Letters to Young Black Women, by Daniel Whyte III with Meriqua & Daniella Whyte by GLM Omnimedia Group

If you would like to purchase this book, Letters to Young Black Women is available wherever fine books are sold, including: www.Amazon.com www.BarnesandNoble.com www.BooksAMillion.com www.Target.com www.Borders.com www.ChristianBook.com www.BlackCBC.com www.TorchLegacy.com www.GospelLightBookstore.com You can find out more about this book at: www.LetterstoYoungBlackWomen.org or www.DanielWhyte3.com

Letters To Young Black Women 3

Other Books by

Daniel Whyte III - LETTERS TO YOUNG BLACK MEN - MO’ LETTERS TO YOUNG BLACK MEN - LETTERS TO YOUNG BLACK MEN (STUDY GUIDE) - LETTERS TO YOUNG BLACK MEN (LEADERS GUIDE) - WHEN BLACK PREACHERS PREACH, Volume I, Editor - WHEN BLACK PREACHERS PREACH, Volume II, Editor - WHEN BLACK PREACHERS PREACH, Volume III, Editor - MONEY UNDER THE CAR SEAT (AND OTHER THINGS TO THANK GOD FOR) - 7 THINGS YOUNG BLACK MEN DO TO MESS UP THEIR LIVES - 7 THINGS YOUNG BLACK WOMEN DO TO MESS UP THEIR LIVES - JUST JESUS!: THE GREATEST THINGS EVER SAID ABOUT THE GREATEST MAN WHO EVER LIVED, Editor 5

- GOD HAS SMILED ON ME: A TRIBUTE TO A BLACK FATHER WHO STAYED

Letters to Young Black Women Loving, Fatherly Advice and Encouragement for a Difficult Journey

Daniel Whyte III with Meriqua & Daniella Whyte And with a Special Testimonial Chapter from Joslyn Neblett 7

LETTERS TO YOUNG BLACK WOMEN Cover Design by Bill Hopper of Hopper Graphics. ÂŠ Copyright 2006 TORCH LEGACY PUBLICATIONS, DALLAS, TEXAS; ATLANTA, GEORGIA; BROOKLYN, NEW YORK First Printing, 2006 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owner, except for brief quotations included in a review of the book. ___________________________________________________

The Bible quotations in this volume are from the King James Version of the Bible. The name TORCH LEGACY PUBLICATIONS and its logo are registered as a trademark in the U.S. patent office. ISBN: 0-9763487-6-4 Printed in the USA.

What People are Saying About Letters to Young Black Women From Across the Nation • “Next to the Bible, Letters to Young Black Women is a must read for young women.” —Dr. B. Fishburne Columbia, South Carolina

• “I recently purchased Letters to Young Black Women and have to say I was pleased with the content. I plan on buying a few more copies to give to the young black females I teach. I have also read Letters to Young Black Men and purchased a few copies for the young black males I teach. As a young, educated, single, African-American woman raising a young girl, I am constantly searching for guidance. I, myself, struggled as a young girl (born to two mentally ill parents; raised in a variety of foster homes) to avoid the many pitfalls that young women are faced with today. It was only through constant prayer, protection from the Lord, education and research that I was able to overcome a variety of challenges. I believe that this will be a great book for me to share with my daughter and nieces. It is sad to say, but books like yours are all I have to offer my child from a father’s point of view. It is a wonderful start and hopefully I will be able to break the chain and cultivate a group of young ladies who have the know how and strength to operate from a position of strength and power. Thanks again for writing such a wonderful book that I believe has the power to help many young women simply based on the fact that your thoughts are so resounding that they almost walk across the page and whisper into the reader’s ears.” —L. Robinson Pittsburgh, PA

• “I have read your books entitled: Letters to Young Black Men and Letters to Young Black Women. I enjoyed them both tremendously. I could really relate to Letters to Young Black Women because I am a young black woman,

attending Florida A&M University in a MBA Program on a full scholarship, and reaching graduation shortly at the age of 19. I agree with your opinion on women being knowledgeable and sharing that knowledge with others. I feel that education is extremely important and even at a young age I am trying to develop creative ways to share that knowledge with my fellow young black sisters. Your book hits on so many good points. I wish I had the time to discuss them all, but time is of the essence. I pray that your ministry will continue to flourish and grow because your words of wisdom to young ladies are vital. I grew up with biblical teaching from many women, but to hear a man’s point of view showed me a different light of things. The chapter “Beware of the Dogs” is AWESOME! You are so right about the different breeds of dogs out there. That chapter really took my blinders off to see these dogs for the dogs they are. Your book helped me to re-think a few areas in my 5 and 10 year plans. I just wanted you to know that your male perspective was a great help to me and may have kept me from destruction. God really works in mysterious ways and I’m glad to be His daughter. Just to let you know, your book is a key tool in our ‘Generation to Generation’ ministry. My mother and I travel around dancing and talking to young and old women about their spiritual beauty. Your book is so on time.” —R. Jefferson Student, Florida A&M University Tallahassee, Florida

• “I want to say that your two books Letters To Young Black Women and Letters To Young Black Men, are an inspiration to me. I have just started reading a lot of Christian books and your books caught my eye when I was in the grocery store shopping and saw the book Letters To Young Black Women on the stand. I bought it and started reading it and found myself in that book. After I finished reading the book, I noticed that you had one out for young black men as well. I bought it and finished reading it, and through it you have given me so many tips on young black men. I thought that since I am a single parent raising two young men that they needed to read the book Letters to Young Black Men. Once they have finished reading the book I will be asking them some questions on how they interpreted the reading of the book. I thank God for your inspiration on writing these books. God Bless you and your family who took the time out to help you write it and give you some pointers on writing the Letters to Young Black Women. GOD BLESS.” —T. Davis

• “I picked up a copy of your book, Letters to Young Black Women, as stocking stuffers for the young women in my life, and I found it to be most enjoyable even at my age! I loved the book recommendations at the end of each chapter, most of which I have read. Kudos to Mr. Whyte!” —S. Graham Carol Stream, Illinois

• “All praises to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. It is indeed an honor to know the Whyte family and to be considered apart of such a family circle. I pray that God would continuously bless your family and your ministry. I'm persuaded and motivated to keep living and spreading this glorious gospel. I just wanted to say thank you personally. Because of your wonderful books and their foundational teachings seeds are being planted across the world. As a young, educated, single, African-American woman who's constantly searching for guidance, God sent Rev. Daniel Whyte III into my life at the most opportune time. I praise God for him he has helped shape and mold me into the person and/or lady I have become. I admire his wisdom and servitude. He's undeniably a great Shepherd of God who's concerned about the sheep in God's pastures; even those that have strayed away. I'm thankful that Rev. Whyte and his family are obedient to the Spirit and because of this his ministry will continue to flourish.” —J. Neblett Fort Worth, TX

This book is lovingly dedicated to My daughters: Daniella, Danita, Danielle, Danae`, Daniqua and Danyelle, My granddaughter, Kywaizia, My wife, Meriqua, My Mother, Shirley Louise White, My Mother-in-Law, Hermoth Keturah Dixon My sisters: Sheila Martin, Temolynn Wintons, Diane Dixon, and Stephanie White My sons: Daniel IV, Duran and Danyel Ezekiel, who I hope will find good young black women to marry, if that is Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s will for their lives, And to All young black women in America and around the world. 13

In loving memory of two classy black ladies who are now forever young:

Rosa Parks & Coretta Scott-King 15

Letters to Young Black Women CONTENTS Introduction..........................................................19

PART I: On Your Life — Spiritual 1. From My Heart..............................................................35 2. Let God Touch You .......................................................37 3. Let God Hear from You.................................................41 4. Let God Talk to You.......................................................45 5. Let God Love You..........................................................49 6. Let God Be Your All in All............................................53 7. Let God Make You a Woman of Faith...........................57 8. Let God Make You Beautiful from the Inside Out........59 9. Let God Control You......................................................63 10. Let God Encourage You...............................................67 11. Let God Bless and Make You a Success......................69

PART II: On Your Life — Educational 12. On the Importance of Your Early Education................75 13. On Setting Educational Goals...........................................79 14. Get Your Doctorate Degree before Marriage...............83 15. The Marks of a Truly Educated Woman......................87 16. The Power of Reading.................................................91 17. Strive to Know What You Want to Do with Your Life at an Early Age.............................................95 18. Take in a Little Etiquette Along The Way....................99 19. Use Your Education to Help Other People................103 20. Let Your Education Shine Through...........................107 21. Above All, Get Wisdom and Understanding..............111

PART III: On Your Life — As A Young Black Woman 22. Beware of the Dawgs - Part I.....................................117 23. Beware of the Dawgs - Part II...................................125 24. On Not Being a Silly-Minded Woman...................131 25. On Remaining a Virgin Until You Get Married..............139 26. Not Giving In: My Personal Experience, by Joslyn Neblett..........................................................145 27. If You Want to Get Married, Here’s How to Get a Good Man...................................................................149 28. The Case for Never Getting Married.........................155 29. The Kind of Man You Should Not Marry..................159 30. How to Avoid Domestic Violence ...............................163 31. How to Think Like a Man, Yet Be All Woman..........173 32. How to Win At Relationships (And Never Get Hurt).....................................................................177 33. How Not to Become a Victim....................................181 34. 10 Things Some Women Do That Absolutely Turn Men Off..............................................................187 35. Men Folk!.................................................................193 36. Straight Talk about Sex.............................................197 37. The Power of a Consistently Cheerful Spirit and Personality..................................................201 38. Good Girls Always Finish First..................................205 39. And For the Young Women Who Are Already Married, by Meriqua Whyte.........................209 40. Powerful Passages of Scripture Especially for Young Women who are Contemplating Marriage or who are Already Married.........................................215 41. Papa’s Pet Peeves.......................................................219 42. If You Are Hurting.....................................................223 43. A Tribute to My Father, by Daniella Whyte...............227 18

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS F

irst of all, I wish to thank God for allowing me the joy and privilege to do such a work as this. I also wish to thank the readers of the book Letters to Young Black Men, who encouraged me to write this book. I would like to thank my wife, Meriqua, and my daughter, Daniella, for helping me to write this book; my son, Daniel IV for his hard work, advice, and for typesetting this book; my daughters, Danita, Danae`, and Daniqua, for helping to find the quotations and creating the prayers contained in this book; and my two youngest children, Danyel Ezekiel and Danyelle Elizabeth for being good children while I worked on this project. I must especially thank Dr. Melissa Russell, adjunct professor of Languages and Literature at Texas Wesleyan University, for editing the manuscript, and for her encouragement; Charles and Ruth Garrett for proofreading the manuscript, and for being a continuous source of encouragement and support; Bill Hopper of Hopper Graphics for doing such an awesome job on the cover, and for just being a great brother in Christ; and Joslyn Neblett for her wonderful contribution to this book, and for her steadfast encouragement, love, and support. May God bless all of the people, named and unnamed, who were a part in producing this volume.

Letters to Young Black Women INTRODUCTION “The true worth of a race must be measured by the character of its womanhood.” —Mary McLeod Bethune

I am forever amazed at the broad shoulders of black women,

and how God has used them down through the years in this country and beyond, to not only help the black community stay together, but to move us forward as a race — yea, indeed, to even help hold America together, and to move her forward as well. I think about the courage of Harriett Tubman, Ida B. Wells, and Sojourner Truth. I also think about the class, dignity, and toughness of Coretta Scott-King, Rosa Parks and Dorothy Height. I am afraid, however, that these women had something that many of our young black women today simply do not have. I am very concerned for our young black women. In light of the quote above by Mary McLeod Bethune, “The true worth of a race must be measured by the character of its womanhood,” many of our young women today are not expressing the character and the class that the black women 21

of old showed. Many of them have dropped the standards of the past. I remember even when I was a child back in the sixties and seventies, when the young ladies were admonished by the grandmothers, mothers, and aunts to “stop being so fast”: a clear warning that meant to stop carrying yourself like a loose girl. It meant to stop running after boys and to carry yourself like a lady. Well, I haven’t heard that phrase in a long time, and unfortunately, it is showing. Consider with me some horrifying statistics regarding our young women today: ¨ Young black women have the highest teen

pregnancy rate among all races in America (134 per 1,000 women aged 15-19). ¨ AIDS is now the leading cause of death in

African-American women ages 16-34. ¨ Our young women are 7 times more likely to

be depressed and twice as likely to commit suicide than our young men. ¨ The average number of abortions performed

on black women each day in the United States is over 1500. ¨ Slightly over half of all female prisoners are

African American, while this group constitutes just 14 percent of the U.S. population. Besides the painful facts above, what troubles me the most is that more young black women today are allowing themselves to be used, mistreated, and hurt by unscrupulous men who do 22

not care anything for them, and who do not even have the capacity to treat them with love and respect. And what happens is that moral failures that are pleasurable and seem small while doing them, end up impacting the rest of their lives with devastating consequences. I believe this lack of self-respect is what breeds the horrifying statistics above. This book is more about prevention than it is about healing. There are many other great men and women of God who are doing great work in the healing and restoration department for young black women. (We mention some of these individuals and ministries on our â&#x20AC;&#x153;Motherboardâ&#x20AC;? in the back of the book.) I believe that many of the problems that you, as young black women are dealing with today can be prevented from happening in the first place. I also believe that in order for you to be victorious in this life, you must operate from a position of strength and power based upon the Word of God. This book will empower you to win against your enemies: the devil, sorry men, and even yourself. I hope that you will read it and never live a defeated life again. If Black America is to survive and thrive, not only do our young black men need to rise, but our young black women need to rise again. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Daniel Whyte III Irving, Texas

“Women, if the soul of the nation is to be saved, I believe that you must become its soul.” –Coretta Scott-King

“NEVER UNDERESTIMATE A YOUNG BLACK WOMAN.”

—Daniel Whyte III

“NEVER GIVE UP ON A YOUNG BLACK WOMAN — BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW...”

—Daniel Whyte III

“TO BLACK MEN: NEVER AGAIN NEGLECT, MISTREAT, ABUSE OR HURT A YOUNG BLACK WOMAN, BECAUSE SHE WILL NEVER FORGET WHAT YOU DID TO HER.”

—Daniel Whyte III

“IF YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF YOUNG, MA’AM, THEN YOU ARE YOUNG.”

—Daniel Whyte III

ON YOUR LIFE

Spiritual

FROM MY HEART Letter One Dear Daughters & YBW: These letters are written with a full heart, yea, a heart overflowing. What I mean by that is this: I have shared these thoughts and principles with my daughters for years in the presence of my wife, Meriqua. These letters are addressed first to my daughters, and I am just going to open a vein and bleed these loving truths out to you as well. As I begin writing this letter, I am reminded of a book title I read some time ago by the famed Southern author, Lewis Grizzard; it read: Elvis is Dead and I Don’t Feel So Good Myself. Grizzard’s book title aptly describes my current condition, because you see, I now lie in a hospital bed under observation for chest pains, and, as I dictate this book to my daughter, Daniella, I think of Coretta Scott-King’s funeral to be held tomorrow, and Rosa Parks’ funeral that was held just a few days ago. I strongly believe that with the passing of these two great women is the passing of an era of great black women. Very few women, black or white, today, carry themselves with such high standards, class and dignity. I hope that you, young dear sisters, will follow the example of these great women and walk in their footsteps to bring back the standards of old that America so desperately needs. 37

In order to begin to do that, you have to Let God Touch You, and that is what I will deal with in my next letter. From My Heart,

Papa P.S.: Throughout this book, I will refer to Young Black Women as “YBW.” The information contained after my letters are some things that you can take with you throughout your life. Instead of calling them P.S.’s, they will be called P.T.’s for “Power-Thoughts.”

P. T. (Power-Thoughts): ¨ “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.’” —Erma Bombeck

BIBLE GEM: “Take fast hold of instruction; let her not go: keep her; for she is thy life.” —Proverbs 4:13

TALK TO GOD: Lord Jesus, as I read these letters, help me to have an open heart and an open ear to receive Your words of truth and love. Help me to apply all that I read to my life and to be the woman that You want me to be. In Jesus’ precious name. Amen.

BOOK: A Jewel in His Crown - Rediscovering Your Value as a Woman of Excellence, by Priscilla Shirer

CHECK IT OUT: www.goingbeyond.com 38