Depression and anxiety in young children: picturebooks that help

By Shoshana Magnet

“For nothing was simply one thing” –Virginia Woolf, To the Lighthouse. That is one of my favourite quotes – it seems to me to be in praise of ambiguity. To me, it speaks deeply of the paradoxical nature of parenthood. So many moments simultaneously endless and fleeting, every stage agonizingly slow and then over all too soon.

One of my profound needs during this challenging time is to both make and find meaning in its attendant sadnesses. One of the paradoxical things about grief is that it can bring us together – it can lead us to what writer Susan Cain, in her beautiful book Bittersweet, calls “a union of souls.” Speaking of how we all contain such deep longings, Cain describes how they are often connected to sadness, to yearning, and how these feelings of great aches for what she calls the “unreachable perfect world” can happen through art, music, nature. The places we yearn for have many names: from “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” to “Home” to, as Cain notes “the novelist Mark Merlis puts it, ‘the shore from which we were deported before we were born’.” And grief can transport us to those places together – in sharing grief and yearning, we can connect, because “The place you suffer…is the same place you care profoundly – care enough to act.” These portals are everywhere: a glowing raindrop or a haunting melody – all of these can serve as gateways to that for which we long. For me, the gateway to my “perfect, unreachable world” is picturebooks. Picturebooks are art objects: they are collections of paintings and poems, and they are tributes to complexity that are helping me personally to make meaning out of this difficult time.

The Red Tree, by Shaun Tan

I include this book because it does the best imaginable job of explaining some of the characteristics of anxiety and depression to young children.

Sometimes the day begins with nothing to look forward to and things go from bad to worse. I see it in the children around me. A case of the Sunday night blues, or a case of the Mondays. Unexpected tears and a general sense of ennui. They wake up with difficulty and kind of lie around looking demoralized. What a contrast to the Saturday wake up! The Red Tree is there to remind us that sometimes the world can feel like a cruel machine “without sense or reason,” or that “sometimes you wait and wait and wait and wait and wait, but nothing ever happens.” Sometimes it seems as if “you just don’t know what you are supposed to do or who you are meant to be.” It’s true, isn’t it? For all of us who experience grief and big sadness (which is to say, all of us), here is the book that makes a person feel very seen. Also, in the tradition of hopefulness and earnestness that I so appreciate in children’s picturebooks, The Red Tree reminds us that suddenly there it is right in front of you, quietly waiting just as you imagined it would be.

Out of a Jar, by Deborah Marcero

Out of a Jar explains how when we shut down our grief, we also shut down our joy. “Anxiety is sublimated grief,” said my brilliant therapist of 20 years. It starts with Llewelyn, a little bunny who likes scary movies and scary costumes but doesn’t like feeling afraid. He puts his fear in a jar and then takes it down, down, down some stairs to a sort of basement to “lock it away,” and “that was that.”

Each uncomfortable feeling that Llewelyn has – loneliness, disappointment, grief – all these go in jars too. In keeping with the strange truth that being happy is as vulnerable as being sad (in fact, people struggling with addiction are as likely to use when they are feeling really up as they are when feeling really down), even Llewelyn’s joy and excitement seem to overwhelm the people around him. And all too soon, “Llewelyn walked around feeling not much of anything at all.”

This is one of the things that scares me about raising sons. Please let them continue to feel. Delight, grief, disappointment, loneliness and joy. Let them never be told to “walk it off” or not to cry. I fear the comfortably numb fog of toxic masculinity.

When Llewelyn is shamed in front of the class, “He tried not to show it but that just made it worse” and “Something rumbled deep inside of him.” All of those feelings “broke loose and pummeled Llewelyn with a stampede that turned him into a ragged heap of bunny onto the floor.” And yet, after his feelings return, something “happened that Llewelyn did not expect.” He feels more than one thing at once: he was “happy and sad” or “excited and worried.” Llewelyn musters the courage to feel and share his feelings, and “when he was ready, to look each feeling in the eye, give it a hug, and let it go.” And, friends, “that, really was that.”

Shoshana Magnet is a professor at the Institute of Feminist and Gender Studies at the University of Ottawa.

- New-York style, art deco, classic red brick condominium

- Over 1500 square feet of generously proportioned living space

- 2 bedrooms, 2.5 bathroom, office, lots of storage, beautiful hardwood floors

- 1 car indoor parking, locker, rooftop terrace with BBQ

- 98 walkscore -walk to Bank & Elgin Street, Rideau Canal, NAC

For more details visit us:

260 Metcalfe Street, Unit 3B Nina

By Jenny Demark

Psychology is the scientific study of the mind and behaviour. It is a very broad field, with branches studying neuroscience, development, social behaviour, learning, memory and perception, to name just a few. Psychologists are interested in learning about people, animals, organizations and societies.

What is a clinical psychologist?

Clinical psychologists provide mental and behavioural health care for children, adolescents, adults, couples and families. They work to improve the lives of others through comprehensive assessment, diagnostic clarification, therapy and education.

Like dentists, physiotherapists and physicians, psychologists are one of the regulated health professionals in Ontario. They have completed a rigorous training and licensing process. They typically have a PhD in clinical psychology (although some are authorized to practise with a master’s degree) that required comprehensive coursework, independent research and clinical training. They have completed thousands of hours of supervised clinical work and they have passed three exams to assess their understanding of psychology, the relevant laws that govern psychology, ethics and clinical practice guidelines. They are required to complete ongoing professional development and to keep up-to-date with the regulations developed by the College of Psychologists of Ontario.

Who might want to see a clinical psychologist?

People see psychologists for so many reasons, way too many to describe here. For the most part, people work with psychologists to gain a deeper understanding of themselves, their children or their relationships. You may be wondering if your child is developing in a typical manner. You may want to explore how a past trauma is affecting your current relationships. Or you may want to improve communication between you and your spouse. Psychologists are uniquely qualified to assess, diagnose and treat mental health issues (e.g., anxiety, depression, addictions) and developmental concerns (e.g., ADHD, autism spectrum disorder, learning disabilities).

What can I expect when working with a clinical psychologist?

Embarking on a relationship with a psychologist can seem daunting. Rest assured, there will be no lying on couches or years of Freudian-style psychoanalysis. Your psychologist will explain their process, they will answer any questions that you may have, and they will keep all your information confidential. For the first appointment, you can expect to learn about the psychologist’s approach to treatment, their fees and the frequency of sessions. Depending on the nature of your concerns, they may want to you to complete standardized testing or questionnaires to better understand your (or your child’s) thinking skills, behaviour or emotions.

Do not be afraid to ask questions and lots of them! Psychologists want you to feel comfortable and they are obligated to keep you informed every step of the way. Research has shown that a strong, collaborative and trusting rapport with your psychologist is one of the best predictors of positive therapeutic outcomes.

How do I find a clinical psychologist?

Psychologists can be found working in hospitals, schools, mental health clinics or private practices. If they are in private practice, their services are not covered by OHIP, but they may be covered by employee assistance programs or insurance. Some psychologists provide pro bono services for certain communities.

The Ottawa Academy of Psychology, www.ottawa-psychologists.org, is a great place to start your search. The academy maintains a searchable online directory of psychologists working in the community. You can find a psychologist with expertise in the issue you want to work on and you can refine your search based on the psychologist’s location in the city, languages spoken and age range of clientele.

Even if you are just starting to think about seeing a psychologist, it is worth looking for options now and perhaps putting your name on some waiting lists, which can be lengthy. Do not wait for a crisis situation to occur before reaching out for help.

Where can I learn more?

The Canadian Psychological Association, www.cpa.ca, has lots of helpful information about the practice of psychology in Canada. They also have several factsheets that explain diagnosis and treatment for many mental health concerns, such as mood disorders, pain management, coping with a crisis and developmental disorders.

The Ontario Psychological Association, www.psych.on.ca, supports the nearly 4,000 psychologists in the province by providing continuing education and professional resources. They also have useful information for people looking to find a psychologist in their community. Their Q & A page answers common questions about the profession.

February is the time when psychologists spread the word about the differences they are making in the lives of others. Happy Psychology Month!

Jenny Demark, Ph.D., C.Psych., is a psychologist who lives in the Glebe and works nearby.