Fear Has Overtaken Contentment What are the standards of a perfect family? Is it having that two-story dream house with a grassy lawn outside with all those picket fences? Is it getting that family friendly Labrador dog that plays with their two children that are super smart and super sporty? Is it having the perfect parents that are both successful yet they still have time for themselves and their children? Media portrays the perfect poster family as a family that practically has everything. They set the standards of a family so high that it is unattainable so in the end, people wear masks? Masks. Everyone wears them. If you do not, you end up getting hurt for wearing your heart on your sleeves. Families pretend to be that perfect family media loves to showcase. They keep a web of secrets that will continue to spin with lies. It will be difficult for everyone to distinguish what is real from what is fake. Children often believe these lies. They see a picture perfect family with their picture perfect house living in that paper town and that makes them envious. They see it everywhere on papers and they wonder why their family is not like theirs. They start feeling as if they were lacking something. Instead of the child feeling content in the arms of one parent. They wish for two. This is a wish that can only remain a wish because their parent is too busy to do it. Contentment is something one should feel on their own. One does not depend on others to make them feel contented. If people keep comparing their lives with others, insecurities start welling up inside of them, making them feel less than what they already have. People tend to always look for things that are not present. Can't someone just be happy for the simple things life gives them? Fear of being judged keeps people from feeling contentment. Society gives everyone this need to always have the latest things- the new phone model that just came up, those new red-soled shoes that was just displayed today, or that new car model that was just created. People keep pining for newer things, people keep succumbing into the cruel standards society puts on them just so that one can fit in to that idea of "perfect." This fear always throws one off course in their search for true happiness. He always feels that short-term happiness and acceptance when someone compliments his new "hot wheels" or when people say that they love the shade of lipstick she was wearing. They feel an overwhelming addictive feeling of full acceptance and may have about five seconds of fame. That is, until people start turning their backs again because now they are not "cultured" enough. They cannot fit in again because they were left out. What can they do about it? People tend to fall into this endless cycle of buying the latest clothing, accessories, and cars. With the ideas media instills of what are the standards of a perfect family, a child will always feel like something is lacking in their lives. Their fear of being judged as the "child who was so bad his mom never even visited," "the product of a one-night stand," "the son of that woman," and the likes will keep haunting him because society tells him in order for a family to be perfect, they need to be complete. In a race of fear versus contentment, fear always wins. The fear of not being enough, the fear of people judging you and calling you names behind your back, and the fear of being shamed will always keep us awake at night that it will never give us a breath of relief. And that is truly the saddest part. In single parenting, the child although mature will still need to deal with their fellow peers and classmates. The continuous wish for acceptance and being that idea of a perfect family will ruin the self-esteem of
the child if it is not handled and dealt with correctly. The fact that the child assumes that having only one parent is "abnormal" and unlikely, will lead to the child always wishing for more. They will feel like something in them is lacking and when they drown themselves with technological advancements, this emptiness they feel will gnaw their gut making them feel hollow and emotionless. But the truth is, we cannot put the standards of a perfect family through the amount of materials or abilities the family has. That is a superficial way in viewing the idea of a family. A family is not just a group of people genetically related to each other by means of reproduction. They are the basic foundation of the growth of the child, they are what we first call home. And even if the members are not perfect, what matters is the love they share and the joy they bring to each other. It is just another bunch of imperfect people finding perfect pieces in each other. Together, they were imperfect perfections. Because even if they are not complete, they complete each other.