6 minute read
Killing Cable
Killing Cable Words | Abby Bower THE AGE OF INTERNET STREAMING IS TAKING OVER TELEVISION.
Cable is growing irrelevant. No longer do families gather around the television to watch the anticipated new episode of whatever show they are infatuated with. After all, wouldn’t it be much more practical to binge shows on your phone rather than wait weeks for one episode? With all the advantages that come with streaming, regular cable seems ancient and undesirable.
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There are at least ten different streaming services that can be downloaded onto your smart phone with just the press of a button, while with cable you wait hours for your show to come on. With streaming, an entire television show can be completed in one weekend, no wait. After all, you can’t take your cable TV on a roadtrip or watch episode after episode into the deep hours of the night.
Some may refute the streaming obsession by mentioning the absence of the daily news, Sunday Night Football, or any other basic channel. Well, some of these new apps allow you to tune into these channels and watch live TV, so you won’t miss the big game or the latest news.
Although there is something special about watching live TV that you just can’t get with streaming services, sometimes the pros outweigh the cons. As a result, most people have sacrificed some excitement for practicality and found a new comfort in Saturday night Netfiix binges.
With all the attention being stolen by streaming, cable seems to have gone a bit rogue. Flipping channels is no longer family friendly now that the majority of shows on cable are ridden with inappropriate innuendos and foul language. The content of these channels suggest they are uncensored, which only demonstrates their desperation for viewers.
Somehow, even with all of these imperfections, cable has managed to become even more costly. Regular cable ranges anywhere from 85 to 100 dollars per month, while most streaming apps can be as inexpensive as seven dollars
a month. Obviously, some specific plans can be a little more pricey, but even then, the most expensive plan for the most popular streaming service is still cheaper than most cable services.
The more you think about it, the more benefits streaming appears to have. Immediate accessibility, lower prices and a wide variety of shows, movies and channels are just a few of its perks. At this point, cable does not seem to have any superiority. Could this be the end of cable TV as we know it?
Cable TV is an example of the patience people had when they first experienced the innovative creation. Today, our culture emphasizes urgency and an undeserved entitlement to immediacy, and streaming has become the alternative that offers this.
If you decide for yourself that you prefer streaming, you might ask, “Which service or app should I use?” Well, mostly it is just a personal preference, but there are some general features which give certain services an edge (like price and variety). Apart from these, a decision should probably be based on what type of shows you prefer or how much variety you want. The decision is yours. Which service do you want? Do you want to switch to just streaming or utilize both? I leave the choice to you, but beware, the extinction of cable may be coming.
LOGO PRICE/MONTH DETAILS SHOWS
$7
Only Disney, Pixar, and National Geographic Plan includes: four screens
“High School Musical” “Phineas and Ferb” “Star Wars” “Jessie” all Disney movies
$6.00 with ads, $12.00 with no ads $54.99 Ondemand with live TV channels, includes 60+ channels
Basic: $8.99 Standard: $12.99 Premium: $15.99
Plan includes: two screens
unlimited screens for an extra $9.99/ month
Plan includes: two to four screens
no commercials “The Good Place” “The Bachelor” “American Horror Story” “Law and Order”
Video membership- $8.99 Prime membership- $10.99/month
Plan includes: two screens
Downside: some shows and movies still have to be purchased “House” “Psych” “ Parks and Recreation” “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”
Orange- $25.00 AMC, CNN, ESPN, Food Network & more Blue- $25.00 USA,FX,Viceland, & more Blue+orange- $40.00
Plan includes: three screens
$10 off your first month
$50
(70+channels and regular YouTube)
Plan includes: three screens
Downside: when traveling, certain channels become unavailable “Arrow” “Flash” “The Good Doctor” “ Family Guy”
SINCE 2007 BY MR. ROB SHELTON
Rules Suggestions to Spice Up Team Sports*
Volleyball: Instead of a stationary net, we think the net should unpredictably go up and down to various heights continuously throughout the game. And the net should be electrified so that those chance encounters with the net are exciting for the fans and we know that it has happened.
Football: We think the field should have imbedded mine fields. Not with real land mines, but with solid barrier walls that pop up at random or ditches that open up (live gators at the bottom, optional). Either that, or fan interaction with water balloons launchers mounted in the stands.
Basketball: Make the entire court inside the three-point line a trampoline…mad hops and crazy dunks for everyone! And probably some spectacular injuries!
Baseball and Softball: Instead of a pitcher’s mound or circle, there should be a pitcher’s well or hole with a trampoline at the bottom. That way, the pitcher can bound up at any time and throw the pitch. And there should be runs scored for hitting the batter. New Rhetoric School Positions Open Next Year
Student Body Lawyer: This individual will represent all of the students in their lawsuits filed for injuries sustained while participating in team sports under the revamped rules.
Dean of Stupid: The professional who fills this position will monitor, record, and analyze all trends of stupid on campus and hand out occasional t-shirts in recognition of monumental stupidity. [Much time is spent with freshmen at the beginning of the year, and with seniors near the end of the year.]
Big Brother: This staff person will install, monitor, and service all surveillance cameras and hidden microphones on the rhetoric school campus. The goal of this position is to satisfy all legalists on campus and to make students wish for the days of the Honor Code.
Assistant to the College Counselor: This educational professional will procure and dispense all tissues to students who will cry over how their futures are ruined forever because they fail to get into the dream college of their choice. [This person will also dispense tissues to parents of students who do get into the dream college of their choice.]
Faculty Massage Therapist: This new position is anticipated to be the most important job on campus. Each rhetoric school faculty member will be the recipient of one professional massage per week. Additional massages may be warranted depending on parent interaction that week.
DR. ROSHEGER’S OBSCURE LATIN PHRASE OF THE QUARTER:
Soccer: Just get rid of the off-sides rule…or let the players carry the ball and tackle each other to the ground…wait, we already have that game. Golf: Let the other golfers hit each other. On second thought, golf is not a team sport, and besides, what we suggest already exits and is called hockey.
