The Glebe according to ChatGP

Note from the Editor: Zeus is attending the Capitalist Rodent Annual Communist Convention (CRACC) in Holguin, Cuba. In his stead, he used the new ChatGP, developed by GiddyPigs.com, to generate his column. He provided the instructions

“Write a 300-word witty satire from a guinea pig’s perspective on patios in a small neighbourhood.” The result is below.

As a guinea pig, I must say that patio season in our small neighbourhood is quite the spectacle. Humans seem to flock to the outdoor seating areas of restaurants and bars as soon as the weather turns even slightly warm. They bask in the sunshine with their frosty beverages, completely oblivious to the fact that they are not the only creatures who call these patios home.

You see, we guinea pigs have been living in these outdoor spaces long before the humans ever set foot on them. We’ve made cozy little burrows under the tables and chairs and we’ve become quite adept at dodging clumsy human feet as they stumble around in their drunken stupors.

But despite our long-standing residency, the humans seem to think that they are the only ones entitled to enjoy the patios. They shoo us away, as if we are nothing more than pests to be eradicated. It’s quite insulting, really.