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SATURDAY, MAY 30, 2015° WWW.LIVEMINT.COM
UNPLUG | NATASHA BADHWAR
A TECHNOLOGY ‘CHOWKIDAR’ AT HOME
If you want creative pauses, daydreaming and imaginary friends for your child, keep out superfluous technology NATASHA BADHWAR
Reconnect: ‘It’s not so much the technology as it is the onslaught of manipulative and mindless content that we reject’.
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Mamma, you are checking your phone like I put my thumb in my mouth,” said my six-year-old daughter. Both of us are sitting on the floor putting a 200-piece jigsaw puzzle together. She is right. Bang on. My smartphone is my pacifier. I check my phone compulsively when I am stressed, when I want to disappear. Something else is on my mind right now, and the mild frustration of having to pay full attention to the moment I am in is making me reach for my drink. I mean my smartphone. Behind the shiny surface and multiple apps on my iPhone is dull and infuriating content interspersed with some shiny, sparkly, funny stuff. I am addicted to searching for it on the random timelines of my Facebook and Twitter profiles. It is my drug. I am not overtly stressed. Perhaps something or someone is coming on too strong and I feel vulnerable. Perhaps I am overcommitted. I have not aced time management. I want to vanish. Not be here or there. I want to be online, where I can be connected to people who are not here, so I can temporarily disconnect from the people who are physically here. I browse on my smartphone a lot less when I am alone. I reach for it a lot more when there are lots of people at home. Sometimes it really is like the stiff drink I
might have hidden behind the houseplants. I take a quick sip to keep the buzz in my head. My husband often calls himself a Luddite. Afzal uses his iPhone only to make phone calls. Besides the car and his phone, the gadget he uses the most on any given day is usually the electric mosquito swatter. Have you ever used one? The crackly sound of a mosquito being electrocuted in mid-flight is addictive. Even mosquitoes are drawn to it, I think. We got rid of television in our home in the early years of our marriage. Between work, home, babies and guests, I had no time for it. My work involved creating and watching television all the time. I didn’t need more of the same at home. If it was ever switched on at home, Afzal would stare at the TV screen like a deer trapped in headlights. Out of sight, out of mind worked for us when we were home together. Despite my own intense love relationship with gadgets—computer, cameras, smartphone and the minielectric food chopper—I am the selfappointed tech chowkidar (watchman) in our home. I am the security guard who moderates the access of technology to our family spaces. In the process of making checks, I often summarily delay the entry of bona fide candidates. My first iPhone lay in its case for over a year before I got a SIM card for it. Our children were still babies, and I knew that I must delay this inevitable love affair. Sometimes I am compelled to confiscate the latest gadget and keep it only for myself. Purely for professional reasons, of course. As a parent, it is critical for me to keep superfluous technology out of our lives. There are so many of us already in our home: three busy children under the age of 13 and two grown-up children masquerading as their parents. We barely listen to each other. We are often way behind in keeping track of each other’s creative milestones. Someone has learnt a new poem, another has made a drawing or taken a photograph, a third has had a dramatic encounter with someone new, and we all need some time to share our experiences with each other.
WE ARE FREE TO DISCOVER AND RELATE WITH OUR INNER AND OUTER WORLD AT OUR OWN PACE. WE CAN PICK AND CHOOSE
So we do things that may seem odd to other families. We are an iPad-free home. We don’t have a cable TV connection. We have no video game consoles. Till four months ago we did not have Wi-Fi at home. I used a slow and fragile dongle to dial-up when I needed to. We don’t watch the latest films. None of us has seen an Indian Premier League match. We go to doctors’ waiting rooms and ask for the TV remote first. We switch from the usual news channel to wildlife programming. We watch films and videos of our choice on DVDs and via pen drives. No advertisements play in our home. It’s not so much the technology as it is the onslaught of manipulative and mindless content that we reject. None of us can recognize Taylor Swift, Rohit Sharma or Sunny Leone (I had to google a few keywords to recall Rohit and Sunny’s names for this sentence). No one in my family can tell you what “GoT” stands for. We miss entire trends sometimes, but they die out so soon that you wouldn’t really find out that we did not know what you thought we must have known when it was the thing to know. We seem as smart and well-informed as our peers. It has not been very difficult to pull this off. Let me throw in some jargon. I do not want us to be a family of Western consumerist culture addicted anglophones. We don’t want to find ourselves scavenging for comfort amid the clutter and the garbage of physical and digital possessions that have no shelf value. I want variety in our lives. Slowness. Pauses. Daydreaming and imaginary friends. I don’t want to prepare our children for the “real world”. I want us and them to know that we can create the world we want to live in. We don’t have to fit into pre-fabricated moulds. We are free to discover and relate with our inner and outer world at our own pace. We can pick and choose. This is real life. Two weeks ago we attended a live music concert in New Delhi at which Harpreet, a young musician, sang soulful Punjabi folk and semi-classical songs to mark the release of his first album, Ajab
Ishq Maati Da. Our children had not been entirely convinced that they wanted to attend this. Their grandparents’ home where they could play video games and watch TV had seemed more attractive and relaxing. There was no iPad in the car as we negotiated rush-hour traffic to reach the venue. The children did not have smartphones to fiddle with as we took our seats and waited for the programme to start. They sat among strangers and adults and waited for the lights to dim and the music to start. We stayed connected and attentive to each other. In the last two weeks, Aliza, our 10year-old DJ, has repeatedly chosen to play the same songs by Harpreet in the car and at home. It is not “cool” to be hooked to this music at their age, but the act of hearing it live has touched them. They engage with the lyrics, the vocals and the guitar riffs. Could I have planned this deep connect between the children and this music? Did I know what the outcome would be when I was being the ruthless chowkidar and controlling everyone’s choices? I didn’t, but I still take the risk of boring them regularly with the confidence that lying fallow will lead to fertile. Learning takes time. Don’t give up your ownership and entitlement over your own time. Less is more. It allows us to engage deeply with what we have chosen rather than skimming over things because there is too much to catch up with. When we create the deliberate absence of easy distractions in our children’s life, it means that we have to fill these spaces with our own presence. We entertain each other. We create and perform the content that would otherwise be available via gadgets. It means that I have to be my own watchman. I switch off notifications and put away my own smartphone. This was my plan all along. Natasha Badhwar is a film-maker, media trainer and mother of three. She writes a fortnightly column on family and relationships. Write to Natasha at natasha.badhwar@gmail.com
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SATURDAY, MAY 30, 2015° WWW.LIVEMINT.COM
SURF | ABHIMANYU RADHAKRISHNAN
TODDLERS ON THE TUBE
Move over Justin Bieber, princess dolls and nursery rhymes are the new media moguls of the YouTube universe
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Back in January, I read a report on the top YouTube channels by way of estimated income from advertising, and my first reaction was that of relief followed by bitter jealousy. Occupying the top of the chart was no media mogul or even Gangnam-style Psy-cho. Instead it was a pair of hands with outrageously painted fingernails that I was well acquainted with, thanks to my threeyear-old daughter. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the entity ringing in the most moolah on the idiot box 2.0 is the YouTube channel DisneyCollectorBR, whose target audience is toddlers around the world deciding what video on demand most interests them. The channel is essentially dedicated to toy reviews—not just Disney but everything from Angry Birds to Kinder Joy Easter eggs. In the best traditions of the “Internets”, its No.1 hit video is titled Play Doh Sparkle Princess Ariel Elsa Anna Disney Frozen MagiClip Glitter Glider Princesas Magic Clip. This weird mash-up of clumsy search engine optimization and “Spanglish” has alone racked up around 275 million views, which is incredible even accounting for the channel’s 4.5 million subscribers. By way of comparison, our desi comedy troupe AIB boasts 1.1 million subscribers, but has just over 10 million views for its top video—the one featuring actress Alia Bhatt in a sporting parody of herself. The hit video features the hands of a woman, “Disney Collector”, playing with
Trending: Toddler favourites on the Internet defy logic.
a bunch of “princess” dolls from the Disney pantheon. She removes their plastic clip-on dresses and replaces them with Play-Doh brand putty, moulding them into gown shapes while offering, even by three-year-old standards, fairly banal running commentary. Why on earth, I think, would this be more interesting than actually watching the cartoons themselves? Note that my daughter discovered these on her own— she’d typically be handed a phone or tablet with a video, usually semieducational, already loaded. At the end of the video selected by her parents though, “related videos” would be suggested by YouTube and given that she can’t read, her finger obviously tapped on the image that appealed to her most—princess toys. I asked a former TV industry colleague, Sameer Pitalwalla, who now runs an online MCN (multi-channel network) Culture Machine, what the deal is. “A large part of growing up is playing with toys, which can be a solitary experience for many kids,” he says. “Such kind of programming provides a social experience, a water cooler around which a kid can watch and interact with other kids and their experiences, and be inspired to create his (or her) own”. And creating they are. A host of copycats has quickly sprung up in the “toy review” genre, including eight-year-old Evan (/EvanTubeHD, 1.4 million subscribers), who unlike Disney Collector appears in person and often features his family members. I started by saying that I was relieved at first—this statistic clearly exposed the hypocrisy of modern parenting. Every third article shared on Facebook is related to some new study linking toddler media consumption to the future stock prices of the companies they’ll eventually join. Yet the reality of these YouTube numbers clearly suggests that parents all over the world are happy to give their children a device every now
and then for some temporary sanity. My wife and I now wouldn’t have to feel too guilty handing the iPad during a flight, road trip or occasional difficult meal session. The rest of the world clearly seems to be doing so as well. The mammoth number of views for the “nursery rhyme” genre further supports the view. Samir Bangara, co-founder of Qyuki, an MCN, brings my attention to ChuChu TV Kids Songs based out of Chennai, which, with around 250 million views a month, is among the largest channels in the Apac (Asia-Pacific) region. I ask him why he can’t get his cofounders—film-maker Shekhar Kapur and composer A.R. Rahman—to collaborate on a similar nursery rhyme video and replicate the success. Bangara is polite in his scepticism. “Many companies attack the same space but the secret sauce is just that—a secret sauce— that’s hard to pin point and even harder to replicate”, he says. “The collective intelligence of thousands of creative people is at work here and through that emerges a new format that gets to the core of what is absolutely engaging.” That’s precisely where my jealousy comes in. In a former avatar as TV producer, I remember the endless nights spent on edit shifts crafting “good television” as taught in journalism school, the keen eye needed to spot “colour correction” and the sheer amount of professional skill that went into camerawork, sound, postproduction and graphics. All that work to make a living and provide our offspring with a comfortable life that ostensibly includes YouTube access. Well, thanks to millions like my daughter, unedited videos of dolls and soft toys, shot off an iPhone, with barely intelligible voiceovers, made an estimated $5 million (`31.5 crore) last year. Abhimanyu Radhakrishnan writes and hosts TV shows on technology. Write to lounge@livemint.com
MONITOR | VISHAL MATHUR
DIGITAL NANNIES
advertisements and adds a birthday tracker, among other things.
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LIFE360 iPhone/iPad, Android, Windows Phone; Free; www.life360.com If you’re constantly worried about where the children or elderly members of your family are, there is an app for that. Life360 allows every member of the family to keep tabs on the whereabouts of others via a constantly updated family map. So you don’t have to bother your loved ones with constant messages. Life360 also has a built-in group chat feature and sends updates to users when a family member checks in at a destination.
Monitoring children’s studies, making them do their homework or reminding elderly family members to take their medication—young parents have a tough time managing their families. Here are some easy-to-use apps that can help.
COZI iPhone/iPad, Android and Windows 8.1; Free (basic) and $29.99 (around `1,900) per year (Gold); www.cozi.com Available on phones, tablets and computers, Cozi is a calendar that can be shared within the family. You can also share and manage shopping lists and the timetable for the next family vacation; you can even share recipes. The Gold version removes all in-app
Five apps that parents can use to keep tabs on their children
HOMEROUTINES
App it up: Go to WebMD for health issues; and (right) stay connected with Life360.
iPhone/iPad; $4.99; www.homeroutines.com This is an app for parents who want to involve their children in the household chores. The parent creates a list of tasks to be done, and the chores are broken down into morning and evening chores for each day of the week. The app will send the children pop-up reminders to do their chores. You can
make doing chores fun by setting a speed challenge and letting your children compete. MYHOMEWORK iPhone/iPad, Android, Windows 8, Chrome app, Web browser; Free (basic); $4.99 per year (Premium); www.myhomeworkapp.com Students, parents and teachers can keep track of school homework, projects and assignments and get due date reminders. The tasks can be colour-coded, which makes it easier to prioritize.
WEBMD iPhone/iPad and Android; Free; www.webmd.com WebMD helps you learn more about ailments with its Symptom Checker feature. Once you have been prescribed medicines, you can feed the medication data into the app and it will remind you when it is time to take your medicines. It’s a good app to have on your phone if there are elders at home who take daily medication. vishal.m@livemint.com
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SATURDAY, MAY 30, 2015° WWW.LIVEMINT.COM
COOK | SUMANA MUKHERJEE
THE AGE OF THE FOODSCAPE
Social media has changed the image of kitchen work, and now every member of the family wants to make that delicious meal, as seen on Instagram HEMANT MISHRA/MINT
Instafood: Keya Matthew at work, with iPad in one hand, in the kitchen along with her family.
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For several days after their class X results, the Gafoor residence in Cooke Town, Bengaluru, was the hangout of choice for a bunch of friends from Bishop Cotton Girls’ School. “They were all here for Zahan’s food. They know Zahan as their friend Samreen’s brother and their junior in the boys’ school; they know he cooks and they love whatever he makes, be it banana pancakes or pizza from scratch,” laughs Michelle Gafoor, Zahan’s mum. With all the nonchalance of a 14-yearold, Zahan refuses to believe he’s doing anything noteworthy and will only say he enjoys cooking for his sister, “who’s so fussy about what she eats. And, actually, anyone who’s hungry”. That’s the way it began for him three years ago: When he got bored of the Mangalorean staples at home and took to cooking food to his own tastes. “Initially, he wouldn’t share anything he cooked!” says his father Aslam. “But that has changed with time.” Zahan is taught by technology. An early convert to the MasterChef Australia series on television, he graduated quickly to googling recipes and videos. “TV opened my eyes to products and dishes that are not part of our everyday life. And on YouTube you not only get a recipe, but also a live demo of the making of the dish; that takes away any uncertainty I may have,” he says. “I don’t have a favourite channel or chef, though I like Jamie Oliver, Nigella Lawson, Gordon Ramsay: I simply google, follow different links, put together the information and do my own thing. I learnt to make things as varied as bread rolls, Pad Thai and lasagne from YouTube.” Just like Twenty20 cricket seems madeto-order for television advertisers, so does
food as a component of life appear to have evolved for the age of visual media, be it called Instagram or YouTube—no matter that it loses its tactile, aromatic or auditory appeal in the process. While seemingly future-ready appliances such as air-fryers (dressed up mini-convection ovens, really) are commonplace in urban Indian kitchens today, it is the manner in which these spaces have transformed into a global stage—and all its men and women merely players—that tells a story. From a private deed of sustenance to oversharing, from an intensely rooted act of creation to one that browses the world, technology plugs the holes, makes the connections and invites everyone to dinner. At a more intimate level, it tests and stretches families to accommodate the upheavals brought about by sharing and its near-cousin, competition. Alongside his parents, the youngest Gafoor now has his own shopping list (for ingredients and tools such as knives and spatulas) at home and on holidays abroad, me-time in the kitchen, demarcated shelf-space in the fridge for his herbs and rubs and a fan-following among family and friends. His home-based entrepreneur mother, Michelle, admits to being quite relieved if her son takes over her lunch duties. Zahan will often cook their afternoon meal before leaving for school, or put something together after coming back and Aslam is more than happy to help him with the barbeque. For his 16-yearold sister, Michelle says, “He’s a hero; she is forever telling her friends, ‘come home, my brother’s cooking’!” In keeping with their belief that saying “don’t” to children only encourages them to defy and do, the Gafoors do not restrict Zahan’s screen-time; he watches television with his family and accesses the Internet on his hand-me-down iPhone and iPad.
FROM A PRIVATE DEED OF SUSTENANCE TO OVERSHARING... TECHNOLOGY PLUGS THE HOLES, MAKES THE CONNECTIONS AND INVITES EVERYONE TO DINNER
“Ever since Zahan started cooking, our intake of junk food has come down significantly. We’ll still order in the occasional pizza, but he now knows what real food tastes like and refuses to let any of us eat at McDonald’s,” says Michelle. “Also, a child cooking brings people together. When I’m in the kitchen, no one turns a hair but if Zahan is, there’s always someone to help him chop onion or garlic or just clean up after him.” Zahan’s is not a unique story but, in many ways, it illustrates the shift that technology in the food space has wrought in the Indian family system. It challenges traditional notions—the role of the adult as provider/nurturer, the taboo on the male child in the kitchen—gifts families a new grammar for bonding, provides scope for instilling of values and life-skills, pushes the boundaries of creative expression (alongside, say, art or music) and possibly even decides career paths. Consider Keya Matthew. The 15-yearold student of Mallya Aditi International School, Bengaluru, loves online cooking sites “where there are always people who provide comments and advice if a recipe does not come out well”. She hopes to combine her kitchen skills with her school course on food and nutrition, and her love for literature and French “to do something in future. I am still not sure what that would be though!” That is not to say, of course, that children are leading the change here; they are the outcome of a shift in family dynamics underway for years now. The seeds were sown with the “apartmentalization” of the Indian family,
which brought the kitchen into the heart of the home, rescuing it from the obscure outhouse in old-style homesteads. The next big game-changer was social media. The “visibilization” of the cooking process, so to say, could not be limited to merely witnessing the act of cooking itself; it had to be projected as an envyworthy definer in social media. “From a negative, kitchen work is now seen as a constructive, creative engagement,” says G.K. Karanth, a national fellow at the Indian Council for Social Science Research. Sobin George, assistant professor of sociology at the Institute for Social and Economic Change, Bengaluru, goes a step further to highlight the degendering of domestic work. “In urban middle-class families, the parents now carry out interchangeable roles. If earlier, in role-play in school, a boy would depict his father reading his newspaper or driving a car, it’s not uncommon for the child to now show him cooking.” Karanth, who has just completed a study on the eating out/dining in phenomenon in India in association with the University of Lausanne, Switzerland, believes food in the time of social media has ceased to be an element of communication; it has evolved into the medium of communication. “Food has become a ‘scape’—‘foodscape’, like landscape, with its own language that conveys volumes with simple three-letter words, like ‘yum’ or ‘wow’,” he says. “The days of the single-vessel family where everyone ate the same thing are over; there is a diversification of taste buds today. In fact, the more successful the family, the fewer the numbers at the dining table.” Does that mean cellphones at the dinner table are kosher? Karanth sidesteps a direct answer but states obliquely that aspiration today is not defined by keeping up with the Joneses, but being the Joneses—which shoehorns neatly into the ideas of social media. It is no longer enough to break bread with the family, you need to share that elemental act—you have food! you have family!— instantly with your followers to establish who’s the leader. Validating the sociologist’s observation of the successful family being the one whose members are doing their own thing is the phenomenal success of the app- or website-driven start-ups supplying a range of products from the ever-popular “fresh lunches, tasty dinners and all-day eats” to cook-on-demand services in tech hubs like Hyderabad and Gurgaon, near Delhi. By some accounts, the size of the “foodtech” market is around $14 billion (around `88,200 crore); others believe it is growing at 30% per year. The consumer base, interestingly, is not comprised exclusively of starving-and-single office-goers, but also working couples who cannot or do not cook at home. Be it the delivery start-up or the chefplay at home, a remarkable change brought about by technology in the food space is the expansion of the culinary repertoire of the average urban Indian home. If Zahan improves on Nigella’s lasagne, or your next-door neighbour whips up an all-American apple pie, the office-goer could be downing a chermoula cottage cheese steak or a grilled chicken fajita— dishes that would perhaps have been alien to their grandparents, if not their parents. “Popular food shows and channels like Fox Life have tremendous influence (on Indian audiences),” says George. “In supermarkets, we see young people shop for non-Indian ingredients such as olive oil or celery or broccoli. It’s a great way to understand other cultures, since (foreign) food is nothing but somebody (else)’s culture.” Since no one’s lamenting the death of Indian foods just yet, perhaps it’s a sign that tolerance begins at the table. sumana.m@livemint.com
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SATURDAY, MAY 30, 2015° WWW.LIVEMINT.COM
DRIVE | VISHAL MATHUR
EASY RIDERS
Planning on buying a car that’s safe for joyrides with the family? Keep an eye out for features like multiple airbags, impact beams and emergencycalling options
Up to date: Airbags and infotainment systems are essential in a family car.
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Imagine driving on bumpy and potholed roads on a family trip to some fort in a remote village in Rajasthan. Not a pleasant image, right? When it comes to buying a car for the family, there can be no compromise on safety and comfort. All the better if it is versatile and equally adept at ferrying you every day from home to work. Some of the things you should consider beforehand are whether the car has airbags, an efficient braking system and stability, and add-ons such as GPS navigation. If you are buying a hatchback or a sedan, the right ground clearance—the distance between the underside of a car and the road—is essential (anything above 170mm); a car too low will get damaged on uneven roads and also increase the chances of the passengers getting a back or neck injury. We shortlist some of the safest and most versatile cars you can buy in India right now for less than `20 lakh. HATCHBACK
HYUNDAI i20 ACTIVE Among all the hatchbacks being sold in India, Hyundai i20 Active has the maximum ground clearance, at 190mm, and is perfect for rough roads. It easily beats competitors such as the Volkswagen Polo, which sits 165mm above the tarmac. The i20 Active packs in projector headlamps,
and maps with voice navigation. The audio and phone controls are intuitively placed so that the driver can operate them with his right hand and does not need to look away from the steering wheel. All three rows get 12V power sockets, so that people can charge their phones easily. The Lodgy also has two airbags, parking assistance and keyless entry. It is perfect for big families. Which model to buy? The Lodgy 85 PS RxZ (`10.9 lakh). SUV
MAHINDRA XUV500
LED lamps positioning, cornering lights and daytime-running lights (DRLs). It has anti-lock braking system (ABS) and dual airbags. The Headlamp escort function allows you to keep the headlights switched on for a limited time after the car is locked to illuminate the path you are walking on in a dark location. This is the most kitted-out hatchback in India right now, but lacks a GPS navigation system. Which model to buy? The 1.2L Kappa Dual VTVT 5-Speed Manual S (`7.1 lakh) and the 1.4L U2 CRDi 6-Speed Manual SX (`8.9 lakh). SEDAN
MARUTI SUZUKI CIAZ The Ciaz has been built with lightweight high-tensile steel, which is not only lighter than the material used in other sedans, but also stronger. Not many sedans in India offer integrated navigation, but Maruti’s SmartPlay infotainment system does, and a complete voice navigation at that. It has many preloaded points of interest: banks, petrol pumps, restaurants, etc.; you can search for home addresses; and the Maruti service centre database is available at a touch. At 170mm, this car has higher ground clearance than the Honda City (165mm), which means more peace of mind while
dodging potholes. Which model to buy? The ZXi+ (around `9 lakh) and ZDi+ (`10.3 lakh) CROSSOVER
FORD ECOSPORT
WHEN BUYING A HATCHBACK OR A SEDAN, THE RIGHT GROUND CLEARANCE IS ESSENTIAL; A CAR TOO LOW WILL GET DAMAGED ON UNEVEN ROADS
The 2015 edition of the EcoSport has an updated SYNC infotainment system that allows selected smartphone apps, such as Espncricinfo’s app and MapmyIndia’s Explore, to provide information via voice readouts. The whole family can stay updated on cricket scores and other information without individuals having to stay glued to their phones. SYNC can also answer phone calls and change music tracks via voice commands. In case the car meets with an accident, it automatically calls Ford’s Emergency Assistance service and communicates the GPS coordinates. Which model to buy? The 1.0L Petrol EcoBoost Titanium (`9.14 lakh) and 1.5 TiVCT Petrol Titanium/1.5 TDCi Diesel Titanium (`10.2 lakh). MUV
RENAULT LODGY The French car maker Renault singlehandedly created the multi-utility vehicle (MUV) category in Europe, with the popular Espace. The Lodgy packs in a touch-screen MediaNav infotainment system that offers smartphone pairing, media playback
The XUV500 is a no-compromise sport utility vehicle (SUV). It has six airbags and electronic stability protection that prevents it from rolling over. The impact beams—hidden inside the doors, frame, pillars, etc.—absorb the maximum impact during a crash. The new 7-inch infotainment system includes complete navigation features and now includes voice warnings: “door open”, “handbrake engaged” and “seat belt not deployed”. The Driver Information System provides vital information, such as how far the remaining amount of fuel can take you, and the air pressure and temperature of each tyre. The infotainment system even controls the cabin temperature. Which model to buy? The W8 FWD (`14.2 lakh) and W10 AWD (around `16 lakh). PREMIUM SEDAN
HYUNDAI 2015 ELANTRA This is the safest sedan you can buy in India at the moment. It comes with six airbags, electronic stability control (ESC) and vehicle stability management (VSM), and it is made of ultra-high tensile-strength steel. The Elantra does not lack in comfort either. The driver and front passenger seats can be heated and cooled, and there is a cluster ionizer that improves the quality of air inside the cabin. Which model to buy? The 1.8L Dual VTVT 6-Speed Manual SX (`15.4 lakh) and 1.6L CRDi VGT 6-Speed Manual SX (`16.7 lakh). vishal.m@livemint.com
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TALK | DHAMINI RATNAM
GENERATION APP
As the number of aged living alone soars, technology helps keep loneliness at bay ANIRUDDHA CHOWDHURY/MINT
Long distance: Sophia, Shantanu and their daughter Teesta FaceTiming with family mem bers; and (below) Seetha Subramanian.
COURTESY SHILPA GOPAL
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Bilashini Devi, 56, puts her son’s iPhone against the jam bottle as she passes on a buttered toast to her 36year-old son Lenin Wangkhem. She takes the phone in her hand and peers into it to see if her grand-daughter, eight-year-old Teesta Bhattacharya, is eating her breakfast—a bowl of cereal. Across the table, Bilashani’s second son, 29-year-old Sunny, asks for the phone. He wants to ask his niece about her squash lessons, and tells her to send him a video of a practice session. Teesta laughs as her favourite uncle imitates a slam with a slice of bread. Teesta’s mother, 39-year-old Sophia Wangkhem, who lives in Mumbai’s suburban Powai, looks at the clock on the living room wall and tells her daughter to end the call—made over the iPhone’s video-calling app, FaceTime. Taking hold of her iPhone from where she has dialled in, Sophia says a hurried goodbye to her mother and brothers. It’s the start of another day for the Wangkhem family: At 8am, Sunny and Lenin will open their electronics showroom located in Imphal’s Thangal Bazaar on MG Road, and after dropping Teesta to school at 8.10am, Sophia will head to her office in Andheri (East). In the past two years, the video call has been a daily fixture for the family spread across two states. Besides the breakfast call, Sophia keeps in touch with her mother and brothers over WhatsApp, a text messaging and call application. They share photos and videos throughout the day. Almost
every weekday evening they use Skype, a video-calling application, or FaceTime to have a more leisurely chat. “I have always shared everything with my mother,” says Sophia, who moved to Mumbai 11 years ago after her marriage. “She always impressed upon us, my brothers and I, while we were growing up that friends may come and go, but family will always be there.” Sophia’s multi-city family experience is a growing reality of India. According to a 2011 report titled Situational Analysis Of The Elderly In India brought out by the Central Statistics Office of the ministry of statistics and programme implementation, using figures collected by the National Sample Survey Organisation in as far back as 2004, 36.9% of aged persons in India have children/grandchildren or siblings that live in the same town or village as them, but occupy separate homes; 29.4% of aged persons live alone or with spouse, while their child/grandchild or sibling live outside their village or town. Less than 20% of aged men and about 10% of aged women live with their children. In such a scenario, Skype, WhatsApp, and other Internet-based video-calling and messaging services are changing the landscape of interaction between families that live, like the Wangkhems, in multiple cities. Helping them through this revolution are other younger friends, relatives or neighbours who are happy to drop in to set up their smartphones, or install apps that would help them communicate. Sophia’s mother-in-law, who lives with her 72-year-old husband in Kolkata, asked her friend’s daughter to help her set up Skype on her smartphone that her daughter (Sophia’s sister-in-law, who lives in Pune) shipped across to her three months ago. Since then, 65-year-old Tapati Bhattacharya has been in regular contact with her 42-year-old son, Shantanu, and 36-year-old daughter, Srobona Chiravuri. Shantanu Bhattacharya, who works for a multinational in Pune and travels to Mumbai to spend the weekends with Sophia and Teesta, admits that he wasn’t sure at first if his mother would be able to master the video-calling app. “I wondered how to bring Internet into my parents’ lives. I assumed they wouldn’t know how to do it, but that
...SOCIAL CAMPAIGN WEBSITE DOSOMETHING. ORG PUT TOGETHER A HELPFUL GUIDE FOR TEENAGERS TO TUTOR THEIR GRANDPARENTS...
was my mental block. I should have known better.” Her learning curve wasn’t without mistakes—all part of the process of experiential learning, says Shantanu, who bought an iPad four years ago and watched his daughter, then 5, take to it effortlessly. Tapati, however, changed the language setting on her smartphone, and was unable to return it to English (“She had to reset her phone”) and didn’t know how to export contacts from her earlier handset. But, after a few initial hiccups, Tapati began to settle into a nice routine of Skype calls with her son over the weekends. Through the work week, she asks him to send photographs of himself. Shantanu, though not one for selfies, obliges most happily. For those who may find it difficult to travel to their children’s homes, apps that allow video calling and sharing photographs take on an added significance, says 78-year-old Seetha Subramanian. The Thrissur resident, who too lives alone with her 85-year-old husband, recently “attended” one such wedding in the family through WhatsApp. Her 38-year-old granddaughter, Sukanya Venkatraghavan, went for the wedding that was held in Mumbai, and kept her grandmother happy with a steady stream of photographs. “Sukanya keeps sending me photographs of herself, like when she buys a new dress for herself, she sends me a photo of her in it,” says Subramanian with glee. “My grandmother likes to know what’s going on in our lives,” laughs Venkatraghavan, who has promised to teach her how to use the calling function of WhatsApp when she visits next month. Subramanian had an early head start. Her son, 57-year-old Gopal Subramanian, who moved to the US in the late 1980s, set up her email account in 1999. And while Subramanian has been visiting Gopal regularly, once every two years, she recalls the preemail days where she would place an international call to him every fortnight. Now, they are in regular touch over email, besides speaking over the phone. She also enjoys playing chess and Candy Crush Saga on her new tablet, which Gopal couriered to her a year ago. “So many people are doing this. I want to, as well. I have a desire to learn new things,” Subramanian explains. Sophia is struck by the speed with
which her mother has taken to WhatsApp. “I still get weird text messages from my mother, thanks to auto-correct, but she often sends me photos and expects immediate responses,” says Sophia, giving the example of how her mother recently sent a photograph of a pair of earrings to ask if she liked them. Bilashani texted her to reply immediately, as she was in the jewellery shop and wanted Sophia to give her the go-ahead. For the likes of Subramanian, Bilashini Devi, and Tapati, the desire to “be present” in their children and grandchildren’s lives drove them to learn how to operate the smartphone. But that doesn’t replace the importance of physical presence, Shantanu says. “Of course the guilt (of not being around parents in their old age) is there, but apps that allow video chatting for example, go some way to ameliorate it.” “The visual element has made all the difference to our communication. It’s a big relief to be able to see my parents, and for them to see me. My father isn’t very technologically savvy, but thanks to my mother, at least I get to see him more often,” says Shantanu, who visits his parents and Sophia’s family in Imphal once a year during Diwali. To aid the elderly in using communication applications, there are multiple websites that offer video tutorials or step-wise guidance. For instance, social campaign website DoSomething.Org put together a helpful guide for teenagers to tutor their grandparents on the basics of Skype, Windows, Mac, iPad/iPhone, Facebook and Skype, which is available through their campaign, Grandparents Gone Wired (www.dosomething.org/ campaigns/grandparents-gone-wired). If Subramanian encounters a difficulty, she picks up the phone and calls one of her nephews or nieces spread across Thrissur, Mumbai and Los Angeles for advice. Venkatraghavan recounts how she had to call her grandmother to tell her the difference between liking a post on Facebook and sharing it. “‘Is that so,’ my grandmother said, and promptly began to ‘like’ posts rather than share them as she had been doing. “Communication is at the core of who she is.” dhamini.r@livemint.com
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q BLUE STAR R410A DC MULTI INVERTER
`1.7 lakh Typical split air conditioners for homes require the installation of one indoor unit and one corresponding outdoor unit. Blue Star’s split AC solution, however, runs three indoor units installed in different rooms in a house with just one outdoor unit. It is simpler to install and maintain, and also saves on power bills. A temperature sensor is installed in the remote,
allowing the system to monitor the temperature near the user, and control the cooling power and air direction. There is a whole bunch of filters integrated as well, including Cold Plasma (generates active hydrogen and oxygen ions to eliminate bacteria), Carbon (removes ammonia, formaldehyde and benzene), Catechin (catches dust, mites, cigarette smoke, etc.) and Vitamin C Filter, which improves immunity. Available at: www.bluestarindia.com
p JOSEPH JOSEPH LOCKBLOCK
£60 (around `5,900), plus shipping Anyone who loves cooking will inevitably have a variety of knives in the kitchen. The LockBlock, which can hold six knives, helps keep them secure and away from children. It locks the knives inside the storage chamber, which can only be released when the release button is firmly pressed with one hand, and the knife pulled out with the other hand. Available at: www.josephjoseph.com
p BRUNO SMARTCAN
GADGETS | VISHAL MATHUR
THE HYPER SMART HOME
Lock your knives, remoteplay with your pet, and make bulbs change colour
q BLUEAIR SENSE
q BOSE SOUNDTOUCH
`39,990 Swedish company Blueair makes some of the most effective indoor air purifiers. And if ever there was a beautiful gadget, this is it—designed by Sweden’s Claesson Koivisto Rune architectural and design agency, it has won many awards, including the Good Design Award from the Chicago Athenaeum Museum of Architecture and Design, and Germany’s Red Dot Award. The air purifier has a metal body in multiple colours. The HEPA filter is paired with a carbon screen to stop smoke and gas too. The wraparound grille is designed to increase air flow on all sides. The top panel, which is made of tempered glass, has a concentric-ring backlit display to indicate fan speed and power on/off status. Just below the panel is a motion sensor, which allows users to simply wave a hand over the panel to change fan speed or switch the Sense on or off. Available at: www.amazon.in
SoundTouch Portable Series II (`33,638); SoundTouch 20 Series II (`33,638), and SoundTouch 30 Series II (`57,236) You are sitting by the poolside in the evening, enjoying music on the speaker installed amid the garden furniture. Now, as the sun goes down, you want to shift back inside, and enjoy a glass of Chardonnay. These Wi-Fi and AirPlay speakers can be used to play the same music in more than one room at home, or seamlessly transfer the music from one speaker to the other as you exit one room and enter another. The speakers have an OLED display, showing details of what is playing. The free SoundTouch Controller app is available for iOS, Android, Mac and Windows, and also offers a range of international radio stations. Available at: www.boseindia.com
q ZICOM DOOR PHONE WITH HANDSFREE q PETCUBE CAMERA
$199 (around `12,700), plus shipping If you are away for work all day, and have a pet at home, then this gadget is for you. With Petcube, you can remotely play with your pets, and even talk to them. Connect the device to your home Wi-Fi, and the small camera relays a live feed to your smartphone (free app on iOS and Android). There is a two-way audio through built-in microphone and speaker, so that your pets can also see you. The aluminium case will come in handy in the event of an accidental topple. Available at: www.petcube.com
Preorder: $179, plus shipping Cleaning the house is a task in itself. And dustpans aren’t always designed well enough, leading to the problem of cleaning the same area again to clear the remaining dust. This smart can has an integrated vacuum—simply sweep the dust near the vacuum inlet which starts the suction mechanism as soon as the sensors detect the presence of a broom. Just wave your hand near the motion-sensing lid to open it. It is a perfect accessory for weekend cleaning. Available at: www.brunosmartcan.com
p PLAYBULB COLOR $79.99, plus shipping Chances are you have never seen a bulb like this. Made by the Hong Kong-based MiPow, this 3W LED bulb also packs in a 3W wireless speaker, which works with Bluetooth. It can be controlled with a free PLAYBULB X app (available for iOS and Android), including the ability to set sleep and wake-up timers. With the tap of a button, the user can change colours—red, orange, yellow, green, light blue, dark blue and purple in various patterns, including pulsing, rainbow, and flashing. It’s a perfect accessory for the bar at home, or the home entertainment room—light and sound from one fixture. Available at: www.store.mipow.com vishal.m@livemint.com
`19,999 Zicom’s door phone is much more than just a phone. A camera is installed outside your home, and it also has night-vision capabilities. You can see the visuals on a 7-inch colour screen. The two-way conversation as well as the video can be recorded on a memory card, complete with date and time. The indoor unit can be installed anywhere in your home. Perfect for homes that have a doorbell installed just outside the main gate and for apartments which are not a part of a secure gated complex. Available at: www.zicom.com
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SATURDAY, MAY 30, 2015° WWW.LIVEMINT.COM
BOND | SONALI KOKRA
SCREEN DIVIDE
Indian family courts have been telling divorced parents to allow video calls between their child and the noncustodial parent. The concept has varying success ISTOCK
Virtual parenting: Video calls can help divorced parents enjoy coparenting.
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Who wakes up at 7 on a Saturday morning? A 36-year-old father from Mumbai does. At 7.30am sharp, he gets to see his seven-year-old daughter for exactly half an hour. The “visit” is restricted to the online world, but he will take what he can get. His daughter lives in London with her mother, and he only sees her for 20 days in a year. A Skype visit beats a phone call. The couple separated three years ago, and, a year later, the mother moved to London to be with her parents. She was the primary caregiver to their then fiveyear-old daughter, so, naturally, the child went with her. The father could have started a lengthy custody battle, but he knew the mother was going to be the custodial parent and that enraging her would eventually hamper his relationship with his daughter. So he chose to join the ranks of what Britain calls Skype Dads. Like the name suggests, these dads mostly get to parent from behind screens. Contact with their children is largely limited to Skype or FaceTime, Apple’s video-call application. In a landmark legal ruling in 2011, a British judge granted a divorced mother permission to move to Australia with her two children while the father stayed in Britain. According to the judge, the father’s relationship with his children would not be affected since he could use video calls and instant messaging to keep
in touch. Since 2004, more and more US states have been adopting virtual visitation laws. India joined the brigade about three or four years ago. Increasingly, family courts have been recommending video calls to estranged couples so that the non-custodial parent—usually the father for children under 15—can feel more involved in the child’s life. In most cases, the recommendations have been used as an interim measure while the question of custody is being decided. In May, a Mumbai judge directed a custodial mother to go as far as feeding the child during a live Skype session with the father, to avoid a tantrum. The court directed both parents to make a chart detailing each session, noting down its duration and the child’s mental condition during the call. They were also asked to rate the satisfaction level of each session. Non-custodial parents have been using video calls as a supplement to visiting their children for a while now. But that courts are now including them in rulings, in some cases equating virtual visits to physical ones, raises questions about how much a parent can really connect with their child over the Internet. “It’s a wonderful thing that courts are keeping up with the times,” says Mumbai-based clinical psychologist and psychotherapist Varkha Chulani. “But rulings like these cannot become the goto solution for custody battles. Many factors, such as the child’s age, emotional maturity and temperament, need to be taken into account. Some kids are shy and feel uncomfortable in front of a camera. I’ve also seen kids who are very attached to the non-custodial parent, and seeing them regularly online but not having physical access to express their attachment can be distressing for them,” she says. A US-based Indian mother I spoke to agrees with Chulani’s contention. She and her ex-husband live in the same city, and he is allowed to see their 10-year-old son twice a week after school and every other weekend. The father likes using technology in addition to this. But they let their son decide what he’s most comfortable with. “Our son is rather reserved and does not consider phone calls, texts or even video calls any kind of
COPARENTING IN THE TIME OF HYPER CONNECTIVITY COMES WITH ITS OWN EMOTIONAL TURMOIL
visitation. For him, unless you’re there, it does not mean much. Right now, his father is in India for a long duration, and though he misses his dad, he still hasn’t taken to phone or video calls,” says the 37-year-old media professional. To complicate matters, the son’s lukewarm reaction to FaceTiming with his dad feels like rejection to the father. Co-parenting in the time of hyperconnectivity comes with its own emotional turmoil. “You have to give the child the option of out-of-sight-is-out-ofmind,” says Chulani. “Some children simply cannot deal with the confusion of having constant access to a parent online but very little access in the real world.” Mumbai-based clinical psychologist Sonali Gupta says video calls can help divorced parents enjoy co-parenting even though they are no longer together. “In India, most divorced parents stay disconnected and lose out on the joy of co-parenting. Technology can help bridge that gap. The non-custodial parent can be a part of major milestones and can share parenting duties.” The key is to have consensus on protocol between the parents. “The noncustodial parent might overcompensate for not being physically present by getting too involved and trying to micromanage the child’s life,” Gupta says. “This will only create a strain between parents and might lead to the breakdown of the system.” The relationship between the divorced parents plays a pivotal role in whether digital meetings work out. A 43-year-old Delhi-based father had to fight tooth and nail to get minimal access to his son, who was 7 when he and his wife separated and is now 12. According to the father, for over four years his ex-wife kept reneging on court-mandated visits and phone calls, causing irreparable damage to the father-son relationship. The parents are once again locked in a custody battle, but the father has been granted video access twice a week for 15 minutes as interim relief. The ex-wife does allow these visits, for fear of losing custody, but not without a fight. Sadly, the scenario is not that uncommon. “I’ve had cases in which the custodial parent tutors the child to talk only in monosyllables or be rude and
uncooperative with the other parent,” says Mridula Kadam, a Mumbai-based lawyer who specializes in family law. “I’ve also seen cases in which the child is not able to talk or Skype freely because the other parent is always in the room, eavesdropping, and the child does not want to upset them.” Gupta says there are times when parents fight bitterly over Skype in the presence of the child. “Such a scene can put a child off the medium,” she says. “If you feel you have residual anger from the divorce, it is better to refrain from using this technology or at least not have both parents present for the visit.” Unfortunately, there is little that the non-custodial parent can do if the custodial parent refuses to follow the court’s directives. “By and large, the onus is on the custodial parent to follow orders,” says advocate Rohan Cama, counsel with the Bombay high court. “If the custodial parent doesn’t comply, one can file proceedings for breach of order to get the courts to intervene.” But relief can take years and may not help much. “You just have to hope that at some point the custodial parent realizes that it’s in the child’s best interests to not be estranged from their other parent,” says Cama. In some cases, the court does appoint a counsellor to ensure the custodial parent cannot interfere. The three divorced parents I spoke to have had different degrees of success with digital visits. But they all agree that nothing can replace an actual physical visit. After all, there is only so much joy to be had from being able to see but not touch and feel. “Technology is great, but it can only be used as a supplement. Skype can replace phone calls and make the quality of conversation better, but it should never replace the time you have been legally granted to spend with your child,” says Sundaresan Mahadevan from Chennai, who travels to Delhi every month to see his 10-year-old daughter. “No matter how good the technology, ultimately, it’s just a device that is probably being controlled by the custodial parent. So if you really want to have a proper relationship with your child, make the effort to go see them.” Write to lounge@livemint.com
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SATURDAY, MAY 30, 2015° WWW.LIVEMINT.COM
CONNECT | PRERNA MAKHIJA
YOU’VE GOT MAIL
And a WhatsApp notification, a missed videocall and a Facebook poke. Can technology help fuel longdistance marriages? ANIRUDDHA CHOWDHURY/MINT
Face time: Samir Mehta and his wife Sareeta at Starbucks, Horniman Circle, Mumbai.
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Little did I know, but enthusiastic newlyweds Samir Mehta and his wife Sareeta were prepared to race me to bringing up the “Texting Hat” in our interview first. In case you are wondering, the Texting Hat is a piece of parody headgear one can wear while incessantly fidgeting with one’s smartphone. To make one, all you have to do is print a paper cut-out of your face and paste it on a flat cap so you maintain “eye contact” with those around you while keeping a keen eye on the barrage of incoming messages, emails and notifications on the handheld device of your choice. I was brought to the hat, and to the Mehtas, by my mother. My sister and I usually feel a severe sense of dread when we receive a “forward” on WhatsApp from our 53-year-old mother. We never know which buttons she will push (accidentally), leading to a showdown at home or worse still, the excruciating silence she will present to our otherwise bubbly instant-messaging group. But the Hat was different. It was sent to me by her to help with the article I was working on. Unconsciously, she was also giving me a peek into her super-secret “50s is the new 30s” college friends’ group on WhatsApp, members of which I was scheduled to interview the following day. Do the Mehtas need a Hat? Sareeta admitted that though she finds the concept hilarious, it doesn’t really apply to them. She doesn’t allow her husband or herself any online-time when they are together. This was surprising. This was a couple in their early 50s,
whose relationship is just five-years-old, married for just over six months, and with a foundation built (more-or-less) on their early online interactions and phone conversations. I joke and tell Sareeta, a practising clinical psychologist, that this no-gadget rule will last only as long as their honeymoon period. Sareeta, who moved to Mumbai from Nashik only after her wedding in November 2014, explains that their relationship has always had a longdistance element to it and it has evolved in the same way smartphone technology has evolved over the last couple of years. Though both husband and wife studied at KC College, in Mumbai’s Churchgate, many years ago, they had never met each other until a college reunion in 2010. They claim their relationship would have progressed from the first time they laid eyes on each other—“technology or no technology”—but they also admit that their smartphones have always played (and continue to play) Cupid. Even though they now live together at Peddar Road, both husband and wife constantly find themselves in different cities and sometimes different countries because of their demanding careers and necessary visits to family outside Mumbai. Samir is an environmentalist working with various non-profits on river issues, while Sareeta’s parents live in Nashik. It is because their relationship has survived for long stretches of time on long-drawn BlackBerry Messenger and WhatsApp conversations and meticulously scheduled video calls that Sareeta says they now cherish “real” time with each other so much that they tend to be overprotective of it. Perhaps they really don’t need the Hat. Aruna Daryanani, 31, agrees with the Mehtas but admits she is still a novice in the “art of being apart”. The longdistance arrangement in her four-yearold marriage is yet to cross the six-month mark. Mumbai-based Daryanani recently moved to Bengaluru to take on the role of senior product manager at Amazon India, a decision, she says, she made with the support of her husband Alok Samtaney, 34, investment director at Sabre Capital’s South Mumbai office. Both self-confessed workaholics, they admit that a distance that can be covered with just a 2-hour flight was not reason enough for Daryanani to pass up a promising career opportunity. Before Daryanani could even begin to
PERHAPS IT’S FAR LESS COMPLICATED TO BE FRANK IN AN ONLINE CONVERSATION... THAN IN PERSON, OR OVER A CALL
pack her bags, the couple sat down to discuss the terms and conditions of the big move: Their weekend life would continue to be devoted to one another, that is, one of the two catches a flight to be in the same city every Friday; a FaceTime call once a day is a must along with relevant updates and checking in through the day using iMessage or WhatsApp. Though this proved to be difficult at first, Daryanani says they take great comfort in the fact that seeing each other’s face is just one click away at all times. It also helped that this was the second time they were going to be apart from each other. Like the Mehtas, Daryanani-Samtaney are also college batchmates (they went to the SP Jain Institute of Management and Research in Mumbai) and started dating in 2009 at a time when Daryanani was at her first job with Citibank in Chennai while Samtaney was settled in Mumbai. “It’s so much easier now, especially since we stayed together with just long, late-night phone calls, restrained SMSes and instant messenger conversations, interrupted by sluggish Internet connections using old-school modems that made odd sounds,” she explains. “Increasingly, many married couples we know are learning to accommodate their respective careers in different cities,” she says. “I know it’s cheesy to say it out loud, but distance does make the heart grow fonder especially since both Alok and I are otherwise quite shy introverts. Now since our time together is so limited, we obviously work harder to make the most of it.” It’s no secret that our online avatars, so to speak, are often the best versions of ourselves. Perhaps it’s far less complicated to be frank, open and uninhibited in an online conversation or to admit to a fault and apologize on WhatsApp than in person, or over a call. Like Daryanani, Delhi-based Saranga Kumar, 32, says she loves how she can just rely on cute emojis to coax her husband into doing the things she likes on the weekend or buying her presents. Her husband Prashant Singh, 35, a selfconfessed “filmy guy” leaves Kumar “love notes” using WhatsApp’s voicemessaging option. “If Prashant is driving home from work and there’s a lovely song on radio, he sings along, records it all and sends it to me,” she says to me on WhatsApp,
following it up with multiple “blushing” emojis. “Through the day we also send each other links on Facebook messenger or Facebook chat—stuff that is useful to our jobs or stuff that’s good to know.” In the Daryanani-Samtaney treasure trove of virtual memories, there are several dozen e-cards dating to a time when 123Greetings and Hallmark didn’t need to advertise their free-for-all egreetings business. “Our favourite e-cards feature animated and excited cartoon characters Hoops, a pink cat, and Yoyo, a green rabbit, by Hallmark,” says Daryanani. “We still send those to each other on birthdays and anniversaries, just for the nostalgia of it all.” Mumbai residents Anand Bhagat, 54, and his wife Jayshree, 47, even challenge the general notion that excessive gadget use can disrupt real relationships. Their son Utsav, 25, says that they spend a lot more quality time with each other (both online and offline) and with their common friends (school and college friends and “parent” groups) since they made the switch to smartphones and learned how to use WhatsApp three years ago. “I’ve often caught them chatting and LOLing with each other on WhatsApp,” says Utsav. “This is almost always when they are in the same room together, just sitting on two different couches. So I can only imagine what a riot they are when they are away and missing each other.” Anand says that though they use a constant stream of WhatsApp messages to check in on each other—“I check if my wife has had lunch or her medicines when she’s busy working at her office,”—they also use FaceTime when she’s away from Mumbai. While the couples I spoke to didn’t care too much for social media platforms or PDA (public display of affection) filled selfies on the Internet, they did express a keen interest in the future of mobile communication. “For me, seeing Sareeta’s face is extremely important, so my favourite apps when she’s away are FaceTime and Skype,” says Samir. “For me, knowing Samir’s whereabouts and what he’s up to is extremely important so I use WhatsApp a lot,” says Sareeta. Together, they admitted that they are desperately waiting for the day when a young inventor will finally add the “tactile” dimension to virtual communication. prerna.m@livemint.com