Gratitude

By Liz Alley

Gratitude - noun: a feeling of appreciation, the state of being grateful

I’ve had to rethink Thanksgiving Day. I share my girls with their husband’s families now. This is something that took me by surprise. Even though I know how this marriage thing works, I forgot until it interfered with my own plans. Thanksgiving used to be in such a tidy package. My mom, dad, siblings, mother and father in-law, came to our house for Thanksgiving. My kids and husband were all still intact as a family unit. Well, the times, they are a changing. My parents are unable to travel, my siblings have their own Thanksgivings with their kids, husband is gone and my daughters have two Thanksgivings to fit into one day. Thanksgiving used to be a week or more of hustle and bustle, but now mine is quite calm. The kids eat lunch with their respective in-laws, leaving dinner to be with me. After preparing a huge meal at my house the first year of their marriages and watching them eat the equivalent of a tablespoon, I decided something had to change. Now, we have dessert at my house and it’s actually very nice. The pressure is off by then and I get the more relaxed version of my kids. They have changed clothes, probably because their pants won’t buckle from all the lunch food, and we open the kitchen door to the back yard. We put on the coffee pot and talk about what we’re thankful for. In addition to my own kids, there is one of my son in law’s mom, her parents and a few of my friends. Sometimes there is even a straggler or two. This way of doing things has evolved over the past four years. At first, I missed the old way terribly and I felt lost. Now, I’m finding if I allow life to show me what to do, it always will and as Ecclesiastes 3:1-13 reminds us, for everything there is a season. There was a season in my life where my mom and dad showed up days before Thanksgiving, their car low to the ground with all the stuff they’d brought. When Mom’s apple cake would be nestled in an airtight container on the backseat and the trunk full of groceries like Newnan didn’t have grocery stores and pots and pans like I didn’t own any. There was a season when the house was brimming with mountaineers, hectic with kids running in and out, the guys watching football, the women clucking in the kitchen, but that season is over, I still put out the three tablecloths where we wrote what we were thankful for over the span of about 20 years. I got on everybody’s nerves so much when I started this tradition. I chased around reluctant participants (my dad especially but most everyone else too) with sharpie in hand. Now, I look at them every year and see how our family has evolved. Nieces and nephews who were young and thankful for puppies and good grades, became adults who were thankful for spouses and babies. On those tablecloths are job changes, health issues, presidential election results, marriages, births, deaths, new cars, and answered prayers. I drag them down from the attic every year, and if there isn’t enough room for them on the table, I hang them on the fence for everyone to read. 2020 has been a year of challenges in the wake of a pandemic, elections, and division amongst us. I liken it to looking both ways before crossing the road and then getting hit by an airplane. Still, there is much to be thankful for. The mountains, in their grand finale of Fall, look like a patchwork quilt with their fading yellows, browns and oranges. Outdoor fire pits beckon us to stay up with the stars, while frosted mornings break open a silvery sun. The hills quieten as they make their bed for winter. Best of all though, is when we take a day to be thankful for the souls around our table, along with the joy and sorrow that so often binds us together.

Liz Alley was born and raised in Rabun County in the city of Tiger. She loves to write. She is an interior designer specializing in repurposing the broken, tarnished, chipped, faded, worn and weathered into pieces that are precious again. She is the mother of two daughters and one granddaughter. She divides her time between her home in Newnan and Rabun County.

Franklin, North Carolina