Earth Is Huge And We Are All On It Issue 4: Keep Moving by Earth Is Huge And We Are All On It

KeMoveping

Introduction A ugust's creative prompt was Keep Moving... an apt directive if ever there was one. As the month wore on

and there seemed to be no shortage of hardships in the world, it struck me that Keep Moving is a topic that merits permanent status as a creative prompt. Should you have a story to tell - in whatever way you tell stories best - about how you keep moving in the face of hardship, of tragedy, of confusion, of ennui, there is a place for it here. That said, we didn't receive much inspired by the prompt. We actually struggled for submissions more than any issue to date. But we also got submissions from some stalwart friends of the project, as well as a few brand new faces. I'm immensely grateful for them all. It's a joy to share these works. And I hope you, dear readers, enjoy experiencing them as well. We will keep doing this for as long as you out there keep sending things in. This is how this project will keep moving and to a lesser extent it is how I will keep moving as well. Your enthusiasm, your work, your readership all buoy me and keep me motivated to reach out and do more. It's an honor to be so lifted & I want to continue to return the favor by helping elevate your work & talents into the view of a (hopefully) growing audience. Be sure to visit the blog, for this issue also comes with a video reading by the author of In Paris, a poem submitted by Charles Bane, Jr., who is a current nominee as Poet Laureate of Florida. It's quite lovely and it marks another pair of firsts: the first time we've had a Poet Laureate nominee, and our first audio/video companion to the zine. Yr Humble Editor, GHN 08/30/14

Contents Poetry In Paris 1 Charles Bane M & M 2 Patricia P.

Last night I had a dream that I was on the price is right

3 Shawn Words

Jr.

Berman

I have long hair and make babies laugh Dear Editor

5 Amy KS 1 3 Paul & Dan Visual Art Relativistic Hog 1 6 Zachariah Brown Palace of Bones 1 7 Chris Baird Glory 23 Ryan P. Contributors 25 Afterword 26

Editor Georgene Nunn

Designer marlin

Cover by Zachariah Brown

In Paris

by Charles Bane Jr.

In Paris, all the streets were rained and magpies in the shadows of Notre Dame poured tunes. The cafes dripped and all the city was wet that afternoon; you said, look at the long haired Seine; do you want to walk in the Jardins des Plantes ? No, I said, let's hold Mass in your room. You lay and I heard bells at the lifting of the moon. A thousand souls somewhere in the dark of France flew.

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M &M

by Patricia P. [Previously published.] i searched for pleasure and stumbled on treasure that surpassed any and all measure have you taken a guess? it's petite and wild and wears a dress although i'll never confess (not even on the final test) that i loved you more than the rest yes, i loved you best

Last night I had a dream that I was on the price is right by Shawn Berman Last night I had a dream that I was on the price is right And Drew Carrey was hosting. Wait, no. Drew Carrey wasn’t hosting because he slipped on a banana peel backstage so the producers called up Bob Barker’s estate and they wheeled in his frozen head that was protected in a tank to hostAnyway, I made it to the showcase showdown and the guy I was competing against passed on a trip to Sierra Leone. Naturally, I called him a motherfucker because I didn’t want to go to Africa. I’ve seen Blood Diamond. I’ve watched the news. I ain’t getting Ebola. Everyone knows that the only way to treat Ebola is by not going to Africa. So, I told Bob Barker’s frozen head that I refused to bid. He told me that I had to because it’s the rules. I proceeded to tell him no in a very whiny voice, Pushed his tank over, Then woke up.

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It’s not that I’m afraid of Ebola or Africa Because I’m not. Have plenty of more things to be a-scared aboutFor instance: People ask me what I want to be when I grow up And I don’t know. But I do know that I don’t want to be a father Because fathers make various father noises that they don’t realize they are making. Seems like there’s no cure for unexplainable father noises. Seems like father noises are subconscious actions. If hell is a real place, Then I’m quite sure that it’s made up of fathers, making nothing but father noises all day long and there’s no place to hide. One thing is certain: The only way to combat father noises Is to start a forest fire, Because those things are unpreventable.

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Dear Editor by Paul and Dan

I was once again distressed to see that my

submission for the March edition of this periodical was, rather rudely I might add, rejected. I would like to know why Mr Jackson's photographs of cute dogs being adorable are considered fit for publication and my 50,000 word journal detailing the eating/vomiting habits of my eldery cat is not. Your article about how over a third of baby seals are hunted down and killed was a travesty, and the picture of the man about to club the seal brought a tear to my eye. Seals are the vermin of the sea, and any attempt to minimize their numbers should be applauded. I am proud to say that, given half a chance, I would club every single seal myself

Regarding your top 1 0 list of sexiest Presidents, I resent the implication that Bill Clinton deserves a spot in the top 5 . I understand charisma had some influence over him, but that still doesn' t explain how a doughy saxophone player manages to finish higher than a more traditionally handsome president like Eisenhower. I have no complaints about Nixon being number one though If the old adage about children being the future is true, am I the only one who thinks this is great? If my future involves having no

responsibilities as well as someone around to provide for my every need then I can forgive scientists for not giving us flying cars yet, which is also kind of bullshit but not the point I am trying to make here

About your expose on the youtube phenomenon "Frog that says weed poop" I have to say after extensive research on the matter that not only does the frog not say "weed poop" but also frogs cannot say any kind of human language. If this is the level of journalism you wish to reach then I will be incredibly disappointed I feel that although you have a wide variety of articles that will interest people of all kinds of status and backgrounds, I can't help but feel like you are ignoring the straight white male. If I ask why there is no White History Month, I feel like my views are not being respected. If I, who is part of the most powerful and plentiful kind of people in the world, am not being respected, what chance do, say, black people or women have? I can't help but feel that Carly Rae Jepson needs a bit more confidence. I understand that her making the first move on a man is a huge step forward for women everywhere, empowering them and showing they can get what they want if they just reach for it, but by subduing her message by saying "maybe" at the end is taking away some of that power. May I suggest she changes the "maybe" to "tomorrow after 6 since I finish work then" or possibly even "dipshit"

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Just a quick correction to your recent review ofthe London Symphony Orchestras tribute to the compositions of Fredick Durst. I was there on the same night as your esteemed reviewer and seem to recall the orchestra closed a fantastic evening with 1999's 'Nookie' and not his earlier composition 'N2 Gether Now'. It is difficult to respect the opinions ofyour reviewers when they are unfamiliar with the oeuvre ofthe artist they are reviewing. Yours, Wesminister Borland. Regarding your article on the eternal Scottish virgins The Proclaimers, you mention that in the song they walked 1000 miles to get right at my door. Well first up, they live in Scotland, and to walk to the bottom of England would only take 500 or so of those miles. Where exactly does this person they are singing about live? With the other 500 miles they would be in mainland Europe or the ocean, with their thick Scottish accents making speaking the language extremely difficult if it was the former and if they are courting mermaids they would probably drown in the latter. Why would they even walk that far when train and air travel is cheaper than it has ever been? The two of them are clearly idiots and anything they say should be disregarded as nonsense

I j ust want to comment on your top 1 0 list of sexiest types of undead. I understand that sexy vampires are all the rage nowadays, and the potential for someone like Angelina Jolie or George Clooney to be bitten by a zombie would make for an attractive variant on the general idea of zombies. But I still feel like Liches were robbed. Not only are they several hundred years old, and consequently will be quite experienced between the sheets, but they also have access to high level magic spells, and as we all know there is nothing sexier than power. I do concur with skeletons being the sexiest type of undead though What exactly is the feeling you get from dancing on the ceiling? Is dancing on the ceiling even physically possible without breaking past the Earth's gravitational pull? Is Lionel Richie on drugs? These are all questions that will never be answered in my lifetime. If scientists can't even give us flying cars then what are the chances of them giving us something that we actually want?

It is 2014 and I cannot comprehend why Weird Al Yankovich is a thing. He may have been releasing "music" for 20 years, but why did we not stop him all that time ago? Is he too powerful now for us to stop? I suggest a

few brave souls gather together to form an adventuring party to track down whatever infernal mystical energy he uses to power himself and put a stop to this menace for the sake of all humanity I have a quick comment about your top 1 0 list of sexiest kinds of existential dread that keeps you up at night. I know that everyone has different views on what constitutes sexiness, but I can' t help but feel like the infinite yawning void of an uncaring universe should be much higher. It is lingering, dangerous, yet all consuming and almost intimate. To me at least it is far more enticing than, say, worried about whether you locked the front door or not

Why do we always give shitty famous people badass nicknames? What has Bruce Springsteen done to deserve being called The Boss? And William Shakespear being called The Bard!? What the fuck is that? Do you have any idea how much sex I would have got in college if my nickname was The Bard? Instead it gets wasted on some overrated asshole. William Shakespeare is the Bioshock Infinite of writers

I love your magazine but my modern lifestyle makes it difficult for me to really remember much ofwhat I read in it. May I humbly suggest two steps you could take to help rectify this problem? 1. Consider bullet pointing your articles: I'm pretty much going a million miles an hour every second ofthe day and while I like magazines I hate reading. Bullet points would take some ofthe work out ofyour periodical and prevent a thing I enjoy didn't take up too much time. 2. More photos ofcelebrities: I'm not obsessed with celebrity culture or into the worship offalse idols but photos ofcelebrities would really help me relate to the

stories in your magazine. The photos don't even have to be related to the story really. Ifyou could somehow make the photos move about it'd be even better. Please make sure you credit me ifeither ofthese ideas are implemented. Kindly, Buzz McFeed I can't help but feel there are too many sports. I suggest we get rid of Tennis and Golf at least, because lets be honest, nobody really cares about either of them. I can't help but feel this decision will be beneficial to both our cultural heritage and also society in general I feel like this is the only place I can put this why the fuck don't we have flying cars yet? Say I feel like driving my car off a cliff. Instead of it smoothly flying into the sky, it instead drops down and I get myself stuck and the rescue team calls me "stupid" and "putting myself and others at risk". If scientists spent more time curing cancer or inventing flying cars and less time genetically engineering One Direction then the world will be a much better place

I was out having Sunday lunch with my family when my Grandmother, who is 90 years old, started complaining loudly about their being "too many black people in the restaurant". We managed to ban smoking in most public areas, how about we move onto banning old people from the same areas? Maybe start up an initiative where we put down old people from birth? About your top 10 list of sexiest brand logos, I have to say you got it entirely spot on. Your reasoning was accurately researched and perfectly fit the criteria set out at the start of the article. Please keep up the good work!

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Relativistic Hog by Zachariah Brown 16

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Glory by Ryan Life after college is harder than I was expecting. I could have it worse, but between trying to make ends meet financially, finding out ADD is a real thing that I have, and spending most of my waking hours at work, things are a little shitty sometimes. The hardest thing for me personally, though, has been making new friends. People move away, and your coworkers are all older people with families whose only thing in common with you is that you both want to go home. Last fall, on a complete whim, my uncoordinated ass decided to join an adult, recreational soccer team with some guys I didn't even know. I was nervous as all get out at first, but I got to know them better and started going to Sporting KC games with some of them. Long story short, after spending 5 years not knowing anyone other than family and my wife in KC, I eventually realized that I actually had friends in my hometown again, and I wasn't so lonely anymore. I worry that this piece seems a bit bro-ish what with being sports related, but I wanted to learn block printing, and the first thing that came to mind was the motto of the MLS team that had brought me closer to my new friends. I'm proud of it, so I wanted to share.

Contributors

Amy KS

Amy is a journalist. She is in talks with bugs and the birds who eat them. twitter <3 music soundcloud.com/amyvibes @prismemoji

Charles Bane Jr.

Charles Bane, Jr. is the American author of The Chapbook ( Curbside Splendor, 2011) and Love Poems ( Kelsay Books, 2014). His work was described by the Huffington Post as "not only standing on the shoulders of giants, but shrinking them." Creator of The Meaning Of Poetry series for The Gutenberg Project, he is a current nominee as Poet Laureate of Florida. "In Paris" is from his new release. http://www.charlesbanejr.com

Chris Baird

Chris Baird makes comix on the internet for no one in particular. chrisbairdisdead.tumblr.com

Patricia P.

Patricia doesn't really know much about herself, other than that she likes to fail at making poems rhyme and imagine a life where she lives in the countryside. You can contact and find more of her poems on her blog: pennilesspoet.tumblr.com.

Georgene Nunn

Managing editor of Earth is Huge. Bit of a scamp for a 32 year old, really. Lives in NH. Pro Trash Princess.

marlin

sleepy zine designer and ice cream pie

Paul & Dan

One time, Paul and Dan once saw a guy walking around in the middle of the day dressed like Naruto. Follow them on twitter @scrublord and @The_Swole_Nerd to watch them talk about this event forever

Ryan P.

An English major born an raised in Kansas City. A fan of music, beer, and many other things. You can find me on Twitter as @WriterRyan.

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Shawn Berman

Shawn Berman is a warm beer. Shawn Berman is a strip club on a Monday afternoon. Shawn Berman is a pirate looking for booty. More specifically, your booty. Shawn Berman has work featured in theNewerYork, Potluck Magazine and Voicemail Poems. Shawn Berman can be followed on twitter @ramonbermanez.

Zachariah Brown

Art: zozxox.tumblr.com Comics: bitchimananime.tumblr.com Zine: tookawaiitodie.tumblr.com

Afterword When the last issue dropped and we started out the month, the layout editor and I had high hopes for an art-heavy issue. What we wound up with is what you see here. Poetry, journalism, comic art, our first block print, and comedy. Rolling into September, those of us in the Northern Hemisphere still have some summer yet to go, but the 23rd will see the Autumnal Equinox and the start of Fall. The Southern Hemisphere will close out their Winter with the Vernal Equinox and the beginning of Spring. With that in mind, let us make the creative prompt one of Transition. It's within nature to transition between phases of being frequently. The seasons turn, bringing waves of weather changes. Insects rapidly transition from miniscule wriggling worms to complex armored giants by comparison. Creatures large and small transition, with no small amount of luck, from the unformed seed-stuff of their parents into miniature versions that grow and whip rapidly from one stage of life to another. We as people transition our hearts and minds to accept new information about ourselves and others. Systems and bodies that lack transitions see decay, atrophy, and hardship. Much like Keep Moving, Transition is a topic that will always be appropriate and necessary to express. I'd still like to see us put out an art-centric issue, so by all means: draw, photograph, create comics, scribble, doodle, paint, carve, cut-and-paste, splash, stamp, sculpt, dress up, pose, pinprick, sew, layer, scramble, typeset, and do all the things that you do to express things visually. Of course, you are very welcome to submit your thoughts and stories in whatever way you see fit, but I encourage you to branch out and try a new medium of expression. You may find enjoyment in it, or relief, or challenge, or frustration, but you will almost certainly find something new. GHN 08/30/14

Earth is Huge and We Are All On It Vol. 4 "Keep Moving" SEP/OCT 2014

Earth is Huge and We Are All On It is an online zine that intends to publish monthly. Fiction, non-fiction, poetry, comics, stand-alone visual art, and anything that can be put on a page is welcome here. We seek to create space for all sorts of ideas and all sorts of people, and in particular want to create a welcoming environment for those who find themselves existing in the margins of society. Any brief study of historical texts will show that marginalia is where all the really interesting stuff lives. Visit us on tumblr for updates, calls for submissions, progress reports, and more:

earth-is-huge-mag.tumblr.com

Email giania+zine@gmail.com with questions, submissions, fan mail, hate mail, etc. Earth Is Huge And We Are All On It by http://earth-is-hugemag.tumblr.com/ is licensed under a Creative Commons AttributionNonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License. All works in this publication are subject to this license except where otherwise specified.