FAMILY STORIES

healthy kids

In these challenging times as our children struggle to cope with a swiftly changing world, one of the best things we can do is simply to let them know what strong stuff they come from. Decades of research show that children that know their family’s stories—especially how their parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and other forebears overcame adversity—have the ability to handle societal and personal trauma better.

“Family stories help children feel safe, secure and grounded,” says psychology professor Robyn Fivush, Ph.D., director of the Family Narratives Lab at Emory University, in Atlanta. “The stories provide a sense that they belong to something larger than themselves.” In the midst of unsettling events, she says it’s especially important for children to know that the family has been through hard times before and persevered.

Emory research shows that children, teens and young adults that know more of their family’s narratives have a greater sense of control over their lives, more self-esteem, better grades, higher social competence, less anxiety and depression, and fewer behavior problems. After 9/11, FAMILY STORIES Help Kids Cope During Tough Times by Ronica O’Hara children that tested high in measures of family narratives proved to be more resilient and less stressed.

Family stories can be of loss—“Once we had it all”—or of triumph—“We came up from nowhere”—but the most powerful stories are those that show both the peaks and the valleys, the hilarious escapades and deep losses. “Even simply hearing what other people wish they could have done differently helps to offer children a broader perspective to current experiences,” says Carrie Krawiec, a family therapist at Birmingham Maple Clinic, in Troy, Michigan. Accounts of the deepest trauma also prove formative: Knowing how their great-grandparents survived the Holocaust gave young adults a sense of gratitude, pride, courage and a greater religious commitment, a University of Pennsylvania study found.

Stories unfold easily at holiday dinners and during long car rides; even during an ordinary dinner, some kind of story—“Guess what happened today at the store?”—occurs about every five minutes, Fivush’s research shows. But summer vacation or days spent together inside a house provide a special opportunity for kids to dive deeper into their family background. For example, they can write an essay about a grandparent or aunt, write and direct a play with siblings, make a scrapbook, read history or novels to study events that took place during a specific time period, write a song or story from the ancestor’s point of view, research and draw a family tree or create a mini-documentary based on an interview with an older relative.

This is the quiz used in family narrative research, but Fivush cautions that the 20 questions are only a starting point, and many more can be created. Nor does getting the facts exactly right matter— those can easily be in dispute among family members. “It is the telling, the sharing and the listening that is more important than the story itself,” she says.

Do you know how your parents met? Do you know where your mother grew up? Do you know where your father grew up? Do you know where some of your grandparents grew up?

Getting Started with Family Narratives Read more about family narratives at Robyn Fivush’s Psychology Today blog: PsychologyToday.com/intl/blog/the-stories-our-lives Ideas for writing and craft projects: Tinyurl.com/

CreatingAFamilyNarrative

Questions kids can ask family grownups:Tinyurl. com/ClassroomRoots

Do you know where some of your grandparents met? Do you know where your parents were married? Do you know what went on when you were being born? Do you know the source of your name? Do you know some things about what happened when your brothers or sisters were being born? Do you know which person in your family you look most like? Do you know which person in the family you act most like? Do you know some of the illnesses and injuries that your parents experienced when they were younger? Do you know some of the lessons that your parents learned from good or bad experiences? Do you know some things that happened to your mom or dad when they were in school? Do you know the national or ethnic background of your family? Do you know some of the jobs that your parents had when they were young? Do you know some awards that your parents received when they were young? Do you know the names of the schools that your mom went to? Do you know the names of the schools that your dad went to? Do you know about a relative whose face “froze” in a grumpy position because he or she did not smile enough?

GARDENING 101: A Summer Home Economics Course

by Tiffany Hinton

Summer is nearly here, and most of the schools are on break for the season. In the Chicagoland area, the park districts and camps are still closed, leaving kids with less to do. This gives parents an opportunity to teach them life skills, along with some horticulture. A large yard is not needed, even a small patio or balcony can bring this lesson to life. For the gardening season, our growing zone is number 5, meaning we grow food and vegetation from May to October. Gardening 101 can be taught from the seed to the plate.

The course begins with planning. Allow kids to figure out how much space they have to plant and what they are interested in planting. Burpee (Burpee.com) and Johnny’s Selected Seeds (JohnnySeeds.com) are two sites that have some ideas and list the details about the conditions the plant needs to thrive. Once the size and area is determined, have the student make a list of what they intend to plant and map out the garden on paper.

If space permits, the student can even help build a simple, raised garden bed out of untreated 2”x6” lumber. Ideally, purchase three, 2”x6” boards, 8' (feet) in length and eight, 3" wood screws. Cut one of the boards in half; then, using an electric drill, place two screws in each corner where the boards meet. They may even be learning a bit of wood shop, as well. Now its time to prepare the dirt for planting. If the garden will be planted in pots or a raised bed, the student can help mix the soil. A good blend includes top soil, perlite, vermiculite and mushroom compost. This is great for grounding and

Photo credit Tiffany Hinton the kids’ immune system. The ions from the soil help boost the immune system. The soil should be of a fine texture similar to course cornmeal when it is ready for the seeds. Each student can read the seed package for planting details, including how deep to plant the seeds and how far to space them apart. A few easy-growing seeds that are easy to cook and prepare include bush beans, peas, carrots and cucumbers.

Remind the student to water the garden each day if there is no rain. This will help keep the seeds moist, and within seven to 14 days, the sprouts will typically appear. The student can continue to tend to the plants during growing season by weeding the garden and removing dandelions and grass that may take root in the new soil.

Once the veggies are ready for harvest, allow the student to pick them and wash the dirt off using a strainer in the sink. Simple cooking techniques like steaming on the stovetop or a stir-fry are a great way to taste the flavors. Younger students can help slice and dip the veggies they grew in ranch dressing for a snack.

Lessons can be brought inside by learning more about our growing season and the map of growing zones. This may be a great time to get them a field journal or sketch pad so they can recreate the map with paint or color pencils or learn each part of the seed and draw them. Each week, they can pick one plant from the garden to sit outside and draw, bringing art into the summer classroom.