Coping During COVID-19

By Dr. Amanda Pileski, PHD

People are wearing masks everywhere we look, the town restaurants are empty, and places of support are relegated to online platforms that feel impersonal and sometimes awkward. This COVID-19 pandemic is the biggest disruption to the global economy and American lives since WWII. We entered this time period assuming a duration of one month or less, and we now fnd ourselves beginning summer with continued restrictions. Our nation is facing fnancial stress, questions of job security, and health anxiety. Our schedules are disrupted, and we are all questioning “when will our normal return?!”

Quarantine Fatigue As a result of this overwhelming change, people are experiencing what psychologists call “Quarantine Fatigue.” This new term refers to restlessness, frustration, and a variety of other symptoms due to stay-at-home orders. Many people who previously had some degree of movement and routine in their jobs are now engaging in less physical activity. Decreased physical activity then contributes to less energy to cope with stress. Living in a time of constant change, disrupted routines, conficting news, and continuous uncertainty takes a major toll on our ability to regulate emotions. Much of our cognitive space is also limited by worries about the future, so concentration is more diffcult. These declines in functioning are also coming at a time when parents are expected to pull double duty of work and teaching kids from home. If you are experiencing concentration issues, preoccupation with news, irritability, sleep disruption, and/or lack of motivation – please know help is available.

Toxic Positivity Although many of us may want to overlook negative events and focus on what is positive, this approach may not serve us best during a true worldwide negative event of unknown duration. Cognitive behavioral therapy and positive psychology approaches work well for individuals with cognitive distortions (inaccurate negative thoughts), but what happens when there truly are concerning experiences occurring in the world? If we conceal our true human feelings with an excessively positive “everything is wonderful” attitude (Toxic Positivity), we will likely fall into a state of repressed emotions and denial. This later becomes very unhealthy for our physical bodies. Several research studies have shown how suppressing emotions causes increased sympathetic activation of the cardiovascular system (Gross & Levenson, 1997). Essentially, individuals who suppress emotions may appear calm on the outside, but the long-term physiological impact may be harming the body in other ways.

If Positivity Is Bad, Then What? A positive attitude is good for all of us, but like all things in life, excessive positivity (toxic positivity) can be harmful. Positivity in the form of gratitude is helpful because it does not invalidate other emotions unless you say, “I should not feel sad, I have so much to be thankful for.” You absolutely can feel sad about the grief people are experiencing during this time and the hardships of life, while also saying, “I am thankful for my blessings.” I also recommend utilizing self-compassion to validate, normalize,

and support oneself during this time. I fnd it helpful to use a 3-point mantra developed by a psychologist named Kristin Neff. It goes: (1) This is a moment of suffering, (2) Suffering is a part of life, (3) May I be kind to myself during this time. Notice the difference in the earlier example I gave. Someone who has the mentality “I should not feel sad because…” will essentially be struggling against the emotion of sadness. When we try to suppress our feelings due to discomfort or the mentality that we “always” have to be happy, we turn to unhealthy ways of coping to numb or push away the diffcult feelings. This is oftentimes why people have problems with overeating, alcoholism, workaholism, and ongoing relationship issues.

Post Traumatic Growth A friend on my research team in grad school completed her dissertation on something called Posttraumatic Growth (PTG). This generally is what I tend to think about when working through diffcult life experiences such as the current pandemic. How can we validate the diffculty of what is going on, while also changing our narrative of the experience to include a better understanding of the self, others, and the world? Are we becoming more resilient and empathetic as a result? Do we forge deeper relationships and focus more on our connections? Is there spiritual and/or religious growth via developing a greater appreciation of life and our world? Essentially, I believe the challenges in life serve to highlight our true values, provide growth opportunities, draw us closer to our creator, and reinforce the understanding that we are only here for a short while. We must remember there was no promise of an easy life, but we are all capable of creating a meaningful life.

Coping Ideas People come to therapy wanting “relief” rather than to “feel” the diffcult emotions, so the art of therapy becomes encouraging moderation and fexibility. We strive to provide relief from distressing symptoms, but also help patients gain the confdence to experience the diffcult emotions. Below are a few strategies for coping during this diffcult time: a Maintain a Routine (especially your sleep schedule!) a Stay hydrated (H20) and well nourished a Practice Mindfulness / Guided Imagery / Progressive a Muscle Relaxation / Box Breathing a Exercise Regularly a Journal – it feels a little less like Groundhog Day when you document changes in yourself a Connect with others via social distancing / phone / video chat

“Sufcient sleep, exercise, healthy food, friendship, and peace of mind are necessities, not luxuries.” Mark Halperin

If you experience trouble coping and feel psychotherapy could be a beneft, call Dr. Amanda Pileski at 404-291-4018.