Community

How single women see themselves

Do you think the themes of Fatal Attraction are so 1987? Aren’t we passed the demented, obsessed single woman destroying the perfect life of the beautiful married man and his put-upon, blameless wife? If you think so, then you have not seen Obsessed. The single woman, played by Ali Larter, doesn’t boil anyone’s pet bunny, but she terrorizes poor Idris Elba and Beyonce in every other imaginable way.

Single people do not fare well in studies of stereotyping and singlism, perhaps in part because of the ways they are portrayed in popular culture. For example, when my colleagues and I asked men and women of all marital statuses to say what comes to mind when they think of single people, here are the characteristics they mentioned most often: 36 percent — Independent 21 percent — Sociable, friendly, fun 17 percent — Lonely 11 percent — Looking for a partner 9 percent — Shy 9 percent — Flirtatious 8 percent — Unhappy

In the current survey, the single women were shown a list of attributes and asked to check the ones they associated with always-single women with no kids between the ages of 30 and 45. (Because they were given a list, the percentages are likely to be higher than in my study, in which people had to generate the characteristics on their own.)

Here are the characteristics single women most often actually ascribe to people like them: 77 percent — Independent 54 percent — Confident 49 percent — Responsible 43 percent — Ambitious 42 percent — Strong-minded 32 percent — Adventurous

They were given the opportunity to endorse qualities such as immature, insecure, dependent, and quick to anger, but mostly declined to do so. Single women are not buying the negative stereotypes that others are trying to sell them. They do, though, know what they are up against. More than half (57 percent) agree that “there’s an expectation from others that you can’t be happy in your 30s or 40s if you’re single.” Actually, it is worse than that. Several studies have shown that single people

Photo by Charlotte May

who say that they like being single are judged more harshly than single people who say they want to be coupled. Other people insist that the single people who like their single lives are less happy than the single people who don’t like their single lives. It is as if they are saying to the happy single people, “You are just saying you are happy; you don’t really mean it.” They express more anger toward the single people who are not complaining about their single lives.

When single women were given a chance to describe what matters to them, they found that marriage wasn’t so important after all. Living on their own, establishing a career, financial security, and even traveling were higher priorities. Traveling was twice as important as having kids, and establishing a career was named as a numberone priority more than four times as often as having kids.

Women “are not sitting around waiting for Mr. Right.” As I could have told them a long time ago, many single women (and men) are living their single lives fully, joyfully, and unapologetically.

Community is a feeling and a set of relationships among people. People form and maintain communities to meet common needs. Members of a good community have a sense of trust, belonging, safety and care for one another.

Women at Texas Federal Prison Test Positive for the Corona Virus

The Bureau of Prisons reported 200 women had tested positive for COVID-19 at FMC Carswell. That number jumped to 510 on Tuesday, giving Carswell the second highest number of cases out of all the country’s federal prisons. Only FCI Seagoville, Texas had more infected inmates, with 1,156 cases as of Tuesday. “We’re like a whole bunch of hamsters in a cage chasing our own tails,” Holli Chapman, an inmate at Carswell, said. As of three weeks ago, only three women had tested positive at the prison since the pandemic began. One of those women, Andrea Circle Bear, died in April. On July 12, 69year-old Sandra Kincaid became the second woman to die . Carswell from the virus. On Monday, Teresa Ely, 51, was the third woman to die. Most of the 1,357 women at Carswell have medical problems and, since April, many inmates have told the Star-Telegram that they feared what would happen if the virus began to spread through the prison.

Carswell’s administration referred questions to the Bureau of Prisons. In a statement, the BOP said it is monitoring coronavirus at all its prisons, including FMC Carswell, and is taking steps to prevent the spread of the virus.

“As with any type of emergency situation, we carefully assess how to best ensure the safety of staff, inmates and the public,” the BOP said. “All of our facilities are implementing the BOP’s guidance on mitigating the spread of COVID-19.”

Multiple women in the prison told the Star-Telegram last week that the prison did not have enough cleaning supplies or personal protection equipment, and that cells are not immediately sanitized after someone tests positive. Inmate Sandra Shoulders described a mountain of mattresses from those who tested positive piling up in a TV room. She said the prison planned on sanitizing the mattresses and reusing them.

Chapman said inmates at Carswell feel “anxious, angry, scared, dehumanized, lied to.” Chapman said they stopped getting two meals a day and instead receive one sack lunch with a cold sandwich inside. “We feel basically abandoned,” she said. “(Officers) are saying they’re doing all this stuff for us, that they’re in here with us. But they’re not the ones in 24hour quarantine, left in a 6-by-6 cell with three other people with 10-minute showers, 10 minutes to be on the phone or email to communicate with their families.”

On July 14, Chapman said the administration handed out printed notices to inmates about what they were doing to stop the spread of the virus. Inmates were told to stay in their

PHOTO BY JUDITH AGUSTI ARANDA

rooms, and masks were handed out for the first time in two months, she said. She said administration wrote at the end of the notice that “we are making every effort to limit cross contamination and appreciate you doing your part.”

Reality Winner also tested positive for the virus, AP News reported. Winner is serving a five-year prison sentence at Carswell for leaking a classified government document to a news agency. The documents discussed Russian meddling in the 2016 presidential election. Winner is a former Air Force translator who worked as a contractor at a National Security Agency office.

A friend shared Winner’s email with the Star-Telegram about testing positive. In the email, Winner said an officer mocked her for testing positive and she has faced retaliation for talking to the media.

“The officer went out of her way to come to my room and say, ‘I just wanted to congratulate you on your positive results,’” Winner wrote.

Winner also said she had not been able to buy basic hygiene products and had not had a hot meal in three weeks. In a statement, the BOP said it is “carefully monitoring the spread of the COVID-19 virus,” and is in Phase 8 of its COVID-19 action plan. The plan is detailed on the agency’s website and includes actions such as limited inmate transfers, increased cleaning and testing and enhanced health screening of staff.

Soap is available throughout institutions and cells, and is able to be purchased through the commissary, the BOP said. In the statement, the BOP did not answer questions about the inmates’ meals or access to other hygiene products. “The BOP follows CDC guidance the same as community doctors and hospitals with regard to quarantine and isolation procedures, along with providing appropriate treatment,” the BOP said in the statement.

Food, Flavor and Recipe’s

Ingredients

1 tbsp. olive oil 1 large onion, finely chopped, plus more for serving Kosher salt 2 cloves garlic, pressed 1 lb. ground turkey 1/2 to 11/2 teaspoons chipotle chile powder 1 tsp. ground cumin 1/2 c. canned tomato sauce 1/2 small head iceberg lettuce, shredded (about 2 cups) 1/4 cup fresh cilantro leaves, roughly chopped 8 hard corn taco shells, warmed 1/2 c. grated extra-sharp Cheddar cheese Sour cream and lime wedges, for serving

Directions

1. Heat oil in large skillet on medium. Add onion and 1/4 teaspoon salt and cook, covered, stirring occasionally, until tender, 6 to 8 minutes. Stir in garlic and cook 1 minute. Add turkey and cook, breaking up into small pieces, 5 minutes. Sprinkle with chipotle powder, cumin, and 1/2 teaspoon salt and cook, continuing to break turkey up, 2 minutes more. Stir in tomato sauce and simmer until slightly thickened, 4 to 5 minutes. In bowl, toss lettuce with cilantro. Fill taco shells with turkey and top with Cheddar, then lettuce. Serve with onion, sour cream, and lime wedges if desired.

Nutrition Information (per serving):

About 425 calories, 24.5 g fat (9 g saturated), 29 g protein, 775 mg sodium, 23 g carbohydrate, 3 g fiber

Ingredients

12 ounces ground turkey 1 medium sweet red pepper, chopped 1 small sweet yellow pepper, chopped 1/3 cup chopped onion 3 garlic cloves, minced 1-1/2 cups salsa 1/2 cup canned kidney beans, rinsed and drained 2 teaspoons chili powder 1 teaspoon ground cumin 8 cups torn romaine 2 tablespoons fresh cilantro leaves Optional toppings: chopped tomatoes, shredded cheddar cheese and crushed tortilla chips

Directions

In a large skillet, cook turkey, peppers, onion, and garlic over medium heat 6-8 minutes or until turkey is no longer pink and vegetables are tender, breaking up turkey into crumbles; drain. Stir in salsa, beans, chili powder and cumin, heat through. Divide romaine among four plates. Top with turkey mixture; sprinkle with cilantro and toppings of your choice. Serve immediately.

Nutrition Informations

1 cup turkey mixture with 2 cups romaine (calculated without optional toppings): 275 calories, 13g fat (4g saturated fat), 58mg cholesterol, 525mg sodium, 21g carbohydrate (7g sugars, 6g fiber), 18g protein.

Diabetic Exchanges: 2 medium-fat meat, 1-1/2 starch.

This spaghetti recipe is light on the sauce, which is more typical of how spaghetti is actually served in Italy. If you would like more sauce, you may want to thin it with water, or add more canned tomatoes to the sauce. Make the sauce and the spaghetti simultaneously. The sauce should be done in the time it takes to heat the pasta water and cook the spaghetti. Feel free to vary the amount of sausage for the sauce. We use anywhere from 1/2 pound to a full pound of Italian sausage, half sweet, half spicy.

INGREDIENTS

• 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil • 1 yellow onion, finely chopped (about 1 1/2 to 2 cups) • 2 cloves garlic, minced (about 2 teaspoons) • 6 ounces (170 g) Italian sweet sausage (or one 7-to-8inch link) • 6 ounces (170 g) Italian hot and spicy sausage (or one 7 to 8-inch link) • 1 large (28 oz, 794 g) can of crushed tomatoes (or purée a can of whole peeled tomatoes) • 1-pound (16 oz, 450 g) spaghetti pasta • Salt • Freshly grated Parmesan cheese

METHOD

1 Sauté onions and garlic: Heat a tablespoon of extra virgin olive oil in a large skillet on medium or medium heat. Add the chopped onion and cook until translucent, about 5 minutes. Add the minced garlic and cook a minute more. 2 Put pasta water on to boil: While the onions are cooking, put a large pot of salted water on to boil for the pasta (4 quarts water, 2 Tbsp salt). 3 Brown the sausage: Remove the cooked onion and garlic from the pan and set aside. Remove the sausage meat from the casings (if your sausage is in links) and add to the pan, breaking up the meat with your fingers as you add it to the pan. Cook on medium heat until just lightly browned. 4 Add tomatoes, onions, garlic: Add crushed or puréed canned tomatoes with their juices to the skillet with the sausage meat. Add the cooked onions and garlic. Heat to a bare simmer. 5 Boil the spaghetti pasta: Once the pasta water has come to a rolling boil, add the spaghetti pasta. Allow the water to return to a rolling boil. Cook, uncovered, with a vigorous boil, for as long as the directions on the pasta package say, usually about 10-12 minutes. When pasta is al dente (cooked but still a little firm), remove the pot from the heat. Drain the pasta and place it in a serving bowl. Serve immediately. Toss with the sauce and garnish with grated Parmesan cheese.

PHOTO BY VALARIE BOLTNEVA

PHOTO BY ADONYI GABOR

Garlic Bread Croissants

YIELD: 8 S E R V I N G S PREP TIME: 1 0 M I N U T E S COOK TIME: 1 0 M I N U T E S TOTAL TIME: 2 0 M I N U T E S

The absolute BEST kind of garlic bread – it’s truly irresistible and you won’t be able to stop eating this until they’re all gone! You haven’t really experienced garlic bread until you’ve tried it in croissant form. Yes, garlic bread exists in many entities – from crescent rolls to French bread, but this form really takes the cake.

INGREDIENTS:

• 6 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted • 2 tablespoons olive oil • 2 tablespoons freshly grated Parmesan • 4 cloves garlic, minced • 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano • 1/2 teaspoon dried basil • 1/4 teaspoon salt • 4 croissants, split lengthwise • 2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley leaves

D I R E C T I O N S :

• Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Lightly oil a baking sheet or coat with nonstick spray. • In a small bowl, whisk together butter, olive oil, Parmesan, garlic, oregano, basil, and salt; set aside. • Place croissant halves cut side up, onto the prepared baking sheet and brush each croissant with half of the butter mixture. Place into oven and bake until golden brown and toasted, about 7-8 minutes. • Serve immediately, brushed with remaining butter mixture, and garnished with parsley, if desired. Bright and crunchy broccoli salads are perfect for anything from a light lunch on a warm day to a barbeque side dish. And they're a great way to get people to eat more vegetables without making a big deal out of it. A delicious broccoli salad that you’ll love preparing. Delicious, quick, and easy to make. I substitute cauliflower with lettuce sometimes.

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 head broccoli, chopped • 1 head cauliflower, chopped • 1 cup mayonnaise • 1 cup sour cream • ½ cup sugar • ½ teaspoon salt • ½ pound bacon, fried and crumbled • 1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese

DIRECTIONS:

• Combine the chopped broccoli and cauliflower in a large bowl. • In a separate bowl, combine the mayonnaise, sour cream, sugar, and salt to make a creamy dressing. • Add the dressing to the broccoli–cauliflower mix, stirring to evenly coat the vegetables. • Stir in the bacon and the cheese, reserving a small amount to sprinkle on top of the salad just before serving.

Enjoy