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Scan here to join the club Luxe for less

— by Krysten Davis —

There are several ways I manage to find luxury without selling a kidney. My ALL-time favorite is op-shopping. I bloody love op-shopping. I know what you’re thinking, crusty clothes, smelling of mothballs in outdated styles sold by geriatrics in dark overfilled shops. You could not be further from the truth……. Well maybe there is the occasional smell of mothballs. One of my recent purchases (from an Op Shop in Robina) is a stunning pair of genuine Givenchy kitten heels for $10!!! Now that is luxe for less. Let me fill you in on my Op Shop rules: 1. It must fit perfectly (I can sew- but what happens is I plan to alter something, never get around to it and end up re-donating the article to the Op Shop 18th months later!) 2. It must be a good brand. (There is no point spending $10 on something from Valley Girl if it was only $12 to start with- another hint- most Op shops have no idea- so you’ll find Target on the ‘designer’ rack and Carla Zampatti amongst the general stuff) 3. It must be good fabric. (Linen, silk, wool, thick, soft cotton- none of the cheap crap that will not last and is probably already ruined by the one wash the previous owner gave it) 4. Don’t forget to look in the ‘treasure’. (The un-initiated may not know that most Op Shops have a cabinet, usually near the front of the shop, where they keep the jewellery and sparkly things. This will contain 99% revolting costume jewellery fit for nothing but a toddlers toy box. But…. Amongst this I have found diamonds and 18ct gold and magnificent solid silver and pearls- it’s a real-life treasure hunt and so incredibly exciting when you find awesome loot). If you really can’t bring yourself to set foot in an Op Shop (you’re crazy) but you can also have a champagne and swap party. Everyone brings 10 things they have loved but no longer love, or don’t fit or just need to never wear again. Everyone also brings champagne and you sit around chatting and trying on clothes and go home with things that will be your new favourites and cost you nothing! Both of these ‘luxe for less’ methods mean that you can experiment with style and colour in a way that you never would if you had to pay full price. The Gold Coast has some really amazing Op Shops and they raise money for good causes. So, if you’ve never been, save some money, find some treasure and get out there and pop your Op Shop cherry!

Fashion - Accessories

Labels carefully selected for quality, fit and design from Australian and European designers. Complemented witth fabulous costume jewellery and accessories.

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Conflict - Divorce - Heartache How to navigate loss.

Dee Hardy - Shifting Tides Counselling

Meet our new columnist, Shifting Tides Counsellor Dee Hardy . Each month, Dee will share her insights and answer your most common questions about mental health and wellbeing.

Are you going through challenging times right now? Are you looking down the barrel of that rabbit hole and seeing the knock-on effect in other areas of your life with your pain, anger, loss, overwhelm? What you’re experiencing might be happening to you as an individual, but in reality, it’s likely affecting family groups, friendships and workplaces. There’s always a lot at stake and we must keep life moving forward. It doesn’t stop because there’s a crisis in our piece of the world.

Even though your first reaction might be to say to yourself ‘I so wish this wouldn’t affect me,’ it does, and it will, but we can find strategies to guide us through these life challenges so that you can move forward.

Do you have: • Conflict at home • Challenges at your workplace with communication • Amongst friends, family and other people in our lives - is there resistance, stonewalling, gaslighting or just that feeling that things are off kilter?

Maybe you are managing a ‘repeat offence’ or in simple terms, finding yourself in the same situation, conflict or drama and realised that you may not have learned the lesson or developed the skills to avoid or navigate the situation when it presents itself again. One of the easiest ‘repeat’ offending scenarios in life is finding ourselves caught in the middle of conflict, when conversation and communication breaks down, and finding ourselves doing it, time and time again. ’So how could you have avoided this from happening? ‘ First step: Reach out and ask for help If you or a loved one find yourself in the heady space of emotional conflict and the way forward seems bleak or fuzzy, encourage conversation. Mediating conflict is a skill and is necessary to find that platform for change. Seeking the advice of a counsellor experienced in conflict resolution is critical to support you through challenging conversations. They will help you work on simple, real and honest strategies to unlock the ‘knot’ that is holding you back from moving forward. Here are some strategies to start you on your journey: • Ask yourself, ’Is this situation/ circumstance/ scenario good for me?’ • Place your right hand on your heart, feel that question and sit with it for a moment, and take the time to feel your response… this allows you to engage with you • Breath before you react • Most people in conflict wait for their turn to speak…in effect, listening to what the other person is saying, with the sole intent of waiting to respond….if you breath slowly, slow everything down, you take pressure off your nervous system and slow down the

‘fight or flight’ responses, giving you space and time to consider what you have heard and make the response come from a space of constructive conversation not defensive mode

If we teach ourselves to listen with the intent to understand, we can look beyond the ‘words’ said in the heat of the moment and listen to the message instead. Understand and working on conflict management rather than winning an argument. Don’t take words on their face value alone.

Arguments are rarely about the one item you are yelling about – they are sometimes so deep seeded that the real issues at hand have been buried or lost along the way and we lose sight of what it is that is causing so much grief. Know there is support out there, real life and practical strategies that ‘skill’ you up so life can offer you the path of least resistance.

So today, take a moment to slow things down – take that walk that you may have overlooked recently; sip your coffee without technology in hand and really appreciate the aroma, flavour and enjoy just being in the moment. Rather than doing everything at once, do one thing in fullness and move to the next thing and do that in fullness…. the art of compartmentalisation can decrease stress and overwhelm, giving you that sense of achievement and contentment so that your ‘tank’ stays full, and doesn’t run dry. Looking forward to chatting next time. Have a question for Dee? Email editor@getitmagazine.com.au