Children

Potty Training Your 2-Year-Old Made Easy

By Lindsey A.

Potty training at 2 years old is not always simple! Everyone wants to know how to potty train the easy way, but there are endless theories and techniques. This is going to sound absolutely insane…but my 2-year-old daughter potty trained herself. One day she said to me,

“Mama, I no wear diapers. I go on potty now.”

We stared blankly at each other for a few moments and I said:

Ok…let’s go on the potty!

I kid you not, for the first few weeks we had almost NO accidents. And the accidents we did have were when she couldn’t get undressed fast enough and she tinkled a little in her undies.

So, you’re probably wondering, how did you get her ready for potty training at 2 years old?

You can’t potty train a child that isn’t ready to potty train. Instead, you’re just going to cause frustration and power struggles. You may even make your child scared of the potty! Signs your child is ready for potty training • Your child can identify when they have to pee or poop • Your child tells you when they have soiled their diaper • Keeping a dry diaper for long periods of time • Showing interest in the toilet • Showing interest in other people using the toilet • Talking about the potty • Your child does not want to wear diapers anymore • Your child can tell you when they are going pee or poop *Your child may display all or just some of these traits to show they are ready to potty train

Starting the potty-training conversation

We started the conversations about the potty at about 18 months old, and when she was ready, she went for it! When she was around 18 months old, she started expressing interest in the potty. She told me when she was going to go in her diaper, would tell me if it were “tinkles” or “poo poo,” and would promptly want her diaper changed. We gave it a try for a few days, and she ultimately wasn’t ready. I took her to Target and let her pick out some Moana underwear, a potty seat, and a treat for when she went potty. Here and there she’d ask to go potty, but I never ever put pressure on her. I left it completely in her control. Every single time I’d change her diaper I’d say:

Ellie, if you ever want to go on the potty, you just have to let me know. Once you start going on the potty, you don’t have to wear a diaper anymore. You can wear your Moana undies! Let me know if you ever want to try!

She would always respond, “Ok, mama!” and go on her way. Then one day, she simply said, “mama, I no wear diapers. I go

on potty now.”

That was it, folks! She decided she was ready, and we got started. This was the easiest, no tears way to prepare my child for potty training and put her in control of her own body.

What can you do if your child isn’t ready to potty train?

If your child isn’t ready yet, don’t force it! Everyone is ready at their own time. You can encourage readiness by: • Talking about using the toilet when you go (example: “I’m going to the bathroom now because I have to pee! I don’t wear a diaper, so I need to sit on the toilet to go pee.”) • Talking about it when you change your child’s diaper (example: “I see you went poop! I go poop on the potty. If you want to try pooping on the potty next time, tell me before you have to go and you can go on the potty, too!” • Making elimination seem normal and acceptable • Reading books about potty training

Here are some great books bout potty training! Reading to your child about potty training reinforces that it’s normal and an OK thing to try. If you can find a potty-training book with a character your child loves, that’s even better! • A Potty For Me! By Karen Katz, We personally used this book. It’s a lift-the-flap book and discusses how you feel when you need to go and use the potty! • Dino Potty With a cute dinosaur, this rhyming book talks about exactly what to expect when going potty. • P is for Potty (Sesame Street) Any Elmo lovers out there? This life-the-flap book will interest your little Elmo-loving pottytrainer. • Daniel’s Potty Time (Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood)

Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood is one of my favorite children’s shows. This book follows along with the episode to make potty training easy.

Why I chose Child-led potty training

Simply put, I want my daughter to feel like she is in control of her own body. She is a strong-willed child, so I need to respect her personality when raising her! I did not set a timer for 30 minutes and make her sit, I did not make her sit on one potty or another… I let her lead the way entirely.

This is an unconventional potty-training method

I know this is against a lot of “common” potty training methods. You’ll read over and over again to set a timer for 30 minutes, offer lots of praise and reward, let them run around without a diaper on, etc. That method works GREAT for many people. But if you are trying to potty train a stubborn, independent child like my Ellie, that probably will turn into a series of meltdowns and power struggles.

Giving your child control over their body is a great tool to teach them, and it can start with potty training.

And I think that’s why it was so easy! If she tells me she has to go, I trust her. Sometimes she insists she has to go just minutes after she’s already gone, but I let her try anyways.

And I also trust her if she says she doesn’t have to go.

If I noticed that she hadn’t gone potty in a while, I’d suggest she go by saying something like:

Before we do that activity, why don’t we try sitting on the potty! While your lunch is heating up, let’s go tinkles. Are you starting to feel like you have to go potty?? Make sure you let someone know if you feel like you have to use the potty.

Most of the time she would agree to go, but if she flat-out refused to, I would say, “OK, but you may have to go potty soon. Let me know when you’re ready.”

Does this mean we have accidents sometimes? Sure! But if I dragged her to the toilet against her will, she would not go. I tried it a few times, and it was apparent that she was not going to use the toilet if it wasn’t on her terms

Potty training tip: give your child choices when potty training! Potty training can feel very overwhelming to children. What comes naturally to us as adults is actually a huge transition for toddlers. Giving choices reinforces that your child has control! It’s also one of my favorite ways to encourage my children to eat healthy meals.

We have three bathrooms in our house, and we let her pick out a super special potty seat! When it’s time to go potty, we say “which potty do you want to use?!” and she will excitedly pick one! We also made a special trip to the best place on Earth (Target, obviously) to pick out “fancy underwear.”

She now gets to pick between Moana, Frozen, assorted Disney princesses, and unicorns or mermaid undies every morning. I always say, “wow, these are really great underwear! We’ll have to be really careful not to have an accident In these undies!”

What kind of potty seat is best for potty training?

Potty seats that go over the toilet seat are great because they get your child used to the big potty, while still making it child sized. Not only does it make for easier cleanup, but it will be easier to transition using public restrooms or the toilet without the seat when the time comes. Some toddlers are afraid of using the big potty! A smaller potty that sits on the floor like this may be beneficial. Toddlers love to express their autonomy at this age, and by giving choices you are acknowledging that they are capable of making decisions! It makes a huge difference in their attitude about potty training.

How I handled accidents when potty training my 2-year-old

I try very hard not to embarrass or shame my daughter. Most of our accidents happened out of the house (one time at my in-laws she had THREE accidents!!) and it can be really embarrassing. Trying very hard to keep my cool, I’d bring her into the bathroom quietly and tell her that she can always tell an adult if she has to go potty, and we’re going to have to go clean up her mess. Whenever she has accidents, we change back into underwear (not a diaper! Diapers are not punishment!) and I would hand her a towel to clean the mess. When she was finished, I would tell her thank you and then finish cleaning the mess.

Accidents and potty-training regressions are normal

Try not to get overwhelmed or worked up! Potty training regressions and accidents are normal! The most important thing: don’t yell or scream and try not to make a huge deal of it! You don’t want your child to start having accidents as an easy way to get attention, or as a way to assert their authority over yours. I will say, we rarely had accidents. If we did have accidents, it was because we were out of our normal environment where she didn’t want to take a break because she was having so much fun. For the most part, she knew to go on the potty or tell someone to take her! I am confident in her ability to use the potty, and it projects onto her as well!

What to do if your child is scared of the potty

Potty training is a big deal to toddlers. Here are some tips to help!

Acknowledge their fears

Just like adults, toddlers want to be heard. Acknowledge that potty training can seem scary, but that once you get used to it, it isn’t so scary after all!

Role Play: Does your child have a favorite stuffed animal or doll? Practice potty training with a favorite toy! You can start by entering your child’s imaginative space and discuss using the potty with the toy. Ask your child to help you bring the toy to the potty! After your toy is finished, offer lots of praise and talk with your child about how the toy used the potty. Bring your child to the bathroom with you It may seem a bit awkward, but toddlers want to model adult behavior. Bring your child with you to the bathroom so they can see how it’s done!

Try a small training potty

A cute little training potty can help if the big toilet is too intimidating. It looks like an adult toilet which can help your little one get used to the look and feel of a potty, but it’s the perfect size for a toddler! It has a built-in splash guard to prevent any spillage as your little one learns to sit on the potty. It’s small enough that your child can get on and off it independently (and feeling independent and proud is a huge thing at this age!)

Small toilets like these are great to keep in the car, too! This is one of my favorite mom hacks. There will inevitably come a time when you are out somewhere and don’t have immediate access to the bathroom – keep a potty in the car and you won’t get stuck with wet undies!

Remember, potty training is a learned skill, and it takes a lot of practice! Offer a lot of praise, don’t make a huge stink about accidents, and within no time it will be mastered.

Pro tip: put a diaper in the bottom of the pot to catch the pee and throw it in the garbage when you’re done. Easy peasy! Good luck, and happy toilet training!

By Ella Patterson - Published Author and Lindsey A

Do you have a toddler who is frequently crying, throwing tantrums, and engaging in power struggles? If so, you are not alone. There are many reasons that two-year-old’s engage in power struggles and tantrums. Toddlers are becoming more independent but still have to rely on their parents for practically everything. They want to do things by themselves and then get frustrated when they can’t. As they test their own limits, they are learning what they can get away with, and what they cannot. And toddlers have limited language; when this language fails them, they resort to emotional outbursts.

What are parents to do? Children feel most secure when there are clear limits that revolve around health and safety. Although toddlers can scream when they don’t get what they want, they deeply crave structure and rules to keep them safe. Parents must be in charge. But finding the right way to set, and enforce, limits without having power struggles is not an easy thing.

Here are some tips that may help: 1. Be flexible. When setting and enforcing limits don’t become too rigid. Be willing to bend a little. For example, if your toddler does not want to leave the park right away, give her an extra five minutes. Maybe even give two more minutes after that. 2. Make sure you can enforce your limit. If you are not certain you can make your child comply, think twice before setting your limit. Look into the future and envision what you will do if your child refuses. Enforcement may involve picking your child up and putting him in his car seat, despite the tantrum. When you know how to make your child comply, your voice and tone will carry more weight. 3. Pick your battles. There are many things that you cannot let your toddler do for health and safety reasons. But other things may not be worth a fight. Examine why you are setting the limit and remember “less is more”. The less battles, the less your child gets into the habit of having power struggles. 4. Only have a few rules. Two-year-old’s cannot grasp a long list of rules, so keep it simple and stick to the big ones: Don’t hurt others. Don’t do things that are unsafe. And follow a routine and schedule that keeps you healthy. 5. Listen and explain. When your child resists, listen to what he wants (or does not want). Then repeat this back to him in your own words. Finally explain why you have

PHOTO BY MARTIN PATTERSON III

set your limit. When toddlers feel understood they are a lot more accommodating. 6. Create an environment that decreases power struggles. If toys are scattered everywhere, a child often feels out of control. A neat, organized home, with less toys, can reduce power struggles. Try it… 7. Provide opportunities to be powerful. Are there chores that your toddler can do to help out? Give lots of praise. A two-year old wants to feel important, powerful, and useful. 8. Give advance warnings. Tantrums and struggles often happen during transitions. If they are too abrupt, they can cause a meltdown. I like to give plenty of warnings that things are about to change. For example: “We are having lunch in ten minutes get ready to finish your puzzle”. 9. Look for root causes. It is helpful to know why your toddler is having a tantrum. Is she hungry, tired, cold, or bored? This helps you have more compassion and also lets you solve the problem faster.

I hope these are helpful. Good luck and remember your child will soon outgrow this stage.