Chapter 48: The Cotillion Cavern

Chapter 48: The Cotillion Cavern

(Binky Lemontwist, June 5th, 2012)

This place in the House is not to be trifled with. It is not for the faint-hearted, or the weak, or the cowardly, or the clumsy. This cavernous room is the embodiment of danger.

The floor has trapdoors opening at the end of every third waltz. The drinks are randomly tainted with any of the following: Alcohol, cranberry juice, dragon spit, paralyzing poison, truth serum, sleep syrup, pure caffeine, and other additives. The chandeliers are decorated with daggers hanging by slowlydisintegrating threads. The music may sometimes cause your eardrums to burst. The air conditioning vents occasionally expell laughing gas.

On the bright side, those who survive the cotillion are given a treasure chest full of any combination of the following along with a map of the secret tunnels and shortcuts of the House: discounts for the Salon, rubies, an egg of a giant sea rooster, ropes of diamond, jet packs, a TARDIS69, hallucination inducers, a cryogenics manual, golden daggers, a pair of silver earrings, and/ or a portal to Mars.

69

TARDISes are advanced, intelligent, dimensionally-transcendental space-time vessels featured primarily in the Doctor Who series.