3 minute read
GLEBOUS & COMICUS
Aussie slang is just plain fun
By Rémi Samson
To outsiders, there’s something sexy about Aussie slang – those colourful, often impenetrable expressions that pepper casual speech. In several mid-1980s ads, Paul Hogan of Crocodile Dundee fame relied on this feature to promote Australia, promising potential tourists that locals would “flash those pearly whites and say g’day” while “slipping an extra shrimp on the barbie.”
Beyond these clichés, Australian slang is just plain fun. As a bonus, learning it helps avoid misunderstandings. At the beach, for example, you’ll want to put those thongs on your feet and you won’t want to confuse speedos (or budgie smugglers) with a speedo (speedometer). It also helps to know that a dunny is a toilet and that bum nuts are what chooks (chickens) produce.
Colourful expressions abound. You can be going flat out like a lizard drinking (being busy) while having a sticky beak (checking something out). If you’re feeling smug, then you’re a happy little Vegemite, aren’t ya? And if an Australian calls you fair dinkum, that’s high praise.
Australians add the diminutive “-y or -ee” sound everywhere. Tradies include brickies (bricklayers), sparkies (electricians) and fireys (firemen). Want a day off from work? Chuck a sickie! Going the wrong way? Chuck a uey! Stay away from crocs, both salties and freshies. And like Canada, Australia’s buzzing with mossies (pronounced moz-zies), from Brissie (Brisbane) to Tassie (Tasmania).
Then there’s this gem: This arvo, I packed the ankle biters into the ute to go buy some ice blocks, but once I got to the servo, I realized I’d forgotten the esky. Crikey!
In case it’s not crystal clear, arvo is afternoon, an ankle biter is a small child, a ute is a utility vehicle, and you can put an ice block (popsicle) in an esky (cooler) to keep cool (next to the Chateau de Cardboard). A servo, of course, is a gas station.
Have a cracker of a day!
Rémi Samson is passionate about the ways language, law and power intersect. He worked as a lawyer with the Supreme Court of Canada for over two decades and is biding his time to return to Australia.
The Glebe
according to Zeus
A GUINEA PIG’S PERSPECTIVE ON THE GLEBE
Guinea pigs stepping up once again!
Next time you go out to eat, vaccine passports and QR menus may not be the only thing that’s new. In a desperate effort to fill staff shortages, Glebe restaurants have turned to GiddyPigs. com, which advertises low cost, friendly and furry guinea pigs to do anything from greeting customers to table cleanup.
Pivoting during the pandemic after supply chain issues, the multi-neighbourhood GiddyPigs.com turned to serving the community as an employment agency. “We recognized quite quickly that our current staff of guinea pigs could be sold – er, sent to other employers to work and that we, as a company, could produce nothing and still make a whopping – er, still uphold shareholder commitments,” explained Butchie, the latest second-in-command to Zeus at GiddyPigs.com.
But some say it’s a scam and warn businesses to be wary. “Butchie is very convincing when you meet him. He coos about all the guinea pigs’ attributes, such as strong communication and work ethic. And then he marches them in and, you know, it’s quite moving to see 12 well-groomed guinea pigs all lined up in a row and ready to work when you’ve been struggling to find staff,” sniffed a teary restaurant owner. “But then the guinea pigs didn’t just show up to work, they moved in! They pester guests by begging for garnish and they sit and talk your ear off. They’re the worst staff ever! And they won’t leave!”
Others, notably the Interspecies Labour Organization (ILO), expressed significant concern regarding rodent trafficking and labour exploitation. But all the guinea pigs interviewed, including François and Jean-Guy, stated that life is absolutely grand working for the employment agency. “We get the Glebe Recovery Benefit (GRB) and free garnish and socializing every night! I’ve never lived better!”
If you have an employment need, contact Butchie@Buy-ErRentAPig.com for a free consultation.
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