Let Me Tell You About My Friend Bert

Thank you to Kevin Schumacher ’78 for sharing excerpts of the eulogy he wrote for his Gow friend Bert Parrish ’78. We hope these words remind readers of the unique and lasting bond Govians share. Pictured: Peter Rosenthal ’79, Woody Ferrell ’79, Remick French ’78, and Nate Parrish ’79 at Bert’s funeral.

Bert and I met at Gow in 1977. As a class, we were excited about the future ahead. Most of us had previously struggled to do well in school, and were looking for a fresh start and way to overcome our learning challenges.

At Gow, we lived, ate, studied, and played together. During my first week on campus, Bert introduced himself. He was outgoing, and his kind, southern-gentlemanly manner helped to take the edge off the realization that I was going to be there for a while.

Over the coming weeks and months, a friendship developed with Bert and Remick French ’78 that I did not realize would last a lifetime.

We had many great adventures that year and the next. We spent time sneaking off campus to explore the beautiful hills and waterfalls surrounding Gow. We spent winters escaping the dorm or houses where we lived to set up forts in the woods. During the spring ice thaw, we would chop off planks of ice along the banks of the river behind the mess hall and float down the river, hoping our patch of ice would not fail mid-stream. Most of the time, these adventures ended without incident except for the one time when Remick’s ice broke apart mid-stream on a large rock. Bert, another student, and I quickly scooped up Remick and helped him run all the way back to his house without stopping for fear that his pants would freeze to his legs. After Gow, Bert attended my wedding in 1981, and visited once when he came to a Grateful Dead concert. I wondered briefly if he was there for me or the concert?

After that visit, we would not see each other again for 37 years.

What brought us back together was Bert. The circumstances were not great as he was now struggling with cancer. As we began to reconnect, it seemed like the only things that had changed were a little gray hair and a couple more pounds. Bert, always gracious and kind, was looking to connect for one more great adventure. He never told us then that his doctor had given him a very brief window to live. I believe he did not share that with us because of how hard it hit him when he first heard the news from his doctor.

For our reunion, Bert picked a favorite childhood place at Perdido Beach in the panhandle of Florida.

Remick, Tom Dowd ’79, and I enjoyed a couple of great days with Bert. We spent evenings at dinner discussing Gow, and Bert’s trip back to South Wales for Dan Kelley’s retirement party. Bert helped to remind us of just how lucky we were to have been able to spend those tender years together when life was shaping us into men. He would often pause at dinner and tear up. I believe it was because he cared so much for all of us and wanted nothing more than to spend the years ahead on trips like this now that we had all reconnected with one another.

Bert, always gracious and kind, was looking to connect for one more great adventure. He never told us at that time that his doctor had given him a very brief window to live. I never realized until that trip how special Gow and the friendships we

had forged meant to us. During the next year, many of us from Gow began reaching out to one another. Thinking back now, Bert was the hub of the wheel connecting us. We were drawn in by a common thread that was our joy and concern for a dear friend whose outgoing nature, kindness and easy going manner was so appealing to everyone he met.

In the late fall of 2021, Tom, Remick, my wife Karen, and I had the opportunity to spend time with Bert in Maine and New Hampshire.

During that visit, we knew Bert had already beaten the odds and lived much longer than his doctors expected. Each moment was special as we knew it might be our last, even though we continued to hope and pray that he would keep beating the odds. We spoke about many things in those days, such as life, death, and of our purpose in life. I reminded Bert how special he was to us and the joy we experienced when we were together, on a call or Facetime. He responded that he thought his purpose in life was to bring joy to others.

Bert was one of those people who could make you feel special, and loved. My dear friend Bert would often say, “Love ya buddy,” and we knew he meant it with all his heart.

YOUR GIFTS make a difference!

Our goal is to make giving easy. There are several donation options that may offer tax benefits for you and your heirs, while providing for your favorite people and charities in perpetuity.

MANY DONORS ASSUME THAT CASH GIFTS ARE THE ONLY WAY TO GIVE. LEARN MORE ABOUT OPTIONS THAT MAY PROVIDE FINANCIAL BENEFITS, WHILE HELPING GOW!

Including Gow in your will is one of the easiest ways to give. You can designate a set amount or a percentage of your estate, and make an unrestricted or restricted gift. Include Gow in your will by adding this sentence: “I give and bequeath to The Gow School (Tax ID# 16-1034793), located in South Wales, New York, the sum of $____ OR ____% of the rest, residue, and remainder of my estate.”

Creating a Named Endowment Fund

offers a meaningful way to honor you, your family, or someone special. Donors must give a minimum of $50,000 in five years. Named Funds can be unrestricted or restricted and are invested as part of Gow’s endowment.

BUY SOMETHING FUN FOR GOW’S WISHLIST

Support a specific department, classroom, or favorite team with a gift to the Wishlist! DEPARTMENT # NEEDED COST

ART

Digital Drawing Tablets 3 $2,500 Digital Camera 1 $700

HISTORY

Pull-down Classroom Map 1 $275 YouTube Subscription for class 1 $150/year

MATH

Instructional Game Sets 2 $150 Graphing Calculators 10 $140

Make a Gift of Appreciated Stock

and receive a charitable donation for the current value of the shares and avoid paying capital gains tax.

Sign up for AmazonSmile to help Gow every time you shop! Register at smile.amazon.com and designate Gow as your charity.

Donate from your IRA

If you are 72 years old and take a Required Minimum Distribution (RMD) from your IRA, donating directly to Gow reduces your adjusted gross income and tax burden.

Make Gow a Beneficiary of your

Retirement Plan and reduce estate and income taxes on the plan assets. Name Gow as the beneficiary, and Gow will receive 100% of the assets.

For more information, contact:

Gayle E. Hutton, Director of Development, 716.687.2074, ghutton@gow.org

RECONSTRUCTIVE LANGUAGE

Kindle E-readers

SCIENCE and TECHNOLOGY

Vex IQ Superkit (800 robotics components)

ATHLETICS

Smith Exercise Machine Wrestling Program Champions Plaque Pop-Up Tent for Soccer and Lacrosse Scoring Table Weight Plates Sets and Rack Barbell Sets

DORMITORIES AND EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES

Air Hockey Table Warner Dormitory Stick Hockey Table Warner Dormitory Gloomhaven Plus Reusable Sticker Set for Gaming Club

HEALTH OFFICE & INFIRMARY

Automated External Defibrillator (AED) Secure Storage Cabinet for Medications Electronic Probe Thermometer Wheelchair Blood Pressure Cuff Latex Free Pulse Oximeter

THE GOW SCHOOL SUMMER PROGRAM

Walkie-talkies Camping Tents Viper Robotics Kits 8 $120 each

1 $400

1 $3,000 1 $500 1 $250 10 $300/set 2 $230 each

1 $1,000 1 $1,125 1 $175

1 $1,500 1 $800 1 $300 1 $250 1 $40 1 $30

4 $200 5 $160 each 4 $250 each

Planned Giving at Gow

Creating a Lasting Legacy to Inspire Others

Sondra and Michael Gutkind, parents of Jonathon ’01, come from families who believed in philanthropy and making a difference. In Michael’s words, “Gow gave Jonathon the confidence, academic skills and sense of community that allowed him to succeed in college and beyond.” Jonathon is a graduate of the University of Pittsburgh with a degree in civil engineering.

To recognize and encourage students who are interested in science and technology, the Gutkind’s created the Dubin Gutkind Scholarship Award. This scholarship is named in memory of both Sondra’s and Michael’s parents who were strong advocates for Jonathon’s education.

This scholarship is given each year to an outstanding upper school student who excels in science, math, or applied technology. Sondra says, “We created this award to motivate and support students like Jonathon to further their technical education. This is our way of saying thank you for all Gow did for our family. We hope this scholarship will inspire other alumni and their families to make gifts that help support Gow.”

YOUR BEQUEST MAKES A DIFFERENCE!

Creating an estate plan ensures your legacy and benefits you, your heirs, and those charities you care about most. If you have already included Gow in your will, please let us know. It only takes a moment to complete the Bequest Intention form at gow.org. Your planned gift can be unrestricted (used where needed most) or restricted to a scholarship, department, or favorite program. You can designate a set amount or percentage of your estate and can alter your will or bequest at any time. To find out more about including Gow in your will, please contact the Development Office at 716.687.2075 or visit gow.org/support-gow/planned-giving.

Thank you to the following Wolbach Legacy Society members who have created a Named Fund, included Gow in their estate plan, or realized a bequest. We are so grateful!

KEY Bequest Received = BR Bequest Intention = BI Named Fund = NF

Mr. and Mrs. Frederick F. Bernard ’60BI Mr. and Mrs. Alan Botto ’57BI Mr. Abbott F. Brownell, Jr. ’61BI Mrs. Ann BullockBR Mr. Mark Camenzuli ’14BI The Lynn Chafin Scholarship FundNF Mrs. John C. Charlton ’40BR Mr. and Mrs. David and Mary Ann CoulsonBI The Roger Dawson ’83 FundNF The DeGeer Family Athletic FundNF The Denning Family Recognition AwardNF Mr. and Mrs. Lowell L. Dexter ’64BI Ms. Lori EasterbrookBI Mr. and Mrs. Scott EvansNF The Fazer AwardNF Mrs. Margaret FinnBR Mrs. Karen GanjeBR Mr. and Mrs. Marcus GoddardBI The Gow Student Enrichment FundNF Geoffrey ’60 & Jeremy ’90 Grant ScholarshipNF The James Grenauer ’55 Scholarship FundNF The Dubin Gutkind Engineering ScholarshipNF Mr. and Mrs. Michael GutkindBI Mr. Eric C. Halls ’82BI Mr. and Mrs. Fred Harvey, Jr.BR The Hepburn Family FundNF Mr. Graeme Hepburn ’84NF Mr. Warren Hepburn ’82NF Mr. and Mrs. William E. Hoke ’58BI Mr. Eugene HollandBR Mr. and Mrs. Jon H. Holt ’58BI Mr. and Mrs. Ed and Gayle HuttonBI The David L. Hyman ’51 Scholarship FundNF The Ibbotson Family FundNF The Ittmann Family FundNF Mr. and Mrs. Michael L. M. Jordan ’64BI The Daniel Kelley Scholarship FundNF Miss Suzanne LangworthyBR Mr. Jay Mandarino ’79 and Ms. Lorena Urrutia Scholarship Fund NH BI The Robert Manice ’71 Sculpture FundNF The McCallum Family BursaryNF The McIlvain Family FundNF Mr. and Mrs. Henry H. Minis ’66BI The Welles V. Moot, Jr. ’39 Scholarship FundNF The Murch Family Scholarship FundNF Mrs. David Owen ’37BR The William Parsons Endowed Chair for the Visual and Performing ArtsNF Ms. Marianne Pfeil-SchneiderNF Mr. and Mrs. Charles Pinkerton III ’70BI Mr. Lowell G. Powers, Jr. ’59 FundNF BI The Rathlyn Canadian Scholarship AwardNF The William Raynard Class of 2011 FundNF Mr. George M. Reid ’43BR Mr. J. Trumbull Rogers ’57BR The Rogers-Ivie Family FundNF The Simms Family Robotics ScholarshipNF The Paul A. Stephenson ’92 ScholarshipNF The Jeffrey Sweet Mathematics AwardNF Mr. and Mrs. David ThomasNF Mr. and Mrs. David Underdown ’61 Faculty Enrichment FundNF The Uliana Family Crimson Jacket FundNF Mrs. Katherine VailBR The B. Kent Vaughn ’07 Headwaiter FundNF The Jordan Walker ’08 Family Reconstructive Language EndowmentNF Mr. and Mrs. William S. Wallace ’74BI The Walton Family Foundation ScholarshipNF Mr. and Mrs. Robert Warner, Jr. ’64 FundBI NF The Byron Weston Scholarship FundNF Mr. Donald M. Weston, Jr. ’42BR The Henry C. Wehmeier ’83 Faculty Enrichment FundNF The Todd A. Wesselmann ’89 Memorial Scholarship FundNF Mr. and Mrs. Ward WildayBI Mr. Christopher Wilk & Ms. Christine StandishNF Mr. and Mrs. George S. Wislocki ’54BI Mr. John G. Wolbach ’37BR