Yellow Blister by Steve James

yellowblister December 27, 2008

Yellow Blister

To Bloggers Everywhere

Contents Dedication

Yellow Blister

My Pages

174

Yellow Blister Saturday, October 25, 2008 Fifty-two cows are killed after lightning hits a wire fence The Hereford and Normandy breed cows were discovered by the ranch manager in the field. A veterinary expert who examined the carcases said they had been killed by lightning hitting the wire fence bordering the field where the animals were stood. The incident occurred in Valdez Chico, near Montevideo, Uruguay. In September, 53 cattle were killed by lightning in Katosi, Uganda. They had been seeking shelter underneath trees, according to local reports. Lightning hits the earth an average 100 times per second, or 8.6 million times a day. Each spark of lightning can reach over five miles in length, soar to temperatures of approximately 50,000 degrees Fahrenheit, and contain 100 million electrical volts. Weather officials estimate the United States alone receives up to 20 million lightning strikes per year from as many as 100,000 thunderstorms. The odds of being struck by lightning are approximately 1 in 576,000 and the chance of actually being killed by lightning is about 1 in 2,320,000. However, experts say working or playing in open fields; boating, fishing, and swimming; working on heavy farm or road equipment; playing golf; taking a shower; talking on a conventional telephone; and repairing or using electrical appliances are all activities that should be avoided during storms.

Posted by goldenlad at 08:18PM (+01:00) Cow drowned into the sea for being impregnated by human Villagers from Julah in Tejakula, Buleleng, tow (see photo) a pregnant cow behind a boat into open sea as part of a local traditional ritual.

The cow, which is five months pregnant, was thrown out to the sea about 3 kilometers from land Monday. The villagers believe the animal was impregnated by a village elder. During the ritual the man, who was caught red-handed having sexual intercourse with the cow two months ago, joined the boat trip in order to throw away his clothes to to symbolize him discarding his sins. Julah customary village head Ketut Sidemen said the ritual, called gamya gamana, or freak weeding, and had been conducted there for generations. The decision to perform the ritual was made a local residents meeting. In line with customary regulations, the perpetrator, identified only as PS, 70, was sanctioned to fund the expensive ceremony, which aimed to cleanse him of any bad influences. Luh Ketut Suryani, a professor and activist, deplored the sancation against PS. She said drowning a cow was baseless because sexual intercourse between a human being and am animal could not cause pregnancy due to the different chromosomes and genes of the two. "The cow is not guilty, why shoud it be drowned? Why don't just use a symbol like what was done by the perpetrator?" she said. Suryani's said she was concerned dealt with the financial situation of the owner, who lives below the poverty line. "The cow, which has a high price, had to be thrown away. It will be a pity for the owner, who is already poor and is now forced to lose his priceless belonging." Source Posted by goldenlad at 08:23PM (+01:00) Contractors paint yellow lines around car Bungling contractors painted yellow lines AROUND Paul McCarthy's car while he was on holiday. The 31-year-old was stunned when he returned from a weekend away to find his once legally parked motor marked out for attention on Hyde Terrace in Woodhouse. Traffic wardens have slapped three ÂŁ70 fines on it and the bar manager who lives in the centre of city is now in a wrangle with Leeds City Council.

Paul said: "The traffic warden had given me three parking tickets. I've told the council to say I've no intention of paying the fines." A Leeds City Council spokesman said: "We do not enforce parking restrictions in any ways which are illegal and are addressing locations where signs and lines do not conform to regulations. "We have to comply to the letter of the law and never knowingly issue a parking ticket where the lines or signs are incorrect. All of our parking attendants are specifically trained in this respect." Source Posted by goldenlad at 08:49PM (+01:00) Bumming Around Posted by goldenlad at 09:39PM (+01:00)

A Desperate Plea Posted by goldenlad at 09:41PM (+01:00)

Baby Wee Wee

Posted by goldenlad at 10:10PM (+01:00)

Sunday, October 26, 2008 Inappropriate Kid's Slide

Posted by goldenlad at 12:32AM (+01:00) Broomsticks banned from school halloween party Children have been banned from bringing broomsticks to a Halloween party because of health and safety fears. Langham Pre-school announced it was barring brooms from its annual Pumpkin Party on Sunday after a child was hurt last year. The fancy-dress party has been running at the village’s community centre for more than six years and is the nursery’s main fundraiser, attracting about 100 children and their families. But this year committee members decided to officially ban play broomsticks and devil forks for health and safety reasons. John Smith, committee chairman and a primary school headteacher, said: “It was not a whim, it was a considered decision. “Last year, a child brought a full-size broomstick and another child got hurt. “It’s common practice when you have children running round you don’t have broomsticks or forks."

But Sally Cowley, a 39-year-old mother-of-two, who runs Boxted mother and toddler group, said: “I think it’s sad it has come to this. “It’s the same as banning conkers. “I think we need to really think sensibly about things before we ban them, rather than being pushed into doing something because someone says something might happen.” A spokesman for the Pre-school Learning Alliance added: “Banning broomsticks at a Halloween party, however well-meaning, is taking health and safety a little to the extreme.” Source

Posted by goldenlad at 10:50AM (UTC) Gummi Lighthouses Posted by goldenlad at 11:13AM (UTC)

Police Arrest Mich. Man For Car Wash Vacuum Sex Police say a Michigan man has been arrested after "receiving sexual favors from a vacuum" at a car wash. The Saginaw News reports the 29-year-old Swan Creek Township man was arrested Thursday in Saginaw County's Thomas Township, about 90 miles northwest of Detroit.

Police Sgt. Gary Breidinger says a resident called to report suspicious activity at the car wash about 6:45 a.m. An officer approached on foot and caught the man in the act. Source The suspect, whose name wasn't immediately released, is being held in the Saginaw

County Jail. Posted by goldenlad at 01:44PM (UTC) Holy Spirit Posted by goldenlad at 11:04PM (UTC)

They eat LARD

Posted by goldenlad at 11:33PM (UTC)

Monday, October 27, 2008 Man jammed in toilet stops TGV A MAN trapped his hand in the u-bend of a TGV toilet. Firefighters cut him free after his arm became lodged in the u-bend after he tried to retrieve his mobile phone. "He came out on a stretcher, with his hand still jammed in the toilet bowl, which they had to saw clean off," said witness Benoit Gigou. The train was travelling from La Rochelle to Bordeaux on Sunday. The service was delayed for two hours after the 26-year-old victim, hunting for his lost telephone, fell prey to the powerful suction system which drains the loos on board, the rail network's regional office said. Source Posted by goldenlad at 11:04AM (UTC)

Speeding! You must take me for some sort of muppet! An Audi TT with British registration plates has been repeatedly caught speeding on roads in the Bavarian city of Bayreuth. But because continental speed cameras are set up for left-hand drive vehicles, the cameras keep missing the driver’s face. Instead, they keep capturing clear views of a manic Muppet-like toy which the cheeky Brit has propped up on his passenger seat. But police admit they are even baffled about the identity of the muppet. The No.1 suspect is Animal – the manic drummer from The Muppet Show’s house band The Electric Mayhem. But several residents of Sesame Street are also in the frame, including the lovable monster Grover and Bert’s rubber-ducky-loving sidekick Ernie. Now police have released one of the photographs in the hope someone will recognise the furry speed demon. A German police source said: “The number plate is not enough. We need clear evidence of who is driving the vehicle too. “But because this is a British vehicle we can never get a decent picture. The driver has obviously worked this out because he has placed a large puppet in the passenger seat. “This may be an example of the famous British sense of humour but it is still dangerous driving. “The driver has been caught on camera on several occasions and the puppet is on the passenger seat every time. We suspect he positions the toy deliberately before accelerating past the camera.” The photo released by police was taken on August 8 this year on Bayreuth’s busy A9 road at 11:11am. It clearly shows the reckless muppet accelerating to 155 kilometres per hour on his way to the German capital Berlin. As the speed limit on the road is 120 kmph, the driver is due for three points on his licence and a €50 fine.

Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:37AM (UTC) Driver follows sat-nav into lake A Polish driver steered his mini bus straight into a lake - after his sat-nav told him to. Stunned police got a frantic call from the bus driver as he called from the Mercedes van screaming that he and his two passengers were drowning. "A man phoned in panic from his mobile phone. He managed to say that he had driven into a lake and he was sinking fast," said police spokesman Marcin Guzenda in Glubczyce, south west Poland. "He said he had two passengers but he couldn't open the doors - and then he got cut off." Police, fire and ambulance services rushed to the lake and found the driver and his passengers perched on the top of the mini-bus's roof. The trio were taken to hospital after the accident but released after treatment for shock. "There used to be a road there until last year until the local water company flooded the valley to build a new reservoir lake," said one police source. "It seems that the GPS hadn't been updated and was still showing a usable road running through where the lake now is. It's a huge lake and it's hard to imagine how you could ignore or not see it, but he certainly managed it. "The driver had such faith in his sat-nav that he didn't even notice all the traffic signs saying the road had been closed," they added. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 02:34PM (UTC) Time for... Posted by goldenlad at 04:57PM (UTC)

Man drives drunk to protest drunk driving charge An Austrian man, charged with drink driving, drove to a police station to complain about the charge whilst drunk, officials said on Monday. The 65-year-old had his driving license and car keys first taken away from him on Sunday after driving while over the alcohol limit in the northern city of Linz. He then went home, picked up his spare car keys, went back to the abandoned car and drove to police headquarters to explain why he was unhappy with the charge. "When the driver tried to show police officers what had happened the first time, they detected he was still under the influence of alcohol," police said in a statement. The driver was charged a second time. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 06:34PM (UTC)

Tuesday, October 28, 2008 We scream for Ice Cream Posted by goldenlad at 07:35AM (UTC)

Cigarette drink aims to beat smoking ban The drink, called Liquid Smoking, has already proved a hit in the Netherlands where it has been on sale for a year.

Dutch suppliers United Drinks and Beauty Corporation, hopes the drink will be on sale here before Christmas as they aim to target the opposite end of the energy drinks market. The manufacturers say it does not contain the drug nicotine, but rather a mix of roots from South African plants which is said to give "a slight energising effect, followed by a euphoric sense of calming and relaxation." It has less than 21 calories per 275ml can and would cost £1.50 in the shops. Although there will be no lower age limit to buy it, the makers believe it should not be drunk by anyone under 15. United Drinks Chief Executive Martin Hartman said: "The product we have developed has got similar properties to nicotine, so we are trying to help people out who are affected by the ban on nicotine People might use this instead of a cigarette or tobacco to help the cravings. He added: "It will take the edge off of a need for nicotine for between one to four hours. "I think it will help people who feel the need for nicotine in bars, restaurants, long-haul flights and on the train." Anti-smoking groups have already expressed their concern however. Amanda Sanford, from Action on Smoking and Health said: "Although we welcome anything which is a genuine alternative [to nicotine], many of these are totally unregulated and we only have the manufacturer's word about what they contain. "We would be concerned about any health claims that are unsubstantiated, and at this stage we wouldn't encourage people to buy them." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:34AM (UTC) Wanted: for cruelty to dummy animals An ornamental garden dog sparked an animal cruelty probe after it was mistaken for a neglected pooch. A dozy passer-by called the SSPCA after spotting the life-size “whippet” tied to a fence with an empty food bowl and a CIGARETTE stuck in its mouth. But incredibly, they failed to notice the brown mutt was actually a statue, and an SSPCA

inspector was sent round to owner Anne Wright’s house to probe the neglect allegations. Last night Anne, 45, of Blantyre, Lanarkshire, said: “The ornament, which I call Priscilla, looks realistic, but this is hilarious.

“I can’t believe someone actually thought I’d abandoned a real dog. I don’t even have a real dog. I have a cat called Elvis. “My son Gary found a card from the SSPCA behind our door last Friday morning. It turns out someone had reported me for leaving a dog in my garden without food or shelter.” Production operator Gary, 24 — who tied the pooch to the garden fence — added: “At first, I thought someone was at it. Then I phoned the SSPCA and was told an Inspector had been out. “The woman took my details and I told her we don’t have a dog — we have an ornament that sits outside in the garden with a broken ear and a food bowl. She burst out laughing.” Anne bought the £17 stone statue from a TV shopping channel three years ago. It originally sat under the window in her living room, but she moved it outside three months ago when its ear broke off. SSPCA Chief Superintendent Mike Flynn said: “We investigate all allegations of cruelty.” Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:37AM (UTC) Jeremy Kyle couldn't come up with this! Posted by goldenlad at 08:25PM (UTC)

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 Cockatoo baby

Posted by goldenlad at 07:46AM (UTC) Vietnam considers driving ban for small-chested people Vietnam is considering a ban on smallchested people driving motorbikes - a proposal that has provoked widespread disbelief, all the more in this nation of slightly built people. The ministry of health recently recommended that people whose chests measure less than 28 inches (72cm) would be prohibited, as would those who are too short or too thin. The proposal is part of an exhaustive list of new criteria the ministry has come up with to ensure that Vietnam's drivers are in good health. As news of the plan hit the media this week, Vietnamese expressed incredulity. "It's ridiculous," said Tran Thi Phuong, 38, a Hanoi insurance agent. "It's absurd." "The new proposals are very funny, but many Vietnamese people could become the victim of this joke," said Le Quang Minh, 31, a Hanoi stockbroker. "Many Vietnamese women have small chests. I have many friends who won't meet these criteria." It was unclear how the ministry established its size guidelines, and an official there declined to comment. The average Vietnamese man is 1.64m (5ft 4in) tall and weighs 55kg (121lb). The average Vietnamese woman is 1.55m tall and weighs 47kg. Statistics on average chest size were unavailable. The draft, which must be approved by the central government to become law, would also prohibit people from driving motorbikes if they suffer from array of health conditions like enlarged livers or sinusitis. The rules would cover the vast majority of Vietnam's 20m motorbikes. It would not apply to car or truck drivers. Motorbikes account for more than 90% of the vehicles on Vietnam's roads, and many workers in the nation of 85 million need them to do their jobs. When Nguyen Van Tai, a motorbike taxi driver, heard about the proposal, he immediately had his chest measured. Much to his relief, Tai beat the chest limit by 7cm. "A lot of people in my home village are small," said Tai, 46. "Many in my generation were poor and suffered from malnutrition, and now the ministry of health wants to stop us from driving to work."

Vietnamese bloggers have been poking fun at the plan, envisioning traffic police with tape measures eagerly pulling over female drivers to measure their chests. "From now on, padded bras will be bestsellers," said Bo Cu Hung, a popular Ho Chi Minh City blogger. Newspapers were inundated with letters today from concerned readers who worried that they wouldn't measure up. "I'm not heavy enough. What am I going to do?" Le Thu Huong asked in a letter to the Tuoi Tre newspaper. "And what about people whose chests are small? Most of them are too poor to afford breast implants!" Source

Posted by goldenlad at 10:40AM (UTC) Guilty verdict for 'stupid' robber A MAN who robbed vulnerable rail passengers of their mobile phones has been handed a six-month prison sentence after his "own stupidity" led police to his door. Luton Crown Court heard how Eneas Tanyongana robbed a 16-year-old of his mobile on a train between Rye House and Ware stations on March 16, threatening to stab him if he didn't hand it over. Speaking outside court, Det Con Jon Pine, of British Transport Police's robbery squad, said: "The boy was obviously very scared and handed over the phone without argument. "When the boy asked what he was supposed to do without a phone, Tanyongana decided to hand over his own phone, complete with contact details and photos." Police used the information to trace 21-year-old Tanyongana, of Risdens, Harlow, and linked two other robberies to him using CCTV evidence. The first was an attempted robbery from a disabled man between Hertford East and Ware stations in May 2007, where Tanyongana grabbed his victim by the throat because he would not hand over his mobile phone.

The second offence took place on a train between Broxbourne and Harlow Town in January.

Tanyongana attempted to befriend his victim, a 13-year-old boy, by engaging him in casual conversation about his phone. The victim handed his phone over to Tanyongana to look at, but when he asked for it back he was told, "No. You've been robbed." Tanyongana pleaded guilty to two counts of robbery and one count of attempted robbery. DC Pine added: "It's a nice boost to the investigation when key pieces of the puzzle have already been laid out for you. "It was a combination of Tanyongana's own stupidity and good police work that led to him being arrested just hours after the offence." Tanyongana also received a six-month suspended sentence. Source Posted by goldenlad at 10:43AM (UTC) False leg found underneath ride The owner of a prosthetic leg found beneath an Alton Towers rollercoaster is being sought by the amusement park. The leg was just one of many bizarre items found near The Corkscrew, which is to be dismantled after carrying 43.5 million people since it opened in 1980. Staff clearing the site also found underwear, a diamond wedding ring, 53 nonmatching shoes and 604 watches. Other lost property items included 800 pieces of jewellery, 237 mobile phones, thousands of caps and a prosthetic ear. The ride, which reaches speeds of up to 44mph (70km/h), opened on 4 April 1980. Riders are turned upside down twice within three seconds - which probably explains the large amount of lost items found below. The Staffordshire amusement park said it was used to dealing with more than 5,000 items of lost property, such as car keys, money and mobile phones. Russell Barnes, divisional director, said: "As the Corkscrew is the oldest rollercoaster in the park, we were expecting to find some strange items when we started clearing the Corkscrew area but a prosthetic leg definitely tops the list as the most bizarre.

"If anyone has any information on the missing leg, we would be keen to hear from them." The rollercoaster, which was the first double-looped ride in Europe when it opened, will run for the last time on 9 November. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 12:22PM (UTC) Glitter payout sparks outrage Shamed pop star Gary Glitter is to receive a GBP100,000 pay cheque from computer giant Hewlett Packard after bosses chose to use his song Do You Wanna Touch Me in a new TV advertising campaign. The singer, real name Paul Gadd, was recently released from a prison in Vietnam, where he served nearly three years for sexually assaulting two girls aged nine and 11. He has since been deported back to his native Britain - but is in line to receive the cash sum from Hewlett Packard chiefs over the use of the 1972 track to promote a new touch-screen model. The adverts actually feature the 1982 cover by Joan Jett, but Glitter is set to get the money in royalties. However, the deal has angered child protection organisations in the US. A spokesperson for Child Abuse-watch.net says, "It shows a distinct lack of sensitivity." Source Posted by goldenlad at 06:12PM (UTC)

Thursday, October 30, 2008 New Pepsi bottle. Posted by goldenlad at 07:44AM (UTC)

Freak bike accident Click the source link below for some almost unbelievable photos of the severe leg injury incurred by a cyclist after a freak bike accident. He was on a ride last week after the storm the weekend before last. The guy he was riding behind ran over a large branch which kicked up and impaled Bob’s leg when he ran into it. The EMT’s had to cut the ends of the branch off to get him in the ambulance. They have him on heavy-duty antibiotics. They did not place any screws to set the broken Fibula, fearing that disturbing the bone might complicate contaminants getting further into his body. The prognosis is good. He has to go back to the trauma surgeon on Friday to work out plans for a skin graft. Apparently there may have been a line of riders, maybe 6 - 10 riders, two abreast, going approximately 25 mph, and the rider’s bike in front of him kicked up a branch, and you can see the results. The branch did not have a spear point at the end that went through his leg. That is why it broke his bone. Imagine the pain. This happened a couple of weeks ago. He is going to be fine. Be careful while riding your bike. You never know what can happen. Source Posted by goldenlad at 09:00AM (UTC) Police arrest man on theft, indecent exposure charges Denton police arrested a man Wednesday night after he al-legedly shoplifted a tube of

male enhancement cream in a store and then decided to try it out. A loss-prevention officer in a store in the 1500 block of South Loop 288 called police about 9 p.m. The officer said he saw the suspect pick up a $24 tube of cream and then walk to another section of the store, where he took the tube out of its box and put it into his pocket. Then the suspect walked into the menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s room, the report states. The officer followed him. The suspect walked into a stall and the officer could hear him removing the lid from the tube, according to the report. After using the cream, the man re-turned to the main area of the store. The officer watched as the man then walked to the Barbie Doll aisle of the toy section and exposed himself twice. Then he went back into the menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s room and used the cream again, ac-cording to the report. The officer called police. Arriving officers saw the man again in the store, where he exposed himself several more times, according to the report. The officers arrested the suspect on theft and indecent exposure charges. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 01:04PM (UTC)

Friday, October 31, 2008 Happy Halloween

Posted by goldenlad at 12:01AM (UTC) South Korea court says only blind can be masseurs South Korea's Constitutional Court ruled on Thursday that only the visually impaired can be licensed masseurs in the country, upholding a law set up a century ago despite arguments it infringed on free employment rights. The law was established in 1912 when Korea was under Japanese colonial rule to help guarantee the blind a livelihood, according the to the Korean Association of Masseurs, which now has about 7,100 visually impaired people as members. "The regulation is meant to provide visually impaired people with an opportunity to have a personally rewarding occupation, and assure that they have means to earn a living; thus, the purpose of the legislation is well justified," the court said in its decision.

Welfare experts in the country have said the law helps the blind make a living by carving

out a niche but it adds to discrimination in the workplace because it makes employers in other fields less likely to hire the visually impaired. The group of visually impaired masseurs has led protests over the court case, with three blind masseurs committing suicide since 2006. "The court decision is not only a verdict on our right to live but also a measure of South Korea's conscientiousness," said Lee Gyu-seong from the association. The country's unlicensed masseurs, estimated by local media to number about at 200,000, said the law denied them the right to practise their high-demand trade. Unlicensed masseurs can face fines ranging from several hundred to several thousand dollars and even a short stint in prison. They won a 2006 court decision to overturn the law but parliament redrew the measure in a way that continued the monopoly for the blind as licensed masseurs. The court said the current law should not be seen as a permanent fix and called on legislators to find a compromise. Police have said some of the unlicensed massage parlours are fronts for prostitution, but there is much larger demand for legal, above-the-board massages. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:31AM (UTC) ÂŁ100,000 Ferrari wrecked after street race We've all had the odd prang in our time, but it'll take more than a quick spraypaint job to fix this little beauty. If the owner of this ÂŁ100,000 Ferrari 360 Modena is smarting at the loss of his pride and joy, at least he and his passenger walked out of the wreckage with only minor injuries. Witnesses in Adelaide, Australia, said the driver had 'turned the streets into a racetrack' before the vehicle span out of control and ploughed into a telegraph pole. The crash nearly split the car in two but the men inside, both in their 30s, survived relatively undamaged. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:34AM (UTC) Village shopkeeper bombarded with hate mail over golliwog sales Viv Endecott has called in the police after receiving a string of complaints from locals. But she has hit back by sticking up an anonymous letter put under her door in the shop window to gauge customers' reaction. Miss Endecott, 47, has sold more than 500 golliwogs in the last six months and claims there is a demand for them. Enid Blyton regularly featured them in her famous books, including the Noddy series. In recent years the golliwogs have been "cleansed" from the novels as many people began to see them as a crude racial stereotype. But Miss Endecott said she will continue to sell the dolls alongside the Blyton books, teddy bears and bottles of ginger beer. She said: "Around here it is accepted that a golliwog is a soft toy associated with Enid Blyton. I genuinely think most people don't associate them with black people. "No offence has ever been intended by me and therefore none should be taken. "My customers aren't members of the BNP or the National Front. They don't cuddle golliwogs and turn into racist bigots, who we all detest." Miss Endecott, who is of Indian origin, added: "There is plenty of real racism to get worked up about than to argue over the merits of a soft toy." The golliwog first appeared in a children's story by the writer Florence Kate Upton and was popularised in Britain when jam manufacturer Robertsons adopted it as a symbol for its products in 1910. They dropped it in 2001. In Blyton's Noddy books, the golliwog owner of the garage in Toytown has been replaced by a Mr Sparks while the book The Three Golliwogs is now The Three Bold Pixies. Pauline Burnett-Dick, 52, who bought a golliwog from the shop in Corfe Castle, Dorset, which was immortalised in the Famous Five novels, said: "They are part of my childhood and it ridiculous

it is being suggested they shouldn't be sold anymore."

Adnan Chaudry, chief officer of the Dorset Race Equality Council, said: "Golliwogs have become widely recognised as an offensive object by all sections of the modern world." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:35AM (UTC) NOOO Palins! Posted by goldenlad at 12:16PM (UTC)

Gatuitous pussy shot. Posted by goldenlad at 02:02PM (UTC)

Monkey taunts tigers

Posted by goldenlad at 06:21PM (UTC)

Saturday, November 01, 2008 Vagina Musical

Posted by goldenlad at 09:53AM (UTC) Hundreds flock to toilet to see art A public toilet in Munich which has been transformed into an art museum has attracted hundreds of people in the first days after opening, a spokesman for the city's tourism agency said on Thursday. Built in 1894, the toilet house was originally constructed to serve nearby households which lacked necessary facilities. After being in use for over a hundred years, the toilets were locked up in 1992 because they were very rarely used. "On the night we opened, around 800 people came to see our work," initiator of the museum project, Mathias Koehler told Reuters. He said that a toilet was a great place for artistic expression because art is a form of relief in the same way that going to the toilet is. The art exhibited is mainly graffiti often with a political theme. Examples include images of Barack Obama and German Chancellor Angela Merkel flanking a urinal in the corner of the room. Four artists contributed their work to the exhibition. Although the 70-square meter museum is only temporary, Koehler said he could not rule out making it permanent if public interest remains high. Source Posted by goldenlad at 10:01AM (UTC) E-mail error ends up on road sign When officials asked for the Welsh translation of a road sign, they thought the reply was what they needed. Unfortunately, the e-mail response to Swansea council said in Welsh: "I am not in the office at the moment. Please send any work to be translated". So that was what went up under the English version which barred lorries from a road near a supermarket. "When they're proofing signs, they should really use someone who speaks Welsh," said journalist Dylan Iorwerth.

Swansea Council became lost in translation when it was looking to halt heavy goods vehicles using a road near an Asda store in the Morriston area

All official road signs in Wales are bilingual, so the local authority e-mailed its in-house translation service for the Welsh version of: "No entry for heavy goods vehicles. Residential site only". The reply duly came back and officials set the wheels in motion to create the large sign in both languages. The notice went up and all seemed well - until Welsh speakers began pointing out the embarrassing error. Welsh-language magazine Golwg was promptly sent photographs of the offending sign by a number of its readers. Managing editor Mr Iorwerth said: "We've been running a series of these pictures over the past months. "They're circulating among Welsh speakers because, unfortunately, it's all too common that things are not just badly translated, but are put together by people who have no idea about the language. "It's good to see people trying to translate, but they should really ask for expert help. "Everything these days seems to be written first in English and then translated. "Ideally, they should be written separately in both languages." A council spokeswoman said: "Our attention was drawn to the mistranslation of a sign at the junction of Clase Road and Pant-y-Blawd Road. Other confusing signs "We took it down as soon as we were made aware of it and a correct sign will be re-instated as soon as possible." The blunder is not the only time Welsh has been translated incorrectly or put in the wrong place: • Cyclists between Cardiff and Penarth in 2006 were left confused by a bilingual road sign telling them they had problems with an "inflamed bladder". • In the same year, a sign for pedestrians in Cardiff reading 'Look Right' in English read 'Look Left' in Welsh. • In 2006, a shared-faith school in Wrexham removed a sign which translated the Welsh for staff as "wooden stave". • Football fans at a FA Cup tie between Oldham and Chasetown - two English teams - in

2005 were left scratching their heads after a Welsh-language hoarding was put up along the pitch. It should have gone to a match in Merthyr Tydfil. • People living near an Aberdeenshire building site in 2006 were mystified when a sign apologising for the inconvenience was written in Welsh as well as English. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 10:04AM (UTC) A VICAR turned up in agony at a hospital — with a potato stuck in his bottom. The clergyman told stunned casualty nurses he fell backwards on to his kitchen table while hanging curtains. He happened to be nude at the time of the mishap. The embarrassed reverend, in his 50s, had to undergo a delicate operation to extract the offending vegetable. The spud was yesterday revealed to be among a litany of objects medics in Sheffield have removed from people’s nether regions. Others include a can of deodorant, a cucumber, a Russian doll — and a carnation. Like most of the other patients, the red-faced vicar insisted to staff at the city’s Northern General Hospital that his predicament was NOT the result of a sex game gone wrong. A & E nurse Trudi Watson said: “He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in the kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.

“But it’s not for me to question his story. “He had to undergo surgery to have it removed.” She admitted some sex-related emergencies had made staff chuckle. But she urged anyone contemplating sticking something where the sun doesn’t shine to think again. Ms Watson said: “My advice? Don’t do it. “It can be very dangerous and potentially life-threatening.

“Surgery can lead to infection, nasty scarring, and it could possibly end up with the person having to use a colostomy bag as a result.”

Health staff across Sheffield, Barnsley, Rotherham and Doncaster say they are no longer surprised at the things people use to spice up fun in the bedroom. A hospital trust spokeswoman in Sheffield said: “Like all busy hospitals we do see some unusual accidents. “But our staff deal with them in a discreet, professional and kind way.” Source

Posted by goldenlad at 10:15AM (UTC) No Grandma's Ride Theresa Honeywell uses an element of macho manliness - a rugged motorcycle - and crosses it with dainty elements of femininity - the traditional medium of knitting. The result? A wondrous work of craftiness that I found delightful in its irony. Of course, these are the stereotypes on gender, but I think the work stands to make a statement that can be interpreted in so many ways. Source Posted by goldenlad at 01:46PM (UTC) Tetris A Theme on Glass Bottles

Posted by goldenlad at 01:46PM (UTC) Jedi Squirrels Posted by goldenlad at 02:20PM (UTC)

Sunday, November 02, 2008 Man is found glued to toilet seat A man had to be taken to hospital still attached to a steel toilet after super-glue was deliberately smeared on the seat. Firefighters were unable to free the man and were forced to remove the entire toilet with

the man attached. The 35-year-old was in a public toilet cubicle in Brierley Hill in the West Midlands when he became stuck. He was taken to hospital where doctors had to get into the ambulance before using chemicals to free him. Toilet re-installed An ambulance service spokesman said: "He appeared to be none the worse for his ordeal other than being understandably somewhat embarrassed." It is thought the glue had been smeared on the toilet seat by a prankster. An ambulance crew and a rapid response vehicle attended the scene just before midday but they were unable to free the man. "With the help of a local authority and the fire and rescue service, the man was removed from the cubicle still attached to the stainless steel toilet," the spokesman said. The toilet was later taken back to the public convenience and re-installed. Source Posted by goldenlad at 10:02AM (UTC) Mother sets up camp in MFI bed department to show anger at lost furniture A mother was so furious at having to wait months for her MFI furniture that she protested today - by setting up camp in the store with her three-year-old daughter. Shahana Ahmad, 30, and her daughter Diya walked into the bedroom department of MFI Cambridge, hung their clothes in a wardrobe and jumped into a bed and read a story. They spent half an hour snuggled up in the double bed before being spotted by the store's bemused manager. Ms Ahmad, a research scientist, has been sleeping on her bedroom floor since the first week of September while waiting for MFI to deliver ÂŁ750 set of bedroom furniture.

She ordered a double bed, two wardrobes and a mirror during a sale in July, but six weeks later has only received half the flat pack furniture she purchased.

Ms Ahmad complained to MFI which promised - and failed - to deliver the furniture another two times, before telling her the items she wanted had been discontinued. The company said they could locate the missing items and deliver them if Shahana was prepared to wait until October 29. But when no furniture arrived on Wednesday Ms Ahmad, a scientist at Cancer Research UK, reached the end of her tether after wasting four days of annual leave waiting for deliveries. Ms Ahmad, from Teversham, Cambs., said: 'I am a professional lady and this is not something I would normally do but I have been driven to this. We wanted to see what my daughter's pretty pink clothes looked like hanging up in a wardrobe and how it feels to sleep on a bed, which we haven't had for months. 'I am a grown woman and a scientist but I have been literally reduced to tears by MFI and I am at my wits end. All I want is my furniture but head office will not listen to me.' Ms Ahmad was so excited to be revamping her room she threw out her old bed and wardrobe before the expected delivery. But instead she has been left with nearly 200 kilos of flat pack furniture lying around her house - which she cannot assemble because it is incomplete. She said: 'I haven't got space in my house for 200 kilos of furniture - I have a little toddler and she has nowhere to play. I am not living in a home, I am living in an MFI warehouse.' The manager at MFI furniture centre Cambridge has now offered her a refund or the same furniture in a different range following the protest. Ms Ahmad said: 'If I wanted a refund I could have had it two months ago - instead they made me wait.' A spokesman for MFI said: 'MFI sincerely regrets the issues that Miss Ahmad has experienced with delivery of her bedroom furniture and we offer our full apologies for the inconvenience incurred. Miss Ahmad has ordered several items which were out of stock and have now been discontinued. 'The local showroom manager has been in contact with Miss Ahmad and is taking the necessary steps to ensure her complete satisfaction by offering a full refund of her order, or alternative items from our new ranges.' Source Posted by goldenlad at 10:19AM (UTC) Bouncing tits

Posted by goldenlad at 12:39PM (UTC) Frog vs Snake Posted by goldenlad at 07:38PM (UTC)

Monday, November 03, 2008 Snake caught eating cocky LAST month, it was a spider chowing down on local birdlife that caused a media frenzy around the world. Not to be outdone, a python has taken up the challenge with a hapless sulphur-crested cockatoo (bird) falling victim to its hungry jaws last Thursday night. Artist and Clifton Beach resident Cindy Lane was painting in her studio around 8pm when she heard a "couple of loud squawks" coming from the bougainvillea tree in her backyard. View more photos of the snake eating the huge cockatoo bird. On closer inspection, she found the python coiling itself tightly around the bird high in the treeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s branches. "I considered jumping in to save him, but his last breath was literally being squeezed from him as we approached," she told The Cairns Post. She said the python then took about two hours to complete his meal after "one false start" with another half hour to enjoy his spoils before moving on. "It was difficult to watch but at the same time mesmerising," Ms Lane said. "It was just so clever how it used his upper coils to get the wings aligned so it could swallow the whole thing." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:07AM (UTC) Pensioners told tea-time chats in the park are 'anti-social' - and unless they talk quietly their benches will be removed It's a simple pleasure that brings a little extra joy to these pensioners' lives. Once a day the seven friends meet up for a cup of tea and a chat on the benches outside the sheltered accommodation where they live. But their get-togethers could soon be banned - because of claims they are an anti-social nuisance. The housing association which owns their homes says it has received several complaints over the past two years about noise from the group, the oldest of whom is aged 96. It is warning them that the four benches they sit on could be removed unless the friends keep it down. Yesterday one of the pensioners - who is recovering from a stroke and has had 45 operations over the years - said she was horrified at being branded a troublemaker. Ann Reddy, 69, who also has rheumatoid arthritis, said the accusations of anti-social behaviour against her and her friends were incomprehensible. 'How could I possibly be capable of anti-social behaviour?' she said. 'When I told my doctor that we might be having our benches taken away, he asked me if I had been drinking. We don't drink and sit on walls throwing cans of lager around the place. 'We don't sing in the middle of the night. It's unbelievable.' The retired medical secretary, who worked for the NHS for 40 years, added: 'We just love sitting outside in the fresh air enjoying each other's company and talking quietly about our families, the weather, and the cost of living.' The pensioners - most of whom live alone - meet on the benches so they can escape the isolation of their flats. They are unable to walk to the benches in their nearest park because some are too frail. But Broomleigh Housing Association, which owns the flats in Mottingham, South London, is refusing to back down.

Another member of the group is 96-year-old Rose Anderson. Mrs Anderson, who has nine great-grandchildren and five grandchildren, said: 'I would be devastated if I was stopped from meeting with my friends. 'I'm so old now and I have got nothing else to do with my day. 'I would just have to sit in my flat all day long and I would go mad. We all deserve to be treated with a lot more respect than this.' Julie Schoon, assistant director of supported housing at Broomleigh, said: 'As a registered social landlord we are responsible for ensuring that any complaints of noise nuisance or other forms of antisocial behaviour are acted upon. 'Following a number of complaints from residents over the last two years we have worked hard to try to mediate between those involved. 'We are very reluctant to remove any of the benches and would view this as a last resort. We are currently talking to residents and considering various solutions to try to resolve the issue.' Last week a report by Help The Aged found a third of over-65s - some 3.6million people live alone and have little contact with their friends and family. But something as simple as a having a chat with friends can greatly improve their lives, it said. Amy Swan of Help the Aged said: 'It's such a tragic state of affairs when older people tell us that the only person they see from week to week is the postman. 'Isolation and loneliness are not inevitable side-effects of the ageing process, but the life events associated with older age can leave people vulnerable. 'Once the clocks go back and the nights draw in, older people can feel even more cut off from society, but we know that something as simple as getting out of the house to meet and chat with other people can have a lasting effect.' Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:08AM (UTC) "Star Wars" - an acapella tribute to John Williams

Posted by goldenlad at 09:44PM (UTC)

Tuesday, November 04, 2008 Lego Stephen Hawking

Posted by goldenlad at 07:39AM (UTC)

Posted by goldenlad at 05:00PM (UTC)

Swiss police follow blood trail and find bacon Swiss police can be excused for fearing the worst. Acting on emergency calls Monday night, they hurried to a rural road in northern Switzerland where horrified motorists reported a long trail of blood â&#x20AC;&#x201D; what they believed was evidence of a brutal crime. A police statement Tuesday said officers followed the blood for 12 miles to the town of Kuettigen only to find that a butcher\'s supply van had spilled its cargo. A barrel of pork blood had overturned inside. The van had been headed for a local sausage factory. Posted by goldenlad at 09:27PM (UTC)

Wednesday, November 05, 2008 33

Dominican migrants lost at sea ate dead to survive Five migrants rescued after 15 days lost at sea ate their dead comrades to stay alive, a Dominican official said Sunday. One of the five, the only woman in the group, died Sunday in a hospital after the group was found near the Turks and Caicos Islands, said Dominican Minister of Tourism Francisco Javier Garcia. Garcia said the remaining four, part of a large group of migrants, told him that without food, they ate from the corpse of the last person to die. A total of 33 Dominican migrants were trying to reach Puerto Rico by boat when they were reported missing by relatives in mid-October. Survivors said they lost their way after the captain abandoned the ship. Bodies of the other dead were thrown into the sea, Garcia said they told him. The five migrants were rescued by U.S. Coast Guard helicopter on Saturday and taken to a hospital on the island of Providenciales. "The other four are dehydrated and have swollen legs but are expected to recover," Garcia said after visiting the survivors with Turks and Caicos Premier Michael Misick. Many of their relatives presumed they were already dead. Hundreds of Dominicans take to the sea each year in small boats, many of them homemade, trying to reach Puerto Rico through the dangerous Mona Passage. In 2004, 36 survivors in a group of 87 migrants drank breast milk, sea water and ate human flesh in desperate acts to survive. Source Posted by goldenlad at 10:06AM (UTC) Paddy Power offers odds of 4-1 that God exists Since opening its book just two months ago, punters hoping to have their faith rewarded have placed ÂŁ5,000 with Paddy Power.

It began taking bets on the question that has plagued thinkers for centuries in September, to coincide with the switching on of the Large Hadron Collider that physicists hope may lead to the discovery of an elusive sub-atomic object called the "God particle". Initially the odds that proof would be found of God's existence were 20-1, and they lengthened to 33-1 when the multi-billion pound atom smasher was shut down temporarily because of a magnetic failure. But interest in the wager has increased greatly following the recent launch of a campaign to have atheist adverts placed on London buses declaring that "there's probably no God". As a result of a flurry of small bets Paddy Power, which also runs books on who will be the next Pope and the head of the Roman Catholic Church in England and Wales, has cut the odds on proof being found of God's existence to just 4-1. The bookmaker stands to lose more than £50,000 if proof emerges to justify religious belief. A spokesman for Paddy Power said that confirmation of God's existence would have to be verified by scientists and given by an independent authority before any payouts were made, however. He added: "The atheists' planned advertising campaign seems to have renewed the debate in pubs and around office water-coolers as to whether there is a God and we've seen some of that being transferred into bets. "However we advise anyone still not sure of God's existence to maybe hedge their bets for now, just in case." Paddy Power's book on the theological topic was only opened this year, but the notion that it is a good idea to gamble on God's existence was first put forward in the 17th Century. The French philosopher Blaise Pascal argued that although God's existence cannot be proven through reason, it makes sense to have religious faith since a person has everything to gain – an "infinitely happy life" – and nothing to lose by doing so. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 10:07AM (UTC) Tea task force to spy on water use at work

Envirowise is calling on businesses to appoint tea monitors to make sure people do not waste water. It is advising companies to use teapots instead of making individual cups of tea, and hopes to re-introduce tea urns to the workplace. They say that the moves will cut greenhouse gas emissions and, in turn, help businesses to save money. Envirowise, which is funded by the Department for Environment Food and Rural Affairs, estimates that more than 30 billion cups of water are unnecessarily boiled each year. In a statement it tells businesses: "Appoint a tea task force or tea monitor to make sure all your office hot drink-making facilities are as efficient as they could be. Only boil the water you use - this will avoid water and energy being wasted." They go on to say that employees should use a teapot when making a round of hot drinks as this "allows you to measure the correct amount of water you will need, and often tastes nicer than making tea in the cup. Mary Leonard, director at Envirowise said that the advice would serve as a "resourcesaving initiative" for small and big companies. However, critics and politicians have branded the advice "useless". Susie Squires of the Taxpayers' Alliance said: "This is yet another example of a taxpayerfunded quango doling out useless advice. People are sick of these quangocrats wasting our time and money." The Conservative environment spokesman Peter Ainsworth said: "You might have thought that in the current economic environment the Government would have higher priorities than appointing tea monitors." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 10:10AM (UTC) Posted by goldenlad at 03:39PM (UTC)

Drugs smugglers break down outside Kenya police base Elite Kenyan police who went to help a luxury 4x4 that broke down outside their base were surprised when the occupants took off on foot -- until officers took a closer look and found the vehicle loaded with marijuana. "When the occupants refused assistance and fled, officers became suspicious and searched the vehicle," finding about $20,000 (12,333 pounds) worth of the drug, Trans Mara police boss Joshua Omukata told The Standard newspaper. Members of the highly-regarded paramilitary General Service Unit from Keyian camp in the Rift Valley were unable to catch the would-be traffickers. Marijuana growing is a lucrative option for many poor farmers across fertile east Africa. Trans Mara District is home to the Maasai Triangle, part of the Maasai Mara Game Reserve. Source Posted by goldenlad at 10:08PM (UTC) Posted by goldenlad at 10:45PM (UTC)

Thursday, November 06, 2008 Posted by goldenlad at 07:36AM (UTC) Posted by goldenlad at 07:36AM (UTC)

Gravestones removed or 'secured' by over-zealous safety officers Councillors across the country have set about shoring up memorials with plastic binding, or stakes, or removing them entirely, to prevent them from falling over and causing injuries and compensation claims. The Health and Safety Executive has recorded 21 incidents of injuries caused by falling headstones over the past seven years. The Government have said that gravestone accidents have caused eight deaths in the past 20 years. However ministers have admitted that the vast majority of gravestones do not present a threat and some MPs are now saying that the measures are upsetting families who see it as unnecessary. John Mann, Labour MP for Bassetlaw, said that in his constituency district and parish councils had staked 800 gravestones. He said: "Distressed constituents have found almost entire graveyards full of staked monuments. "One mother felt her son's grave had been desecrated." Mr Mann also believes that the stakes themselves present more of a hazard to pass-

ersby as he believes that they could trip or impale themselves. He said that the situation was a nationwide "scandal". He said: "I would estimate that between 500,000 and a million headstones in Britain have been wrongly staked by over-zealous burial officials. "This is a scandal across the country." Justice Minister Bridget Prentice admitted that some town halls had over-reacted to worries about gravestones and said that councils should pay to restore them when they had been defaced or moved for no good reason. She said that new national guidelines were expected to be published soon. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 09:08AM (UTC) Flaming tar barrels carried around Devon town Devon and Somerset Fire Service had described the scene in the Devon town as "complete chaos" after one foot of hail fell in the area last week, grinding the town to a standstill. But the residents of Ottery St Mary were not deterred from hosting the annual Ottery Carnival which includes the traditional lighting of tar barrels with men carrying them through the streets. The custom is said to have originated in the 17th century, and accompanies the lighting of the bonfire on the banks of the River Otter - one of the biggest bonfires in the south-west. Each of Ottery's central public houses sponsor a single barrel, and in the weeks prior to the event the barrels are soaked with tar. They are then lit outside each of the pubs in turn and once the flames begin to pour out, they are hoisted onto local people's backs and shoulders. In some cases, generations of the same family carry the barrels and take great pride in doing so - seventeen barrels are lit in all over the course of the evening. Last week, the storm delivered enough hail to fill the Millennium Dome twice in the town, leaving it partially cut off and 100 homes flooded.

Over the course of six hours, an estimated 270 million cubic feet of hail fell on the area of five square miles, overwhelming flood defences. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 09:08AM (UTC) Pools ban floats Floats for children have been banned at three Northumberland swimming pools - for health and safety reasons. Staff at Waterworld in Prudhoe ruled the water aids should not be given to young children as they could pass on infections. One father who told The Sun he was "amazed" when lifeguards would not give his fiveyear-old son a float. He said: "I pointed out to the staff that surely it's more of a health and safety risk if the child sinks because they don't have a float. I was just gobsmacked by this." Pool operator North Country Leisure also has the same rule at venues in nearby Hexham and Alnwick. Director of operations Darren Lamb said: "We normally provide floats when it is safe to do so. "On this occasion there was obviously a reason why it wasn't given and I can only apologise. We don't provide inflatable devices such as rings or water wings for hygiene reasons." But Hexham MP Peter Atkinson said: "This is just the latest directive from the health and safety commissars. It is a ridiculously over-cautious approach to something which is of great benefit to young people." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 10:41AM (UTC) Posted by goldenlad at 12:46PM (UTC) Posted by goldenlad at 04:23PM (UTC)

Cream drummer may flash ginger nuts in court Veteran drummer Ginger Baker has declared he is willing to drop his trousers in court to prove he never got jiggy with a woman accused of defrauding him of £30,000, the Telegraph reports. Baker, 69, now lives in South Africa, where he befriended Lindiwe Noko at the bank where she worked as a clerk. He called in cops when £30k went awol from his account, and Noko subsequently claimed she and the former Cream sticksman were lovers and he gave her the cash as a gift. Not so, insists Baker, who is now prepared to whip off his strides to prove the point. He explained: "I've a scar that only a woman who had a thing with me would know. It's there and she doesn't know it's there." The case is due to be heard in January. Watch this space for a ginger nuts update. Source Posted by goldenlad at 06:38PM (UTC) Posted by goldenlad at 08:21PM (UTC) Replica fighter jet that travels at 5mph Measuring seven metres in length and four metres in width the £4,000 F-35 Lightning II Fighter Jet has been built at a scale of 1:2. Resembling Tom Cruise's jet out of Top Gun, it took 3,500 hours to construct the model. The plane is constructed from iron, wood, hard foam, fibreglass and lots of epoxy filler, comes complete with cameras and monitors inside the cockpit, and is capable of achieving speeds of 5mph on the road.

The plane's designer, Arthur van Poppel, 49, from Tilburg, Holland, said: "I finished the plane at the beginning of last year. "I had no drawings to work from, just some pictures and a small plastic Revell model to use as an example. "But eventually I managed to find my way and I am very happy with it." Mr van Poppel, an accomplished artist and musician, added: "I like to entertain people even shock people sometimes. "The jet can spray water and has odour pots to simulate diesel smells, and the nose can drop down 30 degrees. "Every time people see it they are amazed and that makes me very happy." The jet also comes equipped with several sound effects, navigation lights, interior lights and searchlights. Although he has a knack for building planes, his real passion is building musical instruments. He explained: "I like to build music machines - anything from a musical car to a musical bike. "I have been able to play 50 musical instruments at the same time using my feet, hands, arms and elbows. "But I would love to play once on the Oprah Winfrey show or at Paul McCartney's birthday party." Source Posted by goldenlad at 10:25PM (UTC)

Friday, November 07, 2008 Posted by goldenlad at 09:41AM (UTC) Posted by goldenlad at 09:45AM (UTC)

Squirrels dancing to Michael Jackson

Posted by goldenlad at 11:22AM (UTC) Pilot blinded in mid-air guided to safety by RAF jet Jim O'Neill was flying his Cessna plane at 15,000 feet when he suddenly lost his sight while suffering a stroke last Friday. The 65-year-old, who had taken off from Prestwick airport and was on his way to Colchester in Essex, radioed for help and the RAF responded, sending a jet to his aid. The military aircraft flew alongside Mr O'Neill and guided him down to land at RAF Lintonon-Ouse in north Yorkshire. He was taken to hospital where doctors discovered that the stroke had caused blood the back of his head to put pressure on the optic nerve, blinding him. Mr O'Neill, who is still receiving medical attention, said: "I should not be alive. I owe my life to the RAF, it was terrifying. "Suddenly I couldn't see the dials in front of me. All there was in front of me was a blur. I was helpless at the controls." Group Captain Mark Hopkins, station commander at Linton-on-Ouse, said: "Shepherding aircraft in this way is something we do from time to time, but this is a very strange case. "I'm proud we could get him on the ground safely." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:23AM (UTC) Mink chews holes in speedboats at marina The animal was spotted by powerboat owner Elliott Maurice after he discovered a hole in the cabin of his ÂŁ100,000 craft moored up at Brighton Marina.

The 36-year-old businessman said his suspicions were first raised when he noticed animal droppings on board his boat. He then noticed the hole in the cabin and caught sight of the mink on another boat as it gnawed at a piece of rope. Mr Maurice said: "I went on the boat and found quite a strange smell and thought it was a bit odd. "When I opened the cabin I saw droppings about the size of rat droppings. Then I saw a hole in the bulkhead about the size of a fist and I knew there was no way a rat could have done that. "I went up to the harbour office and was told there is a mink on the loose - and then I saw the little sod." He said he didn't know how much damage the mink, dubbed Minnie, had caused to other boats, but said it could run into tens of thousands of pounds. He said: "I don't know how much damage it has done to other boats. A lot of the owners are away at the moment, but it seems to have chosen my boat as its temporary home. "I'm not over keen on it, to be honest. It is quite cute looking but not something you want to make friends with. I think they can be quite vicious." Marina bosses said the mink has been on the loose for 10 days and are getting in a specialist team to hunt the creature before it does any more damage. One boat owner, who did not want to be named, said he had discovered a hole in the desk of his boat on Monday and was furious that the mink was still on the run. He said: "This little blighter has chewed its way through some of my decking and I'm furious. "Someone needs to do something about it quick or we'll end up with boats at the bottom of the sea." It is believed the mink is the offspring of one of hundreds set free by animal liberation activists in the late 1960s. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:23AM (UTC)

Shepherd's contest a load of bollocks

The bulls' testicles were the curly bit for contestants in the Shepherd's Shermozzle in Hunterville at the weekend. They had to fang into dry weetbix, scoff a raw egg and wash the lot down with a can of beer. The beer probably also cushioned the taste of raw bulls' testicles, which had to be carted, by mouth, 50m to the next stage of the competition. Winner Josh Masters said he'd never carried a bull's testicle in his teeth before, but it wasn't too bad. "Best of all, they weren't connected to anything." People who want the information will be delighted to know a bull's testicle weighs about 1kg, raw, depending on the size of animal it came from. They were supplied by meat plants where bulls are killed for export meat. Rumour had it that one spectator did eat a testicle, raw, but organisers said they couldn't comment on the taste. They claimed they were "lovely" cooked - a sort of Texas version of the famous mountain oyster. Mr Masters and his bitch Scruff came first in the Shepherds Shermozzle. (She won a bag of dog biscuits and he a jacket.) The best dog bark came from Guy Peacock's dog, Pound. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 01:16PM (UTC) Worst Job In The World?

Posted by goldenlad at 05:54PM (UTC) Publican to burn Tower of London model after spending nine weeks making it Edward Heath made the intricate model out of pallet wood and will set fire to it, in front of 2,000 people in the name of charity.

Mr Heath, 59, began constructing "bonfire buildings" in 1996 when he erected a replica of the Houses of Parliament, before going on to make Wembley stadium, the White House and even his local pub. He thought about stopping last year but said he was nagged by his mother and his wife to carry on, and this year will see his first ever 3D effort. Mr Heath, who will set fire to the model at the event at Dilhorne, near Stoke-On-Trent, Staffs said: "It's an intricate sort of building and a nice interesting building - there is no political reason for doing this. "It's a historic building that everybody recognises and I think it's one of my best creations yet." He said: "I gave myself more time than usual because I'm getting on a bit now - but I think I'll be able to carry on until I retire. "I wasn't going to do one this time round, I was thinking of giving up last one round but my mum and my wife keep telling me I have to. "I really hope the weather holds out because the forecast doesn't sound too good, but I'm sure whatever happens, we will have a great time. This year's plan was to build and burn Downing Street but the changed his mind at the 11th hour. "I realised Downing Street wasn't much more than a door so I thought the Tower of London would be a much more striking building to create," he said. He said the three dimensional Tower is built from pallets "was nice and easy to build but it creates a wonderful illusion", adding: "I might put a picture of Gordon Brown on one of the windows and get some ravens in there somehow." Source Posted by goldenlad at 09:30PM (UTC)

Saturday, November 08, 2008 Honkin On My Crack Pipe

Posted by goldenlad at 02:01AM (UTC) Vegetable ‘bouquet’ at gardener’s funeral

The family of a green-fingered Herefordshire man arranged a bouquet of vegetables rather than flowers at his funeral last week.

Ernest Shelley, who was known as Robin, died at Ross Community Hospital last month, aged 92. During his retirement, Mr Shelley had kept a large garden from which he supplied relatives with fresh vegetables. He had no time for growing flowers and his family decided it would be more fitting to provide a vegetable tribute at his funeral at Cinderford Crematorium last Wednesday. Mr Shelley was born in Hockley, Essex, in 1915 and his father was a thatcher â&#x20AC;&#x201C; a trade which the family worked in from 1807. He started as a thatcher and moved into farming. He became a leading farm hand and farm manager in Canvey Island, Essex. He married Elsie, now aged 92, in 1938 and the couple had two daughters, Judy and Gillian. The couple retired to Bromsash, near Ross-on-Wye, in 1974 and their two daughters both live nearby. Mr Shelley had been active until spring this year. He was admitted to Ross Community Hospital in October where he died with his family by his side. He is survived by Elsie, two daughters, four grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 09:59AM (UTC) Two French wine-makers suffocated by carbon dioxide fumes from grapes they were treading Two amateur French wine makers have died after they were suffocated by the fumes from the grapes they were treading with their bare feet. The victims had volunteered to help a friend make wine at his vineyard in the northern Ardeche region and had climbed into the six-foot wide vat to begin the traditional process of extracting the juice from the grapes. But police believe Daniel Moulin, 48, and 50-year-old Gerard Dachis were overcome by carbon dioxide fumes that are given off during fermentation and collapsed. Rescuers tried frantically to revive the pair but in spite of resuscitation efforts the two men did not regain conciousness. The owner of the small estate - who makes wine every year for himself and friends - and another pal who were also helping in the process were later treated in hospital for inhala-

tion of carbonic gas in the poorly-ventilated farm building. It is not unheard of for wine-makers to become overcome by carbon dioxide fumes. In 2003 a South African man was killed after climbing into a wine tank and suffocating. The four people who tried to save him had to be rushed to hospital. A doctor at the hospital told media at the time that wine makers were regularly overcome by fumes in the tanks. Carbon dioxide is formed during the alcoholic fermentation of the grapes. Because it is 1.5 times heavier than air it sinks to floor level - the bottom of wine vats or in wine cellars. The gas is odourless and colourless, meaning that ventilation and carbon dioxide testing during the wine-making process can become life-saving. A concentration of just eight per cent is enough to kill a human being. Source Posted by goldenlad at 10:00AM (UTC) Oh Noes! Posted by goldenlad at 10:07AM (UTC) Posted by goldenlad at 05:03PM (UTC)

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Sisters who could be killed by a loud noise Every morning the sisters, aged nine and 11, have to be woken from their sleep with the greatest of care. The girls have the rare medical condition Long QT Syndrome, which causes an abnormality of the heart's electrical system. As a result of their illness, any sudden rush of adrenaline or a sharp rise in blood pressure could prove fatal. Even any type of exercise - especially swimming - could be fatal. Samantha Church, the girls' mother, said: "Sometimes it just feels like I'm living with a time bomb, terrified it today will be the day it goes off. "It breaks my heart not knowing if they are going to be here tomorrow or in five years time." Long QT Syndrome affects one in 7,000, and is usually genetic. Mrs Church, 41, said: "My mother-in-law had the condition and had to have a defibrillator fitted. "We had the girls checked from an early age but initial tests proved inconclusive." It was doctors at Swansea's Singleton Hospital who picked up the little-known condition during an ECG scan of the youngest daughter, Evie, in July this year. Mrs Church said: "Chloe and Evie have to be woken up really carefully in the morning and have to skip PE lessons at school. "They exercise using the Nintendo Wii, but have to be strictly supervised. "They're both on beta blockers for life. It's been incredibly tough for them, but they've coped remarkably well." Luckily for the girls, they are fairly safe from harm as long as they can prepare for loud noises. It meant they could go with their friends to a fireworks party this week and enjoy the bangs like any other child. "I want Chloe and Evie to try and have as normal a life as possible â&#x20AC;&#x201C; I can't wrap them up in cotton wool," added Mrs Church.

Source

Posted by goldenlad at 10:58AM (UTC) Resident trapped in homes by tumbleweed In a scene reminiscent of a science fiction film, residents of Hawthorne Drive woke up Thursday morning to find the dried brush piled up against their windows and doors by the northwest winds, the Wyoming Tribune Eagle reported. Tumbleweeds blow into town every autumn, but a city official says this week's dump is noticeable because the winds of Wednesday and Thursday were the first extreme weather after a relatively calm fall season. The National Weather Service reported sustained winds of 35-40 mph (56-64 kph) in the city with gusts up to 66 mph (106.21 kph). Tumbleweed, also known as Saltwort, Russian thistle or Salsola is native to Europe, Asia and Africa but is believed to have been brought to the US in a consignment of flax. The plants break away from their roots in the autumn and are carried by the wind, spreading their seeds as they go. In film and television shows, a tumbleweed blowing across a scene can be used to indicate a deserted location or to emphasize an awkward silence. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:00AM (UTC) About bloody time, Chipshop! Kerry Katona has admitted for the first time that she IS an alcoholic. The former Atomic Kitten singer previously denied a drinking problem after viewers watched an erratic TV chatshow appearance which she blamed on medication. But the 28-year-old has told a Sunday newspaper: “Four years ago I was diagnosed as an alcoholic after a stay in The Priory clinic. “This is not common knowledge as I’ ve never admitted it before. But this is a battle I will face for the rest of my life.

“I can get through days without a drink but it’s hard. “I never promise myself or my family that I can beat this addiction but I’ll try bloody hard.” The mother-of-four has faced a string of public problems in her personal and professional life since her pop star days and spent time in The Priory clinic in London four years ago. But Katona, who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and her husband Mark Croft stressed that alcohol was not to blame for her slurring her words on ITV’s This Morning last month. The couple, who live in Cheshire, said her behaviour was down to taking medication late the night before her interview with Phillip Schofield and Fern Britton, in which they asked her if she had a drink problem. In the aftermath of the chat show appearance Katona parted company with her long-time publicist Max Clifford after he expressed concerns about the reality TV star. Mr Clifford said today he hoped Katona would get the support and treatment she needed to help her recover from alcoholism. He said: “I have known that Kerry had this problem for a long time and the fact that she has now come out and admitted it is a step in the right direction. “She has tried to hide it for some time now. “Hopefully she will get the help, support and the treatment that she needs so she can pull herself back from the brink of disaster.” Mr Clifford said that although he has not been in contact with Katona he still has great affection for her. “Everyone knows that I think the world of her and I hope that she manages to get control back in her life,” he said. “Now that she has admitted it hopefully people will be more understanding.” Source Posted by goldenlad at 02:35PM (UTC) Virtual Lego Fashion Show

Posted by goldenlad at 09:37PM (UTC)

Monday, November 10, 2008 One in a million chance

Posted by goldenlad at 07:48AM (UTC) 'Odourprinting' could be used to identify people Every person has a unique fragrance, similar to a fingerprint or DNA sample, which could be used to create a database of human scents, scientists said. Eating powerful foods such as chili or garlic may change how we smell, but it does disguise our underlying genetically-determined aroma, tests on mice have shown. Creatures who were given strong-smelling foods were still recognised by their peers. The signature smells may have evolved to help in choosing mates and marking out territories. Jae Kwak, lead author of the study at Monell Chemical Senses Center in Philadelphia, said that the research suggested that "odourprinting" could soon have a practical use. "These findings indicate that biologically based odourprints, like fingerprints, could be a reliable way to identify individuals," he said. "If this can be shown to be the case for humans, it opens the possibility that devices can be developed to detect individual odourprints in humans." The tests used chemical analyses of urine as well as "sensor" mice trained to use their sense of smell to choose between pairs of test mice, who were fed different foods. The results were published in the online journal PLoS ONE. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 09:10AM (UTC) Kiteboarder sails over whale David Sheridan, 42, was riding his kiteboard, while lurking in the water just a few feet below was a whale. As the New South Wales man surfed, suspended beneath a large kite, the whale smacked him on the back of the head with its tail.

"It all happened so fast that all I could do was crouch down as the whale swam under me," Mr Sheridan told Sydney's Daily Telegraph. "I saw the huge shape and my reaction was to duck while remaining attached to the flying lines from the sail above me. "The next thing I felt was its tail come up and hit me on the back of the head. "I honestly thought I was gone – it was such a forceful blow – but then the whale eased off and I was able to sail away. "But my legs were really shaking. I've never been through anything like that before and probably never will again." Mr Sheridan's camera was attached to the kite and programmed to take photos every ten seconds. He was kiteboarding near Valla Beach, off the north coast of New South Wales, with two friends. "The camera was set to start firing off shots every 10 seconds as soon as I hit the water. When the sail was at full height the camera was about 25m above the surface. "It was a lucky shot to snap the whale as it came up underneath me. "It would have been great to have got a picture a second later when the tail came up and hit me in the back of the head, but you take what you get. "It was more of a push than a punch. I expected more." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 03:02PM (UTC) Slinky Cat

Posted by goldenlad at 06:15PM (UTC) Artist to give away 1,000 works Urban artist Adam Neate plans to give away 1,000 of his works by leaving them around the streets of London for anyone to pick up next Friday night. A team of helpers will work their way from the outskirts of the capital to the centre, distributing the pieces. "Street art is what I've always done and I wanted to get back to my roots," said Neate, whose pieces have fetched up to £43,000 at auction. Each piece will have a different combination of printing and stamping.

"Every piece will be stamped or stapled differently, hence have an individual look," said Neate, who has lived in London for eight years. 'Non-discriminatory' He added: "Art was around before money so people should be able to enjoy it for what it is. "The art will be distributed through poorer and richer areas of London in a non-discriminatory fashion, from the outside in." The value of urban art has rocketed this year with a painting attributed to graffiti artist Banksy, salvaged from a London wall, fetching ÂŁ208,100. Neate's two and three dimensional paintings use recycled cardboard boxes as canvases and have been noted for their complex layering and bold use of paint. "I don't mind what people do with them. They can keep them and put them on the wall in their house or stick them in the bin," said the 31-year-old. Source Posted by goldenlad at 10:03PM (UTC)

Tuesday, November 11, 2008 China police chief arrests 48 relatives A police chief in a remote county of southwestern China has taken down 48 of his relatives for various crimes including brothers, cousins and a number of his wife's family, local media said on Tuesday. Laobulaluo, a police chief in Heizhugou township, Sichuan province, had seen 25 relatives either jailed, sent for "re-education through labour," or punished in other ways, according to a report posted on state news portal Chinanews.com ( www.chinanews.com.cn ). The police chief, who is in his 30s, is a member of China's Yi ethnic minority. Over a 10year career, He had personally arrested a brother and two cousins after finding they had beaten local teachers at a primary school while drunk. Other family members were arrested after stealing a woman's handbag.

The policeman's sense of duty had inflamed his relatives, some of whom had taken turns threatening his parents, and had "even secretly cut off the tails and slashed the legs of their cows," the report said.

"In the first few years, I did not dare head back to my hometown to pass the New Year holiday, but now it's all right. Everyone understands and supports what I was doing at the time," the report quoted him as saying. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 09:38AM (UTC) Man taken to court after wheelie bin falls over Gary Rostron, 34, a care worker, claims the bin was knocked over after he left it out for collection in March. Officials at Blackburn with Darwen Council disagreed. They issued him with a ÂŁ60 fixed penalty notice for "incorrectly placing rubbish bags beside a collecting receptacle" and then took him to court when he refused to pay. Local magistrates have now accepted that the householder was telling the truth and cleared him of breaching Section 46 of the Environmental Protection Act. Mr Rostron, of Mill Hill, Blackburn, said: "The council told me they had evidence I had dumped the rubbish because there were three envelopes with my name and address on them in the bags found in the alley. "Of course there were - it was my rubbish. But I had put the bags in the bin and left them out for the binmen. They must have been knocked or pushed over after that." He added: "This is penalising people who go out to work and cannot put their bins out minutes before the binmen come, or bring them back in the moment they are emptied. "I was not willing to have a criminal record because of something I did not do, which is why I fought it. The whole thing must have wasted thousands of pounds of taxpayers' money, which would be better spent on cleaning up the streets." Matthew Elliott, chief executive of the campaigning group the Taxpayers' Alliance, said: "This court case should never have been brought in the first place and taxpayers have been landed with a totally unnecessary bill. "People don't pay their council tax for the council to squander it on overzealous prosecutions." Kate Hollern, leader of the Labour-controlled council, said: "I think that people dumping rubbish should be taken to court, but I do have sympathy with this gentleman because I have had a number of complaints about bins not being collected and then getting knocked over. What are residents supposed to do?" Alan Cottam, the executive member for regeneration and environment, said that no

householder would ever be convicted "if we dropped cases when people say they are innocent." He added: "Evidence has to be tested in court and it is then up to the magistrates to decide." Council bosses insisted such prosecutions were a "last resort" and that they had to let "evidence be tested in court". A spokesman for Blackburn with Darwen Council said: â&#x20AC;&#x153;We spend thousands of pounds a year cleaning up the borough, educating people to dispose of waste properly and not drop litter and enforcement action is a necessary part of that process. Court action is always a last resort after other options have failed.â&#x20AC;? Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:25AM (UTC) Dog adopts kittens A female dog is nursing a litter of kittens which were orphaned when their mother died in China. Their owner, Cai, of Jiangmen, said he has been raising cats and dogs together for more than 10 years, and they all got along together well. But this was the first time he had ever seen kittens being nursed by a dog, he told the local Guangzhou Daily. The four kittens seemed happy and content with their new mother's milk, while the dog was tending to its adopted family with love and care, Cai added. "Several days ago, the kittens' mother died after eating a poisoned rat, leaving behind a litter of kittens without a source of milk," he said. "The kittens' cries may have stirred the dog's maternal nature, since it too had recently given birth. It volunteered to take over and feed the kittens of its old friend." The dog's own puppies had been taken away by one of its grown-up offspring. Cai said: "That's perhaps another reason why the dog adopted the kittens. She lost all of her own children."

Source

Posted by goldenlad at 03:11PM (UTC)

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 Getting fired up at the World Series Parade

Posted by goldenlad at 07:43AM (UTC) Russian village church 'vanishes' The Church of Christ's Resurrection, in the central Russian village of Komarovo, was built in 1809 but in early October someone took it away brick by brick, Father Vitaly a spokesman for the local Russian Orthodox Church, claimed. "We have sent a letter to local prosecutors," he said. "Who exactly did this, the investigation will show." The church was in an isolated area only occasionally visited by clergymen, so the disappearance was not immediately noticed. Komarovo is in the Ivanovo region, about 186 miles north-east of Moscow. The church was not in use but clergy had been considering resuming services there, the IvanovoVoznesenskaya and Kineshemskaya diocese said in a statement on its internet site. A survey of the large, two-storey church a few months ago found that it was structurally sound, but now all that remains are the foundations and sections of walls, the statement said. Thieves routinely make off with church property in rural Russia, where unemployment, petty crime and alcoholism are widespread. Criminals target religious icons stored in churches because they can fetch a good price, and church buildings are dismantled to provide building materials. "This is not an isolated case," said Father Vitaly. "In many villages in central Russia sites of historical interest are being dismantled and people suffer by being deprived of their cultural heritage." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 07:43AM (UTC) Dog barred from pub unless she wears high-vis vest Hatty had been banned from the Jolly Sailor pub in Prestatyn, Denbighshire, north Wales, for chewing beer mats.

But landlord Nigel McLelland finally relented and let the Lakeland Terrier return under strict conditions. Jeff Hughes, the dog's owner, explained how Mr McLelland had put his pet on a pub watch scheme last year after a rowdy night out. Drinkers started throwing beer mats about which caught the dog's attention. Mr Hughes, 35, a roofer, said: "One night we went in there and it was packed, there had been football on or whatever. She just went berserk." He said that the landlord had "got a bit annoyed about this and basically put her on the pub watch scheme." Mr McLelland said he only reversed his decision after a petition was launched to let Hatty back in and he feared he was going to lose trade. Now Hatty can enter the pub but only if she wears the specially made reflective jacket, which she also wears while accompanying her master on building sites. The landlord insisted on the vest so staff and customers can see where the dog is when she is rooting around under tables for the mats. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 07:44AM (UTC) Woman killed by husband's coffin A Brazilian woman has died after being struck by her husband's coffin when the hearse they were travelling in was involved in a car crash. The 67-year-old woman was on the way to the cemetery to bury her husband, who had died the day before. The hearse was struck from behind by an Alfa Romeo car, police said. The coffin slammed into the head of the woman, who was sitting in the passenger seat of the hearse, killing her instantly, according to officers. Marciana Silva Barcelos and her family were on the way to a cemetery in the town of Alvorada in the Brazilian state of Rio Grande do Sul, for the funeral of her partner, Josi Silveira Coimbra.

The 76-year-old man had died of a heart attack on Sunday after attending a dance. Following the accident, the driver of the Alfa Romeo was trapped for around 50 minutes in the wreckage and was taken to hospital where he was put under observation. The driver of the hearse and a son of the dead man, who was also travelling in the hearse, were treated for minor injuries. An investigation is now underway to determine the cause of the accident. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 09:10AM (UTC) Cosmetic surgery addict injected cooking oil into her own face Hang Mioku, now 48, had her first plastic surgery procedure when she was 28; hooked from the beginning she moved to Japan where she had further operations mostly to her face. Following operation after operation, her face was eventually left enlarged and disfigured, but she would still look at herself in the mirror and think she was beautiful. Eventually the surgeons she visited refused to carry out any more work on her and one suggested that her obsession could be a sign of a psychological disorder. When she returned home to Korea the surgery meant Hang's features had changed so much that her own parents didn't recognise her. After realising that the girl with the grossly swollen face was indeed their daughter her horrified parents took her to a doctor. Once again the possibility that Hang had a mental disorder was raised and she started treatment. However, this treatment was too expensive for her to keep up and she soon fell back into old ways. Amazingly, she found a doctor who was willing to give her silicone injects and, what's more, he then gave her a syringe and silicone of her own so she could self-inject. When her supply of silicone ran out Hang resorted to injecting cooking oil into her face. Her face became so grotesquely large that she was called "standing fan" by children in her neighbourhood - due to her large face and small body.

As Hang's notoriety spread she was featured on Korean TV. Viewers seeing the report took mercy on her and sent in enough donations to enable her to have surgery to reduce the size of her face. During the first procedure surgeons removed 60g of foreign substance from Hang's face and 200g from her neck. After several other sessions her face was left greatly reduced but still scarred and disfigured. And it would seem that even Hang can now see the damage she has done; she now says that she would simply like her original face back. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:10AM (UTC) Posted by goldenlad at 11:10AM (UTC)

Alien scorpions invade film studios The creatures are thought to have "hitched a lift" to the UK at the end of an overseas film shoot. A studio spokesman said pest controllers were called in after the discovery on Friday and had checked the site thoroughly. One scorpion was caught and has been handed over to animal quarantine officers at Heathrow Airport, while the studios were coy about what exactly happened to the second alien arthropod. However, the spokesman added: "Nobody was in any danger and we are satisfied that the situation has been dealt with. "The scorpions have not hit any productions. They were small and we have been told they were 'sub-adult' scorpions. "They were probably cold and miserable after finding themselves in Britain. It is thought that they hitched a life from a location where a production was filming."

There are around 2,000 species of venomous scorpions, most of which prefer a warm cli-

mate. Source Posted by goldenlad at 08:44PM (UTC)

Thursday, November 13, 2008 Madonna's Demands Posted by goldenlad at 07:47AM (UTC)

Nut Sacks? Posted by goldenlad at 07:50AM (UTC)

Creepy piggy bank

Posted by goldenlad at 09:41AM (UTC) Plane hits cow during landing

Action is at around 40 seconds. Posted by goldenlad at 09:41AM (UTC)

Man caught having sex with goat is forced to marry it Mr. Tombe form Sudan was left no choice but to take a goat as his wife after he was caught having sexual relations with it. The goat's owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders.

They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi. "We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi said.

Posted by goldenlad at 09:43AM (UTC) Book on sex positions given to primary pupils Children on a primary school trip to Sainsbury's were given a book containing pictures of sex positions as a going home gift. The book, How To Change The World For A Fiver, was mistakenly given to pupils, aged eight and nine, during a visit to the supermarket in Haverhill, Suffolk. The 42 children, from Burton End primary, were surprised to read advice such as - have a bath with a friend to: "Save water. Have fun. Just get out before everything becomes wrinkled." Other inappropriate suggestions in the ÂŁ5 book include encouraging readers to shave in intimate places, streak, talk to strangers and hand out your phone number to five people on the street. The blunder came to light only when a father heard his daughter giggling with friends as they flicked through the pages, reports the Daily Mail. Engineer Andrew Dodd, 37, whose daughter Laura is eight, said: "I was furious. It was extremely inappropriate and irresponsible to give to children. "The teachers were as horrified as we were when they saw it. Laura thought it was funny but thankfully she didn't really understand it." A Sainsbury's spokesman admitted: "This was a well-intentioned mistake. It is a very nice book about how to make the world a better place but it is not targeted at children.

"The cover looks like a kid's book. This was a mix-up and we would like to apologise for any distress caused. It certainly won't happen again." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:08AM (UTC) Prisoner mails himself to freedom An inmate escaped from jail in Germany by posting himself out of prison in a giant FedEx box of dirty laundry. Drug dealer Hans Lang, 42, hid in the laundry room after other inmates had finished work there and bundled himself up in dirty bed sheets in the large box. The package was then loaded onto a van and driven through the gates at the prison in Willich near Dusseldorf. He is understood to have waited until the driver made his next stop before getting out of the box, picking the lock on the back of the van and running off into nearby woods. It was only discovered that he was missing after the driver saw the empty box and realised the lock to his van had been picked from the inside. A spokesman for police who are now hunting him said: "It's the kind of thing people think only happens in films - but in this case it is very real." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 01:55PM (UTC) Russell Brand's gay shocker Russell Brand told American audiences last night that he pretends to be gay to trick women into bed. The comedian, who had a feature on his now-infamous Radio 2 show called 'GAY!' in which members of the public could reveals their homosexuality, told cult host David Lettermen that women often assume he is gay. Consequently, Russell said that women feel less threatened by his advances because they don't believe that he fancies them. Phone prank Russell made no mention of the voice message with he and Jonathan Ross left on Fawlty

Towers' actor Andrew Sachs' answering machine which implied that Russell had had sex with his grandaughter. Russell said: "In spite of appearances, I'm a heterosexual male. "Because I'm so well dressed, people think, 'He must be gay. Look at his haircut, he must be gay. Look how sensitive and vulnerable he is, he must be gay.' "That means women feel safe around me. They trust me.Then bang! Pregnant! Bang! Pregnant! Bang! Pregnant! Another generation. We continue." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 02:19PM (UTC) Queen owns terraced house The Queen reportedly owns a rat-infested terraced house. Officials have written to her lawyers about the boarded-up property in Gorton, Manchester. The house has been abandoned for over a decade after being owned by a firm that was dissolved. Councillors found the son of an ex-director but he had no interest in claiming ownership. Under an historic law, because Manchester is in the County Palatine of Lancaster, ownership of "disclaimed" houses must automatically pass to the Duchy of Lancaster. And since 1399, the estate and jurisdiction of the duchy has belonged to the reigning sovereign. One resident, Stuart McCabe, 52, said: "We've had rats in the backyard, pigeons, mice you name it." The council wrote to royal solicitors Farrer & Co recommending use of powers to take ownership. The house can then be given or sold to the council or a developer reports The Sun.

Councillor Jackie Pearcey said: "In the past I've told officers I want action taken on a house and didn't care if the Queen owned it. But it's the first time a house has actually

been owned by the Queen." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 02:22PM (UTC) Sluts Hole Lane - Google Maps

Click pic for map. Posted by goldenlad at 07:01PM (UTC) Cat attacks self in mirror

Posted by goldenlad at 10:46PM (UTC)

Friday, November 14, 2008 Dead Parrot sketch is 1,600 years old A classic scholar has proved the point, by unearthing a Greek version of the world-famous piece that is some 1,600 years old. A comedy duo called Hierocles and Philagrius told the original version, only rather than a parrot they used a slave. It concerns a man who complains to his friend that he was sold a slave who dies in his service. His companion replies: "When he was with me, he never did any such thing!" The joke was discovered in a collection of 265 jokes called Philogelos: The Laugh Addict, which dates from the fourth century AD. Hierocles had gone to meet his maker, and Philagrius had certainly ceased to be, long before John Cleese and Michael Palin reinvented the yarn in 1969. Their version featured Cleese as an exasperated customer trying to get his money back from Palin's stubborn pet salesman. Cleese's character becomes increasingly frustrated as he fails to convince the shopkeeper that the 'Norwegian Blue' is dead. The manuscripts from the Greek joke book have now been published in an online book,

featuring former Bullseye presenter and comic Jim Bowen presenting them to a modern audience. Mr Bowen said: "One or two of them are jokes I've seen in people's acts nowadays, slightly updated. "They put in a motor car instead of a chariot - some of them are Tommy Cooper-esque." Jokes about wives, it seems, have always been fair game. One joke goes: "A man tells a well-known wit: 'I had your wife, without paying a penny'. The husband replies: "It's my duty as a husband to couple with such a monstrosity. What made you do it?" The book was translated by William Berg, an American classics professor. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 07:43AM (UTC) Improbable Building Posted by goldenlad at 07:50AM (UTC)

Australia rocked by 'lesbian' koala revelation Female koalas indulge in lesbian "sex sessions", rejecting male suitors and attempting to mate with each other, sometimes up to five at a time, according to researchers.

The furry, eucalyptus-eating creatures appear to develop this tendency for samesex liaisons when they are in captivity. In the wild, they remain heterosexual. Scientists monitoring the marsupials with digital cameras counted three homosexual interactions for every heterosexual one. "Some females rejected the advances of males that were in their enclosures, only to become willing participants in homosexual encounters immediately after," say the researchers. "On several occasions more than one pair of females shared the same pole, and multiple females mounted each other simultaneously. At least one multiple encounter involved five female koalas. "One theory put forward by the researchers is that the females do it to attract males; another is that it is simply hormonal, or that it is a stress reliever. Scientists from the University of Queensland studied 130 koalas in captivity and will publish their results in the journal Applied Animal Behaviour Science. "Our aim was to determine the extent of differences in the homosexual and heterosexual behaviour of female koalas and thereby to determine the purpose of female homosexual behaviour in the koala," say the researchers. "Wild koalas brought into captivity clearly display homosexual behaviour on a regular basis. A total of 15 heterosexual and 43 homosexual interactions were recorded in separate animals. Homosexual behaviour was restricted to females only. Heterosexual encounters were typically twice as long as homosexual encounters," they add. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 07:51AM (UTC) How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You

Click on the pic to find out if your cat plans to kill you. Posted by goldenlad at 07:55AM (UTC) Aussie sperm floods UK Australians backpacking through the UK are among the biggest sperm donors in London. Australian travellers are turning the tables on the Brits, colonising the UK by stealth.

London fertility clinics have reported that up to a third of sperm donors are now foreigners, and many are visitors from Down Under. One of the capital's biggest clinics, the Bridge Centre, confirmed Australian backpackers were becoming donors to gain extra money to support their travels. "What you get with the 'grand tour' is very enterprising people who look at every single way of making a buck," spokesman Tim Mott told News Limited. With an official report yesterday warning that donor numbers in Britain were critically low, the clinics are hoping more travelling Aussies will lend a hand. "We need them. We need that winning spirit and we need some more left-handed batsmen so we're hoping that's in the gene set," Mr Mott joked. "If you're on the grand tour and you're spending 12 months in the UK, here's something you can do to make a bit of extra money. "They should have it on the same 'to do list' as going to the rugby at Twickenham. "It's a good cause and if we get enough Australian donors you could end up colonising the UK instead of the other way round." Fertility clinics can offer donors limited reimbursement for time lost at work and travel expenses. For 20 visits over the course of several months, the payments can add up to 500 ($1200), Mr Mott said. Donors lost their right to remain anonymous when new laws were introduced in the UK in 2005. Children conceived through this process can now contact their genetic fathers once they turn 18. Foreign donors, however, may believe they can "disappear" in their home countries. "The profile used to be completely different. It used to be British students. But non-British donors are now easier to recruit," Mr Mott said. "They know no-one will be able to find them in 18 years time." Other donors are from South Africa, Poland, the Ukraine and Colombia. A British Fertility Society report yesterday showed there was a 40 per cent drop in new donors between 1991 (503 donors) to 2006 (296 donors). And for the record, Matthew Hayden, Allan Border and Adam Gilchrist are all left-handed

batsmen. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:03AM (UTC) Local man invents vibrating toilet seat A Jones County native has developed a new twist to a traditional item. Johnny Henry of Laurel has developed the vibrating toilet seat. “I believe in thinking out of the box,” Henry said. “I wanted to create something that is a little unusual. “This invention is designed to stimulate,” he said. “It’s to make you feel good while you are there.” Because of Henry’s invention, he recently attended the Invent Bay International Inventors Convention held at the Sands Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada. “It was great,” Henry said about the convention. “You get to meet with licensers, buyers and investors, and I got a chance to promote my product. ... It was really nice.” Also while at the convention, Henry, a native of Soso, made a pitch for the Jay Leno Show and The Discovery Channel. Henry said he currently has a provisional patent on the product, however, “hopefully I’ll get on one of the shows and be able to introduce my product to a national audience.” Henry said the vibrating toilet seat “is a novelty item that can also be used as a gag gift.” When asked how he developed the idea, Henry said he “wanted to add some life to the otherwise lifeless toilet seat.” Henry, a 1968 graduate of Roosevelt High School in Ellisville, attended Jones County Junior College and Alcorn State University before entering the United States Army in 1973. After three years in the Army, Henry enrolled at the University of Southern Mississippi, where he obtained a bachelor’s degree in sociology. However, Henry said the inventors convention was very educational. “The convention was very exciting. There was 300-400 investors there,” Henry added. “I gained a wealth of knowledge about how to market inventions and how to get a product

going.” Henry, who began working on his invention in 1997, has now developed a prototype. Henry said he continues to work on the invention to make it look more slick, modern and appealing. “I want it to automatically turn on when someone sits on the seat,” he explained. “It will have two speeds. On high speed, it will increase the blood flow and stimulate the body and muscles.” Henry, who enjoys writing, said he has gotten poems published and also a book. However, Henry said, he continues to be focused on modernizing his invention. Source Posted by goldenlad at 11:04AM (UTC) Rare albino hedgehog rescued by couple Nick and Julie Packham then made a 250-mile round trip to take the hedgehog to the Tiggywinkles Wildlife Hospital, in Haddenham, Bucks, because they were concerned it would be picked up by predators. Only one in 100,000 hedgehogs are born with the recessive gene that means they have no melanin pigment in their skin, eyes and spikes. The Packhams, of Pluckley, Kent, have named the hedgehog Midnight because of its ghostly appearance. Mrs Packham said: "We saw this white hedgehog and could not really believe our eyes. He was literally glowing in the dark. He was so cute but he would have died had we left him by the road. "I asked the sanctuary whether we could keep him but apparently they need specialist care because they suffer from things like sunburn. "I think it is quite nice for people to see them and be aware that they exist." The Tiggywinkles founder Les Stocker said the new arrival was a young male, probably born last spring, and was incredibly rare. There are believed to be about 100 albino hedgehogs in Britain. "This is a particularly white specimen, so it is no surprise the couple saw it glowing in the dark," he said.

"It should not really be released because its weight is so low and albinos do not seem to do very well in the wild. They get picked on and generally do not survive." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 05:07PM (UTC)

Sunday, November 16, 2008 Animal Acts Click pic for more like this Posted by goldenlad at 11:03AM (UTC)

Fake Quo singer tricks town into year of freebies A conman convinced a whole town that he was the Status Quo frontman Francis Rossi, earning himself free meals and trips in the mayor's limousine for almost a year. The trickster promised Dover's town councillors that he would perform free at their festival. And if that wasn't enough, he would ensure that his "friends" Sir Paul McCartney, Charlotte Church and Queen's Brian May would play alongside him. The council was duped, it emerged today, into allowing the conman to judge a carnival float competition and attend a VIP event at Dover Castle. He was allegedly plied with free food and drink and rides in the town's limousine, normally reserved for the mayor. There were, however, inconsistencies which could have given the game away. Like why the conman did not possess a Francis Rossi-trademark ponytail, or why he could not play the guitar. According to reports, the man claimed: "I can't grow my hair long any more. A fake one is stuck on three hours before a gig." Asked to play Rockin' All Over the World - one of Status Quo's biggest hits, along with

Down Down and In The Army Now - he politely declined, explaining he suffered from arthritis but would happily sing it instead. Some residents puzzled over why they didn't see "Rossi" at the town's carnival despite his promise to attend but others sang his praises, describing him as "gracious". On postings on the internet, one local wrote: "Well done to everyone involved in the carnivalBut where was Francis Rossi? I took my camera but he wasn't on the float. Did he make it to the judging?" To which another replied: "Francis Rossi made it to Crabble [the local football stadium], but, as DDC [the council] had sent me a missive forbidding anyone to disembark the floats at the Town Hall, he was unable to ride with Miss Dover as hoped. He was very gracious at Crabble and it was a real pleasure to meet him." Another then posted: "Lots of great pictures taken throughout the day haven't seen any of Francis Rossi thoughanyone have any? Perhaps as you met him and shook his hand Sid perhaps you have a few??!" It is suggested the conman's cover was only blown when it came to the town festival and none of his celebrity friends appeared, prompting him to flee never to be seen again. The real Francis Rossi, 59, joked today: "I'll never know how he knew the secret of my ponytail." Source Posted by goldenlad at 11:16AM (UTC) In memory of fat people Posted by goldenlad at 04:50PM (UTC)

It's crap Posted by goldenlad at 04:57PM (UTC)

Guinea pig festival in Peru The one-day festival includes an animal show and a food and fashion contest which features the guinea pig, native to the Andes Posted by goldenlad at 05:00PM (UTC)

Webcam Dance Accident

Posted by goldenlad at 09:18PM (UTC)

Monday, November 17, 2008 Pasty worth the distance A group have carried out a 220-mile round trip to taste a pasty. More than 100 'foodies' travelled from Bristol to Kingsbridge in Devon to give it a try, reports the BBC. They enjoyed their food during two lunch sittings organised at the local church hall next to the butchers. Gerald Creed, from Bugler Coaches, organised the trip after he tasted the snack. The pasty is made by Lidstone's butchers who have been in business in the town for more than 100 years. Manager Chris Sroka said: "We use the finest quality beef from our farm at Blackawton and potatoes from a local grower - that makes all the difference," he said.

"They were absolutely delicious - bursting full of meat and potatoes and the pastry was just perfect," said one happy diner. Source Posted by goldenlad at 11:58AM (UTC) Miracle pup clings to bonnet A miracle pup clung to a speeding car for more than 15 miles after being knocked down. The motorist, Marco Menozzi, didn't even stop when he mowed down the one-yearold pooch while doing 70mph on a side road in Cozze, southern Italy. But he hit the dog so hard he was embedded in the grill under the bonnet of the Peugeot 207 and managed to cling on until the car eventually stopped. Vets have treated the stray for a broken leg and bruising and he's now in a police pound looking for new owner. "He's a very lucky boy. He was saved because he was hit so hard. Any softer and he would have bounced off the car and been crushed under the wheels," said a police spokesman. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:59AM (UTC) Glove puppet helps pygmy hippo start eating Chico caused keepers at his home in Heythrop Zoological Gardens concern when he began to refuse food. But the animal was lured back to his trough under the watchful eye of Gloria, a glove puppet based on the star character in DreamWorks children's film Madagascar. Zoo keepers at the private zoo near Chipping Norton in Oxfordshire said they had been "trying everything" to tempt the fussy eater back to his meals when they stumbled across the hippo glove puppet in a supermarket promotion.

Now keepers don the glove puppet to hand feed the diminutive hippo, a relative of the larger hippopotamus on whom Gloria is based, his favourite carrot treats. Despite his portly appearance, Chico had stopped feeding and was in danger of losing weight. In the wild, pygmy hippos can spend up to six hours a day eating, and need to consume one-and-a-half percent of their body weight every day to stay healthy. Head keeper, Michael Howes, was desperate to find a way to encourage the animal start eating, when he saw Gloria the Hippo being given away with washing detergent during a shopping trip. As a last resort he decided to use the toy to try to lure Chico to tuck back in. "We had been trying everything as Chico was refusing to feed and when I saw the Madagascar hippo puppet in the supermarket I thought I'd give it a try," Mr Howes said. "We were extremely surprised when he took a liking to Gloria and we have been using it to feed him ever since." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 03:04PM (UTC) Snake man inserts live snake up nose and out of mouth Manu, 31, from the southern city of Chennai, claims to have experimented with almost all varieties of snakes, including cobras, common kraits, sand boas and rat snakes but said his favourite was the cobra because of its ferocious agility. Manu, a high school drop-out, said that as an eight-year-old he would amuse his classmates by inserting chalk and erasers into his nostrils and pulling them out through his mouth, before deciding to try the unusual alternative of live snakes. He passes the snake through the passage which connects the back of the throat to the nasal cavity. The married father-of-two said: "I got the idea to feed snakes through my nose while I was attending a yoga class aged 13. "My guru made me believe that every person has the ability to do something unique. All my friends used to do different tricks and I also wanted to do something different.

"I first practised with a wire. I used to put wire into my nose and pull it through my mouth. I also used to pull threads and chalk. Then I switched to snakes. This is how I started." Admitting he has been bitten several times while attempting the bizarre trick, Manu claims to shrug off the pain. "Sometimes it hurts, particularly if a big snake bites me, but I concentrate on being relaxed through yoga techniques. "Doing this has brought me many fans and I love to entertain them. "I want to tell the world that I am proud of India - I hope everyone sees my feats so that they are inspired to try something unique of their own." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 03:05PM (UTC)

Tuesday, November 18, 2008 I've paid my tax Posted by goldenlad at 09:36AM (UTC)

Horny Bitch Posted by goldenlad at 12:31PM (UTC)

Whoops, more data loss. A list showing the full contact details of British National Party activists has been published online. The BNP says the list, which includes home phone numbers and e-mail addresses, dates from 2007 and some people are no longer members. BNP deputy leader Simon Darby called it "an underhand political attack", saying an ex-employee was to blame. Party leader Nick Griffin has complained to Dyfed Powys Police, who are investigating. Mr Darby said the publication could lead to identity theft and endanger children named in the list. He believes it was posted on Monday night by an ex-employee who had used it to send out party information to members. Earlier this year the party obtained an injunction from the High Court in Manchester banning any publication of the list. The anti-immigration party has won council seats in recent years, and took a London Assembly seat in May. Source Posted by goldenlad at 09:53PM (UTC)

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Roomba Driver

Posted by goldenlad at 07:47AM (UTC) Hello Janet! Posted by goldenlad at 09:23AM (UTC)

Derelict council flat converted into a den of sparkling blue crystals Roger Hiorns, the British artist, created Seizure by pumping 75,000 litres of copper sulphate solution into a south London flat to create crystalline growth on the walls, floor, ceiling and bath of the empty home. Since opening two months ago, 15,000 members of the public have visited 157 Harper Road, a derelict council flat near Elephant and Castle, to view the unexpected physical forms. The walls and ceilings are covered in blue copper sulphate, and every surface has the royal blue crystals hanging from the fittings. Mr Hiorns began his project by reinforcing the walls and ceiling, and covering the pipes with plastic sheets, before pumping up to 80,000 litres of posionous copper sulphate solution into the property through a hole in the ceiling from the flat above. After three weeks, when the temperature of the solution dropped, the crystals began to precipitate. Finally, any remaining liquid was pumped back out, and the "total crystallisation" process was finished.

The skeleton of the flat is still visible: walls, ceiling and all the bathroom fittings, including a bath covered in blue stalactites. Visitors are required to wear rubber boots and gloves before entering. The show has been now been extended until the end of the month, when it will be returned to the council for demolition. The 36-year-old Goldsmith's graduate has a reputation for creating quirky art and has previously encrusted little models of Chartres cathedral and Notre Dame in crystals. He has also made works with detergent, disinfectant, semen, and fire. Mr Hiorns described Seizure as "a pure system of nature" taking over a space which was once someone's home. "It is interesting to apply a system of nature , which is very much its own process , to this house which was once a bedsit," he told Channel 4 news.

Seizure can be seen at 157 Harper Road, London SE1 until 30 November 2008, Thursday-Saturday 11am-5pm. Please note Seizure is closed Monday-Wednesday. Admission is free. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 09:24AM (UTC) Student who phones for opera ticket offered a starring role Adriano Graziani, who is switching from a career in banking to become a full-time singer, was asked if he would stand in for the tenor who had fallen ill with a cold. Graziani, 32, had called up for tickets to a gala concert last month by the Welsh National Opera (WNO). He had less than two hours to remind himself of the scores and make his way to the Millennium Centre in Cardiff for a last-minute rehearsal before the evening show. His performance, to an audience of more than 200 at a gala event, was so well-received that he has been asked to perform a lead role with the WNO in a production of La BohĂ¨me next year. Mr Graziani, who was already known to the WNO through his studentship at the Cardiff International Academy of Voice, told The Times he was trying to buy a ticket for a Friends of Welsh National Opera performance in Cardiff. He said: "I thought it would be nice to be in the audience for a change so I called up to

buy a ticket. The man who answered the phone knew me vaguely and asked, 'You're a tenor, aren't you? I don't suppose you are free tonight? Our tenor is ill'." Mr Graziani, who has also studied at the Royal College of Music, said: "Being half-Italian and half-Welsh I had dreamt of one day singing Italian opera with the WNO â&#x20AC;&#x201C; it's in my blood â&#x20AC;&#x201C; but even getting an audition is hard enough." A spokesman for the WNO said: "This is a great example of us nurturing new opera talent. We have high hopes for Adriano." Mr Graziani is hoping to join the list of singers who have had a lucky break before becoming stars. Perhaps the best known is Paul Potts, who was manager of a branch of Carphone Warehouse when he won the television show Britain's Got Talent last year with his rendition of popular favourite, Nessun dorma from Puccini's Turandot. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 02:04PM (UTC) Grinding away Posted by goldenlad at 02:10PM (UTC)

Oz driver pulled with todger in pasta sauce jar An Oz driver has been fined AU$600 for "offensive behaviour, resisting police and disobeying a police direction" after cracking one off into a pasta sauce jar even as coppers attempted to subdue him with batons and capsicum spray following a "slow-speed" car chase through Newcastle, New South Wales. The drama began when officers spotted Keith Roy Weatherley, 46, "parked in a no-stopping zone near Nobby's Beach on October 26". According to the Newcastle Herald, they thought he "might have a weapon"* since he was "doing something with his hands in his lap". He was in fact "partially clothed with his genitals in a jar", a police report explained. The perp made a dash for it, was pulled, refused to exit the vehicle and four officers were obliged to persuade him from his car.

The law enforcement operatives identified "a 750mm** jar around his penis" and said Weatherley gamely insisted on continuing to pleasure himself "between bouts of wrestling". A search of Weatherley's motor uncovered "pornography, a homemade sex aid, women's stockings and a Jack Russell terrier". He pleaded guilty to the aforementioned raft of charges yesterday at Newcastle Local Court. The role of the Jack Russell in the incident is not noted. Source Posted by goldenlad at 03:12PM (UTC) The OMFG Wedding Of The Year Click the pic to check out the rest of this wonderful photo album! Posted by goldenlad at 08:37PM (UTC)

Killer biscuits Posted by goldenlad at 11:05PM (UTC)

Thursday, November 20, 2008 Lost cockatiel reunited with owners after speaking to them on phone The woman who found Smokey was given the number of a couple who had lost their cockatiel, but wanted to confirm that the bird belonged to them.

She phoned them, then put the bird on the phone. On hearing his owner's voice at the end of the line the two-year-old bird immediately squawked its own name - the first word that had passed its beak in days. It was enough to reassure the rescuer that she was speaking to the right people. Smokey went missing over the weekend after flying out of the door of David Edwards' home in Gwersyllt, near Wrexham. His adventure in the wild came to an end two miles away in Bellevue Park in the town when he perched on accountant Sue Hill's shoulder. She took him in and phoned the RSPCA which put her in touch with Mr Edwards who had reported his cockatiel missing. "I was given a phone number for the man, Mr Edwards, but I wanted to be sure he was the actual owner," she said. "I called and spoke to his wife who told me her pet was called Smokey and asked me to put him on the phone. "As soon as he heard her voice, he stopped chirping and began saying 'Smokey,' it was very funny. "That was the first time the bird had spoken and it was then I was sure that he belonged to them." Mr Edwards said he was "over the moon" to have Smokey back after a "heartbreaking" weekend. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:00AM (UTC) Sliced Barbie dolls become sinister fashion accessory The disturbing range is made from sliced parts of the popular toy.

Barbie's breasts have even been transformed into an eye-catching necklace and a pair of earrings features a string of Barbie ears. The unusual collection, created by New York designer Margaux Lange, has caught the eye of fashion-conscious gifthunters who have been buying up items such as a pendant made from one of Barbie's eyes costing about ÂŁ110. There are even accessories made from parts of Barbie's boyfriend Ken. Ms Lange, 29, said her extraordinary handmade items were inspired by a childhood love of Barbie, the 'plastic princess'. She said: "Barbie dolls were extremely significant in fuelling my creative life as a child. They were an invaluable tool for the expansion of my imagination then and, ironically, Barbie continues to be such for me as an adult. "I am fascinated with who she is as a cultural icon, her distinguished celebrity status and the enormous impact she has had on our society." The jewellery echoes the dismembered dolls left by a killer in the television drama Dexter. A dismembered doll is left as a clue by a serial killer in the popular American drama serial Dexter. The jewellery can be ordered from Ms Lange's website or through her UK stockist Hannah Zakari Barbie was launched in 1959 by American toy company Mattel. The American businesswoman Ruth Handler is regarded as the creator of the doll. It is believed three dolls are sold every second in more than 150 countries worldwide. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 12:24PM (UTC) Garden gnome maker's plastic prostitutes Neighbours in Lilieci, Bacau county, complain the realistic figures distract motorists and are an unsuitable sight for local children.

Cristi Birgu, 27, who has just set up his business, defends his "aggressive advertising" and says the dummies will remain outside his house to drum up trade. Apart from garden gnomes and prostitutes, he makes reproductions of Laurel and Hardy, Elvis, sports stars, cartoon characters and animals. Mr Birgu said: "So far, my girls have attracted a lot of beeping from truck drivers but not too many customers. Sometimes I am afraid somebody might have an accident, arrested by the view, you know." Resident Gheorghe N said: "I don't think it's moral to display such objects on the street. "They are a bad influence especially for children not to mention there are a lot of people with respect for God here and who don't tolerate such things." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 01:34PM (UTC) Two-headed cat meows through both mouths However, the cat has a cleft palate and can only eat through one mouth. Only one in a million kittens is born with two heads and it is unusual for this one to be doing so well. In August a kitten with four eyes, two noses and one mouth was born in Ohio, but it died after five days. The condition is thought to be more common among snakes and turtles. The cat was delivered in a vet's surgery in Perth, Western Australia, after its mother experienced complications during the birth. Louisa Burgess, who helped deliver the cat told the Australian website InMyCommunity.co.au: "I have seen cats with two tails and extra legs, but not this. "It has a full tummy and it survived the night so that is a good sign. It seems content, it meows and purrs.

"This is the result of a congenital deformity. Something has gone wrong in the early embryonic development," she added. The grey and white feline will be closely monitored in the next few days but appears to be healthy. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 03:10PM (UTC)

Friday, November 21, 2008 Single Ladies Parody

Posted by goldenlad at 07:43AM (UTC) Spongbob avoids the dole queue Posted by goldenlad at 09:20AM (UTC)

Registration plates spelling out terrorism, religion and sex banned The Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency (DVLA) keeps a list of plates that it has not approved because of words formed by their sequence of numbers and letters, an MP has found. Reportedly included on the list is 054MA, which could be seen to resemble the first name of Osama bin Laden, the al-Qa'eda chief. Other terrorism-related banned plates are H057AGE (hostage), MA56ACA (massacre), HE580LA (Hezbollah) and even BU580MB (bus bomb). The DVLA is also thought to prohibit combinations resembling jihad or Hamas.

Also said to be on the banned list are plates whose contents refer to religions or that could be seen to incite racial hatred. Included on these grounds are reportedly M056LEM (Muslim) and others resembling words like Jesus or Koran. GA550VN (gas oven) and G005TEP (goose step), both of which could be seen to have connections with activities by Nazi Germany during the Second World War, are also reported to have been prevented. The list even spans themes including sexual activity and alcohol, it is claimed, with combinations such as B004ZZY (boozy) and anything containing SEX also prohibited. A spokesman for the DVLA told The Sun: "Every number is checked to ensure it does not offend". Norman Baker, the Liberal Democrat transport spokesman, who unearthed the list, told the newspaper: "Some combinations would be deeply offensive. But it's over the top to ban words about booze and sex. It's a bit 'nanny state'."+ Source

Posted by goldenlad at 10:34AM (UTC) Long lost brothers Posted by goldenlad at 01:37PM (UTC)

What's going on here? Posted by goldenlad at 09:10PM (UTC)

David Bowie Is Very Disappointed in You

Posted by goldenlad at 10:46PM (UTC)

Saturday, November 22, 2008 The English Madonna When Madonna first moved to England she said she wanted to feel more English. She is now an unmarried, single mother with three kids from different fathers, one of them black. Job well done!!!!! Posted by goldenlad at 08:45AM (UTC)

Panda attacks Chinese man who wanted a cuddle A panda at a zoo in southern China attacked a student who snuck into its pen hoping for a cuddle with the endangered bear, state media said on Saturday. The 20-year-old male student surnamed Liu jumped over the fence at the zoo in the tourist city of Guilin, ignoring warning signs not to, Xinhua news agency said. "The panda, named Yangyang, was wide awake. Apparently scared by the intruder, he bit at Liu's arms and legs," it quoted an unnamed worker as saying after zoo keepers managed to calm the bear and rescue Liu, the report said. "Yangyang was so cute and I just wanted to cuddle him," Liu was quoted as saying from his hospital bed. "I didn't expect he would attack." Scientists believe fewer than 2,000 giant pandas live in the wild in China. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 09:27AM (UTC) Posted by goldenlad at 11:32AM (UTC) Posted by goldenlad at 11:32AM (UTC)

'I unwittingly ate human flesh' A radio presenter was left stunned today when a listener called his show and claimed she had unwittingly eaten human flesh. DJ Graham Mack had issued a challenge to listeners to find the most unusual thing they had eaten. He had come up with the idea for Monday's show to coincide with the return of TV's I'm A Celebrity .. Get Me Out Of Here!, which started the previous evening. He took a flood of calls giving the type of exotic cuisine he had expected, including snails, sea urchins, monkey brains and dog and horse. But when he received a call from a woman who once said she had eaten human flesh, he did not know what to say. The caller, only known as Anthea, told the show on Teeside-base station TFM: 'I've eaten human being.'

Mr Mack slowly replied: 'Oh my goodness. Right, all bets are off. You can't beat that. How

come you were a cannibal?' She answered: 'It was when I was a child when I lived in Africa. We always went to the same butcher and then suddenly - we were there a couple of years - the meat started to get so much better. 'It was only when we moved back to England a couple of years later that we realised that the butcher had been arrested because he farmed little black girls." There were gasps in the studio. Anthea added: "We didn't know at the time. According to my mum it was very delicious.' The DJ replied: 'So what do you think it was? You thought it was beef?' She said: "My mum said yes, she was just buying mince." There were further gasps before someone in the background said: 'That's horrific.' Mr Mack added: 'You are the winner this morning. Goodness me. I don't even know what to say. I had no idea we would get this call this morning. Wow.' Breakfast show producer Matt Bailey said: "The phone topic was 'what have you eaten?' We had people ringing up saying they had eaten snails, oysters, Play-Doh and soil, then out of the blue we get Anthea, who says she has eaten humans. 'It was one of the strangest calls we have ever had. Graham was taken aback 'We were all in shock really at what we were hearing.' Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:40AM (UTC) Clairvoyant banned from claiming she can cure all ills because she cannot prove it Sister Charlotte, a crystal ball, tarot card and palm reader from Chorlton, Manchester, claimed to be able to solve problems in love, marriage, business, exams and even immigration.

The Advertising Standards Authority challenged her to prove it. When she couldn't, it ordered her to tone down her adverts. The ruling followed a single complaint from a man who found a leaflet promoting the psychic's '100 per cent success rate'. Sister Charlotte, 33, said her technique which aims to remove 'negative energies' and replace them with positive ones - can change lives. She said: "A man phoned out of the blue asking how I can claim to do all this. But I don't claim to cure cancer or solve devastating marriage problems. "I speak to my clients. They tell me I am effective at removing negative energies and relieving their physical, emotional and spiritual problems. "I am 100 per cent successful with people who come to see me. If someone does not think the treatment works, I give them a refund. Some people don't understand." The leaflet said: "Sister Charlotte can do many great things for you! Remember, no matter how big you think your problems are, they are not impossible to solve." The Advertising Standards Agency demanded evidence of Sister Charlotte's abilities. They said: "We considered claims that marketers could successfully solve all problems, break curses, banish evil spirits, improve the health, wealth, love life, happiness or other circumstances of readers should be avoided because they were likely to be impossible to prove. Sister Charlotte's claims were unsubstantiated and likely to mislead." The ASA has received 174 complaints about 171 psychics' ads over the past two years. A spokesman said cracking down on the small number was important to avoid misleading the public. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:44AM (UTC) Del Boy's Robin Reliant goes up for sale The Peckham trader's yellow Robin Reliant from the TV comedy "Only Fools and Horses" is set to sell for what the man himself would regard as a cushty price when it goes under the hammer this week.

The rusting 600cc three-wheeler featured in a 2002 Christmas Special of the cult televi-

sion programme and it is expected to fetch up to ÂŁ30,000 when it's auctioned at Bonhams on Tuesday. The sought-after item bears the now legendary logo 'Trotters Independent Trading Co. New York, Paris, Peckham' and comes complete with furry dice and a pair of leopard skin knickers. It even has a smoke machine to belch out the famous clouds of smoke which billowed from the exhaust when Del, played by David Jason, made a quick get away. A set of blow-up dolls can be found in the boot - although these are not set to explode as they did with the show. Source Posted by goldenlad at 11:41PM (UTC)

Sunday, November 23, 2008 Clergyman apologises after posting photos of exhumed coffin through widow's letterbox A clergyman has apologised to an elderly widow after he posted photos of her late husband's exhumed coffin through her letterbox. The Rev David Thomas was trying to settle a dispute with grieving relatives of George Hill who feared he had been buried in the wrong plot in their village churchyard. But the 80-year-old rector ended up causing them more upset, after his gravedigger uncovered the coffin without getting permission from the authorities and without the family present. Mr Thomas took photos of the freshly exhumed grave to prove that Mr Hill's body had been buried correctly, then drove to the widow's home and got a choirboy to push the pictures through the door. He has now been forced to apologise to the miner's family, who say they have been left shocked by the insensitive handling of their case. Mr Thomas, who has worked at St John the Baptist Church in Armitage, near Lichfield, since 1966, said: "The gravedigger rang me and said 'I am down the church yard digging up the Hill grave'. I went down there and quickly took some photographs. "A choirboy who was in the car with me offered to get out and post them through the

door. "I wish it had never happened." Mr Hill's widow Martha and their daughter Mary had been tending his grave in a newly opened section of the cemetery at St John the Baptist since his funeral in February this year. They were planning to erect a headstone to coincide with his birthday in December, but a dispute then broke out over the whereabouts of his burial plot. The family claim the rector admitted he did not know in which plot the coffin had been placed, while the church insists it was the relatives who were confused. The family say they were horrified to discover that the only way to establish where Mr Hill had been buried was to have the coffin excavated and its nameplate checked. His daughter said: "I was very upset then, and said to [the rector], this is not a tin of beans from Morrisons we are talking about, this is my Dad." She agreed to the procedure to put her mind at rest and was waiting to be invited to witness it, but in the meantime the local gravedigger began digging up the grave without first obtaining permission for digging up consecrated ground from the Chancellor of Lichfield diocese. The clergyman could not find the family to tell them that the excavation was taking place, so instead took his camera to the churchyard and took a series of photos showing the nameplate on the unearthed coffin and the surrounding ground to show Mr Hill had been placed in the right plot. He believed Mr Hill's widow wished to see the photos herself, so drove to her home and got a choirboy who was in the car with him to post them through the letterbox. But Mr Hill's daughter claims she was trying to keep the fiasco secret from her mother, and that she was horrified to be sent photos of her late husband's coffin without warning. She said "She was distraught. We had not told her what had been going on because she is almost 78 and we thought it would be too much for her. "So imagine her shock when she opened that envelope and there was a picture of Dad's coffin inside. It has really knocked her about." A spokesman for the diocese said: "The family received an apology for the fact that the excavation took place when they were not present. "And the rector should have applied for a faculty before the excavation but did not." Asked about the delivery of the photographs, the spokesman added: "It shouldn't have been done in that way at all."

Source Posted by goldenlad at 10:24AM (UTC) High speed video of man blowing raspberry

Posted by goldenlad at 10:24AM (UTC) Mr Men for grown ups

Posted by goldenlad at 12:27PM (UTC) Posted by goldenlad at 08:19PM (UTC)

Monday, November 24, 2008 Bacon flavoured chocolate bar is a sell out The unusual chocolate bar, called Mo's Bacon Bar, contains chunks of applewood smoked bacon combined with smoked salt and milk chocolate. Despite a price tag of £5.99 per 3oz, Selfridges – the only UK stockist – has sold its entire stock of several hundred bars within 48 hours. The department store has ordered more supplies for its four outlets, to be sold in time for the christmas period. The American manufacturer Vosges Haut-Chocolat, based in Chicago, encourages firsttime buyers to "engage your five senses … let the lust of salt and sweet coat your tongue". Ewan Venters, food and restaurant director at Selfridges, said: "Bacon and chocolate sounds like a strange combination, but the execution is fantastic. It's a real explosion of flavours and people love it. "Some of the combinations were really surprising like putting curry in chocolate but it works" he told the Daily Mail. "There has been a real revolution in luxury chocolate, as there was with wine a few years ago. People are much more knowledgeable about it and there is a growing demand for these high quality, exotic products instead of a box of Milk Tray." Vosges Haut-Chocolat sells other exotic flavours including: chocolate with mushrooms and peanut butter, sweet Indian curry and chocolate and Mexican ancho and chipotle chillies with chocolate.

Katrina Markoff, owner and chocolatier, uses original methods of French confectionery to create the sweets, which she learned during her training at Le Cordon Bleu in Paris. Source Posted by goldenlad at 10:57AM (UTC) Mystery piano in woods perplexes police Was it a theft? A prank? A roundabout effort to bring some holiday cheer to the police? Authorities in Harwich, Massachusetts, are probing the mysterious appearance of a piano, in good working condition, in the middle of the woods. Discovered by a woman who was walking a trail, the Baldwin Acrosonic piano, model number 987, is intact -- and, apparently, in tune. Sgt. Adam Hutton of the Harwich Police Department said information has been broadcast to all the other police departments in the Cape Cod area in hopes of drumming up a clue, however minor it may be. But so far, the investigation is flat. Also of note: Near the mystery piano -- serial number 733746 -- was a bench, positioned as though someone was about to play. The piano was at the end of a dirt road, near a walking path to a footbridge in the middle of conservation land near the Cape. It took a handful of police to move the piano into a vehicle to transport it to storage, so it would appear that putting it into the woods took more than one person. Asked whether Harwich police will be holding a holiday party in the storage bay -- tickling the ivories, pouring eggnog -- while they await word of the piano's origin and fate, Hutton laughed. No such plans. Harwich police have had some fun, though. Among the photos they sent to the news media is one of Officer Derek Dutra examining the piano in the woods. The police entitled the photo "Liberace." Source Posted by goldenlad at 10:58AM (UTC) â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;I got a car parking fine, but Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m blind!â&#x20AC;&#x2122;

A blind student was hounded by bailiffs for a parking fine on a car that did not belong to him.

Mark White, 39, from Welling, was sent bailiff letters demanding him to pay ÂŁ571.76 resulting from a parking fine on a car he never owned. Despite being registered blind with Bexley council for four years and giving up his driving licence 15 years ago, the engineering student had to contact the DVLA and the police himself to prove the car was not his. He proved his identity was stolen and someone had registered the Escort with the registration L508 XAE in his name two years ago. Despite this, he was told by a council worker last Wednesday that he still could not be removed from their enquiries. Mr White, a student at Greenwich University said: "They want me to do all the running around. How can I have a car? "They don't seem to see me being blind as not being able to drive a car. I have been registered blind with them since 2004 but they think I still own a car. I drive a guide dog! "This has been such a kick in the teeth. "It has gone on enough. I have been to the police and I have been to the council. "I asked DVLA staff to send me the registration form which had different hand writing from mine. I am just fed up with all the stress they have caused my family. "I can't get it through to them." It was only after the Times contacted the council that it confirmed that no further action would be taken against Mr White. A spokesperson for Bexley council said: "Bexley has cancelled this ticket and halted any action by bailiffs. "We apologise for the distress caused but we rely on the information provided to us by the DVLA. We will be writing to Mr White to confirm the issue has been dropped." Mr White was told all the informa tion Bexley council received about parking fines is automated. He said: "I am on the Bexley council blind list. Some alarm bells should have been going." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:00AM (UTC) Reptiles now more popular pets than dogs in UK Reptiles like snakes, geckos and bearded dragons have become such popular pets that they now outnumber dogs, new research has found. Calculations by the British Federation of Herpetologists (BFH) indicate that there are now as many as eight million reptiles and amphibians being kept as pets in the UK. This compares to an estimated dog population of 6.5 million. The growth in reptile numbers is so rapid that within years they will overtake the country's nine million cats to become Britain's most popular pets. Chris Newman, chairman of the Federation, said: "There are now, without question, more pet reptiles than pet dogs in the UK. You only have to look at the way the market has grown. I have no doubt that there are now between seven and eight million reptiles living as pets in the UK. "Reptiles' popularity as mainstream pets has grown immensely. There has been an explosion in numbers. They have moved from being niche to being mainstream. "They are far more suitable as pets than are animals which are perceived as more traditional pets, such as cats, dogs and small mammals. Reptiles fit today's modern lifestyles as they are less time-consuming, and can also be easier to keep, than other traditional pet species." Reptiles are relatively cheap to buy and to keep, Most are kept in heated tanks for at least part of the day. They require less upkeep than other caged animals, as the little waste they produce is solid and dry. The population has been calculated through analysis of suppliers of reptile food â&#x20AC;&#x201C; insects and mice. Source Posted by goldenlad at 11:01AM (UTC) 'Our sofa is haunted' A Bristol family claim their sofa is haunted. Receptionist Christine Strange, of Bristol, says her couch has started making weird noises that are getting louder and louder. "One Sunday morning I sat down on it with a cup of tea and suddenly heard this odd squeaky noise. "I thought I must be going mad but Poppy, my Yorkshire terrier, heard it too.

"She started sniffing around but then got scared and ran away.

"It could be an alien for all we know. The noise is getting louder and louder. I'm scared it's going to come bursting out one evening while we're watching TV." The Sun reports husband Nigel, 54, refuses to sit on the sofa. But experts say Britain is suffering a bad dose of supernatural apparitions. Nick Pope, described as a former X Files expert for Britain's Ministry of Defence, said: "There are more UFO sightings and more reports of other weird phenomena than I can recall from any previous year." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:04AM (UTC) Surely Flickr's not that expensive?

Posted by goldenlad at 07:21PM (UTC)

Tuesday, November 25, 2008 Dungeness named one of world's most authentic tourist destinations The Kent town is one of 12 British locations â&#x20AC;&#x201C; including Leeds and the remote Scottish county of Wigtownshire â&#x20AC;&#x201C; contained in a Top 50 list compiled by travel experts and commentators. Dungeness was nominated by philosopher Alain de Botton, who described it as a "beautiful rugged stretch of shingle coast, dotted with vividly painted clapboard houses", and encouraged visitors to ignore the "unprepossessing" nuclear power station that dominates the beach. "For decades, artists and writers, most famously the late Derek Jarman, have been drawn by the sublime empty skies and bracing winds," he added. The list, compiled for the British Airways High Life magazine, also honours the authenticity of the towns of Deal and Ramsgate in Kent, Lewes in West Sussex, Hastings in East Sussex, Salcombe in South Devon, the Holderness Coast in Yorkshire and Ludlow in Shropshire. The eccentric village of Portmeirion in North Wales and and Causeway Coast are Northern Ireland are also included.

Leeds in West Yorkshire is praised as a city where the bus drivers still call you "luv" and where "the tourist can experience a different way of living in a city", while Wigtownshire is described as "so quiet and remote that visiting becomes a spiritual experience". The list, which honours locations that have not sold out their roots or exaggerated their historical importance to attract tourists, also includes Hanoi in Vietnam and Zanzibar in Tanzania. Source Posted by goldenlad at 09:11AM (UTC) Woman sues TV station over obesity programme TV bosses are facing a ÂŁ10,000 lawsuit after filming a passer-by on the street for a documentary about obese people. Gordana Knezic, 40, said she had no idea that Croatian station HTV were filming her as she shopped in the capital Zagreb . She says she was horrified to see herself on TV later described as an example of an overweight person. Programme-makers say they have already apologised. HTV spokesman Janos Roemer said: "We have been in contact with the lady concerned." But Ms Knezic said she would still be taking them to court. She said: "I was absolutely staggered when I turned on the TV to see myself in a film about fat people. "It was terrible. An apology is not enough. I want to make a point with this legal case. I want to show that attacks on human dignity like this cannot be tolerated." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:08AM (UTC) Judge sentences offenders to listen to Barry Manilow A US judge is punishing noise polluters by forcing them to listen to the likes of Barry Manilow. Judge Paul Sacco, from Fort Lupton, Colorado, makes persistent noise nuisances listen to music they hate, reports the Daily Mirror. He claims his method of making offenders sit in a room and listen to music they don't like for one hour has seen a massive drop in the number of repeat offenders in the small town.

"These people should have to listen to music they don't like," Mr Sacco told local news station KUSA-TV. "Most kids don't want to hear somebody like Glenn Close trying to sing opera," he said. Sacco brought in the punishment when he noticed that many of the repeat offenders simply showed up at his courtroom to pay their fine with cash. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:09AM (UTC) My parrot bonked my feather hat Horrified Jackie Lucking woke to find her parrot bonking her feather hat — while she was wearing it! Her pet Shrek flew into a lust-filled frenzy after swallowing nine SlimNSexy diet pills, which also boost sex drive. Mum-of-three Jackie, 40, of Witham, Essex, had nodded off wearing the hat after a christening. She said: “He turned into a maniac. All he wanted was to get his wing over, it’s disgusting.” Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:10AM (UTC) Juror dismissed from a trial after using Facebook to help make a decision The woman posted details of the child abduction and sex assault case on the social networking site. She then invited friends to help her decide whether the defendents were guilty or innocent. "I don't know which way to go, so I'm holding a poll" she wrote. Under the British constitution and in the interests of a fair trial, jurors are forbidden from discussing details of cases even with their closest family members. The woman was dismissed from Burnley Crown Court, Lancshire, after a court official recieved the anoymous tip off. It was believed the she did not use any privacy settings on her profile, so the Facebook posts could be read by anyone.

Although the trial continued with 11 jurors, legal experts said the juror risked being charged with contempt of court and the trial could have collapased. "She had been asking her mates what they thought â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and some people came back with guilty verdicts" a source told the Sun. "Not discussing trials is one of the most important things jurors are told and is essential for a fair trial," the paper was told. Yesterday a courts service spokesman confirmed the juror was dismissed last week. Portuguese Nelson Claudino, 26, and Farooq Ahmed, 27, and Hardeep Singh, 32, both of Leicester, were cleared of child abduction at the trial. Ahmed and Claudino were acquitted of sex with a girl of 14 and Claudino was cleared of a serious sex assault. He earlier admitted raping a 12-year-old girl and will be sentenced next month. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:11AM (UTC) Man who celebrates Christmas every day scaling back celebrations due to credit crunch A man who has celebrated Christmas every day for the last 14 years with a full roast dinner, champagne and presents is scaling back his celebrations because of the credit crunch, it was revealed today. Andy Park, known as Mr Christmas, has munched his way through 117,600 sprouts, quaffed 5,110 bottles of Moet, and sent himself more than 230,000 Christmas cards since his festive fetish began. But this year the 44-year-old electrician, from Melksham, Wiltshire, is having to make swingeing cuts to keep his unique devotion to Yuletide on the road. Divorced Mr Park said: 'I've been through 37 electric ovens and worn out 23 video recorders by watching the Queen's Speech every day. I've also sent myself 235,206 Christmas cards. But these days the postage is so dear I'm having to deliver them myself.

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'The credit crunch is getting to me big time and I may even have to cut out the champagne and start singing for my Christmas dinner.

'The lunch with all the trimmings and alcohol is costing in excess of ÂŁ150 a week, but I'm fighting hard not to let the financial crisis ruin the celebrations. 'I'm not being tight but a few of the little extras are having to go. I'm only having one Christmas tree this year, instead of two, and I'm cutting back on the Christmas lights because of energy bills. 'I used to get a 14lb turkey, now I'm going for a 9lb one. I refuse to compromise on champagne and always have Moet, but now I'm having to make it last two days.' Every morning since July 14 1994, the father of one has breakfasted on mince pies and sherry, before opening the presents he has bought for himself. Then he eats a full roast turkey lunch and watches the Queen's Speech on video, his favourite being her 'annus horribilis' address. When he last took stock of his intake in October, Mr Park calculated that he had consumed 5,110 turkeys, 94,080 mince pies, 28,224 roast potatoes, and opened 204,400 Christmas crackers. This December 25 he will be buying himself a new suit, but in a more economically secure year he treated himself to a Mercedes. Mr Park is hoping the situation improves so he can pay the ÂŁ70,000 an undertaker has quoted him for a Christmas themed funeral. The plan demands that all mourners dress as Father Christmas, watch the Queen's Speech on a giant screen, and say goodbye to Mr Park in a coffin full of Brussels sprouts. Noddy Holder, of Slade, will also be asked to sing the band's famous festive hit, Merry Christmas Everybody. Explaining the moment his life changed, Mr Park said: 'I'll never forget the day it started. The sun was shining, but I was just feeling fed up and bored, so I went home and put the decorations up. Suddenly I was happy. I thought, this is fun. So I did it again the next day, and the day after that. 'Since then my routine every day has been to get up and have seven or eight mince pies and glass of sherry for breakfast. 'After that I open the presents I've wrapped for myself. Later, after I've gone out to work, I'll maybe watch a Christmas film like The Great Escape. 'People do think I'm crackers, but I enjoy treating myself and I'm the only one in the world who does it. Others have tried to copy me, but they can't last. 'When people come to my house it turns a sad face into a smiling one, and the happiness stays with them.

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'My daughter used to love celebrating it with me but she's in her 20s now and people started teasing her a bit. I think her dad was a bit of an embarrassment.' Source Posted by goldenlad at 11:12AM (UTC) Cat in a twist

Posted by goldenlad at 11:17AM (UTC) Fake penis drug test creators face jail The Whizzinator is a prosthetic penis that comes with a heating element and fake urine. U S Attorney Mary Beth Buchanan's office says the goal of it and another device called Number 1 was to help people pass drug tests. George Wills and Robert Catalano each pleaded guilty Monday to two conspiracy counts and face up to eight years in prison, a $500 million (ÂŁ334,000) fine or both. They owned the California-based internet company Puck Technology and the devices were sold from 2005 to 2008. "The Whizzinator is the ultimate solution for a drug testing device," says a statement on the website of the California-based company, which calls itself the "undisputed leader in synthetic urine." "The prosthetic penis is very realistic and concealing is simple, while our quality production and materials assures you that the Whizzinator will let it flow again and again, anytime, anywhere you need it!" Mr Catalano and Mr Wills pleaded guilty to conspiracy to sell drug paraphernalia and conspiracy to defraud the United States government. Puck Technology also pleaded guilty to the same charges. The company has stopped operating. Mr Wills and Mr Catalano appeared before a federal court in Pittsburgh and are scheduled to be sentenced in February.

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Source

Posted by goldenlad at 06:25PM (UTC) Bush dissed by world leaders

Posted by goldenlad at 08:23PM (UTC) Pianist's dying wish fulfilled as David Tennant uses his skull in Hamlet performance When André Tchaíkowsky died of cancer in 1982 aged 46 he donated his body for medical science. But he added the proviso that his skull "shall be offered by the institution receiving my body to the Royal Shakespeare Company for use in theatrical performance." Since then it has only been used in rehearsals because no actor felt comfortable enough using it on stage in front of an audience. David Howells, curator of the RSC's archives, said: "In 1989 the actor Mark Rylance rehearsed with it for quite a while but he couldn't get past the fact it wasn't Yorick's, it was André Tchaíkowsky's." Now, unbeknown to the paying public, Dr Who actor Tennant has used the skull in 22 performances of Hamlet in Stratford-upon-Avon. Director Greg Doran explained why he didn't want anyone to know. He said: "I thought it would topple the play and it would be all about David acting with a real skull." Polish-born Tchaíkowsky was smuggled out of the Warsaw ghetto in 1942 to the city of Lodz, before settling in Paris and later England. He lived in Oxford for a time and loved going to the theatre in Stratford-upon-Avon. The skull will now travel with the Hamlet production to the Novello Theatre in London. Source Posted by goldenlad at 10:18PM (UTC)

Wednesday, November 26, 2008 Man releases hundreds of worms in train A Japanese man has been arrested for releasing hundreds of beetle larvae inside a moving express train to try to scare female passengers, police said. "I wanted to see women get scared and shake their legs," police quoted 35-year-old Man-

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abu Mizuta as saying. He was arrested on the spot by a patrolling police officer after releasing the creatures on the Keihan line in Osaka prefecture. "He would go close to women on the train, any woman, and pour out the worms from containers," said a police spokesman. Local police had been on alert after 18 similar cases of released worms had been reported this month by the same train operator. "When the arrest was made, the man had nearly emptied a container, which is believed to have held 200 worms," he said. "You cannot count them because there are so many." Mizuta had 10 containers in his backpack estimated to contain a total of 3,600 worms, police said. "We have the worms sitting inside the police station right now," the spokesman said. "You see them wriggling inside their clear cases. It's really disgusting." Posted by goldenlad at 11:08AM (UTC) Pagan couple make their new house a home by installing stone circle in garden When John and Suzy Burton decided to move to a smaller house, they informed the removal men that they would like to take a few precious stones with them. To be more precise, 13 huge rocks from the garden. Mr Burton, a druid, and his wife, a witch, were the proud owners of a stone circle which, they say, gives them positive energy. So when the pagan couple left their historic ÂŁ1million mansion, Abbotts Court in Weymouth, Dorset, a dozen men with a crane and a fleet of trucks took the rocks to their new home in Dorchester, ten miles away. Neighbours watched in amazement as the stones, each weighing between half and three-quarters of a ton, were placed in the garden. The couple - both antique dealers - had them aligned at special points around the extensive grounds of the ÂŁ600,000, six-bedroom property to encircle themselves with energy.

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Each was apparently placed along a ley line which runs from Maiden Castle, an Iron-Age

hill fort near Dorchester, through to Maumbury Rings, a Roman amphitheatre. Mrs Burton then invited 20 witches from her coven to dedicate the stone circle during a night-time ritual. The 60-year-old - whose mother and grandmother were witches - said: 'We had a blessing of the stones and we brought the energy back. 'You could feel the energy circling the stones. We feel they are a place between worlds. 'It's hard to describe the feeling you get when you are near these stones - but it is something extremely powerful. 'You can feel the energy pulsing around you, moving inside you - you feel at one with nature and get a real high.' The stone circle was erected in the ten-acre grounds of 11-bedroom Abbotts Court by Thomas Burberry, founder of the fashion house, in the early 1900s. Mr Burton, 64, and his wife, who teaches magic and witchcraft, discovered it when they bought the property in 1980 and planned to leave it as an historic landmark when they downsized and moved to Dorchester. But the property developer who bought the mansion threatened to throw out the stones if they were left behind. So the couple employed a specialist removal firm to rehome the rocks. Mrs Burton, who has five children and 12 grandchildren, said: 'It was a really big job bringing the stones with us. 'We had to employ about a dozen rather burly men and a crane to transport it all - but it was well worth it. Although I think a few of the neighbours were a little surprised, on the whole I think it's been really well received. 'We are so happy finally to have it all sorted. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;We were very upset at the thought of these stones just being dumped - but couldn't think of how we could get them with us. 'They've made such a difference to our lives. We were delighted when we realised we would be able to take the stones with us.' Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:09AM (UTC) Man jailed for Spiderpig insults

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A man has been jailed for breaching the peace by singing Spiderpig from The Simpsons Movie at police officers. David Mullen was sentenced to three months for the incident and calling an officer "ginger" in a police van. Mullen, 22, from Blairgowrie, claimed he was singing the ditty, performed by Homer in the cartoon, because it was the ringtone on his mobile phone. He was given a further eight months in prison for assaulting a police officer and breaching a curfew while on bail. 'Appalling road' Homer sings Spiderpig to the theme of Spiderman while walking a pig across the ceiling in The Simpsons Movie. Mullen sang the song to officers on 25 July while sitting in the back of a police van after being involved in a fight in Blairgowrie, Perthshire. Solicitor Paul Ralph, defending, said: "He started the song and that was the origin of the joke, but things went further. He felt he had not done anything to be apprehended for." Mullen breached his curfew on 30 October and assaulted a police officer on 2 November. Mr Ralph told Perth Sheriff Court that Mullen, of Harriet Row, had been abusing alcohol since the age of 12. Sheriff Robert McCreadie said: "It is tragic that you have taken alcohol for almost half of your life. You have a dreadful record for a man of 22. "It is now your decision if you want to continue down the tragic and appalling road you have chosen for yourself." Source Posted by goldenlad at 11:11AM (UTC) The Amazing Brick Stacking Man

Posted by goldenlad at 06:50PM (UTC)

Thursday, November 27, 2008 Zoo solves mystery of celibate polar bears

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Puzzled zookeepers in northern Japan have discovered the reason why their attempts to mate two polar bears kept failing: Both are female. The municipal zoo in the city of Kushiro in Hokkaido brought in a polar bear cub three years ago. They named it Tsuyoshi, after the popular baseball outfielder Tsuyoshi Shinjo,

and waited until it reached reproductive age. In June, the zoo introduced Tsuyoshi to its resident bear, an 11-year-old female named Kurumi, and waited for sparks to fly. But much to the disappointment of zookeepers, Tsuyoshi never made any amorous advances toward Kurumi. Earlier this month, zookeepers put Tsuyoshi under anesthesia to get to the bottom of the matter. That's when they made their discovery: Tsuyoshi is a female. Still, the Kushiro zoo plans to keep Tsuyoshi because he -- or rather, she -- has become immensely popular with visitors. "I have rather mixed feelings, given the need for breeding, but Tsuyoshi is an idol for Kushiro," Yoshio Yamaguchi, head of the Kushiro zoo, told Japan's Kyodo news agency. Tsuyoshi will even keep her name. "We will not be changing it to 'Tsuyoko' since it is loved by citizens (by the current name)," Yamaguchi said. "Ko" is a common suffix for a Japanese female name. Meanwhile, Tsuyoshi's "brother," who was adopted by another zoo, has also turned out to be female, Kyodo reported. Source Posted by goldenlad at 09:10AM (UTC) Testing bullet proof glass with your wife

Posted by goldenlad at 11:07AM (UTC) Police mistake widow's tomato plants for cannabis factory The officers burst in with sniffer dogs and took samples of the plants for analysis. Lulu Matheson, who has lived in the property in Shieldaig for 53 years, said she was shaken up by the encounter. Mrs Matheson told the Daily Mail: "I got a terrible fright and I couldn't understand what they were doing here because I knew we had nothing more than tomatoes in the window. I don't know what the neighbours must be thinking." Her 47-year-old son Gus, a former driver, was looking out of the window when he saw

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police cars stop outside. He said: "I wondered what on earth was going on. I opened the door and they more or less barged past, saying that I was growing cannabis on the windowsills. "I started laughing because I knew they were tomato plants but it wasn't so funny when they frisked me and then started tearing the house apart." Mr Matheson said he was held in the bedroom while officers searched the furniture and under the mattress. He also said that the police impounded the family's pet dogs. "They even 'arrested' Zac, our black labrador, and Moby, our Jack Russell, putting them in the back of one of the cop cars," Mr Matheson added. "And I just couldn't believe it when they brought sniffer dogs all the way from Alness, which is about two hours away." He went on: "Despite leaving with their tails between their legs, the police didn't even apologise." Mr Matheson, a keen gardener, grows tomatoes in the south-facing bedroom window. He said: "We always enjoy having a juicy home-grown tomato with our dinner and I've had fine crops this year." Mr Matheson is now making a formal complaint to Northern Constabulary. A police spokesman said: "We can confirm that, acting on information, we attended at an address in the Shieldaig area. "No drugs were found as a result of the search." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:08AM (UTC) Giant hairball pulled from girl's stomach An 11-year-old girl in Mumbai, India, was hospitalized with pain in her stomach, and surgeons were forced to operate. What they found was a foot-long hairball.

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The mass of hair -- known as a trichobozear - -is a potentially fatal result of a mental illness called trichotillomania, a condition in which the patient pulls her hair out and, in many cases, eats it. And while the condition is not well known, American

doctors say that it may afflict 1 percent of all Americans. "It's a fairly uncommon outcome for trichs," said Dr. Martin Franklin, associate professor of clinical psychology and psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania, who studies trichotillomania in children and adolescents. "But it's pretty life-threatening if you do end up here." While he notes that most who have trichotillomania do not eat their hair after pulling it out, he said this extreme form of the condition occurs in between 30 and 50 percent of patients. "Certainly when you eat enough of your hair to require surgery, we're at the other end of the continuum," said Martin. Trichotillomania often begins in early childhood, and can start as young as 18 months, although it typically doesn't begin until age 10. A person with the illness compulsively pulls out the hair (between 70 and 93 percent of patients are estimated to be women). Among adult patients, most have the condition starting in childhood, but in many cases it may go unreported, said Dr. Darin Dougherty, a psychiatrist and co-director of the Trichotillomania Clinic at Massachusetts General Hospital. Patients often exhibit other repetitive behaviors, because of the disease's similarities to obsessive compulsive disorder. "People with trich often have other repetitive bodily focused behavior," he said. "In addition to pulling their hair, they also chew on their nails or the inside of their cheek." Dougherty estimates that with intervention ranging from behavior therapy to medication, 60 to 80 percent of patients can be effectively treated. But while the condition is usually nonfatal -- most of the effects come from social problems resulting from bald patches -- doctors say those interventions are crucial. Christina Pearson described her 20-year ordeal as a painful period of thinking she was alone, "thinking I was the world's biggest freak." For her, pulling her hair out and then chewing on the root (which doctors say is typically not enough to result in an accumulation of hair in the stomach) was an irresistible compulsion. "I used to cry watching my hand go to my head, and there were times in my 20s that I would tie my hands together." Ultimately, Pearson learned more about her disorder and got help. Eighteen years ago, she founded the Trichotillomania Learning Center, where she is now executive director, educating people about the condition to prevent the problems she had.

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"There's not a lot of thought involved in this. It's more like scratching an itch. It's more like chewing gum," Pearson said. "It would induce a trance for me that would last for hours, and then the next day I would be absolutely traumatized. "You cannot imagine why you're doing this and why you can't stop. It doesn't make sense." While cases like the one in Mumbai are not common among trichotillomania sufferers, several occur every few years and they can be fatal when they result in bowel obstruction. Last year, Dr. Sri Komanduri, a gastrointestinal surgeon then at Rush Medical Center in Chicago and now at nearby Northwestern Memorial Hospital, removed a 10-pound mass of hair from an 18-year-old woman, writing an account of it in the New England Journal of Medicine. "Essentially, the entire stomach was kind of engulfed with this thing," he told ABCNews.com. While people often swallow unusual objects such as coins, Komanduri said that the mass of those objects keeps them from accumulating in the stomach. "Things like hair don't have much substance or weight to them, and they tend to pool," he said. He noted that surgery was not the typical solution for patients, as most of the hair accumulations could be removed by pushing it out during an endoscopy or using other nonsurgical techniques. He said that in the past 10 years he has seen five cases of hair accumulation in the gut, but this was the first time surgery was needed. He also noted that the masses of hair are not typically found until some other problem forces doctors to look in the stomach. In the vast majority of cases, the effects are psychological. Patients are ashamed of their behavior, and depression can result -- although doctors are not sure whether it is caused by the trichotillomania itself or by the problem in the brain that leads to the illness. The condition can also leave patients with bald spots or repetitive stress injuries. But even with those effects, people with the disease are reluctant to come forward. Franklin explains the mindset of many children as "I know I'm doing something that's unusual, I'm ashamed of it, I don't want to tell anybody." But by observing their children to see if they pull out hair excessively and by laying out the complications of excessive hair-pulling, he said parents can go a long way toward helping. But, Franklin added, they need to avoid sounding accusatory.

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"You won't get an accurate answer from a kid who feels stressed out and on the spot when you ask those questions," he said. But Franklin notes it isn't easy. He said he has seen cases of a husband and wife where the husband was unaware that his wife was pulling out her hair while he was asleep. Dougherty notes that many cases are not identified by the parents but are caught by the dermatologist when the parents bring their children in worrying about hair loss or a potential skin problem. Doctors say that parent awareness is the key to helping children with trichotillomania, and they can benefit by more media attention, spotlighting a potentially embarrassing but not uncommon condition. "There's a lot of shame and a lot of reasons kids want to keep it to themselves," said Franklin. "This is fairly common and treatable, and something that's not so shameful." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:10AM (UTC) Santa sacked for lap invite despite Elf warning Andrew Mondia, 32, was one of several Father Christmases handing out presents and seasonal good cheer in the grotto of the London fashion store. The store said an elf had warned Mr Mondia he should not be inviting either children or adults to sit on his knee and it was against company policy. A spokesman for Selfridges told the Guardian: "It's vital that everyone bringing children to see Santa can be absolutely confident that the visit will be a happy one. Unfortunately, this particular Santa didn't behave in line with his training or the standards we've set so we acted swiftly and asked him to leave." The company said it is made clear to potential Santas during their training that no one should sit on Santa's lap and Santas must certainly not "promote or proactively seek" anyone to do so. Mr Mondia said his one-day training was "a bit rushed", adding: "I was just being my innocent usual self. I was shocked when they told me â&#x20AC;&#x201C; I couldn't believe I've been sacked for being too friendly." Mr Mondia, whose previous jobs have included posing as a box of Nesquik and a Blackberry pearl mobile phone, had been due to work six days a week over the festival period, earning him about ÂŁ2,500. He said: "I'm not sure what I'll do now. It's disappointing, but I've learnt that, even as

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Santa Claus, you can't please everyone all the time." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 02:55PM (UTC) Gay penguins steal eggs from straight couples A couple of gay penguins are attempting to steal eggs from straight birds in an effort to become "fathers", it has been reported. The two penguins have started placing stones at the feet of parents before waddling away with their eggs, in a bid to hide their theft. But the deception has been noticed by other penguins at the zoo, who have ostracised the gay couple from their group. Now keepers have decided to segregate the pair of three-year-old male birds to avoid disrupting the rest of the community during the hatching season. A keeper at Polar Land in Harbin, north east China explained that the gay couple had the natural urge to become fathers, despite their sexuality. "One of the responsibilities of being a male adult is looking after the eggs. Despite this being a biological impossibility for this couple, the natural desire is still there," a keeper told the Austrian Times newspaper. "It's not discrimination. We have to fence them separately, otherwise the whole group will be disturbed during hatching time," he added. There are numerous examples of homosexuality in the animal kingdom, but gay penguins have captured the public's attention more than any other species. A German zoo provoked outrage from gay lobby groups after attempting to mate a group of gay male penguins with Swedish female birds who were flown in especially to seduce them. But the project was abandoned after the males refused to be "turned", showing no interest in their would-be mates. In 2002 a couple of penguins at a New York zoo who had been together for eight years were "outed" when keepers noticed that they were both males. Source

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'Urban explorer' poses on crane 400ft above Manchester Standing on the end of a crane 400 ft above a glowing city centre, this man is one of a new group of modern thrillseekers known as urban explorers. The adventurers gain access to off-limit and abandoned city sites, often taking pictures of themselves in places where the public usually have no access. This man, who calls himself "Bigjobs", was photographed perched on the top of a highrise building site in Manchester without any harness or safety supports. Other urban explorers have posted pictures of themselves in perilous locations such as on Clifton Suspension Bridge in Bristol, hundreds of feet above the River Avon Many urban explorers "infiltrate" closed or deserted buildings like factories, hospitals and theme parks, while others explore sewer networks and catacombs. But some put themselves a serious risk of injury by clambering onto bridges, building sites and other high structures in order to capture the most dramatic photos of their exploits. Enthusiasts claim that they do not damage the buildings they explore, and some even seek consent before gaining access, but police have warned that their "hobby" puts lives at risk and can be illegal. Source

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Friday, November 28, 2008 Man with no arms caught driving Police were amazed at their discovery during a routine check of vehicles on the road.

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Zing Shen, 42, was steering the vehicle with his feet and said he had been doing so for years. It was reported that he was stunned when police officers issued him with a public safety summons. The man told traffic police that ever since he lost his arms in an industrial accident several years ago, he had used his feet to steer his vehicle without difficulty. He has no arms from the elbows down. His car was an automatic so he did not have to concern himself with changing gear. A police spokesman in Beijing said: "The man said that he was a very safe driver and felt he was as good as anyone else on the road, despite his disability. "He had an automatic so did not need to worry about changing gears and said he had put a lot of practice into learning to control the steering wheel with his legs. "He said he was actually even more careful now with driving than he had been before he lost his arms. He was surprised when we arrested him." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 01:42PM (UTC) Cat whack-a-mouse game

Posted by goldenlad at 01:46PM (UTC) Man stranded in mobility scooter for 16 hours after getting stuck in mud An 86-year-old was left stranded in his mobility scooter for 16 hours after getting it stuck in a patch of mud. Robert Calloway, a retired engineer, was marooned in his scooter overnight when temperatures plummeted to nearly freezing after venturing out for some fresh air. He was only rescued after a dog walker spotted him at 9am the following day.

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He said: "I just nipped out at 5pm for some fresh air and was going across a bridge when I turned left and got stuck fast in the mud.

"It got very cold and it was quite a frightening experience. I won't go there again in the dark." He says he kept himself occupied by saying prayers. Mr Calloway, a father-of-two who lives in Crawley, West Sussex, was taken to hospital after his ordeal on Sunday night but did not suffer any serious injuries. Source Posted by goldenlad at 03:36PM (UTC) Funky Songs of Praise

Posted by goldenlad at 06:23PM (UTC) Posted by goldenlad at 09:32PM (UTC)

Yummy Ham Posted by goldenlad at 09:34PM (UTC)

Monday, December 01, 2008 Flaming robot legs walking a shopping trolley

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Posted by goldenlad at 07:50AM (UTC) How to calm binge drinkers: get them all blowing bubbles They have considered Asbos, curfews and Taser stun guns in the war on binge-drinking youths on Friday and Saturday nights. Now police are developing a new weapon. Drinkers will be encouraged to play with children's bubble blowers instead of picking fights, in a scheme to start next month in Bolton. Police will hand out the free toys as young people pour out of pubs and clubs in typically boisterous mood. But the initiative has been condemned as a 'nursery school gimmick' and a waste of taxpayers' money. The blue and orange bubble blowers, which double as pens, will be handed out by police community support officers and town centre ambassadors on Saturday nights. Elaine Sherrington, a Bolton councillor, said: 'They are a great idea to keep things light-hearted. Revellers will have something fun to focus on as they leave pubs and clubs. The run-up to the festive period should be full of fun, not problems with drunkenness or rowdy behaviour.' The plan has been drawn up by the Be Safe Partnership, involving Bolton council, the police and fire service. The council could not say how much the bubble blowers have cost, but they usually retail for ÂŁ1-ÂŁ4. Matthew Elliott, chief executive of the Taxpayers' Alliance, said: 'This is completely bonkers. People want the police fighting crime, not handing out nursery school gimmicks. If this money isn't needed it should be given back to taxpayers, not squandered.' The move is unlikely to match the innocence of Bubbles, John Everett Millais's painting of a golden-haired boy gazing up at a bubble, which became iconic as an advert for soap. It is not the first unorthodox effort to curb alcohol-fuelled behaviour: in recent years Manchester police have handed out lollipops to stop people shouting in the street after nights out. It was revealed last week that women in Devon, staggering home in high heels, are being given flip-flops to stop them falling into the gutter. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 07:51AM (UTC) * Life & style * Christmas Glitter-covered reindeer poo in your stocking this Christmas

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The droppings are sold for $5 each in the zoo gift shop as 'magical reindeer gem drop-

pings' Reindeer at the Miller Park Zoo in Illinois, US, are doing more to deliver presents this Christmas than pulling Santa's sleigh. The zoo's two reindeer, Ealu and Rika, are helping to "manufacture" ornaments on sale in the gift shop - by providing staff with a regular supply of droppings to decorate. The droppings, on sale at $5 (ÂŁ3.26) each, are dried before being clear-coated and either painted or rolled in glitter. The zoo's marketing director Susie Ohley has named the gifts "magical reindeer gem ornaments", and each comes with a label of authenticity. Some shoppers are surprised at the size of the "gems," which are only about as big as marbles. "Reindeer are so big," said zoo maintenance worker Sheldon Williams. But the droppings are "just a big pile of small." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 06:45PM (UTC) Man wakes wife from coma by biting her toe Lu Fengshuang fell into a coma after suffering a head injury in an industrial accident. Zhang Kui, of Shenyang, had tried for years to wake his wife of 27 years. He had played music, spoken to her, even tickled her, but nothing worked. "I then recalled someone saying that the feet are the home for many nerves," he told the Liao Sheng Evening Post. "I wondered if I could wake her up by biting her feet." So he dutifully bit her toes over a ten-year period until one day she responded by squeezing his wrist. "I got goose bumps. It was like a dead person suddenly gripping your hand," he told the newspaper. The next challenge, however, is to help her speak-- so far she can move her arms and smile, but her husband is keen to hear his wife's voice again.

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Tuesday, December 02, 2008 Hubby, 82, takes Viagra, wife calls police Police in Palermo, Italy, said they were called to an elderly couple's home by a wife who was afraid her husband's Viagra-driven advances would harm his health. Officers told Sicilian daily Il Giornale di Sicilia that the woman, who is in her 80s, feared that sexual contact with her 82-year-old husband, who had taken Viagra, would cause his heart to give out, ANSA reported Monday. ''So much passion at the age of 82, with all the aches and pains he has, could prove lethal", the woman was quoted as saying to police. Police said the man was "furious" when they arrived but calmed down after relatives arrived. The officers said they left the situation in the hands of the man's family. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:13AM (UTC) Storm in a C-cup - 130,000 boobs lost at sea More than 130,000 inflatable breasts have been lost at sea en route to Australia.

Men's magazine Ralph was planning to include the boobs as a free gift with its January issue. The cargo is worth about $200,000, which is another blow for publisher ACP's parent company PBL, which is already in $4.3 billion of debt.

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A spokeswoman for Ralph said the container left docks in Beijing two weeks ago but

turned up empty in Sydney this week. The magazine has put out an alert to shipping authorities to see if they have the container, but if they don't turn up in the next 48 hours it will be too late for the next issue, she said. Ralph editor Santi Pintado urged anyone who has any information to contact the magazine. ``Unless Somali pirates have stolen them its difficult to explain where they are,'' Pintado said. ``If anyone finds any washed up on a beach, please let us know.'' Source Posted by goldenlad at 11:14AM (UTC) Posted by goldenlad at 06:00PM (UTC)

£30,000 of Christmas lights bring cheer to suburban home This suburban house has received a Christmas transformation thanks to £30,000 of seasonal lights. Electrician Alex Goodhind decks out his home in Melksham, Wiltshire with decorations every year, but this Christmas has forked out an extra £3,000 for new lights to put on his most dazzling display yet. The lights require so much electricity that he paid for workmen to dig up his road and lay an industrial-strength power cable, after finding himself unable to boil a kettle when the display was switched on. The energy bill for the lights is expected to pass the £700 it cost last Christmas, but Mr Goodhind says the price is worth it for the hundreds of local people who come to see the house every day over the festive period. The 24-year-old, who started planning this year's decorations in July, puts on his annual display to raise money for a local hospice following the death of his mother. Last year he raised £2,000 for Dorothy House in Bradford on Avon through donations

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from neighbours and visitors, with local community groups laying on minibus trips to the spectacle. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 09:46PM (UTC)

Wednesday, December 03, 2008 He looks happy! Posted by goldenlad at 09:47AM (UTC)

Flying car up for sale on eBay The Aerocar is the only vehicle ever certified for both flight and operation on the road. It is one of only six to be built and can be converted from a plane to a car in just five minutes. The Aerocar's wings, rudder and part of the fuselage neatly fold into a trailer. Built in 1956 by American Molt Taylor, it can do 100mph in the air. The real-life Chitty Chitty Bang Bang - originally priced at ÂŁ16,750, is now for sale on eBay for ÂŁ2.3million. Its first flight was in 1949 and its last was in 1977. It has been in storage ever since. It is being sold by Carl and Marilyn Felling, who bought the vehicle in 1981. They originally intended to get it flying again, but ran out of money.

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The Aerocar was once flown to Cuba where Fidel Castro's brother, Raul, apparently took

the controls. During that flight, the vehicle ran out of gas and was damaged when it landed on a country road. It was subsequently used for traffic reports by a radio station in Oregon and was later used by a travelling salesman. The eBay auction ends December 16. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 12:02PM (UTC) 300 flying foxes are rescued in storms The future of a colony of fruit bats has been put at risk after hundreds of pups were abandoned by their mothers in heavy storms. More than 300 infant grey-headed flying foxes are being cared for at a bat hospital since they were left to fend for themselves in the last week. Most are suffering from hypothermia and deydration, and many have been attacked by swarms of flies. 'Normally, female flying foxes will go to the ends of the earth to save their babies, so it goes to illustrate how bad the storms were,' said carer Trish Wimberley of the Wildcare Australia centre in Queensland. 'An ideal way to keep them warm is to wrap them in yellow duster cloths. 'They are very demanding. We must ensure they are fed every four hours.' Source Posted by goldenlad at 01:54PM (UTC) Britain's worst Xmas tree? The shabby tree only arrived hours before former Atomic Kitten Natasha Hamilton was due to turn on the lights and town centre bosses say it was too late to send it back.

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Local councillor Joan Maslin said she had been inundated with complaints about the tree, reports the Daily Telegraph. "It is a disgrace and an insult to Peterlee. It's condition already looks like the tree you take to the council tip in January after the festivities are over," she said. "At this time of year, with the credit crunch, people are feeling gloomy and the tree is supposed to add festive cheer. But this one will only make people feel more miserable. "People have been phoning me and stopping me in the street to complain about the threadbare state." But Mike Weston, manager of the shopping centre which paid for the tree, said the council had no right to complain as it had not contributed towards the cost. "I admit, it doesn't look very good. But the local councillor had the cheek to complain - the council has not contributed a penny towards the Christmas decorations. "We ordered a standard Christmas tree from a supplier, and when this awful thing arrived, it was too late to send it back before the switch-on. "We have spent thousands of pounds lighting up the town centre and hiring Santa to come and give free toys to children on Saturdays, and these toys are not rubbish ones. If the council is so concerned let them spend some of their money on another tree." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 01:56PM (UTC) Cleaner told he can keep ÂŁ10,000 in cut-up banknotes, if he can piece it together Graham Hill has in front of him the most lucrative jigsaw puzzle in history, a combination of ÂŁ10 and ÂŁ20 notes he found while emptying bins. Police said there was no evidence the money was stolen and, having kept it unclaimed for six months, said Mr Hill can have it, and any of it he can piece back together will be legal tender.

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Mr Hill, from Gainsborough, Lincs, said: "I was gutted when I looked in the bin and saw all the money cut up." He found the money chopped up and dumped in a bin in Lincoln's Central Market, along with a second bundle found in a bin near a restaurant. They are thought to have been thrown away on the night of May 7. Lincolnshire Police launched an investigation but gave him it back when no-one came forward. Det Con Nick Cobb said: "Following extensive inquiries, there was no evidence that the money was stolen or linked to any criminal activity. "We liaised with the Bank of England and established that the money was genuine. "Having had no person claim it, we returned it to the finder, who according to the Bank of England, is obliged to try to piece it back together. "This was a very unusual case, and despite our inquiries, the circumstances of why and how the money came to be torn up and put in the bin remains a mystery." A spokesman for the Bank of England said: "From what I understand of Mr Hill's case, he should be fine to get a reimbursement on the notes that he can put together." For Mr Hill to be successful he will have to ensure that the two serial numbers found on the front of every bank note match when he pieces them together. He stands a better chance of success if the fragments are larger and contain the chief cashier's signature and the "I promise to pay the bearer on demand the sum of" clause. The spokesman added: "We ask that people tell us how the note came to be damaged as well. We are more reluctant to pay out if someone said they set fire to it." Source

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Thursday, December 04, 2008 Posted by goldenlad at 10:16AM (UTC)

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How To Hide An Unwanted Erection

Posted by goldenlad at 06:32PM (UTC) Hardened criminals win right to moisturise Even hardened criminals have a right to aftershave and hand cream, Germany's highest court has ruled, approving the appeal of a male inmate against gender discrimination. The Federal Constitutional Court said the plaintiff was right in challenging a prison policy which allowed only female inmates to spend â&#x201A;Ź 25 ($50) of their own money on cosmetic and skin care products each month. "Although the interest in cosmetics may be more widespread or frequently stronger among women than among men, it is not a biologically determined interest among women,'' the court ruled. "Members of one sex cannot be denied their wellness choices simply because they are more typically found among the opposite sex.'' It said the current practice of only allowing women to purchase beauty products amounted to a violation of the protection against sex discrimination under Germany's Basic Law. The plaintiff's lawyer, Kai Zimmermann, said his client had fought through lower courts to Germany's top tribunal in the southwestern city of Karlsruhe for "the right to use aftershave, moisturiser and the like''. The case will now go back to a lower court. Mr Zimmermann declined to give his client's name, age or the crime for which he is serving time. Source

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Friday, December 05, 2008 Bouffant bird

Posted by goldenlad at 07:45AM (UTC) Trafalgar Square lion to 'talk' The magic of animation is to be employed to bring one of the famous lions in Trafalgar Square to life. London tourism officials have arranged for one of the 141-year-old iconic statues to "talk" about the best that the city has to offer over Christmas. Using both projection equipment and animation, the lion will be "chatting" to passersby on Friday. Highlights are expected to include promotion of the West End's traffic-free day on Saturday to lure shoppers. Sally Chatterjee, of Visit London, said the festive period was special thanks to the West End lights, seasonal theatre and ice rinks. "A talking lion in Trafalgar Square is a great way to bring to life the magic of the festive period in the capital," she said. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 09:22AM (UTC) Ready, teddy, go ... into space! Two teddy bears have been launched into space on a budget of just ÂŁ60. The toys, named MAT and KMS, were decked out in custom-made space suits and launched on a weather balloon more than 18 miles above the Earth in the fourhour expedition. The toys, bought from Mothercare, endured temperatures of minus 31F (-35C) in the mission launched by Cambridge

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University's Space Flight science club, reports the Daily Telegraph. A laptop attached to a webcam captured stunning images of the bears looking down on Earth from nearly 100,000ft. Pupils from nearby Parkside and Coleridge community colleges assisted scientists by creating space suits to stop the teddies from freezing solid. After completing their mission the pair parachuted back to earth and made a soft landing near Ipswich just 50 miles from their launch pad. Henry Hallam, 21, an aerodynamics student at Pembroke College at Cambridge, led the successful experiment to monitor weather conditions above the Earth. He said: "We asked the children to build the space suits for the teddy bears and we monitored the temperatures inside and outside the suits. "It was still pretty cold for the bears but they would be frozen solid if they didn't have their suits. "It was great to involve these young people in the Space Flight club, so they can learn about physics in a different and exciting way." Thia Unsworth, 12, from Parkside College, helped to design the spacesuit for MAT. She said: "It was unbelievable to see the balloon take off and it's incredible to see the pictures of the teddy bears in space. "I've always loved science before, but I now understand how it helps in the real world." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 12:18PM (UTC) Toilet sign WTF Posted by goldenlad at 06:54PM (UTC)

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BrickArms Custom Minifig - Bandit 'Mr. White' Click pic for more pics and to purchase Posted by goldenlad at 06:58PM (UTC) Posted by goldenlad at 08:37PM (UTC) Posted by goldenlad at 11:17PM (UTC)

Saturday, December 06, 2008 Animal Christmas Song

Posted by goldenlad at 03:40PM (UTC) Eight-toe baby born in Guangdong A baby boy with eight toes on each foot was discharged from a hospital in Leizhou, southeast Guangdong province on November 5, 2008. The baby has five fingers on each hand but doesn't have thumbs. Doctor said this might have something to do with genetics or environment pollution. Source Posted by goldenlad at 03:41PM (UTC)

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Sunday, December 07, 2008 Man dies from picking his nose Ian Bothwell, 63, suffered a serious nose-bleed because of his habit and died as a result. Nigel Meadows, Manchester coroner, said: "There is no explanation for this death other than he died from a nosebleed, consistent with picking his nose. I do not think for a moment he knew what he was doing was going to cause his death." He recorded a verdict of misadventure. A pathologist concluded that Mr Bothwell, who suffered from dementia brought on by alcoholism, had picked his nose so much that it had caused him to bleed to death. His body was found by John Edwards, the manager of the Royal Court block of flats in Ladybarn near Didsbury, Manchester - where Mr Bothwell lived alone - on September 5. Mr Edwards told the inquest: "I thought he must have fallen out of bed and hit his head but it was obvious he was almost certainly dead." But Dr Emyr Benbow, the consultant who carried out the post mortem at Manchester Royal Infirmary, said he could find no evidence that a bang to Mr Bothwell's head had contributed to his death. The only place he found any contributory evidence was inside Mr Bothwell's nasal cavity, which was full of blood. Dr Benbow told the inquest: "The nasal cavity was filled with blood. My conclusion is that the most likely cause of death is epistaxis, the technical term for a nose-bleed. "The most common cause of epistaxis is picking the nose and I believe that is likely to be what happened." Mr Bothwell had been a fit young man until he suffered a brain haemorrhage when he was 20. He was unable to work and he quickly descended into alcoholism. His

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only relative was a sister living in Cornwall, who he saw just once in 30 years at his mother's funeral in 1986. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:24AM (UTC) Don't feed the chavs Posted by goldenlad at 04:24PM (UTC)

Monday, December 08, 2008 South Lebanon farmer grows super spud South Lebanon farmer hopes 11.3 kilo potato will get mention in famous Guinness World Records book. A south Lebanon farmer couldn't believe his peeled eyes when he discovered he had grown a massive potato, he said on Saturday, adding that he now hopes to enter the Guinness World Records book. "This giant weighs 11.3 kilos (24.9 pounds)," Khalil Semhat said at his farm in the Tyre area, 85 kilometres (50 miles) south of Beirut. "I've been working the land since I was a boy, and it's the first time I've seen anything like it." Semhat, 56, said he had not done anything special to inspire the monster mash. "I didn't use any chemicals at all," he insisted, adding that he had to ask a friend to help him haul the huge tuber from the ground. Now he hopes the find will get a mention in the famous Guinness book, and said he will send in the details for possible inclusion next year.

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He said he was "very proud" that the super spud grew on the farm where he cultivates mainly potatoes and bananas, given that it suffered a pounding in 2006 during the summer Israeli war on Hezbollah and south Lebanon. Source Posted by goldenlad at 11:10AM (UTC) 8,000 year old piece of string Archaeologists have found a piece of string that is 8,000 years old. The four-and-a-half inch long string was made from tough stems of honeysuckle, nettles or wild clematis twisted together. Marine archaeologists discovered it when they found a flooded Stone Age settlement just off the coast of the Isle of Wight. The team, led by Gary Momber of the Hampshire and Wight Trust for Maritime Archaeology, cut small blocks of the sea floor out for analysis after seeing the wooded remains of the settlement by chance. The string was buried in one of them. The find is remarkable because the fibres, made of organic matter, would usually decay quite quickly. Now the results have been published in British Archaeology magazine whose editor Mike Pitts described it as a "fantastic find". He said: "I don't think the average person realises what an important piece of technology string has been over the ages." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 11:45AM (UTC)

Tuesday, December 09, 2008 Fanny Hands Lane

Click pic to see it on Google Maps Posted by goldenlad at 06:31PM (UTC) Kissing squirrels Posted by goldenlad at 06:34PM (UTC)

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'Chav' nativity casts Mary as a 'Kappa-slapper' Teenagers at Oakwood School in Bexley, Kent, were told to read through the script, that also referred to Jesus turning water into Stella lager. Another part of the short play talked about the police killing "bay-bees", while Mary referred to the extra benefit payments she would receive for having Jesus. Mother Michelle Taylor, 35, branded the play "disgraceful" after being shown the text. She said: "I couldn't believe what I was seeing. You try to encourage your children to speak properly and then they get given this sort of thing at school. I know some young people do speak like this sometimes but the school should not be condoning it in any way." She added: "In one scene they have Mary and Joseph breaking into a garage because there is no room at the inn. That is not right. "The pupil I spoke to thought it was highly amusing that Mary and Joseph were being portrayed as Chavs, but I didn't." 'Chav' is a term most frequently used to describe white working class teenagers or young people who misbehave. Oakwood is a mixed day school for 51 pupils aged 11 to 16 who have "social, emotional and behavioural difficulties", according to its latest Ofsted report, which gave it a 'Good' rating overall. A spokesman for Bexley Council said the text was given out as part of a drama lesson into the use of language. The spokesman said: "It was never the intention of Oakwood School to use this script as its nativity play. This piece of work was part of a sketch for year nine students were looking at during a drama lesson on the use of language. 'This is definitely not the kind of lan-

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guage that the school would ever encourage or endorse. "The school apologises for any upset this confusion may have caused parents. We are proud of our school community and our relationship with parents and pupils and would never knowingly cause distress to either. "The school's annual nativity play will be a traditional take on the Christmas story."

Full text Pupil One: Do you hear what we 'erd, right, there's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin. Pupil two: Wossat then? A train? Pupil three: She's not married or nuffink. But she's got this boyfriend Joe, innit? He does joinery an' that. May lives with him in a crib down Nazaref. Well anyways, one day right Mary meets this bloke Gabriel right. Pupil two: Gabriel? What sorta name's that den? Pupil one: Dunno, sounds Chavvy to me. Pupil two: Innit! Bruv. Pupil three: She's like 'Ooo ya looking at?' Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally gobsmacked. Pupil two: Innit? Pupil one: She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!' Pupil two: Yeah right! Bet she was a right goer. Pupil three: Well, see the thing is she hadn't bin wiv no-one. Honest! So Mary goes and sees her cousing Liz, who's six months gone herself. Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Bacardi breezers an' that. She's like 'Orright, Mary. I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I'm well blessed. Pupil two: Think of all the extra benefits an' that that they are gonna get. Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right. Pupil one: Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponce a donkey an' go dahn Beflehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? Pupil two: No surprised, I'd wanna pint an all.

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Pupil one: Nah, to have her bay-bee an' that. Pupil two: What, have the kid in the pub? That's outers, people in the pub having a quiet pint then in comes this bird screaming and hollering 'n stuff. Put me off me drink that would! Pupil three: Shut up will ya! See the fing is there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that. Pupil two: On that's gross, near turned my guts that as! Pupil three: Well then, these free geezers turn up, looking proper bling wiv crowns on their 'eads. They're like 'Respect, baby-bee Jesus,' an' say they're wise men from the East End. Pupil two: What Minty and the Mitchell brothers? Pupil one: On shut up! Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an' myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas, and Burberry?' Pupil two: On yeah, that's proper stuff to give to a kid. Pupil three: Well. Then blow me, some Welsh bloke's turn up wiv a sheep, well it's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sex he's got another message from this Lord geezer. Pupil two: Shoulda used his mobile, he sounds a proper nutter. Pupil three: Shut it! Anyways he's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin' all the babybees. You better nash off to Egypt. Pupil one: Joe goes 'You must be monged if you think I'm goin' down Egypt on a minging donkey.' Pupil two: Wouldn't get me on no minging donkey. Went on one at Margate in the summer, it proper stunk. Pupil one: Will you give it a rest? Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.' So they go down Egypt till they've stopped killin' the first-born an' it's safe an' that. Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into Stella. Pupil two: Wicked! Wherdya hear about all this den? Pupil one: Dunno, can't remember. Pupil two: Well what yous getting for Christmas this year?

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Pupil three: Dunno, perhaps a bita bling. I don't see wat all the fuss is about Christmas, it's just an excuse to get stuffed and fall asleep in front of the telly innit? Pupil two: Yeah bruv. Innit? Source

Posted by goldenlad at 06:39PM (UTC) Frosty reception guaranteed at Lapland's largest ever ice hotel A frosty reception is guaranteed for visitors to Lapland's largest ever ice hotel which is due to open its doors for Christmas. Up to sixty guests per night will endure temperatures between 32 to 23F (0 to 5c) sleeping on beds made from blocks of ice. Residents' igloo rooms are supplied with sleeping bags, fleeces and instructions on how to survive the "sleepover". When they awake, hot berry juice is provided to help thaw them out. There are also two "warm" subterranean rooms provided for less hardy travellers. A team of 15 ice sculptors spent three weeks building the Ice Hotel from over a thousand lorry-loads of snow. This year, an extra three rooms have been carved from the ice, bringing the frozen accommodation up to 30 suites. All the rooms are decorated with ornate carvings and lit with multi coloured lights. An ice bar and restaurant, ice slides and ice sculptures have also been created to keep visitors to the Snowvillage near Kittila, Finland entertained. The ice hotel has been built on the 7.5 square kilometre (three square mile) site every winter for the last eight years. The entire complex will melt away as temperatures rise in the spring. Snowvillage designer, Heini said: "It seems that if we have a very cold autumn then the spring will be warm and the Snowvillage will melt earlier. "But, as like this year, our autumn has been warm, our spring should be colder. So hopefully we'll be taking guests until April next year."

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Posted by goldenlad at 09:39PM (UTC) Mice caused firefighter to abandon station The officer was sent to open the building at Waltham Abbey, Essex, but fled after spotting the tiny creatures and refused to start the night-shift. A pair of mice closed a fire station because of a fireman's ph obia. The officer was sent to open the The station was closed for two hours on Dec 5 until the firefighter was ordered back to work by bosses. Waltham Abbey has a single fire engine and is crewed by regulars during the day but at night retained part-timers take over and answer any emergency calls. Assistant Chief Officer Gordon Hunter said: "The fire officer contacted his control at around 10pm to say there were mice in the kitchen and he was returning to his normal station. "He was told by the manager there to return and re-open the station. We are waiting to interview him when he returns to duty and in the meantime pest control firm has been called in but found no evidence of any mouse infestation." The force said the incident was under review and the matter is also being investigated by the Fire Brigade's Union. Regional Secretary Adrian Clarke: "Talks are going on about issues such as risk assessment and working practices. But a rodent infestation is a serious matter whether it is a hotel or a fire station." A fire brigade insider said: "He may have a phobia about mice which is odd because firemen have to deal with all sort of animals in their work â&#x20AC;&#x201C; including things like angry bulls â&#x20AC;&#x201C; so a mouse should not have been a problem. " Source Posted by goldenlad at 09:42PM (UTC)

Wednesday, December 10, 2008 Kitten loves broccoli

Posted by goldenlad at 11:13AM (UTC)

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Frankie the feline exposed as the cat burglar stealing toys from his neighbours' homes A real-life cat burglar has left his owner feeling less than purr-fect - by swiping dozens of cuddly toys from nearby homes. Frankie the tom cat has got his claws into 35 teddies and soft toys in the last year. Owner Julie Bishop believes the twoyear-old feline is sneaking into her neighbours' homes. He drags each one of his finds through the catflap before depositing them on the same spot in the living room. Julie, 52, said: 'Frankie looks very pleased with himself when he comes in with these presents. 'He's been going out of the house and coming back with all these toys for pretty much as long as he's been allowed out. 'They're all soft toys for cats I think. About 15 of them are all the same leopard. He doesn't really play with them. He dumps them down and goes out looking for something else.' In the past year alone Frankie's haul has included teddy bears, leopards and a giant squeaky beefburger. Now Julie has plastered her home town of Swindon with posters to try and trace the rightful owners. Julie, who lives with her partner Gary Witts, 47, got Frankie from a Wiltshire farm in 2006. She said: 'I'd be interested to find out what's happening when he goes out. 'Frankie is quite independent and comes in and out of the cat flap all through the day and night. 'He's quite a friendly cat and likes to sleep on your shoulder, although he lets you know if he wants to be on his own.' Two weeks ago Frankie stole two green witch's heads, which must have come from a recent Halloween party. He has also swiped a range of old socks, nappy sacks, half-eaten beefburgers and chips - as well as the traditional dead mice and birds.

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Posted by goldenlad at 11:13AM (UTC) Company launches pre-chewed pencils A British design company have launched a new product to help children concentrate at school - pre-chewed pencils. The company, called Concentrate, says the pencils look like they have already been chewed making pupils less likely to put them in their mouths. And they say this is a cheap but effective way of encouraging youngsters to get their teeth into their lessons instead. Concentrate specialises in products to help kids at school and identify why they get distracted or are unable to focus in class, claim the chewed end encourages them to get thinking straight away. "We know it's daft but just get down to some concentrated thinking and who knows what might happen," said company boss Mark Champkins. "We began to look at the reasons that children might be distracted, uncomfortable or unable to focus in lessons - and we set about designing some simple, cost-effective products to address some of the problems." Source Posted by goldenlad at 01:35PM (UTC) Posted by goldenlad at 06:29PM (UTC)

Shop worker, 4ft 9in, sues Co-op for chip-and-pin machine repetitive strain injury A 4ft 9in cashier has successfully sued the Co-op supermarket chain after she suffered a repetitive strain injury reaching for a chip and pin machine. Jill Hyndman, 51, developed a tendon injury in her right arm after the tills were revamped to include a pole-mounted credit card reader.

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But the company failed to take her small stature into account when it redesigned the tills, causing her to over stretch for each card transaction. An investigation found the new layout breached health and safety guidelines because the chip and pin machine was 23cm too far from her reach. Mrs Hyndman filed a county court claim for damages against the Co-op and has won an undisclosed settlement. The Co-op has not admitted liability. Her solicitor Julie Roberts said the case should be an example to others who suffer repetitive injuries at work. She said: "Most workers don't like to make a fuss and just get on with things even if they are in pain. But this just proves that you don't have to suffer in silence." Mrs Hyndman has worked part-time at her local store in Cinderford, Glos, since 1990. In 2004 the store was redesigned and the number of checkouts increased from 10 to 15, with touch screens mounted above the scanning belts. Chip and pin readers were added in May 2005 and the cashiers found themselves stretching out of their chairs to reach them Within a month Mrs Hyndman developed Tenosynovitis, an inflammation of the tendons caused by repetitive straining. Several staff complained, but Mrs Hyndman took her case to her union, USDAW, the Union of Shop, Distributive and Allied Workers, when the company did not alter the tills. Forest of Dean District Council discovered that the touch screens and the chip and pin readers breached guidelines set by the Health and Safety Executive in 2004. They set out a "zone of convenient reach" whereby till units must be no further than 300mm from the edge of the work surface. However, the chip and pin machines at the Co-op in Cinderford were 535mm from the edge and the touch screens were 430mm away. This made the till machines outside the comfortable reach of 95 per cent of women. Mrs Hyndman still works at the store, which has now redesigned the layout of its tills. The Midcounties Cooperative, which operates the store, declined to comment.

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Posted by goldenlad at 07:21PM (UTC) Dude got a blowhole

Posted by goldenlad at 10:57PM (UTC) Shanghai Lady Drives Off With Tow Truck

Posted by goldenlad at 10:58PM (UTC)

Thursday, December 11, 2008 Posted by goldenlad at 12:56PM (UTC)

Man wins court battle to prove he's alive A Romanian man has won a year-long fight to persuade the courts that he isn't dead. Gheroghe Stirbu, from Timisoara, tried to renew his identity card but was told by officials that he had been registered as dead. Bungling civil servants had mixed him up with another man but although Stirbu pointed out what they had done they refused to acknowledge their mistake until Stirbu won a 12 month legal claim to be declared alive. Judges renewed his status as alive - and then charged him ÂŁ500 in court costs. Mr Stirbu said: "When the judge ruled in my favour I was absolutely delighted - and then seconds later was absolutely shocked when I found out I would have to pay so much in legal bills.

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"I will of course appeal the imposition of the costs but I am already beginning to wonder whether or not I would have been better off staying dead." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 06:20PM (UTC) Elephant Porn

Posted by goldenlad at 07:12PM (UTC)

Friday, December 12, 2008 Evil Dead The Musical

Posted by goldenlad at 07:43AM (UTC) Bizarre makeovers of 'creatively groomed' poodle Sandra Hartness, 37, uses eight-year-old pet poodle Cindy to demonstrate her designs. Cindy has won dozens of awards after being fluffed, shaved and coloured to look like everything from a chicken to a dragon. And she is quite happy to oblige - sitting perfectly still for more than two hours while the transformation takes place. Mrs Hartness, the owner of pet-grooming salon Sandy Paws, started competitive creative grooming eight years ago. She said: "I found out about creative grooming competitions through an article in a trade magazine called Groomer and Groomer. "I spotted the amazing designs and immediately thought 'gosh!' I can do that and I know I can do it better. "I started to think of pattern ideas and looked for inspiration all around me - from the television, books and even in my back garden. "The competitions are a really big deal - you've got to do the styling in front of hundreds of people.

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"The first couple of times I felt so sick and almost had to back out because of nerves. "But I convinced myself it was just a bit of fun and it's been fine ever since." Sandra's first design was a green dragon, which earned her second prize in the 'First Creative Grooming' category at the Creative Grooming competition. She has since won seven first prizes for her designs, which have to be completed in just two and a half hours. She said: "Competition rules state that you can do some colouring and outline a pattern before the day - but you're not allowed to shave the dog for six weeks beforehand. "You're under quite a lot of pressure but Cindy is so calm and collected when she's on the table - she's all business during the competition. "She just stands there and does her job and when we're done she jumps off the table and wags her tail at everyone. "Cindy is like a show dog - when she's on the table she behaves perfectly." The dogs do not have to stand up for the whole two and a half hours - Cindy is able to lie down and is allowed the occasional toilet break. Sandra, who lives in Yucca Valley, California, admits the reaction to competition and her extraordinary designs is not always positive. She has even received hate mail from people concerned with Cindy's welfare but Sandra insists her beloved dog is not in any danger. She said: "Most people are positive about what I do but lately I've had a lot of negative comments from people saying that it's wrong and I'm hurting Cindy. "I would never hurt my dog - she really is my best friend. "Cindy never leaves my side. She's is like my shadow - We go everywhere together. She even comes to work with me every day. "People don't seem to understand that the colours I use on Cindy are safe enough for a child to eat. "It's food colouring and coloured chalk - both things that children put in their mouths. "I know she won't come to any harm but I have her blood tested at least once a year to be on the safe side. "And Cindy doesn't look like that all the time - most of the colours wash straight out and all the dogs are shaved after the competitions anyway."

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Sandra stressed that she would not do the competitions if Cindy didn't enjoy them and says the pampered poodle enjoys being in the limelight more than her owner. She said: "Cindy loves it - I wouldn't do the contests if she didn't enjoy it but she knows its her job. "When I get my travelling bag out to pack for a contest she knows where we going and gets really excited." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 07:44AM (UTC) Nuts! Chipmunk takes over woman's car When the turn signal and windshield wipers went out on Hope Wideup's car, she didn't think much of it. It was a 2004 with about 60,000 miles, just about the right age and mileage for some minor problems to crop up. What the DeMotte resident didn't expect was what she discovered under the hood of her vehicle. Nuts, black walnuts, and lots of them. "There were thousands in there. They were everywhere," Wideup said. Now, $242 in car repairs and towing later, Wideup thinks she has figured out just how those walnuts made their way to her car. Wideup speculates it all started in the fall when a chipmunk snatched a garden glove from her yard. She tried to chase the creature and get it to drop the glove, but then decided since winter was coming the chipmunk might need it for a nest. She later found the glove in the engine compartment of her car when she was trying to repair the broken turn signal. Since she couldn't fix the turn signal, Wideup let the car sit unused for a couple weeks before dealing with the minor repairs. When she went to start the vehicle, the engine made a huge revving sound. It was at that time she looked under the hood again to find a sea of black walnuts filling the entire engine compartment. "Apparently this little guy stuffed a bunch of these nuts in the accelerator throttle," Wideup said, which caused the engine revving.

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Wideup said she was surprised an animal would do this in a car. She moved to DeMotte in March from Hobart, where she said she saw the occasional chipmunk but never had a problem. Bryan Overstreet with the Jasper County Purdue Extension said animal problems are not uncommon, especially in vehicles that are not used often. However, more often it is mice that take up residence in a vehicle. Once an animal finds its home it can be difficult to stop it from returning. With a vehicle it is important to not let it sit unused. The best bet to stop the animal from continuing the behavior is relocating the creature. "The biggest key is you probably want to keep it from coming back there. You have to move him," Overstreet said. Wideup said so far the chipmunk hasn't returned. She is alternating her two cars so one doesn't sit too long. In the meantime, she is taking the situation in stride. "This time of year I surely wasn't prepared for that $242.08 expense," she said. "It's funny, but it's not." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 01:44PM (UTC) Posted by goldenlad at 06:28PM (UTC) Posted by goldenlad at 06:38PM (UTC) Posted by goldenlad at 06:39PM (UTC)

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Saturday, December 13, 2008 Pub landlord has ashes buried at the bar A dedicated landlord who lived from cradle to grave at the same pub has had his dying wish granted by regulars who had his ashes buried at the bar. Jack Woodward was born in the Boat Inn, Stoke Bruerne, near Towcester, Northants, and lived there until three weeks before his death aged 83. Now his remains lie beneath a flagstone with a plaque reading: "Stand here and have a drink on me. Jack 1924 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 2008." Mr Woodward started on menial tasks at the popular 17th century Boat Inn aged 14 and worked there all his life. He stipulated in his will that he wanted the public bar to be his final resting place. His eldest son Andrew, 52, who now runs The Boat Inn, was only to happy to oblige.

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He said: "He was born in the pub and spent almost his whole life here so it's not too surprising. "He used to sit in the bar quite a bit but latterly he was in a wheelchair, so it was a bit difficult to get him in there. "It was where he would have a drink with some of the regulars." He said his father, who died in May this year, also chose the bar over the local churchyard, St Mary the Virgin, because it was much warmer. He said: "As a youngster, he would have to go twice a day with his father because he played the organ. "Jack had to pump the organ for him and I think he got a bit fed up with having to go there on Sundays, saying it was too cold. "So he is now in an oak casket and exactly where he wanted to be." The octogenarian had three hip operations, two leg amputations and an eye removed towards the end of his life â&#x20AC;&#x201C; but his son insists he never complained. "He said they could take whatever they wanted from him, but they would never take his smile," he said. "He had a very good sense of humour." Source Posted by goldenlad at 11:13AM (UTC) PG Tips puppet monkey to deliver alternative Christmas speech The puppet monkey from the PG Tips tea adverts will dress as the Queen to deliver an alternative Christmas speech this year. Dressed in regal attire including a white frock, pearls and blue sash, the knitted woollen doll called Monkey will brief the nation on the highlights of 2008. The speech, which features the puppet sporting a grey wig, red lipstick, and spectacles perched on its nose, will appear on the video sharing website YouTube from Monday. The content of the festive address has not yet been revealed. The stunt comes ahead of a new advertising campaign for the tea brand. It is a prelude to a pastiche of the Morecambe and Wise breakfast sketch starring the

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chimp and comedian Johnny Vegas that will air for the first time on Christmas Day. The brand’s most recent advertising, which also features Vegas and Monkey, highlighted its deal with the Rainforest Alliance. By 2010 it will buy all of its tea from plantations guaranteed by the alliance. The duo have starred in adverts for PG Tips since 2006. The breakfast sketch is one of Morecambe and Wise’s most famous scenes, in which they make breakfast to the classic striptease theme tune The Stripper. The new advert will screen on ITV1 on Christmas Day between 9.05pm and 9.25pm. The brand, owned by Unilever, claims that Britons drink 35 million cups of its tea every day. Source Posted by goldenlad at 12:41PM (UTC)

Sunday, December 14, 2008 China's pyjamas police fight Shanghai's daytime love of nightwear A local community in Shanghai has set its sights on one of urban China's most intractable social problems: the wearing of pyjamas in public. The neighbourhood committee – a volunteer outpost of the Communist Party – in the city's north-eastern district of Rixin has decided that wearing pyjamas in the street should be discouraged. "We're telling people not to wear pyjamas in the street because it looks very uncivilised," Guo Xilin, a local official, was quoted in local media as saying. In contrast to their leaders' formal appearance at official functions, China boasts some of the most laidback dressers in the world. Partly as a result of living at close quarters in city alleyways, especially since Chairman Mao flooded the rich suburbs with the rural poor, privacy is at a premium and inhibitions are loosened.

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In Shanghai, in particular, it is regarded as socially undesirable to make social visits without appointments in summer, in case the family is lounging around in their underwear to keep the heat at bay. But, wearing pyjamas to pop down to the shops or to communal loos hardly raises an eyebrow.

As China has become richer, the practice has only become more common: having a smart pair of pyjamas shows you can afford not to have to sleep in long-johns and string vests. The Rixin decision has divided the locals. While Mr Guo called pyjamas "visual pollution", one elderly resident was quoted as saying: "Pyjamas are also a type of clothes. It's comfortable, and it's no big deal." Shanghai may, of course, just be trying to keep up with its great rival, Beijing. The capital's Spiritual Civilisation Committee issued scores of edicts in advance of the Olympics governing citizens' behaviour, ranging from instructions on how to queue, apply make-up and comb your hair, to detailed advice on clothing. Its guidelines were particularly critical of men who wore white socks with black shoes, but also weighed in on the subject of both pyjamas and the other great fashion faux pas â&#x20AC;&#x201C; the male trouser leg rolled up to the knee to cool off. Source Posted by goldenlad at 11:49AM (UTC) Farting Jingle Bells

Posted by goldenlad at 02:14PM (UTC) Very friendly Posted by goldenlad at 08:01PM (UTC)

GIGANTIC microbes

Click pic for website and to purchase Posted by goldenlad at 09:09PM (UTC)

Monday, December 15, 2008 Woman told to remove Christmas lights to avoid offending non-Christian neighbours A woman was told to remove her Christmas lights by a housing association worker in

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case they offended non-Christian neighbours. Dorothy Glenn decorates her home in South Shields, Tyne and Wear, with hundreds of festive lights every year, including a giant tree and a 4ft Santa Claus. But this year she was astonished when an employee of South Tyneside Homes called at her house and informed her that the decorations she was displaying might be offending her neighbours. The association has now apologised to Mrs Glenn and started an investigation but a spokesman insisted that removing Christmas lights was not part of their policy. Mrs Glenn, a 41-year-old mother-of-three, said: "I put the lights up in the first week of November and then recently a uniformed housing worker was outside, and it looked like he was counting my decorations. "When I went outside he said that the lights were 'offensive to the community'. If I was offending anyone I could understand why he was telling me, but nobody has complained. "My neighbours are Bengali and Chinese and I know that they love the lights, the children will always point them out when they walk past." Mrs Glenn, who has lived at the property for four years with son Owen, 19, and daughters Samira, 21, and Chelsea, 15, said she valued her close relationship with neighbours and enjoyed living in a community with people from different backgrounds. She said: "I told him that I am far from a racist and that I wouldn't be taking the lights down. I'm shocked, annoyed and upset. At the end of the day, it's the festive season and they're staying." Independent councillor Ahmed Khan, who represents Mrs Glenn's ward, condemned the employee's actions. He said: "Every year this woman puts her Christmas lights up and I know how popular they are. It's great when people make an effort to decorate their houses. "It's this kind of nonsense that sets race relations back 20 years. That woman did nothing more than decorate her house to celebrate Christmas." A spokesman for South Tyneside Council said: "We would like to make it clear that South Tyneside Homes is happy for residents to put up Christmas lights to decorate their homes. "Christmas lights bring a bit of festive cheer to everybody and we are delighted to see examples of tenants and leaseholders across the borough taking so much pride in the ap-

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pearance of their homes. "We have received no complaint about this alleged incident, but are investigating the matter and apologise for any upset this may have caused." Source Posted by goldenlad at 07:45AM (UTC) World's first refrigerated beach The world's first refrigerated beach is being created in Dubai so tourists don't burn their feet. A computer-controlled system of coolant-filled pipes under the sand will keep temperatures comfortable, reports The Sun. The beach will be created next to the new Palazzo Versace hotel in the Arab state. Guests wanting to chill out in summer heat hitting 50째C (122째F) will also have a cooled swimming pool and a gentle breeze generated by huge blowers. Bosses hope the gimmicks at the hotel, due to open late next year or early 2010, will attract some of the 800,000 Brits who visit Dubai each year. British firm Hyder Consulting is overseeing the construction. The five-star hotel is linked to the Versace fashion brand and aims to attract designer-conscious clients. Soheil Abedian, president of the company that owns the Palazzo Versace, said: "This is the kind of luxury top people want." But Rachel Noble, of Tourism Concern, said: "Dubai is like a bubble world where the things that are worrying the rest of the world, like climate change, are simply ignored so people can continue destructive lifestyles." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 10:27AM (UTC) Salvation Army 'banned from rattling charity tins' Salvation Army bands have been forbidden from rattling their charity tins this Christmas to avoid "intimidating" people, it has been claimed. Members have been issued with guidelines stating that they must keep their tins still even when music is playing. One volunteer with the Christian charity said she had been told that rattling could also offend other religions.

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Salvation Army bands are a fixture of town centres over the Christmas period, with the money they raise from performing carols used to support the charity's large network of social programmes. But rarely-enforced laws regulating public collections are now being used by some local councils to limit their work, sparking anger from donors and performers. Band members who breach the rule face being moved on or even prosecuted. "I've been doing this for more than 40 years and I fail to see how rattling a tin could cause offence," one told the Daily Mail newspaper. "If I was shaking a tambourine I could do it all day â&#x20AC;&#x201C; if I shake my tin, I could end up in court." A spokesman for the Salvation Army said their was no blanket ban on rattling tins, but said that volunteers were instructed to stay within the law. It is up to individual local councils and police forces to decide how the rules covering charity collectors are enforced. "We want people to donate from the best of motives, so we advise collectors to avoid rattling their tins or asking people directly for money when stood on the high street," the spokesman said. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 01:31PM (UTC) Swiss watch found in 400-year-old tomb Archeologists in China are baffled after finding a tiny Swiss watch in a 400-yearold tomb. The watch ring was discovered as archeologists were making a documentary with two journalists from Shangsi town. "When we tried to remove the soil wrapped around the coffin, a piece of rock suddenly dropped off and hit the ground with a metallic sound,? said Jiang Yanyu, former curator of the Guangxi Autonomous Region Museum.

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"We picked up the object, and found it was a ring. After removing the covering soil and

examining it further, we were shocked to see it was a watch." The time was stopped at 10:06am, and on the back was engraved the word "Swiss", reports the People's Daily. Local experts say they are confused as they believe the tomb had been undisturbed since it was created during the Ming dynasty 400 years ago. They have suspended the dig and are waiting for experts to arrive from Beijing and help them unravel the mystery. Source

Posted by goldenlad at 04:36PM (UTC) Forget naked jam makers - prisons are the surprise calendar hit for 2009 Forget naked Women's Institute groups or scantily clad fire crews, a calendar featuring the drab walls of Britain's prisons has become a surprise best-seller. Even the Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith, has a copy of the unlikely stocking-filler, Her Majesty's Prisons of England 2009. The less-than-glamorous forms of Strangeways, Wormwood Scrubs, Dartmoor and Pentonville, are among 12 institutions turned into unlikely pin-ups. It follows the surprise success of the Boring Postcard books which became an overnight success with its prints of motorway service stations, roundabouts and shopping centres. The idea was dreamt up by Kevin Beresford, a 56-year-old printer and courier from Worcestershire, whose fascination with the less aesthetically pleasing features of Britain have spawned a series of books and calendars on such subjects as roundabouts and car parks. "Every year you see the same calendars on the shelves, such as Jordan and Cliff Richard, so I decided to come up with something totally unique," he said. "I'm a courier and everywhere I turn there seems to be a prison so I went up and down the country taking pictures and turned them into a calendar. "It started off as a bit of a joke but the orders have been pouring in. "I gave one to Jacqui Smith, who is MP in my hometown of Redditch, and she thought it

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was hilarious." The year begins with Wormwood Scrubs while the Victorian form of HMP Leicester, the all-male Nottingham prison, Long Lartin in Evesham and HMP Gloucester also feature. "The calendar shows prisons from all over England from Hull to Dartmoor," said Mr Beresford. "It seems to appeal to all sorts of people although I've not had any orders from prisons yet." Source Posted by goldenlad at 07:35PM (UTC) Slow-Motion Punches

Posted by goldenlad at 08:28PM (UTC)

Tuesday, December 16, 2008 Now that's a mullet! Posted by goldenlad at 06:42PM (UTC)

Wednesday, December 17, 2008 RAC's strangest call-outs Motorists being locked out of their cars by their pets, a hapless groom who had locked his wedding rings inside his vehicle and even a close encounter with an alligator are among a new list of the most bizarre incidents Britain's breakdown services have been called to. Dogs are the most frequent animal offenders and several have managed to shut their owners out of their vehicles on petrol forecourts by activating the locks with their paws, according to the RAC.

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Its patrols have also attended incidents where dogs had swallowed car keys and damaged vehicles by chewing the wires and steering wheels. One patrol called out to a car that wouldn't start discovered a family of rats living in the fuse box, where they had chewed through all the wires. Another RAC member was mystified as to why he couldn't unlock his car and, on arrival, the patrol had to point out that he was trying to get into the wrong vehicle. Another motorist called up because they had managed to lock ÂŁ80,000 in cash in their boot, while In one of the RAC's more dangerous call-outs a patrol had to fix a van taking an alligator to a zoo. One in three of the motoring organisation's patrols also reported that they had arrived at a call-out to find amorous couples in the broken down vehicle. A survey of its patrols found 39 per cent had helped a motorist get to a life-changing event, such as a wedding, on time and one even reported helping to deliver a baby. RAC patrol of the year Iain Vale said: "Our patrols respond to around 2.7 million roadside assistance call-outs every year and this survey reveals the extent of the very odd and unusual nature of what sometimes awaits us. "Whether it's meeting members who keep their dogs ashes in an urn in the car, calls asking whether they can extend breakdown cover to their electric wheelchairs, or a new kitten that's panicked and hidden in the dashboard, we get our hands dirty." The RAC's other bizarre call-outs included: :: A hapless groom nearly didn't marry his bride when he locked the wedding rings in his car. :: A ÂŁ30,000 violin had to be rescued by a RAC patrol from a jammed seat belt so that its owner could get to a concert in time. :: A kitten being driven to his new home panicked on arrival and escaped into the dashboard of the vehicle. The entire dashboard had to be dismantled. Similar call-outs involved snakes, mice and hamsters. :: On opening the back of a broken down van a patrol was startled by 17 pairs of eyes staring back at him belonging to a cast of falcons. :: One RAC patrol rescued a referee on his way to a football match just hours before the

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game was due to kick off. :: Another patrol rescued a police car, stuck up to its windows in mud having chased a runaway criminal across a ploughed field. Source Posted by goldenlad at 07:43AM (UTC) Driving up an icy hill

Posted by goldenlad at 09:16PM (UTC) Microwave jingle

Posted by goldenlad at 09:19PM (UTC)

Thursday, December 18, 2008 Funny disabled parking sign Posted by goldenlad at 07:51AM (UTC)

Cow is curious Posted by goldenlad at 10:22AM (UTC)

Nigella's XXXmas

Posted by goldenlad at 06:09PM (UTC)

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Knitting for Psychos

Click pic for site. Posted by goldenlad at 06:26PM (UTC)

Cigarette chewing dog killed on way to tobacconists A 10-a-day cigarette chewing 24-year-old Dachshund has been knocked down and killed â&#x20AC;&#x201C; on his way to the tobacconist's shop. General Edi has been munching his way through half a packet of cigarettes every day since he was a puppy, said owner Wolfgang Treirler. But Edi has died after he was hit by a car during a walk to his favourite cigarette shop. "Poor Edi dashed out in the road in excitement right in front of a car. There was nothing anyone could do," said one neighbour in Graz, central Austria. Mr Treirler said:"His old owner abandoned him and so we took him in 17 years ago, and noticed straight away that he was in the habit of eating cigarettes. "He eats the tobacco and the paper, and then chews a while on the filter before spitting it out. "On average he eats about 10 cigarettes a day, but all of his teeth are fine." A local vet, Harald Mayr, said: "Nicotine normally leads to poisoning in dogs, but in this case the animal has obviously become addicted to it which has increased its level of tolerance." Source

Posted by goldenlad at 06:31PM (UTC) New aftershave bottles changing room smell The smell of a football changing room has been made into a new aftershave. Scent of Success is created from a blend of grass, sweat, boot leather and heat spray, reports the Daily Telegraph. It is made by Sports Interactive, who also make cult computer game Football Manager.

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They say it has been created from samples collected from a number of successful teams' dressing rooms. Miles Jacobson, a spokesman for Sports Interactive, said the aftershave will be given away with copies of Football Manager 2009, which was released last month. He said: "If Britney Spears and Kerry Katona can have their own fragrance I don't see why we can't. "Our scent will bring the dressing room into the homes of Football Manager 2009 players, inspiring them for pre-match team talks, preparing them to direct their team from the sidelines and prime them for a tricky press conference." It is the latest in a long line of bizarre scents that have been bottled and sold as fragrance. Burger King has just launched a meat-flavoured body spray called Flame. And earlier this year the Channel 4 soap Hollyoaks launched its own aftershave and perfume range. Source Posted by goldenlad at 06:33PM (UTC) I love hores Posted by goldenlad at 06:35PM (UTC)

Saturday, December 20, 2008 Actual college theme paper Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Well, here's a prime example offered by an English professor at an American University. "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first

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paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking and anything you wish to say must be written on the paper. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two English students: STORY: (First paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question. (Second paragraph by Jim) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17, he said into his trans- galactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed hurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully. (Jim) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted

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wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!" (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent. (Jim) Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F*CKING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels." (Rebecca) Asshole. (Jim) Bitch. (Rebecca) Wanker. (Jim) slut. (Rebecca) Get f*cked. (Jim) Eat shit. (Rebecca) F*CK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!

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(Jim) Go drink some tea - whore. (Teacher) A+ I really liked this one. Posted by goldenlad at 04:59PM (UTC) Dolphin Stampede

Posted by goldenlad at 06:18PM (UTC) The most popular guy in prison Posted by goldenlad at 09:59PM (UTC)

Sunday, December 21, 2008 Best bathroom signs ever Posted by goldenlad at 10:18AM (UTC)

Wizard of Oz (Alternate Ending)

Posted by goldenlad at 06:05PM (UTC) Fake DVD dealer tries to sell films to trading standards officers

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The office Christmas meal turned into a working lunch for trading standards officers when they were approached by a man who tried to sell them fake DVDs. The hapless dealer hoped to make a quick profit after spotting a group of office workers in the Rose and Crown pub in Streatham, south London. But he made the mistake of offering up to 300 fake DVDs to officers of Lambeth Council who are responsible for cracking down on counterfeit sales. They showed the man their identification before seizing the discs and his mobile phone. He will be questioned by trading standards officers and police this week. Ray Bouch, senior trading standards officer for the council, said: "This guy definitely picked the wrong customers. He looked a bit shocked to say the least when we produced our ID and it dawned on him who we were. "The afternoon turned into something of a working lunch for us. Our turkey went a bit cold while we were questioning him and confiscating his goods, but it's our job to get these things off the streets. "A lot of people think buying fake DVDs is a victimless crime, but street sellers are often working for crime cartels linked to drugs, people smuggling and other crimes, and they use sales of illegal DVDs to fund their activity." The DVDs being offered for sale included Hollywood titles as well as illegal pornography. Cllr Sally Prentice said: "Lambeth's trading standards officers are never off duty." Source Posted by goldenlad at 06:34PM (UTC) Purple squirrel baffles experts A purple squirrel which appeared at a school has baffled experts who are unable to explain its colour. Teachers and pupils at Meoncross School in Stubbington, Hants, were amazed when they saw the creature through the window during a lesson. Since the squirrel, now nicknamed Pete, was first seen, it has become a regular fixture at the school but no one has been able to say whether the animal has fallen into purple paint, had a run-in with some purple dye, or whether there is another explanation.

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Dr Mike Edwards, an English teacher, said: "I was sitting in my classroom and looked out the window and saw it sitting on the fence. I had to do a double take. "Since then it's been a bit of a regular at the school - everyone's seen it. "We thought it might have been paint or something but then when you look at it up close, it's an all over coat, not in patches like you'd expect if it had been near some paint. "Its fur actually looks purple all the way through. It's an absolute mystery." Pupils, staff and parents have contacted vets and even e-mailed television nature expert Bill Oddie to see if an explanation could be found. Lorraine Orridge, the school's registrar, believes Pete's coloured fur looks like a school uniform. She said: "The squirrel has become a bit of a legend among staff and pupils at the school. "He makes an appearance most days and we always look forward to seeing him. "We don't think he is a mutant squirrel but he may have had a mishap around the school. "The old building where we have seen him nipping in and out is a bit of a graveyard for computer printers. He may have found some printer toners in there. "We haven't seen any purple baby squirrels yet." TV wildlife expert Chris Packham believes Pete will moult and lose his purple fur in time for spring. He said: "I have never seen anything like it before. "Squirrels will chew anything even if it's obviously inedible. It is possible he has been chewing on a purple ink cartridge and then groomed that colouring into his fur. "Alternatively he may have fallen into a bucket containing a weak colour solution that has stained his fur. "Underneath there's a normal grey squirrel who has just given himself an unusual hair colour - you would pay a fortune for that in some salons." Source Posted by goldenlad at 06:37PM (UTC)

Tuesday, December 23, 2008 Longest moustache ever

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Posted by goldenlad at 05:15AM (UTC) Posted by goldenlad at 11:21AM (UTC)

Special service: The 72-year-old milkman who delivered cannabis with the daily pinta Robert Holding was the sort of milkman who always liked to help his customers - particularly the elderly ones. So if they left him a little note asking for something extra, he tried to get it for them. But some of their requests went beyond the usual dozen eggs or bottle of orange juice. Holding, 72, has admitted supplying cannabis to some of his older customers. He was caught placing small bars of cannabis resin into empty egg cartons, and leaving them on doorsteps. When he was confronted by police, Holding told officers he would only ever supply pensioners with the drug to help them with their 'aches and pains'. Cannabis has been shown in studies to help ease pain in arthritis and other conditions. But a judge told the elderly milkman his special delivery service would inevitably lead to a spell behind bars. Burnley Crown Court has heard that Holding only delivered to pensioners on his delivery round who had found out about his extra service by word of mouth. The grandfather had 17 drug customers who would regularly ask for cannabis. Police said that the customers would leave out handwritten notes with their empty milk

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bottles requesting him to leave the Class C drugs with his next delivery. Acting on information, police launched an undercover operation and watched him as he delivered milk on his regular round over several weeks. Finally they arrested the pensioner at his home in Burnley, Lancashire. During a search of the house, officers found 167 grams of the Class C drug. In a police interview Holding accepted he had supplied cannabis resin to 17 households while on his milk delivery round. Holding appeared in court charged with two counts of supplying and possessing the drug between April 1 and July 18 this year. Wearing blue jeans and a scruffy dark jersey, Holding pleaded guilty to the charges. Phil Holden, defending, told the court: 'The defendant, in police interview, mentioned who he dealt to. He said it was for elderly people with aches and pains. 'Those who he supplied, and there were not many, were through word of mouth and his customers were all of a certain age.' Mr Holden said the grandfather supplied a small bar of cannabis to his regular customers every three to four weeks. Adjourning the case, Judge Beverley Lunt said that Holding, who has previous convictions but none for drug dealing, faced an inevitable jail sentence. Judge Lunt said: ' You must understand these are serious offences and in my judgment the likely outcome is an immediate custodial sentence.' The case was adjourned for a pre-sentence report. Holding was released on bail and will be sentenced at Burnley Crown Court on February 6. Studies suggest that cannabis and cannabis-based medicines can provide effective pain relief for those suffering from illnesses. It is also thought to help fight nausea and vomiting in the advanced stages of cancer and AIDS. Campaigners also claim that the drug can be useful in treating asthma, strokes, Parkinson's Disease and Alzheimer's Disease. A House of Lords Science and Technology Committee has recommended its use for medicinal purposes. Source Posted by goldenlad at 11:21AM (UTC) Posted by goldenlad at 03:44PM (UTC)

Wednesday, December 24, 2008 City hit by 'legal to pee' prank People should ignore signs telling them that it is legal to urinate in certain public places in Nottingham, the city council said. The signs, which were put up by pranksters in and around Nottingham, are designed to look official. They feature a toilet sign and include the words: "Public Urination Permitted After

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7.30pm". Nottingham City Council is now urging the public to ignore the notices as it sets about removing them. The prank also featured a laminated note, headed with the logo of Nottingham City Council, which said the scheme was aimed at reducing the mess faced by residents outside their homes. A spokeswoman for the authority said: "It is an offence to urinate in public and these signs have been put up illegally, for whatever reason. "We would urge people to ignore them, otherwise they could find themselves inadvertently facing a prosecution. "We are taking the signs down as quickly as possible and if anyone spots one of the illegal signs we ask them to please contact the city council so they can be removed." The notice reads: "In an attempt to reduce late night public nuisance, during the holiday period, Nottingham City Council has designated several public urination areas across the city. "This urination area will be cleaned daily between the hours of 5am and 6am." Source Posted by goldenlad at 07:41AM (UTC) Posted by goldenlad at 08:09AM (UTC) Posted by goldenlad at 08:48AM (UTC) Inquiry into US plastic surgeon who 'used fat from clients to run car' US authorities are investigating a Beverly Hills cosmetic surgeon who claims that he used fat he removed from patients in liposuction operations to power his "green" fourwheel-drive car. California's public health department has opened an inquiry into claims made by Dr Alan Bittner that he had turned fat removed from his patients into biodiesel. Mr Bittner wrote on his website: "The vast majority of my patients request that I use their fat for fuel - and I have more fat than I can use. "Not only do they get to lose their love handles or chubby belly, but they get to take part in saving the Earth."

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The website lipodiesel.com has since been shut down and Mr Bittner's clinic has closed.

US business magazine Forbes reported that Dr Bittner used the "lipofuel" to power both his Ford Explorer car and his girlfriend's Lincoln Navigator. It is not known how Dr Bittner went about turning the fat sucked out of patients into fuel. But he claims to have carried out more than 7,000 lipo operations - and according to Forbes, a gallon of fat will produce about a gallon of fuel, and drivers can get about the same amount of mileage from fat fuel as they do from regular diesel. It is illegal in the US to use human medical waste to power vehicles. Source Posted by goldenlad at 12:20PM (UTC)

Thursday, December 25, 2008 Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Posted by goldenlad at 11:15AM (UTC)

Friday, December 26, 2008 'World's unluckiest tourists' witness three separate terrorist attacks A couple have been labelled the world's unluckiest tourists after being caught up in three separate terror attacks during their holidays. Jason and Jenny Cairns-Lawrence, from Dudley, West Midlands, were in central Mumbai last month when the Indian city came under siege from Islamic militants. They were also in New York during September 11 2001 when terrorists flew two passenger planes into the World Trade Centre, bringing down the twin towers and killing almost 3,000 people. And four years later they were in London on July 7, when terrorists blew up three London Underground trains and a double decker bus, resulting in the deaths of 52 commuters. Dental laboratory worker Mrs Cairns-Lawrence, 26, said: "It's a strange coincidence. The terror attacks just happened when we were in the cities." The couple praised Mumbai for the city's speedy recovery, adding that it had been somewhat of an inspiration. She added: "As I looked around, it was impossible to tell that such a ghastly thing had

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happened. "In New York people carried the look of terror in their eyes for weeks after the carnage. "In London, the police appeared more scared than the people." The couple refused to cut short their holiday following the Mumbai attack, which saw 164 people killed in coordinated attacks on hotels, a restaurant, a Jewish centre and a train station. Mr Cairns-Lawrence, a sales manager, 42, said: "I would say that Mumbai sprang back to its feet faster than New York or London. "New York took almost a week to come back to normal. But Mumbai was back to its usual business from day three. "It was just amazing." Source Posted by goldenlad at 12:23PM (UTC)

Saturday, December 27, 2008 Guide dog eats charity money A guide dog infuriated its owners by eating ÂŁ255 of charity money they had collected. Gordon and Claire Webb left the cash on a coffee table overnight but were worried when they awoke to find it missing. But after spotting a few chewed notes lying around their house, it soon emerged that their dog Lewis was the culprit. They had to wait for nature to take its course before they were able to retrieve some of the shredded notes. And the Bank of England has promised the couple that it will try to replace some of the money if they can collect enough remnants and take them to a bank. The cash had been collected for local charities by the Frinton Rotary Club in Essex after two fund-raising events. Mr Webb, a Rotarian, said: "I went down in the morning and thought he had just shredded some paper. Then I realised what it was: lots of chewed notes. "I think I lost my voice for two days shouting at him, but we can't be cross with him for long as he's just too cute. He gets round us very quickly."

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Mr Webb has promised to refund any losses to the charity caused by Lewis. The couple added that they have now pledged to hide any money where the five-year-old labrador/retriever cross cannot reach it. They have managed to save some of the torn notes and plan to take them to a bank after Christmas. Source Posted by goldenlad at 11:20AM (UTC) Marking in red ink banned in case it upsets schoolchildren Hundreds of schools have banned their teachers from marking in red ink in case it upsets the children. They are scrapping the traditional method of correcting work because they consider it "confrontational" and "threatening". Pupils increasingly find that the ticks and crosses on their homework are in more soothing shades like green, blue, pink and yellow or even in pencil. Traditionalists have condemned the ban sweeping classrooms as "absolutely barmy", "politically correct" and "trendy". They insist that red ink makes it easier for children to spot errors and improve. The red pen goes back further than most schools, having been developed during the mid19th century when ammonia-based dyes became available. But the opposition to using red ink is now a worldwide trend with recent guidelines to schools in Queensland, Australia warning that the colour can damage students psychologically. There are no set guidelines in this country on marking, and schools are free to formulate their own individual policies. Crofton Junior School in Orpington, Kent, whose pupils are aged 7 to 11, is among hundreds to have banned red ink. Its 'Marking Code of Practice' states: "Work is generally marked in pen - not red - but on occasion it may be appropriate to indicate errors in pencil so that they may be corrected. Teachers must be sensitive about writing directly onto pupils' final work." Head teacher Richard Sammonds said: "Red pen can be quite de-motivating for children. "It has negative, old school connotations of 'See me' and 'Not good enough'. "We are no longer producing clerks and bookkeepers. We are trying to provide an education for children coming into the workforce in the 21st century.

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"We use highlighter pens in all colours of the rainbow Ă&#x201A; apart from red. "There are pinks, blues, greens and fluorescent yellows. The idea is to raise standards by taking a positive approach. "We highlight bits that are really good in one colour and use a different colour to mark areas that could be improved." Hutton Cranswick Community Primary School in Driffield, East Yorkshire also has a ban. Its 'Marking and Feedback Policy' reads: 'Marking should be in a different colour or medium from the pupil's writing but should not dominate. For this reason, red ink is inappropriate.' Shirley Clarke, an associate of the Institute of Education, said: "Banning red ink is a reaction to years of children having nothing but red over their work and feeling demoralised. "If since Victorian times, teachers had used blue ink to highlight good work and red for areas of improvement, people probably would not have got so upset about red ink. "But when children, especially young children, see every single spelling mistake covered in red, they can feel useless and give up." However, she warned that children could soon realise that green is the new red. She said: "In actual fact, the colour of ink used to mark is irrelevant. It would be equally damaging to keep covering a child's work in green ink, picking up on every mistake. "It is all about the balance of the marking, pointing to a child's successes as well as where they could improve so that they do take it all on board." Nick Seaton, chairman of the Campaign for Real Education, said: "Banning red ink is absolutely barmy. "Common sense suggests that children learn by their mistakes and occasionally they need upsetting to teach them to pull their socks up. "Self-esteem has to be built on genuine achievement, not mollycoddling, which only harms children in the long-run. "Red ink is the quickest way for pupils to see where they are going wrong and raise standards. "This is politically correct, trendy teaching gone mad. I give teachers who have ditched their red pens nought out of ten. They've failed." Source Posted by goldenlad at 11:21AM (UTC) Quiz show addict who just keeps on winning

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A television quiz show addict who has won more than £50,000 in 20 appearances is celebrating again after scooping £29,000 on the game show 'Deal or No Deal'. A television quiz show addict who has won more than £50,000 in 20 appearances is celebrating again after scooping £29,000 on the game show Deal or No Deal. Father-of-three Leon Wilczynski, 52, a sales manager for a refrigerator company, was watching Bob Monkhouse's Full House in 1986 when he began answering questions in his living room. Encouraged by his ex-wife to enter, he applied to be a contestant and has since appeared on The Weakest Link, Wheel Of Fortune, 15 to One and Brainteaser. His latest appearance was alongside Noel Edmonds on the random number game show where he won £29,000 pounds – although he missed out on a possible £65,000. He used the winnings to take his wife on holiday to Turkey. Mr Wilczynski, who lives in Huddersfield, West Yorks., with present wife Casey, 52, said: "I'd always enjoyed quizzes and I like to participate in things. "I was sat there answering Bob Monkhouse's questions and my ex-wife was getting fed up. She basically said 'If you're so good why don't you go on it?' "A number flashed up at the end so I rang them, and to my astonishment I got on after an audition. "I've won several luxury holidays and quite a lot of money. It might sound corny but I don't go on for the money. "Every single show I have been on has been an absolutely brilliant experience. They really look after you and you meet some wonderful people. "Basically, normal life can be a bit dull and boring. This breaks up the routine and I have always liked to get involved." Mr Wilczynski applied to appear on the Channel 4 show and had to take two weeks' holiday from work. He said: "I asked my boss for two weeks off to go on a game show – luckily he was great and wished me the best of luck. They film three shows a day so generally you only need a fortnight off.

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"When my name was called out to play the game I was blubbing a little. That's because 15 minutes earlier a contestant called Sam had walked away with just a fiver when she could have won 9,000 pounds. "She was a lovely lass and really needed the money so we were all gutted for her. Then she was whisked away and we had to go out in front of the cameras again. It was nervewracking and quite emotional." He added that his quiz show appearances have not always been successful. He said: "In the mid nineties I went on a show called Crosswits with the comedian Barry Cryer presenting. "I saw my opponents were two little old ladies, and as they walked slowly into the studio I thought I would be nice to them, not be too competitive and not humiliate them. "I got an absolute hammering. It turned out they were members of Mensa and wiped the floor with me. It was a total humiliation and I got a fair bit of stick for it. My ambition is to appear on Countdown â&#x20AC;&#x201C; I think everyone loves that show." Source Posted by goldenlad at 11:23AM (UTC) Britain's weirdest phobias include a fear of peas and kneecaps A terror of frozen peas, a fear of barns and a dread of kneecaps have emerged as some of Britain's most unusual phobias. While spiders and heights are common sources of anxiety, many people's lives are blighted by phobias of seemingly innocuous objects. David Allison, a therapist based at Addenbrooke's hospital, in Cambridge, was filmed treating some of the worst sufferers in an ITV1 documentary to be shown next week. They included Sue Williams, 37, from Dudley in the West Midlands, who is so terrified of knees that she has not touched her own for 16 years and cannot say "kneecap" without bursting into tears. "I don't like my own. I can't touch them. I certainly can't touch anyone else's," she said. "I know it's strange. People tease me about it and they have got every right to. But I think I'm the normal one and everyone else is weird." Until her therapy sessions, Mrs Williams was unable to wash her knees in the bath and could not look at her husband's knees.

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Mr Allison's treatment involved showing her photographs of knees, which reduced her to sobs. In the final session, he wore a pair of shorts and encouraged her to look at his

kneecaps until the feelings of terror subsided. Louise Arnold, from Gloucester, has a pea phobia which means she cannot walk down the frozen food aisle of a supermarket. Explaining her dislike of peas, she said: "They tend to just look at me â&#x20AC;&#x201C; ganging up on me. All the hairs on the back of my neck go up. I have to know where they are in the supermarket before I go in. It's just controlling my life now. I would like to be a dinner lady at my daughter's school, but I'm not even able to be in the same room as someone eating them." Other sufferers in the programme included Kim Crosby, from Cambridge, who is terrified of barns. "It's very hampering in the summertime because I would like to drive around with the roof of my car down, but then there is nothing to protect me." Mr Allison treated another patient, Earleen Taylor, who is so frightened of frogs that she sprints from her car to her front door in case one is lurking in the garden. Miss Taylor, of Sutton, Surrey, said: "I have a sixth sense for frogs. When it has been raining, I'm on red alert. I start to hyperventilate, and am gripped by fear." Tea bags, tree roots and midgets are other terrors discussed in Britain's Weirdest Phobias, broadcast on Tuesday at 8pm. Source Posted by goldenlad at 11:24AM (UTC) Record numbers change names by deed poll A record 46,000 people changed their names by deed poll this year, including one man now called Happy Adjustable Spanners after losing a drunken bet. Other eccentric names adopted by Britons this year include Luscious Lemons, General Ninja Ant and Aron Mufasa Columbo Fonzerelli Ball In A Cup Boogie Woogie Brown. A 61-year-old woman from Exmouth in Devon changed her name to Saxon Knight to mark her retirement. Mrs Knight, formerly Janice Glover, said: "To me retirement is the start of a new life so I decided I would get a new name too. I chose Saxon because I love the UK. "I have changed it on my driver's licence and passport too. People seem to like it." The number of people who changed their legal names in 2008 was up 15 per cent on the previous year, due to the increasing number of divorces and a rise in the number of older people applying online.

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Mike Barratt, chief executive of the UK Deed Poll Service, said they expect a surge of applications next month as family rows over Christmas cause couples to separate. "January is hectic because thousands of people have a 'new name for the new year' attitude and also because there are many marital breakdowns over the Christmas period resulting in separated women wanting to revert to their maiden name." Although most people adopt a new name for marital or relationship reasons, hundreds made the change to bring a bit of cheer to their lives. There is now also a Mr Tintin Captain Haddock Confused Brewer, a N'Tom TheHayemaker Haywardyouliketocomebacktomine and a McLovin, the latter named after the lead character in the teenage film Superbad. Mr Brewer, a 25-year-old stockbroker from Leeds who used to go by the name Chris, chose Tintin due to his receding hairline. Captain Haddock is another Tintin reference. Source Posted by goldenlad at 11:25AM (UTC)

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