Constructive Paths Through Workplace Conflict

Without the right tools, conflict resolution can be as fraught as the dispute itself. What’s more, working things out is about way more than a productive conversation. It involves body language as much as spoken words and the tone in which you speak, according to Kevin Coleman, an Empowerment Coach and General Services Administration Analyst. “We’re always going to have conflict,” Coleman said. “When you see it, you’ve got to know how to navigate through it vs. being absorbed by it.”

What Causes Conflict in the Workplace?

The top instigator is harassment, including bullying, Coleman said. Other common ones are:

• Increased workloads

• Lack of skills and training

• Negative work environment Try This: Have a conflict at work? Identify what the cause(s) may be.

• Opposing personalities

• Poor management or leadership styles

• Unfair treatment, such as a leader favoring or disliking someone

3 Ways to Deal with Conflict in the Workplace

1. Stop the problem before it starts. “When you are in a situation where people are not accepting your ideas, bring notice to it,”

Coleman said. “You could say, ‘I think my idea hasn’t been heard fully, so I’d like to reiterate it so you can get a good understanding of where

I’m going with this.’”

2. Seek third-party help to find common ground.

“Any time you see culture, values and beliefs, when they all intersect, the only thing you can find is common ground to get everyone on the same sheet of music,” Coleman said.

3. Move on, but stay vigilant with the help of

a coach. “A coach doesn’t pour in information.

They ask you those questions that you won’t ask yourself,” Coleman said.

Learn to Recognize Constructive vs. Destructive Communication

Characteristics of constructive conflict Characteristics of destructive conflict

• A focus on the issues, not tangents

• Cooperation

• A commitment to resolving the conflict • Respect for others, especially by listening to them

• Honesty and openness

• Encouragement of all stakeholders to speak up • Emotion-driven, rather than logic-driven, engagement

• Argumentativeness

• Ignoring others’ ideas and input

• Rejection of information without fully understanding it

• Refusal to agree or concede on an idea or information

• Promotion of self-awareness, such as word choice, posture and facial expressions • Criticism

6 Ways to Prepare for Important Conversations

1. Strategically prepare. Do your due diligence before the meeting by asking yourself what potential outcomes you want to see, what you need to discuss and how you want to approach it.

2. Express intention. Be clear on why you want to have the conversation.

3. Make it a safe, no-judgment zone. 4. Uncover assumptions. That way, you go in open-minded.

5. Recognize and respect. Recognize what the issue is and respect the reason why the other person feels how they do. You don’t have to agree, but you don’t have to be disagreeable.

6. Model the way. Show the other stakeholders the preceding characteristics to keep the conversation productive.

Try This: “Communicate with others the way they want to be communicated with. When you know how to communicate with people the way they want to be communicated with, that’s half the battle to resolve conflict,” Coleman said.