Ted Talks: Unjust Saying 5 Health Phrases that Should Be Banned Forever

TED TALKS

THE HUMOROUS SIDE OF HEALTH

Ted Spiker (@ProfSpiker) is the chair of the University of Florida department of journalism, as well as a health and fitness writer. He is the author of DOWN SIZE, a book about the science and soul of weightloss and dieting.

Unjust Saying:

5 Health Phrases that Should Be Banned Forever

BY TED SPIKER

Spending more than 20 years writing about health, reading about health, and doing battle with peanutbutter cookies means you come into contact with a lot of words about health. These are the five phrases I’ve had enough of.

Runner's High

As in, when the endorphins kick in at the end of the run, you’ll feel so good and experience the runner’s high.

All for it. But could we please have some of that juju at the start, middle, and all throughout a run in 95-degree heat?

No Pain, No Gain

As in, work hard in the gym and you’ll get results. No gain, no pain, brother!

My pain: Every time I try to do burpees.

My gains: In the adipose-tissue department.

Just Do It

As in, you can just decide that you want to accomplish your goal, and you will, if you just do it.

Oh OK. I get it. I guess I can just—finally, after five-plus decades on earth—dO a daMn pULluP. I’d like to make a friendly edit from “[Just] Do It” to “[Spend your life chipping away every day by trying to make good choices, fighting your demons, and getting there one damn step at a time, pound at a time, and celery stick at a time and then maybe you’ll be able to] Do It.”

IN MODERATION

As in, you can eat any food you like as long as it’s in moderation.

Really? Have you ever had just 4 ounces of wine or stopped at half a taco? No doubt, one little cheese fry and I know I’m perrrrrrrrrrrrfectly satisfied. Yes, moderation is an excellent guidepost. Yes, moderation can get results. Yes, moderation is smart. Yes, I’m bitter that my foodology resume includes zero doggie bags.

But you look Healthy

As in, I know you don’t feel well, but you look healthy.

Uh, much of our health happens inside the body. Why are we judging someone’s health because they project some sort of positivity? Just because someone smiles, laughs, and glows doesn’t mean there isn’t some kind of turmoil or tornado—physical or mental—happening inside.