as individuals. It was pleasure getting to know him. He will be dearly missed. I appreciate all the encouragement and love he poured out on us. I wish him nothing but the best moving forward. God bless y’all.

-BRYCE HARTIS (2015)

I met Scott Stolle when I was in 6th Grade. He led the boys’ devotionals in the mornings and always taught us about responding well to situations in life. Stolle has been a very influential person in my life and many Geneva athletes’ [lives] throughout the years. Although his time at Geneva is littered with many state championships, his ultimate goal is not to win, but for the athletes he coaches to become better people and followers of God. He constantly preached that sports make you a better man or woman. It is not about winning the game, but what you take away from it. He has put together an exceptional coaching staff over the years and has helped mentor student athletes wherever they need it. He critiqued each player to become a better man on and off the field, and imbued all of us with many leadership qualities. Geneva has been lucky to have a man like him leading our athletics program. While his efforts, actions, and coaching will be missed, it is the man he is that will be remembered. Greatness follows him wherever he goes and he will always be part of Geneva because of the qualities he has instilled in the students who have passed through these doors.

-SENIOR HUNTER HAMON

Coach Stolle was an awesome coach. He knew football well, but taught us a lot more than how to play it. He showed us how to face adversity, pick yourself back up after a defeat, the value of perseverance and most importantly, how to be a Godly man. Thank you Coach for all of the great memories and lessons.

-CLAYTE KIRCHNER (2015) G | 22

During my time at Geneva, Coach Stolle has been one of the people I look up to most. He has been a great coach and mentor and has truly taught my friends and me what it means to be a godly man and a loving father.

I will never forget the few seasons we had with him as a coach or the lessons he has taught me.

-SENIOR COLTON BREHM

Coach Stolle has been far more than an athletic director and coach to me. This man genuinely cares about creating relationships with his athletes. He has been a great leader and remarkable asset to Geneva for a long time now. As a student, I always felt comfortable going to him with any problem, challenge or question. His door was always open and he was a great friend and mentor.

-ZACK JONAS (2015)

Coach Stolle has played a special role in my sports career at Geneva, from coaching us in 7th grade basketball to helping out with our 8th grade football team. Since we came to Geneva the same year, it’s been my pleasure to watch him grow the athletics program, providing encouragement, a competitive edge through his personal competitive spirit, and a Godly example to maturing young men. He will be dearly missed.

- SENIOR REYNOLDS WALKER G | 23

thought it was friday. turns out it is monday.

The Score

Well Played An inside look into the heads of seniors during sporting events

BY JACQUELINE KNOX AND DANIEL GROVER

halfway through senior thesis presentation

mr.graham just called me to speak to him in private.

ALL PHOTOGRAPHY COURTESY OF SMUGMUG

Picturing the rest of my life

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my preciousss

BEFORE MRS. WHEELER TELLS ME TO TAKE THE HEM OUT

Now I understand how people feel when they are standing next to me.

WATCH ME WHIP. nOW WATCH ME NAE NAE.

G | 25

Wait, I thought we had a game today.

The Score

A Day in the Life: Athletes Spring into Action Student athletes share the details of what they do on game or tournament days

BASEBALL Austin Owens 9:00 p.m. (the night before) I always do my

baseball laundry then I watch an hour of Netflix and go to bed.

9:45 a.m. I wake up, unless I have Spanish homework (I generally fake my way through it with the help of Google Translate).

10:30 a.m. I shower and get dressed.

10:57 a.m. I arrive at Geneva after driving on I-10 for 15 minutes. I can usually comfortably walk to class unless I get stopped at a light, then I sprint to class (Stats class B can attest to that).

11:00 a.m. I arrive at AP Spanish on time and somehow get through the hour and ten minute period.

12:10 p.m. I go to Reynolds’ car and talk to him for a little bit.

12:15 p.m. On game days, I always go to Whataburger for lunch.

1:00 p.m. I come back to school and watch a little Netflix in my car until Lit class starts.

1:10 p.m. Because of Mr. Russell’s perfect reading voice, I sometimes take a nap or engage in conversation.

2:25 p.m. I go to AP Calculus (sometimes).

3:35 p.m. After AP Calculus, I go to Valero and get a blue gatorade and daisy G | 26

ranch sunflower seeds, then come back to Geneva.

4:10 p.m. I get back to Geneva and watch some more Netflix, and then Ryne generally comes to my truck and we sometimes go back to Valero.

5:00 p.m. We come back and do all the baseball warm-up stuff.

7:00 p.m. After the game, we go to Chili’s, Dog and Pony or Longhorn Cafe.

8:45 p.m. I get home and go to bed.

ALL PHOTOGRAPHY COURTESY OF SMUGMUG

GOLF Brighton Chen

1:00 p.m. I catch one of the girls cheating, but

apologize for calling her out because I don’t want to get beaten up.

2:00 p.m. Just when I think I’m going to die because it is so hot, I look down at my scorecard only to find out I have 7 holes left...

3:00 p.m. I sit on the ground and wait patiently as two girls take 10+ practice swings before hitting the ball.

4:00 p.m. Finally, I only have 3 holes left. I am so tired that I stop taking practice swings and just hope for the best. I end up parring those last few holes.

5:00 p.m. I watch Trip and another player compete for first place in a playoff. After, medals are given and I receive first place for girls and our girls’ team wins as well.

6:00 p.m. I get home, take a shower, and go straight to bed, sunburned.

7:00 a.m. I wake up and change into

a cute golf outfit with a matching hat, so even if I play bad, I look good.

8:00a.m. I go to Mary’s Tacos because one can only play well with a full stomach (I actually lost one of my tacos one time, and it was so sad.

It was like losing a child).

9:00 a.m. Get on the bus and suffer for 50 minutes listening to Hayden’s music choice (till this day I still have no idea what that was).

10:00 a.m. I arrive at Ft. Sam golf course and begin warming up. I attempt to look intimidating but find that is impossible for a small girl like me.

11:00 a.m. I make my way to my starting hole, #13, and meet my fellow opponents. We all make par on that hole.

12:00 p.m. It isn’t long until I realize how slow my group is playing, but I don’t want to say anything because the girls look scary.

TRACK Marshall Shults

1:30 p.m. I get on the bus.

2:00-3:00 p.m. I sleep until the bus stops.

3:30 p.m. Coach Brock yells at the boys to grab the tent.

3:30 p.m. We arrive our traditional one

hour before everyone else (thanks to Coach Herbort).

4:00 p.m. I go back to sleep under the tent.

4:30 p.m. I wake up to throw discus and shotput.

4:35 p.m. I throw.

5:00 p.m. I go back under the tent to sleep after yelling at Emme while she runs the 2 mile.

6:30 p.m. After a couple hours…Reynolds, John, Ty and I warm up for our relay.

6:00-7:00 p.m. While warming up, Ty usually complains about his leg.

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7:00 p.m. We run the 4x1.

7:01 p.m. After the race, Coach

Herbort shows us our time and says good job.

8:00 p.m. I wait another hour and run the 4x2.

8:30 p.m. After the 4x2, I usually just walk around and wait for my last race (200m open).

9:00 p.m. I run the 200, and then I go home.

THE SCORE

8:00 a.m. I wake up in the hotel and see

Grover leaving. We are too lazy to go support him.

9:00 a.m. I wake up again and wonder where I am.

10:00 a.m. I should probably get ready to go for the day.

11:00 a.m. I sit in the lobby and wonder why Mrs. Taylor, the tennis coach, is driving a super nice Escalade.

12:00 p.m. I wait for our food at McAlister’s and watch Grant write his Instagram name on Splenda packets and pass it out to a girls’ soccer team.

1:00 p.m. I warm up for tennis and realize I'm going to get smashed.

2:00 p.m. I try to figure out why I am playing a 40 year old.

3:00 p.m. I think about how nice the sauna is going to be back at the hotel.

4:00 p.m. I sit around and joke about how Ashton’s nick-name is "Satan.”

5:00 p.m. I listen to how my dad is mad at me because he drove all the way to Waco to watch me lose. And how I "owe him" gas money? Not sure.

6:00 p.m. I watch the girls that are still killing it in the tournament.

7:00 p.m. I pretend to be a coach but really just point out that the girl Ally is playing is thirsty.

8:00 p.m. I drive over to Texas Road House listening to some quality jams in Mrs. Taylor’s Escalade.

9:00 p.m. I slowly eat Texas Road House rolls so no one notices that I have had 9 of them already.

10:17 p.m. I get back to the hotel and find out that the sauna closed at 10pm.

11:00 p.m. I decide that the fountain outside will have to suffice.

12:00 a.m. I go to bed and we decide it would be a good idea not to set an alarm.

8:27 a.m. Mrs. Taylor knocks on the door with a look of disappointment because we were supposed to be in the lobby packed and ready to go 27 minutes ago.

TENNIS G | 28

Zach Arthur

Culture

HAD A BLAST IN THE PAST Nine Students. Thirteen years.

One Big Happy Family. pg. 34

PHOTOGRAPHY COURTESY OF MARY CLAIRE BROCK

Josh Chandler Saying goodbye to his school community, Chandler talks about what it means to be a student at Geneva and how that has influenced him G | 30

PHOTOGRAPHY BY KATELYN DAVIS

Valedictorian

T

hroughout my time at Geneva, I’ve learned and experienced many amazing things. Looking from the outside in, many would say that Geneva is a school focused mainly on academics; that it is an educational experience comprised of rigorous, intense academic study. Others would say that Geneva focuses more on sports, trying to become State Champions in every sport. Other groups would say that Geneva is a school that puts all of its efforts into the fine arts; breeding students who go on to become singer-songwriters, actors, actresses, or artists. Each and every one of these things are part of the school, but they are not what truly define Geneva.

The most distinctive thing about Geneva, and what I believe to be the thing that makes all the areas above a successful reality, is the Geneva community. As a Genevian, you become part of a tightly-knit family of students, teachers, staff and parents who are “all in.” Until you experience it, you simply cannot fully understand this amazing “community,” as it is truly a rarity. Some of my fondest memories are of times like when all the seniors came together just to hang out on Senior Skip Day or Friday lunches, when parents came alongside to help with Thanksgiving gift baskets to local churches, Field Day or Harvest Fest, and when teachers joined in a game of chess or took time to mentor us. As a student, you can always count on encouragement and support from parents, staff and peers alike.

From the extracurricular perspective, a student has the opportunity to get involved in many things such as debate, art, theatre, choir, band, and others. Some of my best friendships have stemmed from my four years of theatre where we worked together each year to put on several musical or dramatic performances.

Additionally, as a musician, the TAPPS music competitions are always fun times.

At these competitions, you get to go on road trips and experience great camaraderie with friends. Whether it’s playing cards, eating out at restaurants, or playing music together with excellence, everybody has a great time and friendships blossom and grow.

From the sports perspective, even though I was not as involved in sports, I can say with certainty that the Geneva sports are some of the best. The teams are comprised of amazing students who truly understand teamwork, and those who are not in the game go out to support our teams. The thrill of the games, the cheering crowd, and of course, the singing of the Alma Mater after every game (win or lose), are what make our sports unique.

Finally, the teachers are all genuinely interested in helping each student to do their best academically. But more importantly, the teachers and faculty are invested in seeing us develop as Christ-followers and champions for God in the world. They pour into us from their vast array of knowledge and pray for us on a daily basis.

That is something that I will always hold dear.

So what is the Geneva community about? It’s about family, friendships, supporting one an-other, growing together, acting crazy, having fun, and glorifying our heavenly Father in everything we do, and doing so together.

We sing, “Non nobis Domine, non nobis, sed nomini tuo da gloriam” - Not to us oh Lord, not to us, but to your name give the glory.”

Geneva School of Boerne and Geneva community - I am grateful. You will forever be in my heart.

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PHOTOGRAPHY BY KATELYN DAVIS

Salutatorian

While expressing gratitude, Richardson unpacks his previous expectations of his high school experience in a witty tribute to Geneva

Drei Richardson

A

s this is my last remaining year at Geneva, and I am graduating as Salutatorian, it has apparently been deemed appropriate by the powersthat-be for me to say a few parting words. However, this article was written late several nights after it was due, so please keep in mind that it is likely to be both totally incoherent and nonsensical, and contain multiple movie references.

When I first came into Rhetoric School as a dewy-eyed young freshman I was unbearably naive. I thought that high school would be a fun, relatively easy experience. Boy was I wrong. Freshman year rapidly cured me of these delusions. If you still have the idea that high school is fun and easy by the end of freshmen year, there is something wrong with you.

On the bright side, I also was inducted into the Sci-Fi club freshman year. ScienceFiction club is a great refuge for all of you Geneva nerds out there. I highly recommend it, except for the fact we never watched Alien vs. Predator, despite my weekly exhortations to do so. In addition, more Arnold Schwarzenegger movies are needed. But apart from that, it was an absolute blast.

At the beginning of my senior year, I thought nothing would stand in my way. I was determined to finish what I started by taking four AP classes. This, in retrospect, was not a great idea. IMPORTANT WARNING: Never, ever, take that many courses in your senior year.

Despite all these letdowns, Geneva has been a great school to attend. I’ve had a good time here, and made some great friends and memories. I can honestly say that I doubt any other school could have been better.

But a few words of advice, and then you can stop reading this. First, do not expect Geneva to be perfect. It’s not. Like any other community, it’s made up of sinful human beings (although some of our faculty may seem almost angelic or demonic). But a thing isn’t beautiful because it’s perfect. There is grace in our failings. Remember that you aren’t here simply to get a high school diploma, but also to become a young person who walks in the path of righteousness for the sake of the Lord.

The teachers here will have a major influence on your life. Mr. Johnson and Mr. Tye have forever doomed me to be a Sci-Fi/Fantasy nerd (notice I didn’t say a good effect).

Mr. Russell has convinced me to never read great American literature by having me read things like “The Unvanquished” and “A Farewell to Arms” (and to all the poor, remaining underclassmen who still must read these books, I can’t lie to you about your chances, but you have my sympathies). Mr. Shelton, on the other hand, has shown me a great example of how a Christian man should act. Dr. Rosheger has made me think and reconsider my views on several topics. Be grateful that you have such terrific faculty members.

In conclusion...

Hasta la vista, baby.

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THE GRADUATING CLASS IN 2002 Mrs. Wilks poses with the full day Kindergarten class that still met at St. Johns.

Culture

From Playground to Podium

The Guild members, who represent students who have gone through Geneva all 13 years, remember their school days

BY NATHAN ZUNIGA

PHOTO COURTESY OF MARY CLAIRE BROCK

P

icture a group of kindergartners playing at recess. Look to the right, where a few children are walking across rocks.

Anyone would see this and think that these are just a few kids messing around.

But this is far different from what is going on inside the children’s heads. In their minds, they are trekking through the Grand Canyon, living off of what little resources they brought with them,

in their own game called “Survivor.” A few steps away, near a big oak tree, some kids play a game of “House.”

On the other side of the playground, a bunch of students are playing an intense game of kickball.

There is huge diversity across the playground as each child’s imagination runs wildly through a unique, make-believe world. In what seems like the blink of an eye, these same kids will grown up to be the intelligent young men and women throwing graduation caps into the air. Not only that, but these kids will experience everything in between together, as a family. Now, fast forward thirteen years, and the same children who were once hiking the Boerne Grand Canyon, are now about to step across the stage, going from the playground to a podium.

It is rare indeed for a teenager to sustain a 13 year relationship, much less with nine separate people.

This year, Geneva recognizes nine seniors graduating as a member of the Guild, students who underwent the transformation together from kindergarten to graduation. It includes Caleb Hohne, Greta Millett, Mary Claire Brock, Delaney Young, Heather Jonas, Kaylea Burt, Addison Lipe, Grant Gombert and Mary Liz Winston.

The Geneva Guild started with the Class of 2012, the second class to graduate from the school. When those students were in elementary school, Geneva classes were held at St. John’s Lutheran Church. At this time, the school had very few students.

Those who stayed the whole 13 years witnessed an extraordinary evolution in the school’s history: the relocation from St. John’s to the current campus. “I am thankful that St. John’s let us use their buildings, but I am also thankful that God has blessed us with our campus, especially now,” said senior Heather Jonas.

“I remember walking into my kindergarten classroom at St. John’s,” senior Mary Claire Brock said. “There was a cozy fireplace, wood floors and the gentlest voices who welcomed us in.” Even though it was over a decade ago, this year’s seniors hold their few memories at St. Johns close to their heart. They moved to the current Geneva campus after their kindergarten year.

A group of administrators, Mrs. Amy Metzger, Mrs. Beverly Johnson, Headmaster Mr. Brad Ryden and a few others sat down and discussed the idea of the Guild. In 2012, three students, Lauren Schuhmacher, Hannah Vandiver and Lydia Johnson, who experienced the Geneva education in its G | 35

entirety, were recognized as members of the Geneva Guild. Later, they were given the Commencement cross. Since then, every year at graduation, a group of students are recognized as members of the Geneva Guild and are rewarded for their thirteen year commitment with a tassel and a special gift. Mrs. Gombert commissioned Clint Orms, Silversmith craftsman and fine jewelry maker, to make a pendant. Since last year, it has now become the gift for the guild members.

But the reward isn’t the important part about the Guild. The important part is the family that they become throughout the years. They have all seen Geneva go from a few fields and portable buildings to a full blown campus.

“Now, as I see the new Geneva School building going up, I am constantly reminded of God’s faithfulness to our school and to what He has done here, and to what He has yet to do here,” said Heather Jonas.

It’s a pretty significant commitment for families and students to be a part of the Geneva community for all of the thirteen years. The Guild recognizes the commitment of both students and parents who have been part of this long journey, a journey of spiritual and educational growth and the forming of relationships. Parents at Geneva, especially, share one of the most significant pieces of their life journey parenting with other people for

over a decade. Stacy Winston has been part of the Geneva community for over fifteen years, having had four kids enrolled at Geneva and three already graduated.

The Winstons moved from Houston to Boerne in 2002, largely due to the desire to have their kids attend Geneva. That fall, David Winston entered 4th grade, Becca Winston was in 2nd grade and Cinco Winston was in half-day kindergarten. Mary Liz Winston would begin school the following year.

“Even when there were so many things that Geneva didn’t have yet, we always felt that what Geneva was able to offer was so much more valuable than anything that was lacking. It was the Christian worldview and classical methods that brought us to Geneva and kept us here,” said Stacy Winston.

Fifteen years spent interacting with the same community can take an emotional toll on someone when it comes time to say goodbye, “We are about to see our fourth child walk across the stage to graduate. Of course there are mixed emotions to see this sweet chapter for our family come to a close. We will miss serving and interacting with all the incredible people--parents, faculty and students alike. But mostly, we are grateful that the Lord allowed us to be part of this unique and special community of people at Geneva,” said Stacy Winston.

BEAUTY QUEENS ( front row, l-r), Delaney Young, Greta Millet, Mary Claire Brock (back row), Savannah Cone, Madison Barclay, Kaylea Burt and Addie Lipe.

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PHOTOGRAPHY BY HOGAN PETRIE

It really is honorable to begin something and then finish it, knowing that they have gone through all of the ups and downs that come with staying at one community for such a long period.

And with those ups and downs, students become not only friends, but family.

“When I look at the 13 year trek at Geneva, it reminds me a little bit of a small town, to tell you the truth. There are some challenges being raised in a small town, but there are also great joys and great blessings,” Metzger said.

There is a great importance in staying at Geneva for the entire course. Academically, it is really significant to build on something from the start. A student builds a foundation in Grammar school with skills to understand what it really means to be a part of the body of Christ and how to interact with one another. Then in Logic school, they build on the skills of being a thoughtful person, and what is required to reconcile different ideas. In Rhetoric School, students start to engage in the marketplace of ideas in both writing and in speaking. Then, once it has come time to leave this place, having practiced in a number of both formal and informal settings, students will be able to apply what they have learned at Geneva in their daily lives.

“Geneva has taught me how to think on my own and form my own opinions through logic, reason, and relationship with Christ.

And really, it is the reason I have so many great friendships and that’s the most important thing I will take away from Geneva”, said Kaylea Burt.

From these experiences, they can walk into any job interview and be able to have a meaningful conversation with whomever they may be speaking to. When a student looks at a portrait of a graduate, they aren’t going to mirror that portrait perfectly, but that is what they aim for, to see the value in other people and how they have been made in God’s image. Every one of these kids walked through these same stages, and experienced the same growth in their life.

“It’s rare to be able to say you have been friends with most of the people in your class for 10 years or more. These girls in particular are my sisters. They have shaped my life and a lot of who I am...They know me to the core and love me so well through every season of life. For those things alone, I could not be more grateful and they will forever make my memories at Geneva all the more special,” said Mary Claire Brock While there is importance in staying at Geneva for all 13 years academically, the memories shared with their fellow students and the relationships made with teachers are very important as well. For many, the growth of memories and relationships start in eighth grade on the Washington D.C. trip and junior and senior year on the Europe trip.

“It's rare to be able to say you have been friends with most of the people in your class for 10 years or

more. These girls in particular are my sisters. They have shaped my life and a lot of who I am. We've experienced the playdates of elementary school together, the lunch room giggles, the awkward braces years of middle school, the crushes, the dances, the hard times, the good times, the late nights talking about life, the late nights studying until we couldn't study anymore, the laughter that turned into tears of joy, the tears that turned into laughter, the acceptance letters, the decisions and now we will experience some of our first real goodbyes together. They know me to the core and love me so well through every season of life. For those things alone, I could not be more grateful and they will forever make my memories at Geneva all the more special,” -Mary Claire Brock

F PHOTOGRAPH BY HOGAN PETRIE

FLOWER POWER Mary Liz Winston, Greta Millett and Heather Jonas recreate their Kindergarten benefit picture.

“My favorite memories are when students were required to awkwardly recite their oratories at grave yards and other tourist attractions. The awkward situations created were truly priceless,” said Grant Gombert.

Almost every guild member has been quoted by saying that these two events were the first times that their grade really bonded together.

“The Europe trip really brought us all together. Leaving this place after 13 years is going to be difficult,” said Addison Lipe.

Whether it was looking at the Washington monument or hiking the mountains in Delphi, these students had a blast on these two trips that they will never forget.

And one of the most important aspects of being at Geneva for all this time is experiencing the relationships with the teachers. From Mrs. Greenlees performing miracles by getting people through math, to Mr. Tye making school remotely fun. And the time Mr. Johnson piled a bunch of cramped students in the back of a van while they ate dough-nuts and listened to The Script. Students, including Gombert and Lipe, share great memories of Mrs. Dunn from the time Lipe’s flying squirrel flew down Dunn’s shirt, to the time she took out her accordion and played a Norwegian folk song as the class would laugh and dance along.

And so many students, including Winston,

are thankful for their coaches that pushed them through tough practices and long games.

“Joe Regnier was our coach for basketball and he left a huge impact in our lives. I wouldn’t have played basketball in high school if it wasn’t for him. He pushed us, encouraged us, and was the best coach we have ever had, and that is something I will be forever grateful for,” said Mary Liz Winston.

This Journey, this long journey, was not easy. These nine students made it through all thirteen years, and are proud to be a part of the Geneva Guild. This journey of growth has brought them together as a family. Those kids who were once playing silly games on the playground have been formed into the body of Christ. And maybe these students will be able remember this family for the rest of their lives.

“It is really a beautiful thing to be raised in this small

town, this small town that is Geneva. And I hope that the sweetness of that is something that these students take with them. So even if they are living in a giant metropolis, they will still recall what it is like to be a part of this community,” Metzger said.

G | 38

FIRST “My dad is having a panic attack, because a child leaving is new to him.” Teigen Ahrens

“It is the blind leading the blind because your parents have never done it either. Your parents are more sad when you go.” Kaylea Burt “I am the first and only one to experience the Geneva education, which is sad, but I got the best experience ever.” Joshua Chandler “My parents are pretty emotional which has actually been nice because they’ve been extra nice.” Savannah Cone “A con would be my parents are tighter on what I do.” Chloe De Vries “I get to be the guinea pig Owens child.”

Austin Owens

“I get to have new experiences.

Being the first to leave the family will be a tough transition.” Campbell Petrie

Culture

Leading the Charge or Bringing up the Rear Students weigh in on the ups and downs of being the first or last sibling in a family to graduate

“I usually get what I want because I am the baby but a con is my mom and dad are freaking out. Dad is threatening to not let me go to college so I can stay home with him.”

Mikaela Evans

“My parents have seen it all.”

Hayden Bomgaars

“I am spoiled because I am the baby, but my mom is freaking out.” Bailey Flint “Pro: Parents don’t freak out quite as much.

Con: Your parent’s begin their metamorphosis into retired old people before your very eyes.”

Grant Gombert

“I didn’t know what I was getting into by taking senior thesis. Ignorance is bliss, with respect to the above.” Drei Richardson

“We already know the process of getting into college. My mom cries way too much and won’t let me go out of state.” Sarah Habeeb

“Mom cries every time she thinks about it.”

“Mom makes me cookies, brownies and cakes every week because she won’t get to next year and she will miss it.” Emma Ingram

Jackson Ross

“I’m the first to graduate from my family. This is good because I don’t know what to expect, which makes graduation and the next chapter of my life that much more exciting. That is also the biggest downside.” David Runnels “Technically, I am the first since my name is alphabetically before Erica’s. I get to graduate about five seconds faster and feel slightly older for a short amount of time.” Emily Shelton “Technically, yes. Because Emily is alphabetically first, she will graduate first. The con is, it will allow Emily to feel older, but I need to assert my dominance.” Erica Shelton

“Everybody can compare me to Jake for the rest of my life.” Allie Martin “More relaxed trying to coordinate graduation/ college apps.” Miranda Ward “All the attention is on me for so long my family has been involved here and now my parents will be empty nesters.”

Mary Liz Winston

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Campbell Petrie

Savannah Cone

Trevor Clifford

Mary Liz Winston

Erica Shelton

Emma Ingram

Mikaela Evans

Carson Collingwood

CULTURE

Hayden Bomgaars

Teigen Ahrens

Delaney Young

David Crossland

Josh Chandler

Chloe De Vries

Reynolds Walker

Mary Claire Brock

Culture

Make a Wish

Seniors share their hopes for the future of the school

s e h s i 16 W

ARTWORK BY RUTH WACKER

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Breaking

BREAD

Seniors use Fridays as a time to bond over shared meals

BY ARIANNA FLORES

“

We volunteered to have senior lunches in our home to encourage community and help the seniors build a tighter bond throughout their senior year.

-Caliste Burt

”

PHOTOGRAPH BY ARIANNA FLORES

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F

ood. Every teenager’s number one love. There is no other item that, when carried in large quantities, can provide someone with “best friends” so instantaneously. The average Rhetoric student spends more time waiting in line at the vending machine than they do writing papers. The serving of free birthday cake causes literal traffic jams on the boardwalk. Mr. Tye’s morning Political Economics class has perfect attendance because he cooks pancakes in his classroom.

Food, for better or worse, brings people together in a way few other things can. This year’s senior class is no exception. Every Friday of the school year, the class of 2016 gathers together under one roof to enjoy food and fellowship. The Burt and Wacker families, who both live near campus, stepped up to the plate this year and volunteered to alternate serving weekly lunches to the students.

“As with so many of the ‘traditions’ at Geneva, this one happened organically,” said Paula Wacker, mother of senior Daniel Wacker. She and her husband have two Geneva graduates, and were involved with senior lunches for them as well. “We enjoyed it so much that we were delighted to be able to do it again this year for Daniel’s class,” she said.

Behind each lunch is a group of parents who plan menus and themes, while others pitch in by buying food or paper products. “We usually create a menu that fits the season or time of year. For example, during the rodeo we served bar-b-que,” Caliste Burt said. “We referred to Pinterest frequently to get help with ideas on serving a crowd.”

Caliste, mother of senior Kaylea Burt, works to make sure the lunches run successfully.

“Our hope is that the seniors will be able to look back on their final year with fun memories and to feel loved by the parents,” said Caliste.

Due to their individual course loads, seniors have varying off-periods allowing them to have off-campus privileges. The senior lunches often bleed into both the morning and afternoon schedules. “When I get home after school on Fridays, there are usually still people at my house,” said Kaylea.

Both the Burt and the Wacker residences welcome fun and games. “At the Wacker’s, the boys usually hang out to play video games.

At mine, everyone plays ping-pong,” Kaylea said. Daniel jokes that his favorite part about hanging at the Burt’s place is watching “The Bachelorette.”

Though the class of 2016 is the largest class to graduate from Geneva, the intimacy of senior

lunches brings all the members of their grade together into one family. “The biggest perk for me is I get to see everyone in our grade at the same time,” said Daniel. “Even people who don’t normally leave school [during off periods] get to come.”

Through senior lunches, the parents of the senior class not only feed high school kids literally, but help them grow relationally. “We volunteered to have senior lunches in our home to encourage community and help the seniors build a tighter bond throughout their senior year,” Caliste said.

Lunches aren’t the only meals the class of 2016 enjoys together. Senior Summer Stolle hosts a regular Friday morning breakfast at her house, which is also conveniently close to the school campus. Unlike the senior lunches, however, these informal morning gatherings lack parental organization. “At breakfast, we scrounge up whatever is at my house,” said Summer. “At the beginning of the year we had a bulletin board where people signed up for different stuff, but that didn’t really happen. It’s more of just a hodge-podge of stuff.”

The independent students truly do meals their own way at the Stolles’, as if in preparation for their time at college. “It’s fun to see which boys are really good or really bad at cooking and cleaning,” Summer said with a laugh. “Daniel always has to make the eggs, and gets mad if someone else does… We always try to make the boys take out the trash.”

The seniors honestly appreciate all the work their parents put into arranging lunches when compared to the difficulties they face coordinating who’s-making-what ingredient of their breakfast tacos. “One time, I spilled bacon grease and it burned a hole through Daniel’s shoe,” said Summer.

Although the remaining time the seniors have together is nearly gone, the memories they made eating and laughing as one will never leave.

“I hope that they have a greater appreciation for the uniqueness of each other as well as this place. I hope they are able to look back with fondness at the community that is Geneva,” Paula said.

From scrubbing pans to grilling fajitas, both students and parents alike prepare each Friday meal with a spoonful of service and a side of blessing. “One week there were brownies in the oven when the seniors started arriving, and as they walked in the door one of the boys said, ‘It smells like love in here!’” said Paula. “He was exactly right.”

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SENIOR

i

PROF LES for the graduate In the battle ran Hector, his courage overcoming his fear.

Onto his knees fell Priam, his love defeating his pride.

Amid the suitors waited Penelope, her faithfulness paling her doubt.

Out of Carthage sailed Aeneas, his promise assailing his passion.

All flickering shadows of Him to come.

All resplendent tokens of virtue’s Author.

All a people’s wish for Him who loved to the end, and created our beginning.

Be, Graduate. Be courageous, humble, faithful, true.

Love, Graduate. Love so your learning will have purpose.

Take, Graduate. Take these heroes, these friends, with you. ­—Mrs. Jennifer Blackstone, former humanities instructor G | 44

Greta Millett

Austin Community College 1. To Carol, I leave my love for sleeping and my permission to miss school for concerts.

2. To Skylar, I leave you the role of bringing people out on the dance floor at school dances.

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it well.”

(Psalm 139:14)

Mikaela Evans

Texas State University 1. I leave my mom to Julie…hug her daily… she needs it.

2. I leave Skylar Tippetts praise band.

“The best is yet to come.”

–Frank Sinatra

Josh Chandler

Baylor University 1. To Jeff, I leave Barfy the Gag Bag. May he forever bring you joy and relief.

2. To Killian, I leave all of my acting skills, along with the great Tie of the Heavenly Donkey. May it forever bring you good luck in your acting endeavors.

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“To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other and to feel.

This is the purpose of life.”

–Walter Mitty

Reynolds Walker

Baylor University 1. To Charlotte Walker, I leave my speed and Geneva, let her never get you down and always make her proud.

2. To Trip Smith, I leave my parking spot if he so chooses it.

3. To all of my dear up-and-coming seniors: I leave my much improved senior attendance record. You only have one more year, live it up and make it count.

“You can count them all on one of your hands, you’ve got a hundred buddies....a couple of d*** good friends.”

–Anonymous

Trevor Clifford

UTSA 1. I don’t have anything to leave, but if I did, Hogan Petrie could have it all. Well maybe the parking spot on the edge (it’s a brisk walk).

2. To Mr. Tye and Mr. Johnson, I leave my conditional love.

“There is nothing

Daniel Wacker

Colorado School of Mines 1. To Hogie Bear, I leave all the adventures.

2. To Harry, I leave...

“Take it easy.”

–The Eagles

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noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”

–Ernest Hemingway

Addie Lipe

Texas A&M University 1. To Olivia, I leave you my insert-able collar. Nobody will ever know you aren’t wearing a shirt.

2. To Skylar Tippetts, I leave my beautiful parking spot.

“I used to think you had to be special for God to use you, but now I know you simply need to say yes.”

–Bob Goff

Abbey Lipe

Trinity University 1. I leave the Lipe family legacy to Olivia.

“No life is a waste; the blue man said, ‘The only thing we waste is the time we spend thinking we’re alone.’”

–Mitch Albom, “Five People You Meet in Heaven”

Austin Lipe

Colorado School of Mines 1. To Marshall Shults, I leave Indian heritage (beware of the white man) 2. To Emme Owens, I leave Coach Inglish.

Take care of him for me.

“Find your beach.”

–Anonymous

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Mary Liz Winston

Baylor University 1. To Dyllon Gentry and Zach Arthur, I leave you the duty of getting donuts for some juniors.

2. To Brooke Leeder, I leave all my sass (you’re welcome, A-A-ron) and my parking spot.

3. To Mimi Stricker, I am always willing to help with school dances.

“Pack light. Love heavy.”

–Aaron Watson

Grant Gombert

Messiah College 1. To Carol Metzger and Ashton Rodgers, I bequeath one scoop of Carol’s favorite flavor of human ice cream and a steaming pot of tea (respectively).

2. To Coggin Galbreath and David Russell, I bequeath the entire popemobile collection at the National Museum of Funeral History and all of my possessions (respectively).

Kaylea Burt

The University of Dallas 1. To the cheer captains next year: happy babysitting 2. To the Smith family, the Hawkins family and Charlotte Walker, I leave KG and Austin.

Check on them every now and then.

“Never lose your sense of wonder.”

–Lee Ann Womack

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“In all such bewilderment, he is wise who resists this temptation of trivial triumph or surrender, and happy (in an echo of the Roman poet) who remembers the roots of things.”

–G.K. Chesterton

Bailey Flint

Baylor University 1. I leave “la rosa” to Skylar, Kaila and Karlie—run fast, don’t fall.

2. I leave my spikes to Skylar Tippetts “You can never be over-dressed or over-educated.”

–Kate Spade

Nick Seastrunk

The University of Dallas 1. To Hayes O’Quinn, I leave my spot on the basketball bench.

2. To Dyllon Gentry, I leave my #3 spot as the best NBA 2K player.

“The only time I set the bar low is for limbo” –Michael Scott

Heather Jonas

G | 49

Austin Community College 1. To the future cheer captains: I leave the patience and tolerance it takes to deal with all the “sass.” You’re gonna need it.

2. To Emmalee and Corvin: I leave the ability to act like all those jokes you’re gonna hear about “living way out here in Kendalia,” don’t get old.

“If you win, you a baller.”

–Anonymous

Savannah Cone

Baylor University “I want fabulous. That 1. To William Cone, I is my simple request.” leave our parents and –Sharpay Evans Walker. Best of luck, bro!

2. To theater, I leave the MPB floor. Have fun sitting there during countless hours of rehearsals.

David Crossland

Corban University 1. To Victoria, I leave my parking spot for $5.00.

2. To Dyllon Gentry, I leave my lucky machete.

“I’m not serious most of the time.”

–Tim Duncan

Miranda Ward

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Texas A&M University 1. To the house of Lewis, I leave our unmatched C. S. Lewis hype and long-standing field day legacy- go win another for us!

2. To the yearbook staff, I leave the responsibly of making

more beautiful books for years to come, and of course, many more years full of brownie bites and sugar cookies. Have fun without me!

“Write it. Shoot it.

Publish it. Crochet it. Saute it, whatever.

MAKE.” –Joss Whedon

Delaney Young

Wheaton College 1. To Nathan Young, I leave my smile.

2. To Mr. Tye, I leave four Mary’s tacos and all the bands that are too “mainstream” for you.

3. To Mr. Johnson, I leave all the potty jokes in the world.

“It’s a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.”

–Ferris Bueller

Campbell Petrie

University of Arkansas 1. To Corley, I leave you the responsibility of waking Hogan up in the morning 2. To Trip Smith and Jake Strange, I leave my tips for growing luscious hair.

Sydney Shults

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Ouachita Baptist University 1. To the GSB soccer team, I leave my jersey #11 to hang on the wall and my hate for Veritas.

2. To any girl who dates Marshall, I leave the right to give him all the love he deserves.

“I want it all and I want it now.” –Queen

3. To Hogan, I leave the responsibility of having car jams with Corley on the way to school.

“Let the good times roll.”

Carson Collingwood

Baylor University 1. To Julie Perez, I leave volleyball, the most undeserving gift God gave me.

2. To Tyler, I leave Julie. Take care of my best friend.

“If you are sad, add more lipstick and attack.”

–Coco Chanel

Teigen Ahrens Blinn College 1. To Devon, I leave nothing…

2. To Sutton, I leave my brunette hair (it’s time to make a change).

“Montana has the largest population of common loons in North America.”

–Wikipedia

Hayden Bomgaars

Texas State University 1. I leave my three putts to Trip Smith.

2. I leave every ounce of my love to Joshua Russell.

“Hotel California.”

–The Eagles

Mary Claire Brock

Baylor University 1. To my Quarterly staff, I leave you the ambition to never stop learning and creating and learning some more.

Soak it in because it is a privilege to experience and be a part of something this extraordinary. XO. I’ll miss all of you dearly.

2. To Mac. Well bud, you’re the last Brock.

Aim for excellence and never lose your contagious joy. Love you.

“The question is not if we will leave a legacy but rather what our legacy will be.”

-Christine Caine

Emma Ingram

Baylor University 1. To Gabi, I leave my ability to forget the scores and opposing team names of every basketball game you play.

2. To Mr. Southwick (A-a-ron), I leave my love of food. No matter how fat you get, remember that I would make fun of you at any size.

“People who love to eat are always the best people.”

–Julia Child

Mack Vaught

Baylor University 1. I give my super bad parking spot to Ian Comuzzie.

“You can catch flies with some honey, but you can catch a lot more honeys bein’ fly.”

–Anonymous

Katelyn Tisdale

Texas A&M Blinn TEAM 1. I leave the blue piece of gum stuck under the bleachers in the new gym to Sarah.

“I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.”

–Michael Scott

Caleb Hohne

Tarleton State University 1. To Joseph, I leave Mrs. Daniels.

“The road goes on forever and the party never ends.”

–Robert Earl Keen

Drei Richardson

Texas State University 1. To Killian Richardson, I leave my bench press, which he can now use, even though he perpetually refuses to spot me.

2. To Jake Schroder, I leave the ability to rock the buzz-cut hair “When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”

–Arnold Schwarzenegger

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Chloe De Vries

Texas Tech University 1.To Morgan Hagan, I leave my siblings…have fun, and feed them at least twice a week and you’ll be good.

2. To Brooke De Vries, I leave the De Vries spirit. Always be that spunky, care-free kid on the boardwalk.

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”

–Winnie the Pooh

Summer Stolle

Pace University 1. To Marvin, I give shwee shwee.

2. To Sara Beth, I give Heather and Scott.

“Wherever you are, be all there” –Jim Elliot

Colton Brehm

Blinn College 1.To John Michael, I leave my mini fridge in the locker room.

“I’ll turn it in tomorrow.”

–Colton Brehm

G | 55

Sarah Habeeb St. Edwards University 1. To Morgan, I leave talking in third person to yourself and awfully funny puns and sass.

“I have made a terrible mistake.”

Austin Owens

Baylor University 1. I leave my math skills in calculus to Ryne Hutton.

2. I leave Geneva baseball to Ryne Hutton.

“Life is not about the grades you make…it’s about the hands you shake.”

Jackson Ross

Calvin College 1.To Gabi, Kori, Kenzie, and all the other freshmen girls, I leave to you Ben. Enjoy!

2.To Ben, good luck with the ladies. Have fun driving the van.

“Life’s a beach… calculus is the sunburn.”

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Ashley Masso

Westmont College 1. To Katherine Anderson, I leave my habit of breaking the dress code.

2. To Mr. Tye and Mr. Johnson, I leave my love for pep rallies.

“I do not have time for a senior quote.”

David Runnels

Southern Adventist University 1. I leave to Ty Navarro my #22 Varsity basketball jersey.

2. To the basketball team, I leave the tasks of repeating as district champions and winning the state championship.

“Stressed Out” –twenty one pilots

Allie Martin

Gordon College 1. To Anna Riedlinger, I leave my sass and life crisis. Carry on my memory.

2. To the boardwalk trees, I leave my love.

Students, respect the trees.

“Don’t depend on these snotty- nosed boys for anything.”

–Nicki Minaj

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Hunter Hamon

Texas A&M Blinn TEAM 1. To Harrison, I leave my injuries.

2. To John Michael, Coach Rusty’s weight-room techniques.

“Though the course may change, rivers always reach the sea.”

–Led Zeppelin, “Ten Years Gone”

Erica Shelton

Calvin College 1. To Coggin, the only one left on campus who knows what the water inside hula-hoop tastes like. May you never have to build another quidditch goal.

2. To my Daddy, a giant store of hugs, kisses and back scratches. So I won’t worry about you next school year.

Emily Shelton

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“The world is indeed full of peril and in it there are many dark places. But there is still much that is fair. And though in all lands, love is now mingled with grief, it still grows, perhaps, the greater.”

–J.R.R. Tolkien

University of Texas, Austin 1. To Audrey and Eliot Ryden, I leave my best wishes for your future at Geneva School of Boerne.

2. To Morgan, Mariah and Claire, I leave the memory of me.

“May the road rise to meet you, may the wind be always at your back, may the sunshine warm upon your face, and the rains fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the hollow of His hand.”

–Irish Blessing

Out of the Box

INTRODUCING...

THE GUNDIES A unique look at the superlative qualities of some of our finest pg. 66

PHOTOGRAPHY BY ARIANNA FLORES

G | 60

GRAPHIC HEADER BY CARISSA GEORGELOS

GR

K,

To

or not to Greek

Twenty-three graduating seniors and Geneva alumni (2011) talk to Geneva Quarterly about the pros and cons of joining a sorority or fraternity, and whether or not they will partake in the Greek system.

Mary Claire Brock:

“very Yes. It’s a great way to get involved and meet people either similar or different than you.”

Savannah Cone:

“Yes, because my mom did and has always talked about all the fun memories.”

Carson Collingwood:

“Yes, my grandmother was a Chi-O and my mom

Austin Owens:

was a Zeta.”

“Yes, because it will help my grades.”

Mary Liz Winston:

Bailey Flint:

“Yes, for friends and cool shirts.”

Hayden Bomgaars:

Campbell Petrie: Addie Lipe: Sydney Shults:

“Yes, everyone at Baylor does.”

“Yes, for business connections.”

“Yes, because it’s going to be a great experience.”

“Most likely, just to have a solid group of friends.”

“Yes, because it is really just a way to be more social…and I will need that.”

“Probably;

Colton Brehm: I know Greek life is not the biggest thing at A&M but I think it definitely helps your social life in college and helps to keep you accountable for grades.”

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Madeleine Inglish

Maddie Inglish , a Geneva alumni (2014), sophomore at Texas A&M and a member of the Chi-Omega sorority, explains her positive view of the Greek system I rushed my sophomore year at Texas A&M. I didn’t do it my freshman year because I didn’t feel like I needed to. And I was right – you don’t need to rush.

There are plenty of other things to get involved in on campus and different ways to meet friends.

But, alas, I did rush. The reason I rushed my sophomore year is because I felt like I was missing out on a social aspect that college presented. I wanted to go to date parties and mixers and meet girls who were older than myself who I wouldn’t have ordinarily met.

However, I think my favorite part of being in a sorority is the chance to invest in so many girls. I have had the opportunity to go to lunch, coffee, breakfast, etc, with incredible girls who are passionate about such unique things.

These girls inspire me and enable me to continue pursuing my passions with confidence. It is through these moments that I am so thankful to be

surrounded by a group of girls who really long to see me grow and thrive in all aspects of my life.

When I went through rush, this is what I looked for out of a sorority: I wanted a place to find a community that I could always associate myself with. Additionally, sorority life presented all sorts of different opportunities. For example, you can participate in Songfest/Stompfest, which are major dance competitions on campus, you can tutor girls at a local school, you get the chance to live in the sorority house, you always have girls to go on vacations with and most importantly, you get a whole lot of T-shirts (everyone loves free t-shirts in college).

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To Greek,

Josh Chandler: Kaylea Burt:

OR NOT TO GREEK

“No, it is not something I am planning on doing, but that may change.”

“No, being surrounded by that many girls constantly sounds like hell.”

Chloe De Vries: Greta Millet:

“Not sure yet, I haven’t really thought about it.”

“No, I do not need to pay money to meet new people.”

Hunter Hamon:

“No, you would have to be an idiot to do that.”

Nick Seastrunk:

“No, because I don’t care to.”

Teigen Ahrens:

“No to frat guys.”

Trevor Clifford:

“No, frats are for meatheads.”

Delaney Young:

“No, I don’t need help making friends.”

Emily Shelton:

“No, I would like to focus on college academics.”

Erica Shelton:

“Nope, I like peace and quiet. Sororities are anti-that.”

Allie Martin:

“No way, I specifically picked a college that doesn’t have them.”

Drei Richardson: “I don’t know what this means, so with other people.”

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No, because I dislike getting involved

Mary Katherine McNabb Mary Katherine McNabb, a sophomore at Texas A&M, and a Geneva School of Boerne alumni, gave her opinion on why she chose not to join a sorority.

Greek life is a wonderful social and philanthropic outlet for college students.

I have a lot of friends that are in sororities and fraternities (including 3 of my 4 roommates), however, that is not the path that I chose in college.

Rushing was something that I considered, and I probably would have done as a freshman at almost any other school. So going into my freshman year, I decided to wait and see if that was what I wanted to do, knowing that I could easily rush as a sophomore.

I quickly learned that there are so many other ways to get involved and make friends. At a large university like A&M, the opportunities seem endless and almost overwhelming. I quickly found my home in student government. This type of involvement comes with professional development and the opportunity to build relationships with some extraordinarily high-caliber individuals. Interestingly, in my friend group, there is a large overlap of Young Life, Greek, and Student Government. Because of this, I have a lot of opportunities socially, and I am exposed a wide and diverse range of people.

There are various opportunities beyond just “on-campus� organizations.

Churches love college students and are always looking for volunteers.

Christian organizations provide an incredible community of like-minded individuals. And there are some ways in which Greek life can limit your ability to be involved in other areas.

Rushing or not rushing is about what you want to get out of your involvement in college. Choosing to not rush does not limit your opportunities as long as you work to get involved elsewhere. And similarly, being involved with Greek life doesn't mean that you can’t otherwise be involved.

Most importantly, your organizations (or letters) in college don't define you. Pursue your passions and stand firm in your faith.

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Gundie

D TH N A

E

GOES TO...

Hayden Bomgaars “Most Likely To Lose His Wallet, And Keys...And Sunglasses...And Watch...And Car...”

Kaylea Burt “Most Sarcastic”

Reynolds Walker “Smallest Ears” “Prettiest Smile” “Most Expensive UGGS” “Most Likely To Receive The Most Gundies”

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e

If you are a fan of “The Office” then you know the awkward awards Michael gives to his staff every year at Dunder Mifflin. The “Dundie Awards” mostly celebrate mediocrity. In an effort to create superlatives at a high school of less than 300 students, the Quarterly staff created the “Gundie Awards”. These awards were created by the seniors and voted on by the Rhetoric faculty. We present to you the first annual “Gundie Awards.”

Josh Chandler “Most Likely to dull his razor every morning”

Savannah Cone “Most Likely to kill you with kindness”

Austin Owens “Worst Driver Award”

G | 67

Chloe De Vries “Most likely to karate-kick you in the face”

Katelyn Tisdale “Most likely to show up to class with tacos in hand”

Caleb Hohne “Most likely to not bring anything to class”

Emily Shelton “Most likely to be put in the house of Gryffindor”

G | 68

ARTWORK BY NOAH BENSON

Erica Shelton “Most likely to secretly plot world dominance and then actually achieve it”

Allie Martin “Most likely to sass her way into a high paying job, then realize it’s not really what she wants from life”

Austin Lipe “Shortest shorts award”

G | 69

8

5. “Jason Bourne”

1. “X-Men:

Apocalypse”

(May 27th) The last two X-Men movies have transcended being just fun, clichéd superhero movies into actually being pretty great movies with complex, interesting themes, so I hope this will do the same!

Movies To Watch This Summer

Here are the eight movies I’m really looking forward to this Summer, in order of their release date.

BY KENNY KIDD

2. “Finding Dory”

(July 29th) The original Bourne trilogy are currently some of my favorite action movies of the last 15 years, and reuniting Matt Damon with the director of “Supremacy and Ultimatum” makes me really excited.

6. “Suicide Squad”

(August 5th) Although the DC Comics Movie Universe has gotten off to a really rocky start, this looks like their version of “Guardians of the Galaxy,” and like an unbelievable amount of fun.

7. “The Founder”

(June 17th) Finding Nemo might actually be my favorite Pixar movie, so I’m incredibly nervous for this because it really seems like an unnecessary sequel and the trailer wasn’t very good, but a man can hope.

(August 5th) All I know about this is that Michael Keaton is playing the founder of McDonald’s, and that the screenplay has been described as akin to “The Social Network” and “There Will Be Blood,” two of my favorite films. So that alone gets me really excited.

3. “The BFG”

(July 1st) It’s a family film, directed

by Steven Spielberg, about a Big Friendly Giant. And considering Spielberg’s past family films (“E.T.,” “Indiana Jones,” “Jurassic Park”), I’m definitely going to be watching this.

8. “Kubo and the Two Strings”

(August 19th) From the same animation studio that made “Coraline” and “ParaNorman” comes “Kubo and the Two Strings,” a stop-motion adventure that looks amazingly original and really, really awesome, with a crazy good voice cast.

4. “Star Trek Beyond” (July 22nd) It makes me nervous that J.J. Abrams isn’t directing this like the previous two, which were fantastic, but I still feel like its going to be hard to make this movie not be a really fun popcorn movie at the very least.

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5

Movies Not To Watch This Summer

1. “Me Before You”

(June 3rd) A movie about a beautiful woman falling in love with a beautiful man in a wheelchair that looks so horrendously schlocky and unrealistic that Nicholas Sparks would laugh.

By listing these movies, I’m not saying that I know for a fact that they will be bad movies. I’m just saying that from what I’ve seen of them so far I have very little hope for them being good movies, sadly.

2. “Warcraft”

(June 10th) There’s been a trend of movies based off of video games being really terrible, and unfortunately I feel like this is going to keep that trend going, despite director Duncan Jones (“Moon,” “Source Code”) being a very good director.

3. “Independence Day: Resurgence”

(June 24th) Probably the most unnecessary sequel of the year, with an absolutely terrible title and nothing in the trailer that looks intriguing at all.

4. “Ghostbusters”

(July 15th) I so badly want this to be good. The cast is hilarious, with Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Kate McKinnon, and Leslie Jones, but I did nothing but cringe during the entire trailer.

ARTWORK BY RUTH WACKER

G | 71

5. “The Legend of Tarzan”

(July 1st) A live-action, dark and gritty Tarzan movie where Tarzan fights a monkey in slow-mo is a hilariously bad idea.

NAME THAT CURB Test your knowledge and try to match each senior curb with its owner

Every year, seniors are given a blank parking space and asked to personalize it to their liking. Most design it with a pun or their name. Others went above and beyond and wrote in foreign languages, such as Tolkien’s Elvish.

A. B. C. D. E. F. G. H. I. BONUS ROUND: NAME THAT

SAVANNAH CONE BAILEY FLINT EMILY AND ERICA SHELTON HUNTER HAMON JACKSON ROSS GRETA MILLET DELANEY YOUNG JOSH CHANDLER

J.

WHERE HAVE ALL THE SENIORS GONE? Where have all the seniors gone?

School has not ended, yet the seniors are nowhere to be found. A couple lurk around the campus, but whereabouts of most remain a mystery until today. The GQ Staff has pulled together classified information to reveal to the public. This pie chart indicates where the seniors disappear to during off-periods.

The Evidence

SYDNEY SHULTS

ADDIE LIPE AUSTIN LIPE ABBEY LIPE

1

2 3

5

1- Sleeping at home 2- Eating at Mary’s Tacos 3- Chilling at the Wacker’s 4- Playing Fifa at the Stolle’s 5- Slacklining in the Geneva parking lot

4

WHO WORE IT BEST? CAP N’ GOWN

Senior Mary Claire Brock pulls off a sophisticated look while presenting her senior thesis. She sports a navy blazer and navy striped skirt. To add a pop of color, she is wearing an orange top tucked in to her skirt. And to complete the look, she struts in strappy black heels. This look showcases Brock’s style and smarts.

PHOTOGRAPH BY IAN COMUZZIE

pre dab SAY CHEESE Staffer Sara Beth Stolle used photoshop to create these toothless celebrities!

From top left to bottom right: Shaquill O’neal, Liam Hemsworth, Taylor Swift, Marie Avgeropoulos and Zac Efron.

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ALL GRAPHICS BY SARA BETH STOLLE

You’ve Been Roasted!

Using a George Foreman grill, seniors are roasted (but in a good way) by their adoring, loving faculty

Emma Ingram

By Mr. Sean Harrild

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I have some thoughts I would like to share about Emma Ingram…

Hey Emma, gravity called… it wants its joke back. Boom!

Roasted!

What do you get when a Geneva student fails, three times, at getting elected for house senate? Emma Ingram. Boom!

Roasted!

Sayers house did not hit its losing-streak until you became house captain. Boom! Roasted!

You cry more than Mrs. Metzger. Boom! Roasted! [not sure if I crossed a line here] All those baskets you have made will never fill the empty void of having no friends. Boom! Roasted!

You couldn’t even get a freshman to dance with you last year.

Boom! Roasted!

You know I kid. Students like you are the reason I became a teacher... So… goodnight, God bless—God bless America, and get home safe.

Boom!

Roasted!

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Daniel Wacker

By Dr. Rodney Lloyd

Daniel is not aware of his many talents and abilities. If he were, he would try harder to make good grades instead of being a drag on his family legacy. In fact, in most of his courses at Geneva he can barely maintain a 100 average.

Such a waste of talent.

What many do not know is that people in the hills of Kentucky think Daniel is related to them. On a recent trip to those hills, the locals, upon seeing his bare feet, thought they recognized him as a cousin. Despite his best efforts, Daniel was unsuccessful in trying to

convince them the foot patterns (i.e. lack of shoes) was insufficient evidence of their kinship.

The well-kept secret of his unique hairstyle has to do with an accident he had at age four.

Being naturally curious, he stuck two nails in an electric wall outlet. This was a shocking event in his life that left his hair somewhat – disarrayed.

That has become his “mane” identifier.

We wish Daniel all the best in his future.

As we all know (really) he will be a stunning success in his college experience and his mission in God’s wonderful world.

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Grant Gombert

By Mr. Dirk Russell

Will the real Grant Gombert please stand up? I intend once and for all to discover who or what Grant Gombert really is.

On the one hand: around campus he is infernally happy. Think about it, have you ever seen him unhappy or even slightly perturbed? Grant even comes out of Dr. Short’s classroom with a huge smile on his face. Seriously, who does that?

When was the last time he had a dress code violation? If you’re curious the answer is: never. I don’t think he has ever even worn a crazy pair of socks; even after they were allowed.

The only time he rebels is when he plays against the Empire with Mr. Tye and Mr. Harrild in that Star Wars game. What is my point? He seems perfect, too good to be true.

But on the other hand: every time he is given the opportunity to speak in public he is either the devil or a murderer who kills his neighbor while he sleeps and hides the body under the floorboards.

He has a seriously unhealthy obsession with North Korea. I have a sneaking suspicion that he has modeled his hair style after Kim Jong-Un. He is one of only two people in Geneva history (his acting partner, whose name rhymes with Coggin Galbreath, is the other) to be disqualified from a TAPPS competition for presenting inappropriate material.

Delaney Young

By Mr. Paul Johnson

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Finally, he only misses school for debate tournaments and lamb shows. We don’t live in Walnut Grove; do they even have lamb shows anymore? What I want to know is what “lamb show” is a euphemism for. I think if I break that code the truth will become clear.

I am left with only two options. He is either an alien who was sent to investigate our planet; only time will tell if his intentions are good or evil. Or he is an evil robot, created by none other than Mrs. Jessica Gombert, to take over the world.

God help us all!

You would think, as an English teacher, that I would be used to reading some pretty bad writing, but I almost can’t express my awe at Delaney Young’s astounding inability to produce any kind of cogent or even legible written work. To put it succinctly, she is a bad writer.

Her lack of rhetorical prowess is surprising because she seems like a good student who pays attention in class and practices what she learns, but this is just a misinterpretation of her blank stares. Delaney’s inability to write well is only matched by her lack of musical skill and taste. This is probably more unfortunate since she teaches lessons that render her students completely inept at playing the piano. So she’s not only a miserable pianist but also spreads her ineptitude, infecting the minds of young musicians. People even pay her to damage their children’s musical ability which is really the only reason she teaches. This all leads to another of her worst attributes: her poor taste in music. She tends to like over produced, top-40, bourgeoisie garbage. If all of this wasn’t bad enough, she is one of the most depressing people to be around. But hopefully as her English teacher I taught her the meaning of irony. Best wishes.

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ARTWORK BY RUTH WACKER

Greta Millet

By Mr. Louis Arizpe

x

.. . . e h c i l C

My sweet, Greta … my sweet child o’ mine, girl, as you go fight them off, a seven nation army couldn’t hold you back. If you were to leave here tomorrow, we’d all remember you. No matter where you go, how far you travel, those big wheels will keep on turning, carrying you home to see your kin.

Never trust smoke on the water, or fire in the sky. Trust me on that. Sometimes you’ll sleep, sometimes not for days. But when you do, sleep with one eye open, gripping your pillow tight.

You’re as free as a bird now, and this bird you’ll never change. Since you skipped most of your last year, you’re worst at what you do best, and for this gift, you should feel blessed. Remember, our little group has always been, and always will until the end. Don’t get me wrong; you’re an Ode To Joy. Go. Find your future. But watch out for the lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold … and Black Betty. Well, the jury’s still out on Black Betty.

You’re the only person I’ve ever known to have “senioritis” since the 7th grade. Now here you are, at last. Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees, time can break your heart, have you begging please. When you come back, come back in black and always, always, play Fleetwood Mac.

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Drei Richardson

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SA

TWEET TO MY SEPTEMBER SELF – Dr. Short gives advice to his past self regarding senior Drei Richardson. Don’t let Drei take Calculus. Don’t let Drei take Statistics. Don’t let Drei near your two-year-old son.

Don’t let Drei near your five-year-old cat. Don’t believe Drei when he says he has the power of invisibility, but only when no one is looking. Don’t believe Drei when he says he has the power of honesty, but only when not telling lies.

Don’t let Drei pray before class (it will be imprecatory).

Don’t let Drei speak Latin (he knows bad words). Don’t let Drei speak English (he knows even worse words). If you see Drei on-campus, call the police. If you see Drei off-campus, call more police. If you encounter Drei on fire, post-notifying said authorities, put the fire out (it might hurt someone else). If Drei asks for a loaf of bread, give him a stone. If Drei doesn’t ask for a loaf of bread, give him a stone. When (not if) Drei appears on America’s Most Wanted, recognize the irony (somebody wants Drei). If Drei is turned into a snail after losing a bet with a wizard, find some salt. If Drei ever asks you to be the Best Man at his wedding, lose the ring. If Drei asks you to be the Godfather of his child, you know his wife is Rosemary. If you ever become a brain-eating zombie, no need to go after Drei. If you are still at Geneva and Drei’s kids are also at Geneva, Purgatory is real.

LT

By Dr. Howard Short

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Unknown to most people is the fact that Hunter Hamon’s real name is “Hunter-Gatherer” Hamon because of his parents’ one-time fascination with hominid anthropology… and also because, as a toddler, Hunter would stalk and kill small animals and gather them in collections in his playpen. After seeking professional help for their son for this “special” behavior, it was suggested they simply call him “Hunter” in hopes that the smelly “gathering” would cease. It seems to have worked, though smells from his locker and his trunk are currently casting suspicions that his old habits have returned.

Of course, we all know Hunter today for his physically graceful, almost feminine, demeanor and presence. In fact, many have “experienced” his physical grace on the playing field in the form of bruises and concussions. He is particularly noted for his elegant, non-combative ways on the Quidditch field (despite the fact that many opposing players are now in counseling, complaining of nightmares in which they are being chased by a freight train on a broom). We will miss Hunter, not only for these reasons, but particularly for the aid he provided in the science department for studying Neanderthals (Mrs. Daniels is already bugging me about securing a new specimen…). Finally, we will miss his leadership in the S.K.R.U.B. Club (Society for Knee Rehabilitation and Unprovoked Belligerence).

Erica

Hunter Hamon

By Mr. Rob Shelton

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Jackson Ross

By Mr. Steven Tye

I want to say that Jackson Ross is an excellent student, but honestly I can’t. His handwriting is so illegible I haven’t been able to read any of his work in the years I have taught him.

Though I suppose he is quick on his feet. I’ve seen him exercise his logical prowess in many debate rounds. He is famous for concluding a debate round by saying, “Therefore, judge, if you vote pro, we win.” Who can refute so logical a statement? I think his subtlety is completely underused. Alas, that doesn’t really prove him as an excellent student either. While I have taught Jackson for years, and spent many hours with him on debate trips, I can honestly

say, I barely remember him. I am sure he has a personality somewhere, but it rarely rears its slicked-back head. It is my hope that as he ventures to college he’ll learn something from his girlfriend, Erica Shelton. We are so glad she was able to pull some strings to get him into Calvin College with her. Offering them as a package deal was a stroke of genius on her part to make sure this boy toy has an education.

We all know where the brains are in that relationship. I’m sure Jackson will do alright in life. At the very least, Mr. Shelton could always hire him at Geneva…if only he could teach something.

Geneva’s Teacher Kids:

Senior Style

Teachers whose kids are seniors can end up with twice the emotional baggage; they not only part with their child, but also their favorite student at the end of the school year.

BY KATELYN DAVIS

“I’m hungry.”

-Hayden Bomgaars, with his mom Mrs. Terri Bomgaars, Logic and Rhetoric Drama Tech Instructor

“Do we look fabulous?”

-Mrs. Mary Clifford, Logic School Dialectic Instructor with her son, Trevor Clifford

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“I wish I was sleeping.”

-Mikaela Evans with her mom, Director of Fine Arts, Mrs. Gradi Evans

“Mom, don’t be so vain. This picture isn’t going in a fashion magazine.”

-Grant Gombert with his mom Mrs. Jessica Gombert, Grammar School Headmaster

“He’s never let me drive the gator.”

-Summer Stolle with her dad, Athletic Director Mr. Scott Stolle

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“It’s great to be in a picture with the one I love. And my daughters too.”

-Mr. Rob Shelton, Rhetoric School Headmaster with his two daughters, Emily and Erica, and his C.S. Lewis painting

“When I was in Grammar School, I always thought I should receive some sort of award for how much extra time I devoted to the school while my mom worked.”

-Miranda Ward with Latin Instructor Mrs. Shelly Ward, her mom

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MOVIE

P O S T E R S

The Talon A publication of the School of Rhetoric The Geneva School of Boerne

Geneva Quarterly Edition

The Class of 2016 Alphabetic Senior Thesis Chronicle

Where Mr. Shelton attains the impossible: putting every senior thesis title into a ficional future story of the graduates...in alphabetical order..

Because of the success of Teigen Ahrens’ thesis, there are no longer any professional lobbyists in Congress. Unfortunately, this also means that there is no one to lobby for affirmative action reform, which leaves Hayden Bomgaars on the outsidelooking-in for college. This causes him to spend all of his time on the internet trying to educate himself, but because Colton Brehm’s argument against internet censorship is unsuccessful, all of the sites Hayden needs are blocked. When she hears of this, Mary Claire Brock becomes livid at such a policy, because it reminds her of helicopter parenting tactics, with the government as the overbearing parent. In her despair, she turns to drugs and becomes addicted to cough drops. Kaylea Burt, however, assures her that

she is not to blame due to a genetic predisposition to cherry-flavored medicine. Hearing that the best cough drops are in Israel, Mary Claire arrives only to find Josh Chandler singlehandedly defending Jerusalem in an effort to speed up (or slow down) biblical prophecy and coming Armageddon. With Josh is Trevor Clifford who is ranting about how political advertising is the Mark of the Beast. Frustrated (and stocked up on Luden’s Wild Cherry), Mary Claire returns to America to start her own parenting fashion line, when Carson Collingwood warns her of the dangers of federal regulation. Savannah Cone gets wind of this and seeks Carson’s opinion on whether or not the government should be involved in regulating the trafficking of coal miners. In an attempt to diffuse

Teigen Ahrens: Retiring the Lobbyist: The Elimination of a Corrupt Position Hayden Bomgaars: Affirmative Action: A Negative Reaction Colton Brehm: Internet Censorship: The Suppression of Expression Mary Claire Brock: Helicopters and Parachutes in the War of Raising Kids: Parenting To Perform Kalea Burt: Are Your Genes Calling the Shots? The Disease of Addiction Josh Chandler: The Age Old Conflict: A Plan for Justice in the Middle East Trevor Clifford: Only A Pawn In Their Game: The Problem Of Political Advertising In America Carson Collingwood: What’s the Skinny on Fashion? Why Government Measurements Should Stay Away Savannah Cone: Slavery in the Land of the Free: Sex Trafficking of Minors in America

a potentially tasteless part of this story concerning the sex trafficking of minors, David Crossland quickly suggests that perhaps miners should stop forcing their own minors to specialize in one sport. Chloe De Vries agrees and brings up studies that show that such young athletes usually become welfare recipients, to which Mikaela Evans adds, “And most have permanent brain damage from concussions, too.”

Bailey Flint knowingly tells everyone involved that there may not be so many brain damaged onesport welfare recipients if they had been properly genetically screened in advance. As proof, she points to Grant Gombert who is standing on a street corner advocating for a tax policy by some guy named Henry George. This, however, proves to be a bad

example because her argument depends on sports and Grant being thought of together. Sarah Habeeb interjects, saying, “I could have told Bailey it was a bad example, but no. Nobody listens to me, not even when I am talking about quorum sensing replacing vaccines.”

Because nobody is listening, Hunter Hamon yawns and lights up. He is now a chain smoker because of his previous addiction to e-cigs which he never got over despite unknown reassurance from Kaylea that it wasn’t his fault. Sadly, this reassurance was in the form of a letter that was mailed using the US Postal Service, so it never arrived. Caleb Hohne, in mocking derision of both Hunter and Kaylea, is heard to say, “See, I told you so.” Meanwhile, Emma Ingram doesn’t care about any of this because she is

David Crossland: There’s Nothing Special About Specializing: The Dangers Facing Youth In Sports Today Chloe De Vries: Welfare Ain’t Fair: A Case for Family Stability Mikaela Evans: Friday Night Frights: The Necessity to Report All Head Injuries Bailey Flint: Genetic Testing: The Line Between Understanding Creation and Playing Creator Grant Gombert: “Huge Tracts of Land”: Why We Need Henry George’s Single Tax Sarah Habeeb: Talking To Bacteria: Why the Inhibition of Quorum Sensing Can Replace Vaccines Hunter Hamon: Smoke And Mirrors: The Deception Of The Electronic Cigarette Caleb Hohne: You’ve Got Fail: Privatizing the United States Postal Service

MAKING THE GRADE

Geneva’s largest graduating class preparing to spread their wings. ( front row, l-r) Mikaela Evans, Addie Lipe, Heather Jonas, Greta Millet, Colton Brehm, Carson Collingwood, Campbell Petrie, Drei Richardson, Allie Martin, Emma Ingram, Savannah Cone, Josh Chandler (middle, l-r) Erica Shelton (standing) Miranda Ward, Abbey Lipe, Delaney Young, Summer Stolle, Katelyn Tisdale, Sarah Habeeb, Chloe De Vries, Ashley Masso, Austin Lipe, Kaylea Burt, Emily Shelton, Sydney Shults, Mary Claire Brock, Bailey Flint (standing) (back row, l-r) Mary Liz Winston, Mack Vaught, Trevor Clifford, Grant Gombert, Jackson Ross, Caleb Hohne, David Crossland, Nick Seastrunk, David Runnels, Austin Owens, Daniel Wacker, Teigen Ahrens, Hunter Hamon, Reynolds Walker, Hayden Bomgaars.

drafted by the NBA right out of high school and she is busy counting her money and tattoos (procured to lend an air of authenticity). She has the time to count because, despite the big contract, and upon Heather Jonas’ advice, she is taking a gap year from actually playing. During her gap year, Emma receives a letter (efficiently delivered by Caleb’s new privatized postal service) from Abbey Lipe who is in Israel with Josh and Trevor. She asks Emma to fund her new anti-Islam campaign, which is suffering for lack of funds because Trevor won’t let her advertize. Confusing Abbey for Addie Lipe, Emma is left to wonder how Addie’s advocacy of relying on less medicine will confound the spread of Islam. Emma seeks clarification from Austin Lipe, but that’s just one too many Lipes for one story, no matter how old the earth is. Besides,

he wouldn’t be any help because he is in a back alley clandestinely reading Huckleberry Finn with Allie Martin, who is also trying to make a living selling her “Tough Luck Huck” t-shirts. Since these don’t sell, they are given to charity and taken by short-term missionaries to people in third world countries. In her attempt to end such short-term missions, Ashley Masso visits one of these countries and preaches against how such missions unintentionally teach Western ideas of greed and capitalism, and meanwhile she is sold a “Tough Luck Huck” shirt for $50 American. While there, Ashley comes upon Greta Millett who is living in said country because it is one of the few that doesn’t have homework. What she did not know, however, is that it is because it does not have schools either. Therefore, she is forced to live using

Emma Ingram: Straight Outta High School: Why They’re Not Too Little for the League Heather Jonas: Bridging the Gap: The Case for Taking a Gap Year Abbey Lipe: Mohammed’s Great Deception: Why Islam is Not a Religion of Peace Addie Lipe: Today’s Advanced Medicine: More Is Not Always Better Austin Lipe: How Old Are We? Merging the Creation Account and Science Allie Martin: Tough Luck Huck: Should Schools Ban Books Deemed Racist?

Ashley Masso: The Great Commission or the Great Commotion: A Case to Reform Short-Term Missions Greta Millet: Everything Has A Place: The Case for Abolishing Homework

high interest credit cards offered by predatory lenders.

Suddenly, riding his white steed (paid for in cash and only after he could afford it), Austin Owens whisks Greta away from her predatory homeworkless squalor to his third world sweat shop, co-owned with Campbell Petrie. This sweat shop (um… business) is dedicated to producing knock-off SAT exams that return perfect scores no matter what answer you bubble in. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, even when produced by workers in “Tough Luck Huck” t-shirts. Thus, over Drei Richardson’s vehement protests (even using his most intimidated Arnold Schwarzenegger voice), the U.S. President issues an executive order for an autonomous weapons strike on Austin and Campbell’s business. Seeing the danger and having predicted it, Jackson Ross heads for the White House to counter the order. Upon arriving, however, he discovers he is not needed because the White House is under siege from a group of non-violent criminals who have been released from jail. David Runnels joins Jackson and addresses the non-ruffians, saying, “You’re making my thesis claim a shambles!” While this is going on, Nick Seastrunk is down the road at the National Cathedral claiming it for St. Paul and Roman Catholicism (but not necessarily in that order). As he is planting his pontifical flag, he notices Emily Shelton in a side chapel forcing a group of tourists to read The Magician’s Nephew. Actually, it may not be that book, but it is certainly one with lots of potentially Christian-offending magic in it.

It doesn’t matter, however, because these tourists don’t understand English and aren’t even Christians because all of the short-term missionaries to their country were forced to depart, leaving only a bunch of t-shirts behind. In a bit of sibling rivalry, the tour guide, Erica Shelton, rescues the foreign tourists and begins droning on about the “transcendent architecture” of the cathedral. However, because they don’t understand English they think Erica is singing some sort of Gregorian chant and they try to join in.

Because this ends up sounding like a Native American

war dance, this causes Nick to think about Sydney Shults who is out west trying to convince a group of Indians to leave their reservation. The Indians, meanwhile, refuse to leave because they have just heard of the “Summer Stolle Genetic Modification Program” that promises to turn all customers into accomplished dancers. Sensing a windfall from expertly executed rain dances, they kick Sydney off of the reservation and, in the fits of a sugar high, add, “And take Katelyn Tisdale with you!” Sensing a lucrative opening, Mack Vaught rushes into the void, offering the miracle of microfinance to support the renaissance of the rain dancing business. Mack, naturally, is tentative about this deal because of the failed partnership with Daniel Wacker of the start-up company “Dumb Robots for Everybody.”

Scientists are still investigating the circumstances, but apparently, Daniel declared that thinking machines don’t exist…and he disappeared. Several men in the company witnessed the vanishing and started crying like little girls, which, as Reynolds Walker warned, they nearly are little girls because of the feminizing educational system. Reynolds has since amended his thesis to include the possibility that much of this feminization is the result of all of the hormones in our food, which wouldn’t be there if Miranda Ward hadn’t been so convincing about the overhyping of eating organic chicken. But who needs masculine men anymore? Especially since Mary Liz Winston now has every female teacher in the nation packing heat. On an interesting side note, discipline problems in the classroom have reduced significantly, except in music classes, which still suffer from second-class stigma and low self esteem (and subsequent discipline problems) because Delaney Young failed to implement her “ Music for All” program. This is probably due to the fact that, thanks to Teigen, there are no lobbyists to take up the banner and advocate for the program. Teigen, incidentally, was last seen wearing a “Tough Luck Huck” t-shirt and surfing the heavily-censored internet with Hayden.

Austin Owens: Death by Debt: Predatory Lenders and the Middle Class Campbell Petrie: Bubbling Outside the Lines: The Abolishment of the SAT Drei Richardson: By Order of the President: The Clear and Present Danger of Executive Orders Jackson Ross: Hasta la Vista, Baby. Autonomous Weapons Systems: The Terminator? Or the Future?

David Runnels: One Size Does Not Fit All: The Argument Against Mandatory Minimum Sentences for Non-violent Offenders Nick Seastrunk: Does Saint Paul Have A Home Church? A Catholic Perspective On Paul Emily Shelton: To Read Or Not To Read: Why Christians Should Not Be Affronted By Books That Contain Magic Erica Shelton: Rebuilding Transcendence: Why Architecture Should be a Priority for the Church Sydney Shults: Set My People Free: Why Native American Tribal Recognition Should Be Abolished Summer Stolle: Throwing the Baby Out With the Bath Water: Why Not All Genetic Modification is Unethical Katelyn Tisdale: The Bittersweet Truth: Cutting Out Refined Sugar From Today’s Diet Mack Vaught: Providing a Hand Up Rather Than a Handout: Why Microfinance is the Best Approach to Reducing Poverty in the United States Daniel Wacker: C3PNO: The Impossibility of a Thinking Machine Reynolds Walker: Boys will be Girls: How American Education Fails to Foster Masculinity Miranda Ward: Don’t Buy the Hype: Reasons to Chicken Out Over Organics Mary Liz Winston: Prepared for Class: The Case for Arming America’s Educators Delaney Young: Do, Re, Mi, Fa, So What? The Case for Reintegrating Music Into the American Public School Curriculum

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