DECEMBER __ 2011
ISSUE NO. 8
THE GORDONIAN
PRODUCED BY GORDON SCHOOL STUDENTS
A Piece of the Past You may have noticed that the name has changed from The Gordon Gazette to The Gordonian. It was recently acknowledged by the staff of this newspaper that for historic reasons, the name should be changed. The Gordonian was first published in 1918 at the Gordon School. At the time of the first issue, the school was still on the East Side of Providence. The Gordonian featured works by students. Works ranged from poetry to essays to drawings. Schedules of the classes were also listed in the issues. Inside of the front cover, advertisements from companies such as Autocrat Coffee were printed inside. Many famous names appeared inside of the issue. You could see former Rhode Island Governor John H. Chafee’s poems from when he was in third grade! Children wrote works about WWI, WWII, and the Great Depression. The way that the events of their time effected their writing is most astounding.
Pictured are many issues of the Gordonian.You can look forward to hearing more about the original paper in later editions of the new Gordonian. Photo by Amy Vogel.
Unfortunately, this wonderful collection of documents came to an end. Th e G o r d o n i a n s t o p p e d printing and, tragically, it died. We the staff of the school newspaper want to recreate the
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horoscope
Think you know who these shoes belong to? See if you can match teachers to their respective shoes on page 4.
Ever wanted to know your future? Check out the December horoscopes on page 7. Prediction: You are in store for a laugh-out-loud funny horoscope!
The Gordonian. Noticing that The Gordon Gazette practically mirrors the values and purpose of The Gordonian, we have decided to create the twentyfirst century version of it.
httplegosharrypotter.co.cc
Need some gift ideas? Want to know which ones are the most popular this year? Take a look at the Wish-List Countdown on 1
Optimism Is Key Based off of Sunny Side Up by Audrey D. Brashich
Attitude is a character trait that some people display which can have a negative connotation if they are less than agreeable or appear arrogant to others. However one of the most important aspects of a healthy life is to develop a selfdiscipline of seeing the world and your future as one filled with hope and confidence. If you plan for and expect success you are well on your way to having it. Living your life with this “glass is half-full” mindset is what makes a person an optimist as opposed to a pessimist - one who sees the same glass as halfempty, always expecting a negative outcome. The more enthusiastic energy you throw out, the more you will receive! Here are four concrete ways to improve your outlook on life:
Photo by Kayla Pina
Accentuate the Positive: The first is to look for the positive within the negative, and make the best of what you can’t change. There are many things in life that you won’t be able to control. What you can take command over is how you respond to the things that don’t go your way.
Get Up and Go: Getting active is a major way to boost your mood, and attitude. Daily exercise is crucial to maintain a happy and optimistic mindset. Working out releases hormones called endorphins which are the bodies natural way to feel energized. This proves that there is no better way to increase your positive perspective than working out.
Here and Now: It is virtually impossible to change the things that have already happened, so why dwell on the past? The more you focus on the good that is happening now instead of pondering the uncertain future or brooding on the past, the happier you will be. Continually mulling over the things that already happened darkens your mood and can manifest you into a pessimist.
Reason Rules: Every small step you take means that you are gradually getting closer towards your goal, so don’t beat yourself up for not landing the role right away, or making the team the first time. Set yourself up for success. That means that you shouldn’t make your goals too lofty and unreasonable. Small victories can still help you get where you want to go, so don’t give up and think negatively, just strive for “Great,” not “Perfection” every time and you will be much happier, resulting in more optimism. 2
Wish-List Countdown NUMBER ONE: IPAD 2
The number one wanted gift of 2011 is: the iPad 2! The iPad is one of the colorful pieces, one can build almost anything; a few popular sets are The Black Pearl from Pirates of the Caribbean, Hogwarts, and a space most popular tablets available right shuttle. now. It is equipped with a large 9.7 6. Many people would like a Kindle this year, the ease of ebooks have inch screen, and a front and back made this piece of technology very popular. From your couch, you can facing camera. With these cameras, use this to buy a book that gets sent right to this device, which has six people can FaceTime chat with people different models. There are two versions that have an E-Ink display that looks just like paper, and the newest addition, the Kindle Fire, is a anywhere else in the world with an tablet similar to the iPad, but for a much lower cost. This little device iPod Touch, iPhone, iPad, or Mac weighs just under six ounces, is about as thick as a pencil, holds computer. This device is a cross charge for an entire month, and can keep over a thousand full books. between an iPod and a computer, you Also, with the Kindle Fire, one can download apps and games, rent movies, browse the internet, and read full color magazines. This also get the best of each. This can be used has free cloud storage for all your purchases, so if you have like a computer, typing documents and connection to the internet it doesn’t matter how much space you have putting them on FirstClass or left. GoogleDocs, taking notes, or surfing 5. Another very popular gift this year is Beats by Dr. Dre. Beats are the web. It can also be used like an luxurious headphones designed by Dr. Dre with superior sound quality and sleek designs. There are seven over-ear models ranging from $200 iPod to listen to music and play to $600. They are very popular headphones, and have a very smooth games. 7. This holiday season, Legos are a very sought after gift. Using small
appearance. These headphones while being very cool provide great sound quality, so you can hear songs the way the artist intended them to be heard. 4. In fourth place, we have Ugg boots. Ugg boots are special furry boots made by Ugg Australia, who also makes slippers and snow boots. They are very soft on the inside, made with sheepskin. These are very popular among middle school girls, and are said to be very comfortable. Just make sure to waterproof them!
3. In third, this year is a tie between the Xbox 360 and the PlayStation 3. These are both major gaming consoles, which one to get is really preference. With these, there are Xbox Live and the PlayStation Network. Using these, you can talk to and play with your friends across the world, or just download a new game or two. Also, there is now Kinect and PlayStation Move, which makes you the controller; you no longer need any devices. You can just get up and start moving to control the game, such as swinging your hand to swing a tennis racquet, or making a swishing motion to cast expelliarmus. 2. In second place we have another tie; the iPhone and iPod Touch. These are basically the same devices, except acts as a phone, and the other does not. Also, the iPhone has a slightly better camera. Recently, Apple unveiled the iPhone 4S, introducing Siri. This is an application that just by putting the phone up to your ear or pressing a button, you now have a personal assistant that can send texts, make calls, or search the web for you, at the command of your voice. These devices not only play an astounding selection of music, but also run thousands of games. Many of these games are free, too! Some popular titles are Angry Birds, Fruit Ninja, and Call of Duty: Zombies.
Poll Results
Top of the Wish-List For Gordon MIddle Scho olers Apple Product
25%
Video Game
18%
Money/Gift Cards
11%
Clothing/Accessories
10%
Musical Instrument
7%
Cell Phone
5%
Pet
3%
Other
21%
3
Match Teachers To Their Shoes* Teachers:
Mrs. Ginn
1
5
2
6
Relationship Advice
Mrs. Romanzi Mr. Joe (Miller) Mrs. Ridley Mrs. Arias Mr. Burnstein
3
Mr. Carson
7 4
*Answers at bottom of page Photos taken by Bari Weinreich and Kayla Pina.
Sudoku!
•••
Curious from Barrington asks: “I have a date with this really cute girl. Is there such thing as too much cologne?” Great question, and the answer I have for you is it depends on which cologne. If it is a strong cologne like, Gucci Guilty Pour Homme, than there can be too much. One or two squirts may be good enough. If it is a medium cologne like Tommy Fresh than go with up to 5 squirts. For a weaker scent, like Extasia or Curve, go crazy. You can use north of 10 squirts if you want. (WARNING: IF YOU USE MORE THAN 10 YOU MAY ATTRACT EXCESSIVE FEMALE ATTENTION.) Remember not to use Old Spice or AXE. Nothing annoys a girl like too much AXE. Also you need to have a certain amount of swagger to pull off cologne. In other words, don’t wear cologne with a bow-tie. Wear it with a blue dress shirt with a white collar and white cuffs (the cuffs should be French), with the top 2-3 buttons undone. Do this and it will be a great date. 4
Answers: 1. Carson 2. Romanzi 3. Joe 4. Ginn 5. Arias 6. Burnstein 7. Ridley
HOTTOPIC. Here’s my impression: First impressions have been made, remembered, pondered, and perhaps even forgotten about all of us. When you walk onto a stage to perform, the audience will assess your character, your stage presence, and your confidence. When you run onto the field with your teammates, the other team is likely to judge you before the game even starts. When you walk into an office of an admissions person at a high school you hope to get into, the admissions person is probable to evaluate you based on every move you make, every word uttered from your lips. More than just first impressions, though, the overall impression is a ver y power ful phenomenon. The first impression is certainly a part of the long-term impression, but minds can change, especially in middle school. Look around at your friends. How many of them did you consider and adversary in kindergarten, or even just last year? The person whom you might have hated all your life could become the person who you would trust with your life seemingly overnight. The things that happen in middle school do not determine the fate of your very existence. With that said, certain times will come around, and when those times come, know that how you act will be pertinent. There are some times that even though you will not be receiving a grade nor a penalty based on your actions, your conscience tells you that you must behave your best. When you are aware that somebody important is evaluating you, and whatever you do will be their first impression of you, you are likely to operate in a way which you believe they will be impressed by. And beyond just first impressions, there is that everlasting final impression. The first impression can be forgotten through the influence of the overall impression, b u t t h e l a s t i mp r e s s i o n w i l l b e fo r e ve r immortalized. The last performance, the last game of the season, the last minute of the interview, the last week of school, and finally, graduation. The last impression is your last chance to make somebody or some collection of people see you differently. It is your chance to turn a situation upside down, change a mind, make a statement. So while the first impression is a powerful one, and the overall impression is the summary, the last impression is the ultimate one, and the conclusiveness has momentous value.
New Year’s Resolutions... That time of year has come around again! Who doesn’t love to make New Year’s Resolutions? No, really, because apparently the answer is that everybody hates them. This article was originally going to be about teachers, and their New Year’s Resolutions, but they didn’t actually have any. I was going to just ask them to make one up, but I decided instead to write about how no one has a resolution. First things first, what is a New Year’s Resolution? According to Wikipedia, “A New Year resolution is a commitment that an individual makes to one or more personal goals, projects, or the reforming of a habit.” So you are basically promising yourself that you will do something that will be for your own benefit. According to the Huffington Post, fewer than half of all New Year’s Resolutions last longer than February. That’s cool, but why does it happen? Well, people always have great ideas of what they want in life. It sounds great to say, “I’m not going to eat chocolate for a whole year!” The problem with that is, you go to a fancy party and everyone else has a huge slice of a triple chocolate layer cake and you end up being the lame one sitting there eating broccoli and carrot sticks. If that is what you do, that’s totally cool. Seriously. I’m just saying that temptation is really hard to resist. I strongly encourage you to make a New Year’s Resolution this year. Even if you don’t keep it past February, you can still say you made it. It doesn’t really matter anyway. Together we will bring it back!
5
December Horoscopes ••• Sagittarius: November 22- December 21
Horoscope: When you are doing those ridiculous exercises that make you look funny, record it and send it everyone you know just because you feel like it. The only pens that are legal for you to use are the ones with neon yellow ink. If you find a lost dog that is approximately 200 pounds running around in your yard, don’t be frightened. It probably won’t hurt you. Don’t forget, you have to take the good with the bad (which doesn’t really make sense... Shouldn’t it be, “you have to take the bad with the good?”) Capricorn: December 22- January 20
Horoscope: You know, if I agreed with you about that thing you were planning on doing, we’d both be wrong... That awkward moment when you start typing “that awkward moment when” but you don’t have an awkward moment so it sort of turns itself into an awkward moment but you didn’t plan on it being as awkward of a moment as it is now all because you didn’t have an awkward moment prepared when you started typing “that awkward moment when.” If that made perfect sense the first time you read it, I’m a little bit worried about you... Aquarius: January 19- February 18
Aries: March 21- April 19
Horoscope: If you ever feel the need to be alone, but you have been invited to an event, just tell the host, “Sorry! I can’t come... My sister’s friend’s mother ’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish has just died. It was tragic.” It works every time, even two or more days in a row... Inflatable hammers are the best things for you to use if you want to glue a piece of paper to some pie. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Taurus: April 20- May 20 Horoscope: George Bush once said,
“My mother made me eat broccoli. I hate broccoli. I am the President of the United States. I will not eat anymore broccoli.” If the number eight keeps appearing in your dreams, it probably means that the number eight has some significance in your life. Just don’t ask me what that is. If you think you are failing English, that’s unpossible! Don’t be alarmed when your favorite store has a sign that says, “Sorry, we’re open!” Try not to be too disappointed either. Gemini: May 21- June 20 Horoscope: While an apple a day keeps the doctor away, an onion a day keeps everyone away. Liking Elmo because of the tickling is the best reason to like Elmo. If you spill a purple drink on your favorite pair of orange pants, try wearing three glow-stick necklaces and breaking them so the glow stuff spills onto your magenta shirt. Your favorite song this month should have the word “behoove” in it. Don’t forget your bumbershoot when you go outside and it is raining.
Horoscope: When you wear your apple-blue colored sweatshirt to a party celebrating Valentine’s Day this December, don’t be surprised when people look at you funny for wearing apple-blue instead of asparagus-blue. D o n ’t t e l l p e o p l e t o g o s t a n d somewhere else, even if their existence gives you a headache, because you could hurt their feelings and their out of control mongoose's feelings. Ian Hay said, “What do you mean funny? Funny peculiar, or funny ha-ha?” Cancer: June 21- July 22 Pisces: February 19- March 20 Horoscope: When you finally decide
to buy a platypus from the local plant store, you should teach it how to run like a fish as soon as possible! Sitting on tables is always better than sitting next to tables. You might be leaving to your house to go find someone, but they might show up at your door before you leave. Just don’t think that they are stalking you. A badger might decide to eat your eraser. Don’t be offended.
Horoscope: Guess what?! Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting one in a fruit salad. When you are drinking peaches, make sure you use a stroon. If someone shouts, “gardyloo!” at you, you should probably move. If you don’t water might fall on your head. Unless you are standing on your head, then the water will fall on your feet. Try not to break your hippocampus, you might need it later.
Leo: July 23- August 22
Horoscope: You should write a song. A song about a pecan (the bird, not the nut). Then you should sing this song for the talent show. And you will be a winner. If your name starts with A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, or Z,every day this December you should say hello to someone who’s name starts with the same letter as your name. Don’t forget to polish your Scandinavian shoes by the 27th! Remember, “someday” is not a day of the week! So, if you commit a crime, you're guilty. Even if you are unaware of the crime you have committed. Virgo: August 23- September 22
Horoscope: Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood. Effluviums are rather unlucky this month, so be careful. If speaking to the hoi polloi makes you nervous, try speaking in front of really large crowds to help you. If people start talking gobbledygook at you, just pretend you know what they are saying. It is best if you don’t even try to understand, because you will just get more confused. Like they say, if you can’t convince them, bumfuzzle them. Libra: September 23- October 22
Horoscope: If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants. You might get a headache if you hit your glabella with a power tool. Don’t bloviate about your new snickersnee, because you shouldn’t have one... Getting rid of all that gewgaw in your room is a good way to spend 1 7/234325 days of your December break. If you see any shneee, you should probably run before the dragon smells you. If you see a flink of cows, let me know, because cows moo. It is also good luck for you this December. So don’t worry if a flick of cows randomly appear in front of you while you are doing stuff. Scorpio: October 23- November 21
Horoscope: Try not to tell any taradiddles this month, most people like to be told the truth. If someone calls you at three in the morning and asks you if you are sleeping, tell them that you are skydiving and wait to see if they believe you. If they don’t, you should tell them what you were really doing (unless you really were skydiving...) It is hogwash to think that naming your turtle “the speed of light” just so you can say that you are faster than the speed of light is a good idea.
6
A Ballad of New Year’s Eve He shoves and he ploughs Through this New York crowd Ten seconds, he hopes to be near Cheers, he does not care His heart is elsewhere Ten seconds until the New Year She tries to find him Her heart on a whim Nine seconds, desire to near Fantasy unknown Phenomenon prone Nine seconds until the New Year
His heart declares yes There’s no need for guess Two seconds and the fate will near In her heart it’s clear Of course he’ll be here Two seconds until the New Year At last there he is Bearing charm of his One second, and they are near And as they so meet They join in love’s feat A kiss on the magic New Year
He looks at the ball Soon to finish fall Eight seconds, she must be near “Please, oh, please,” he prays “Find her in this haze.” Eight seconds until the New Year Where now is her love? He’s all she thinks of With seven moments so near Is this dream crazy? It’s not a bit hazy Seven seconds until the New Year And so he still goes With hope that arose And six short seconds drawing near Where now is his love? She’s all he thinks of Six seconds until the New Year Now five on the clock Speed hastens her walk Five seconds and love brings them near With her walk, his walk And tick tock, tick tock Five seconds until the New Year Searching the cluster Becoming flustered Four seconds and they should be near If their love is true The time will pull through Four seconds until the New Year All’s left three glances In that, three chances Three seconds and New Year is near Is it meant to be? Boy and girl will see. Three seconds until the New Year
7
‘Tis The Season Word Search by Benjamin Hrovat (some credit to Puzzlemaker.com)
s d f r i y e v v o d e v f w y t n c s
y g h e y h o n t c g f n q a r w l u a
w u n l l w a o w g m x y d e s n a y m
h r l i v i g r n w w r i e e f l n j t
q o e e k x z o o i w l b a g c g q j s
h n o a t c g e v n o t x o a t y k h i
o f b a t i o a n h e f a t j p l k e r
s x k z b h d t j a y m n r k u b b a h
t x t n c i q e s y v a n l y l x x r c
s h s a w h g i e l s i m i i j k h t w
e d i w b p k c x r o x d z d l c y h n
w y w k u o o t m e h w z a f q i e x p
e o t e l t s i m i s a f p d u n u c h
v w n g u b k w b n r p p y o r a t s l
w s x s f k c e n d i o k v j e q c b q
a k v j d a p p j e s u s c h r i s t y
n r m c q o r u z e u m f a l u i b t h
c a a p d s h q t r t t l m a j f g m n
j d h a n u k k a h i k b a h f j k o o
b e l l s u c s b s s d y t h g h s o c
Happy Holidays
From the staff of
The Gordonian!
8